It's All A Bunch of Stories

Roman Blake, 18 Government Intern Hopelessly Lost. ROMAN BLAKE is a 18 year old GOVERNMENT INTERN. Around Manhattan HE is know as THE HUMANITARIAN. Everyone says they are CARING AND PASSIONATE but also can be very NERVOUS AND PESSIMISTIC. I’d say they remind me of EVAN PETERS, wouldn’t you?

[ashtonxsamuel-deactivated201607]

Ash couldn’t contain himself. He grabbed Roman and placed him on his lap. He stood up and rested Roman’s back on the wall, his gaze was on Roman’s lips. He could feel Roman’s breaths on his face. “Fuck…” he bit his lips. He got closer to his face, their lips were touching. “Where do you want me to take you?” He whispered.

[rxmanblake]

Roman would completely admit that his mind was thoroughly in the gutter as he held on to the other male, pressing closer as he pressed his lips against Ashton’s. It took him a moment to process what the other male was even asking, but he pushed through the lusty fog in his mind and grinned, nipping the other male’s lower lip gently. “Anywhere... As long as it’s with you,” he whispered, tongue flicking over the other male’s lower lip.

[justjudejones]

Chance noticed, the change in Roman’s behavior and he sighed. “Please eat, I didn’t mean to hurt you. That was just a statement, I’m not saying he’s better than you or anything. Just that you’re different.”

[rxmanblake]

“It’s fine,” Roman muttered softly, shaking his head as he took a deep breath, staring down at his plate. “Seriously. I’m just- overreacting, or whatever. I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders slightly, unable to stop himself from thinking that yes, Wes was better, that was why Chance had chosen him.

[ashtonxsamuel-deactivated201607]

“You and me.” He nodded. He was on the verge of tears. He didn’t know if this was real. Sharing these words with Roman was so surreal, it felt like a dream, but it was so real. “Let’s start all over, then, shall we?” He said and got off the bed, leaving Roman sitting on the bed. He bent down on one knee. It was cheesy, but he loved cheesy things anyway. “Roman Blake.” He couldn’t stop laughing. “Don’t judge me!” He said and pointed his index finger towards him. He shook his head and started over. ”Roman Blake. Would you do me the honors of taking you out on a date?” 

[rxmanblake]

Roman giggled as he sat on the other male’s bed, biting his lower lip cautiously as he tilted his head, unsure as to how exactly he’d do this. Or what Ashton was doing, if he was being completely honest. The older male started laughing, which sent the blonde into peals of his own laughter, giggling as he squirmed anxiously in his seat and blushed, covering his cheeks. “I’m not judging, I’m just laughing!” he insisted, watching the other male happily. The boy took a deep breath and struggled to compose himself as the other asked his question- and then he was nodding, grinning brightly as he cupping Ashton’s face and brushing their lips together slowly. “Yes, I will go on a date with you,” he said softly, nodding his head brightly.

[justjudejones]

“Roman you and Wesley are very different people. I don’t ever see him becoming dependent on me. It’s not in his nature.” He shrugged, to Chance the two were almost polar opposites sometimes and it was curious how he was romantically interested in both. 

[rxmanblake]

Roman shrugged his shoulders slightly, not really wanting to think about it as he pushed the food around on his plate absentmindedly, trying to distract himself. “Yeah, okay,” he managed, puffing out his cheeks slightly as he plucked up a piece of food with his fork before letting it drop down again.

[ashtonxsamuel-deactivated201607]

Ash regretted the words the moment they came out of his mouth. He didn’t regret it because they weren’t true, he regretted it because when someone told the other they they loved them, it generally ended bad, it generally ended with break ups, separations. The silence was scaring him, he held on Roman’s hand tighter, to keep him with him, to prevent him from running away. He was stupid. He was an idiot for saying it out loud. They weren’t even dating, they weren’t even in a relationship. How could he love him?  Yes, that’s what Roman was probably gonna think. “I…” He was about to say how sorry he was when he heard Roman’s words. He laughed out loud.. He sat up and rested his back on the bed. His heart was so bad it felt as if it was gonna tear his chest apart. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. “I promise, babe, I’m never gonna leave you. I promise I’ll never make you sad.” He reached forward, he grabbed Roman by the cheeks and kissed him on the lips. “I promise…” He said as he rested their foreheads together.

