moved.

[rulebent-a]

soft drop for my new blog here <33

[rulebent-a]

soft drop for my new blog here <33

[rulebent-a]

[   BENTRULE   ]

         his mind briefly wanders to malia at the mention of love,      still unsure whether it was genuine love he felt or a distraction from the chaos going on around him.         the way she mentions her ex-boyfriend makes him feel understudied in the subject,      like he missed a chapter of the textbook that’s heavily featured in the questions on the exam.      he was malia’s anchor as a coyote turned human,      is it possible that she was his too?         he had undoubtedly cared for her,   only able to fall asleep when she inevitably climbed through the window to hold him,      reluctantly at first,      in her arms.         of course,      it could easily have been the result of uncertainties surrounding him,      wanting one stable thing to hold onto to keep his feet on solid ground.

         stiles is no stranger to witnessing people hating what they are.         he’s done it himself several times when he looks into the mirror and sees nothing but a human.         he’s nothing compared to the people in beacon hills that were able to keep the town afloat,      nothing like scott.         but even scott was reluctant to accept the cards he had been dealt,      the memory of him desperately searching for   a cure   still clear in his mind.         stiles didn’t understand it at the time when all he saw was cool powers,      he didn’t even come close to comprehending the responsibilities that came with it.            ❝      but you don’t feel like that?      ❞            tone resembles curiosity more than interrogation,      head tilted animatedly to the side.            ❝      you’ve never wished you were something different?         why did he?      ❞            sympathy wracks over him at the devastating thought of being with someone who was so self-deprecating that they couldn’t even accept you.            ❝      and to lighten the mood,      i’ll throw in the burning question of the hour      ―      no pun intended.         garlic      ―      is that a thing?         what about burning in the sunlight?         silver?      ❞

@rulebent·

[      THE  QUESTIONS  FLOW  QUICKLY  FROM  THE  OTHER’S  MOUTH ,      ]            but they have no trouble understanding his ramblings ,      head tilts to the side as fingers toy with the delicate cotton of their shirt and shoulders shrug .                        “      i’ve always been proud of my identity ,      even if others hated me for it .      I  KNOW  WHO  I  AM ,      and immortality hasn’t changed that            ------------            if anything ,      it’s made me far more stubborn that i used to be .      ”                        bitter - sweet memories are reflected by nothing more than the half - grimace            (   half - smile   )            that slowly spreads upon perfect visage ,      gaze drops from the human’s features before studying the tiles of the space between them now .      they hadn’t thought much about their last relationship before now ,      had      PURPOSEFULLY  AVOIDED      all questions about edward and her past in an attempt to guard their own heart ;            they’re not sure why the answers flow so freely around stiles ,      why it’s so easy to respond to his questions without the      guilt  &&.  sadness      tightening in her chest .                        “      edward …      his case is a sad mixture of religious bigotry and survivor’s guilt            ------------            THE  KIND  OF  IDENTITY  CRISIS  THAT  HAS  LASTED  WELL  OVER  A  CENTURY .      i suppose i’m lucky to have been born into a far more …      liberal      time period .      ”                        part of them had pitied edward’s own self - depreciation ,      had pitied the man that he’d become            (   so angry at himself for existing ,      so pained by the things he had lived through   ) .

the statement momentarily takes them aback ,      and their expression becomes far more genuine momentarily as smile widens .                        “      silver is nothing more than another myth ,      and garlic is nothing more than      A  TASTY  ADDITION  TO  A  HUMAN  MEAL .      but i can’t eat human food whatsoever without some kind of witchcraft            ------------            figured that shit out the hard way ,      and it took me damn near a decade to be able to eat a cheeseburger …      the worst ten years of my life .      ”                        nose wrinkles in thought as head tilts to the side ,      gaze studies stiles momentarily as she weighs the weight of his questions ;            THEY  DON’T  KNOW  HIM  ALL  TOO  WELL ,      but all of their answers could lead to their      untimely  demise      when in the wrong hands .      they lean backwards against the counter before heavy sigh escapes her lips .                        “      we have our weaknesses ,      if that’s what you’re really asking about .      sunlight affects some but not others ,      and we have our own equivalent of      WOLFSBANE .      ”

[virusinfected-memes]

TIK TOK SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 3 ;

50 starters. CW: alcohol, cussing, sexual themes. Some starters are just random quotes from Tik Tok creators, some starters are from Tik Tok trends that have popped up over the past year or so. The original sources of these trends are from various memes, shows, songs, and other popular media. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed! [PARTS: 1 - 2]

“Guess who’s terrible at processing emotions? This guy!”

