I Don't Bite But I Heard You Might

Ryan Cotter. 31 year old owner of the Cotter Organization

[ryan-cotterr]

asliceofaiden‌:

Aiden approached him slowly as he let out a dry scoff. With too much built up rage, he found it impossible to keep himself together, hence his right hand lashed out and hit Ryan’s cheek. “You goddamn sonofabitch, you know why.” Choosing to ignore his aching hand, he kept glaring at his friend, uncomfortably close. “What the hell’s your problem, man?” he nearly growled while clenching his jaw. “You treat my girl like that and we got ourselves a problem. Hell, you should be thankful I don’t carry a gun right now!”

Ryan could see the hit coming from a mile away, but he didn’t dodge it or stop it from happening, and instead just let Aiden punch him in the face. Turning his head to the side on impact, Ryan just nodded. “I guess that’s fair” he said, looking back at Aiden. Ryan squinted slightly as Aiden mentioned guns. He was sure his friend wasn’t going to shoot him, but Ryan had had a bad week and right now he wasn’t opposed to the idea. Pulling his gun out from the back of his pants, he put it in Aiden’s hand. “Now you have a gun. You gonna let me have a drink before you shoot me?” he said before taking a step back and walking over to his liquor cabinet. Pulling out his favorite whiskey, Ryan took a swig and looked back at Aiden.

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

“I don’t know what to think anymore!” Victoria hissed, finding it impossible to believe anything coming out of his mouth at this point. “Oh, your intentions may be different, but your tactics are just the same! You’re still lying to me, you’re still manipulating me — that hasn’t changed at all.” She only grew more frustrated when he claimed that she got mad no matter what he did. “What the hell kind of reaction did you expect!?” she snapped and threw her arms out to the sides. “You’re a grown-ass man, I shouldn’t have to tell you that your actions have fucking consequences. If you had just been honest from the start, none of this would’ve happened! Believe me, it wasn’t easy, but I was willing to look past the fact that you lied about your reputation, your drug addiction and what you do for a living, but this?” she scoffed, “You weaseled your way into my life with your hidden agenda and had me completely fooled. How can you expect me to take anything you say or do seriously when I don’t even know who you are half the time!?”

“I’m not-....I’m not manipulating you, I’m not” he shook his head as he looked at her. “I didn’t expect a good reaction, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you!” he said, his voice growing louder by the sentence. “Look, I get that you people were raised with your morals and your consequences, but I wasn’t. I wish I could tell you that I know every time that I do something you would consider wrong, but I don’t. I’m working on it” he said before shaking his head, “No- if I’d been honest from the start, you would’ve been dead” he said as he looked back at her, straight-faced. “How can you expect me to want to tell you the truth when this is how you react to it? You say that you want the truth from me, but you don’t.” he shrugged, “No, you don’t want what’s honest from me, you don’t want to know me. You want me to be the version of me I was pretending to be when we met, and you get angry at me every time that I’m not.”

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

Victoria, who had been pacing back and forth across the floor, came to an abrupt halt as she glared back at him. “No, you’re not! Are you hearing yourself right now? Our entire friendship is based on a fucking lie!” Scoffing, she threw her arms out wide, undeniably at wit’s end as she continued to pace back and forth. “Oh, well thank God my sparkling personality kept you from tossing me into the Hudson River like some disposable trash,” she snarled, her emotions growing erratic. “You’re unbelievable. How can you sit there and call yourself my friend after the hell you put me through? But you wouldn’t have the slightest clue what keeping that secret did to me, would you? No, lying to everyone around you and putting up a facade is what you do best.”

Ryan just looked down as she yelled at him. “Maybe it started like that but that is not what it is, it hasn’t been for a long time” he said as he stood up and looked at her. “I’m not a good person, okay, I know that. I know I’ve done terrible things to you and I know you didn’t deserve anything I’ve done- but I am trying to be better, you know I am” he said as he looked at her. “I want to be better- that person that you met that’s not me, I’m different. Vic-... Please, I can’t lose you” he said as he looked at her. “You get mad at me when I lie to you and you get mad at me when I tell you the truth, there’s nothing I can do at this point. Please just...just tell me what I can do, I’ll do anything”

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

Her mind frantically flashed back to every single one of their encounters, and the more she thought about it, the more it sickened her. When Ryan broke the silence that had settled over them, she couldn’t help but scoff. “Right. So I could just go about my day, blissfully unaware that the guy I considered my friend has already mapped out ways to kill me if I snitched. Yeah, you sure did me a solid by hiding that from me, Ryan, how fucking considerate of you!” Her words were laced with sarcasm as she stood from the couch, too antsy to sit still when her emotions were in turmoil. 

