summary: dating draco malfoy was always within pansy’s plan to ensure her future. there’s only one problem; she underestimated just how intertwined (y/n) was on draco’s life.
or
pansy tries to ensure her relationship with draco but he always seems more interested in his best friend.
warnings: none
i. Prologue: a match made in hell.
Draco Malfoy and (Y/N) (Y/L/N).
Prince and Princess of Slytherin.
A match made by the devil, Weasley would mutter under his breath whenever he caught a glimpse of them walking through the corridors.
(It was rather much a match crafted by their parents, but same difference really.)
Families that belonged to the sacred twenty eight tended to stick together— with fake smiles and the desire to keep their bloodlines pure acting as the glue— so it was only reasonable that (Y/N) and Draco would grow up together. After all, in the words of (Y/N)’s mother, “keep your friends close and your possible suitors closer.”
synopsis - after the red room is destroyed you find yourself lost and searching for something to ground you. you find yourself in gotham where you meet a soul even more lonely than your own.
see also - in which two souls meet and discover that maybe there is still something to believe in
warnings - mentions of past abuse, brainwashing, murder.
notes - okay so, i love both dc and marvel and of course had to incorporate it somehow so reader will be a former black widow of the red room, which means she's a total badass who also happens to have some major trauma and abandonment issues and pair that with our emotionally constipated and trauma induced bruce, power couple goals amirite.
this fic takes place after the black widow movie and will continue through the batman movie. that being said.
this will have multiple parts, at least five and most likely 10. depends on the feedback, let me know if you wish to be added to the tag list
THIS FIC CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR BLACK WIDOW / THE BATMAN.
"You're getting rusty, Y/N. You know what happens to girls who fall behind." You pant as your opponent, Anita, smirks and aims for your legs. Her foot swipes yours, leading you to fall backwards onto the mat as you cry out.
"вставать." (Get Up!) You turn your head to meet the voice calling to you when you are struck by an unseen force, flesh meeting flesh in a harsh slap that echoes in the room. You force down tears, as your hand reaches to cradle your cheek, your other hand clenching so tight you feel your palms begin to bleed as your nails form crescent marks.
Your eyes meet that of your instructor, Lady Vera who stares down at you with cold unimpressed blue eyes.
"Stand up, you incompetent fool. You are a widow, and widows do not lose."
You wake up with a gasp, hand rising to your cheek where a mark on longer lies, yet the ache lingers as unwanted memories flit around your mind.
You push your covers down your torso as you glance at the clock, the mocking red numbers blinding your eyes.
With a subdued sigh you stand with a quiet yawn and much needed stretch, your steps slow as you wander towards your kitchen, stopping and opening the blinds to welcome the gloomy skies of Gotham.
It had been two months since the red room had been destroyed, with the help of you and some former widows and while you didn't need to worry anymore about them ever finding you, it didn't stop the ghosts that haunted you. Nor did it wipe the blood off your ledger.
Nothing could atone your sins, erase the memories of the lives you took, ruthlessly. It was a constant reminder that weighed heavily on your shoulders. You had fled to a place where you could hopefully start anew, where no one knew of you or your wrongdoings. You had found yourself in Gotham, a place so dreary full of people just trying to survive, who only cared for themselves. Perfect for blending in, and remaining under the radar.
Willing away the thoughts before they could overtake you again, you picked up the remote and flicked the TV on for a distraction as you heated up the stove for some tea.
"It's a day of mourning, as late last night Mayor Don Mitchell Jr. was found brutally murdered in his own home. No suspects have been prosecuted as police are heavily investigating the scene-"
You looked up from where you placed the tea leaves in, as a picture of the former mayor flashed on the screen, no doubt taken during one of his electoral debates. You felt an unsettling feeling pooling in your gut as you stared at his bright smile, seeing the mask that hid the corruptness inside.
You clicked the TV off as you finished your tea, removing it from the stove and into your cup as you leaned against the counter. You couldn't help but feel that this murder was only the tip of the iceberg and the murderer had much bigger plans in store.