“If I have to gain any more character development in 2022, I think it will be the start of my villain origin story.”

“Did you get enough love, my little dove? Why do you cry?”

“What happened to us? We used to be best friends.”

“I’m so tired of shonen. Please release yourself from the shackles of shonen anime.”

“Honestly? We’re about to get colonized by aliens, so what can we do? Count your days. Count your fucking days, human beings, ‘cause as soon as the aliens drop, I’m gonna be an alien’s whore. I have no loyalty to the human race.”

“I wish that I never met you. Everything else is horrible by comparison.”

“I know my girlfriend is a witch.”

“It’s gross stuff, but it tastes good when you put it all together.”

“Is it me? Am I the drama?”

“Dear God, why is it so thick?”

“ ‘Spuddle’ is a seventeenth century word that means to feel extremely busy while achieving absolutely nothing.”

“This relationship isn’t healthy… I think we need to go on a steady diet.”

“Like, I’ve never wanted to be thrown across a room before, but… I feel things right now that I’ve never felt before.”

“Beans on toast does not look attractive. You know what? Let’s look up some beans on toast.”

“I have alcohol. I don’t have feelings.”

“Y’all wanna be edgy so bad.”

“All my life, I had to fight with no ass.”

“The Lord knows our hearts, okay? If the Lord didn’t want me to play, he shouldn’t have made me foolish. The Lord knew what they were doing when they made me. Shit! How the Lord gonna make me a fool and then don’t want me to play around? Like, make it make sense. It don’t.”

“This is great. Just the three of us. You, me, and this brick wall you built.”

“Are you falling in love? I have a feeling you are.”

“I know something you don’t. I know something you will never know.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve talked, but I missed you, you idiot.”

“The eyeliner might be poppin’, but the mental health be droppin’.”

“Anything that happens to you past midnight is between you and your god.”

“You know it’s not the same as it was.”

“Do you think you’re better off alone?”

“If I only could, I’d make a deal with God, and I’d get him to swap our places.”

“Dream when you’re feelin’ blue.”

“I don’t make my Sims woohoo. They be fuckin’.”

“I was gonna say something, but I said I was gonna be nice today.”

“Why don’t we go somewhere only we know?”

“When I was thirteen, me and my best friend had imaginary anime boyfriends.”

“I miss how Halloween used to be.”

“He’s my best friend, he’s my pal, he’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He’s my sweet cheese. My good time boy.”

“_____, wake up! I don’t like this!”

“If you wanna stop me, you’re gonna have to fuckin’ kill me!”

“Okay, but that’s not the point.”

“Open up the door. I only wanna play a little more.”

“Don’t you ever be wasting your good energy.”

“What’s it like being ugly and sad?”

“And nothing can go wrong… OH, NOO! IT ALL WENT WRONG!”

“My money don’t jingle, jingle. It folds.”

“Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t wanna think anymore.”

“Is your middle name cheddar cheese? ‘Cause you’re looking extra sharp today.”

“The CDC just called and they told me your smile is super contagious.”

“That’s suspicious… That’s weird.”

“I do not have time for this! I don’t have time for you!”

“Who the hell’s still an Elvis stan in the year of 2022? Go to therapy. Get help.”

“That’s so cute! Are you shitting me? Capitalism really popped off today.”

