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18+ | twin lane | mostly ia

[gretavanmoon]

ENTER: SANDMAN - I

Jake x female AU

Words: 11.8k

'And this has been my fate for much longer than it has been yours, if you’ll recall who trained you in the art of dream selling. I deserve this. I deserve some happiness…’

+ Alone and forgotten in his quiet, crumbling realm, The Sandman has nearly given up all hope that he will ever receive another summoning. But just as he is about to succumb to the darkness, he receives a call that turns his world on its axis, thrusting him into a fate he never saw coming.

Thanks for reading, hope you guys like ;)

Warnings: 18+! Alternate Universe/Realm , An Aware Unconscious Mind, Realistic/Lucid Dreaming

Angst: Cursing, Unclean Thoughts

Smut: Heavy Flirting, Dirty Talk, Touching, Fingering (F! Receiving), Begging

- Prologue -

++++++++++++

Five hundred years may seem like only a blip of time in the grand scheme of our world, but when one has been present for the entirety of five millennia, the blip draws itself out into a map that scrolls beyond all comprehension, beyond all conception of time itself– especially when one is only alive for a fraction of it. 

I was cursed with a destiny that I never saw coming… a fate that was put onto me while I was taking my dying breath at the young age of 29– a choice offered up to me in exchange for death, and I took it. I agreed, right then and there, to take on the responsibility of being one who imposes rest & repose to those mortals who seek it. And so I have been, for the last five hundred and one years. 

It isn’t a tough job, but rather one that can sometimes be daunting, watching the unconscious minds drift in and out of worlds created between the synapses of the brain and the experiences they have. I can weave them, I can supply them, I can create them… I can even change them. When mortal humans lie in wait in their beds for unconsciousness to finally befall them, begging anyone who will listen to bring them some reprieve, I am there. When they sleep dreamless for nights on end, wishing for their unconscious mind to take them away to another world that is unexplainable, I am there. And when those who lie alone at night are burdened with wishing and praying for someone, or something to come and provide them with some type of physical release, I am there.

My colleague Rook and I, of course.

Rook is a raven, but he hasn’t always been. He was a man just like myself up until about eighty years ago, when he made a choice so pivotal and profound that it shifted our world into a brand new routine, changing our lives as we knew them, altogether. Unfortunately, Rook was bestowed a fate worse than the one he had already received when he became a Sandman. And it was all at the hands of a mortal woman. 

Nearly eight decades ago, now, Rook and I were living our lives as normal, traveling between realms and tending to sleepless humans day in and day out, business as usual. Rook, though, returned home one early morning to tell me of a visit he’d had, one that had struck him in such a way that I felt it from our realm, myself. 

‘She’s beautiful,’ he’d said, his opalite eyes glowing and shining in the warm glow of the sunrise bouncing off the ocean below us. I could feel his happiness, I recognized his elation. His hands gripped onto my shoulders as I watched him smile like I’d never seen him smile before. ‘Never have I encountered a visit like this, Jacob. Never… in all my years…’

‘Tell me, tell me all about it…’ I’d requested, my interest piqued to hear every last detail about this certain visit. Though we could communicate through one another’s thoughts, we still lacked in the fact that we couldn’t feel one another’s emotions, nor see what the other was seeing. ‘Was the visit simply for sleep? Or for…’

He’d licked his lips as he fought back his devious grin, overjoyed at the fact that he could share such an experience. 

‘Yes, the orb had glowed red,’ he’d replied, letting me know that this summoning was one of a certain kind.

‘The sex, Jacob… unlike anything I have ever experienced. Ever. In my time as mortal and immortal… It was almost as if I could feel her, too… as if I didn’t ever want it to end…’

‘You could feel her, too?’ I’d pressed, surprised. 

‘In every sense of the word.’

I’d looked at him in disbelief, but also believing, wholeheartedly, everything he said.

‘Have you ever felt… anchored, after a… session?’ he inquired, his faceted eyes still reflecting. 

‘Anchored…’ I repeated.

‘Yes. Stuck, grounded… unable to even fathom the thought of going on to the next summoning… as if an anchor was tied to your body, not willing you to leave the bed of the one you were with?’

The idea had struck me as I tried to remember if I’d ever felt that way before, if I’d ever had a problem with pulling myself from the sheets of the one whom I had spent the night with. 

‘No,’ I’d replied honestly. ‘I don’t believe I have. In this life, or my life as a mortal…’

He’d paced, letting go of my shoulders to flit around the room as if he had wings attached to his ankles. I could feel the sheer happiness radiating off of him, a new notion for the both of us. 

‘It was… unexplainable, Jacob,’ he’d whispered, sitting down to stare into the orb. ‘I’ve never felt… the way she looked at me… it was as if she was awake, as if she knew who I was in my soul, in the bones that made me a man when I was still as such…’

I’d nodded, trying to understand. 

‘I can’t find the words to describe it… It was as if she was truly present, and not just dreaming me up…’

His words had struck me again, his sudden and newfound vulnerability making me take a seat beside him.

‘That’s… different…’ I said. ‘Did she perhaps see through the third wall, realize her paralysis at just the right time?’

He’d shaken his head. ‘It was as if she never even got there… never let her sleep overtake her, at all. She saw me, Jacob. She saw me.’

‘Will you return to her?’ I’d asked, suddenly on board with everything he was feeling.

I still remember the look on his face, to this day. Excited, confused… and happy. His body was visually vibrating with elation. 

‘I told her to call upon me again,’ he’d whispered, biting his thumb nail. ‘We’ll see if she holds up her end of the deal…’ 

The two of us had sat there in silence for minutes on end, basking in this new emotion together as the sun shone bright orange beams into our dark cave that hovered above the sea. 

‘I kissed her, Jacob,’ Rook finally spoke, hushed. 

‘Rook, no…’

‘Rather, she kissed me… I couldn’t stop her, I couldn’t stop myself,’ he blabbed, his hands writhing against each other as he processed. ‘Mortals don’t do that… they don’t display that kind of intimacy with a supernatural being who–’

Rook stopped. He didn’t need to explain it to me. I was very aware of the fact that during those special sessions it was so rare for a mortal to even fathom sharing an act of intimacy so personal as a kiss, that it never even happened. Ever. It wasn’t even ever a passing thought for them. 

‘She kissed you…’ I’d repeated with surprise. ‘She…’

‘And I kissed her back. God, I know this is bad, this could be so bad, Jacob…’

‘We don’t know that, Rook. It–it will be fine…’ I tried to reason with him as he suddenly showed signs of panic. Truly, I didn’t know the answer. I didn’t know what a human breaking through to an immortal like this could mean. 

‘What if it isn’t, Jacob? What if… if it causes something bad to happen… I don’t know.’

‘Can you stay away from her, if she calls upon you again tonight?’ I’d asked.

His eyes shifted, looking down into the glass orb between us, swirling with inquiring minds. 

‘I don’t think even the pull of gravity itself could stop me from going back to her…’

I’d swallowed, realizing the weight of the gamble in front of us. But his pure joy overstepped any boundary that made itself to the forefront of our shared thoughts. 

‘Then return to her, you will.’

. . .

…But it was bad. 

Horrible, life-altering, and gut-wrenching, actually. 

Night after night, Rook returned to her. Fed her what she needed, made love to her again and again, ignoring all the calls to the other inquiring visits. He’d become obsessed with her, in every sense of the word. At first, it was fine… manageable. But then I began to notice that I wasn’t able to keep up with the demand all by myself. Try, I did, but after so long it became straining. 

I was spending days upon days away from home, unable to return for more than a minute before the next priority call made its way to the orb, yanking me away again for another summoning.

Rook was barely there. All his time spent with her… barely leaving enough time to even meet half of our quota. 

‘You do realize that this is your job, right?’ I’d pressed one night after finding him, surprisingly, relaxing across his bed. ‘I can’t fucking do this all by myself…’

‘Don’t be so loud about it, Jacob… I’ve made ten calls in the last three days–’

‘And I’ve made sixty! Sixty, Rook! You do realize that we have an obligation…’

‘An obligation?!’ he yelled, moving to stand. ‘I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember signing up for this…’

My rage was apparent, and my aggravation had finally come to a head. It wasn’t fair. If I’d had a heart, my pulse would have been like a stampede. 

Suddenly he was on his feet, rushing me until his nose was jutting up against mine. His eyes were no longer opalite. His skin was no longer cool. All I could feel was an emanation of something I’d never felt before, radiating against me like a magnetizing force.

‘You’re just jealous…’ he gritted, his eyes delving deeply into mine. 

‘Jealous?!’ I’d jumped back. 

‘Yes, jealous. Jealous that I’ve found this happiness, and you still have to spend your time chasing the high I get to feel whenever I’d fucking like…”

I could feel the rage boiling in my stomach. ‘Chasing a high?! Are you crazy? This is our fate, Rook! This isn’t some fun game!’ I’d yelled back in his face, raising my arms high into the air as night had begun to fall. 

He shoved me, obviously thrown off by my retaliation. ‘And this has been my fate for much longer than it has been yours, if you’ll recall who trained you in the art of dream selling,’ he yelled as I stumbled backward. ‘I deserve this. I deserve some happiness…’

‘Our feelings do not matter, Rook! You know this! We aren’t even supposed to have them…’ I charged him, shoving him back. ‘Do not insult me, and keep your fucking hands off of me.’

‘So you are jealous…’ his tongue jutted out across his teeth, his eyes suddenly turning black. ‘You won’t keep me from her, Jacob. Try as you might… I will always go back to her… She satisfies my every need, and I give her what no mortal man can…’

‘You aren’t even supposed to have needs, Rook… Do you not remember that?’ I’d asked him after one last powerless shove to my shoulders. ‘Sex means nothing to us… nothing but an exchange for immortality…’

He stood again, towering high above as he made his presence known. His eyes pitch-dark, and his skin so pale and paper-thin, I feared even touching him. 

‘It isn’t just sex, Jacob!’ His voice was quiet but deafened me, his whisper powerful enough to reverberate off the walls. 

My limbs went loose and my mouth went dry, the realization hitting me enough to knock me off my feet. 

‘You’re in love with her…’

Rook took a quick, deep breath, letting every ounce of breath escape his lungs as his eyes finally met mine. Defeated, scared. He didn’t speak. 

‘You are, aren’t you…’ I repeated. 

He shook his head. ‘I think I am.’

‘Fuck,’ I muttered, finding my footing again as I pulled my chair out from under the table. I sat down, and Rook joined me. ‘We aren’t supposed to feel love, Rook… We aren’t supposed to feel anything…’

‘You don’t think I know that, Jacob? I–I’m terrified… I’ve never been able to feel a mortal this closely before. Everything about her… her touch, her breath, her skin… I cannot lose her, I physically can not be apart from her…’

‘Rook, this doesn’t make sense. You are not of earth, how do you expect to care for someone who you will never be able to provide for? She is a human being…’

‘I–I don’t know, I– She feels the same, I know she does…’ he complained, his tone suddenly falling from angry to anxious. ‘She told me.’

‘That doesn’t matter, Rook. You only exist in her dreams, you are only a figment of her imagination, you have to remember that…’ I’d reasoned, trying to be logical in the face of the situation at hand. 

His voice was hushed as the wind had stopped blowing outside, suddenly gifting us with a calm, quiet atmosphere. The air felt heavy, and I noticed that Rook was near tears. ‘She sees through it, Jacob. She sees me, I told you that. From the very first summoning, she’s seen me. How can I walk away from that?’

I was speechless. 

‘I’m shackled to her, Jacob… My roots are in her home, in her bed… I can not fathom a day without her, I can not comprehend a world in which she is not mine…’

‘But you aren’t real to her, Rook. You’re a dream, a fantasy. That’s all we are, that’s all we will ever be…’ 

I took Rook’s hands in mine, warm and bony as his dark, hooded eyes stared into mine. His skin was pale and his face was hollow… he looked nothing of his strong, normal self. ‘Do you… do you feel okay?’ I’d asked him, suddenly a bit worried. 

‘M’fine,’ he’d replied, his mouth dry as his skin began to darken. His neck twitched, and his voice changed to something sinister. Suddenly, his hands squeezed mine, and his head fell onto the table with a hard thud. 

‘Rook!’ I’d exclaimed, standing to pull him back up. His head swirled on his neck, completely devoid of any muscle mass at all. His eyes were switching from opalite to dark, his eyelids barely able to stay open for more than a second’s time. ‘Rook! Wake up!’

I shook his shoulders and pulled him back up to sit, finding that his skin was like brittle sandpaper in my hands, falling off and disintegrating like ash. My panic suddenly found me. He looked like he was dead. 

‘Rook!’ I screamed again, reaching under him to lift him and lay him on the ground. Barely, he held on, his skin and bones suddenly rupturing and splintering, the sounds they made burying themselves forever in the back of my mind. He made no sound, only long, chopped exhales fell from his lips as I did my best to hold him, hold on to him… anything to save him… ‘You’re okay… I’m right here…’

Within mere seconds, Rook was reduced to nothing, a pile of ashen sand in the shape of his body lied there on our floor, his boots and robes the only indication that he was ever there, at all. 

My face flushed, my hands shook, I could not comprehend what had just happened. My body convulsed from pure panic. He was just here, he was just in front of me… what is happening?!

‘Rook!!!’ I’d screamed, my voice blood-curdling. My sand-covered hands swept across his clothing, finding nothing at all to hold on to. My breath picked up as panic set in, frantically searching through his clothing as if maybe, just maybe, my eyes were deceiving me. I picked up his boots and turned them upside down, watching as nothing but dusty sand fell out onto the floor below me. 

No. No no no…

I’d stood from my place on the floor, my hands brushing through my hair as fearful tears pricked at my eyes. I looked around the room, seeing nothing but the blurred images of our belongings around us. Where is he?! I repeated his name over and over, stumbling outside and into the mist of the ocean waves to scream his name, hoping that maybe wherever he was, he would hear me. 

. . .

The minutes ticked by that night as I lied across my bed, flipping my hourglass over and over again. I watched as each grain of sand fell through it, reminding me that with each passing second, it became more real that Rook was really gone. Disintegrated, right in my hands. I couldn’t even fathom it. 

I ignored the orb, not caring one way or the other if I made the quota that night. Our home was silent, and my body was exhausted. I had no thoughts, only confusion and heartbreak. Nothing made sense, and the scenario replaying through my mind only terrified me even more. I have no one… not even another being in this world of ours to run to, to cry to. My chest heaved with every single breath, a heaviness that I had only felt a handful of times when I was a mortal. I was lost, confused, and utterly gutted beyond all recognition. What in the hell happened to him?

Apparently, something closely related to what I would call sleep had found me, for my memory was blank for the next few hours. But suddenly and harshly I was awoken, a strange sound coming from a high corner of our lair.

‘Jacob?’ 

I shot up, my senses now totally awake, second guessing what I had heard. ‘Hello?’

‘Jacob… it’s me…’

I stood from the bed, sand sprinkling across my boots. 

‘Rook! Where– where are you?!’ I spun around the room, my eyes adjusting in the darkness as I tried my best to follow his voice. 

‘Here–up here…’

My gaze traveled to the high corner, finally adjusting and resting on a piece of jutted stone. And there, perched on it, was the most beautiful and majestic raven I had ever laid my eyes upon. It’s feathers were iridescent… reflecting shimmers of black and blue and green. Its size, something to be afraid of. It’s eyes- blacker than coal, and darker than midnight. I stopped dead in my tracks. 

It was then that I realized that I wasn’t hearing the bird talk to me, but instead, I was hearing Rook’s voice in my thoughts.

‘Oh my god… Rook, is–’

‘It’s me, Jacob… It’s me…’

+++

Eighty years, now, Rook and I have lived alongside each other, me in my immortal state and he in that of a Raven. It took us a while, but we soon learned exactly why he had met this unimaginable fate, and that returning back from it was not going to be in the cards for him. 

He’d met the utmost punishment at the hands of falling in love with a mortal, his body being taken from him and replaced with that of a bird. A powerful and intelligent bird, but yet. We realized that crossing the boundary line between our realm and the realm of the living gave a punishment more dire than death– a fate worse than one could imagine.

And the worst part of it all– he could never return to her, even in her dreams.

It was hard at first, adjusting to our new lifestyle while trying to learn what Rook still could and couldn’t do, meanwhile I had to take on the weight of tending to all of our summons, even the special service ones, all by myself. I’d gotten used to the work overload while he was away with her, of course, so not much changed. 

It took us a while to learn that Rook could still be of assistance in this realm, bringing omens and tokens of good fortune to those in search of better rest. We dug deeply into our old texts, reading accounts from the Sandmen of the past, learning from them and studying what we called their journals. Never once had we come across another speaking of this type of occurrence, though. It seemed as though Rook was the first. 

After some slower nights spent fingering through the texts, we had come up with a list of tasks that Rook could still perform in his new form, many of them including letting his birdsong be a lullaby, or his presence be a guide to those who knew where to look. Trial and error, trial and error… We, together, learned that Rook’s fate wasn’t the end of his life in the business of selling dreams, had he only change his perspective. 

+++++++++++++++++++

Jacob

My feet trudge up the path on the hillside, gritty and graveled underneath my heavy footsteps. It’s cold. Really fucking cold, but I have never cared. The moon isn’t full tonight, leaving me with only a dull glow from the waning crescent to provide me with enough light to make it back to my home. The pines sway around in the chilled breeze as the waves crash against the rocks below me, signaling high tide.

I’m weak and exhausted, and I’m positive that I have never felt this kind of fatigue in my life. My lifeless muscles strain to take every step, and it feels as if my lungs are full of stones. It takes every ounce of energy I have just to make it past the crest of the hilltop, letting the wind behind me give me a last push over the threshold. 

Rook caws in the corner, acknowledging my arrival. 

“Yes, yes, I know,” I reply back to him, reading his thoughts. “I’ll be dust before dawn if I’m not careful. But I had to get out of this goddamned cave.”

It’d been some time since Rook and I realized that we were thriving, visiting the hundreds of other realms ten times a night to bring dreams and slumber to those who needed it most, only to meet up again at dawn to rest. Back then, we were on top of the world, ruling our universe with strong hands, thriving off of the thrill of the next summoning, relishing in the fact that a few of these calls weren’t just for sleep. 

Many a night, we’d receive three or four calls of a special type, invitations from those who wish for something a little more stout to help them to reach a place of rest. They’d beckon for something to take them away from it all, to fulfill their every fantasy while they balance on that horizon between sleep and consciousness. It was the best of times, indulging not only those who beckoned for a little extra, but indulging ourselves, as well. The two of us unable to age past our prime, slyly shifting our way through the minds of those who just wanted a little companionship, someone to know how to please them, someone who they didn’t have to remember the next morning. 

Rook caws again from his perch, obviously worried about me in my sullen and sunken state as I slump into my velveteen chair, absolutely spent, and fearing for my own existence. 

“I know, I know, you wretched creature… but what am I supposed to do about it? The orb hasn’t glowed for a summoning in months…” Rook is upset, worried for me, I can tell. I can hear his thoughts, and he can hear mine, allowing us both the favor of knowing where the other is at all times. We have no secrets and we never have, the two of us bound together in profession and fate, each other’s best companion for the last 500 years.

I hear his feathers brush against one another and hear him groan under his voice, irritated and anxious with the thought that I might not wake up tomorrow. Neither of us have been apart from each other since we were cursed with this profession; I would be worried, too, if the tables were turned. 

But I refuse to let these thoughts and weaknesses get the best of me as I rest my head in my hand, staring into the summoning orb perched perfectly on its table, barely glowing a dark gray. The smoke inside it swirls around like storm clouds, tiny shards of light bouncing through it as it shows the thoughts of those mortals who think about calling upon us, but never follow through with the thought. 

‘What do you think could be the problem? What has changed?’ I hear Rook’s thoughts ask. 

“Your guess is as good as mine…” I mutter, my eyes falling heavy onto the orb.

‘Strange… in all these years, after all this time… this busy time… and now, nothing,’ he goes on. 

“There is no good explanation,” I reply solemnly. “Times have changed, I suppose. Sleeping pills, drugs, good sex… they don’t need us anymore…”

He caws. ‘If only I could somehow help you, taunt them with the kind of slumber that only our sand can bring… then pass them along to you… Curse this damned state I’ve found myself in. I can hardly even perform what I was destined to do… it’s all my fau–’

“Don’t think that way, Rook, for god’s sake, you do plenty,” I say, standing from my chair with jerked movements and weak knees. I pull my cape around me, feeling the bitter cold coming off of the icy waves smacking against the rocks outside. “The last thing I need is you feeling sorry for me over something that happened 80 years ago.”

‘But it is my fault this happened… my fault I ended our reign. I was selfish…’ Rook admits. 