[rxmanblake]

Roman let out a small giggle as he kissed the other male back, his hands covering Ashton’s on his cheeks. “You and me,” he whispered, watching the other male carefully. He was being overcautious, he knew that- he could trust Ashton. He could trust Ashton more than he could trust anyone else in the world. He’d been there through Chance, and Wesley, and Riker, and Figsey- he was the only one who had always been there for him. So he took a deep breath and nodded, placing his lips over Ashton’s once again, kissing him slowly. “I trust you. It’s you and me- deal.” He let his hands rest on the older male’s chest as he leaned their foreheads together, a contented sound escaping him. “God... I can’t believe we’re doing this. In a good way, of course.”

[justjudejones]

“Yeah but it’s Wes and I. We’ve already been kind of dependent on each other for most of our lives. We’re best friends. And he’s already so freaking independent I don’t see him getting to the point where he can’t sleep or function without me. This is Wesley we’re talking about remember.” He nodded. “Well, I’m still sorry.”

[rxmanblake]

Chance’s words made him feel sick. He was right- they had been, and Roman had been stupid to think he’d ever stood a chance against that. Unconsciously nudging his plate away slightly, the blonde shrugged his shoulders. “And I’ve raised myself since I was about nine. You didn’t know me before I came to America- I didn’t need anyone. I was fine, just wandering foreign countries on my own and leaving after a month or so. I didn’t need friends, didn’t need anyone. But I don’t know. Everyone is different.” He shrugged his shoulders helplessly, because there was nothing he could really say. He still hurt over it, a lot, but that was probably more due to the fact that his ex had moved on with his best friend- he didn’t really know, he was just sort of caught in the middle of everything.

[justjudejones]

“It wouldn’t lead to dependency. He’d pay rent and honestly, I’m working 90% of the day so it wouldn’t be like I was there constantly. I just want to help him in some way, just like how I want to help you.” He shook his head. “Roman, just because I did the leaving doesn’t mean I left unscathed. I still hurt too. And I’m sorry it’s not the same. If I could somehow fix everything I would but I obviously can’t and I know that. Just know that knowing that pains me every day.”

[rxmanblake]

“No, I mean- we spend a lot of time together because we were basically living together. And then when you left I didn’t know how to function without you. That’s kind of what might happen. Maybe you’re not there constantly, but living together right from the start might mean that he stops knowing how to function on his own for the times where you are there,” Roman said softly. “Like, look at Owen and Ashton. They’re great together, don’t get me wrong, but they basically got together by Ashton moving in, and now Owen can’t sleep without Ashton being there.” The blonde glanced at the other male for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders slightly. “You can’t fix everything. Or everyone. That’s just not how it works. Sometimes you just have to accept that things don’t work out and people get hurt.”

[justjudejones]

Chance looked at the other confused. “No. He didn’t. I don’t understand why he doesn’t just move in with me. There’s enough space for all of us and more.” He shook his head. “I don’t think we ended horribly Roman and I’m sorry you do. You also didn’t lose me. I’m right here aren’t I?”

[rxmanblake]

“Because if I’ve learned anything, it’s not healthy to be dependent on the person you’re dating. Not right in the beginning. And living together leads to dependency. That’s why,” he said simply. “That’s because you did the leaving. Breakups don’t seem as bad when you’re the one who left. And I did lose you- it’s not the same. You’re here, we talk, we’re friends, but it’s not that same. I can’t call you up and ask you to come cuddle and watch a movie with me, I don’t feel comfortable asking you to come to my therapy sessions despite the fact that I’m terrified to go alone, because half the time I’m talking about you. It’s different.”

[justjudejones]

Chance shrugged. “I’ve had little experience with relationships Roman, you know that. And I think they’re very case to case. But I also think if you’re just starting out then maybe it’s not the best idea.” He shrugged again. “I don’t know though. I’m really trying to get Wes and brothers and Serenity to move in because it’s ridiculous they’re staying in such a small place but they won’t listen.”

[rxmanblake]

“You mean Wes didn’t tell you? I’m helping him look for a bigger place,” Roman said slowly, frowning a little. “He asked me to go looking a few weeks back or whatever. So I’ve been sending him options and stuff.” He shrugged his shoulders briefly. “This place is too big for just me, but I can’t move out, so I haven’t decided... He’s nice, probably my second best friend, next to Wes. Or maybe my best friend- I don’t know. I’d like him to be here, but we were kind of living together, and that ended horribly. And I can’t lose another person.”

[ashtonxsamuel-deactivated201607]

“I’ve always been prepared, Roman.” He said with a cracked voice. He could see the tears in Roman’s eyes, and he could not put any meaning into it. Was his fears becoming real? Was he really scaring him away? He didn’t know why he was crying, but it was hurting him. He didn’t wanna see him cry so he he wiped the tear away with his thumb impulsively, his hand remained on his face. “I…” Ash shook his head. Maybe he should really take Alex’s advice. He though of their conversation, and he knew he could trust him. “I… love you, Roman. I love you. And I want to be with you. Just… give in to me. Give us a chance, man. I promise, I’ll never leave, I’ll never break your heart.” He said as he looked him in the eye with a stern face. He was relieved that he finally admitted his through feelings both to himself and Roman, he was relieved that he finally said it out loud. He was only scared that Roman might leave. That was the only thing that scared him.

