Fangs up

Eric OR Halvo OR Castiel Sometimes I get really sad. Ryan Keith Steele is the absolute love of my life and he's all mine. {rp blog, calm yourself}

[ericjsteelvo]

I still feel like everything was my fault, but.

I’m trying to focus more on the positives every morning.

Like Beauregard’s cold little noise pressed up against my cheek or the weight of Ryan’s arm on my hip or John just existing as a person.

I’m still sad but I’m okay.

[vampirewknd]

[scrambledeggs-scatteredbrains]

Friendship goals.

Via Halvos instagram.

[ericjsteelvo]

This is all my fault.

That’s all I can think about.

That’s all I can focus on.

This is all my fault.

Gabe won’t tell me directly but

I know.

This is all entirely my fault.

[girlikaros]

Eric Halvorsen + Ryan Steele

[cameronlay-he]

Halvo and Sam are my sons

Sam D is also my son

[ericjsteelvo]

wait how long have you been my father?

I feel like Luke Skywalker rn

[ryank-steele]

look at these beautiful morons

[ryank-steele]

remember when i impulsively stole Beauregard from a pet store even though i thought he was ugly but then Eric never let me bring him back

[ericjsteelvo]

I LOVE BEAUREGARD

[ericjsteelvo]

I am such an asshole i completely forgot to congratulate Stephen and John so here I am a month later

Congrats

[ericjsteelvo]

Sometimes I just get so low that forget what the point of it all is.

Why am I married why am i breathing why am I awake why am i in a band why do i do anything?

And it’s like clockwork.

Ryan is holding my hand.

He’s stroking my hair and telling me that he loves me and is feeding me and calling me a baby deer just like he did way back when.

I’m still insanely low but.

I know why I’m married.  My husband loves me.  I am awake and alive and breathing and I love creating music and I love Ryan and you know what?

I love myself.

My bones are heavy but I’m okay with myself.

[mark-usmiani]

A little wonderful fall portrait to celebrate the end of that horrendous time period known as summer. 

[punkfobs-deactivated20170814]

Eric spilling the truth

[ericjsteelvo]

I think the worst part is waking up one morning and just feeling that shift.  Feeling the weight of the world in your bones.  Typing this is a struggle, and I don’t even want to.  My therapist thinks that it has to do with the changing season, and I think that’s crazy, but it’s easier to blame the seasons then to continue to admit it’s just me and my brain chemicals that are fucked up.

The worst part is it doesn’t ever sneak up on me.  I can be the happiest boy in the whole world one day and the next just eating feels like the world’s biggest chore and I just want to sleep forever.

The worst part is I had huge plans this week/month.  At the end of this month I wanted to see if we could figure out a double date with me and Ry and John and Stephen and maybe go do dorky fall things.  I guess that’s off the table now.

The worst part is, I know deep down that everyone is so disappointed in me because I keep ruining plans.

The worst part is, I think I kind of hate myself for it.  And I don’t blame them if they do to.

[ericjsteelvo]

They used to call me "Hover Hand Halvo" in high school. Miss that place everyday. #takemeback #glorydays #tbt

[vampirewknd]

[ericjsteelvo]

Cobras never say die

[ericjsteelvo]

Sleep eyes

[tylers-sink]