“You fell in love, Rook. Neither of us knew the circumstances of your punishments. You cannot continue to blame yourself for that…” I growl at him, turning to glare in his direction after having had this same conversation so many times. 

‘Yes, but only if I’d have–’

“Stop!” I yell, feeling my ribcage vibrate under the bellow of my voice. “Do not place blame upon yourself! I can not fathom your guilt just as much as I can not fathom my own shortcomings…”

I shuffle over to my bed and lie back, pulling my cape and red velvet covers over myself. I stare up at the dark wooden bedframe above me, adorned with ancient writings about the thrills of sleep, or something. I sigh, listening in silence as Rook preens himself. It’s just been so quiet…

‘Maybe I can go place some omens, drop some protection prophecies… hell, maybe I can go hunt for the dream thieves–’

“No,” I reply blankly. “You needn’t waste your energy when no one is going to light the orb to summon us, anyway. 

‘But you’re weakening, Jacob, I can’t just sit idly by and watch you wither away… You need summoned, let me go place the bait before you lose yourself altogeth–’

Just then, as my eyes have begun to close and my chest feels as if it cannot house another breath, I see a light forming from behind my eyelids. Warm, at first, then brighter. My eyes slowly open as I had begun to lose all hope… and I see it. 

‘Jacob!’ I hear Rook. ‘The orb!’

I summon all of my strength and sit up, rubbing my eyes just in case they have decided to deceive me in my weakened state. And just as I had thought– the orb is glowing.

Not only is it glowing, it is radiating.

“My god…” I whisper in disbelief as my last energy sources pull me from my bed and over to the glass orb. My hands land on it, touching its surface as if me letting go of it might cause it to float away. “I don’t believe it…”

Months…

‘You have to go, Jacob. You have to go now…’ I hear Rook’s wingsound as he flies down and perches on my shoulder, pecking at the side of my head to rush me. 

“Get on now, you old fowl,” I wave him away as I hear him chittering a laugh. I stare at the orb, watching as the light inside it glows a warm, luminous gold, sparkling with silver metallic flecks. “Oh, they’re really in need…”

‘Yes, I see that…’ Rook agrees, acknowledging the way that the orb has decided to glow, mirroring the mind of the one who has summoned. ‘An interesting mix, too… see the streaks of silver and black… and the way that the light is falling like snowflakes… Wow, Jacob, this one is–’

Rook’s thoughts are cut short as we stare into the orb, watching as the dreamlike thoughts of the summoner tell us more and more about them. Suddenly, those streaks of silver turn into a light shade of pink… and a few seconds later, a deep red. 

‘Oh…” Rook whispers, and the two of us share a moment of disbelief. 

The deep red streaks suddenly grow and multiply, turning the entire orb into a dark, swirling glow of dark, crimson red. 

‘Ohhhh…’ Rook snickers. 

I bite my lips in and look at him perched on the table beside me. “Is this a joke?” I ask him rhetorically. 

‘The orb doesn’t lie, my friend,’ he laughs again. 

“You’re telling me that after months of quiet without a single summoning, the one that breaks the hiatus is this kind of call…” 

My cheeks blush as I turn and run my hands through my hair. I simply can’t believe it.

“I barely have the strength to walk, let alone perform this…” I complain when I truly don’t have the room to. 

‘Come on, Jacob, where is the audacious man I know? This is good news! But you have got to hurry…’ Just as Rook’s sentence ends, the orb begins to brighten, the specks of silver now burning with a hot orange glow, reminding me more of fire than anything.

“Quick, Rook, what is their name…” I beg of him, twisting on my heels to return to holding the orb in my weak hands. 

Rook pauses for a second as I listen to his thoughts float through a million realms. 

‘Her name is Y/N.’

“Y/N,” I repeat, committing the name to memory.

‘I can see her… my god, Jacob, she is… You have to hurry, you’ve got to go… the orb is nearly on fire…’ He’s not wrong, I feel it heating in my hands. It isn’t often that the pull of a mortal physically changes the orb like this, but when it does, it is for good reason. 

This summoner knows exactly what she wants. And she is desperate for it.

‘Find the strength, Jacob… you’re in for it tonight…’ Rook jests, reminding me that it has been quite some time since I have had to respond to something like this. To a person with this much sexual pull. I feel my body begin to shift with emotion, the chemicals inside me fully switching into something carnal, completely against my will. I embrace it, knowing that I will need the strength to tap into this side of myself after waiting for so long. 

My brain goes devious, fully imagining myself in full performance, just to get my head on straight. If she can dream it, I can do it. 

‘Good luck, I’ll try not to listen in!’ I hear Rook’s thoughts as I feel myself beginning to float away, letting the forces of the uncountable realms pull me straight to her.

Y/N

How long has it been?

You toss. You turn. You sigh. You try and force yourself to sleep. To think, to dream… anything to stop your mind from having all these aggravating, frustrating thoughts. 

Eight months? Ten months? Hell… probably more. 

You can’t even remember the last time, it’s been so long. You’re not even proud to admit the fact that you would probably take a 4 home, at this point in the game. Anything to get some of this anguish out of your system. 

Your mind shuffles from thought to thought as you contemplate pulling your toy from your drawer and letting an inanimate object get you there again, but fuck, your body is in need of so much more. You’re craving something real, something that can react to you, and you to it. You not only need a release, you need touched, you need felt. You need used, in the worst possible ways. Touch starved is an understatement.

You haven’t slept well in weeks, and you wholeheartedly believe it’s because of the situation at hand. The sleep deprivation had begun to weigh on you just as much as the sexual frustration had, and it had also begun to reflect in the actions of your daily life. 

Every night, you’ve found yourself reading a book or story in hopes that it will suffice, and even though it’s satisfying for the time being, it only returns the next night, full force. You wish that someone would come in and completely rock your world, taking your mind away to a place where you can feel free to lose all control, where you can allow yourself the freedom to be overtaken by another force, completely. 

“Never gonna happen, I guess,” you mutter to yourself as you set your phone down on the nightstand, adjusting yourself and burying your body down in your bedsheets. You pull a pillow up between your legs, wishing that it was the body of someone else. Someone you could lie beside and have just an inkling of hope that there could be a happy ending to your dirty, all-consuming late-night thoughts. 

You try to relax it all away, letting the sound of old-timey TV shows playing in the background of your otherwise quiet home lull you off to sleep. 

‘Oh Mr. Sandman,

Bring me a dream

Make him the cutest

That I’ve ever seen…’

The old song strikes a chord in your memory as you know you’ve heard it a hundred times over the course of your life. Still, it makes you smile, the audacity of the song to play at such an ironic fucking time. Still yet, you hum along, wishing that the pleading song could be true.

‘Sandman, 

I’m so alone

Don’t have nobody to call my own…’

Your body is still being ravished by a heat that you’re positive is more than just body sweat, and frankly, you downright refuse to pull your toy from the drawer. You’re too damn exhausted. You settle down further into your black silk sheets, feeling them stick with static to your sweat-sheened skin.

“Unnghhh…” you groan with animosity and aggravation.

Finally, you feel the teasing hands of sleep begin to tickle at you, working their way into your body and mind as you welcome them with open arms. You’re uneasy, though, as the sleep grips at you with an ominous premonition. This sleep feels different… It feels rushed, chaotic, and pressured, and you’re unsure where your mind even is. The lust that has ravished you is still very much present, making your emotional state even more heightened. You’re so unsatisfied. And you’re scared that it’s going to take over your entire being. 

Your hands wrap themselves into your sheets as you pull them tight, willing them to drown you in a comfort so mellow that you’re inevitably drawn away from the madness.

Your eyes roll back with the beginning stages of sleep, and you relinquish all control, letting the slumber overtake you. Finally, finally. You feel yourself roll over to your back, your hands still gripping into the sheets as you pull them up and around you. Your vision goes completely black and you feel a heaviness surrounding you, dropping you further and further into the depths of a slumber that you so crave. 

The beginning scenes of a dream begin to inch their way into your psyche, slowly at first as dark images of trees and ocean waves start to skim their way through the back rooms of your mind. Wind on water, moonlight on mountaintops… All the images flying around as you try to make sense of them. 

The very pillows that you’ve rested your head upon feel like they’ve been stuffed into your ears, muffling your hearing as soundless airwaves bounce like echoes off velveteen blankets. Muddled and low, distant and bellowing as your mind flips around with wild imagery. 

Just as the images begin to slow down, your heart rate begins to pick up, skipping beats every few seconds. Suddenly, you feel a cold chill wrack through you… your skin, your insides, your bones.. All iced over with a coldness like you’ve never experienced.

You feel yourself pull the sheets higher to try and warm yourself, and when you feel them rake over your skin, you realize your body is still lustfully aching with every single move you make. Your once slow, steady breathing is becoming labored and chopped as the air feels like a blizzard around you, and the blackened images behind your eyelids are still taking on their arcane auras. You’re terrified, but also, you’ll take any kind of sleep that you can get. 

Your visions slowly begin to turn into something more sinister as the once peaceful images begin morphing into scenes of terror and fear, gripping at your skin as you try to run away from them. Vines are tightening themselves around your ankles and wrists, pulling at you and trying to slow your efforts to flee. The images quickly switch to tall fields of wheatgrass, giant thunderclouds floating above you as hundreds of black birds circle overhead. You can hear them cawing. 

You can’t run. You’re moving in slow motion. You fall repeatedly, physically feeling the mud and rocks below piercing your skin as you crawl to get yourself back up again. The thundercloud bellows above you, shaking you all the way to your core as lighting shocks vividly across the sky.

”Stop running,” you hear, ceasing your movements and stream of thought. The voice sounds like it belongs in another realm completely, jarring you so deeply that it almost wakes you up. The sound of it nearly stops your heart, frightening you even in your sleep. You know that it is simply your mind playing tricks on you, so you stand to run again, the thick wheat grasses now turning into forceful currents of water that reach well over your waist. You wade over rocks and mud again, the current pulling at you from every which way as you try to keep afloat in the rushing waters. You’ve never drowned before, but you’d imagine that this is what it would feel like. 

”I said.. Stop running,” the voice orders again, this time sounding as if it is inside the room with you. The sound of the voice makes all of the bones in your body feel like glass, waiting to be shattered at any given second. Just the discordant sound of it encourages you to answer, to call back out, but you hold steady, still trying with all your might as the water around your legs begins to rise… higher and higher toward your chest. You’re panicking, your legs becoming less and less able to keep you upright as you kick and fight to stay at the surface.

You hear the voice again, except this time it doesn't form words in a language you’re familiar with. It’s only a grumbling sound of aggravation, or some type of mark of an ancient tongue you don’t recognize. You feel fear again, but the fear doesn’t make you want to surrender; instead, it encourages you. 

“No,” you say, feeling the water rising up around your shoulders and neck, freezing cold and rushing as the visions of the dark clouds and birds above you begin to blur. 

”Don’t make me stop you myself,” the voice says again, feeling so near that it sends a chill through every bone in your spine. You spit and swallow, the water now feeling more like the hands of a hundred beings around your neck, squeezing at your throat.

“Stop now, and I’ll give you everything you want,” it says, the sound of the voice suddenly sounding less intimidating as it swirls its tendrils around your neck, slinking itself into your ears like a comforting song. “I promise… everything…”

And so, you stop. The deal suddenly seems too sweet to pass up, even in your sleep. 

“Everything, huh?” you ask, the water around you receding and morphing into warm, soft cushiony clouds.

‘That’s right,” it replies, and it hits you that you seem to be having a very realistic conversation within this crazy dream of yours. 

Your body relaxes as you feel yourself take a deep, centering breath, letting the sweetness of sleep overtake you again. After a few seconds of quiet and relaxation, your body reminds you that you are in your bed, safe and sound as you become comfortable again.

“Don’t let your mind drift too far away from me, now,” the voice startles you again, but still asleep you stay. “Wouldn’t want you forgetting why I’m here in the first place, hmm?”

Even in your slumber, you feel confusion, wondering why this ancient voice is still trying to have a conversation. Here in the first place?

You decide to continue to play along, the visions dancing behind your eyelids now just a blurred mix of dancing colors. 

“Why are you here, then?” you ask, feeling your hands begin to let go of the silk sheets around you, and drift overtop of your tits and stomach.

“Because you asked me to come,” it replies. Suddenly, the reality that you are having a conversation with a very much aware entity makes you feel a bit uneasy.

“I didn’t ask anyone to join me in my dream–” you cut.

"Oh, but you did. You’ve opened a door most never find, and most never survive. But, I’m feeling generous tonight."

Against your will, and with true fear beginning to enter your bloodstream, your eyes shoot open. There, standing at the foot of your bed, is a man more ethereally appealing than any living thing you’d ever laid your eyes on. Brooding and handsome, eyes hollow and dark as they shoot daggers right through you. He’s cloaked in a heavy dark robe, and his hands are clasped at his waist, eyes studying you. His hair is long and falls in strings across his face, and his lips are the most alluring shade of pink. His eyebrow cocks when he notices you looking at him, smirking a little as he realizes that you aren’t looking away.

In the room around you are stars suspended in time, the air thick and heavy with smoky air. There is no floor, only space, as if the walls themselves are made up of the surfaces of empty, stardusted planets. Everything floats, and the air glitters, and you’re positive you’ve transported to another place and time, completely. 

JACOB

She looks terrified, petrified, but she has another emotion on her face. Entranced? Confused? Yes, but something else… I tap into her thoughts to prove myself right, she is intrigued by me. 

”Survive?!” she squeaks, pulling the covers up higher over her chest as I finally make eye contact with her for the first time, lifting my hand to brush the smoke-like air from my line of view. I watch her eyes grow ten times in size as she shies away at first, then finally forces herself to look at me fully. I can feel her heartbeat in my own chest, and I can feel the anxiousness rising in her belly. “You’re not going to–”

”I’m not going to hurt you,” I growl. “Not unless you’d like for me to.” I smirk when I feel a new emotion trail over her. I hear her breath hitch, and I take that as a cue to move over to get closer to her on the bed. “But I know that’s not why you called me here, tonight.”

“I didn’t call you at all, I don’t know who you are, what you are–”

”The song,” I reply matter of factly. “You asked me to bring you a dream…” I watch her wheels turn before her lips purse together, shuddering as she whimpers in fear.

“Sandman,” she whispers, so quietly that I barely make out my own title. 

I watch a singular tear run down her face, realizing that back in her own realm, she is crying in her sleep. I move in closer, so close now that I can hear her breathing, feel her body heat. I reach back in my mind to hear her thoughts again, listening as she bargains with herself to wake up! But still asleep, she stays. 

“Mm, that’s correct, little one. But the kind of dreams I bring aren’t always… peaceful…”

She glances down to my hands, one balancing on my lap and one placed delicately on the bed beside her. In my mind, I listen to her take account of the numerous silver rings that adorn my hands, the thick chains that hang off my wrists, and the heavy silver medallions that hang loosely from around my neck. Her tear-welled eyes then travel up, taking in my chest, my neck, my jawline…

“You’re afraid of me,” I accuse, watching her lip quiver as her hands stay tightly wound up in her protective coverings. “Everyone always is.” 

I squeeze my right hand, feeling the cold metal of my rings dig into my fist before I stretch my fingers out again, slowly raising my hand toward her face. She pulls away slightly, a tight whimper sitting just at the back of her throat. Fear? No, something else… I feel the side of my middle finger brush at her soft skin, catching the singular tear that is nearly dry on her face, wiping it free from her cheek. “Fear is only distrust in opportunity. And you, my dear, have just been gifted with it.”

I watch as she tosses my words over in her mind, her heart still beating like a metronome racing through time, terror still painting her face. Her eyes well with thick tears again, a manifestation of her pure, complete panic. “If I shouldn’t fear you, then why is everything in me telling me to run?” she whispers. “You’re just a bad dream, a nightmare–”

“NO!” I yell, standing from the bed and turning away from her, my robes rushing behind me in a shadow of clouded darkness. I hear sand fall below me. 

That word. I hate it. There is no other descriptor that I loathe more than that, no other name to connect me to that I despise more than that very one. 

I feel her heart rate rise again, likely surprised by my raging outburst. My hand reaches to cover my forehead, displeased with myself for losing my composure at just the utterance of a singular word. I curse myself once more before stiffening my expression, turning to face her again. “I’m not a… A nightmare,”  I grit through my teeth. The word tastes like poison as I spit it, and I feel the venom of it sitting on my tongue for a split second before I force it away. 

“So what are you, then? A demon? A dream?” she shrieks.

In under a second, I am close in her presence again, mere inches from her face. “That’s right, love. A dream come true.” I can’t help it, I can smell her scent in these close quarters, I can feel the fear radiating from her bones as her chest heaves so beautifully up and down, her cheeks flushed and crimson. I feel my eyes darken as they travel to her lips, so plump and pouted. I have to stop myself from reaching out to touch them, kiss them, for I know if I give in too soon, all my efforts will have been for nothing. Restraint. If only for a little bit longer. 

As if she knows I am studying her, she pulls her lips between her teeth, biting them so harshly that I am positive that there will be blood, only worsening the ache I have begun to feel for her. But she releases her lips, only to let her bated breath fall across them, returning my gaze as I realize that maybe she… isn’t afraid of me. 

She swallows, but doesn't speak. Her white-knuckled grip on her covers suddenly loosens, lowering the top of them enough to expose more of her chest. Her barren chest. A thin, shiny silver chain rests across her collarbones, catching the light of the swirling stars around us as she breathes. Every few seconds, the herringbone gleams, catching my eyes and distracting me from the way her breasts are rising and falling. 

Carefully my hand reaches again, just as slowly as it had when I caught her tear, to touch the chain. “Like minds,” I murmur, my opposite hand quickly gripping the various charms hanging from my own chains. My fingertips grace her collarbone, light as a feather as I glide them up over her shoulder, then back down again, slowly, until they are rested at the top of her sternum. Like frozen embers, my fingers dare to stay right where they are, hesitant to explore, yet so taken with her erratic heartbeat that I contemplate wrapping them around her throat right then and there. But I stop myself. I feel her skin flush beneath my touch, goosebumps covering her every inch as I realize that this time, she didn’t cower away. 

“Ethereal,” I compliment her, the words escaping me without me even giving it a second thought. 

“Me?” she asks, her voice small, still yet. 

“You,” I confirm, letting my hand travel just a bit again to the back of her neck. I know my touch is cold, but she doesn’t show that it bothers her, so instead I decide to embrace the fact that she seems as though she is getting more comfortable with me. A quick one, tonight. 

“You know, usually when I’m summoned by someone, they run away in horror when I present myself… they make themselves wake up, tell themselves it's all a bad dream, and I never hear them call for me again. But you… you seem to be enticed by the unknown…” I gloat, knowing that my words will either infuriate her, or she’ll agree. Either way, I’m eager to see her response. She scrunches her nose at my words, and I let my fingertips tickle at the nape of her neck, sending a visible shockwave through her. Yes. 

She doesn’t look away. Instead I feel her body lurch, and a quick breath escape her lungs as the light touch of my hand has already made her tits visibly perk under the silk sheets she covers herself with. I take the opportunity, slowly leaning in further to her, my lips barely grazing the shell of her ear. 

“I know you lie here every night… wishing that someone could take the place of your hand… praying that someone will come into your world and do the work for you… You’re so tired of it, so unenthused with succumbing to your desires all by yourself… aren’t you?” I ask on a whisper, slowly treading her waters. My lips barely brush the skin of her ear, and I have to resist biting it, letting my tongue explore the column of her neck… 

She’s silent. 

But I can hear her slow, ragged breathing.

“It must be exhausting, dreaming all day long about having your every fantasy fulfilled by someone who… Knows how to fulfill them… Without you having to guide them… Someone who will make your body shake… tremble… Make you cry out until your lungs are screaming for oxygen… Hm?” I go on, letting my lips travel down her cheek now. Fuck, she’s going to be delicious. 

I feel her nod, just barely, as I know that I am slowly breaking her subconscious walls down. 

“The touch of someone who can make you come undone in seconds… Have you begging for more when you know you’ve had enough… Pleading for a slow fuck… Am I right?” I ask, my voice now a growl as I nip at her jawline.

Suddenly her back arches, her chest pressing into mine as I hear her inhale, obviously finally loving it all. 

“You’re right…” she says, letting the covers fall down a little more. 

“Mmm,” I grit. “Exactly what I thought.” I can barely hear her clouded thoughts, now, as they are mixing in deliciously with my own desirous ones. I tap into her mind, seeing erotic visuals bounce through, and I must admit, the ones that are flowing through her thoughts are topping mine by a landslide. But I know that I must continue, for if I stop now, she may start to come back to reality and realize that this is all a dream.

