I think I understand it now.
I think I’m free. I’m letting her go.
We had a whole conversation last night while she was drunk.
I think she’s in good hands. I’m hopeful she may find someone that loves her. She told me about a few other people who may actually love her more than I do (including Charlie, surprisingly), which I thought was impossible. These people are so nice to her. She gets different things from each of these people, each with their own specific benefits. Altogether, combined, they are better than just me.
And for the first time in a while, I think that’s okay.
They’re younger or sometimes older than me, but most importantly, they’re newer than me. She’s happy, and she’s on the search for irl love, something that she’s always wanted even as a kid.
We’ve talked about this before. I don’t want to keep her as a caged bird; she would be much happier getting love from someone who isn’t just a screen.
Am I still hurt? Yes, of course I am. My love, my baby, is gone. But she might truly experience my dream with someone else, and I’m genuinely happy for her. I hope whenever she finds a good boy, it works out.
I might not see her next year if she does.
Maybe I should try looking for someone else too.
But if she ever makes it really far, I might show up to her wedding uninvited with ill intentions, like Kill Bill.
I’m keeping my distance so she has a chance. It’s bitter sweet but I’m feeling better. I can make peace with this.
titsay
snowghoul
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
romaincrisis
