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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@ryanhummela-blog
text Ryan
Matt: I don't know it's annoying, I'm not good at anything and I don't care to be.
Ry: I mean that's not true, everyone's good at something maybe you just haven't found it. You haven't tried everything in the world therefore you don't know if you're good at something.
Ry: I'm sure she's just trying to be nice Matt, don't push her off.
Lash Out. // Ryan and Maddie
fckxmaddie:
“Fine, maybe I’ll just stop caring then if it’s so bad.” Maddie crossed her arms turning away from him. “It doesn’t mean that everything is okay Ryan. How do I know something isn’t bothering you? You need to talk to me.”
“You don’t need to stop caring and don’t even threaten that like you could.” He snapped. “Everything is okay for what you need to be concerned about. I’m just having an off night. It happens. Everything is bothering me.”
The City that Never Sleeps // Maddie x Ryan
fckxmaddie:
“Okay that’s creepy, I don’t want to picture anyone breaking it anywhere.” Maddie flopped down on the bed next to Ryan. “I really needed this, after this week, I needed to get away from Allentown and my dads. The drama will all be there when we get back.” She turned her head looking over at him. “Where do you want to start? We passed a liittle chinese place if you want to go and get dinner and we can just walk for a bit. Can’t do much cause it’s so late.”
“Oh yeah it will be, Allentown never stops with the drama.” He laughed a little bit. “I’m okay with whatever you want to do. I would be down to walk around, maybe I can find some cool street art, get some inspiration.” He laughed, turning to look at her. “Let’s just not walk too late, again with the people in this city. Getting mugged is like an actual thing that happens here.”
text Ryan
Matt: This girl is trying to help me find out what I'm good at...
Ry: Oh really? Why's that?
text Ryan
Matt: Where did you go brother?
Ry: I'm out for the weekend, what's up?
Lash Out. // Ryan and Maddie
fckxmaddie:
“Because I’m your best friend that’s not what I do, i can’t just let shit go Ryan!” Maddie said turning she was facing him fully. Maddie almost hadn’t been able to respond. He never snapped at her and she never snapped at him. It just wasn’t in their nature. They didn’t argue, they didn’t yell. They didn’t snap at each other.
“I’m sure you could if you tried.” He said under his breath. It wasn’t like him to be this petty but not having access to the drug is just something he’s never experienced before. “I’m here, I didn’t get picked up by the cops and I’m not hurt. That should be enough.”
The City that Never Sleeps // Maddie x Ryan
ffckxmaddie:
Maddie slowly pushed open the door to the room, holding it open for Ryan. With the stressful weekend they had had it felt good to get away from Allentown just for a short weekend. Maddie hopped onto the bed. “I’m so glad my grandpa sprung for this room. Or else we’d be at some run down cheap one for this weekend.” Maddie stood up again, she didn’t know how she had this much energy despite the long trip and the long day at school. She pulled open the windows looking down at the city. “It’s beautiful here.”
Ryan followed his best friend into their hotel room for the weekend. He tossed his bag on the bed and jumped on it landing in a laying down position. “Yeah, not sure I’d want to be in a cheap motel in the city. I’m pretty tough but the people in this city could probably beat my ass. Not sure how much protection I could offer if someone broke in.” He laughed, looking over at Maddie as she opened the windows. “I can’t see but once I get up I’m sure it will be so pretty.” he playfully mocked.
Lash Out. // Ryan and Maddie
fckxmaddie:
Maddie looked away as Ryan sat next to her flipping on the TV. She pulled her knees up to her chest before pulling out the French dictionary that she always kept with her reviewing some words in her head. She slowly snuck a glance at Ryan, she could tell something was wrong but she didn’t know how to speak to him without him blowing up at her. “Don’t shut me out, if something is wrong,” She finally said after the show that was on the TV went to commercial.
“Jesus Maddie, why can’t you just let it be?” He snapped, he didn’t mean to he was actually trying so hard not to. Had she brought up something else maybe he wouldn’t have minded a small conversation. But she stayed on the subject, the one he felt guilty about. He wouldn’t be having an issue if he wasn’t addicted to drugs, but he is and it’s his own fault. But, it’s easier to not blame himself.
claringsmythebry:
Oh, I see. I can get you some if you want.
Really? You shouldn’t do this shit bro, it’s horrible for you. But I mean I don’t need anything serious. Just some pain killers if you have any.
Lash Out. // Ryan and Maddie
fckxmaddie:
“Alright…” Maddie looked down, moving away from the bathroom. She could tell he was on edge and she didn’t want to push him much farther. Maddie went back to the bed, waiting for Ryan to come back out to the bedroom. The silence was unbearable. There was never silence with them, if there was it always meant something was wrong. “You’d tell me if something was wrong right?” She spoke up finally breaking the silence.