“Let me see you,” I demand, pulling back only a little bit as I leave my directive hand on the back of her neck. I motion to her covers, the only bits of material shielding her otherwise completely naked body. “Show me.”

Her expression is pensive, but the still chopped breaths falling from between her lips tell me that she is still in concordance with the reason that I am here in the first place. I squeeze my fingers just a bit at the base of her skull, making her pull in a sharp inhale. 

Her grip loosens and the covers fall, exposing her perfect chest, inch by delicious inch. I feel myself tighten in my pants, an action that not many have caused me to do this early on in the game. “Fuck,” I mumble, only sending a spur of confidence straight through her. 

“Lie back,” I command, snapping my fingers after removing them from her neck. I rip the rest of the covers from her body, exposing her completely. She gasps back in surprise, but instead of grabbing them to cover herself up again, she lets them pool at the bottom of the bed, right where I want them. Her hands do come up to cover her breasts, though, and her legs bend up on themselves out of sheer sudden exposition, but her expression stays true. Fixated. Right onto me. 

“I didn’t come here for games, love. I came here to give you exactly what you want. What you desire,” I bark, watching as her hands begin squeezing at her tits. I stand, my movements like dead leaves on the wind as I make my way to her side of the bed. Tufts of smoke rise around me and sand falls at my feet as I move, fast, yet calculated. 

Her eyes follow me as I round the room still suspended in time and space, blown out and blasted as they are filled with anything but tears, now. I know she is giving in, I know she is submitting to her own desires. And I, though her energy seems like one that is more addictive than any drug, plan on fulfilling them. 

I am towering above her now, my cloak floating up and around me as it feels my body preparing to do its job. She’s heaving, her hands still gripped hard on her breasts as she stares back up at me with a brooding uncertainty… laced with a full-on craving to be satisfied. 

Her hands land on her knees, balancing with a stern grip until she gives me the okay to move. 

“Is that what you want? For me to fuck you?” I ask with finality, knowing good and well that she still has the opportunity to end all this, had she just change her mind. 

Her hands fall from her breasts to grip the headboard behind her as she nods, blinking away any indecision she may have left in her. “Yes… Yes, that’s what I want…” she purrs, her voice sending me into a frenzy of mixed emotions. Never has the voice of a summoner enticed me so intensely. 

I feel a devious smirk pull at the corners of my lips as I concur, tightening the grip on her knees just a bit to slowly pull them apart. “Hmm, that’s what I like to hear…” I grit, joining her on the bed now as I position one knee between her legs. I watch as her legs fall freely, separating slowly as her grip tightens on the headboard behind her. “Fucking gorgeous…”

Her lips bite between her teeth again as I hone back in on her thoughts, knowing that her subconscious is going to let them fall more freely, now. She’s internally writhing, inwardly begging for me to touch her, to control her, to devour her. 

But unfortunately for her, though I am in the business of bringing dreams to life, building repeat customers was how I stay alive, how I keep myself fed enough to stay satiated to exist in my world. Little did she know that when I received her call, I was quickly withering away into nothing, waiting on one last summoner to save my life. 

And save my life, she had. 

I move myself to crane over her, my heavy cloak following and flowing around us, completely shrouding the both of us in soft, silky darkness. I can feel my body beginning to yearn more heavily for her as her body reacts, pensive, yet comfortable. My hand balances beside her head as she leans back, her neck craning as I begin harshly pressing my lips on the undersides of her tits. “So beautiful… so fucking sexy…” I praise her, feeling her body starting to move beneath me. 

Blindly, I reach up to her hands still gripped on the rails of the headboard, wrapping my still yet weakened hand around them, urging her to keep them there. “Don’t let go, keep them right there. You hear me?”

“Yeah…” she breathes out as I take her nipple between my lips, her skin hot and fiery on my tongue. I swirled it around and pop it, making her chest huff with a breath of pleasure. 

Her chest is heaving even more heavily now as I plant more harsh kisses along her sides, biting lightly at her stomach and her hips as she begins to elicit sounds that I know have the potential to make me forget every single rule Rook and I live by. 

I raise my knee to between her legs, feeling the heat absolutely radiating from her. I apply pressure, knowing that teasing her is going to get her right where I need her. 

“Fuuuuc–” she cries out, her head falling back even further as I feel her grip on the rails tighten under my hand. 

“Sss– I know you want me to, baby… I know you do,” I soothe, running the heat of my tongue across her hip bones, barely teasing at the top of her mound. Her hips jut up from the close contact. Fuck, I want to taste her. I’d give anything to know how she’d feel with her hips on my jawline, how the sounds she’d make could wake the dead… Could bring a man out of the depths of hell… But, restraint. 

“Please– Please, Mr. Sand–” she pleads, stopping herself short when she realizes what she is actually asking. “God, I just need you to…”

I can hear her pounding heartbeat in my own chest, in my mind… see the visuals she is praying for me to show her dancing across her brainwaves and disappearing again as quickly as she could dream them up. I can feel the heat in her bloodstream, the essence of her already pooling for me, waiting and ready for my touch. And it has me ravenous.

“Need me to what, little one?” I ask through clenched teeth, my cloak still covering us with warmth.

“T–touch me, please… I–” she breathes, knowing that I am nothing but a figment of her imagination, and she is lying here begging me to give her what she wants.

“Touch you…” I reiterate, “Here?” 

Finally, I let my free hand drift to between her legs, where she – and I– have been aching for him to touch the most. I graze my hands between her thighs first, letting myself enjoy the softness of her skin as she quivers at my touch, responding to me with perfect ease. When my fingers finally make contact, I feel as though I could crumble into nothing, just like the sand that falls at my feet. “Fuck, baby… fucking soaked for me…” 

For a split second, I lost my composure. The sound that fell from her lips was torturous, making me lose any and all sight of the right decisions. My chest blossomed with desire for her, and time stood still as I listened to her whimper her way through the initial feeling of my hand on her, a being who did not, and would never belong in her world. 

I begin moving my fingers between her folds, slowly finding all of the places that make her react the most as I watch her expressions contort into a million different looks of twisted pleasure. Her hands grip tighter on the railing, her stomach heaving in on itself as her legs switch back and forth between falling further apart, and gripping around my hips to bring me in closer. 

‘No, no, no,’ I think to myself, ‘not this soon…’

Her tongue shoots out to lick at her lips, and I want nothing more than to taste it, to lick into her mouth and taste her, but I know that doing so would change everything. 

Intimacy is not allowed. 

I let a single digit finally slip inside, her warmth completely coating me up to my knuckle as she cries out, strained and helpless as I begin pumping in and out. 

“More… please…” she begs on an inhale, so I heed her request. I let my two adjoining fingers slip inside her, slowly and languidly pressing them as deeply as they will go. “Ah, god Sandm– fuck…” 

In nearly one thousand years, she was by far the sexiest and most alluring specimen I have ever laid eyes on, ever had the pleasure of assisting… The feeling of her lying beneath me feels different than anyone else before her, as if our very natures are made of the same matter. 

I’ve only just met her, have only just let myself be captured into her dreamstate, and I am already regretting ever having heeded her call, at all. I want to look at her, study her, watch her as her body lurches and stretches for me, and I curse the darkness that my cloak provides; not even a shred of light is allowed through it. That was the whole point, of course. 

In an attempt to force my harrowing thoughts away, I bend down to bite into her neck as her hips begin rolling on my hand, her body begging for what she couldn’t say out loud. I forcefully bite into her skin, unable to stop myself from the notion of devouring her. It’d taken over my mind, enveloping my very being as my teeth sink in, and she doesn’t even wince from the pain. “Take me, baby… yes,” she assures me as my teeth lay into her skin again and again. I let my thumb come up and massage her clit, mixing the movements together into a delicious concoction, sending her into a whole other world of pleasure.

I feel her soak my hand over and over as her body tightens and relaxes, her muscles shaking and rolling as waves of pleasure rush through her. I want to taste more than just her skin… I want to lay claim to her every crevice and atom of skin that I can… but I know the rules.

My hand fucks into her, making her breath escape her lungs with every thrust. I can feel her coming undone, but I know that once she does, a whole new world is going to create itself, for the both of us. We’ll forever be tied– two realms separating two beings who could never experience one another in anything but a dream state.

Her eyes stay clenched shut, only her mouth falls open as whispers of moans fall between them. Louder and louder they become, and more and more attention I give her.

“Look at me, Y/N,” I grunt, feeling her legs squeeze around my torso. I never use the names of my summoners, it is a rule I wrote into the book myself. But I have to admit, hearing it fall across my tongue felt like sealing a fate I didn’t even foresee coming. And it tasted delicious.

Her eyes shot open, her pupils thick and hollow as I know that her wet dreams are being fulfilled just as she wanted them to be. But when they met mine, they locked together into a stare more fierce than anything I have ever experienced before, in any world I have ever visited, in any fornication I have ever taken part in. Lock and key, I can’t look away. She stares a hole right through me, down into the very depths of the soul I don’t possess, into the bones that are made of nothing but sand. 

“You know my name…” she breathes in disbelief. 

“I do,” I reply, not once slowing the movements of my hand. Her hooded eyes skim up to meet mine, staring so deeply that it chokes me.

“Say it again,” she demands, sincerity wrapped around the three words as if the very fiber of her being depended on the sound of my voice.

My chest caves in. Damnit. 

“I–” I stop myself, knowing that this is a grave… fucking… mistake. 

“Please… I want you to say my name when I come for you… please, Sandman…” she begs, staring so deeply into me that even the darkness surrounding us seems brighter than the sun.

“I–I can’t give you what you want tonight, little one…” I admit, ready to feel the sting of disappointment from her. Though I want to. I want to more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my time, but I just…

“But, please, I’m so close– just don’t stop–” her voice drips like honey beneath me, her entire body rigid and begging for its release. 

“I won’t stop… come for me, baby… “ I glance to the hourglass necklace sitting on the table beside us, the last few grains of sand slowly making their way to the bottom half. My time is almost up. I continue my pace, curling my fingers deep inside her as her strangled moans become more and more pathetic. “Come on…”

Finally, as if every single planet decided to shift on its axis at the same time, I feel her release… And without a second thought, I attach my lips to hers, kissing into her with a passion that I’ve not felt in all my years, a connection created by the universe itself. Unbreakable, now, as her body shakes beneath me, her tongue begging and burying itself alongside mine. The taste of her– otherworldly… because, in fact, she is.

I know I’m not supposed to kiss her; that was the golden rule. After all, it was that very mistake that got Rook into the position he is in now- cursed, and never again able to answer a call. Never once have I ever even thought about breaking it, but then again, never once have I felt like… this… during a summoning.

I curse myself, memorizing the feeling of her lips on mine as her pathetic moans fall into my mouth, sweet as sugar but laced with a most lethal poison. Forcefully, I rip myself from her and tear my own world in two, collapsing into a regret that would only haunt me as the last grains of sand slip slowly through the glass.

When they’ve finally landed, I rip the necklace from beside me, forcefully breaking off it’s top to open it completely. I glance at her with a sorrow I’ve never felt before, regret already eating away at my very being. I bring the hourglass to her face, sprinkling every last drop of sand into her eyes, watching as she quickly slips away into a final, peaceful slumber.

I take one last look at her as my chest begins to cave, and my body begins being pulled back to my own realm. I let it take me, though every last fiber of my being is begging me to stay.

Y/N

Just as you catch your breath, just as the feeling of sweet oxygen reenters your bloodstream and the blinding white light leaves your vision, you wake up, fully aware and alert as you lie atop your silky, black sheets, soaked with sweat and basking in the afterglow of what was the most beautiful orgasm of your entire life, completely alone. 

He is gone.

Everything you had experienced was nothing but a figment of your imagination. A dream you had thought up in your mind. An experience you had concocted in your deepest, darkest thoughts.

You can still feel him on you, can still feel the touch of his hand between your legs, his fingers buried deep inside you. You can still feel the featherlight brushing of his fingers across your neck, and the wet kisses he’d laid all over your body. But most of all, you can still taste him on your tongue. 

Bitter yet sweet as burnt sugar, you lick your lips, memorizing the taste to the best of your abilities.

Your eyes adjust to the sunlight beaming in through the window, nearly cooking your completely nude body as the rays pierce the window. ‘Where is he?’ you wonder… ‘Was that all just a dream?’

Confused, and a bit embarrassed, you stand from the bed and sleepily waltz into the bathroom, turning on the light to splash cold water onto your face and take a look in the mirror. But what you see throws you for a loop– your torso is absolutely covered in light purple love bites. Still fresh, still throbbing.

He was here. He was real. 

You didn’t imagine it, at all. 

Your hands come up to touch your wounds, still hot and stinging with recent injury. “No,” you cry, your voice in complete disbelief. “It fucking can’t be…”

No amount of afterthought could explain this away, and no amount of hindsight could get you to believe anything besides the fact that your experience last night was, in fact, very real.

You felt him.

You needed him.

You tasted him.

And tonight, you’ll sing that song again, until your lungs beg for air. 

++++++++++

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[sacredstarcatcher]

👀👀👀

[gretavangroupie]

Saudade

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 16.6k

Warnings: Cursing, Drinking, Heartbreak, Angst, Sexual Themes, Mentions of Disbandment, Mentions of Estrangement. Smut: Dirty Talk, Touching, Kissing, Oral F!Receiving, Fingering, Oral M!Receiving, Edging, Protected and Unprotected Sex, Fluff.

A/N: I know this is not your typical story, being set twenty-five years in the future, but I hope you will stick with it until the end. Though this was only planned to be one part, I could definitely see this having a part two in the future. As always, thank you so much for reading, liking, reblogging, etc. It means more to me than you know!

OCTOBER 2049

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE

It was almost the same. Twenty five years later and not much had changed. Maybe the owners, the patrons, the furniture and the drink specials, but wholly and truly it was almost exactly the same as it was back then. It’s dark, and poorly lit by a string of multicolored Christmas lights around the perimeter. Dusty college pennants line the walls, and the sound of billiards balls smacking together still ring through the air. 

The clientele has changed a bit since the last time you were here. Instead of a younger, edgier crowd, the bar is filled with people your own age. Quite possibly reliving their own glory days. Your mind flashes back to a night full of blurry memories and cheap beers, this very bar packed to the brim with friends and familiar faces. It was a night of celebration amongst your peers, the pre-party before the main event, so to speak. It was all a blur now, but it was a memory you’d held on to for all these years, and in a way you all did. 

You bring your glass to your lips, sipping at the now watered down Gin and Tonic. Your phone buzzes on the bartop in front of you, your screen showing a message in your recently resurrected group chat. All it took was a single photo of the bar and they knew. A memory unlocked over twenty years later. You’d all talked about meeting up again. Coming back to the city where you all met each other, but years passed and life got in the way. It never happened, and that was okay. The friendships never faltered. Those remained a constant, even after all this time. 

They couldn’t believe you were here. You told them you were going to come, and why wouldn’t you? When you found out the conference was taking place in Nashville it was nearly the first thing that came to mind. You knew you had to stop in to take this picture just for them. It felt sad almost, being here without them. You knew it wouldn’t be the same, but just being here in this place you have such fond memories of felt good. 

A large group descended upon the bar as you arrived, huddling around the bartop ordering drinks and shots. They were loud and rowdy, but you didn’t care much. You know that was you once, and you hope they will look back on this night much the same way you look back on the night you spent here in the company of your friends. They hung out there for most of the night, a few people from their group leaving to hit the pool tables, or step outside to smoke. You kept to yourself, enjoying your drink in such a nostalgic place as you made conversation over texts. 

Now though, as your drink was melted and your skin was feeling warm they decided to leave. They cleared out of the bar quickly, taking the noise and the vibrant energy with them. Now that your view is unobstructed you turn your head to look down the bar. It’s mostly empty, only a few people left sipping their own drinks. You bring your glass to your lips as you observe the people around you.  It’s quiet and dark and your eyesight really isn’t what it used to be. The man about ten chairs down from you seems to do the same, finally able to see more than the horde of people that made the bar their home all evening. He looks to his left and right, taking in his surroundings the same way you did. He turns his attention back to the television hanging behind the bar, watching whatever football game is happening in the stadium down the street. He’s leaning back in his chair, his right hand fixed on his glass as his left scrolls on his cellphone with a few flicks of his thumb. 

The bartender steps up to you, delivering your fresh drink and snapping your attention back ahead of you. 

“Thank you,” you offer, sending him a soft appreciative smile. 

“My pleasure, let me know if you need anything,” he answers with a nod of his head. 

You grab the new drink and bring the small black straw to your lips, letting the lime flavored bubbles flow over your tongue. The bartender stepping away has grabbed the attention of the man to your right, watching as he turns his head to meet your line of sight. You feel a rush of nerves flood through you, but as the man's eyes meet yours you feel something else. Something familiar and strange. It’s something you know, deep inside of you that's been buried away for years and years. Something you can’t quite put your finger on. 

He nods his head and gives you a small, pleasant grin and that’s really all it took to put it together. It hit you like a tidal wave. Connections in your brain that had been long severed, were finally finding their way back together. The tip of his chin, the familiarity of his smile, the dark twinkle of his eyes. This wasn’t just a handsome long haired man alone at a bar. No, it was Jake Kiszka. 

You quickly turn away, your eyes zeroing in on the labels on the liquor bottles across from you. You felt stiff as a board as you sat there, your heart pounding in your chest as your mind started to flash through hundreds of memories. Twenty years worth of music, and laughter and memories playing on fast forward. Your mind settles on one though. One in particular that sticks out the most, and probably the most painful one of them all. 

You can remember it clear as day. It was an overcast day in March, your phone buzzing incessantly on your desk. Over and over it rang and rang until you picked it up and answered the call. It was bad news, some of the worst you’d heard. “What do you mean a mutual separation?” 

How naive of you to believe something so good could last forever. Your small community of friends were devastated, unable to cope with the fact that the very thing that brought you all together was seemingly gone without warning. What you had is all you would ever have. It didn’t feel real. No more concerts to attend, no more music to look forward to. Nothing. It was just over. In the blink of an eye. 

Some fans took it hard, lashing out and picking fights. Some were okay, happy and eager to see what would happen with the four members in the future. Whether it be families or solo projects, you knew you would support them either way. What none of you expected though, was for all four of them to disappear. 

It was years before anyone saw or heard anything about them, collectively or singularly. They had gone into hiding, something they were good at. No marriage announcements, no birth announcements. Nothing. Even their social media accounts died that day in March. Everything was silent. It hurt, but it was almost better that way. 

Around the ten year mark there were whispers, rumors of a reunion. Small gigs here or there, but nothing ever really came of it. They were just that, rumors. There was no show, and there most definitely was no reunion. 

A few years later came an album celebration. The fifteen year anniversary of ‘Anthem of The Peaceful Army’. It was slated to be a large event, even a few people you knew planned on attending. Only two of the four showed up to the event that day and the online murmurings of sibling animosity were running rampant. You never heard anything else about the event, there was barely even a photo posted to prove it happened, but it did. Something changed that day in the park, and that was the last anyone had heard or seen anything from Greta Van Fleet. 

Now, fifteen years later you find yourself here, looking at Jake Kiszka, in the flesh. He’s older now, in his fifties with a few wrinkles adorning his face and his hair a bit lighter and streaking silver in a few places. He looks different, but in a way, almost exactly the same. He seems to carry himself much in the same way he always did, keeping to himself but exuding a powerful presence.

You toss back a gulp of your drink and make your way into the bathroom. You wonder if you’re making the wrong choice, leaving without saying hello, but you tell yourself that he will be here when you get back. You just have a feeling. 

You take a look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, swiping on a new layer of lipstick and tucking away a few errant strands of hair as you give yourself a pep talk. You take a deep breath and fix your top before making your way back out to your barstool, happy to find him still sitting in his seat. As you sit down you see him turn towards you, almost looking at you as if he wants to say something, but doesn't. 

You remember back then you always told yourself that if you ever saw him you would say hello. You’d walk right up to him and say hi with no fear at all. But you knew that wasn’t true, one look from him had you running the opposite direction. A single glance in your direction mid show nearly had you in cardiac arrest. However, you’d grown up significantly since then, and never before had you had an opportunity like this one. 

He bites his lips together and turns away, minding his own business as he sips away at his drink. You smile, noticing that his style really hadn’t changed much. Newer versions of his same tried and true staples hanging from his body. A pair of dirty old boots and a corduroy jacket, of course it’s Jake. 

You aren’t sure what has come over you, this sudden bravery taking you by surprise. You turn your barstool just a touch, now facing him just a few seats away. 

“Jake?” you say, swallowing down your nerves. 

His head snaps to the side, his eyes growing in size as his face softens, “Yes?”

You’re shocked to say the very least, you hadn’t really planned anything past that. 