Ryan sighed, looking back over at her. “I am your friend, Vic, I’m sorry” he said, finding that he apologized to her far too often for his liking. “If it helps at all, that plan changed when I got to know you- I wasn’t...I wasn’t going to do anything to hurt you” he said, but at this point he was sure that wouldn’t have helped.

[ryan-cotterr]

asliceofaiden‌:

@ryan-cotterr

Aiden had been comforting Juliet since she got home from her clash with Ryan. He still couldn’t believe his best friend would do such a thing, especially to his girlfriend. Sure, the dude was kind of a psycho, but that didn’t mean he was free to go all maniac whenever he felt like it. Juliet wasn’t one to cry or exploit overwhelming feelings, until now… and man, did she have a good reason. Rushing over to Ryan’s place, he parked his motorcycle right outside the luxurious building. “Is he home?” he asked the doorman who recognized Aiden at once, seeing it wasn’t exactly his first time visiting his so-called friend. At that point, he tried to seem cool, not keen on getting denied to go upstairs cause he’d start a damn riot. When getting a nod, he passed the desk and took the elevator, only to end up inside Ryan’s apartment. Instead of revealing his presence, his hand reached to knock on the wall in a ‘Shave and a Haircut’ kinda way. 

Ryan walked out into his living room and looked over at Aiden. “Aiden..” he paused, “I wasn’t expecting you today. what’re you doing here?” he asked, alrhough he figured he could probably guess what Aiden had come here for. There was no telling how this conversation was going to go, but Ryan assumed Aiden was not going to be happy with him. 

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

Victoria didn’t think her words would ever get through to him, but at least she’d said it out loud. Furrowing slightly, she tried to decipher his uneasy expression. Subconsciously she had prepared herself, but that didn’t stop her heart from missing a beat when he mentioned Ezra. Suddenly, the last piece of the puzzle fell into place. She’d had her suspicions for a while now but even so, it came as a shock to learn that the man Ezra had so rigorously warned her about had been Ryan all along. Someone who she’d put a lot of faith in, someone she’d considered a close friend for quite some time now. Perhaps she should’ve gone straight to the police. It sure as hell would’ve saved her a lot of trouble. Finding herself at a loss for words, she dropped her gaze to her lap, unable to look him in the eyes after what he’d revealed. 

Silence filled the air between him and he knew he should’ve lied about why he’d approached her. There wasn’t any recovering now, he was going to lose her as a friend now and this time it was going to be because he didn’t lie. “I told you you wouldn’t want to know” he said quietly, as he looked down, unsure of what he could say to her now. 

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

“Not if you would’ve had to suffer through it, no,” Victoria replied without a moment’s hesitation. “Listen… I know you did it with good intentions. But there’s a fine line between being selfish and selfless, and if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be good for anybody else in the end.” Shaking her head, she couldn’t help but sigh at his comment. “Yeah, people talk a lot of bullshit, we both know that. But I meant what I said, Ryan. I know what it’s like to have an addiction only to be judged for it,” she admitted, lifting her shoulders in a helpless shrug. They rarely talked about this kind of stuff, but now wasn’t the time to take the easy way out. The longer it took him to answer, the more anxious she became. She feared that her sneaking suspicion was right, and once he begged her to drop it, her heart sank. “Ryan… just… answer the question.” 

Nodding slowly, Ryan looked back at her. “Yeah okay that makes sense” he said after she’d explained further, knowing that he wouldn’t stop being self destructive anyway. He’d just have to adjust it around her. “Then I believe you” he said, closing his eyes for a few seconds when she told him to answer the question. “Okay um-...I don’t really...know how to say this” he said, taking a deep breath, “At the time, I had an employee by the name of Ezra, I’m sure you remember him. And it was brought to my attention that a young Victoria Greyson had seen something she shouldn’t have” he said, looking down. “You knew too much... you could’ve gone to police with that and I thought you would” he paused again. “I approached you that night because I had planned on killing you if you told anyone about Ezra, and it would be easier to keep tabs on you if you thought we were friends” he admitted.

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

Victoria sighed, “ — and I appreciate that, but you have to draw the line somewhere. For Christ’s sake, Ryan, you didn’t take your pills because you thought it would make me happy, and you almost collapsed right here in my living room — you don’t see what’s wrong with that?” Frowning, she shook her head. However, as he elaborated, she bit down on her lower lip. “I just hope you know that I wouldn’t judge you. I mean, we all have our coping strategies,” she reassured with a small shrug of her shoulders. She was slightly taken aback by his proposition, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t have any burning questions. “Uh, okay… well,” She contemplated for a second, before asking, “the night when we first met, why did you really approach me?” 