"This is not the time to meddle, you have a job to get to and Oz doesn't care much for tardiness." You reminded yourself. Finding jobs in Gotham was no easy feat and you had luckily been hired as one of Oz's bodyguards after he had of course tested your skills. He hadn't cared for where or how you learned to fight and simply hired you upon the spot, more interested in the coverage you could bring him, and disgustingly, the view.
Slipping into your club attire you groaned as the leather skirt slid up your legs, the fabric ending at the top of your knees leaving little to the imagination. Your top was thankfully less revealing, a nice soft blue spaghetti strap that complimented your skin nicely.
You exited your apartment, making sure to lock it behind you as you approached your bike. A Venom X 22R, painted a midnight black, highlighted with streaks of crimson. You had a thing for the black and red scheme you couldn't seem to shake.
Swinging a leg over the bike, you slid your helmet on and sped off, weaving between pedestrians and other vehicles alike.
As the iceberg lounge came into view, you slowed your bike, parking in the side alleyway where you locked it up.
You entered through the backdoor, being greeted by the twins that eyed you hungrily, but didn't touch you, in fear of the incident that occurred the last time they got brave.
Not sparing them a glance, you headed up the stairs and onto the next level where you were to stand guard as Oz attended to his business.
You had been standing there no more than fifteen minutes when you heard screams and yells of anger, your adrenalin spiking as the sounds moved closer to your post.
A silhouette moved swiftly through the crowd, pointed ears calling attention as the mass of black kevlar and leather boots entered your vision. He took out the men poised on the catwalk easily as he headed up your direction.
Without a single thought you leaped for him, using your thighs to hold onto his head as you flipped backwards, bringing him to the ground. He was up in a second, descending upon you with well aimed hits, that you dodged effortlessly. You could see the frustration rising up within him as you blocked each of his attacks. You couldn't help the smirk that rose upon your lips. He was good, but you were better.
Growing tired of the cat and mouse game you aimed a kick for his crotch, grabbing his arm as he leapt to grab your leg you flipped him over your shoulder and upon the metal grating. The metal vibrated beneath the force of his fall and you stood over him as Oswald made his way over, eyes wide in alarm.
"Woah, woah! Stand down, cupcake. We don't want to kill him." He placated you. You rolled your eyes as you stepped back from the bat as he slowly made his way to his feet. Blue eyes trained on you with a harsh glare.
"Take it easy there, sweetheart. I hear you're looking for me? I'm Oz. Let's take this up into my office, and try not to aggravate cupcake here, she bites." Oz joked, cackling at his own wit as you followed by his side, ignoring the piercing gaze in your back as the bat followed you.
You couldn't help but feel that this encounter was far from your last, and the mundane life you so carefully crafted was no longer under the radar.
summary: in which druig found himself falling for the gentle soul who was also known as the goddess of human love and flowers.
warnings: this series WILL include major spoilers for marvel eternals. angst, pining, unrequited love
word count: 3.8k
a/n: third chapter!! this one is hella long so good luck with that! just wanted y’all to be aware that if you do get inspired by my fic and write fics relating to it i would really appreciate it if you could credit me or @ me so I can see it since I spend hours planning and writing these chapters :/ + once again I have not proof read this as it’s almost 3am
masterlist - series masterlist
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
“Phastos, didn’t Ajax say less working?” She questioned the Eternal who was standing in the center of the room. A few of the Eternals were scattered around the main room of the Domo, sitting as they watched Phastos continue to create plans for the advancement of technology while the rest of the Eternals were out fighting deviants.
Given the fact that it was around 575 BC at the time the Eternal rolled her eyes playfully as Phastos began to describe a steam engine he invented. She listened to him giddily explain his invention whilst Sprite decided to have fun, changing the man’s outfit into something he’d hate to be seen wearing erupting laughter from the other Eternals while she stifled her own laughter.
Footsteps were heard making their way towards the Eternals causing Sprite to immediately change Phastos’ outfit to the way it previously was, Ajax looked around the room as she walked in, shaking her head in disappointment as her eyes fell on the inventor who was still working.
“Phastos, did you go to the party last night like I told you to?” She questions the Eternal, wanting nothing more than him not overworking himself. He began to stutter, struggling to make up a lie.