[becauseofthebowties]

2.21 - All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One

[rulebent-a]

[   C0BWEBS   ]

“  do you have  someone to ʷᵃˡᵏ ʰᵒᵐᵉ with ?   do you want ˢᵒᵐᵉᵒᶰᵉ ?   it’s getting late  .   ”   /    𝙲𝙰𝙻𝙻   ﹙ @rulebent· /  ᵍʷᵉᶰ﹚   ♫

[      THE  MASKED  VISAGE  IS  ONE  THAT  SHE’D  SEEN  ALL  OVER  THE  DAILY  BUGLE ,      ]            the masked menace of new york city ,      the spider maniac who left a web of destruction in his wake .      but gwen knew that he was nothing more than a kid in over his own head ,      someone unfortunate enough to find themselves on the wrong side of the media ;            PART  OF  HER  PITIED  THE  PERSON  HIDDEN  BEHIND  THE  MASK ,      the man who had to bear the weight of it all .      fingers adjust the paperwork grasped within her arms            (   design sketches for her biochemical internship at stark industries ,      something she’d been lucky enough to land as a freshman at nyu   )            before gaze is raised to the web slinger .

“      maybe  someone  outta  ask  you  the  same  question ,      spider-man .      i’ve heard that the these streets haven’t been all too friendly to you lately ...      the bugle made sure of that .      ”                        there’s a gentle shrug of her shoulders before gaze finds its way back down the empty alley .                        “      I  CAN  HANDLE  MYSELF .      i’ve had more than enough practice in this city .      ”

[rulebent-a]

[   CONSIGLEIRE   ]

the spice dancing over the tip of his tongue is nothing compared to the prolonged attack of jjampong         —           he could feel the cold sweat creeping on the surface of his skin the longer he thought about it.    the quiet whirring of the snack bar is enough to function as white noise,   to fill the gap of words in his mind,   save for that loud glare of his burning into her.         “  you always do this.    why don’t you order your own plate ?  ”         left eye twitches,   digits curling and uncurling over the utensil playing victim to his grip.        “  was it not clearer i was just an inconspicuous italian ?  ”         back leans against his chair,   head tilting to the side as he gives up completely in trying to obtain his own food          —         the ends of brims curve up the slightest.    it’s almost missed.          “  it’s confirmation bias.    you see it in retrospect.  ”

[      NOT - SO - SUBTLE  EYE  ROLL  AS  SHE  TAKES  ANOTHER  BITE ,      ]            grin only widens as toothpick is wildly gestured in his general direction .                        “      that kind of talk might trick the other members of geumga plaza ,      BUT  I’M  NO  FOOL .      ”                        there’s conviction in voice as gaze remains fixated on the other ,      as she utilizes her years of hardwork to try and determine vincenzo’s tell            (   an  impossible  feat ,      no doubt ,      any and all weaknesses hardened over the years he’d spent killing for the mafia   ) .

“      the tteobokki is good ,      but it’s always more delicious when it’s your plate .      ”                        tongue sticks out in his direction before heavy sigh escapes her lips .                        “      you know ,      we still have to figure out who the owner of babel is …      IT’S  CERTAINLY  NOT  THE  IDIOT  THAT  YOU   MET  AT  THE  GYM .      perhaps your mafia skills can come in handy .      ”

[legaciesdaily]

a gifset of our girl maya (requested by anon)

[rulebent-a]

[   ARACHNIST   ]·

man,   she’s cute even when she’s dripping with icecream.     all of his affection is focused into one look,    lips involuntarily curling into a smile as he regards the offered cone.   after a moment he finally takes it,   yet doesn’t move to eat it as he simply continues to soak in the mere image of her.    oh,   how he missed this.    missed her.     “ oh,   th   —   that so,   huh? “    he laughs,    and finally takes a few licks at his own scoop.    “ i dunno.   i remember hearin’ somewhere that y’ wanted t’ live in a chocolate house.    y’ sure y’ didn’t jus’ get it for yourself? “

“ what,   y’ really not gonna share with me?   i,   like,   introduced you  to  moose tracks.   y’ wouldn’t even know it existed without me! “   and just like that,   A RULE IS BROKEN : cue big brown doe eyes.

