WHAT

[girlcalledevan]

You so are. And hey you should have been a dad a long time ago too. It’s a good thing but don’t worry, I’ll let people think you’re a jack ass in public, only I know you’re not. I won’t ruin your precious little rep there babe. Earn it? Haven’t I already earned at least one pin number? Jesus what do I have to do? Fuck you in public?

[ryderwinthrop]

Some people are born ready to be awesome, you know, like me. I’m always a jerk, that’s what you have to tell everyone, tell them I’m super scary and tough, but hot as hell.  Please, I’m not that easy, you’re asking me to trust you my entire bank account. Maybe it’s empty, have you thought about that? Maybe I’m just tricking you to believe I have tons of money.

[girlcalledevan]

You may be safe. I have ways of getting it out of you. Seriously? Christ, you really are a dad. I guess it’s fine as long as he doesn’t turn into some asshole when he grows up, then he wouldn’t be like you.. and fucking hell God forbid he winds up with a bitch as fucked up as me. You’d share this money with me though right?

[ryderwinthrop]

I know you can, it might be fun to see you try. I am, ain’t I? Does it make me less tough? Hey, is calling me not an asshole a good or a bad thing? Because I have a reputation I want to keep. I would share it with you, yeah, but you’d have to earn it.

[ryderwinthrop]

girlcalledevan:

Aww, well you know that’s my aim. Turn you into a puddle of goo and then wash you down the shower drain - but all that won’t come until I know all your pin numbers to your bank accounts so I can clean them out. The monster wants you by the way, I think I need to learn to not put him near your clothes, he keeps trying to put them on…It’s disturbing that he’s trying to be like you already.

Okay so as long as my bank account stays private, I’ll be safe, right? He likes me because I keep telling him how I fought all of the monsters on his books and he thinks I’m a hella tough guy. I’m almost like a super hero, except that I would steal money and keep it to myself instead of sharing it with the poor ones.

[ryderwinthrop]

girlcalledevan:

Well it’s good to know where your loyalties lie. They lie in bed, but the same for you, if you weren’t good in bed and didn’t know when to shut the fuck up I’d boot you to the curb in a New York minute.

Aren’t you such a romantic? Like, please, don’t be so nice, my heart is almost melting I don’t think I can deal with such sweet and kind words.

[ryderwinthrop]

rosa--walsh:

I slept completely through the night for the first time in weeks about… two days ago. The last time I took a power nap? Yesterday.

That’s a pretty fucked up schedule

[ryderwinthrop]

girlcalledevan:

Yeah, yeah, it’s not easy. Having this little leech has made me soft. Don’t doubt that I won’t kick someone’s ass though if it really came down to it because I would. At least I’m still a tiger in bed, you still have that going for ya.

I would never even dare to doubt that, or you’d probably end up kicking my ass. Please, if you weren’t good I would dump you in a second.

[ryderwinthrop]

rosa--walsh:

As much fun as being on tour was, I’m beyond ready for some time off to, you know, indulge in a lost luxury known as sleep. I should probably try and be productive and work on new music, but fuck that for now.

How long has it been since your last nap?

[ryderwinthrop]

{girlcalledevan:}

She kind of went into hibernation after she had a kid who she doesn’t want to turn out like a major fuck up like his mom is.

Yeah well she should come back since I think she’s hilarious, and well, the mom has some help now anyways

[ryderwinthrop]

thelastunicorny:

Only you, would find that fun. People are never going to fucking leave me alone are they? I’m always going to want to beat someone upside the head with a baseball bat, right?

Nah, they wont ever stop but you need to start having fun with it, come on, where is the Evan that would punch them with no doubt? You will always want to do that and maybe you should start doing just that, maybe then they wont mess with you

[ryderwinthrop]

girlcalledevan:

So..a chick with tattoos and piercings, who happens to curse like a sailor is apparently a really bad fucking role model for their kid. Wonder if punching them in their face would be even worse…

It could be worse but it would be hella fun

[ryderwinthrop]

meredith--werner:

I’m not really sure what gave you the impression that I’m rich. A few bucks, no, probably not right away unless I pulled up my charge list. More than that, yeah.

Well there goes my plan of stealing your wallet then

[ryderwinthrop]

meredith--werner:

I’d probably laugh about the charges eventually if they were for really random shit. But until they’re taken off, I’d be angry at the entire world and… yeah it wouldn’t be a pretty sight.

Aren’t you rich, though? Would you notice if you missed a few bucks?

[ryderwinthrop]

meredith--werner:

That’s for sure, I had my debit card stolen once when I was still in high school, but fortunately that was easy enough to cancel and order a new one.

Well it’s always good not to worry about people using your money for shit, unless they buy cool stuff, then I guess I’d be proud

[ryderwinthrop]

meredith--werner:

Especially an iPhone which is ridiculously easy to lock up and then hunt down. 

Well at least the asshole stole your phone and not your wallet. Getting your id, licence and credit cards again is a pain in the ass

[ryderwinthrop]

meredith--werner:

I don’t think they’re going to jail for it unless I find out they’ve made like fifty calls to China or something stupid. They still have to pick up trash on the side of the road for who knows how long though, so still stupid.

What a moron, if you steal a phone you either sell it or get rid of it after using it for a few hours, you don’t keep it to yourself.

[ryderwinthrop]

meredith--werner:

Dear Georgina Frank, I hope you enjoy your community service and having to pay a fine that’s probably more than my credit card bill and I really hope it was worth stealing my phone. 

Who goes to jail for stealing a phone? What a loser

[victoriaxwells-blog]

Not really proud, just the first day I have had off in about a month so I thought I deserved to be lazy.

[ryderwinthrop]

Oh well that’s different, then. I’m not good at doing nothing.