“Uh- yeah the party, it was very-“
“He worked all night.” Druig commented, exposing him whilst chuckling at the fellow Eternal’s reaction, he was sat against the wall cross legged, beside him was her, fidgeting with something Phastos created earlier in the day purely for her entertainment.
“Who was talking to you?” Phastos retorted, causing Druig to laugh even harder, she swatted his arm rolling her eyes at him for getting Phastos into trouble.
“Get a life.” Ajax demanded, not wanting the Eternals to spend the years cooped up in the Domo while the rest of them defeat the deviants and protect humanity.
“Ouch.” Druig muttered, still attempting to hide his amusement while she elbows him.
She suddenly stood up from her seat moving to get the food that Druig was snacking on, deciding to snatch it out of his hand which led to him gasping in disbelief. He got up from his seat to get more for himself and his counterpart.
Hours later the group found themselves surrounded by humans, Sprite stood at the center using her projection abilities to cast images into the air for the humans to see, she began to tell stories about the Eternals from the past, about how they came to earth to protect humans from deviants and the made up story about Ikaris about how he flew close to the sun.
“I can't sit here knowing there are deviants still wandering around, hurting others.” Thena confessed, surprising the other Eternal who didn’t know anyone was standing next to her, she glanced at the woman sympathetically.
“At least you have the ability to protect them.” She shrugged, looking around the room to avoid eye contact with Thena as she felt a wave of self deprecation overtake her emotions.
“They began to call me the Goddess of human love, did you hear about that? I’m incapable of using my powers to protect them yet they give me such a title that I’m not worthy of owning.” Thena looked at her sympathetically, arms going around the Eternal in an attempt to comfort her before forcing the Eternal to face her, fingers holding her chin to make their eyes meet.
“Then let’s go.” Thena suddenly declared, the Eternal looked at her curiously.
“Let’s get out of here, let’s prove ourselves worthy of the names they give us. We cannot sit here and be idle while there are creatures out there to fight.” Thena continued, attempting to convince the hesitant Eternal.
She glanced up towards the air where Sprite’s projections lit up the room, remembering how almost all of the Eternals were mentioned in the stories, except for her.
She knew Sprite didn’t do that intentionally, she didn’t intentionally want to hurt the Eternal but by excluding her from the stories in which the Eternals saved the globe once again from deviants made her feel less and less like a hero and more of a spectator.
“But, all I can do is conjure up flowers and greenery, what good is that when I’m up against a deviant?” She questioned Thena truly believing she truly wasn’t capable of more.
Thena tsk’s in response shaking her head.
“You know if Druig heard you talk so low about yourself he’d do anything in his power to make you think otherwise.” Thena explains, hoping that her friend could see herself the way everyone else did.
“What he thinks doesn’t matter as much to me compared to what I think of myself.”
“You must not limit yourself, you’re a force of nature, literally, it’s in your powers.” Thena claimed, causing a giggle to escape the shorter woman, a soft smile appeared on her face as she kept her friend within arm’s reach.
“Just think about it okay, I’ll be here if you ever need a partner in crime other than the brooding telepath.” She teased before making her way towards the door, only to be stopped by Ikaris.
The Eternal couldn't hear the conversation between the two, deciding to make her way around the rooms and opting in small talk now and then with the humans. They relentlessly ask for her to visit their homes and bless their crops as she tries to explain that she doesn’t have the abilities to do so, her attempts were in vain as they were determined to get her to visit to which she eventually agreed.
There was a flash of gold in the air that ran passed her, the unmistakable entrance of the one and only Makkari holding a handful of trinkets that she placed on a table in front of a group of men, Druig sat across the men. While Makkari’s back was facing towards her, she could see Druig seated in front of her only a few meters away.
“The beautiful Makkari, you’re late.” She overheard Druig announce, a smile forming on his face as the speedster made her way closer towards him. Glancing away from the two in front of her she looked around the room, noticing that Thena was nowhere to be seen as she’d usually be found at Gilgamesh’s side. Ikaris stood next to Ajax, it seemed that the two were in the midst of an important discussion, but she had to distract herself from the self doubt that began to bubble up inside of her.