“Hi, um, I’m sorry, I just– I thought it was you but, I wasn’t completely sure. I don’t mean to bother you.”

He shakes his head quickly, “No, no. No bother at all. Have to be honest, it's been a long time since someone recognized me,” he laughs. “Several years at least.”

He stands from his stool and slides his drink along the bar as he walks towards you. You feel your heart rate increase dramatically as you swallow down your nerves. He takes the stool next to you, and now that he is directly in front of you there is no refuting that it’s him. His cologne is strong as you breathe him in, spicy and warm, everything you always expected. 

“I think I knew it was you pretty immediately, but it’s dark in here and all…” you smile. 

“Well, to be fair I don’t look the exact same as I used to, the years have been tough on me,” he laughs, fidgeting with his glass. “No one really recognizes me at all come to think of it, I’m a little surprised you did.”

“Oh, that can’t be true! I think you look the same!” you say, hoping to boost his ego just a bit. “Honestly, I almost didn’t say anything. I know you value your privacy and I really didn’t mean to bother you.”

He smirks to himself and nods his head, his eyes scanning over you as he lifts his head back up. He stops suddenly, grabbing your arm and turning it just a bit, feeling hesitant to touch you.  

“My god, I haven’t seen that in years,” he says, his face completely shocked. “It’s um, it’s the Age of Machine symbol, right? From the album?”

You feel your cheeks grow warm at the recognition, suddenly feeling a bit bashful about the ink. “Yeah, yeah it is. It’s in desperate need of a touch up, but yeah that’s exactly it.”

He runs his finger over it gently in admiration, his eyes growing dark and a smile pulled across his lips. “I loved that one. I still remember when that song came out,” he pauses, taking a pull from his drink. “Those were the goddamn good old days, weren’t they?”

“Yeah, they were. I think that one ended up being my all time favorite,” you say nervously. 

He releases his grip on your arm, and you mourn the contact, a sizzling fire burning through your skin at his touch. “My favorite album we ever cut. Always was.”

He sets his glass down and looks at you, really looks at you for the first time. His eyes drinking in the sight of you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t ask for your name,” he says, still fixated on your face.

You sip at your drink, needing the alcohol to hit you quickly if this conversation was going to continue. “Oh, it’s Y/N, I’m sorry, it completely slipped my mind.” you giggle.

He takes in your name as if it’s a fine wine, tasting each syllable on his tongue. “Y/N…” He pauses, trying out the name on his lips. Feeling it roll off his tongue. He nods his head in a silent agreement, liking the way the name sounds falling from his mouth. 

“It wasn’t true, you know,” he pauses, biting his lips together, “I didn’t try to be…reclusive or whatever people used to say. It’s not that I needed privacy. Things were just so different back then. I had to recharge, everything was just so…draining, I suppose.”

You find yourself smirking at his choice of words, swallowing down your giggle before you speak. “Yeah, I totally understand. I always wondered how it affected you all, the constant traveling and recording. I can’t imagine it was easy.”

He smiles at you and sighs, tilting his head back a little. The memories flash through his eyes, old and fond.

“It wasn’t,” he admits, a bitter chuckle escaping him. “I loved it. I loved what we were doing. I loved the music and I loved performing in front of huge crowds. There was nothing like it, still isn’t. But it was so…exhausting. I felt like I would never be myself again.” He says, looking back at you, studying you for a silent beat.

You're unsure how to respond to that, feeling guilty for being part of the reason he felt that way, but also being the reason he was able to do what he loved in the first place. As if he can sense your unease, he moves to change the subject.

He clears his throat, “Anyway,” he says, shaking the memories from his mind. “You were a fan. How was that? Did you see many shows or–”

“Yeah, actually. Quite a few. My friends and I would meet up and go together. It was always this big thing, we would plan for months…It was a lot of fun. I think of those days a lot. Miss them often.” you answer, taking a sip of your drink. 

You notice his demeanor shift a bit, his tongue rolling out over his bottom lip as he listens. You can see his mind working, tumbling through his own memories no doubt. 

He nods his head while you speak, feeling a pang of jealousy in his chest at the mention of your friends. A hint of loneliness in his heart that you were able to share those memories with someone but he no longer could.

“It’s weird, you get so caught up in being…famous, I suppose, as corny as it sounds, that you almost forget what you’re doing it for. You do it to make people happy, to give them a night that they’ll remember, and you get to feel it in return. There’s nothing like that in the world,” he laughs breathlessly.

“So you miss it, then?” you ask nervously. 

He chuckles, looking at you. “Of course I miss it. I mean, I can’t say I don’t enjoy having anonymity again. There’s a level of safety and comfort in it, and I’ve learned more about myself and my needs since then, I’ve grown as a person. But at the end of the day I miss the performing, I miss the people, I miss the rush, I miss my brothers,” he says, taking another sip of his drink. “I miss all of it.”

You feel a pang in your chest hearing someone you adore so deeply confide in you about things so close to his heart. Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine something like this. 

“So you…don’t speak to them? Your brothers?” you ask quietly, not wanting to prod too much. 

He sighs and his demeanor shifts, becoming cold and somber. The warmth he held earlier in his voice leaves him at your question.

“No,” he says firmly. “Not much. They’re doing their thing. I’m doing mine. We grew apart. It could’ve been avoided but…” He shakes his head, looking back at his half empty glass.

“We haven’t really talked in a long time. Especially lately,” he answers, his jaw clenches a little as he says it. “To be honest, I haven’t talked to Josh in years.”

“The two of you were always so close. At least, it seemed like that to us.”

“I thought so too. He’s my twin brother, my closest ally. I knew I could tell him anything, I knew I could count on him,” he says, a tinge of sadness in his voice. “Then everything happened the way it did and he left for California. We just…fell apart. Stopped talking for a while, and then we never really started again.”

“What about the others?” you ask, trying to pull his focus from his thoughts of Josh.

He clears his throat, shifting in his seat, his eyes flicking back to you.

“The others,” he says, taking a short breath as his mind runs down the old memories. “We talk on occasion. Sometimes, it’s a short conversation, talking about nothing. It feels like it’s hard to get through to them, to really connect in the same way we used to,” he explains, the sadness returning to his voice. “But when we do talk, it always feels like it did just a few years ago. Nothing’s changed between us but…the distance feels different. When your relationship with someone is built so heavily on one thing and then suddenly it’s taken away, you tend to fall apart from them too.”

“Yeah, yeah, I definitely understand that. I can’t lie, it makes me a little sad to think about it, but I guess that is the reality of life.”

“Yeah,” he says, resting his hand on his glass, “It’s certainly a hard lesson you learn early. Everything is fleeting, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t hold on to it, no matter how hard you try. Can’t live in your glory days forever.”

You sigh and nod, suddenly feeling the weight of the conversation hanging over you. “I always wondered if you would start your own thing.”

He perks up a bit, his expression turning cheeky again, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. “I did for a little bit there, if you remember…”

“Oh yeah, god, I almost forgot about Mirador. Whatever happened to that?” you ask, suddenly remembering his side project. He gives a bitter laugh and takes a long, deep drink from his glass.

“Mirador,” he says with a shake of his head. “It was just supposed to be a little side project. Just me and an old friend writing some songs, you know? Sadly, it just didn’t go anywhere, to be completely honest. I realized I couldn’t do the same thing again. People expected too much from me, and every little bit of the project was under a microscope. At least, it felt like it was. It felt like I would never be able to get away from Greta. It felt like I was trying to recapture the magic of an already good thing, but no matter what I did, or how much I put into it, it wasn’t the same. I wanted to break out of my brother's shadow, but that’s very hard to do when he’s the sun.”

“So you knew that we referred to the two of you as the sun and the moon, then?” you smile, hoping to lighten the mood. 

A small laugh escapes him, nodding his head. “Yeah I did. I remember that,” he shakes his head, “Me, the moon and my brother, the sun. It's incredibly accurate, I'll give you that.”

“So, you just stopped playing all together then?” you ask, tilting your head to rest on your fist. 

He shakes his head, a serious look on his face. “God, no. That’s a ridiculous question. Music is my entire life,” he says, suddenly realizing how intense that statement was. He softens his voice as he continues, not wanting to ruin this good thing.

“I couldn’t give that up, even if I tried I don’t think I could. I love it too much. I have a little set up in my house. Nothing super crazy, my old stuff, my favorite things, the stuff I can’t live without. I write and play almost every day, I go to the occasional open mic or bar, you know how that is,” he shrugs. “I just, I don’t do it for a living anymore. Haven’t for a while. But it still brings me peace. It’s still a part of me.”

“I think there are a lot of people that would still love to hear the music you write, Jake,” you say, a bit of seriousness coloring your tone.

He looks shocked, as if not expecting praise like that. He smiles at you, almost shyly. “I don’t know. It’s been a while, and I’m not the same musician I used to be. I’m– I’m out of professional practice, I mean, I’m not twenty years old anymore,” he says, laughing slightly. 

Your eyes flick down to his hands, seeing the callouses still prominent on his fingertips. “I don’t believe that.”

He looks down, his eyes following yours to his hands before flashing back to your face. He laughs again, “I’m serious. I don’t know if I even still have it in me anymore,” he pauses, bringing his eyes back to yours, looking into them as if searching for reassurance. “Playing in front of a few people and playing in front of thousands of people are very different things. It’s been a long time. I don’t know if I could do it again like I used to. I’m not half as good as I used to be.”

“Then you are right on par with every person playing now. You were always better than the rest, Jake, and you know that. Hell, half of the people playing guitar now were inspired by you in the first place. You playing at fifty percent is still everyone else's one hundred percent. And you didn’t win all of those awards for no reason.”

He looks at you, absolutely shocked by your praise. He can feel his heart in his throat, beating fast.

“I…” he stutters, at a loss for words. He stares at you, unable to do anything but listen. There’s such a conviction in your words, such a seriousness and passion behind what you’re saying that it makes his heart beat a little faster.

It’s not that Jake wasn’t used to being praised. In fact, it used to be his favorite thing on Earth. He had gotten used to compliments and applause for years, and soaked it all up. Hearing it from you, after being apart from that type of recognition for so long, was something he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

“You’re giving me too much credit,” he teases, “You really were a fan weren’t you…” he says with a smirk. 

“Are, a fan…” you correct. “Just because the band isn't together doesn't mean that I stopped listening to the music you made.”

He looks at you quietly, his eyes flicking back to the drink in his hand as a small smile graces his lips. “You don’t know how good it is to hear that,” he says, almost under his breath.

“No one has forgotten about you if that's what you're thinking…”

He shakes his head, taking a long sip of his drink to mask his embarrassment.

“It’s not that I thought people forgot about me, I don’t have that kind of ego,”  he laughs. “I guess I just thought that people moved on, that’s all. It’s been a long time. But knowing that you still listen to it, that means a lot. Really, it does.”

You watch him resettle in his chair, turning his body to face yours a little bit more. You can see a sliver of his chest through his open shirt, his style still not changing through the passing years. His silver pendants still hang around his neck, shrouded by his long wavy hair. 

His fingers fiddle with the glass in his hand as he turns his body a little more to yours. He’s a little buzzed now, not drunk but not completely sober. He glances down at the exposed bit of your arm, eyes lingering on the ink that graces your skin. He takes another sip of his drink, the alcohol flowing through his veins, emboldening him just a little bit.

“So what about you?” he asks, his eyes raking over you before meeting your gaze. 

“Well, I've been here in Nashville all week for a work conference. Tonight is my last night here, so I decided to stop by here and have a drink. Needed to send a picture to my old friends to see if they remembered the place.” you confess.

He nods his head, listening as you speak. He can hear the nervousness coming from your voice, even though you’re trying to cover it up. He takes another sip of his drink, leaning a little closer to hear you better.

“A work conference? What do you do?” he asks, a curious look in his eyes.

“I'm a designer,” you answer confidently. “Mostly digital.”

He raises his eyebrows, a look of genuine curiosity on his face.

“A designer, eh? The artsy type.” He looks at you with an almost amused expression, a crooked smile on his face. “And you’ve been to this bar before?”

“Yeah, um, right before one of your shows actually. It was the opening night for the Starcatcher Tour…” you answer hesitantly. 

He nods his head, “I remember that show,” he says under his breath, more to himself than anything else. “That was a very memorable night.”

“It was, it was,” you agree, both of you letting your mind fill with the old memories. 

“That whole tour was one wild ride,” he pauses, letting his eyes flick over you. “So what else about you? Married? Kids?” he asks, sipping from the remnants of his drink. 

You laugh, “Oh, no, neither. I'm divorced actually.”

His eyebrows dart up, looking surprised. “Divorced? How long?” he asks, tilting his head a little as he studies you.

“It's been two years.” you answer.

He nods, “Three for me. Shitty club to be a part of,” he grins, trying to bring up the mood. “Not even a free hat.”

“You're divorced?” you ask in shock, “I didn’t even know you were married.”

He nods again, his eyes looking down, avoiding your gaze for a moment. “Yep, three years now. It, uh-,” he pauses, choosing his words carefully. His fingers wrap around his glass, twirling it in his hands. “It didn’t end well. At all.” he says, looking up at you. “Two beautiful kids though.”

“Of course they are,” you tease, nudging his shoulder.

He laughs, the first genuine laugh you’ve heard from him all night.

“They’re fantastic,” he says, the pride in his voice evident. “They’ve grown so much, too much. I don’t get to see them nearly as much as I’d like, but they are amazing. Oldest just started college, and my youngest is finishing up high school.”

“Boys?” you ask. 

He grins, a look of fondness in his eyes. “My son is following in my footsteps a bit, surprisingly. Loves music, plays several instruments, the whole deal,” he laughs. “My daughter, on the other hand, absolutely despises music and is an incredible athlete. I think she did that completely out of spite.”

“You're a lucky man,” you smile.

He looks up, his eyes meeting yours. In the low light of the bar, you can see the flecks of gold that are hidden in them.  He sighs, letting his fingers pick idly at the rim of his glass.

“I suppose I am,” he admits, the corner of his lips tugging upwards. “The craziest part of all of it is how much I miss noise.”

“Noise?” you ask, giggling.

He laughs, his eyes twinkling. “That came out wrong.”

“I mean,” he continues, “I miss the sounds of a family. I miss the sounds of little girls yelling in excitement, of boys getting angry because they lost their game, of music playing every day every where, of arguing over what to have for dinner or tour schedules. I miss that more than anything. Sometimes my house is just too quiet. I’ve never liked the quiet.”

You feel a twinge of sadness in your chest, knowing the exact feeling he speaks of. 

“I spent my entire life surrounded by it, shit, making it myself. I never ever knew a moment of peace, and it almost became comforting to me. Three siblings and a rock band will do that to you. But now it’s just quiet. Silent all the time, everywhere. You never realize how much you miss it until it’s gone. You’ve got no idea how silent an empty house can be until you’re forced to live in it.”

“I have a little bit of an idea,” you tease, finishing your drink. 

He raises his eyebrows, a sly smile on his lips. “That's why I come here,” he says, looking around the bar. “To find the noise.”

“A sticky dive bar?” you laugh, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass. 

“Exactly,” he says, nodding his head. “I’m sure there are a few nicer places I could go, but they wouldn’t be nearly as interesting,” he laughs, looking around. “There's almost always someone or something going on, music, people. It helps,” he shrugs, focusing on your face, “Fills the silence…Plus, it can’t be that bad if you found yourself here, too…”

You grin, nodding your head in agreement, “You make a great point, Mr. Kiszka.”

“I have my moments,” he says with a wink. He brings his drink to his lips, his eyes never leaving your face. He studies you as he swallows a sip, his eyes slowly looking over every part of you. 

“You said you are texting your friends,” he pauses, glancing down to your phone on the bar top, “Should we send them a photo?”

“Do you want me to send them a photo?” you tease, raising your eyebrow. 

He grins at you, his eyes flashing. “I think I do,” he says, his voice deep and sultry. He holds his hand out for your phone, “May I?”

You smile and nod, placing your phone into his hand. He hits the camera icon and opens the screen, the two of you appearing in frame in the dimly lit bar. 

His eyes are focused on the screen, snapping the photos, but for a brief moment he flicks his eyes down to you, smiling. He lets the camera click a few times for each shot, getting a variety. He looks at the photos for a moment, a cocky look in his eyes. His body brushes against your arm as he moves it, the heat traveling from his body to yours.

“Smile for me, love,” he murmurs, his voice close to your ear. A chill runs down your spine at his words, his breath warm on your skin. 

You grin as he snaps a few more photos, your mind reeling over the fact you were taking pictures at a bar with Jake Kiszka in the year 2049. 

He gives an almost cocky smile as he hands you your phone back, his fingers slowly tracing down your arm. “There,” he says, taking a long drink from his glass, the alcohol going straight to his head. “Pick whichever one, I think they’re all good. Actually, you should send them to me, too.”

What?

You hand him your phone, letting him type in his number and sending a few photos to himself. He hands it back to you with a nod, and you swear you can almost feel your heart stop. You quickly pick a few, sending them off to your friends, anxiously awaiting their replies. You giggle as you lock your phone and set it back on the bar top. “Thank you, for that.”

He smiles back at you, his lips still wet from the alcohol. “Of course,” he murmurs. He leans back in his chair, his shirt gaping open a bit more, his necklaces on display. His chest is tanned and strong, you notice that he has kept in shape since the last time you saw him. He lets his eyes flutter across your body, his fingers toying with his glass. 

“The least I could do after you’ve sat here and let me talk your ear off,” he laughs. “I should be thanking you,” he pauses. “It’s been really nice to reminisce with someone who remembers me when I was in my prime.”

“Who says you’re not, still?” you ask.

He laughs, his head cocked to the side. He looks at you again, his eyes raking over your skin. He lets the tip of his finger slowly trail down the exposed skin of your arm, drawing a small shiver from you. “That's awfully kind of you,” he murmurs, “But we both know that's not true. I'm not the same man I was twenty years ago. Definitely don't look the same. Not the rockstar I used to be.”

“It’s not the way we look on the outside, it’s who we are on the inside. And for what it’s worth, how you look on the outside is still just as beautiful as I remember. A perfect match for this,” you answer, pressing your finger to his chest.

His heart thumps wildly under your hand, a small gasp escaping his lips. He stares at you in shock, his breathing speeding up as your words and touch send heat through his body. He lets himself lean into your touch, enjoying the contact, savoring it. His eyes soften, looking at you with a different kind of look. He’s silent for a moment, just staring at you. When he speaks, his voice is raspier than before.

“You’re much kinder than I deserve,” he murmurs.

“I don’t think that’s true either, Jake,” you breathe. 

He laughs again, his breath slightly shaky. The way you say his name sends another shiver through his body, your soft voice causing his heart to beat faster. He lets his own fingers brush up to encircle your wrist, gently holding your hand in place against his bare skin. He feels the heat radiating from your skin into his own, the touch burning him like a white-hot flame.

His eyes never leave yours, his voice barely above a whisper. “Let me ask you a question.”

“What’s that?” you answer. 

He hesitates for a moment, the alcohol making him bolder than normal. His eyes are locked on yours, taking in every feature of your face.

“Did you ever receive a rose?”

You look down bashfully, fiddling with the ring on your finger, “No, actually. I never did. The people around me always did, but never me. I never got any of that kind of stuff.”

He can see the disappointment in your eyes at your confession. A frown creases his own brows. He lets his fingers run idly along the inside of your wrist, his skin craving the sensation.

His eyes darkened, “That’s a shame,” he murmurs. “But I can’t say I am surprised, my brother always did have a hard time seeing what was right in front of him.”

“Just wasn’t meant to be,” you whisper. 

He lets his eyes search your face, almost as if studying you. He lets his fingers slowly brush up the underside of your arm, the light touch leaving a trail of goosebumps across your skin. He can feel his heart still stuttering in his chest, the alcohol and the proximity to you making his head spin. He lets out a breath as he looks at you, his eyes flicking over every feature of your face.

“This is going to sound crazy, but,” he pauses, rubbing his fingers over his lips, “Would you like to come somewhere with me? I want to show you something.”

“Oh, like– like leave?” you ask, taken aback at his suggestion. 

He can see the surprise on your face and it makes him smile. He nods his head, his hand still encircling your wrist, his fingers tracing the shape of your arm. “It’s not far from here, I promise. Just a five minute drive,” he murmurs, his voice almost pleading. “I think you’ll like it, I’m sure of it.”

Your eyes dart around his face. Is Jake Kiszka really asking you to leave with him? 

“Um, I-” you pause, trying to decide if this is a good idea. You know this opportunity will never come again, so you make the decision to agree. “Sure. We can do that.”