[rxmanblake]

From Roman’s experience, relationships never worked out. If you wanted to keep someone around, you kept them as a friend and hoped that they didn’t grow bored of you. But with Ashton right there in front of him, his resolve was breaking. How could he say no? He knew he cared about the other male- probably way more than he ought to- and maybe he loved him. Nuzzling his face into the other male’s hand, heart thundering in his chest, he nodded his head slightly. Yes, he did love him too. But could he say it? Was that even possible for him anymore? It’d been so long since he’d told anyone he loved him when they loved him in turn. It was terrifying. But he couldn’t lose Ashton, and maybe this was his chance to actually have something good- that stayed good. “I’d never say no to you,” he whispered finally, nodding his head a little as he took a deep, shaky breath. “I...I love you too, Ash. So- Yes. We can... have our chance.”

[rxmanblake]

Roman frowned and shook his head. “I don’t like needles,” he muttered lowly, huffing a little. “What? No! Not that Ashton. That’s Ashton Brunswick. I’m talking about Ashton Samuels. He’s…” Cheeks turning pink, the blonde shrugged his shoulders slightly. “He’s a friend. He watches All Hail King Julien with me and doesn’t complain that it’s a kid’s show.”

[justjudejones]

“Oh,” Chance remarked a little relieved. “Sorry, I only know one Ashton and I was a bit worried for a second. But that’s good. Having a roommate is a good thing.”

[rxmanblake]

Roman took a deep breath, tilting his head slightly as he tried to toy with how to phrase what he wanted to ask, taking another bite of food. "Can I talk to you about something?" he asked softly, frowning a little. "Is... that a good idea? Because I think I might... like him. And I think he likes me too. And if we did... become anything, living together from the beginning wouldn't be a good idea, would it?"

[ashtonxsamuel-deactivated201607]

“I…” Ashton shook his head. He agreed with everything Roman said, he had to right not to trust anyone, not to open up to someone, not to surrender his heart to someone after everything he’d been through, but Ashton was not someone. He was the guy who was madly in love with Roman and right now, it was time to pour his heart out. It was time to make that speech, but he was having difficulty putting the words together. It felt like if he said everything on his mind, in his heart, to Roman, everything’d be good, but then again he didn’t know, he didn’t want to make him go away. He held Roman’s hand that was wandering around on his chest. “I know… I know how hard it is for you to trust anyone, but you can trust me, Roman. You know you can. I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere as long as you want me next to you.” He said, looking in his eyes. “I… I want to, Roman. Dating, going out, being in a relationship. I… just never wanted to scare you away.” He laughed. “But keep this in mind: I’ll never get bored of you. Don’t say that.”  He straightened up, their fingers tangled.”There’s nothing to be afraid of. Don’t be scared. You know you can trust me, Roman. Just give us a chance. Let us take this further.” He looked at him with begging. “I… do you really wanna know what I feel?” He smiled.

[rxmanblake]

Roman’s cheeks turned a dark red at the other male’s words. It was one thing to know that Ashton would never leave him, but a completely other thing to actually hear it coming from the man himself. This was his Ashton- the one he could trust more than anyone else in the world. The one who had proved he could be trusted. “Then I hope you’re prepared to never leave,” he whispered, before letting the other continue. Hearing that Ashton wanted to date him only made his cheeks burn darker, his breathing getting slightly shaky as he felt a few tears father in his eyes. Ashton could always get reactions like that from him- make him blush, get embarrassed, start crying, everything. It just wasn’t fair- he wanted to be able to get the older male to react that way. But he held on to his hand tighter, nodding his head slightly. “I really want to know how you feel,” he whispered, knowing he needed to know before he finally admitted that he cared about the other male.

[rxmanblake]

“Are they gonna make me take a shot? Or stick a needle in me? I don’t like needles…” Roman frowned as he looked down before shaking his head a little. “Do you think it would be too much to ask Ashton to come hold my hand? Oh- I’m making him move in with me, so if you come over for one of our dinners and someone else answers the door, don’t get freaked out that I’m getting murdered or anything. Because it’s probably just him. Unless it’s not him, because then I might have gotten murdered… I know that’s what I’d think if someone else answered your door at least.”