She was wandering around the room alone, torn between ideas, should she just retreat back to the Domo or stay at the event? The only Eternal to approach her at this party was Thena herself, other than that she spent the last hour or so hovering near the food.
She regretted making her way closer to Ajax and Ikaris, unfortunately overhearing an important confession from Ikaris.
“I won’t let my feelings for Sersi distract me from our mission.” Ikaris announced, determination written on his face, she was in shock after overhearing the confession, feeling guilt from eavesdropping and had to announce her presence to the two.
“But you’re allowed to live a life. Go, go tell Sersi how you feel.” Ajax insisted, Ikaris hesitated, not knowing what to do.
“I could help with that.” She declared, making her presence known to the two. They turned their heads towards her. “I apologize for eavesdropping, I was just about to leave, but, I do think this is wonderful news Ikaris!” She smiled, arms wrapped around him as she enveloped him in a hug, giddy with the idea that her two close friends will find love. Ajax believed that the goddess of ‘human love’ could in fact help with Ikaris’ situation, urging him to accept her help which he reluctantly did, she felt overwhelmed with excitement, mind racing with hundreds of ideas to help him.
Ajax left the two alone to plan together, now sat at a table with two drinks sat in front of them. From her seat she could see Kingo, Sprite, Sersi and Gilgamesh sitting together surrounded by humans who begged for more stories to be told. To the left of her behind a pillar was the table Druig sat at with Makkari standing in front of him, she could just about see some of the gestures Makkari made to the man as he began to stand in front of her, his head tilted up in a teasing manner as she mimicked his own. She struggled to hear what conversation the two were having due to the liveliness of the room, only being able to just about see Makkari’s hand gestures as she signed to Druig.
Due to Makkari’s back facing her, she only managed to understand the word’s ‘love’ ‘confess’ and ‘I love you’ before turning her attention to the man in front of her. “What do I even say to Sersi?” He broke the silence and disrupted her train of thoughts to which she was grateful for, he was unsure on how to tell Sersi due to the lack of experience he had with these kind of situations.
“Well for starters, maybe you should show her you care, do the things she enjoys to do, spend more time with her, continue to create that bond with her.” She advices, he nodded his head in response, making notes in his head as she continued. “Sersi clearly loves spending time with all of us, so you’d have to make an effort with that, no running off when we’re all in the same room, okay?” She teased, causing Ikaris to let out a groan of annoyance, his forehead leaning on his arm that rested on the table, she laughed at his childish antics, patting his head in a way to comfort him.
“I know it’s all stressful and complicated right now but these things take time. You don’t want to rush into anything and risk ruining it, and don’t worry I’ll be here to help you with any questions or worries that you may have.” She offered a smile, Ikaris looked back up at her, face relaxing as he took in her words.
“Thank you.” He responded, grateful to have the help of someone who understands his situation without knowing much. She couldn’t help but smile the entire time she plotted with Ikaris, sharing ideas back and forth with one another. The fact that her two friends could fall in love and spend the rest of eternity with one another made her heart burst.
And on another positive note, this allowed her to get her mind off a certain telepath who she believed couldn’t take his eyes off the speedster. Unfortunately missing the way his eyes would glance over at the table she sat at every couple of seconds, staring at her hand resting on Ikaris’ arm. Druig couldn’t stop staring at her smile, the way her head tilted back as she laughed, in different circumstances seeing her laugh would make the telepath’s heart grow twice its size but as he stared at the eternal next to her he couldn’t help the jealousy that flooded in.
“When are you going to confess your love for her?” Makkari signed to him, sick of his lovesick expression as he watched her talk to anyone else but him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He responded sarcastically, causing the speedster to hit him in the arm, glaring at him.
“Okay fine! But not love, at least,I don’t think it is. And who said anything about confessing?” He shrugged, avoiding the eyes of the woman in front of him. She looked exasperated, tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention, her frustration increasing by the second.
“You can't keep up with the lovesick act, stop thinking you’re not good enough for her. The rest of the Eternals and I love you and we know she does too.” She paused.
“You’re not some bad villain you enjoy to paint yourself to be.” Makkari signed before making her way from Druig and towards the group of four Eternals, allowing him the time to think about what he was told.
