Finally, after centuries of membership, a human starship was selected to be added to the Museum of Galactic Interest.
Items of all types from sapients across the galaxy were collected here, preserved and displayed for all to see. Things from some of the earliest sapient races known all the way to the current day, items spanning tens of thousands of solar years. It was so large that the "museum" was actually a hollowed out asteroid, complete with artificial lighting, gravity and air.
Ever since they heard about it, the humans wanted some of their stuff added to the museum. They petitioned the Acquisitions Team yearly with a long list of things they were willing to donate to the museum only to be told that it would need to be something more "notable" something "more relevant to the galaxy at large."
Finally, after much soul searching the humans offered the one thing they felt was sure to be accepted: The starship that was used for First Contact.
It was known as The Extraterrestrial Authority Frigate Now You Don't. The polity that owned the ship has been gone nearly as long as the ship, and as far as anyone can tell, the name is part of an ancient idiom.
By the time it was accepted to the museum, the ship was already well over two millennia old, being displayed at a human museum, toured daily by thousands of people.
Curator Vzz'kin and Docent Senimar stood looking out at the empty space that would eventually hold Don't. Minister Victoria Orbitan was there representing humanity; today was delivery day. This section of the museum was closed today for their visit, much to to dismay of the three school trips who had planned on seeing the delivery.
"You have had this on display in your own museums for millennia by now. Surely you must be pleased that this relic will be moving elsewhere." Curator Vzz'kin said, their voice buzzy from their tympanum. Vicky was told you had to have a knack to understand the speech of the Caelifera, but she didn't have much problem with it after the first few minutes. It was like getting used to an accent.
"To be perfectly honest Curator, I hate it. This ship represents the greatest thing to have happened to humanity since we became human. It belongs with us." She turned towards Vzz'kin sharply and they flinched. Caelifera were skittish at the best of times, and large mammals frightened very old parts of their brain. "Also while it may be a relic, it's hardly obsolete."
"Very droll Minister, ha. ha. ha." Docent Senimar didn't... exactly laugh - their lungs and vocalizer weren't really capable of that - but the meaning was clear enough. "The ship had been hanging in a museum for the better part of two millennia. Even the bioships of The Swarm don't live that long." He gesured out to the empty slip where the Don't would reside. "It's symbolic. A statue."
Vicky looked at both of them for a long time, her feet shoulder length apart, her head tilted downward slightly, her mouth thin, pressed tight with... politics. Senimar stopped his staccato laughing and his vocalizer squealed softly. "I apologize. I did not realize you were serious."
"This is simply human bravado, Senimar. It is quite impossible that their ship is even tight to atmosphere, let alone able to traverse the stars."Vzz'kin buzzed and their forelegs clicked once for emphasis. "No, we have sent the-" His eyestalks flicked to Vicky and back "-small transport to go and collect it. Once it arrives later today, we will begin our own preservation and restoration efforts and it will be displayed here among the other minor species."
Here being near the back of the Outer Ring Civilization section. The other races that were galactic neighbors of humanity had a few items on display here. The whole section was rather sparse and what few plaques on display were... terse.
A small comm behind Vicky's ear buzzed and, as she touched it, her eyes lost focus as she concentrated on the message. Nodding once, she opened her bag and took out three noise cancelers. Placing one over her ears, she handed the others to Vzz'kin and Senimar.
"What is this?" Vzz'kin said, taking the canceler as if it would sting him. "This technology is useless for my tympanum. Why would I need a noise canceler anyway?"
"It uses a suppression field Curator, they only go over my ears because of tradition." Vicky said, and showed them how to activate it. "As for why you need it, you shall find out shortly."
Senimar did not need to be shown how to activate his, and after a moment they were both wearing them and looking curiously at Vicky. Checking a timepiece on her wrist - mechanical Senimar noted to himself - she was mouthing something.
"aaaand, 3, 2, 1." She raised her hand palm flat straight up.
Even with the suppression field on full, the noise was impressive. There was a flash that was purple white, ringed in black. Accompanying the flash was a sound like a thunderclap that continued on much longer than one expected. The blinding light went out and Now You Don't hovered a few kilometers away from the slip, running lights blazing.
"What have you done, human." Vzz'kin shouted, their tympanum buzzing loudly enough that Vicky was thankful she still had her sound suppression field on.
"We decided to not wait for your insulting transport, and brought Now You Don't here ourselves." She said, and crossed her arms. "Museum piece or not, our ships are always ready."
Just as she said that, two guard drones approached Don't and immediately fired upon it. They drones contained minimal less-than-lethal weaponry, meant to disable rogue transit pods, or other things rowdy sapients brought to the museum, but the drones weren't very smart. Before they could get a second volley, Don't's forward batteries vaporized them, the energy blasts like whip-cracks in the atmosphere.
"It's armed??" Vzz'kin wailed. "Why is it armed? It's from a museum, it shouldn't even be flying. How did it even get in here?"
"I was transmitting my coordinates while we were talking." Vicky admitted. "We could have done it without that, but we decided that pinpoint accuracy was necessary."
While Vzz'kin was sputtering and trying to come to terms with what the human ship just did, Senimar's pad jingled insistently. He opened it and Vicky could have sworn his chrome dulled. "Curator." He said while Vzz'kin fumed.
"Unacceptable! I will personally see that you will ne-"
"What? Yes, Docent Senimar? What is it now?"
"Several million starships have transited and are station-keeping around the museum." He turned his pad to show them.
"Preposterous, how would several mill-" They were interrupted by a blast of static heard throughout the entire museum.
"Hello?" Another crackle of static. "Blast, is this thing on?" The voice reverberated across the museum, just this side of painfully loud. "We need to come up with a way to show the audio override is working. Yes, I see it now, thank you Lieutenant. Good Day, This is Commandant Fitzroy of the Human Expeditionary Force. We have decided to offer a small escort of Now You Don't to her new home here at the Museum of Galactic Interest. We trust that you will take excellent care of her, and treat her as we would. As such, we will be stationing a small fleet here for a few weeks while the training is underway."
"Training?" Vzz'kin said weakly. A microphone somewhere must have heard them, because the Commandant answered.
"Yes. It would be... uncouth of us to give you one of our most important ships and not tell you how to maintain it! Why, who knows what would happen. After a few centuries the seals might start leaking. No, that will not do. They will be coming aboard immediately, please make sure appropriate lodging has been secured for them. Fitzroy out."
"Are you responsible for this?" Vzz'kin said, gesturing angrily at Vicky. "You yourself said you didn't like the idea."
"No Curator, I said I hated the idea. I still do." Vicky said, and carefully took off her suppressor, folding it delicately and placing it back in her bag. "But since the decision was not mine, I simply championed the idea that Now You Don't should get a proper sendoff and to make sure that your skilled team of preservers know how to properly handle a human starship."
"How to properly-" Vzz'kin sputtered again "The unmitigated gall to- aaargh." Their tympanum buzzed angrily again and they stomped off.
Senimar stood at the slip, watching Now You Don't float above, the howl of her thrusters just barely audible in the atmosphere of the museum. He turned to Vicky, "I for one haven't had this much fun in years. I think your ship will be quite popular here. Thank you for your generous donation.
