big teeth for stabbing

which sabertooth is the most well optimized? which fangy feline (or not feline) should be crowned as the baddest biter of all time?

[sabertooth-showdown]

WELCOME TO THE SABERTOOTH SHOWDOWN.

Saber-toothed (adjective): having long, sharp canine teeth

Admittedly, this is a fairly niche topic, so before actually constructing the bracket and releasing the matchups, I think it’s important to give a background for each taxon. That way, everyone will have at least a little bit of information to base their votes on!

The competitors will be organized at the genus rank, as many are extinct and there simply isn’t a whole lot we can infer about the variation between some species from only their fossils.

Each competitor will have a dedicated post including their overall ecological success, as well as my personal opinion of how they would rank in a tier list format. If you disagree with any of my arguments, please feel free to voice your opinion, as well as argue for the placement you feel is most appropriate for each competitor.

I will tag each background/rank post by the competitor’s genus, family, and class.

CURRENT COMPETITORS

There are currently 22 genera included in the tournament. Organized by family, they are as follows:

Felidae: Homotherium, Megantereon, Xenosmilus, Machairodus, Smilodon, Neofelis, Dinofelis

Nimravidae: Nimravus, Hoplophoneus, Dinictis, Quercylurus

Barbourofelidae: Barbourofelis

Oxyaenidae: Machaeroides

Thylacosmilidae: Thylacosmilus

Gorgonopsidae: Inostrancevia, Lycaenops

Lystrosauridae: Lystrosaurus

Anomocephaloidae: Tiarajudens

Stahleckeriidae: Lisowicia

Cervidae: Hydropotes

Cercopithecidae: Papio

Uintatheriidae: Uintatherium

If you have a genus in mind that you think should be included, please submit it, as well as your personal appraisal of their rank!

[sabertooth-showdown]

GENUS: INOSTRANCEVIA

(no common name available)

LONGEVITY: About 6 million years

DISTRIBUTION: Isolated (European Russia only)

NOTABLE ATTRIBUTES:

Huge size makes it resistant to damage and very intimidating

Jaw morphology suggests high bite force, something not characteristic of sabertoothed predators

Double-edged serrations on all teeth, including canines and incisors

Tooth regeneration

Large, sturdy skull capable of withstanding high stress

WEAKNESSES

Lower speed and maneuverability due to semi-sprawling stance

Poor stamina due to lower metabolism than true mammals

Low intelligence

Only has one reliable weapon (jaws), as its limbs were not strong or flexible enough to be used in climbing or combat

Inostrancevia was an absolute powerhouse of an animal, and at 11ft long, one of its species may have been the largest sabertoothed carnivore ever. At first glance, inostrancevia is an easy high tier, but when one takes a closer look some glaring inadequacies become apparent. While its impressively long lifespan and ecological dominance as an apex predator certainly seem impressive, it’s important to understand the environment in which this animal existed. The better adapted true mammals had not evolved yet, meaning that inostrancevia faced little genuine competition in its niche. So, while it was the undisputed S tier of its time, when taken out of context and put up against the later high efficiency and high intelligence pack hunters of this list, it’s clear that inostrancevia is lacking in some serious regards. Its low mobility and poor endurance would have made it an inefficient and unsuccessful predator in the age of mammals, and its low intelligence would have assured that it could not innovate its way out of this position. One could say it’s unfair to compare a stem mammal to the objectively better true mammal build, but that’s what we’re here to do, and aside from its massive size and damage output inostrancevia lacks the powerful abilities and basic efficiency that would constitute a high placement in such a competitive bracket.

I give inostrancevia the rank of high C tier.

[sabertooth-showdown]

ok so that was a fucking lie

[sabertooth-showdown]

GENUS: INOSTRANCEVIA

(no common name available)

LONGEVITY: About 6 million years

DISTRIBUTION: Isolated (European Russia only)

NOTABLE ATTRIBUTES:

Huge size makes it resistant to damage and very intimidating

Jaw morphology suggests high bite force, something not characteristic of sabertoothed predators

Double-edged serrations on all teeth, including canines and incisors

Tooth regeneration

Large, sturdy skull capable of withstanding high stress

WEAKNESSES

Lower speed and maneuverability due to semi-sprawling stance

Poor stamina due to lower metabolism than true mammals

Low intelligence

Only has one reliable weapon (jaws), as its limbs were not strong or flexible enough to be used in climbing or combat

Inostrancevia was an absolute powerhouse of an animal, and at 11ft long, one of its species may have been the largest sabertoothed carnivore ever. At first glance, inostrancevia is an easy high tier, but when one takes a closer look some glaring inadequacies become apparent. While its impressively long lifespan and ecological dominance as an apex predator certainly seem impressive, it’s important to understand the environment in which this animal existed. The better adapted true mammals had not evolved yet, meaning that inostrancevia faced little genuine competition in its niche. So, while it was the undisputed S tier of its time, when taken out of context and put up against the later high efficiency and high intelligence pack hunters of this list, it’s clear that inostrancevia is lacking in some serious regards. Its low mobility and poor endurance would have made it an inefficient and unsuccessful predator in the age of mammals, and its low intelligence would have assured that it could not innovate its way out of this position. One could say it’s unfair to compare a stem mammal to the objectively better true mammal build, but that’s what we’re here to do, and aside from its massive size and damage output inostrancevia lacks the powerful abilities and basic efficiency that would constitute a high placement in such a competitive bracket.

I give inostrancevia the rank of high C tier.

[sabertooth-showdown]

GENUS: HOMOTHERIUM

Common name: “Scimitar cat”

LONGEVITY: About 4 million years

DISTRIBUTION: Extensive (North America, South America, Eurasia, Africa)

NOTABLE ATTRIBUTES:

Short, strong saber teeth capable of both gripping and stabbing

Large, powerful incisor teeth that interlock to create a vice or beartrap bite

Evidence suggests pack hunting behavior and caching food for later, implying high intelligence

Non-retractile claws grant increased traction and speed when running

Gracile body with hyena-like proportions which allows for high-speed pursuits

Huge eyes and nasal passages similar to modern cheetahs, creating excellent vision and increased oxygen intake when sprinting

Bite force comparable to modern cats (much higher than the “dirk-toothed” sabercat lineage)

WEAKNESSES:

Physically smaller and weaker due to slender build

Unable to do severe damage with paw swipes or climb efficiently, due to non-retractile claws that become worn down when running

A very formidable group with an impressive paper record, homotherium cats may not be the biggest, but certainly have a strong argument for being the baddest. Their near global distribution and relatively long run is a testament to their efficiency as pursuit predators. As another testament to their effectiveness, isotopic analysis of their bones show that they were regularly killing and eating mammoths, one of the largest animals in any terrestrial ecosystem. All of this suggests that they operated in coordinated groups as a well-oiled killing machine. Even in areas where they had to contend with bigger, nastier cats like lions and smilodon cats, homotherium established themselves as capable and efficient predators. However, due to their overall lack of bulk and raw power, they often found themselves as less than apex predators, and most species were overshadowed by their bigger, meaner felid cousins.

I give the homotherium genus the rank of A Tier.