Days later their plan was finally set in motion, everytime she hung out with Sersi, Ikaris would drop by and join them, expressing his interests in what they were doing, eventually the other Eternal would let the two continue bonding, making an excuse for her sudden departure and making her way to the beach that sat beside the village, home of the human’s who asked for her to visit a couple days ago in which she did.
Sitting on the beach alone allowed the Eternal to gather her thoughts while admiring the waves crash against the shore before pulling away, a repetitive cycle. The melody of the waves as it made its way closer to the sand brought her some comfort, the sound of water itself mesmerized her, something so simple yet so beautiful that can be seen in different forms such as lakes, rivers, oceans, ponds and so forth. The eternal decided from then on that if she were to live her life the way Ajax suggested, that she would live next to the river so she would wake up to the sound of running water every single day for the rest of eternity.
Unlike Sersi and Ikaris who now have each other to spend the next thousand years with, she was content with being alone. What's the point of finding someone to spend your life with when you can’t spend it with the person you truly loved?
The last few days since the party led the Eternal to intentionally avoid her telepathic friend. She couldn’t bring herself to be near him whilst knowing his secret, the feelings that he had towards the speedster. She was happy for them of course, they were her closest friends and if they were in love she’d support it, she’d do anything to make the people she considered family happy.
She wanted to tell Druig what she overheard Ajax talking about, she thought it would be best if he knew Ajax’s encouragements towards Sersi and Ikaris and that if he made the move to Makkari then he’d receive nothing but support from the rest of the Eternals, including herself.
Everytime she saw Druig, the speedster was found closely behind, it felt wrong to mention Ajax’s words in front of Makkari in case Druig wanted to be alone when he confessed his feelings but the eternal couldn’t bring herself to pull him aside, to be standing with him knowing his heart belongs to another whilst her heart belonged to him.
It’s okay, she thought. No one would have to know about her feelings towards the telepath, she’ll just bury them so deep that she forgets about them. That’s what she’s good at, right? Her abilities are related to nature and gardening so she can bury this as well.
For the meantime she’ll just have to love him in secret.
She thought about her abilities, comparing it to the other Eternals abilities. Ikaris could fly, Sprite could conjure up projections, Druig could control minds and Makkari can run three times faster than the speed of sound according to the inventor himself, Phastos.
But what can she do? Conjure up flowers? How could that help when up against a deviant.
Ajax’s words continued to echo in her mind from the first time they arrived on earth. How the fate of the human race is in their hands yet creating flowers can do nothing to protect them from these creatures.
Due to all the self doubt she felt after the event and the conversation with Thena she knew who she had to talk to.
“I don’t feel like I’ll be of much use here, I cannot sit idle while the humans give me such titles I’m not worthy of.” She confessed, Ajax nodded in response to show that she was listening, encouraging the eternal to continue as her hand stroked her back, comforting her while she expressed her worries.
“I don’t think I’ve reached my potential, I’m not good enough to be a hero right now and I need to find myself but I don’t know how.” She disclosed to the eternal who sighed in response at the self deprecating words, wanting nothing more but to help her.
“When Arishem gifted us our abilities he gave no limit to what we can achieve with them.” Ajax began, gently stroking the Eternal’s hair as they sat in the Domo away from the other Eternals, the maternal gesture leading the Eternal to lean her head on Ajax’s shoulder allowing herself to be comforted.
“He told me it was important for us to stick together throughout our entire mission, to give a helping hand to humanity and help them advance as people.” Ajax paused.
“I’ve seen how you’ve reacted everytime the others had to defeat a deviant, how you yearned to be there beside them rather than stay here spectating.” She continued, looking around the Domo as she spoke.
“It pains me to see you like this, but I know that what you need is to help yourself before you can help others. Thena’s right my dear, you are capable of so much more than you know and It’s in your hands to become the person you are meant to become.” She finished, wiping the fallen tears on the cheeks of the shorter Eternal.
“Oh, none of that nonsense.” Ajax joked, her grin widening as the other Eternal managed to laugh.
“They won’t be mad?” She questioned, overwhelmed by the feeling of guilt from the idea of leaving her family.
