snafy

hello

[runieddiary]

I panic when people talk to me and I say all the wrong things. ImNot friendly. I hate you!!!!!!!!!!! So much

[runieddiary]

I don’t draw anymore because I’m saving my talent for when I paint the walls

[runieddiary]

I was at an event the other day and was sat next to this woman who was a bit shorter than me but very large (I’m quite short for reference). Her stomach basically was touching the ground with how much it sagged. And she was so entitled to comment on other people as if she didn’t look like she belonged in an oddity show. It was difficult to sit next to her because everytime she spoke, I wanted to tell her off so bad and I bet if I did it would’ve been so satisfying.

As I’m typing this out I’m noticing that I’ve been more angry with people than usual. I hope that doesn’t marinate. Its probably because I’ve been skipping out on medication

[runieddiary]

i used to have a plan to try every drug to exist so I could know more than anyone else

[runieddiary]

I feel a lot of emotions all of the time

[runieddiary]

hey what are u doifn Adma

[runieddiary]

Go anead andRape me!!!!!

[frankie-teardropppp]

[huntedbysoyciety]

Last posts (anything other related) By Adam Lanza.

Pt 3/3 (feel free to check the other ones @_@)

[runieddiary]

I drew Adam but I can’t color. I hope I captured his eyes!

[gluemetogether]

"Its the jews" proceeds to shoot the muslims

[runieddiary]

This is why I fucking hate the San Diego shooters. They’re definitely try hard wannabes.

[runieddiary]

if heaven is so great why doesn’t everyone just kill themselves?

[runieddiary]

You turned a halo into a whirring buzzsaw. A sanctity turned violent- so violent that it cuts into me and carves the fetus in what was a delicate heart.

I can romanticize the wreckage within me. After all, I was taught to lick at the drip of honey that tasted all too much like salt from your tongue.

Tell me you tried to save me, I’ll autograph the claim, frame it, and label it a self portrait. Remember me as unholy because you made me that way. I reject responsibility for your corruption.

[runieddiary]

When I take my meds I feel very placated. They do their job and make me feel better. It’d be great if I actually wanted to feel good though. I think that’s a feeling medication is unable to pacify. I say this as if I don’t cry out of frustration when I’m off them (did so last week right before I got back on them)

It’s like I put myself through a self inflicted torture cycle. What is this phenomenon called? What causes it to develop?

[runieddiary]

I know I’m not as strange and deranged as the rest of the fucktardets in the community but I can’t help but feel like it, especially after being socially shunned/rejected every time I try to make friends with similar interests as me. I guess you could call me stupid for going into a community thinking “finally, people like me” just to be discouraged when that doesn’t mean connections will be created easily. Which in retrospect does sound very stupid.

A lot of people dont really want new friends once they get ones they’re comfortable with. That’s something I understand considering I’m the same way (I typically have one friend and keep it that way).. I really wish that wasn’t the case now, seeing as being by myself for so long is starting to take a toll on my already toxic mentally.

I used to have a good friend actually. Very low maintenance; my favorite kind of friend since I get overwhelmed pretty easily by constant socialization. They dumped me sometime around last year (edit: two years ago) for reasons I’m assuming had to be with his partner. I haven’t been motivated to make any new friends since then. Maybe if I was a better friend I would be still in kindle with them? Unfortunately for me my previous single friend couldn’t handle my edginess lol

I don’t expect this to gain any traction (I hope it doesn’t) I’m just posting to vent. Anyway, cheers to trying to make friends!