🖼️ Official Royal Family Portrait 🖼️
I have to admit, I’m thoroughly entertained. Not despite the absurdity - but because of it.
This entire „romance” has all the production values of a bargain-basement soap opera written for viewers who aren’t inclined to ask too many questions. It’s gloriously low-rent. Think D-movie territory: tiny budget, wooden acting, paper-thin script. And now, with the Official Royal Family Portrait proudly occupying the Instagram profile picture? Chef’s kiss.
That said, let’s focus for a moment on the child’s cap at the bottom of the photo.
From the earliest images at the distillery, there has been a recurring pattern. 🌀 appears to use her daughter as emotional body armour, as though the daughter’s presence discourages criticism and shields her from accusations of being an inadequate mother.
And once again, in Mallorca, the daughter is there.
Think about it for a moment. If this was supposed to be a romantic getaway for a newly “in love” couple - the kind of trip where the lovers are supposedly spending every waking moment having wild, passionate sex - why bring a child? And why choose family-oriented Mallorca instead of party-centric Ibiza (if they’re already opting for budget Spain)?
As for the endlessly repeated fantasies about SRH and 🌀’s supposedly extraordinary sex life, most parents will recognise how implausible they are. Children sleeping in the next room, unfamiliar surroundings, interrupted nights, and days spent at the pool, eating ice cream or sightseeing - family holidays rarely resemble the fantasies imagined by online commentators.
So perhaps we can file the fantasies spun on a certain blog - about this extraordinary sex life flourishing with a nine-year-old sleeping just beyond the wall - under fairy tales.
[ Leaving aside the fact that this entire “romance” is nothing more than a setup.]
Meanwhile, over on X, formerly Twitter…
Yes, this story is clearly aimed at people who struggle with even the most basic social perception. Some genuinely fail to see the dynamic between these two people or to read their body language. They don’t notice SRH repeatedly shaking 🌀 off in public as though she were an annoying fly. They don’t see the distance, the indifference, or the lack of reciprocal engagement. To me, that’s an extraordinarily poor reading of human relationships.
Instead, they see a picture-perfect family: a lifelong bachelor, a woman twice married, and a child whose father is alive, present, and actively involved in her life.
If that’s someone’s definition of a fairy-tale family, I can only conclude that their understanding of human relationships is remarkably poor.