“Would it have made you happy? If I was able to do it, and we spent the rest of the day completely sober” he asked, just wanting to know. “People get mad at me for not caring about people and then people get mad at me for doing things because I care about people- honestly I don’t get it. I don’t know what people want from me anymore, I would like to tell you that I see what’s wrong with it but I can’t say that I do because I don’t.” he shook his head. “Everyone says that they won’t judge you” he looked back at her, waiting until she asked her question. Looking away from her, Ryan felt his heart drop. How was he supposed to answer that? He could lie, which would make her hate him, or he could tell her the truth, which would make her hate him. He didn’t know which one was worse at this point. He was silent for far too long after she’d asked him the question. “Please don’t-..” he paused, “Please don’t ask me to answer that. You really don’t want to know” he said, hoping she would accept that as an answer.

[ryan-cotterr]

charliefknmancini‌:

“No shit. You came this close to being carted off to the looney bin when you had to wear that fucking shoulder sling, I don’t wanna imagine what kind of monster you’d turn into if you wouldn’t be able to walk,” Charlie commented, pretending to touch his leg without actually doing so, “wait, you’re telling me you can’t actually feel me touching your leg right now?” Feigning a concerned expression, a mischievous smile curved her lips before she rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, I’m still gonna keep a close eye on you, you dumb fuck.” 

“Oh yeah, I’d lose my damn mind. I had to be on crutches at one point when I was in high school and I couldn’t count the number of times I threw a crutch at someone. I have to stop getting hurt, it’s not great” he said, looking over at her hand over his leg, “Don’t fuck with me, I know you’re not actually touching my leg, you ass” he laughed, lifting his leg to hit her hand, to be sure. “Yeah, yeah, I know”

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

Victoria sat back, allowing him to explain himself. She wasn’t surprised by what he unveiled, because he’d done the exact same thing as so many before him. “You see, that’s just it. I don’t need you to protect my feelings, Ryan,” she stated, her voice calm but firm. “Yeah, you’re right, I don’t like that you’re using, but what upsets me is that you try to hide it from me. I’m not some fragile doll that needs to be handled with kid gloves, don’t treat me like one. It’s humiliating and frankly, it just pisses me off that you keep the truth from me because you think I can’t handle it.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, why wouldn’t I try to protect your feelings?” he asked, not understanding. “I try to hide it from everyone, it’s not something that’s exclusive to you. It isn’t something I’m proud of, I don’t want people to know and I don’t want people involved. I promise that this situation is far more humiliating for me than it is for you. You want to know why I don’t tell you about these things? I am deeply ashamed of who I am and what I do, and I don’t like people seeing it” he shrugged, thinking back to when all of New York learned about what had happened to him when he was 12. He was humiliated, and he didn’t want that happening to him again. “You want the truth? Ask me a question”

[ryan-cotterr]

charliefknmancini‌:

“You greedy fuck,” she quipped and followed him towards the seating area. “Serves you right for starting without me. I hope you never walk again.” Tossing her purse to the floor, she joined him on the couch and lifted his legs across her lap. "Oh, I’ve never heard that one before. Did you come up with that all on your own?”

“If I didn’t walk again, I’d lose my fucking mind” he shook his head, “If you keep talking about that right now I’m going to get so paranoid about it, I swear” he said with a small laugh, before looking back at her. “It’s not-...like that, I’m fine, I mean it. It’s just fun, it’s okay”

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

“No?” she repeated, sighing as he explained further. “If you think I don’t know how hard it is to open up to people, then you clearly don’t know me at all… I don’t expect you to talk about personal stuff unless you want to. But I do expect honesty,” she said, arching an eyebrow at him. “You tried to pass your drug withdrawal off as just the flu. You call that trying?”

“I meant that it’s hard for me to change what I’ve been doing my entire life. I have been lying to people my entire life, I can’t just flip and switch and suddenly be 100% honest, it’s not that simple” he looked back at her. “I didn’t take those pills today before coming here because I know it hurts you that I’m using and I thought I could go through the day without it to make you happy. When that backfired, I didn’t want to tell you what was happening because I thought it would upset you. The only thing I’m guilty of is trying to protect your feelings”

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

“You’re just sorry,” she echoed with a disheartened scoff. “You know, I thought we were past the days when you would try to pull the damn wool over my eyes, but I guess that’s just another habit we can add to your list.” They locked eyes for a moment, but his request urged her to pull her gaze away as she huffed, “Whatever. It’s not like I can’t expect an honest answer from you anyway.”

“No- it’s not like that-” he sighed, not sure how to explain it. “I don’t want to lie to you, I don’t. But it’s not that easy for me to be open with people- you don’t get it. This is something I have kept to myself and not talked to anyone about for fifteen years, it’s not easy for me to change that now” he shook his head, looking back at her. “I may not be good at it yet but I’m trying, doesn’t that count for something?”