Ryan shut the light off and walked out of the bathroom, running his hand through his hair. He took a deep breath when he heard her ask another question. “Yes, Maddie. I would tell you if it was serious.” He sat down on his bed next to her and grabbed the remote that sat on the bedside table, flipping on the tv in silence.
Lash Out. // Ryan and Maddie
fckxmaddie:
Maddie sighed watching him barely pay attention to her killed her. This was already not them and she didn’t want to intrude to the house if he didn’t want her there. “Yeah, and I practiced for my interview..” Maddie hopped off the bed, readjusting her shorts walking across the room to the bathroom. “Are you okay?” She asked gently reaching out and resting her hand on his shoulder.
Ryan nodded, scrubbing his hands harder. “Good.” He felt her hand touch his shoulder and it felt like pins and needles. He didn’t like that he was so on edge. She asked him a simple question and he could feel his blood boiling. “I’m fine.” he bit, shrugging off her hand and turning off the water. He moved to the towel that was hanging on the wall and began to aggressively wipe them dry.
Lash Out. // Ryan and Maddie
fckxmaddie:
Maddie’s nerves were keeping her up, simple as that. From the moment she got to the Hummel Andersons, she had been practicing. She called up friends from France, talking to them having them critique her speaking. She couldn’t mess one thing up when it came to this interview, it would ruin her future. She was sitting on Ryan’s bed her back against the pillows as she finished up her last assignment that had been pushed aside, with her impending interview. She couldn’t deny that there was a part of her that was purposely waiting up for Ryan. She hadn’t seen him all day and she knew something was off. She had to know something was off, she knew Ryan to well to be wrong about this stuff. She heard the door slowly creak open. She assumed he thought that she was asleep. She set the text book and notebook at the foot of the bed turning to face the door. “Ry?” She spoke up quietly knowing that everyone at home was still asleep.
Ryan heard Maddie’s quiet voice speak up as he stepped in the door. “Hey.” He said quietly, now pushing the door the rest of the way open since she was awake and shutting it behind him. He walked over to his dresser and threw his house key in a bowl that sat there. Ryan had a small bathroom connected to his room, with only a sink, a mirror and a toilet. He went in and turned on the water, splashing some on his face and beginning to wash his hands which were covered in the paint. “You get your homework done?” He asked, not looking up from his hands and remaining distant. He was doing his best not to make too much conversation. He was banking on her being asleep so he didn’t have to worry about lashing out on accident.
claringsmythebry:
They make pills for that, y’know?
Yes they do. But they’re not the kind of pills I’m looking for.
fckxmaddie:
It’s always a risk Ryan, interviews can go either way esspecially when your doing that interview in a complete other language. I guess I’m going to miss my favorite dead beat then, if that’s really how you consider yourself.
Yeah but you’ve been practicing, you’ll do just fine. Hey, at least I’m your favorite deadbeat, that means something.
Lash Out. // Ryan and Maddie
Ryan had been walking alone since school got out. He had been an ass to pretty much anyone he talked to that day. He ran out of the pain medication because he hadn’t been keeping better track of it lately, taking more than he usually did. The guy he usually bought from only had so many and due to the influx of pills he had been taking lately he was out two days before he usually picks up more. He had called his dealer and asked him if he could buy early but the guy didn’t have any yet, having not expected his call two days early. So, Ryan left school before the final bell and went to the abandoned tracks. He had a lot of work there, it was starting to look like a mural. His favorite things to spray were Maddie’s favorite things. He sprayed the breed of puppies she liked, he sprayed bright flowers that reminded him of her, there were days he could come and just spray whatever she had commented she liked that day. There was a small chocolate chip cookie he added the day Maisy made cookies and Maddie loved them. She has secretly always been his muse, the way to make him calm down when he started acting like an ass. Some bad days that meant talking to her, on the worse days it meant going to spray so he didn’t take anything out on her. He had never run out of the pills before, this is the first time in the year he has been on them he’s run out. He knew he was going to get irritable so he tried to be alone. This was when Maddie had texted him though, she needed a place to stay after getting into an argument with her dads. A fight Smythe probably started, no doubt. He had to let her come over, he was her person. So, he told her he wouldn’t be in for a while. She had said she would be up when he got home but he was really hoping she wouldn’t be, because he was in a terrible mood and knew he would snap on her without meaning to. With that he put the key in the front door and walked into the home. He walked up the stairs as quietly as possible and slowly cracked open his bedroom door.
fckxmaddie:
I still have to get in, which is going to be the hardest part, I have an interview tomorrow. And that’s still in a few months.
The fact that you’re actually worried you won’t get in is hilarious to me. It’s gonna happen, but it will probably be the best thing for you. To get out of this shitty town with all of us deadbeats.
bribriabrams:
Just don’t get hit by any ghost trains…okay that was a bad joke I’m sorry
Yeah, I’ll make sure to watch out for those.