“Why should they? It’s not like you’ll be gone forever, you need to learn more about your powers and who you are, this is no place for that.” Ajax declared, pointing to the desert that could be seen out of the window.
“But-“
“No buts. When we need you, we’ll know where you are. This isn’t a goodbye.” Ajax cut her off.
She nodded in response, taking Ajax’s advice into consideration and deciding to take a break from the life of an Eternal and to learn more about her powers. Hours later she found herself packing the things she owned and wanted to bring with her, at this point only one person knew that she was to leave in the evening to make her way to a place Ajax suggested she should stay at.
She decided to pack objects with a memory attached to it such as the things Phastos made for her and the objects Makkari managed to steal and gift to her and the gifts human’s gave to her in a way to show their appreciation for her.
She thought it was best if she left the items Druig gifted her but decided against that later on.
“What are you doing?” Sersi interrupts, holding Ikaris’ hand as she stands in the corridor. The Eternal paused, turning hesitantly with her belongings piled up in her arms.
“Nothing?” She questions which encouraged the two to make their way towards her, noticing most of her belongings were being wrapped up in cloth, almost as if she was-
“Are you leaving?” Ikaris asked in shock, grabbing the objects from her and keeping them hostage in his arms, she rolled her eyes when he refused to give them back until she explained what was going on
“I’m just going away for a little while.” She explained.
After answering all the questions the two had for her, she paused, noticing the different energy between the two, gasping in response. “You told her, didn’t you?” She exclaimed, looking at Ikaris who nodded, attempting to keep a stoic expression on his face. “He told me that you helped him with the whole thing, so I wanted to thank you in person.” Sersi claimed before abruptly embracing her in a hug causing a laugh to escape the other.
“I’d do anything to see the people I care about truly happy.” She confessed, smiling warmly at the two before they bid farewell, promising to not tell the others about her departure until after she left.
She glanced around one more time before leaving the Domo, she was hesitant about leaving without saying goodbye but Ajax was adamant on the fact that saying goodbye would make it seem permanent which it isn’t.
But she can't say she isn’t grateful that she didn’t have to be the one to tell Druig about her departure, she knew he’d be against her leaving. In her mind she was sure she was doing this for herself and for her to become a better Eternal but there was a voice in the back of her head claiming that she was running away from rejection, running away from seeing Druig continue to fall in love with one of her closest friends as she’d be forced to watch from the sideline.
She gave another glance around the Domo one more time before leaving, making her way to her new home.
“Congratulations, guys!” Kingo cheered after Sersi and Ikaris told them their news. All of the Eternals were full of joy at the news except for one. Kingo slyly nudged Sprite. “Aren’t you going to congratulate them?” He teased, causing the aim of her glare to be directed towards him.
“Wait, shouldn’t we all be here to celebrate this news?” Makkari questioned, the rest of the Eternals nodded in response.
All of the Eternals were in the room, except for one.
“Well, where is she then?” Druig asked, relieved that she and Ikaris didn’t have anything going on between them as he’d initially thought.
“She’s not going to be here for a while.” Ajax began to speak, causing the Eternals to suddenly speak over one another in confusion.
“What are you talking about?”
“Where is she?”
“What did you do now Ikaris?”
Ikaris shot Druig a glare for the last question, only to incite a laugh out of the telepath.
Ajax briefly explained that the missing Eternal is going away for space and on a journey of self discovery, wanting to respect the Eternal’s wishes of not telling the others the detailed reason of why she left as she didn’t want their pity or sympathy.
Makkari looked at Druig in concern, the telepath who previously planned to tell her how he felt towards her was frozen, to say he was mad would be an understatement.
He was infuriated.
Infuriated with her for avoiding him for the last week only to leave without saying anything.
Infuriated with Ajax for not telling the whole truth.
Infuriated with himself for not telling her everything he wished he could tell her soon enough.
But then the gear’s in his head began churning.
He glanced back at the new couple, before looking back at Ajax, she couldn’t have left because of this news, right?
Memories of the two at the gathering flickered through his mind as well as the recent memories of Ikaris and Sersi frequently seen with one another whilst you were nowhere to be seen.
