Better the devil you know (spoilers for up to season 9)

[runnerthree]

if I don’t see my wife in four days I will betray this township again, on god

[crownleys]

Hey, ZR. Long time, no draw

[runnerthree]

thewondersmith replied to your post “i’m sorry the old simon lauchlan can’t come to the phone right now....”

BLOCKT

honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time.

[runnerthree]

i’m sorry the old simon lauchlan can’t come to the phone right now.

why?

oh, ‘cause he’s dead.

[runnerthree]

me nam is simon

i feer hellfire

so w van ark

i do conspire

but basball bat

canne mak me ded

i give up lyf

i fry thee hed

[stephairth-deactivated20180914]

my name is Si and wen I run or wen I stretch and flex my buns i think of deth and i caynt sleep i realize im in too deep

[runnerthree]

me nam is simon

i feer hellfire

so w van ark

i do conspire

but basball bat

canne mak me ded

i give up lyf

i fry thee hed

[runnerthree]

when u say ur zombisexual make sure you put enough of a pause between ‘zombie’ and ‘bisexual’ or else people will keep asking how many shamblers u fucked this week and the number rarely ever goes higher than four, which is an embarrassment

[runnerthree]

it’s dat boi

[runnerthree]

[runnerthree]

i might still be a walking talking spoiler warning but hey, I felt like a name change was in order and since SOMEONE took @simonlauchlan we’ll all have to endure with this one

not that i blame u mate, it’s a good one

[runnerthree]

the best part about New Canton is you can tell them to git gud and they can’t do anything about it because they won’t git gud

[runnerthree]

runner five has informed me that repeating the trojan zombie/zombie pinata thing is inadvisable for cinco de mayo because “it’s not funny and it’s also culturally insensitive you piece of shit”

fair

[runnerthree]

one time i made a giant, hollowed out statue of a zombie and left it in front of new canton and they took it in and they were surprised and upset about the zombie heads inside

[runnerthree]

what’s that I smell burning?

[runnerthree]

oh it's owen. again.

[runnerthree]

what’s that I smell burning?

[runnerthree]

Not small in "that" way. He is not tall. Like runner 5 could put their elbow on his head to piss him off. That would also be why he is such a showoff.

i’m ten feet tall thanks

[runnerthree]

Me: I think we should adopt another kid

Wife: no

Me: why?

Wife: because by 'kid' you mean 'lizard' and we already have 50

Me: *reaching into pocket* actually... 51.