I COULD NEVER WANT ANYONE BUT YOU.
It was, in itself, a ridiculous wish to think that perhaps nothing would change. Time was a trying enemy, tougher than any hellion or dragon, that took whatever it pleased eventually, had its way with the world when it went hand-in-hand with nature, and it had been a foolish desire to ever think that it would not, in some ways, have its way with himself as well. I don’t want to change, how futile it seemed now, I want to stay the same, so when Sorey wakes up, it’ll be like nothing ever happened.
IF THAT WAS THE CASE, SHOULDN’T YOU HAVE JUST STAYED IN CAMLANN?
Funny thought, that one. A double-edged sword, one laced with the blunt side of reality and a figment of a parallel universe he had almost considered committing to instead. His hold let go, letting the entirety of his weight rest between the arms supporting him———if he’d chosen that fate, he would have gone against his beloved’s wishes, he couldn’t have supported all the efforts required of the fledgling Shepherd on this side to ensure that this day would one day see its dawn———and reached about his waist, running his fingers along the cord that laid along it.
“You’re so oblivious.” Undoing the cable took some time as the pads of his fingers worked at it, and he huffed irritably (in a way so classically and utterly him to do) as it continued to give him difficulties. Biting his lip, it finally began to give way, as heaven’s above knew the last time he’d tied it, and he felt stable on his own two feet to continue. “It was hard at times, sure. I was lonely, but I kept living a life I wanted to because I knew if I didn’t, you’d wake up and yell at me for wasting centuries. I was alone, but I wasn’t alone.”
YOU CAN’T JUST LIVE IN THE PAST, AFTER ALL.
Lifting that tan feather that had been near connected to his hip for the last however long up where it would no doubt catch the other’s sight, he scoffed again, to the point of emphasizing how little he wanted to make of those years. They had happened; there were no refunds in time’s domain. But because they had, the continent had since stopped producing the numerous hellions that had been a problem prior to that; the world was experiencing a revitalization that had spanned far longer than any Shepherd prior could be held accountable for, and that was no thing to wish away over this. “I carried you wherever I went. I heard your voice. I’d find you in everything I saw—so don’t apologize to me for your choice. I knew what it meant when you told me.”
He had seen it before, the feather. It was one of the first things that had reached his attention once he shouldered past the fact that he was looking at his love once more. Chest had constricted and heart had skipped a beat and he had not mentioned it, yet there it was. Near identical to the ones which he wore, had always worn, and it was a sign for certain. A silent confession that they had long known, that had been verbalized minutes ago. Perhaps a vow, though that he did not know and did not wish to inquire over. For a moment he wanted to touch it, to trace along its edges with his index finger, to twine the cord around his thumb, but he did not. After all, that would require relinquishing his grip on the other.
Former Shepherd had not feared being forgotten by his beloved ( not except in the most vague and shapeless way -- that is to say, the thought had flitted across his mind but he paid it no attention ) but the mere physical proof of remembrance was near enough to bring him to his knees. Maybe it should not have meant to much to him, the token, but it meant the entire universe to him in that moment. He was unspeakably relieved that Mikleo had lived his life in those centuries, had continued onward and had not been alone, and in that moment the relief overshadowed the sadness that he felt over it, too. ( After all, that sadness was nothing in comparison to the distress and frustration he would have felt if Mikleo had stopped living. )
“I love you,” he said, because there was nothing else he could think to say, because there was nothing else he wanted to say. His love was an unquestionable truth of the universe. There was nothing that he could do about the time that had passed, about the years that he had missed, that they had missed. Nothing would change it, but they had the present, and the future, and he knew that he would do everything in his power to ensure that Mikleo never felt lonely ever again.
Arms shifted once more and slid and palms curved about the angle of his jaw, fingers teased at the roots of hair that laid just behind his ear. Thumbs brushed at soft cheeks once and Sorey smiled a gentle smile, a smile which encompassed every last shred of love he felt for this man. I’ll make sure you never feel lonely again, he thought to say. Thank you, he imagined himself uttering. “If you’re going to keep the feather, though, I’m going to have to think of something that reminds me of you to carry around. It sounds like a nice thought, doesn’t it?”
