Not All Of Me

Sam Caufield || 23-29 || ER Doctor I left more than my leg overseas, I left my brothers and sisters, I left my way of life. I left my very being in that sand Indie OC blog. Trigger Warning:: PTSD \\ Amuputee

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam can now be found

HERE

Please like this or refollow and we can continue our threads. I did change up her bio a bit so please read and refamiliarize yourself with Sam

[alwaysvacant-blog1]

And there is was again the presence of the rosiness in his cheeks over his accent but he breathed out slowly. It was embarrassing for him, even back home it was something that was noticable.  But his composure  returned and his hand slid from her shoulder. “Actually see about 5 vets– Two from Operation Iraqi Freedom, One from Operation New Dawn, One from the ‘Nam and one who served like my papaw in the engagement in Korea.– If you ever would like to meet any of them I visit the later two at their nursing homes when they are unavailable t’ come into the office. And I ain’t trying t’ speak ill of their families but I think I am one of the only people that come t’ visit them and it is a shame. They are full of stories and experience, – I pity the people in their families that don’t embrace that.” He spoke off handily, there was just something about Sam that made it easy to speak with her. He couldn’t quite place it maybe it was as like their conversation had begun. God did always work in a mysterious way putting people in your path that you are supposed to meet. Ray shrugged a little bit, resting his back again the bench as well. His normal day could be exhausting, but today had taken a particular toil on him. “Not this one. She was just admitted overnight– Damn kid.” He breathed out past the lump in his throat. Ray could feel the  sting, turning his head- he rubbed at his eyes. “– They were able to move her outta ICU after a couple hours but– they are going to hold her in the ward for 72 hours. – kid’s thirteen. T h i r t e e n… and do that t’ ‘erself.” There was a severeness in his voice for a moment. “– Sorry. Forgive me." 

He rubbed at his eyes again, it wasn’t all just his emotions or the exhaustion- but how it felt sitting in the room with her. He wasn’t the sort to leave work at work, not with some of his patience. Some he seen on the bus or out in the world, the store, at his complex. Bo he knew through referral. A child assignment to his assessment and care as a mandatory 'rehab’ in order to keep her in the public school system. They say that bullying is decreasing in schools but it was hard to believe when he talked to kids like Bo.He took a couple more deep breaths and rubbed his hands together before his head turned back to Sam. Before he spoke again though he thought about all that she said and in his own mind he concluded that like many other vets that he had spoken with she probably had a hard time in crowds among other things and those buses some days were packed like a sardine can.    ”-If y’ do I’ll hold your hair.“ He said with a laugh as he touched her shoulder again. “And it ain’t like you are the first person t’ puke on the bus. Or on me in the matter. “

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

“I’d love to meet your vet friends,” Sam said genuinely as she smiled warmly. “Everyone deserves to be visited in the twilight years, especially those who served. So many elderly people have stories to tell and no one to listen.”

Sam had herself a story she should probably tell but she wasn’t ready to share it yet. If  she shared it it would be real and if it was real it would mean that Xavier was really gone; that Romero and Kincaid weren’t on deployment waiting to come back and she did, in fact, fail them both in leadership and as a medic. She had seen a lot of injured soldiers and lost a few during her tours but none hit home as hard as her first and as her final.

Sam listened as Ray shared with her the partial story of his teen patient and her heart went out to both Ray and the girl he spoke of. She remembered being a teenager, the judgment and constant self-doubt, the bullying and need to fit in. It wasn’t easy for a girl or boy in those years, but girls were especially cruel. Boys tended to leave physical bruises girls broke you down until you left marks yourself.

Sam reached out and took hold of Ray’s hand, squeezing it gently in her own in what she  hoped was a reassuring gesture.

“She has someone looking out for her, that’s sometimes all they need,” Sam told him with a gentle smile. She retracted her hand and went back to toying with her stress ball.

“No need to be sorry, I’ve seen kids like her in the ER, I’ve talked to a few of them when they wake up. It is really heartbreaking and your torn between coddling the patient and throttling anyone and everyone that made them feel that way but then you’d have to take on the whole world. The media, the other kids, their parents who justify their kids’s behavior, and then at the end of the day you end up no better and the pain is still there,” she shrugged it off and  laughed softly.

“When I first joined the army I was belittled for being a woman, it got worse when I made sergeant but after saving a few soldiers and shouting a few orders you make a good solid name for yourself. I started with my father’s name and reputation and made it my own, that’s all we can do. Make a name we’re proud of and damn what others think but- unfortunately- its a lesson we learn late in life.”

Sam pulled a water bottle from her duffle bag and  took a swig to try and settle her nerves.

“I like it by the way,” she said looking down the road for the bus. “Your accent, it’s nice. You shouldn’t be so shy about it, accents are like signatures, no two are alike. It’s a signature your voice makes.” Sam smiled at him and then choked on her water when he commented about holding her hair and being thrown up on.

