trapped. unable to escape. you are..
we, people with friends and families, get to talk about how to cut someone off our lives.
how easy it is to just stay away, be away, block/unfriend that someone if they aren't healthy for our well-being.
but the difficulty you experience after what's said and done, isn't talked much and well enough.
how are you trapped by your own actions?
why is it that instead of freedom, you are held captive?
captivated by those own hands who chose to let go—why?
trapped in those unknown emotions... w-what emotions?
lost, sorrow, emptiness, confusion, longing, anger, self-hatred, guilt ???
you are guilty for letting go.
you are guilty for letting go—perhaps, your mind says "for giving up" on that person.
"you should've been more understanding,"
"you were too sensitive,"
"they never left you but you did,"
"you shouldn't have done that,"
poor you. trapped in your own emotions by your own actions. captive by your will of freedom.
forget everything and move on. distract yourself and be happy. just go with the flow.
you could just get over it, right?
you own your mind but why can't you OWN it?
control it. control it. control it.
you did that, live with it.
but it sure will pass like other memories of yours you've kept.
everything passes, let it pass.
the chaos you made—no, the chaos that has been made in your mind, it will pass someday.
you cannot escape from it. face it. it will be over soon.
it's been a long time so why are you still not over it?
what else is keeping you from moving on?
from the things I see, the voices I hear, to the pictures I still keep—you are everywhere.
it's funny how you've tried so hard to keep your mind off of it but destiny has some silly tricks to play with you.
"you seem to get your mind off of them... haha! let me slap this on your face."
and that's where it hits you.
once again, you unintentionally remember that person.
you choose to do something for you own, maybe for the both of your benefits, but it will always come back to you.
it will hit you, making you feel like you're still doing something wrong.
like a virus spreading everywhere, making you think like you'll never be able to escape from it.
but was it your fault? was your feelings invalid? are you so wrong for cutting them off your life?
it's not so wrong for you to do something if you only wanted peace of mind.
you did it out of self-care for your well-being, and self-care is never a wrong thing to do.
maybe, just maybe, you ended things incorrectly.
you've hurt them. you've said things you don't actually mean. you've made them feel as though they were someone they were not. you've made them feel bad about themselves, and so did they.
but is there really a way to end things correctly? appropriately? nonetheless, you both would still have gotten hurt in the end.
you may be wrong but you can learn from that.
don't mind it too much. you did what you think is best for the both of you.
but I won't deny, it's weird isn't it?
how you both know each other but consider yourselves strangers, and how you're both strangers who share some treasurable memories.
prguitarman
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
germansingergirl