[ahotknife]

the beach boys were right. it would be nice

[viinnttaaggee]

[7tny]

[cashewcream-deactivated20170602]

me about me: is she okay

[theyellowbrickroad]

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

[apeeled]

i love it when things stop bothering you. like two months ago i was totally bitter about so many things and now im like “u know what i don’t even care” & that’s a beautiful feeling

[pukicho]

Do you have any regrets?

Absolutely! Thanks for the ask

[5tn]

[quadriceps-deactivated20171230]

today i am john

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

me after getting run over by my ex wife’s ford rover and now the ambulance i called is at the end of the street revving its engine

[sundxwn]

[catscenter]

[tastefullyoffensive]

Still a good boy. (via Holly_Monson)

[trulyvincent]

[whiteyoda]

[highlandvalley]

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

GIVE HIM THE FISH

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

Looking at it again I like the torn paper in the background suggesting that the cat busted his way into the room

[deathfromabove1989-deactivated2]

[brucee-waynee]

Rami Malek & Charlie Hunnam Answer the Web’s Most Searched Questions. | WIRED

[unbotheredmuse]