He felt a twist in his heart as he realized what had happened and he too late to do anything to stop it.
If you can’t donate, reblog. Spread the word because this story isn’t the only one like this and it is disproportionately happening to POC.
Landlords have bills to pay as well, but they should be standing shoulder to shoulder with their tenets against the larger power. The banks are the problem and the government is backing them up instead of having the backs of the citizens that vote them into power.
Please help a homeless black trans couple on TDOV Covid-19 has us really fucked over: TW/ for death mention, eating disorder mention.
I don’t think things have gotten this desperate since we became homeless back in 2018. We’re still homeless and everything’s come to a grinding hault in our progress to get out of the shelter since NYC has been put on lockdown because of the pandemic. Most devastatingly, me and my partner have both lost the jobs that we were supposed to start this month due to the pandemic. We had gotten temporary positions as census takers that would’ve lasted us through the next 6months. As of right now, all the money that we receive from public assistance goes towards paying our necessary bills. To make matters worse, our shelter is now demanding 30% of our assistance be given back as a “ savings plan “ that we won’t see until 3 months after we leave the shelter.
We can’t see housing specialists or brokers for apartments let alone get in contact with the HRA to talk about our vouchers, the social workers at the shelter aren’t coming in anymore, and they’re no longer able to give us our weekly one roll ration of toilet paper. Thankfully we finally got a new microwave on our floor so we’re able to do more as of cooking, but we’re still limited to what can be cooked between a microwave and a small rice cooker with a dorm size mini fridge capacity for what we’re able to work with. The stress of our already turbulent living situation coupled together with the corona virus has taken a severe toll on both our mental and physical health as we’re both disabled. My partner has been struggling with Agoraphobia, asthma, anorexia, ptsd, depression, anxiety, and they’re autistic. I have ptsd depression anxiety and adhd. I’ve written extensively about our journey and struggle with seeking mental health treatment ( past the reblogs of my donations posts prior ) and the situation has only been exasperated by the pandemic. Our mental health providers, and primary care clinics have been closed and all our in person appointments have been switched to phone calls. We’re no longer able to pick up our meds in person and they have to be delivered to us since I’m unable to go to my nearest pharmacy to get them myself. I’m also uninsured, meaning I’m now paying out of pocket for my medications plus delivery. I’m in the process of seeing if there’s anything they can do to help accommodate me, but with the way corona has overwhelmed medical personnel across the U.S I’m not too hopeful.
On March 22nd and 24th my partner was sense to the ER twice for severe asthma attacks that nearly stopped their breathing. They also were displaying symptoms of COVID-19. They weren’t tested since they didn’t stay in critical condition for long. While in the first and longest visit they witnessed first hand the overwhelming affects of the virus in hospitals. The beds were doubled/ tripled up with bodies of people in different forms of critical condition. They were surrounded by people who tested positive and even witnessed an elderly man die from the virus. It was an extremely traumatic experience that lasted 6+ hrs. Trauma aside we’ve both been in close proximity to a friend who tested positive for Corona virus last week. We won’t be able to get tested since availability of tests in NYC are limited to those who are near death at this point. My partner is terrified since they have a compromised immune system and already suffer with respiratory problems that have only worsened due to weeks of malnutrition and dehydration. I’ve been completely overwhelmed trying to care for my partner as well as trying to stay safe myself and also being the only person capable of caring for our sick friend as well as my best friend @aaliyahbreaux who’s a black trans woman at risk of homelessness I’ve been assisting in her mover to NYC. I’ve had to break quarantine frequently to manage my loved ones and it’s been stressful expensive and near impossible.
I need as much help as I’m able to get but here’s a breakdown of expenses thus far
* Our storage unit bill for the next 2 months $148
* Our phone bill for the next 2 months $100
* the hospital bills us for my partner (will be updating with picture proof once I find it) $2800
* Transportation fare to my friend who has been cleared by our medical providers to give me and my partner our bi-weekly T shots for the next 2 months while the clinic is closed. $240 ( each trip is 30$ back and forth and I’ll need 8?trips in total )
* A new fan for our room in the shelter ( ours was stolen ) 70$
