Stronger Than Pain

CRPS/RSD, chronic pain advocacy, awareness, clinical trials, pain policy and poetry.

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When God Spoke- I Heard Him Clearly!

This has been an overwhelming week. Tears, emotional pain, fear, worry and uncertainty. These have been hard years in health and hardship. No one knows what its all entailed. A few people have known pieces and parts. Some of it is overflow from a decade ago, some is new or ongoing, and others are sudden crisis situations. Some I saw coming, attempted to prevent or minimize damage to but couldn’t…

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Chronic Pain and Crisis

I woke up at 3:00 a.m. out of my sleep with a panic attack. Its 4:30 a.m. now. I’ve been trying to steady my emotions while snapping to it to do as much as I can physically since a major home disaster occurred 2 daya ago. An act of God, some may call it. I was already in a flare a couple of weeks back when I halted use of Kratom tea for a week. That flare caused a more than moderate spinal…

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Kratom and 7OH

Laid up with so much to do. I’ve been able to manage pain enough to keep myself stable, most days. I utilize both Kratom and 7OH. Kratom tea has been a daily modality for nearly 7 years aside from a couple 1-3 day pauses in consumption. Kratom, while a life preserver isn’t always sufficient for the intensities of pain as a result of multiple illnesses, injuries and disorders. In March of…

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Celebrating 57

Its been a wonderful birthday week. Last Saturday, my husband and I met up with our son, his beautiful wife, and our precious grandchildren Ezekiel, Greyson, and Liliana to attend a non profit benefit. The organization- Project Ride has several fundraising benefits annually, but I’d asked to go to the Spaghetti Feed, a few months back, as an early birthday gift of family time. I wish my…

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Chronic Pain and Movement

Chronic intractable pain can be challenging. At summers end of 2021, I put my whole heart and mind into what I coined Music Movement Therapy. I consumed low carbs which supported my mission to reduce weight, and hopefully help me feel better, minimize inflammation, and promote an overall sense of well being. I maintained weightloss into 2023, but with a major flare, constant swelling,, old…

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Kratom Gals 2.0

Come join us each Saturday at 2:00 p.m. EST on The Kratom Gals 2.0 Live on YouTube. Madalyn Sklar, host of The Kratom Stories Podcast and Kratom Real Talk with the Gals- Venus, Amanda, Stephanie, and I. Special guests appear regularly. Tomorrow’s Episode (June 21, 2025) I join the Livestream during the second hour. We all utilize Kratom to manage chronic pain, chronic illnesses and mental…

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When I Say I don't Want To Talk About It

When I say, I don’t want to talk about it, what I really mean is I don’t want to dwell on it or revive visceral emotions. I refrain from extra sadness on my heart. Its become a habit of sort to halt certain conversations as they begin. I get in a lalala mode in my head immediately and I don’t do well to proceed answering certain questions especially in regard to family matters. I’m not…

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Kratom Testimonial

Please support product safety regulations and the Kratom Consumer Protection Act instead of banning and criminalizing Kratom. 2016 was my rise and fall. I was at the height of my volunteer advocacy career. I had also fallen to rock bottom when my prescribed medications were denied or delayed on a regular basis by my workers compensation carrier. I had been with my Pain Management Doctor for 12…

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CRPS - A Balancing Act

CRPS – A Balancing Act

It’s NERVEmber! November is Nerve pain awareness and Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Complex Regional Pain Syndrome Awareness month. I attended the iPain Summit yesterday which was streaming live from their Facebook page- https://www.facebook.com/iPainFoundation https://internationalpain.org/ I enjoyed. Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary to my husband’s 3rd heart attack, the 4th was 11 months…

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Forward in Faith

These months have anniversary affects attached for me and so managing depression can be a little harder than other times of the year. Everything from unborn children loss to my husband’s several heart attacks to leaving advocacy, abandoned by my pain management specialist, denied care, suicide holds, death, so much more. I just pray that nothing else happens as I move through the seasons. I’m…

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Simply Stable

It remains difficult to manage life with so many illnesses. It does! I often refer to myself as “stable”. It’s the best term I have to describe “not suicidal.” Stable is a good thing! Even when the struggle is heavy. Yes, indeed, its a good thing. Few people can relate to physical pain so intense that you lose your mind. Most can only relate to their own level of severe and thats perfectly…

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Made it to Georgia for Mama

My dad had just died a couple of weeks before. He passed away at home on Memorial Day. My mama was critical in ICU again, and not expected to make it. I hadn’t been able to reach Dad in time, nor attend his funeral. My Auntie, who was also my God Mother, was both holding on and passing away at the same time. My brother in law sent me a ticket that would leave Sacramento June 28th, 2022. I had…

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Father's Day - 2 Daddy's in Heaven

Father’s Day – 2 Daddy’s in Heaven

My Dad passed away at home on Memorial Day. It seemed fitting, as many said, for a Vietnam Hero and wounded warrior. When I wrote last he had just been diagnosed with cancer during a 9 day hospital stay. 2 days before Mother’s Day he was taken back for a mild heart attack. On Mother’s Day, my mom who was at the hospital with him had a severe heart attack and was rushed to the cath lab…

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Heartache and Happiness

In just the last few weeks both my auntie, who’s also my God Mother, and my Dad, my second dad, has been diagnosed with cancer. My aunts came quickly. Confirmation that is. Metastasized full body. Seemingly quickly, I should say, it’s been there spreading to get to stage 4 like this. Doctors dismissed her complaints as whining. She’s on hospice at this time, and is declining rapidly. We just…

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Former smoker

There’s hardly anything left to change about myself anymore. Evolve is all thats left. About 6 weeks ago, I decided it was time to stop smoking. I know, I know, bad habit. I had ceased smoking for over a year about a decade ago, and again for more than half a year in the same few years. I used Chantix, yet that wasn’t an option this time. If I could get through the last 6 years without…

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Binaural Beats for Pain, Stress, Anxiety, and Depression

It can be difficult to manage stress and anxiety with chronic and intractable illnesses. I’ve been practicing stress reduction for decades now, yet I’ve not mastered it, entirely. Medication, deep breathing, shifting focus, distraction, so much more. I’ve done well to keep myself from any type of mental breakdowns since the major ones that had occurred. It’s a constant challenge to stay on top…

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Cat's Claw | uña de gato

Cat’s Claw | uña de gato

I previously mentioned Cat’s Claw. This is a starting point which may be of interest to you. In regards to my CRPS and other chronic illnesses, I’ve found that Cat’s Claw offers a wide array of benefits. Some of the information claims cures, I’ll not claim a cure because it’s offensive to some who’ve been deemed and diagnosed incurable by western medicine. To me, incurable implies the medical…

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