There are so many things I want to tell you. "Don't listen to that terrible person" "don't let people ruin your day, they're horrible and horrible people shouldn't be listened to", but those are the ignorant words that were shoved down my throat by parents that make me want to spit them back at them and wear a permanent grimace for the rest of my life. It's not easy to just simply not let it get to you. It's impossible, really, to simply ignore something that you have hardwired into your personality to be offended about. That's not what I'm asking.
Upon reflex, pretty much, you get offended or sad, right? Even if you know it's not true, or perhaps especially when you feel it's true, you can't just not get upset by certain things you hear, right? The thing is... it's impossible to not be offended by things that offend you. That's not the message I'm trying to get across. The message I'm trying to send here is that while not getting offended is hard, feeling better/moving on after you've been kicked into the dirt is totally, 100 percent possible.
You think that's BS, right? That you don't want to hear "it gets better" because something snaps inside of you that makes you want to break something, right?
It's just like what you said in response to someone who sent you an ask saying they shouldn't be around anymore. It should already be fine, why can't it be now that you're happy!? You've been waiting for so long, you've been trying and trying and trying to wait and it still hasn't been getting better! Sure, you feel better for a few hours every day, but it always goes spiraling down because you hate everything you do.
I don't know about you, but that's how I feel every day.
You know, I started getting in to drawing, and every day I look at my art and see nothing has changed. It's the same boring, stale expressions on every piece. It makes me want to just... I don't know. I feel so terrible seeing my art sometimes. I keep getting told I need to practice, but why can't I be good ALREADY? I've been practicing for so long, but no matter how many drawings I do, I feel like I'm getting worse, not better.
See? You're not alone!! I feel like that too! Remember how we were talking awhile ago about how similar we were in small ways?
Oh, and you're not only not alone in experiences either! You're also not alone emotionally! I'm here for you, Ari!! I believe in you!! I'll be here whenever you need me! Do you want to talk together? Sure thing! Do you want to cry on my shoulder! Yeah!!! Forget the people who don't care enough to let you vent! Us people who are scared of venting need to stick together!
Can't think of anything to say other than "asdfhj;; *flails*"? That's okay, too! Can't live up to my length in a reply? Sure thing, friendo! Want to talk about a random thing that made you happy today? Yes, go ahead!! I'll listen to that too!
But I won't listen to "you'll just leave me because my venting is stupid." No. No. I won't take that. Please don't say that, because I'll be here for you to help you and there's nothing you can do about that.
prguitarman
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vaporwave
stormborns
kianamaiart
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