I am so done with work for at least another year and I need to nap for at least a decade. Double shifts are not fun. Thank god for 4 days off I'm so done. done. done.
I haven’t introduced her to anyone, nothing personal. Hey, we were on our way to McDonald’s, you wanna come?
Hi Rosaline, nice to meet you! I feel sorry for all of you guys, spending your summer with this goof… Um, yes, actually it is very interesting. Wuthering Heights, I was told I’ll have to read it later in High School so I might as well just do it now.
M-McDonalds?.. Um sure, why not? It wouldn't hurt to accompany you guys.
It's nice to finally meet you as well. Your brother has said a lot about you. Wuthering Heights is definitely a good read. I enjoyed it quite a lot. Once you're finished, if you haven't read The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle then you should. I personally think it's a bit better than Wuthering Heights, personally. It's in a similar time period too.
Don't listen to him, Cassandra. He just doesn't know how amazing a book can be and that fictional characters need more attention than... whatever people are into this days.
"Here is the tragedy: when you are the victim of depression, not only do you feel utterly helpless and abandoned by the world, you also know that very few people can understand, or even begin to believe, that life can be this painful."
**trigger warning: negativity and alcohol**
People think depression is something that could be easily fixed, and some days it can be. However, other days, it can just pop up at the worst moments possible and today was one of those days. Rosaline was in her shared room with Daemon listening to music on her IPOD. She was alone, because he was most likely hanging out with Winter or the others. It was so obvious, everyone had a thing for each other. It didn't take a lot to see that. Then there was just, her. A small smile tugged the corner of her lips as her chest tightened with loneliness, an emotion she often felt and was familiar with Ever since Cooper disappeared from her life, it was harder to smile. Of course, she had her brother, but with Cooper. It was different somehow. Although, after her chats with Rory, she had began to feel a bit better. Slowly, but surely, she was getting better.
Every time she spotted Gavin with Stella, or Rhys chilling with Keely. It was like a brick to the face, that she wouldn't find someone to fill the empty spot in her heart so easily. People may think she doesn't know, but she does. People think that she's fine with being alone, a book her only companion, but that wasn't the case at all.
She wanted someone. Rose needed someone to re-assure her that she looked beautiful that day. That didn't care about her book/manga rants and listened to them, commenting them at times. That would be there, not doing anything, just being there when her depression claimed the best of her. Someone to hold her when she cried for absolutely for no reason, telling her that it was okay. To take her time. Instead of telling her "it was all in her head". to simply "get over it".
After a few moments, remembrance turned into jealousy, a jealousy so bad that she didn't return to her room some nights; of course Daemon never said anything, why would he?
There it was, that foggy feeling she hated feeling so much. It was slowly wrapping against her head, suffocating her in never-ending negative emotions. Emotions she didn't want to feel, not with her father coming so soon. Rose needed to be strong, even if it's only for a few days. She needed to shove those feelings deep down in her chest and force the positive ones out. But her father wasn't here right now, so for a moment, Rose would be selfish.
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she forced them down. Not when someone could walk into the room. Not where someone could easily see her raw emotions.
The redhead stood and changed from her pajamas into some shorts and a long-sleeved shirt. As she slipped on her chucks, she tucked her IPOD into her pocket and walked out of the room. It was 2:30 in the morning so surely everyone would be asleep, or out and about having a social life. One Rosaline wished she could easily get.
She quietly walked over to the fridge and pulled out a few beer cans, tucking them under her arm and walking out the front door. Surely, Rhys wouldn't mind.
Rosie walked down the dirt road, not having a destination as one foot placed itself in front of the other. She opened the can hesitantly and stared at it for a while. This liquid was said to work miracles, sometimes having a positive effect. It really depended on the person, and she might as well have a go. She was by herself after all.
She pressed the can to her lip and tilted her head back, instantly spitting out the golden drink as soon as she felt its bitter taste. The tall girl wiped her mouth with her sleeve, but it wasn't long enough until she found herself chugging said beverage. It burned a lot as it ran down her throat and settled in her stomach, groaning softly as she continued walking under the the dark skies. She soon finished one can and crushed it, throwing it onto the ground as she began to her last one.
The beer made her head feel funny, but in a good way she thought. It made her think of other things. Things that she usually think about. Like how un-welcomed she felt, how everyone seemed to have fun. How everyone could be so easily, and annoyingly happy. They all knew each other. Why did she even bother coming on such a trip? Well, to get away from her abusive father, but guess what Rose? He's here too.
The bookworm threw the unfinished drink at the ground, yelling in frustration. She began to pull at her hair and cried, and for once showed her true emotions to no one. Rose wanted to be self-ish. For once, she wanted it to be all about her. Because she's there too. Because she lives there too.
Crying turned into sobbing as she stopped in her tracks, doubling over as she held out a hand to support herself on something. Rose found a big rock she could sit on and she did. She was far from the house where it would take a while to look for her, if anyone bothered.
She buried her face in her hands, running of a drunk high and chocolate as selfishness turned into self-loathe. Rosaline knew that it was really her fault no one talked to her, she never leaves her room anyways. She hardly says hi to anyone. She isn't open to anyone. In the end she knew, that the thing she wanted most wasn't easily attainable. Because it was all her fault. And she loathed herself for it with a passion.
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