“Good,” he murmurs, his lips curving up into a smile. He lets his eyes rake over your face again before finally releasing your wrist. He fishes in his front pocket, pulling out a roll of cash. He tosses a few bills on the bar, more than enough to cover his tab and yours. He then places his hand on your lower back, his fingers searing at the touch.

“Let's go,” he says gently, guiding you off the stool. “It's not far at all.”

You let him lead your outside into the humid late summer air, the humidity thick and heavy around you. He leads you to his car, opening the passenger door for you.

He walks around the front of the car, his heart hammering in his chest. He gets in slowly, his eyes raking over your body.

He starts the car, the engine rumbling to life. He rests his hand on the gearshift and looks over at you, his expression uncertain.

“Ready?”

“Are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?” you giggle, turning to look at him. 

He laughs, the sound low and slightly nervous. He keeps his hand on the gearshift as he looks over at you, grinning. “You’ll have to wait and see,” he teases. “You’re just gonna have to trust me on this one, love.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sentiment, nodding your head as you turn your eyes back to the dark road in front of you. He was right, it wasn’t long at all until you were pulling into a parking space at a park. It was dark, only a few stray street lights buzzing overhead. 

He steps out of the car, coming around to open your door. He offers his hand, the skin hot to the touch. He helps you out, holding your hand as he guides you out towards one of the lit sidewalks. He walks quietly next to you, keeping his stride short to match yours. The sound of crickets filters through the air, creating an almost peaceful hum.

He smiles at you, the warmth of his hand encompassing yours. “Almost there,” he murmurs, gently pulling you forward. 

Your heart is pounding in your chest, the feeling of his hand in yours so gentle but so firm. The two of you walk down the sidewalk further into the park, finally stopping just in front of a large open area, with a single well manicured rose bush. A small gold plaque stands in front of it, but you can’t yet make out the words. 

He looks over to you, the corner of his lips curving up in a slight smile. He gestures to the plaque, his voice is soft, “Go ahead, read it,” he says, reluctantly releasing your hand. He stays put, shoving his hands into the pocket of his pants as he watches you with a smug grin. 

You walk over to the plaque, trying to focus on the weathered metal, but one thing is perfectly clear, the logo forever visible in your mind. 'Greta Van Fleet'. Your eyes focus harder in the low lighting, doing your best to read the old dedication. 

‘This White O’Hara rose bush, dedicated on this day, October 19, 2033, celebrates the 15 year anniversary of the release of ‘Anthem of The Peaceful Army’. Planted in memory of the adoring fans that made this dream possible, in the name of peace, love, unity and equality.’

‘They pass the torch and it still burns, once children then it’s now our turn.’

He stands there, silently watching as you read the plaque. The sounds of the night fill the air around him, crickets and cicadas creating an almost peaceful hum. He watches your face intently, searching for your reaction. He can see you taking in each word, the slight tilt of your head, the narrowing of your eyes as you read. He stays quiet, letting you digest every word. He lets his eyes fall over you, taking in the way the light of the street lamp hits you. Admiring you. 

You feel tears spring to your eyes as you let them take in the sight of the beautiful white roses, flourishing on the mature bush. The fragrance is overwhelming, the beautiful smell filling your senses. You turn around to look at Jake, seeing him smiling as you figure it all out.

He can see the tears in your eyes, his chest tightening at the sight. He silently watches you move closer to him, his breath hitching in his throat. He remains quiet, the words that he wants to say stuck in his throat. He swallows again, the intensity of his gaze never leaving your face as you come to a stop in front of him.

“Jake, this is so beautiful. It’s so– These are the prettiest roses I’ve ever seen.” you say, stopping in front of him. 

He lets out a shaky exhale, his breath mixing with the muggy summer air. He reaches out and tentatively places his hand on your elbow, the touch almost hesitant. His eyes never leave yours. He can feel his heart thudding in his chest, the beat echoing in his ears. He bites his lower lip, his breath coming out in a soft huff.

“They are…they’re perfect, truly,” he murmurs, his gaze flickering to the beautiful white roses behind you. “My hard work has paid off I suppose.”

“Your hard work?” you ask.

He nods, his hand never leaving your arm. It moves though, ever so gently moving down to wrap around your hand again. He absentmindedly toys with your fingers as he speaks, his eyes still never leaving yours. He lets the edges of his lips quirk up in a wry smile. “I planted these roses. Well, Sam and I. And I tend to them now. I wanted something out here that would be here for years, centuries. I wanted something permanent.” He lets his eyes trail up your body, his gaze never leaving yours for a moment. “I wanted something eternal. This was sort of my last effort to fix things and– well, yeah.” 

“Jake it’s beautiful,” you breathe, “A beautiful tribute.”

His voice is husky when he speaks again, “You like it,” he murmurs, the words a statement. “I knew you would. But there is actually one more thing.”

He pulls away from you, releasing your hand as he walks towards the bush, reaching his hand into his pants pocket and pulling out a small pocket knife. His arm descends into the mass of leaves, fiddling with the knife before pulling out a perfect, bloomed rose. 

He turns back to you, holding the flower gently in his hand. The rose looks small in his hand, his fingers wrapped gingerly around the stem. He takes a step forward, closing the distance between you once more, quickly using his blade to shear away the thorns and leaves. He lifts the rose gently, the bloom just a few inches from your face, looking at you with unwavering eyes.

“For you,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry it’s late.”

Your breath catches in your throat, accepting the rose from his hand. A smile parts his lips as he watches you bring it to your nose to breathe it in. “It was worth the wait.”

He lets a shaky exhale from his lungs, his chest almost hurting from how fast his heart is beating. He can feel his own breath get caught in his chest, his breath becoming labored at the sight of you with the bloom held in your soft hands. He swallows again, his eyes raking over your face. He takes a small step forward, the toes of his boots now almost touching your own. His voice is raspy when he speaks.

“I just wish it could have been sooner,” he mutters, his voice almost sad. He runs his hand through his hair, a slight flush of emotion crossing his face.

“I actually think I prefer this,” you breathe, letting your eyes flick up to his.

He lets out a disbelieving laugh, the sound filling the air around you. He can’t help the way his body reacts to your simple words, a rush of emotion surging through him. “Are you– Would you be up for one more adventure?” he asks.

You’d never felt more sure of anything in your life. You felt safe with him, you’d follow him to the ends of the earth. “Of course.”

He lets his smile grow bigger, a rush of relief coursing through him. He reaches to take your hand again, the skin warm against his own. He lets his fingers interlace with yours, holding on firmly.

“Good, then let’s go,” he says, pulling you along with him as you make your way back to his car, white rose in hand. 

He opens the passenger door for you, gently helping you into the car. He closes the door, coming around the other side, climbing back into the car. He starts the car, the engine rumbling to life again. He shifts the car into gear, pulling out of the park, the streetlights casting a harsh glow over his face as he drives. His hands are still shaking on the wheel, adrenaline still coursing through his body.

“That was really sweet of you Jake,” you murmur, “I’ll think about this forever.”

He can feel his heart skip a beat at your words, his chest tightening at the sound of your voice. He swallows, his eyes never leaving the road.

“I hope you will,” he says quietly, his voice still a bit shaky. He lets his grip on the wheel tighten as he speaks. The radio is off, the only noises coming from the hum of the engine and the sound of his breathing. “There is just one more thing I would like to show you.”

“I can't wait,” you admit, watching him turn into a neighborhood. You can only assume he is taking you back to his home. 

He lets his jaw clench, his eyes remaining trained on the road ahead. He feels the nervousness bubbling up in his chest as he continues driving, the familiar surroundings of his neighborhood coming into view. His house is still lit up, the outside lights leaving a soft glow on his expansive front yard. He pulls into the driveway, putting the car into park.

“This would be me,” he mutters, his voice low.

“This is your home? It's beautiful.”

He hesitates before turning off the car, his fingers still gripping the steering wheel. He lets his eyes glance at you before looking out at the house.

“It definitely was an upgrade back in the day,” he chuckles, still staring at the house, lost in thought. He finally lets his fingers slide off the wheel, taking the keys out of the ignition.

He opens the door, climbing out of the car. He comes around to your side, opening the door for you once more. He offers his hand to you, the gesture almost gallant. Once you’re out of the car, he closes the door behind you, taking your hand in his again. He leads you up the path to the front door, unlocking it quickly. His heart is beating fast once more, the blood rushing to his ears.

You take in the entry way of his home, grand and exactly what you expected his home to look like. “Wow, Jake, this is…”

The words leaving your mouth fill his chest with warmth, the anxiety from before replaced with a sense of pride. He lets the corners of his lips quirk up as he closes the door behind them, the sound cutting through the quiet in the house. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs, his voice soft. He glances down the hall, his expression slightly uncertain. “But the best part is back here...”

You follow him down the hallway, turning a few corners and stopping in front of a large wooden door. He twists the handle and pushes the door open, letting you enter first. You’re immediately captivated by the room, filled floor to ceiling with guitars, artwork, posters, and more memorabilia than you’d ever seen in your life. It was lit by a small lamp in the corner, the room glowing a warm amber color. 

He lets his eyes fall over the room, taking in the look on your face. The look of awe is what he had hoped for, and he feels a sense of pride wash over him. His chest is tight, his heart beating erratically. He takes a step into the room, the small amount of light casting shadows on the floor. He walks over to a small, low table, flicking on another, smaller lamp.

“This is my office, so to speak,” he says quietly, his voice soft. “But I'm sure you know what actually happens in here.”

“This is where you play,” you breathe, letting your eyes focus on the guitars lining the walls. One catches your attention immediately, your hand itching to run your fingers over the frets.

“Indeed it is.” He slowly turns to look at you, his expression half-hidden in the dim lighting. The shadows on his face make his features sharper, the hollows beneath his cheeks creating deep shadows that leave his face in contrast. “Had it built custom for the house, has sound proof walls and everything…My ex she– she got tired of the music all the time,” he laughed. “Had to make some compromises.”

“There is so much here…” you say, looking around in wonder. “I don't even know what to look at first.”

He watches as your eyes flit from item to item, trying to take it all in and process it all at once. 

“Feel free to look at whatever you want, touch whatever you want, I won’t stop you,” he assures and lets his eyes follow yours, watching as you look at all the pieces of his life surrounding you. 

You recognize some things, others are completely new to you. Photos you’ve never seen, and posters you only ever saw photos of, here now in front of your face. “I wish this stuff didn’t make me sad,” you confess, snapping a few photos of old tour posters. 

He takes a few steps closer to you, his eyes never leaving your face. He swallows and gently touches your arm, the contact sending sparks up his fingers. He can hear the sadness in your voice, his heart twists in his chest.

He stands close, his chest almost touching yours. He lets the edges of his lips quirk up into a slight smile. “I understand, trust me,” he murmurs, his eyes never leaving yours. “But I can assure you there is something in here that may take the edge off.”

He makes his way over to a small shelf housing a collection of vinyl records, thumbing through the stack and pulling out a black cardboard sleeve. He pulls the vinyl from inside, revealing it to you in the light. The sticker on the front reads, ‘Test Pressing’ but offers no other distinguishing qualities. He offers you a teasing smile as he stands to place it on his turntable. 

He carefully places the record onto the turntable, his slender fingers handling it with a certain amount of reverence. The record player is old, the vinyl spinning with a soft crackle of static. He’s almost excited to hear it, anticipating your reaction. He stands next to the record player, his eyes darting from the spinning record to your face, watching as you process his actions. He lets his fingers rake through his hair, a slight smirk on his lips as sound begins to play through the speakers. 

Music begins to play, the familiar guitar tone striking a chord within your chest. You could recognize it anywhere, and just as you were about to speak, you hear Josh’s voice singing lyrics you’d never heard. 

“Jake, what is this?” you gasp. 

He watches as your eyes widen, your mouth parting slightly in surprise. He can see the disbelief in your eyes as you register the sound, a song you couldn’t place because it was never released. He can only respond with a small shrug, his heart twisting in his chest.

“I– I’ve never heard this,” you breathe. 

He gently steps closer to you, his eyes never leaving your face. He’s close enough to get a good look at your surprised expression, his heart still pounding. “No one ever has,” he whispers, his voice soft. “It was never released. Never made it past the studio.”

“Why not?”

He lets out a huffed laugh, the sound almost sad. He runs his slender fingers through his hair, his expression almost troubled. He lets his eyes flutter down to the record, his heart twisting in his chest. 

“Management thought it was too...” he trails off, struggling to find the right words to say. “It was too…intimate. Josh wouldn't budge on it. We all tried. We had so much other material...We could have gone a completely different direction. But Josh just–He wouldn't. Said it was this or nothing. This is ultimately what ended everything.”

“Oh my god, I– I had no idea.” you whisper, still hearing the beautiful and deeply personal lyrics playing in the background. 

He lets a sharp exhale of air leave his nose, his eyes still focused on the record spinning gently, the sound of Josh's voice filling the small room. His heart is still beating violently, the sound of it thrumming through his body. He shakes his head slightly, his jaw clenching.

He wants to reach out and touch you again, but he suddenly doesn't know what to say. He lets the moment stretch for a few more seconds before he speaks again. “I thought you’d like to hear it.”

“I just can't believe it. It's beautiful, it would have been perfect…”

He swallows, the lump in his throat refusing to go away. He nods in agreement with you, his heart aching. The song is beautiful, it’s sad and lonely and everything that he loves. He looks back at the record, his eyes narrowing as he focuses on the record spinning. 

“Yes...it would have been…” he mutters, his voice soft.

You feel the energy between you shift, his eyes are staring into yours, deep and dark, and you can’t seem to look away. His hands on your skin are burning through you like fire, and you can’t help but to fall deeper into the flames. 

He swallows, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. His eyes are locked on to your face, a mixture of sadness and something else in his gaze. He feels his fingers twitching slightly, almost itching to reach out and touch you again, the burning in his body becoming increasingly more intense with each passing second.

“God…” he mutters, his voice low.

You place your hands on his chest, feeling his warmth against your palms. His face is inches from yours, and you know in this moment that he wants you just as badly as you want him.  

The thumping in his chest increases, the sound of his heart beating in his ears almost deafening at this point. He can feel the tension in his body increase, his blood rushing through his veins. He reaches up, his fingers grasping the back of your neck, his body on autopilot at this point. He pulls you flush against him, the burning in his body increasing to the point of being almost painful.

He’s aware of the record still spinning in the background, but the only thing he can focus on is you. His hand slides up your neck to the back of your head, his fingers getting lost in your hair. He lets out a huff of air, the breath shuddering slightly, his body shaking. His eyes are focused on yours, the deep brown of them almost completely lost to the black of his expanding pupils. He feels your hands against his chest, the warmth of your body against his leaving a scorching trail across his skin. 

“Can I kiss you?” he breathes, his eyes never leaving yours. 

“Please,” you whisper.

He lets out a growl as he slams his lips against yours, his hand in your hair pulling you in tighter against him. The action makes his heart jump, his chest tight and aching. He kisses you hungrily, his body on fire as he tastes you through the kiss. He parts your lips with his, his tongue exploring your mouth with an increasing sense of urgency.

He tastes of Whiskey and peppermint, his lips warm as they envelop yours. His hands are tight against your head, gripping into your hair so firmly it’s almost as if he believes you will float away. Your hands travel beneath the opening of his shirt, feeling his warm chest on your fingertips. A hum leaves his lips as his tongue twists with yours, his legs walking the two of you backwards to an oversized velvet chair. 

He moans as your fingers touch his skin, your warmth igniting something dangerous inside of him. He can’t help the way his body reacts, the way his fingers grip your hair a little more firmly, his body becoming almost starved of all things rational.

He continues to kiss you desperately, the taste of you leaving him wanting more. He guides you backwards, the back of his legs hitting the chair, causing him to stumble slightly before sitting down in it, pulling you into his lap without breaking the kiss.

Your legs straddle him, his hands automatically finding their way to your hips as he pulls you down further. He breaks the kiss, panting slightly as he pulls just far enough away to look at your face, his eyes raking over your features, taking in the flush creeping over your cheeks. “God, you're beautiful…” he mutters, his voice low and gravelly. “C’mere, sweetheart.” 

Your insides turn to a puddle as his words float through your mind. All you can focus on is the feeling of his hands on your body, and the taste of his lips on yours. You can feel him growing hard beneath you, his hips moving upwards to meet yours ever so slightly. 

He lets out a low moan as he feels you move against him, his body reacting immediately to the contact, a shiver rushing through his body in response. He lets his hands grip your hips again, fingers digging into the soft skin there, the motion making his heart pound. He leans back in, capturing your lips in a kiss, the action full of hunger and need. He can’t get enough of you, the warmth of your body against his own almost driving him insane.

You feel his hands trailing up your sides, sliding beneath the hem of your shirt as his lips move to press wet kisses to your neck. His hands stop just at the swell of your breasts, his fingertips gliding gently over the round skin. You pull away from him, looking into his lust blown eyes and nodding your head in approval. 

“Please, Jake,” you beg.

His eyes flutter at the sound of your voice, the sound of your plea making his heart jump in his chest. He lets out a low groan, his body almost shaking at the sound of you begging, his desire increasing tenfold. He lets his lips move back up to your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there gently as you feel his fingers move up, gently skimming the underside of your tits, the touch light and deliberate.

“Tell me you're sure,” he demands. 

“I’m positive.”

He lets out another soft moan against your neck, his fingers gently caressing the soft skin of your sides. He runs his nose along the skin, his head spinning, his body already on edge, the sound of your voice fueling the fire within him. He leans back in the chair, his breathing ragged as he lets his eyes rake over your body, the sight of you straddling him on his lap almost too much to bear.

“Take your shirt off,” he rasps, his eyes glued to you.

You reach for the hem, pulling the fabric over your head as his eyes lock in on your bare chest. His hands move to cup at your tits, sliding around to your back and pulling you in towards his face until his lips connect with the plump skin. You feel his tongue swirling around your nipple as his hands move down your body, pulling your hips harder into his. He growls against your skin, alternating between sucking at your chest and nipping at the sensitive skin. 

“Jake,” you whine, tossing your head back as you revel in the feeling. 

He moans again as you say his name and pulls you tighter against him, his fingers gripping your body possessively, his need growing ever more urgent. “I need you on the bed, sweetheart,” he whispers hoarsely, his words laced with desire.

“So take me,” you answer, looking at his pink swollen lips. 

He smirks at your response, the sound of your words sending a shudder through him, his eyes dark and intense. He doesn’t need to be told twice. He moves quickly, his strong arms scooping you up off his lap and setting you back down on the floor. He stands, his broad stature leading you with ease as he walks out of the room and across his expansive house. 

He leads you to a large bedroom, the room lit only by a small lamp on the bedside table. He walks you quickly over to the bed, the plush comforter and pillows surrounding the king sized bed. He gently pushes you down onto the bed, his body towering over you as he stares down at your half naked body, his eyes practically black with desire.

You can feel the plush bedding beneath you, a dark navy color to compliment the jewel toned walls. Your chest is heaving with want for him, watching as he pulls his black linen shirt over his head.

He stands at the edge of the bed, his shirt tossed to the floor and his muscles taut underneath his skin. His eyes rake over your form on the bed, taking in every little detail, his need increasing by the second. He swallows suddenly, his nerves beginning to take over. It’s been so long since he’s done this with someone. He tries to push down the rising anxiety, his eyes never leaving your face.

You can see the unease on his face, sitting up on your elbows to look at him. “You okay?” you ask gently. 

His heart skips a beat as you ask him the question, the genuine concern in your voice pulling at his heartstrings. He lets out a soft huff of air, shaking his head slightly.

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine,” he reassures, but his voice betrays him, his words coming out as a whisper, his chest tight.

“You look amazing, Jake…”

He can feel another shiver run through him as you speak, your words pulling at him. He swallows, his chest getting tighter, his heart thrumming in his ears.

He takes another deep breath, letting his eyes rake over your body. “You have no idea how beautiful you look right now,” he says quietly, his voice raspy and low, his eyes taking in the sight of you on his bed, your skin practically glowing under the lamplight.

“Touch me,” you breathe. 

He lets out a shuddering breath at your request, his skin prickling at the sound of your voice. He moves fast, closing the few feet between you and crawling onto the bed, his knee on either side of your thighs as he hovers over you. His hand gently cups the side of your face, his thumb tracing your jawline, his other hand running down your side, his touch feather-light. 

You reach up, running your hand across his chest, feeling the smoothness of his skin and the cold metal of his necklaces. You wrap your hand around his neck, guiding his lips back to yours as he lowers himself to hover over you. As his lips connect with yours you feel his free hand unbuttoning your jeans, and pulling the zipper down. 

Your kiss is harsh and needy, wanting him as close as you can get him. You lift your hips to help him slide your jeans off, leaving you in your underwear beneath him. His hand moves to cup at your heat, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as his hair tickles your cheeks. 

