i'm a fucking wildcard.

Ryan Steele, residential gay baby i don't do anything but at least Stephen Gomez loves me i like beating myself up and kissing my husband's face (rp blog)

[ryank-steele]

if stress is a big trigger year round for my ICD you should see me during the holidays

i’m practically tearing myself apart

[ryank-steele]

brain: hey u should act on this impulse that might have bad consequences

me: why

brain: You Gotta

[ryank-steele]

here’s a fun throwback for my luv’s birthday

[ryank-steele]

how do i even do a real journal tbh these days i just ramble behind a read more.

i’m doing okay and it’s weird.  i take a lot of meds but they work.  i don’t even feel like shit most the time.  i just don’t do stupid stuff and it’s fine.  and that’s really, really weird for me.  like i’m a whole new person, and i don’t dislike it.  i’m fine with it.  i want to be who i am without the bad parts.  and lately i’ve been okay at being him.

[do-not-touch-my-food]

Butterfinger Ice Cream Pie

[to-eternal-darkness-deactivated]

[ryank-steele]

i got so used to bleeding i don’t know who i am without my knuckles covered in blood.

[fuckin-in-love]

[grickgrack]

[ryank-steele]

i miss Tyler.  i miss Justin.  i miss Rain.  i miss Zack.  i miss Caleb.

sometimes all i can do is crack my knuckles and hold my fists trying not to destroy everything in my path when i think about them.

i miss them so much i drive myself fucking crazy.  just thinking about the people that left.  i get so angry i can’t see straight.  i can’t think about people i loved without sending myself into an episode and it scares me a lot.

i miss them.  i miss everyone.

[girlikaros]

Eric Halvorsen + Ryan Steele

[ryank-steele]

it’s weird, remembering how bad impulses used to be.

how did i just.  steal a dog?  how is that a thing i just did?

and that’s progress, right? looking back and not remembering how or why i let it get so bad?

that has to be some kind of progress.

[ryank-steele]

here’s an important throwback of this emo burrito and myself

[ryank-steele]

remember when i impulsively stole Beauregard from a pet store even though i thought he was ugly but then Eric never let me bring him back

[ryank-steele]

look at these beautiful morons

[stephen-bromez]

Ryan’s tag #lil burrito of emotions is probably the actual most accurate description of me.

[ryank-steele]

that’s why it’s ur tag

[mitten]