[      EYES  ROLL  IN  THEIR  SOCKETS  AT  THE  COMMENT ,      ]            sassy remark is stifled only by another bite of the ice cream cone ,      gentle groan escapes her lips as the creamy texture floods her senses .      there’s a gentle nod of her head ,      as if she’s in agreeance with the sweet nodes of the ice cream ;            rather than respond ,      she takes another bite and shrugs her shoulders .                        “      maybe …      just maybe …      it was an excuse to try your favourite flavour .      and i must say …      THE  TRACKS  DID  NOT  LET  ME  DOWN .      ”

“      don’t act all high and mighty ,      parker .      moose tracks existed long before you came into my life            ------------      I’M  SURE  I  WOULD’VE  FOUND  IT  EVENTUALLY .      i mean ,      c’mon …      peanut butter and chocolate can never go wrong .      ”                        the words are followed by an elbow dig before cone is extended in his direction momentarily ,      only to be snatched back as soon as he makes any attempt at reaching for it .                        “      don’t be late next time ,      and      MAYBE      you’ll get first dibs .      ”

[pullsaway]

HIATUS  NOTICE

i haven’t been super active lately because of my summer classes & my move,   but due to my study abroad program,   i will likely be ENTIRELY inactive from july 20th - august 7th.   i will try to make sure that my queue is stocked for this time (no promises) so that my blog doesn’t seem entirely desolate,   but i will try not to log on AT ALL during those three weeks to ensure that i’m keeping up with my course load.   i will still be reachable on discord during this time,   so mutuals can feel free to ask for that information,   but response time will be significantly longer than it is currently <33

[rulebent-a]

[   FIREBOLTZ   ]

they have lost themselves to the gloom and he isn’t sure it’s because of the hocrux…   but this misery feels necessary   [   it plucks at his heart and leaves him empty:     he has denied himself the pleasure of truly feeling for so long   –   he has forgotten the importance of heart,  of joy,  of crying,   of relishing…   he needed to spend more time actually dealing with his emotions   ].     but all of that seemed so unimportant now.     there was no time to focus on himself when he had the weight of the world pressing down against his shoulders.   maybe it was one of those things he should have dealt with earlier.    he chokes on all the unswallowed opportunities.    this world had welcomed him in as a prodigal son and expected that he would one day become its martyr.    he should have felt the knife against his neck.   but when someone offers you hope,   you don’t look to see what the other hand is holding:    he had not been raised to be suspicious.    he had barely been raised at all.    he wonders when the war had begun,  really   [   he thinks it had been in him since he was a child and there was no way to carve it out,  no way to remove that little violence from him   –   what was he without a war?   ].

‘      i’m not that bad at following rules…      maybe i’m not as good at it as you are,  but no one is.    you should write a rule book on following rules.    though,   i probably wouldn’t read it,   and you probably wouldn’t want to share your important secrets.       ’       he had loved the freedom that hogwarts had given him.    even as the danger crowded around his shoulders,  death becoming more and more real with every passing year,    he never felt as if he was being leashed.    perhaps he had been so consumed with the thrill of escaping the dursleys that he had thrown himself into too much unnecessary danger:   still,   he can’t find it in him to regret that.    he tries not to imagine what his life would look like after the war.   it feels like pressing a ripe wound,   ripping apart his heart for things that wouldn’t happen.   still,   maybe he could have gotten an office.    maybe he’d have a few people beneath him to boss around.   but,  most of all,   he would like making a change.   not a change that required his life,   not a change that required children to fight in a war that had little to do with them.   small,  everyday changes.    it is almost funny that he wishes to be apart of something less drastic.   do people not long for greatness?   only those that have never tasted it.     it is poison by any other name.        ‘      alright,   i would have hated it.   but i think i should have been allowed to figure that out.   i think we should have…     i think we should have gotten more than this.      ’

he is speaking like they’re already dead…     he doesn’t know how to stop thinking about his own corpse.       ‘      i think you’re capable of the impossible now.   i think you’ve always been capable of it.      ’        his hand rises a little to brush his knuckles against her cheek.   a light,  soft sort of touch that is meant only to bring them closer together.    he can’t help himself.       ‘      let’s not talk about working hard.   i can barely think anymore.   let’s do something that will make us happy.       ’