He can feel the heat coming off of you, the sensation making him ache for more. He lets out a low hum as his hand runs between your legs, his fingertips gently running over your mound, feeling the heat and the wetness through your panties. He breaks the kiss, his head spinning as desire and need courses through his body. He peppers your jaw and neck with quick kisses, his tongue tracing the sensitive skin.

“God you're so perfect,” he whispers hoarsely, his breath coming out in short pants.

Your hips arch into his touch, silently begging him to remove the barrier between the two of you. “You feel perfect,” you whine, twisting your hand into his hair. 

He lets out a low growl as you pull at his hair, the sound driving him crazy. He can't wait any longer, the burning desire to taste you, to feel you, becoming almost overwhelming.

He lets his hand slip past the elastic of your panties, his fingers slipping through the wetness, a low moan leaving his lips as he touches you. “God you're so ready,” he breathes against your neck.

You whine as his steady hand guides his fingers over your clit, sending a lightning bolt of pleasure through your body. “Fuck,” you whine, “Keep– Keep going.”

He can feel the way you squirm beneath him as his fingers work between your legs, his heart thrumming in his chest at your reaction. He lets out a low groan, his fingers circling your clit as he responds to your request.

“Yeah?” he whispers, his fingers tracing and teasing. “Like that sweetheart?” he asks, delivering a particularly sensual swipe of his fingers. 

You hum in pleasure, letting your eyes flutter closed as you enjoy the sensation. You can hear his pendant tinkling together above your face, committing the sound to memory. He's painfully hard beneath his jeans, the feeling almost uncomfortable in his current position, but his focus is completely on the reaction he's getting out of you, the sound of your pleasure filling his ears, the feeling of your body beneath his fingers making his head spin. 

You feel his hand slide further down, three fingers sliding through your wetness before gently gliding to your entrance. “Two or three baby, you tell me what you want.”

“Tw-Three,” you stammer, quickly correcting yourself.

He lets out another low laugh against your neck, his tongue tracing a line up to your ear. “Good girl,” he murmurs, the sound of the words sending a shiver through your body.

His fingers slide back through your wetness, a soft moan leaving his lips as he presses three fingers in to the knuckle, the feeling lighting your body on fire. “You’re so perfect, sweetheart.” he growls, letting his fingers move perfectly inside of you. 

He lets out a low moan at the sound of his name on your lips, his fingers working inside of you, his knuckles rubbing against your inner walls. He's completely lost in your response, the feeling of you beneath him driving all rational thoughts out of his head.

“That's it, sugar, say my name again,” he commands, his voice low and breathy. “God, you feel so good around me.”

“Jake,” you whine, feeling his thumb move to rest on top of your throbbing clit.

He doesn’t stop his fingers, his thumb gently beginning to rub at your clit, the feeling and sound of you pulling another moan from his mouth. “That’s right sweetheart, let me hear you. Don’t hold back on me.”

You feel your insides starting to tense, your thighs are quivering with anticipation, and your blood is moving through your veins faster than it ever has. You let your eyes open to look at him, completely entranced with the way his fingers are disappearing inside of you. “I'm close, baby.”

He lifts his head to look at your face, his eyes scanning across your features, taking in the flushed appearance and hazy expression on your face. 

“Let go, baby,” he rasps, his fingers increasing their pace. “I wanna see, I wanna hear you cum for me.”

You can hardly deny him, your body giving in to his demands whether you like it or not. Your body tenses around his fingers, your hips rolling up into his touch as the tension snaps inside of you. Your back arches up off the bed as his name falls from your lips, echoing through the air around you as soft curses leave his lips. 

He stares down at your face, watching you come undone beneath him, and it’s the most breathtaking, perfect thing he’s ever witnessed.

He lets his fingers slow as you ride through your orgasm, gently removing them, a low hum leaving his lips as he sits back a bit, his eyes taking in your disheveled form. “God you’re fucking beautiful, baby,” he murmurs against your neck.

You are working steadily to catch your breath, looking at him as he pulls his fingers to his lips. 

He lets his eyes stay on yours as he runs his tongue over his fingers, the taste of you making his head spin and his stomach tense. He moves onto his knees as you settle back down, his eyes roaming over you, the sight of so needy beneath him makes his body ache.

He lets his hands run up your bare legs, gently massaging your thighs and hips. “You okay, sweetheart?” he asks, his voice low and raspy.

“That was,” you pause, letting out a sigh, “Amazing, Jake…”

He lets out a soft laugh at your response, his fingers continuing to massage your skin as he responds. “Yeah?” he asks, a smirk slowly spreading across his lips.

“Yeah, but you already know that,” you counter, pulling him down towards you by the chain of his necklaces. He moves quickly, his body pressed flush to yours before you move to roll him to his back, taking position on top of him. 

His hands rest on your thighs, his thumbs making small circles on your skin as he looks up at you. He lets his eyes rake over your face, his hands gently squeezing your hips, trying to keep the cool demeanor as desire begins to overtake him. 

“Think you’re taking charge here, sweetheart?”

“I know so,” you quip. 

“Only because I’m letting you.” he smirks, moving a hand to rest behind his head as he watches you. 

He looks so good beneath you, the years passed only adding to the natural sexiness he always possessed. Your eyes rake over his body as your fingers move to unbutton his pants.  

He sucks in a deep breath as you get the button unfastened, his entire body practically burning now, his skin overheating. You pull his jeans down below his hips, revealing the thin boxers he’s wearing underneath, and the obvious print of his fully hardened length beneath the fabric. His muscles flex involuntarily as he tries to keep himself in check, but he finds it damn near impossible when you’re looking at him like this. 

You drag your hand over his length, pulling a hiss from his chest. You stroke him through his boxers watching his lips part and his breathing become heavier. 

He can hardly contain himself as you touch him through the fabric, a shuddering gasp leaving his lips, his hands gripping the sheets beneath him. 

“Oh god, baby,” he grits out, his voice strained and harsh. He can’t keep his eyes off you, his heart racing in his chest as you tease him, the friction both incredible and completely torturous.

You move backwards on the bed, letting your fingers dip into the elastic of his boxers, pulling them down his legs as you move further backward. His cock springs free from the confines of the fabric, slapping against his groin with an audible thud. His eyes search yours as you throw his boxers to the floor, reaching for his length and grasping it hot and hard in your fist. 

He lets his tongue run across his dry lips as you continue teasing him, his eyes darkened with lust, his chest heaving as he tries to keep his breathing even. 

“Jesus, sweetheart,” he moans, his hips arching up as you continue your movements, craving more friction, more contact.

You settle yourself between his legs, as you continue to work him, giving him a playful smile before dropping your lips over his length. You can taste the saltiness of his precum on your tongue, and the warmth of his body on your lips. 

He lets out a low moan of pure pleasure as your lips wrap around him, his heart feeling like it’s about to explode in his chest, his body practically on fire. 

“God, yeah, that’s it baby,” he grits out, his hands gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white. “Just like that.” He can’t help but let his hips roll up into your mouth, the feeling and the sight of you, almost too much to take.

You flatten your tongue against him as you take him further into your mouth, feeling his tip brush at the back of your throat. His hips jerk into you, his own primal need for more manifesting. When you don’t gag, it takes him by surprise, his eyes widening as he looks at you. 

“Fuck sweetheart, and I didn’t think you could get any better.”

You pull back a bit, sucking as you withdraw your mouth, cupping his balls and pulling a whine from his chest. 

“God, yes,” he whines, “Doing fucking amazing.”

You begin to bob your head up and down at a faster pace, feeling his cock start to thicken in your hand. You pull your mouth from him, letting a string of saliva drip down the side of his length. Your eyes never leave his as you lick up the underside of his shaft, savoring the taste of his skin and the feeling of his veins on your tongue. 

He practically whimpers at the feeling of your tongue on him, his chest heaving, his body practically trembling with need. He can feel himself getting closer with every movement of your mouth and hand, his eyes locked on yours as he tries to keep control of himself.

He’s on the edge, desperate for release, his body arching up into you. “Keep going, baby, don’t stop,” he moans out, his voice ragged and breathless. 

You quicken your pace, eyes locked on him as you continue to work him towards his release, the jerking movements of his cock in your mouth letting you know its arrival is imminent. You hum around him, letting the vibrations of your voice work him even closer. 

“Goddamn, Y/N,” he pants, gripping his hand into your hair. His grip is firm and his eyes are pleading, so you give in and give him the approval he is looking for. 

In seconds you feel his hand guiding your head at a much faster pace, the head of his cock repeatedly hitting the back of your throat as he curses in pleasure. It’s only a few seconds before you feel him starting to twitch against your tongue, his hand loosening its grip in your hair. 

His breathing becomes ragged as he guides your head, his hips bucking and rolling as he gets closer to the edge. “Look at me,” he demands. 

Your eyes immediately meet his, and suddenly you feel the rush of bitter warmth as it flows across your tongue and down your throat. 

“Take it, fucking take it,” he groans, his hips still moving on their own as he spills into your mouth. 

As you swallow down the last of his release, he lets his head fall back on the pillow, his chest heaving and his heart still racing as he comes down from the high. He looks back up at you, his eyes dazed and half-lidded, his breathing labored. 

“Jesus,” he rasps, his hand falling from your hair. You move to stand at the end of the bed, tossing your hair over your shoulders and sliding your thong down your legs. He watches you intently, his eyes taking in the sight of your naked body, causing his cock to harden once again. He strokes it a few times, still feeling sensitive from his last orgasm. 

“I want you, Jake,” you whisper, kneeling back onto the bed. 

“Come here,” he replies, his voice a low, gruff whisper. He sits up, his eyes still taking in every inch of you, his body practically aching with need, his heart thrumming in his chest. He holds a hand out to you, his eyes locked on yours.

You move towards him, taking his hand as you step closer, your body coming flush with his as he pulls you into his lap. He lets his hands move to your hips, pulling you even closer until you're straddling his thighs, his breath catching in his chest as he looks at you.

“You want me to ride you, baby?” you ask, a mischievous smile on your lips. 

“Fuck yeah,” he growls, pulling your wet cunt into direct contact with his cock. 

“Or,” you pause, pushing up a little, “Would you rather have me on my hands and knees?”

The question makes his heart skip a beat, and he lets out a low groan, his hands gripping tighter on your hips.He hesitates for a moment, his eyes locked on yours, and when he speaks his voice is low and rough. 

“That's not fair,” he says, his hands moving to the small of your back, pulling you closer against him.

“Why not?” you ask, pretending not to understand his conundrum. His hands remain firm on your body as he responds, his voice a low, huskier version of his normal tone. 

“Because I'm trying to show you some restraint, and you're making it very difficult for me, sweetheart,” he says, his eyes flicking between yours as he looks at you.

“Who said I wanted you to show restraint?” you ask, wanting everything he had to offer. 

His eyes darken as you challenge him, his hand gripping tighter on your hip. “You're playing with fire, angel,” he warns, his voice strained as he tries his hardest to keep control of himself.

He can feel the way your body responds to his touch, and he can tell you want more, and god knows he wants more too. You roll your wet pussy against the head of his cock in an attempt to press him even further. 

“Last chance baby,” he warns. 

You suck a wet kiss to his chest, giving him your answer. He pushes you up, and rolls you off of him, standing from the bed as he snaps his fingers. “Hands and knees,” he barks, pointing to the center of the bed.

The demanding quality of his voice sends a flood of arousal to your core. You follow his command, getting on your hands and knees in the middle of the bed, your heart pounding in your chest as you hear him move behind you.

He walks over to his bedside table, pulling open the bottom drawer and grabbing a silver foil packet from the strip. He rips the packaging open with his teeth, spitting the corner out to the floor before rolling the latex over his throbbing cock. 

He moves closer to you, his body now completely flush against yours, his hands on your hips to keep you in place. When he speaks, his voice is low and rough, his breath hot against your ear.

“You ready for me, sweetheart?”

“Yes,” you breathe, anticipating his first move. 

His hands tighten on your hips as you reply, his heart racing as he hears the need in your voice. He leans down, his lips close to your ear as he responds, his words a low, gruff whisper. “Good girl.”

He moves his hips behind you, positioning himself at your entrance. He takes a moment to compose himself, wanting to savor this moment. His grip on your hips is firm, but his touch is gentle as he slowly pushes into you, a low moan leaving his lips as he does. 

“God, you feel so good, baby,” he whispers, his body trembling against yours. 

The stretch is indescribable, the burning fullness as he fully sheaths himself inside you is nothing like you could have ever imagined. You can feel the throb of his cock against your walls and the way his hands grip into your hips as he adjusts to the snug sensation overwhelming his senses. 

“Jake, oh my god,” you whine, feeling his hand slide around to grip your chest. He pinches your nipple between his fingers as he drags his tongue down your spine. 

“I know baby, you feel incredible,” he says, starting to move his hips at a faster pace. 

The room is starting to grow hot, his headboard tapping the wall with every thrust into you. You can’t seem to stop the continuous flow of noises leaving your chest, only offset by the sound of his hips slapping against your ass. 

“Jake, baby,” you cry out, his hips slamming into your at a bruising pace. 

“I warned you sugar,” he pants, “I know you can take it.”

He’s right, the pleasure is overriding the pain, leading you towards what you know will likely be the best orgasm of your life. You begin to clench around him as curses fall from his lips, his hands gripping into your shoulders, pulling you back to meet each thrust. 

You can feel his hair as it drags across your back, his lips pressing into the arch of your back. “So fucking good for me, sweetheart.”

You know you aren’t going to last much longer, the need for release inching its way closer and closer to the forefront of your mind. 

“Baby,” you whine, looking over your shoulder at him. He’s the picture of perfection, hairline dotted with sweat as his chest glows. 

“There’s those pretty eyes,” he smirks, “Have half a mind to turn you over, just so I can look at them when I cum.” he ponders, his hips slowing slightly, “You know what, I think I will.”

He pulls out of you quickly, guiding you down to your back before slipping right back into you with a groan. 

“Goddamn, perfect pussy,” he murmurs, “Look at me, beautiful.”

You let your eyes meet his, his hair framing his face now as his pendants drag over your skin. Your hand moves to cup at his neck, your thumb splayed wide over his throat. 

“Mmmm, yeah,” he growls, “This was the right choice.”

You wrap your legs around his back, his free hand coming down to grip at your ass. His thrusts are starting to become more erratic, his pace slightly off from the consistent speed he was working at earlier. Again you feel the warmth in your stomach starting to creep up your chest and you know that it will be only seconds until your undoing. 

His breaths are coming in short, ragged gasps, his heart racing in his chest. He can hear the sound of your bodies colliding over and over again and it only fuels his fire. As he feels you start to get closer, he pushes himself even further, wanting to give you everything he has. 

His hand snakes up your body, cupping at your face and letting his thumb trail over your kiss swollen lips. You part them, allowing him to press his fingers to your tongue. You close your lips around them, letting your tongue work at the digits, and suck them without breaking eye contact. 

You feel his cock jump inside of you, and you know that you’re both there, but prolonging the moment as long as you can. He presses his fingers to the back of your throat, your eyes watering instantly as you gag around them. 

“There it is,” he grins, “Just had to hear it.” 

He pulls his wet fingers from your mouth and immediately presses them to your clit, circling around the throbbing nub to get you to the finish line with him. 

“Cum for me, baby,” he demands, “Cum with me.”

“I want you, Jake,” you beg, “All of you.”

He lets out a low moan as you speak, the tone of your voice setting his body on fire. He knows what you're saying, what you're asking of him, and who is he to deny you?

“All of you, Jake… Take it off…” you whine. 

He lets out a deep growl as you beg, his body trembling with need. He wants to give you what you want, but he also wants to show restraint, his self control hanging by a thread. 

“You sure, baby?” he asks. 

“Yes, please,” you beg, “Want it so bad. Want to feel you.”

He can't hold back any longer, your words pushing him over the edge. “God damn it,” he growls, his body trembling. He pulls out of you, ripping the condom off and tossing it to the floor, pushing back inside of you with a sinful groan. 

“Jesus fucking christ,” he pauses, “This what you wanted, baby? You want my fucking seed? Need to feel me all nice and warm inside you?”

“Yes Jake, Oh god– you’re so– give it to me baby,” you cry out, finally feeling the full warmth of his cock inside of you, stretching and filling you so perfectly. 

“I’m there sweetheart, gonna fuckin cum,” he growls, his eyes locked on yours as his hips slam into you. “Soak me beautiful, squeeze my cock while I cum in this pussy.”

His words send you over the edge, your world exploding around you as the sound of his grunts fill the air you seem to be floating in. He’s hot as he spills inside of you, sweat dripping down his chest in salty rivulets. 

His lips crash to yours as he works you through it, his tongue dancing with yours as you both start to come down from your orgasms.  He breaks the kiss after a moment and rests his forehead against yours, his breathing coming out ragged, his eyes still locked on yours.

“Goddamn, baby, I think that almost killed me,” he laughs, “Was hot as fuck.”

You laugh, as you kiss him again, his smile making your heart flutter in your chest. “You're hot as fuck, so it wasn't hard.”

He laughs at your reply, the sound deep and velvety. “Oh, flattery will get you everywhere, sweetheart,” he replies, his hand coming up to brush a strand of hair from your face. 

He's still trying to catch his breath, his heart still racing from the exertion, but he still has enough energy to pull you closer against him, his hands gently rubbing your back as he speaks. “But you’re only adding to my ego.”

“I knew you were still in there somewhere,” you tease. 

He pulls out of you, the evidence of his release slipping between your thighs. “You know, I did not expect my night to go like this.” he smirks, standing from the bed and making his way to the bathroom. 

“Glad it did,” you smile, watching his perfect round ass make its way to the sink. He returns a minute later with a wet towel, gently cleaning you up as he showers you with praise. 

“I’d like you to stay here, if you’d like.” he asks, nervously, sliding back into the bed next to you. 

“I have a flight in the morning,” you counter, biting at your bottom lip. 

He pulls you into his side, pushing the hair away from your face as he sighs, “I see,” he pauses, swallowing nervously, “Just stay, and you can leave at whatever time you need to, I would just really like to spend the rest of the night with you here.”

You can't help but smile at the sound of his words, your heart fluttering in your chest. You nod, snuggling closer into his side, your head resting against his chest. “I think I can manage that,” you reply, your voice soft and gentle.

You can feel his heart beating beneath your ear, the steady rhythm comforting you. You close your eyes for a moment, just enjoying the feeling of his body close to yours. He reaches over and turns off his lamp, leaving the room in darkness. 

“Thank you, for the rose…” you whisper into the darkness. 

His hand moves to stroke your hair once again, his eyes roaming over your face in the darkness. “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he replies, his voice soft and sincere. “Wish it would have happened twenty five years ago,” he says, his words a light tease.

“I’ll keep it forever.”

“You better,” he teases, a hint of a chuckle in his voice, “I expect to see it on Instagram by morning, and don’t forget to tag me.”

You slap at his chest playfully, the joking quality of his voice very present. “Be careful or I just might.”

He laughs, his hand moving to the spot you slapped his chest. “Oh no, please don’t,” he teases in mock horror. He pulls you closer to him, and sighs in contentment, his heart feeling light and happy for the first time in a long time. 

—

Your phone buzzing on the nightstand wakes you, your alarm set for 5:00AM. The room is still pitch black, the black velvet curtains shrouding the windows and keeping the light from entering. The air is cool, a little too cold for your liking but the heaviness of the sheets make it bearable. You can feel Jake’s body heat beneath the sheets, radiating and keeping you warm for most of the night. His hands never left your body, keeping you close to him even in his sleep. You slept peacefully, though as you start to move around you notice the soreness of your muscles. You know you have to get up, you have to find your clothes and get back to your hotel before your flight. 

You turn to look at Jake, still sleeping next to you. His lips are parted, soft puffs of air drifting between them as his eyelids move. His hair is pulled back away from his face, revealing his ear and the column of his neck. His hand rests gently on your pillow, his fingers twitching in his sleep and bringing a smile to your lips. 

You roll over towards the nightstand, noticing that the white rose he presented you with last night was laying across the length of the small table, and you know he must have placed it there at some point during the night. The petals have opened more now, and your heart flutters as you remember him giving it to you. You grab your phone and open the camera, snapping a photo of the rose on the nightstand just to remember the moment.

You take in the sight of him one last time before silently slipping out of the bed, feeling very exposed as you look around the dark room in search of your clothes. You redress yourself as quietly as possible, remembering that you shed your shirt in his office. You grab your rose, and take one last look at his perfect sleeping form before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and slipping out of the large wooden door and into the hallway. 

