redemption

writer. toronto, canada. prose // science fun facts // instagram // twitter // wordpress

[rsvnr]

Are you guys still here?

[rsvnr]

“It is very easy in the world to live by the opinion of the world. It is very easy in solitude to be self-centered. But the finished man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

[rsvnr]

It must be easier to care for no one.

[rsvnr]

It hurts until it doesn't.

[rsvnr]

How do I get rid of this feeling that sooner or later people are going to leave me and move on to someone better than me?

[rsvnr]

How do I stop from feeling anything?

[rsvnr]

I'm here posting at 1am like I don't have work in the morning but anyways I should sleep.

[rsvnr]

I hope someday you’ll never feel like you’re not loved.

[rsvnr]

I posted something and it didn't go through so I wrote it again and it didn't go through again. Maybe that's a sign.

[rsvnr]

Over the years, I've kinda accepted that I'll just be that temporary person that comes in people's lives and be a good friend or something like that until they move on and do better things. We'll drift apart and I won't be needed anymore.

I'm okay with that.

[rsvnr]

I keep coming back here because I need space to write emo stuff and Twitter is so public.

[rsvnr]

Do you ever just feel like you’re not the type of person that people fight for to be a part of their lives?

[rsvnr]

Hummingbirds.

[rsvnr]

Follow me on Twitter though. I'm more active on there.

[rsvnr]

I used to say that I like being alone, which I still do. It's just easier to be alone. Then as I got older, it became comfortable. I've learned to live with it. But there's this ache, this tiny, what-if thought that's always there. And now? I'm realizing that I just lived with it, and I didn't really like it.

[rsvnr]

Came to a realization today that no matter how many times I go to the gym, I can't fix my face.

[rsvnr]

I don't know, I'm supposed to be with someone and yet I don't feel like I'm loved. I don't know if my expectations are too much or this is just not enough for me.