[      ··SHE  IGNORES  THE  WAY  HER  STOMACH  TWISTS  AND  DROPS ,      ]            the way that breathing hitches as they grow endlessly closer ;            she’d always been in the palm of his hand ,      had always been at his mercy ,      but it had always been hidden beneath a pressing need            (   whether it be classes ,      or the looming threat of the war that would inevitably rip their childhoods away from them ,      the endless battles that would take away everything that they’d ever cared about   ) .            now ,      with  no  guarantees  of  tomorrow ,      the truth was beginning to unfold before their very eyes ,      just barely hidden in the shadows of their shared tent .      THE  MOUNTAIN  DEW  CLINGS  TO  THE  OUTSKIRTS  OF  THEIR  TENT ,      and hermione finds herself wondering just how much time has passed since ron had journeyed on his lonesome ,      whether he’d returned to an empty home ,      or if he’d miraculously been able to find his family amongst the chaos ;            the bitterness swells in her throat ,      POISON  WHISPERED  INTO  EAR  BY  THE  MEDALLION  IMPRINTED  UPON  HER  CHEST ,      angry thoughts stifled only by the gentle caress of her cheek ,      by the warmth of harry’s hand and the dew of his breath .      at least she was no longer stuck on the metaphorical porch of her house ,      waiting for the return of a life that had never truly been hers            (   a childhood where the magic still held its charm ,      a life where she’d found true acceptance in the world of the mystical arts   ) ,            waiting for the return the people who had never truly cared for her in the first place .                        “      you have too much faith in me ,      harry .      ”

there were quiet beats in the silence between the two of them ,      and hermione can’t tell if it’s the sound of her own heartbeat or harry’s ;            he’d always been the one that she couldn’t do without ,      SHE  WOULD’VE  FALLEN  APART  LONG  AGO  IF  NOT  FOR  HIS  ENDLESS  SUPPORT .      she can hear the trees swaying outside of the tent now in the heavy air that surrounded them ,      the distant shouts of wizards who had been tasked with tracking them down            ------------            they  were  lucky  to  be  alive ,      lucky that she had remembered the spell meant to keep their location concealed from all who thought to look .                  “      if anyone deserved a different life ,      IT  WOULD  BE  YOU .      you should’ve …      you should have more than just me and this shit tent and a life of constantly living in fear .      you deserved happiness ;            not the falsified happiness that your fame offered ,      BUT  TRUE  HAPPINESS .      ”                        fingers wrap around his own ,      hold them against her cheek for just a moment longer            (   it grounds her ,      drowns out the harsh whispers of a tattered soul ,      balances the endless weight growing on her chest the longer the medallion remained wrapped around her neck   )            before hand drops and head tilts to the side .                        “      not much happiness in this tent ,      i’m afraid .      ”                        poker face falters as the lie escapes her lips ;            ALL  SHE’D  NEEDED      was in this tent ,      this quiet moment between the two of them ,      so delicate that she was afraid breathing would disrupt it all .

[rulebent-a]

[   LOETISE   ]

              of  course  it  was  never  love’s  idea.  love  was  good,  she  was  a  mother,  even  before  henry.  she’s  always  been  a  caretaker,  for  allie,  and  for  beloved  forty.  she  imagines  countless  others  as  well,  but  she  can’t  remember  any  of  love’s  friends  from  l.a.  well  enough,  they  disappeared  the  second  love  moved  away.  tears  prick  at  allie’s  eyes  once  more  when  courtney  tells  how  hopeful  love  is,  how  she  was  still  so  bright  and  so  love,  even  in  the  midst  of  this  terrible  nightmare.  she  can  feel  the  panic  seep  from  her,  fall  to  the  floor  and  sink  into  the  ground  below  them.  away  and  away  until  there’s  just  plain  worry  left  in  its  wake.    “  i’m  sorry  i  …  i’m  sorry,  i’m  so  sorry.  ”    she  had  been  such  a  child,  so  silly.  so  stupid.  of  course  this  wasn’t  love.  of  course  this  wasn’t  courtney.  she  digs  her  nails  into  her  palms  at  the  idea  of  being  afraid  of  love.  this  was  joe,  and  joe  was  sick.  and  joe  is  going  to  hurt  love.