You make your way to his music room, seeing your shirt still laying on the floor and the record still spinning idly as the speakers crackle. You grab your shirt and pull it over your head, deciding to stop the turntable and place the record back into his collection. You take another look around the room, overcome with emotion as you look at the young faces on the posters and in the photos hanging on the walls. 

Twenty minutes later you’re notified that your Uber is outside, and a pang of sadness washes over you. You know you have to leave but part of you wants to stay. To get back in bed with Jake in hopes of a round two, to see his morning face and hear the raspiness of his voice, but you can’t. You decide to leave with the memories and your rose, watching his house pass by the windows as the car pulls out of his driveway. 

Your mind is swirling with thoughts of last night, the way he felt, the way he tasted. You scroll through the photos of the two of you at the bar, feeling a weight settle on your shoulders as you realize you will likely never see him again. In an effort to lift your spirits you pull up your group chat with your friends, forgetting that you sent them the photo of the two of you last night. You never thought to check their replies, feeling so caught up in your time with Jake that it never crossed your mind. 

You’re instantly reduced to laughter as you read their desperate replies, catapulting you back twenty years when you all wished to run into him at a bar by chance. You sent a few laughing emojis and gave them all a quick run down of the night, finishing off your message with a picture of the white rose on the nightstand. 

Their reactions were exactly as you expected, complete panic and begging for every single detail. 

—

As you make your way through airport security you deposit your things into the large plastic bins, walking through the metal detector and out again, grabbing your bag and shoes from the end of the conveyor belt. 

It’s a short walk to your gate, your flight home seeming daunting after the night you’d had. It had been a few hours now and still you couldn’t shake the thoughts of him from your mind. You knew you should be happy for that one perfect night with him, but you felt something with him. Something you hadn’t felt in years. Something different.  

You take a seat at your boarding gate, letting out a sigh as you settle into the stiff airport chair. You can still smell the remnant of his cologne on your body, and you can almost feel his lips on your neck. A swirling feeling takes up residence in your stomach and your skin feels warm. You decide to take your mind off of him, reaching into the front pocket of your purse for your phone, but feeling something else against your fingers instead.

As you pull the items out of your bag, you feel as if your heart might stop in your chest. A small folded piece of paper emerges from the pocket with a note written inside. A relic falls into your hand as you open it, small and black and aged from wear over the years. A guitar pick, adorned with the ‘Age of Machine’ symbol sits perfectly in your hand. You feel your eyes well with tears at the special gift, letting them flick over to the note written in his messy handwriting. 

Every Jake girl needs a pick. I hope you enjoy this one from my personal collection. Might even be the last one in existence. Thank you for everything tonight, your kindness to me will never be forgotten. You’ve reignited my spark in more ways than one.

P.S. - Check your phone

Love, Jake

With your newly acquired pick in your hand you reach into your purse, pulling your phone out as quickly as possible. On the screen you see more texts from your friends, but more importantly you see a text from Jake, who not only sent those photos to himself, but added his contact information into your phone. Your thumb shakes as you open his text, nervous to see what he has sent.

JK

9:47AM: I’m guessing you found my note and it led you here. I hope you like the pick and that you will hold on to it for me. I meant what I said in that note and here’s your proof. Thought of this last night and recorded it this morning just after you left. It’s all thanks to you. Give it a listen and call me when you land. Hope to hear from you soon. 

An attachment was sent along with his message, and as it opens you realize it's an audio file, but not just any audio file. It’s him, playing music the way he was always meant to. 

JakeSoloDemo.mp3

As you listen to the track you feel a sense of pride swell in your chest. You’d brought him out of his shell, and all it took was a few encouraging words and letting him know that people still cared. You read over his message again and again, debating whether or not to text him back now, or wait to call him when you landed like he asked, but either way he wanted to hear from you, and the promise of the conversation to come was enough to keep a permanent smile on your lips for the rest of time.

Sure, you may have reignited his spark, but maybe, just maybe, he reignited yours, too. 

Taglist: @gretavanmoon@britney-gvf @sacredstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @writingcold @builtbybrokenbells @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @fleet-of-fiction @milkgemini @ageofcj@dancingcarbon @highway-tuna @stardustjake @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfmarge @gracev0609 @myleftsock @literal-dead-leaf @peaceloveunitygvf @ageofbajabule @jordie-gvf @sadiechar @tinydancer40 @rosabellagvf @capnjaket @lyndz2names @thetroublegetssoloud71 @gretavanomens @spark-my-nature @josh-iamyour-mama @anythingforjtk @alwaysonthemend @danieljlmwagner @klarxtr @fortunatelytinybasement @demonrat444 @gretavansara @watchingover-hypegirl @hippievanfleet @digitalnomadz @raviolilegs @lipstickitty @hippievanfleet @klarxtr @strange-whorizons @do-it-jakey-baby @myownparadise96 @gvf-luna @starshine-wagner @cassiesgreta @joopsandjangs @whimsiliz @kiszkas-canvas @joopsandjangs @broken0mens @scoreofinfantryvines @whereiskeara @do-it-jakey-baby @miravanfleet @heckingfrick @gvfpal @watchingover-hypegirl @starshine-wagner @indigobrea @slut4lando @justdamnpeachy @sacredtheslay @jakekiszkashangnail08 @dayumclarizzel @objectsinspvce @gracev0609 @kisskiss-atticus @i-love-gvf @whimsiliz @dilflover-4ever

[gretavangroupie]

Recommendations

After countless asks in our inbox, Jules and I have put together a list of some of our favorite fics - the ones we find ourselves reading time and time again. Hopefully there will be a few on here that you haven't read yet and will fall in love with too!

Jake:

Green Eyed Monster - @builtbybrokenbells

Covet - @jakeyt

Le Morte d'Arthur - @joshym

Until This Is Over - @abeautylives

Cream & Sugar - @sacredthefran

Melodic Memories - @builtbybrokenbells

Come Over - @milkgemini

Valence - @gretavanfleetposts

Imperfect Moments - @abeautylives

Disgrace - @gretavanfleetposts

Lost Boys - @tlexx

The Vanishing - @fleet-of-fiction

Amongst The Wildflowers - @jakeysfallingsky

The Lovers - @age-of-greta

Behind Closed Doors - @anthemofgvf

Decorum and Refinement - @gretavanlace

Rotten Apple - @builtbybrokenbells

Pictures of Time - @farfromthehomelands

Capital Vices - @builtbybrokenbells

Anything for You - @themoreyou-love

What Is and What Should Never Be - @devilat-thedoor

Bound - @gvfgal

Best Laid Plans - @writingcold

Josh:

It's Never Over - @builtbybrokenbells

Eternal - @readyforthegarden

Honey - @caravelmp3

Endless Summer - @anthemofgvf

Troubled Mind - @britney-gvf

Trip Around the Sun - @abeautylives

The Sex Scene - @fleet-of-fiction

Sam:

Picasso - @builtbybrokenbells

The Moon - @age-of-greta

Karma Sutra - @obetrolncocktails

Pink Lemonade - @garbagevanfleet

Daniel:

Belladonna - @builtbybrokenbells

Emerald Green - @hearts-hunger

Too Late to Go Back - @stardustndreamsofsilver

Four Weddings and A Funeral - @hearts-hunger

Guilty Pleasures - @builtbybrokenbells

Illicit Affairs - @aflame4goinghome

Forbidden Twins:

Gold Dust Woman - @builtbybrokenbells

Cruel Summer - @sacredstarcatcher

[gretavangroupie]

Amor Fati - I

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 12.3k

Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol, Talks of Marriage, Kissing, Angst, Rejection, Embarrassment, Driving Under the Influence, Yelling, Arguing, Gaslighting, Begging, Heartbreak, Crying.

A/N: This is part one of what will be a two part series. This series will not be for everyone. It will be full of angst and hurt and I implore you to read the warnings before you start to make sure this is something you are prepared for. If you would like to be added to the tag list, please send me a message. Thanks for reading.

JAKE POV

No one can make a left shoe right. Even walking barefoot hurts in the beginning. Those first few steps are painful, yet necessary in order to move forward. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. You suffer through it because you know you have no other choice. You learn to cope until you no longer feel the pain. Until you find your normal. No one ever said it would be easy. As for now though, it’s your own two feet that will have to bear the burdens of your heart, carrying you forward until the pain fades away and you find that normal you thought you once knew. 

–

The door is locked and the lights are dim, the dining chairs sitting perfectly in their spots around the table. The house is quiet, just the hum of the refrigerator and the soft tinkling as heat filters through the air vents. Though, you swear you can hear the persistent drip, drip, drip of the water slipping away down the kitchen sink as you lie awake in your bed. You stare at the ceiling, eyes trained on the hairline crack that runs the length of your bedroom. You wonder how it got there. How long it had been there. Were there any signs before it cracked? Before the integrity was completely lost, giving way to the fault? Was there less stress now that it cracked? Would it be better off this way? Or would it continue to deteriorate and live in a state of disrepair until someone came along and tried to fix it? 

Drip, drip, drip. 

God, would you ever fix that faucet?

You rip the sheets from your body and throw them down to the bed, storming down the stairs until you’re standing in front of the sink. You watched it, waited for it, willed it to happen. 

Drip, drip, drip. 

You jiggle the handle, but it’s tight. The valve is shut. You smack your hand against the spigot, a few more drops falling quickly to the drain. “Goddamn you.” you growl, watching again as it drip, drip, drips, mocking you, as if telling you you’re a failure. 

You crouch down below, opening the cabinet forcefully and tossing away the items to access the water shut off valve. You twist the knob and turn off the water before standing again to observe the faucet. You pull the handle to release the rest of the water in the line letting a small stream pour out before the line runs dry. No more water. No more drip. You cut it off at the source. 

How many times had she asked you to look at it? How many times did you tell her you would, but never did?

With a huff you closed the cabinets and made your way back upstairs, trudging slowly through the eerily silent house. You slid back into bed and turned off your lamp, hoping the darkness of the room would guide you into another restless sleep. Your body starts to relax, your mind drifting in and out of hazy dreams and memories, eventually succumbing to the exhaustion that has been plaguing you for days. 

Drip, drip, drip. 

It was closer. You sat up straight in your bed, listening, making sure you weren’t dreaming. You sat and waited, the flashing clock on your nightstand lighting the room in a red glow, your weary eyes still trying to adjust. 

Drip, drip, drip. 

The bathroom.

You get up, needing to see for yourself that you weren’t crazy, and sure enough as you flicked on the light switch and settled in front of the sink, you watched it.

Drip, drip, drip.

The water had found a new path. 

—

TWO MONTHS EARLIER

You sit at the kitchen counter, swiping away emails from your inbox, offloading some of the anxiety of that little red bubble. It felt as though for every one you deleted, three more would take its place. That’s how a lot of things have felt lately. 

Your eyes catch sight of her stepping into the kitchen, your shirt hanging loosely from her shoulders as she steps up to the stove to grab the tea kettle. You look at her for a few seconds before you turn your eyes back to your inbox and continue your mission. If you could just do this one thing, maybe you could relax for a minute. 

“Jake? Tea?” she asks, pulling your focus away. 

“Huh? Oh, uh, no thanks.” you answer, trying to refocus.

She fills the tea kettle and places it on the burner, pulling the box of teabags from the pantry. “Babe, I know you’ve got a lot going right now, but when you get a chance the faucet is still leaking. It drips constantly now. I know you’re leaving soon so if you can’t do it I can call someone or–”

“No.” You snap, letting your eyes meet hers. “I’ll deal with it, just give me a damn minute alright?”

Her voice is quiet, and she recoils enough that you notice. “Okay...”

You instantly feel remorse for snapping at her, running your hand over your face to recenter yourself. “I’m sorry. Look, I’m sorry. I’ll fix it. I swear. I just have to… deal with some other stuff first, okay?” you say, softening your tone and doing your best to smooth things over, but knowing the kitchen sink is low on your priority list.

Her face falls a bit, and you can see the defeat pouring off of her. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m sorry.” she says, shaking her head softly as if feeling guilty for even bringing it up. 

You manage to swipe away a few emails, seeing her continue to glide around the kitchen for a few more minutes before quietly making her way into the living room. As she disappears from view you drop your phone with a sigh, resting your head in your hands as you stare down at the counter below you. You can’t seem to shake the guilt coursing through you for being so short with her. She didn’t deserve that. And the look on her face? Why did you keep doing this?

You hear the water as it drips into the sink. Now that she mentioned it, you had noticed it. How long had it been like that? 

The tea kettle starts to whistle, steam spewing from the spout, and in seconds she’s back in view, pulling it from the burner and grabbing a mug. You return back to your emails, swiping them away and slowly making progress. Just a few more. 

It’s the mug sliding towards you that grabs your attention this time, the warm minty aroma filling your nose. You look up and see her leaning against the other side of the counter, pushing the honey towards you hesitantly. 

You furrow your brow as you speak, “But I said–”

“I know what you said, but after five years I also know what you need.” she answers with a playful raise of her brow and gentle smile, grabbing her own mug and walking into the living room to leave you to your emails. 

It was that moment. That steaming hot cup of mint tea presented to you so lovingly, despite your coldness, that suddenly gave you the clarity you needed. Of course she knew what you needed. She knew you better than anyone. She’d known for years. 

Your heart started to race as you realized just how long it had been. How many Christmases, birthdays, career milestones, and even more, how many tours had she been around for? Five years? Shit. 

Your eyes flashed over to the calendar on the fridge, seeing today's date with a heart and a five. Today was your anniversary, fuck. You’d forgotten. 

Five years with her. The love of your life. It didn’t seem that long, but the more you thought about it, it really was all you could remember. You saw every single memory shared between the two of you flashes before your eyes in highspeed, from the first kiss to now, all of it stopping abruptly as the sound of a new email entering your inbox rang through the air. 

You couldn’t look, though. You were stunned. Frozen in place as you watched the steam rise from the top of the black speckled mug.

It was time. You knew and she knew. Everyone around you knew what was supposed to happen now. What needed to happen now.

But you also knew you couldn’t give her that. You’d never be able to give her that. 

No matter how badly you wanted it.

—

HER POV

Your mug is practically scalding your hand as you walk into the living room, your parting sentence still swirling around in your head. You place the steaming mug on the coffee table and make yourself comfortable on the couch, grabbing the old worn in red quilt Jake’s grandmother made him when he was born. It’s threadbare and has a few worn spots where you can see the cotton batting inside, but those are your favorite parts. It smells like him, it always has, finding him wrapped up in it on the couch late at night more often than he would ever be willing to admit.

You lean forward to grab the mug of mint tea you’d made, breathing in the soothing aroma and hoping that it will calm the underlying tension in your body. The house is silent, Jake still doing whatever it is he’s doing on his phone, something work related if you had to guess. You can hear him sipping from the mug of tea he was quick to say he didn’t want, but you made anyway. After all this time you knew that even though he said no, he really meant yes. You hoped it would help him with his stress in much the same way you hoped it would help you relax. 

You knew that really he was past the point of stress, preparing to leave for tour in a few weeks. The new album release and the planning of tour had taken an obvious toll on him. His normally calm and level headed demeanor had become a bit short fused and volatile over the last few weeks. You knew it was just a phase and that in time it would pass as things started to level out again, at least typically it did. So for the time being you kept your cool and helped him whenever you could with whatever you could, hoping it would take some of that mental load away from him.  

Today though, today was your anniversary. Five years spent together and it seemed to go by in a flash. It truly felt like only a few days ago you watched the long haired stranger as he sauntered into the coffee shop and plucked his coffee from the pickup counter, mistaking your order for his own. It felt like only minutes since the first ‘I love you’, and only seconds since you moved into his home across town, finding a place for your own things amongst his. Now, years later you sat here under his favorite blanket, sipping tea as the two of you prepared to fly halfway across the world to keep pursuing that dream he told you about over a mistaken vanilla latte. 

You're pulled from your daydream as you hear the soft padding of his feet against the hardwood floors making their way towards you. His expression softens a bit as he sees you wrapped up in the quilt, stopping to lean on the door frame. He bites his lips together and slips his phone back into his pants pocket. “I have to run a quick errand…”

Your eyes flick to the clock hanging on the wall then back to him. As if he can see your gears turning he nods his head, “I’ll be back in time, I promise.” he smiles, letting his toes kick at the tassels on the rug. “But also, Josh texted me a little bit ago, they want to meet up later tonight.”

You recoil a little, “They?”

“Yeah, uh, I think everyone is planning to be there tonight.” he answers, his tongue gently grazing his bottom lip. 

“Everyone? Really? That’s–”

“Weird, I know, must be a special occasion.” he smirks, raising an eyebrow. 

“They know it's our anniversary, right?” you ask, still a little confused why everyone was planning to make an appearance tonight when typically they couldn’t be bothered to all be in the same place at once during a break. 

“Yeah, yeah, they know. I told them we wouldn’t be there until after dinner. I mean, if you want to go.” he says, letting the decision lie in your hands. 

“Do you know where they want to go?” you ask, not that it really mattered.

“Sam mentioned Bay 6, but Josh said Jane’s. Not sure just yet. I’m sure they would be fine with wherever if you had something else in mind.”

“Do you have something else in mind?” you counter, trying to scope out his interest in the invitation.

“Not particularly, I knew we had dinner plans tonight but…I hadn’t really thought past that. Though, I will say if everyone is going, we probably should too…” He pauses, running his fingers over his mustache. “Let me run this errand and think on it, okay?”

You nod with a soft smile, taking a sip of your tea as he watches you. 

He stares at you for a minute before he pushes off the door frame and starts to walk away, stopping and turning back to look at you. “Thank you, by the way. For the tea.” 

“Oh, you’re welcome, babe.” you answer, seeing him nod his head as he walks towards the front door. “Hey…”

He stops again and looks at you, “Yeah?” he answers, grabbing his keys from the bowl by the door, the metal keychains tinkling together in his hand.

“Love you.”

You watch him swallow hard and see a trace of a smile on his lips, “Yeah, love you too. Be back in a bit.”

As the front door shut behind him you were left in the silence again, you heard his car door close and the engine start. You even listened as his car drove away. You sipped your tea until it was gone, flipping through the channels in an attempt to pass the time until you needed to start getting ready for dinner. You settled on the news, and instead picked up your phone scrolling through various social media apps, listening to the news reporter drone on about the weather impending the next week. 

Opening your texts you see a few unread messages from this morning, mostly friends asking what your plans were this weekend. You see a text from your best friend congratulating you on your anniversary, causing you to laugh because who really keeps up with their friends relationships?

Casey

8:47AM: Happy Anni sweet cheeks! Big plans tonight?

You

4:02PM: Thanks, yeah we are going to Miel, and it sounds like we are meeting up with the rest of the crew tonight for drinks.

Casey

4:05PM: Jeez I thought you were dead. Wait, everybody? All together? Lol

You

4:07PM: Yeah, that’s what I said! Even Jake thought it was strange. Said it must be a special occasion or something, but it sounds like he really wants to go so we probably will. 

Casey

4:08PM: A special occasion…On your anniversary…Of five years…

You

4:10PM: Yes…

Casey

4:11PM: I’m just saying

You

4:12PM: You don’t think…

Casey

4:13PM: I don’t have any idea, I swear, but… It’s been five years, babe.

You

4:14PM: Oh god, I’m going to go get ready. I will call you later.

Casey

4:15PM: Love ya, good luck!

Your heart was pounding in your chest, maybe she was right. What other special occasion could there be? Why else would everyone be suddenly available for drinks? Where was Jake now? What errand was he running? Maybe that is why he’s been acting so strange.

You toss the blanket off of your body and run upstairs, knowing that if tonight was what you thought it was, you needed to look even better than your best, and you needed to start now.

—

Twirling the round brush through your hair, you let the hot air of the blow dryer style your hair into silky smooth waves around your face. You let your mind wander as you worked through each section, letting it run wild with visions of what could happen tonight. Casey was right, five years was seemingly a pretty long time to date, and considering the two of you already lived together, the next logical step would be engagement. You knew you were ready, but the idea hadn’t really crossed your mind until she mentioned it. It wasn’t long until your mind was racing with thoughts of how things would change, what would stay the same, and what the rest of your life would look like. 

Satisfied with your hair, you sprayed it down with a light mist of hairspray, running your fingers through it to loosen up the waves. Had Jake orchestrated all of this? Was this his plan all along? Was he trying to throw me off by saying that Josh asked him to go? Was calling it a special occasion a slip up?

You smiled to yourself as you applied your makeup, adding a little extra blush to your cheeks for some color, even though you were positive the rush of nerves would have you flushed all night long. Could tonight be the night your life would change forever?

