I've had enough
One of the things that bothers me is how much time I lost in 2011. I sunk in into a depression (which I sorta still am but slowly getting on track), and I lost track of time. I proposed myself so many things but in came 2012 and here I am without any resolutions or plans because I got too depressed thinking of my future. Well, I had enough.
After hearing that one of my cousins (age 27) just got diagnosed with high cholesterol and irregular blood pressure due to his weight, I remembered that, back in 2010, I started a mission to lose (in that time 45 pounds) to gain a better lifestyle and feel better about myself (both physically and emotionally). But then stress arrived, my grandma got diagnosed with a terminal illness and off goes the mission. So today, I got back on track with a small workout, and it feels amazing. And to help me motivate, I told myself that if I lose the proposed 57 pounds (uhuh, that out of hand it got), I get to wear a cute short dress dress for New Year’s Eve 2012, even if I stay home, which is the usual plan.
I got emotionally hit with so many aspects of my life, and on this 2012, I want to fix or improve the major issues on my life that sometimes stop me and literally drag me down, even when there’s no reason to. And yeah, I know: I should be happy with my current body, but I got such a huge medical background with my family that being ok with my weight and physical appearance is not an option anymore. This time, I’m determined to stay on track, and end 2012 being a whole different person (sounds very Annoying FB Girl but yeah, that’s my plan.), both spiritually, mentally, emotionally and hopefully physically.
Wish me luck success! :D
Well hello, Rosadel of 2012.
Rosa of 2020 here. Quick life update: I’m now 30 years old, became a librarian, moved to Washington D.C. for a couple of years but came back, traveled way more than what you envisioned back then, but I’m also terrified: the times ahead look very scary right now.
As of the weight loss mission, letting you know: you didn’t lose 57 pounds - you lost 50. And it’s okay: five more and you would’ve looked dangerously skinny. Every now and then, the body issues pop up - which is normal. Also, the red dress you envisioned had to wait until 2013, but you looked ferocious that NYE. ;)
No, Rosa of ‘11, I’m writing to you because I’m glad you got it from the beginning. Life continued (continues) to hit you, sometimes with the worst hits imaginable, and it’s very hard to not let it go through you. Here’s the thing: the fix or improvement of major issues that you mentioned might never come - sometimes, you have to learn to live with the pain for the rest of your days. And guess what? It’s okay! We’re human, aren’t we? But don’t let that be a determent for issues you can fix. You will never heal from a major family betrayal that you found out literally days ago, but the lessons you get from the healing process become tools to help yourself. You have no idea how this realization changes your spiritual, mental, emotional and physical journey.
I’m so proud of you, 22 y.o. me. Hang in there.