[justjudejones]

“They might take some blood but it will be quick and easy.” Chance said before raising an eyebrow. “I thought Ashton was married with children. How is he moving in with you?” He questioned. Incredibly confused. “And he seems nice, if he doesn’t you can call Wes or I. One of us is bound to be free.”

[rxmanblake]

Roman frowned and shook his head. "I don't like needles," he muttered lowly, huffing a little. "What? No! Not that Ashton. That's Ashton Brunswick. I'm talking about Ashton Samuels. He's..." Cheeks turning pink, the blonde shrugged his shoulders slightly. "He's a friend. He watches All Hail King Julien with me and doesn't complain that it's a kid's show."

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

[rxmanblake]

@ashtonxsamuel

[lyannstark]

[ashton-brunswick-blog]

@rxmanblake

[ashtonxsamuel-deactivated201607]

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ashton asked cheekily. He kinda knew what it meant, and again he didn’t.; he wanted to make sure, but he also didn’t care, because he didn’t want to spoil that moment with words. He pulled Roman towards himself, he was on top of Ashton, his leg was between his legs, Ashton’s arm was wrapped around his waist. Nothing could ever taste better than Roman’s sweet lips, he was sure of it. He kissed him as if he waited for this moment to happen all his life. He forced his tongue into Roman’s mouth. It felt so good, but somehow it felt so wrong. “Roman…” He pulled back and looked in his eyes. He just wanted him to see how much he was in love with him, he just wished that he could radiate it through his eyes. “Roman, I… What are we doing? What is this? What is us?” He asked. He didn’t want this to be just meaningless sex. How could he know this was nothing but physical pleasure? He couldn’t take it it if was just that. Finally, just like he wanted, they were taking a step forward, but was it towards the right way? He wanted more, he wanted to be with Roman. He had to make sure that it wasn’t just casual sex where both parties went their own way after they were over.

[rxmanblake]

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Roman teased lightly, a small giggle escaping his lips. He let his tongue brush Ashton’s as they kissed, a small moan escaping his lips. It felt good, to be so close to Ashton. It felt right. But then Ash was pulling away and asking questions, and he didn’t know how to answer them. Slowly, he sat up, shifting until he was straddling the other’s hips, a small frown playing on his lips as his fingertips drew designs on the other male’s chest. “I... I don’t know.” He decided to be honest- to just say what was on his mind. He knew that Ashton would never judge him for anything he said. He could trust him. “I care about you,” he said softly. “I know I care about you. That I want... this. I just... You know how hard it is for me to trust anyone,” he whispered. “I know I can trust you, that you’ll always be here. But I’m... terrified that we’ll start... dating, or whatever, and you’ll get bored. Maybe you’d still be my friend, but you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. I’m afraid of that.” Taking a deep breath, he reached down and took a hold of Ashton’s hands, lacing their fingers together. “Can... Can I trust you? Do you... how do you feel about me? I know... there’s something there. Between us. But what... is it?”

[ashtonxsamuel-deactivated201607]

“You think? Well, you’ll have full control over my diet, so it’s all in your hands.” He laughed. “Although, I’d still appreciate it if you let me keep the abs. Oh man!” Ash tilted his head back. Hearing all these words were killing him. He looked back at Roman and stared for a few seconds. He looked at him directly in the eye. “You’re so pretty.” He said in a deep voice, his hand flowed through his soft hair. He was hypnotized. He coughed and shook his head. “Yes, Eddie. Yes. You’ll be so much better. When I’m done with you, you’ll be wiping the floor with Eddie. Sure. What is it?” He asked, his voice cracked. “What do yo-” He couldn’t even finish his sentence, because something he’d never anticipated happened: Roman’s lips met his. It was the best feeling he’d ever gone through. His head was buzzing, spinning. It was just a kiss, but it was enough to kill him. “I… uh…” He couldn’t speak, his face was red. He looked at Roman, he held him even tighter and pulled him towards himself into a kiss.

[rxmanblake]

“Maybe. We’ll see- maybe I’ll just have to give you an excuse to work out a lot.” The words slipped out of his lips without his permission- he wasn’t sure if Ashton would pick up on the innuendo, though. Because sex was a fantastic workout- but he’d never say that out loud and admit to how much he actually thought about that sort of thing. How much he thought about what it would be like to take that step in their relationship. Roman’s cheeks flushed a dark red as he sucked in a deep breath at the compliment- he wasn’t used to that sort of thing. He decided he liked the way Ashton’s lips felt against his own, and he shifted slightly so he was half on top of the other male, kissing him once again. He knew there was a lot to get over- Figsey coming back and then leaving when he said he wouldn’t, his best friend dating his ex- but those things didn’t seem too bad while he was kissing Ashton. They faded away.