my father taught me that everything i loved could be shoved into a fireplace and at ten years old i promised myself that i simply wouldn’t want things so i couldn’t be disappointed i thought if i emptied myself of all love and happiness and hope there was nothing he could take from me that i hadn’t already destroyed you cannot hurt me if i am gone already and i lived my life like this, ashes and cinders where would be success because when i self-destruct at least it’s my hand alone on that button, at least this fragile thing is mine and mine alone because you can’t kick me out if i never had a home when i met you, i found something i didn’t want to lose but our fights become volcanoes and one late night, you give up the ghost, you ask me why i’m bent on burning every building we have in the city of our love i open my shaky hands and discover i’m sobbing, i say, “can’t you see, i will never be a good for you - breaking people breaking things is all i know how to do.”
how do i explain the bad things /// r.i.d (via antagxnized)
