Go easy, Step Lightly, Stay Free

This is just my online diary because I am too lazy to write in a real one. Started August2014.

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

[bartlentini]

Highlands NJ 2019

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

2019

It’s amazing how quickly time has passed, and how much of it, yet how little there is that has happened. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have been nonstop going it feels, every weekend venturing to some town in New York or Jersey to see my friends, going out in Middletown, visiting Jack in DC, visiting New Paltz, having people visit here, going out in NYC.. I guess when I spell it out I have done a lot, but when Monday-Friday I have from 7:30-9:00 PM to do everything I want in a day, it’s kinda hard. It sucked hard for a bit but now I am galvanized to figure out what my next step is. Will I save up $XXX and do music for a bit? Well, that would deter me from moving out. Will I quit this job and start a new one in the city? Hopefully, but what if it’s just as bad as the last one? Do I travel while I am young? What do I do? 

A lot of my peers have been reeling as of late over similar thoughts. I am not falling victim to the weight that they carry; I am choosing to embrace the struggle, the transition, because the freedom to decide what comes next is liberating, but the confines that effect this decision are frustrating.

It is the new year. 

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

Today I gave a woman a tour of the gym at a rather murky day at work. I didn’t put as much personality into it as usual, but spoke to her after for a bit. When she was about to leave, she told me there was “something about my personality” that made her believe I was going to change the world. I’d like to believe that she’s right cuz lately I’ve been falling short of my own thresholds for self-advancement and productivity. However I guess that’s a good sign, since I still get good grades and work and work out, but allowing myself to bool and see friends all the time and drink all the time makes me feel guilty! One more month until I graduate and then I’ll start changing the world, eh?

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

the youth is starting to change

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

know your limits and know yourself

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

i rly hate that i’m such a big mouth. I tell people things about me and others that I don’t always need to, albeit not things that people ask me not to, but that I feel maybe I should keep to myself more. People ask, and some things are not in my control, but I know that I spill too easily and I wish that I didn’t. It’s not that I don’t trust people, i have a lot of close friends, but I feel perhaps I should be more of a closed book.

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

Day dreamin and i’m thinkin of you..

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

lots of self care this week. skiing yoga night walks face masks sleeping early rising early writing guitar. phoooof staying distracted is busy work but i feel good

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

love this boy to the moon n back

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

Been on an insane Amy kick recently. I ain’t mad, she’s feeling shit and drinking it away and reeling and loving 2 much. Walk around just so I don’t have to think about thinking..

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

The most wonderful time of the year

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

Hung out with Allie last night. Did the old high school bullshit, replacing cigarettes with Juul’s, uncertainty with the knowledge that it no longer fears us, and Titus Andronicus blaring through my speakers and our throats. It made me feel so much more at peace for some reason. That girl has always had a profound effect on me and I adore her for it, and I adore her for the grace she shows in light of horrible circumstances. She’s always had that way about her.

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

My whole world just spins

Make some coffee, hold me up

Try to talk me out of giving up

I'll come back to you

It'll be brand new

But I promise

We're just friends

[rosetintsmyworlddd]

“cara make a gif of me doing this”