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if you don’t give college students internships they’ll start being superheroes in their small college towns

non lesbians always have the craziest takes on lesbianism it’s like lesbians will be like “hmm yes i think the hate towards bisexuals is overstated we should have more community with other women… hmm yes i think there are many ways to be a lesbian and limiting it to butchfemme dynamics is bad” and some bisexual woman who calls herself sock with he/it pronouns will show up and say I THINK WOMEN WHO HAVE SEX WITH MEN ARE LESBIANS IF THEY SAY SO. HER JAKEY IS A LESBIAN TOO. SUCKING DICK IS A LESBIAN ACTIVITY like maam i know you just started identifying as lgbt yesterday and have a lot to learn but this is actually not a space for you!

#if i use the main lesbian tag i may be killed

thinking about the time i was talking about chainsaw man with some people and i said about makima “i can fix her” and one guy went “but she’s a horrible person you don’t want to date that” brother what do you think i can fix her means

#no tags this dies here

if ANYBODY gets to be an honorary lesbian it’s johnny truant writing about how hot her wrists are and giving her oral as his main priority. my spirit animal

#nah i’m not tagging this

i have so many thoughts about the passive, unfeeling degendering of women (and specifically women that don’t 100% conform to beauty standards—you can be a feminine woman but if you don’t look like a tradwife you are still getting called they) and how it specifically happens to women and how crazy misogynistic that is that it deserves to be an essay but i’m not pretentious enough to have a substack so it’ll live in my brain

#i actually think it deserves to be a youtube video essay bc i like those #but i’m not pretentious enough to do that either #i’m just. so tired

if i learned one thing from my degree it’s that we cannot and will not outlaw conventional pesticides because the food system depends on them and if you really really want everything to be produced in a way that perfectly complies with what you think is “not chemicals” you also have to be prepared to let large amounts of people fucking starve

#also what counts as an ok pesticide to you. or are no pesticides ok #if it’s organic approved is it ok? if it has zero possible side effects for people?#what about zero off target effects?#bc i’m telling you we got too many mf rusts on wheat to ban all pesticides #i can see the bread lines now #just like learn one thing about agriculture before running your mouth holy SHIT #and RESPECT FARMERS. they work so much harder than your privileged ass ever has!!!!!

i wish there was JEI irl for bullshit in your cabinet like i should be able to look at canned green beans and press R for recipes i can make with canned green beans

#trying to use up food before i move like #mexicoslop for dinner tonight

scrolling around on maps near my apartment going “and i’m gonna get tea there and bagels there and oh i am DEFINITELY going to be a regular at that japanese place and that’s the grocery store that i have to go to at the crack of dawn to shop in peace…”

#there’s a coffee shop near the train station with the most beautiful whimsical decor #like fake flowers everywhere ceiling COVERED in fake vines #there’s a caribbean place in the same building as my apartment it’s literally so over for my paycheck #the nearest laundromat is far enough away that i have to take my car which is cringe #but there’s a dry cleaner on the same block as my place which is based

hi i met a cute girl at the bar and i think it would have worked if we weren’t both graduating she was soooo pretty and i rlly hope she stretches her ears cause i told her it wasn’t that bad and she should :) cause she had fake gauges so she should get the real thing. anyways i drank like 4 cups of water but i am still inebriated so its bedtime :) alsooooo she called me handsome which omg. im dying. holy shit. also YONKERS

#manifesting at tots like:#they played every time we touch <3

"hows reading day going" 1 hour of chud agarthan esoteric schizo music to survive the kali yuga

#this essay will be done and it will be. good enough #and then i will study for paleo #and then i will study for ipm #and then i will GO DOMINO #then bed for my 8am final tomorrow :)

grapes are so cool. lianas are so cool. plant said i want to climb that thing but also be tree can i do both and evolution said YES !!

#plants #botany

i feel like the amount of women that have weird ass vagina problems i’ve never experienced is correlated with the amount of women that get that thang waxed on the regular. like you cannot be telling me that your shit is that fucked just. at random. and so many of you??? nah

#like i know having issues is natural but not like that girl #try bush

instagram knows i like plants but cannot parse how people are talking about plants so my feed is often full of "omg i love my outdoors job but WHY did it have to be the plant one i only do animals plants suck ://////" how about i KILL YOU with a GUN

#job i want very badly and no one will hire me to do so maybe gfy #i will id every grass!!!!!!!!!!!! i will not complain AT ALL let alone post snarky instagram reels about it!!!!!!!#HIRE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

still thinking about that customer yesterday that called and said “i just have a question” and i said yeah sure i can answer that for you and she just started ordering pizza. like yeah technically “can i get xyz” is a question but that’s not what that MEANS

#idk if she said that to fuck with me or what #dominos escapades #fuck customer service jobs fr you people are insane

“anybody can be a lesbian!!!!” says woman dating a tim who goes on to argue that saying that you’re not attracted to dick is exclusionary and weird

#you’re not allowed to have an opinion about who counts as a lesbian if you’re going to perpetuate lesbophobia #i will shout it from the rooftops idc DICK IS GROSS I DO NOT LIKE IT THIS IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LESBIANISM #also her bf went on to try to convince one of my other friends that he totally needs to start estrogen #even tho he was like no i’m good i like looking like a man i just don’t align with most men and toxic masculinity #when will mass peaking happen please GOD make it soon

idk how chappel roan got so popular as a “lesbian” artist when one of her popular songs is literally about having a bad date with a man and deciding to only date women. if that isn’t the most “bisexual woman who’s going to exploit lesbians for sex then promptly marry a man” thing idk what is

#any woman swearing off men and only dating women after a specific bad interaction is a red flag #i love you febfems btw #that song is in a playlist a fren made and yeah it’s a good song #but i almost keeled over right there while operating a subaru listening to the lyrics #i’m shocked she (car) didn’t take control of the wheel and kill me for my crimes #new car btw rip acorn welcome rubasu her name is pieris and she is blue

cannot wait for the extremely awkward interaction next week where i have to iron my shirt in the tiny hotel room i am sharing with 3 turbonormie women who have never heard of a cufflink

#classic butch issue #i may kill myself #i am sleeping on the floor btw #this has been decided by me because i dont wanna sleep in a bed with a random woman #who probably sees me as some sort of predator due to short hair

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