              oh,  love.  poor  love.  this  was  all  allie’s  fault.  if  only  she  could  be  brave  enough  to  handle  things  on  her  own,  grown  up  and  no  longer  babyish  and  needy.  maybe  she  needed  to  leave,  after  all  of  this.  maybe  love  would  be  better  off  without  her  tugging  on  her  sleeve  every  waking  moment,  without  her  needing  her.  look  what  allie  had  done,  what  she  started.  she’d  hold  love  one  last  time,  she’d  apologize,  and  then  she  had  to  go.  she  had  to.  she  had  to  leave  and  find  some  way  to  help  love  out  of  this.  what  were  you  supposed  to  do?  who  were  you  supposed  to  call?  the  police?  they  were  hardly  helpful  in  any  situation  she’s  ever  heard  of.  courtney  was  an  adult,  a  real  one,  and  she  knew.  and  she  knew  and  she  hasn’t  done  anything.  none  of  it  makes  any  sense.  allie  takes  her  hands  off  the  glass  once  she’s  calmed  down,  falling  to  her  lap  as  she  moves  to  sit  on  the  floor,  no  longer  pressed  and  afraid.  just  upset  and  distraught  and  so,  so  anxious.    “  what  do  we  do?  how  can  we  …  how  can  we  stop  him?  who  are  you  supposed  to  call  for  this-  this  stuff?  ”    scary  stuff,  real  stuff.  stuff  that  didn’t  fit  into  the  daydream  that  was  allie’s  view  of  the  world.    “  courtney?  ”    vulnerable  with  large  eyes,  like  a  little  lamb,  leaning  into  her  hand.    “  what  do  we  do?  ”

[      THE  MANIPULATION  IS  SO  EASY  THAT  COURT  ALMOST  PITIES  THE  GIRL …      ]            almost .      but it’s still not enough to stave off the sickening pleasure that courtney gets from it all ,      not enough to get courtney to actually feel some semblance of humanity toward the broken creature that lay before her now            ------------            FEEBLE  CREATURE  THAT  BEGS  FOR  FORGIVENESS ,      it’s heart will be carved out soon enough ,      savagely ripped out by the very people she’d trusted the most ,      courtney simply wanted to put the girl out of her misery ,      not nearly as much of a monster as joe would depict her as            (      though she would still take some semblance of pleasure in the act itself ,      in watching the essence drain from allie’s eyes ,      in feeling the weight of lifelessness in her hands      ) .            allie was alive because of love’s desperate desires for a perfect life ,      because of      the  idealised  fantasy      of a family that accepted her for who she was ,      because of love’s innate inability to let go of the ones that care about her the least .      courtney had seen love for who she truly was ,      had embraced the craziest sides of her sister that even joe had been unable to ;            allie was nothing more than an obstacle in love’s happiness ,      whether love knew it or not .                        “      i tried talking to our dad ,      tried to explain the situation in hopes that he’d know what to do …      BUT  HE  DOESN’T  CARE  ABOUT  ME  OR  LOVE ,      just the implications on his family name .      ”                        falsehoods blend with truth so easily as she speaks ,      that even courtney is fooled by her words .      ray had never cared about her            (      maybe he never cared about love either ,      she would never know      ) ,            but he would never find out the truth about joe’s life ,      about the kind of person that love had grown to become .      ray would do nothing but ruin things further ,      would do nothing but make everything worse beyond repair .