“I would never forgive myself,” she laughed as she slowly relaxed. “I threw up on my dad the first time I rode in a car after I got back. He laughed and I cried. It was a spectacle.”

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

Army!Au || Duck and Cover || Sam and Mason

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

When they reached the barracks, Mason picked out a fresh uniform for himself and Sam and dress with his girlfriend.  He didn’t really care if other people noticed them changing, that was part of military life.  When they were changed, it was time for mess and PT.  Mason didn’t know what they should eat for dinner or what was being served.  “I’ll ask my mom to send cookies next week.”

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

“Might as well wait since the boys and I’ll be in Baghdad and you’ll be in New York next week,” Sam told him pulling a shirt on over her head before doing up her trousers and reaching for her boots. “Then you won’t have to worry about them breaking in the mail you can pack em yourself in a tin or something on the plane,” she explained retying her hair and standing to meet Mason at the tent flap to head to mess. “I pray it’s not meatloaf, please be like chicken parmesean,” she teased cupping her hands up in prayer. “Oh I never did get a good look at your tattoo, what is it?”

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

Army!Au || Duck and Cover || Sam and Mason

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

Mason turned the water off after the shampoo was out of his hair and they dried off with towels Romero gave them.  They then put on their dirty uniforms, knowing that they looked clean enough to be able to walk back to the barracks and change properly without being noticed by the Master Sergeant.  Mason went to the door and whispered that they were going out of the emergency exit of the showers at the back and to wait thirty seconds before letting everyone in.  He then took Sam’s hand and snuck her out of the back.

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam giggled lightly and Romero waved them off through the door before they sneaked out the back. Sam looked at Mason and stole a kiss before she tied up her hair and tucked it under her cap. “I feel like teenagers,” Sam teased as she walked towards the barracks with Mason, reaching out to take his hand in hers and lace their fingers. “We should definitely bribe Kincaid and Romero more often,” she decided with a smile.

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

Army!Au || Duck and Cover || Sam and Mason

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

Mason complied to his girlfriend’s demands.  As she was putting the shampoo in his hair, he could hear singing through the door.

“In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight…”

“I thought I told them no singing,” he said with a laugh.  “Your friends are idiots.”

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Romero had the bass with a steady “awheemaway, awheemaway,” while Kincaid took the high notes.

“Hey they’re your friends now too,” Sam said scrubbing her fingers through her boyfriend’s hair and then rinsing him clean before kissing along his neck and shoulder lovingly. She nipped him before there was a quick knock on the door and Romero peeked his head inside, a hand over his eyes.

“Heads up kids, soldiers out here need in, too, and I demand some of these promised cookies Jackson,” Romero hissed before quickly ducking back out of the showers and shutting the door. Sam smiled over her shoulder and looked up at Mason. 

“Neither of us grabbed clean clothes or towels, genius.” As if he heard him, Romero held out two towels through the door without looking, waving them dramatically.

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

Matt and ? || Open Starter

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

“My friends are all jerks,” Matt said.  “The guys, anyway.  You know that, you’ve been around them.  When I’m with them, we act like we’re sixteen again.”  He ate another handful of popcorn.

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

“That’s when you’re around them, who knows, maybe they’re all gentlemanly around women like you and you’re just a bad influence,” Sam teased popping some popcorn up in the air and catching it in her mouth skillfully. She smiled at Matt and crinkled her nose at him playfully. “If you don’t want me to date anyone all you have to do is say so,” she joked.

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

Army!Au || Duck and Cover || Sam and Mason

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

“How many sandstorms have you been through?” Mason asked as he ran his hands through her hair.  There were small bottles of shampoo always in the shower and he sudsed some up in her blonde locks, massaging it into her scalp.

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

Sam mewled at the feeling of his hands in her hair, biting her bottom lip happily before replying, “Just two and now this one. They get worse the further from the cities we go, this one wasn’t so bad. My first tour we had to shack up in this old abandoned city that we bombed, we spent the night there because the storm lasted for hours,” Sam leaned her head back into the water to rinse the shampoo out of her hair before twirling around and putting Mason under the spray. “Your turn.”

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

Matt and ? || Open Starter

[private-empire-deactivated20160]

“Around seven?” Matt suggested, he wasn’t picky with time.  “When’s your next hot date?”

[runsinmybloodarchive-blog]

“I meet Dr Francis at lunch every evening at ten pm sharp for the cafeteria special aka whatever we left in the fridge when we came in. Dr Francis is the pediatrics doctor she works nights with me,” Sam said taking her hair down and tousling it lazily. “She’s the only hot date I get anymore, maybe you should set me up with one of your hot friends,” Sam teased smiling cheekily at Matt. “Or do you not hang out with anyone as attractive as you for aesthetic?”