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@rosaley
Fall always seems so promising, like, YES, I am going to do better at life and buy all new underwear maybe, but then it never happens and it’s winter and I’m making my same old choices in my same old underwear.
This post is from eight years ago and it’s STILL TRUE
Oops I went a whole year without posting anything on tumblr.
My babies (and Caley) lately.
Almost two weeks with our girl Anneliese.
Ziska lately.
Maggie Nelson, Bluets.
It’s so strange to open tumblr for the first time in months and months and see how out of touch I have become with the lives of people I used to follow on here for so long. Are you doing okay? I am thinking of you! I hate the internet!
Almost 18 months with my best girl.
🌾👼🏻
On a less gloomy note, look at my happy, beautiful baby.
I’ve taken a four-day weekend ahead of the launch of the biggest project I’ve ever been responsible for at work. I don’t use tumblr at all anymore but I wish I had time to. I read back, perhaps too far, on my own blog and I can’t relate to the girl I was just a couple of years ago at all anymore. It made me feel a little sad seeing how naïve I was about most things. This is all making my life sound bad, and it’s not, but it’s strange to feel SO disconnected from who I used to be. I have less time now to worry about things that don’t really matter, but when I do have time those things seem to hit harder. Franziska has given my life meaning in a way I had always desperately needed but I also find myself missing when it was just me and Caley and we could do what we wanted to whenever we wanted to. It’s different and better but also more difficult and maybe I’m not adjusting as gracefully as I wish I were. I’m almost 30 and still whining on my blog about how hard life is though so maybe things aren’t as different as I think.
My babies.
Franziska took an almost-three-hour nap today. I fell asleep on the couch. Caley fell asleep on the living room floor. It was glorious.
To take care of a baby, you have to become accustomed to the constant sound of unhappiness; to spit-up and yellow poop; to long hours of doing nothing that requires your mental acuity, your wit, your carefully cultivated self. You will be so very tired. Once a baby is born, she will seem to expand ten times in size with her relentless needs and wants. She will care about you only in relation to herself, will claim residence in your arms and lock eyes as if to never let you go; and then, when the delicate fringe of her eyelashes finally comes to rest, you will be stuck awake, unable to turn away.
Polly Rosenwaike, Look How Happy I’m Making You
Lately.
My sister had her baby this evening so now I am even more terrified because this person I’ve been growing for 7 months is going to want out eventually and that just became V REAL for me.
Can officially report back that 7 months out is way better than 7 months in.