“      i tried going to the cops .      EVEN  AFTER  NATALIE’S  DISAPPEARANCE ,      they didn’t care what i had to say ,      didn’t think that joe was capable of something so terrible .      i think …      i think he killed her too ,      allie .      ”                        joe had killed natalie ,      whether directly or not            ------------            he had been the one to cheat on love ,      after all .      joe had been the one that ripped their perfect little family apart ,      the one that had driven love to lash out in self preservation .                        “      his last girlfriend ,      her friends …      JOE  RUINED  THEIR  LIVES .      even blamed it all on the girl’s poor therapist .      ”

[pullsaway]

                                              she couldn’t ever feel a thing                                              she couldn’t hear herself think                                                  now she hates everything                                                    how did she get here?                                        𝕙𝕠𝕨  𝕕𝕚𝕕  𝕚  𝕘𝕖𝕥  𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖?

indie private & selective oc set in the st universe sung by chaos

[pullsaway]

HIATUS  NOTICE

i haven’t been super active lately because of my summer classes & my move,   but due to my study abroad program,   i will likely be ENTIRELY inactive from july 20th - august 7th.   i will try to make sure that my queue is stocked for this time (no promises) so that my blog doesn’t seem entirely desolate,   but i will try not to log on AT ALL during those three weeks to ensure that i’m keeping up with my course load.   i will still be reachable on discord during this time,   so mutuals can feel free to ask for that information,   but response time will be significantly longer than it is currently <33

[rulebent-a]

[   FIREBOLTZ   ]

the side of his lip quips into a half - smile when she tells him that he had been decent - looking in hogwarts…    really,  he tries his hardest not to have an ego.    there had been a heap of endless praise that followed the war,   the boy - hero blossoming into his role as saviour   [   it was not a heavy crown to wear,  as most assumed:    those weeks had brought fondness from the wizarding world,   eyes that looked to him with sweetness,   hands that gripped at his arm and thanked him for his sacrifice   ].     it is what came after that hurt…    the parts where he stopped being mythical and started being propositioned as a leader.    a small fractioned even wanted him to be the new minister of magic.    what was once healthy distance and a soft promise of praise dissolved into cries for him to do something,  for him to give more,  for him to be more.     he had faded then   –   he had become less of harry and more of a name,    another tragedy of the war.     THAT IS HOW DEEPLY WAR BECOMES PART OF A SOCIETY…     it infects slowly,  tediously,   until he turns to notice a thousand hungry eyes on him,    begging him to make his next move.

the issues came when he realised how uncomfortable he was with any leadership role…      or doing much of anything,  really.   it turns out that leading a revolution had taken a lot out of him,   carving out little pieces of him until the wound was too big to ever heal.   and as the months rolled by,   as he glanced around the world that he had sacrificed everything for,   he realised that it hadn’t been enough.     DESTROYING A DICTATOR DID NOT MAKE THEIR VALUES DISAPPEAR:     it did not remove their footprint from society.     the cracks showed themselves,   the fuzz of inequality grew as if it had never been removed.   voldemort had not drawn a worldview from thin air   –   he had glanced around and taken what already existed it,   twisting it into extremism.    change would require a top - down reproach of society and its very functions   [   harry wanted to escape into the muggle world,   where he didn’t have to worry about championing things like this   ].         ‘        decent - looking is still far more of a compliment than i was expecting.    please,   tell me more about what about me you found so decent.    was it my unruly hair or my overly big glasses or my scar?    it was the scar for most people.        ’        it was the legacy the scar hinted at.    but hermione had never cared about things like that   –   there was a sturdy safeness to be found in the roots of their friendship.     she seems to be blushing,   but he doesn’t bother to mention that:    some moments were fragile enough as is.        ‘       you were too busy focusing on your studies to be boy - crazy.    but you did go a little ga - ga over lockhart.   i thought your eyes were going to fall out of your head whenever you caught a glimpse of him.        ’        he digs into his food,   trying to dull a familiar ache in his chest.    it was a well - worn,  well - repressed,  sort of jealousy.         ‘        that’s not true.    you fit in much better than we did.    i don’t think ron studied even once.       ’

his snort is loud,   his hand coming to wipe at his lips to remove the patch of lettuce that had fixed itself there…     he had forgotten how easily she could make him laugh.     she had an easy way with words,    a wonderful way with humour:      he doesn’t know how she can feel so human when the rest of the world had begun to feel alien to him.        ‘        maybe they are.    i do like to be entertained.     but i like to think that i am alright at some magic,  when i want to be.    they certainly don’t want me for my brains.        ’        he blinks at the honesty at her next words,   soft enough to bruise the cherry pit of his heart.          ‘        believe me,  granger,   all this?    it’s always been you.   you’re…   you’re brilliant.      ’          and that is the truth,  too.        ‘        i can help with paperwork.    pass it over,   i’ll fake your signature for you.        ’