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

Victoria was at a loss for words. On one hand, she wanted to give him a piece of her mind, to berate him for letting it go this far. But it would be pointless, and frankly, rather hypocritical of her. Pursing her lips, she shook her head as he apologized over and over again. “— and what exactly are you sorry for?” she wondered, glancing him for a moment. 

Still looking away from her so he wouldn’t have to see her face, he shook his head. “I-...I don’t know, everything I guess” he shrugged. “Sorry you had to see that, sorry I let you think I was just sick, I don’t know- I’m just sorry” he said, finally turning to look at her. “Is it too much if I ask that we don’t talk about what just happened?” he asked, really not wanting a speech about his drug habits right now.

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

“Don’t —” she said, brushing it off with a wave of her hand, “it’s okay, I know how much you hate hospitals.” Strangely enough, a part of her had gotten used to his sudden outbursts. Not that it justified his behavior by any means, but she was somewhat able to recognize and separate the times he was all bark and no bite. She’d learned that the hard way. Pursing her lips, she sat back down next to him and furrowed her brows once the pleading words left his mouth. Hate him? What possible reason would make him think that she would hate him for this? But it all made sense when he pulled the pill bottle out of his jacket pocket. She immediately recognized the label. It was the same type of pills the doctor had prescribed him when they had been at the hospital, after the horrific food truck explosion. “And here I thought you just had a nasty cold,” she muttered, a scoff falling from her lips as she pulled her gaze away from him. No, he wasn’t suffering from the flu, he was suffering from major drug withdrawals. She should’ve guessed it, and because she didn’t, she now felt stupid for thinking otherwise. 

“No, it doesn’t matter I shouldn’t have yelled” he shook his head, keeping his head down. He had less control over his temper in this state, and he wasn’t very good at controlling himself normally. “I’m sorry” he repeated, still not looking over at her. “I thought I could go without it and uh..... turns out I can’t” he said, his voice just sounding disappointed. He finally looked back over at her to try and see what she was thinking. “....I’m sorry”

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

Victoria sighed as he once again insisted that he could handle this. Clearly, he couldn’t. But just as she was about to make another comment on it, his sudden outburst made her jump back. “Okay, okay, no doctors. Got it,” she uttered, raising her hands in defense. By now, she knew he wasn’t fond of hospitals, but judging by the poor condition he was in, someone ought to take a closer look at him. “Um…. okay?” It was an odd request, fetching his jacket, but she decided to oblige. Returning to the couch seconds later, she handed the jacket to him. “What do you need that for?” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, I don’t want to scare you, I’m sorry” he said, calmly, still feeling like he should walk on eggshells around her given their strange past. He didn’t want to scare her again, and he was going to do anything in his power to make sure he didn’t. “I just really….really don’t want to go to the hospital” he said, having been there far too many times in his life for problems with his drug habit. Taking the jacket from her, he paused. “Just-…” he paused, looking at her. “Don’t hate me…please.” he said before taking a deep breath and pulling out a pill bottle. The bottle contained the prescription he got for his injured shoulder, but he was supposed to be off his meds for weeks. The doctors didn’t know about Ryan’s drug habits when they prescribed him the medication, but drugs that strong for someone with an addiction this bad was never a good combination. Opening the bottle, Ryan took two of the pills before closing it again and placing it back in his jacket pocket with a shaky hand. “I’ll be okay once it kicks in…” he said, his voice quieter now and he avoided looking at Vicky, not wanting to imagine what her reaction was right now.

[ryan-cotterr]

thevickygreyson‌:

If there was one thing Victoria hated more than anything in the world, it was feeling helpless, whether it was in regards to herself or to the people closest to her. Clearly, he wasn’t doing fine at all, but she didn’t know what she could do to help. Judging from his hunched position and pale features, he looked as if he was about to pass out. “You know, repeatedly saying that you’re fine doesn’t make it more believable,” she remarked, placing a soothing hand on his uninjured shoulder in an effort to comfort him in some way. “Wow… see, now I know you’re really sick because you’d never admit that out loud.” Keeping her eyes locked on Ryan, she shook her head slightly. “Just tell me what I can do to help… Do you need me to call a doctor or something?”

Weighting his options, Ryan knew he couldn’t keep this up for much longer without throwing up all over her floor or collapsing on the ground. “I’m going to be fine, I can fix this” he said, mainly to reassure himself and not her. “No! No doctors- I don’t need a doctor” he said, almost too quickly after she had suggested it. “Could you just...hand me my jacket?” he said, deciding that this option was his only real option unless he wanted to end up in the hospital. She was going to hate it, and she was probably going to hate him for it, but he needed a hit- nothing major to get him high off his ass, but just enough to keep him going.