[      SHE  IMMEDIATELY  REGRETS  OFFERING  THE  PSEUDO - COMPLIMENT ,      ]            refuses to allow the embarrassment to wash over features as he teases her ,      a small frown slowly replacing the grin that had been spread upon delicate visage .      people had always treated harry as if he were their martyr ,      PLACING  A  CHILD  ON  A  BROKEN  PEDESTAL  IN  HOPES  THAT  HE  WOULD  BE  THEIR  SALVATION ;            as if he were meant for nothing more than the fruits of war ,      as if he were worth nothing more than his ability to survive .      harry had always deserved more than what was expected of him ,      had always deserved a peaceful childhood surrounded by those that cared for him                  (   truly cared for him ,      not the scar on his head ,      not the legacy that voldemort had left behind   ) .                  fingers twist in her lap as head shakes ,      gaze remains fixated on harry before heavy sigh escapes her lips .                        “      it was never about the scar ,      you know that .      although i must admit ,      i had been a fan of the hair .      ”                        the hint of a grin returns to cherry-stained lips ,      shoulders shrug before figure leans backwards in the leather desk chair .                        “      there was a time where maybe i put you on a pedestal too ,      BUT  NOT  BECAUSE  OF  THE  NAME  YOU  BORE  OR  THE  MARK  ON  YOUR  FOREHEAD .      you were just …      different from everyone else at hogwarts when we first met .      you didn’t care about what others expected of you ,      despite the scar .      you were friends with me despite it all ,      you went to gryffindor to distance yourself from voldemort’s legacy .      you were so brave and fiercely loyal ,      and representative of so many things that i had hoped to become .      ”                        HERMIONE  WAS  STUCK  IN  CONFESSIONAL ,      bearing her sins to the man that everyone had donned sainthood upon ,      thoughts and feelings being spoken aloud for the first time since they’d met all those years ago ,      things that she should’ve told him long ago .

“      you were like …      my first role model .      before lockhart ,      before viktor ,      BEFORE  ANYONE .      as dumb as it may sound .      ”                        she knew that role model was the wrong word ,      but even her courage had its limits ;            she avoids his gaze for a moment ,      ignores his statements about her not being boy - crazy                  (   harry didn’t know how wrong he was ,      how much she had idolized him for years ,      only for her feelings to not be reciprocated      ------------      it could never be reciprocated ,      so she’d never even tried   ) .                  soft smile finds its way to her face once more ,      the same one that is reserved solely for them .                        “      i fit in better with the professors than with the students .      i was the perfect student ,      sure ,      but i always had trouble making friends like you and ron had .      ”

“      i wouldn’t let you touch my paperwork with a ten - foot - pole ,      potter .      i don’t need you signing off on something stupid under my name …      ”                        another joke in an attempt to lighten the tone ,      TO  IGNORE  THE  WEIGHT  OF  HER  WORDS ,      the implications behind everything that she’s saying .                        “      you’re worth so much more than being yet another soldier in the wizarding world’s endless wars .      i can ask them to stop reaching out ,      if you’d like .      YOU  DESERVE  PEACE ,      just like the rest of us .      if anything ,      you deserve it more .      ”

[pullsaway]

if steve dies i will cancel my netflix subscription <333

i might not watch tomorrow, but all spoilers will be tagged as “st spoilers,” “st4 spoilers,” and “chaos viewing party” !

[streetlight-halo-deactivated202]

the way vecna’s attacks reflect on the right-side-up is really interesting to me. at first, at least, it’s so oddly angelic