You heard the front door open, the chime of the security system alerting you that Jake was home. You tapped your phone screen to check the time, seeing that true to his word he was back in time to get ready to go. You stepped into the bedroom, quickly discarding your clothes and stepping into the silky cream colored dress you picked out for tonight. The thin straps sat softly across your shoulders, the dip of the neckline offering a small taste of cleavage. The hem of the dress sat just above the tops of your knees, a small slit in the fabric showing a little extra skin. You knew it would drive him crazy. He always said he loved the way satin felt in his hands and on more than one occasion mentioned how much he loved the color on you. 

You listened as he made his way upstairs, his feet carrying him slowly towards your bedroom, the smell of your perfume still hanging in the air guiding him right to you. You looked in the mirror, overly satisfied with how you looked, fluffing your waves to hang perfectly over your shoulders just as he rounded the corner into the room. Your eyes caught his in the mirror, a smile turning the corners of his lips as he took in the sight of you. You smiled back at him, reaching over to grab your gold earrings from the dish on your dresser. You put them in without breaking eye contact, completely reveling in the fact that you had captured his full attention. You both looked at each other intently for a few seconds, your heart pounding at just the sight of him. 

Suddenly he broke away, heading for the bathroom. You turned around to see him already gone, turning on the shower as he tossed his clothes to the floor. He pulled the shower curtain closed and you heard the water pouring down around him. You knew he wouldn’t be long so you busied yourself with selecting a pair of heels and finding a clutch to match. 

Throwing the last items from your purse into the clutch, you saw him step back into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was dripping down his back as he walked into the closet, glancing over at you again before looking back at his clothing options. This was something he often did, wanting to make sure he met you at the same level. 

You buckle your heels and stand up from the edge of the bed, grabbing your clutch before making your way downstairs to let him get ready. You walk slowly down stairs, trying to decide if a glass of wine will calm the nerves fluttering throughout your body. Your feet answer for you, carrying you straight to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of Chardonnay. You sip the icy white as you stare out the kitchen window, admiring the soft orangey glow the sunset is casting onto the trees. 

You can hear him walking back and forth in the closet above you, and you know he is being his typical indecisive self. You know it won't be long until he is walking down the stairs in an outfit so perfectly Jake, his eyes searching yours for your approval. You smile thinking about how you will get to enjoy moments like that forever as you toss back the rest of the wine in your glass. 

Ducking into the guest bathroom, you swipe on a new layer of lip gloss, hearing him descend down the staircase. Your heart is thumping, and you can smell his cologne as you twist the lid on your gloss and stash it back in your clutch. You turn around to lean on the sink just as he steps in to find you. 

You take in the sight of him in his black velvet blazer, his damp hair laying across his shoulders, curling up at the ends. His dark shirt is open as usual, his favorite black slacks cuffed at the bottom. “This okay?” he asks, his eyes meeting yours. 

You run your hand over the soft velvet on his chest, tugging slightly at the lapel of his jacket. “Perfect.”

He brings his hand to rest over top of yours, his fingers sliding against the back of your hand, as his other hand snakes around your waist. A gentle hum leaves his chest as he feels the satin beneath his fingers. “You look so beautiful.”

You feel your cheeks heat at his praise, and you can see the glint in his eye as he knows what he's done. He leans in, pressing a featherlight kiss to your cheek, deciding to forgo your glossy lips. “You ready?”

—

Soft guitar music is playing in the background on the drive to the restaurant, the sun completely set and the twinkling city lights on full display. His hand hasn’t left your thigh the entire ride, and you’ve caught him sneaking glances at you when he thinks you aren’t looking. Traffic isn’t too bad considering it’s a Friday night, but you’re thankful you left a little early when it's a battle to find parking. 

Thankfully, after the third circling of the parking lot, he was able to snag a spot right in front of the building. He dashes around to open the door for you, offering his hand as you step out of the car and into the gravel lot. You’re wobbly on your heels until you find your footing, but of course he has your hand, holding you steady. He does drop it though, opting to put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in tightly to his side, and that's when you feel it. A small square object in his coat pocket. 

You couldn’t believe it. You may have even stopped breathing for a second. Was this really it? You turned to look at him, the glowing street lights lighting up his perfect face. 

“What?” he asks, a playful smile on his lips. 

You shake your head quickly with a shy smile, “Nothing. Nothing, just… Happy. And I love you. And I can’t believe I’ve gotten to love you for five years.”

You feel his grip on you tighten as he nods his head. “Best years of my life.”

He grabs the door handle and lets you walk inside, holding it for another couple as they leave. You tell the hostess the reservation name and seconds later you feel his warm hand sliding across your lower back. The hostess leads the two of you to a table towards the back of the quiet, dim restaurant, the tables peppered with red flowers and tea light candles. It really is the perfect atmosphere for what would likely be the best and most memorable night of your life. 

Jake pulls your chair out for you before taking his own seat, fixing his wind blown hair and adjusting his blazer. He pats his hand over his jacket pockets instinctively, his eyes shooting to yours to see if you noticed. You play it off as if you’re perusing the drink menu and you can see him visibly relax as he lets out a content sigh. 

“See anything you like?” he asks, opening his own menu. 

“I think so. Maybe the South by Southwest or maybe the Hanky Panky?” you answer, throwing him a playful smile. 

“The Hanky Panky, hmmm…” he smiles, looking down to the menu to read off the ingredients. “You do like Gin…But the Southwest has Scotch which you also like…Guess it just depends how much you are planning to enjoy yourself tonight.”

“I don’t know, what do you think? Should I get the Scotch drink? Let loose? Enjoy the night?” you tease, trying to press him for a shred of information. 

“Mmm, I think you should go with the Gin. You remember what happened last time you drank Scotch.” he smiles, giving you a wink. 

“I actually don’t, and I think that's part of the problem.” you laugh, closing the drink menu. “Hanky Panky it is. What about you?”

“This tequila drink looks good. Honey Trap?” he says, glancing down to the menu again.

“Sounds like you.” you blush, flicking your eyes up to him. 

He grabs your hand over the table, squeezing it tightly as he looks at you. He parts his lips to speak just as your server approaches the table. Jake turns to him and orders both of your drinks, just like he always does, making your heart flutter inside your chest. The server disappears and again, he places his hand over yours. 

“You look so beautiful tonight, Y/N.” he breathes, the tealight candle flickering in his eyes. “I mean, you always do, but, you just…You’re as beautiful tonight as you were that very first day in the coffee shop. I think about that day a lot, you know.”

“Do you?” you ask, letting a smile form on your lips. 

“Yeah, of course I do.”

You rub your thumb over his, feeling your chest grow warm. His thumb swipes over your fingers, looking down at them for a split second, and you feel your heart beating a little harder. His eyes drift back up to yours as he swallows nervously and you think this might be the moment. 

“Y/N…” he says, squeezing your hand. 

“Yes?” you squeak out.

“Are you okay, you’re breathing really heavy.” he asks, his face becoming a little more serious. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay. Promise.” you smile, as he pulls his hand away from yours and opens his dinner menu. You feel your heart drop a little, but try not to let it discourage you. You do the same, letting your eyes scan over the menu, knowing that part of the reason you both chose this place is because the menu changes every day. You’d both been dying to try it and decided this was the perfect occasion.

The server returns with your drinks, the two of them looking almost too pretty to drink, but that doesn't stop Jake of course, sipping away at his yellow colored drink almost immediately. Yours took on a more orange hue, the glass rimmed with a sugary mixture. You bring it to your lips and sip the orange flavored drink, hoping the gin will calm your nerves and help you get through dinner. 

A few minutes later the server returns to take your order, giving his recommendations and informing you of the special of the day. With both dishes ordered, and another round of drinks on the way, you feel yourself relaxing a bit as you watch Jake’s cheek grow rosy. 

“I’m glad we did this.” you admit, “I miss this when you go.”

He swallows nervously, a wave of guilt washing over him. “I know, I know. It’s the worst part of all of it.” he says, lacing his fingers with yours. His eyes flick up to yours but he seems a little distant, as if there is something he’s not saying. 

You bite your lips together, “But we’re gonna have fun in Europe, right?” 

“Yeah, we will. It’s so beautiful there, you’ll fit right in.” he smiles, squeezing your hand. He reaches into his pocket and you suck in a harsh breath. Your heart leaps in your chest but quickly falls when he pulls his phone out. His eyes quickly glance over the screen before returning it to his pocket.

“They decided on Jane’s. Is that okay with you?” he asks, biting his lips together. 

“Yeah, yeah that’s–that’s great. That’s fine, we haven’t been there in a really long time. One of our first dates.” you answer, swallowing back the lump in your throat. “And everyone is still going?”

“Yeah, they’ll all be there.” he nods, as the server steps up to the table, dropping off the steaming hot plates of food. It smells delicious and looks even better.

“Wow, Jake, this looks amazing.”

“It really does. Happy Anniversary, my love.” he grins, picking up his fork and knife. 

You take a sip of your drink before cutting into your own meal, the two of you savoring every single bite of your dinners until your plates are clean. You continue your casual conversation over the rest of your drinks and you can tell that as the night progresses Jake is starting to become more and more antsy. He’s fidgeting more than usual, his knee bouncing underneath the table, and his mind seems to be going a mile a minute as he speaks. 

Your server approaches your table with two glasses of Champagne, and a slice of chocolate cake, a swirl of the words, ‘Happy Anniversary’ written in chocolate. You and Jake smile at each other, picking up the Champagne glasses, and tapping them gently to each other.

“Wait.” he says, stopping both of you from drinking. “Let me…I just want to tell you something.”

Your heart starts to race again, and you swallow nervously as you nod your head. 

“I just want to say thank you. I know that these past five years haven't been the easiest. I know that this life is hard, but you glide through every single day with such grace and dignity, I sometimes envy you. I never would have thought that my screw up at a coffee shop would have led me to you, but every single day I thank my lucky stars that it did. I love you so much, Y/N. These have truly been the best five years of my life.” he says, a waver of emotion in his voice.

“I love you too, Jake. I can’t imagine my life without you, and I can’t wait to see where life takes us. But first, to Europe…” you smile, tapping your glass to his again. 

“To Europe.” he repeats, sipping down the bubbles from his flute.

He clears his throat and sets the empty glass on the table, and you realize this is it. This is the moment. 

“I uh, I have something for you, I picked it out, actually had it made just for you. I hope that you’ll like it, I just kind of always thought of you having something like this.” he stammers, reaching into his coat pocket to reveal a small black velvet box. Your breath catches in your throat as you eyes flick to his. 

“Jake…”

He starts to open the small velvet box, but you’re taken aback. Why isn’t he on one knee? Why is he being so casual?

As the box springs open, it’s not a ring that you see. It’s a bracelet. A small sterling silver bracelet of two cables braided together. It's a beautiful piece, there is no denying that, but suddenly anything other than a ring seems wrong.

“D-Do you like it?” he asks, watching as you pull the heavy metal bracelet from the box. You slide it onto your wrist, and hold your arm out for him to see. 

“Jake, it’s beautiful.” you answer, trying to stifle back the giant lump in your throat. "So beautiful."

There’s no ring. You were all wrong. 

“I went and picked it up today. It’s been ready for a few weeks. That's where I went this afternoon.” he smiles, examining the silver cuff on your wrist. 

“It’s really really pretty Jake, I love it. Thank you.” you smile, blinking away the tears in your eyes. 

There's no ring.

You felt like such a fool. You should have known better than to get your hopes up. Of course there was no ring. Had you ever even discussed rings?

You stare down at the bracelet on your wrist as the two of you continue to talk over the slice of cake. The shiny silver cuff catches the light as your mind continues to wander. You wonder what kind of ring he would have picked. You wonder why you let yourself believe that this was happening tonight. Then you started to wonder if it ever would happen. The server brings the check, and Jake pays the bill, finishing off the last of his drink before helping you up from your seat. 

Earlier in the night you thought you would be leaving this restaurant engaged, but instead you are walking out the door the exact same way you came through it. And while being Jake’s girlfriend is still one of the best parts of your life, you realize that leaving as his fiancé would have felt a little better. 

You walk hand in hand back to the car, Jake’s thumb grazing yours with every step. He opens the car door for you and helps you inside before joining you and starting the car. The soft music fills the space as you make the trek across town towards Jane’s. Neither of you really says much on the ride. You figure Jake is probably still in a food coma, and you’re lost so deep in your thoughts that you can hardly speak. He doesn’t seem to notice, and if he did, he didn’t show it. 

The gravel crunches beneath his tires as he pulls into Jane’s, the loud music inside the bar audible from inside the car. As he turns off the engine he looks at you tucking your hair over your shoulder as he smirks at you. “You ready?” he asks, letting his warm hand settle on your bare shoulder. “You seem out of it.”

“I’m fine, just um, the drinks are catching up to me, that's all.” you lie. He nods his head and pulls the keys from the ignition, shutting his door behind him before making his way over to you. Again, he helps you out of the car, but this time as you make your way to the door he doesn't take your hand. You try not to think too much of it as you follow him inside. The bar is fairly crowded, and the music is so loud you can hardly think. You place your hand on Jake’s back, trying to follow after him as he weaves through the thick crowd, and finally as you reach the back of the bar it clears up a bit. You see Josh and Daniel, the two of them sitting at a booth sipping from beer bottles, but quickly standing to greet you when they see Jake walking up.

Josh shakes Jake’s hand as Danny pulls you in for a hug. You revel in the comfort of his grip, always loving the way he wrapped you up completely. Josh quickly steals you away from Danny and kisses your cheek as he greets you. “Hello love birds...”

“Hi Josh…” you smile, sliding into the booth next to Jake. “Can’t believe I’ve got you three in the same room right now. Just need Sam for the full set.” you joke. 

“He’ll be here in a minute. He just texted.” Danny says, tapping his phone screen as it lies on the table. 

Jake leans over and whispers into your ear that he’s going to go grab you two some drinks, and with a squeeze of your leg he disappears into the crowd of people. 

Danny tosses back the rest of his beer and turns to look at the two of you. “Actually I need a refill too. Josh?”

Josh nods his head as Danny slides out of the booth, leaving you and Josh alone in the sticky vinyl seat. “So…” he smiles, wiggling his eyebrows.

“So?” you ask, propping your head up on your elbow. 

“Are you ready?” he asks, patting his hand across the top of your thigh.

“Ready?” you ask, and suddenly your chest is swirling with unease.

Ready for what?

“Yeah, for the big surprise?” he answers, his expression confused. 

Surprise? Maybe you were wrong again. 

You smile and shake your head nervously. “I don’t know, I guess so?”

“It’s about time, right?” he laughs, nodding towards Jake as he approaches the table with two very full drinks. 

Then it hits you. Maybe he wanted to wait and do it with his brothers.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess it is, isn’t it...” you agree, sliding over just a bit to let Jake slide in. You feel a whole new wave of hope wash over you. Maybe not all is lost just yet.

“What were you two chatting about, huh? Looking awfully chummy over here.” Jake smiles, setting your drink in front of you. “Bar was slammed, got us both the same thing. It’s Tequila, hope that's okay.”

“Gin and Tequila in one night? I thought you said I shouldn’t get drunk tonight?” you smile, leaning into his side and letting your lips brush against his cheek. 

His hand snakes over onto your thigh, his fingertips squeezing into your skin as he leans into your ear once again. “Never said that. Just want you to remember, that’s all.”

You slowly pull the small black straw to your lips, sipping as you stare at him. His eyes grow dark and you two seem to be lost in your own little world until Daniel steps up to the table and breaks the tension. “Alright, Sam just texted. They're parking.”

“So what are we saying? Surprise? Happy Birthday? What’s the plan?” Josh asks, turning to Daniel and Jake. 

“What?” you ask, feeling your heart drop again. 

“For Claire? For her birthday?” Josh pauses, looking at Jake and then to you. “Why do you think we’re all here?”

“Oh, yeah, right. Claire’s birthday...” you repeat, your mind completely empty and your eyes welling with tears.

You were wrong, again. 

“Probably just Happy Birthday, right?” Daniel answers, earning a nod from Josh and Jake. 

“Wait, you didn’t know that’s why we’re all here?” Josh asks. 

“No, I– Jake didn’t say, he just said it must be a special occasion or something, I–” you stammer, your mind still swimming with hurt. Again. 

“Oh, yeah, Claire’s birthday is today. Sam wanted us to all get together tonight to celebrate. Figures she always does big parties for him, so it was his turn to finally plan something for her.” he says, his cheeks tinged pink from the alcohol in his system. 

“Yeah, no that makes sense.” you say, blinking back tears and swallowing the lump in your throat. 

“I was wondering why you two are all dressed up.” Danny says, looking at the two of you who are dressed way more formally than he and Josh. 

“...It’s our anniversary.” you answer, turning to Jake who tips his head in agreement. Hadn’t he told them?

Josh furrows his brow, but before he can speak Sam and Claire are walking up to the table, all four of you quickly standing up to shout ‘Happy Birthday’. 

“Oh my gosh! You guys! Sam! Wow! Are you all here for me?!” Claire asks, completely shocked to see all of you together. 

“Sure are! You know we wouldn’t miss a chance to celebrate!” Danny answers, pulling her in for a hug.

After a round of hellos and drinks for the birthday girl you’re all sitting in the booth together talking and laughing. Well, everyone except you. You do your best to stay engaged in the conversation, adding what you can here and there, but as the alcohol enters your bloodstream the feelings are getting harder and harder to push down. Your chest is swirling with hurt, and the worst part is that you did it to yourself. Didn’t you?

You watch Jake as he laughs with his brothers, the four of them shouting and drinking with each other as if nothing in the world could bring them down. A few minutes later Jake slips away from the table with a squeeze to your hand, stepping up to the bar to order another round of drinks. 

“So your anniversary, huh?” Josh asks, turning to you as Sam, Danny and Claire get up to go shoot pool. 

“Yep. Five years today.” you answer, swirling your straw around in the melting ice. 

“Damn, five years? That’s a long ass time, Y/N.” he pauses, a playful smile graces his lips as he tilts his head to you. “And he brought you here?” 

“Well, we went to dinner first but you know he can’t pass up an invitation from you.” You laugh, elbowing his side. “And yeah, it is a long time. I feel like it went by so quick, but when I stop and think about it…I’ve been with you guys for so long. Seen it all, you know? From the very beginning.” 

“Yeah, actually, there are really very few memories in these last few years that you aren’t in.” he laughs, nudging your arm with his elbow. “I like it that way though. You’re like family to us now.”

You huff an annoyed laugh, “Yeah, in every way but the one that counts.”

He cocks his head to the side, “What do you mean?”

Realizing that your thoughts have made it through your lips you shake your head. “Nothing. It’s fine. I’m drunk.”

He nods his head, and you know that he knows what you mean. He’d always been good at that. Reading between the lines. “He loves you, Y/N.”

“I know he does.” you nod, swallowing back your emotions. 

Jake walks back towards the table and you try to regain your composure. He places the drink in front of you and kisses your head, “Gonna go shoot pool with them for a bit, okay?”

You nod quickly and he nods back, turning back and heading towards the pool tables. Josh sips his beer and lets out a sigh, “I think I might go join them, you coming?”

“Nah, I think I’m gonna just sit here and people watch for a while. The tequila is getting to me.” you smile, shooing him away. He nods and squeezes your shoulder, sliding out of the booth and making his way over to the group of rowdy guys. 

You sip your drink as you watch them, all of them smiling and laughing and you want so badly to be over there with them doing the same, but you just can’t seem to shake this feeling. You can’t tell if you’re mad, or disappointed, or maybe even both. You fidget with the silver bracelet on your wrist, watching as the colorful lights overhead reflect off of the shiny braids. Your head is starting to feel light as your mind wanders. You hold your hands up in front of you trying to even picture what a ring might have looked like there, but for some reason you can’t. 

A commotion from the front of the bar grabs your attention and you scoff. What irony. A bachelorette party. You watch as the bride-to-be and her best friends take over the small dance floor, completely wasted as they dance along to whatever 2000’s hit the DJ is playing. You can’t seem to peel your eyes away from the bride, watching as she dances in her little white dress and her glittering ring. It feels like a slap in the face. You couldn’t imagine what you had done to deserve this tonight as you sit alone in this dive bar on your anniversary. Completely and thoroughly un-engaged. 

Your mood goes from bad to worse as you turn back towards the pool tables and see that they are all standing around the bar ordering more drinks. How long was he planning to be here? Did he really want to do this tonight? How long was he going to let you sit at this table alone? Didn’t he want to take you home? 

You watch the way Jake talks to the bartender, his perfect smile on his lips, talking with his hands in the way he does when he’s had a little too much to drink. It’s then, as you watch him that you realize that this is it. This is how your night will play out. He will have one or two more drinks, he’ll pick a fight with Josh or Sam, then he’ll ask you to order the Uber. You’ll guide him into the house and help him undress and he will pass out before you have even taken your makeup off. Just like any other day. And definitely not a night you would remember forever.

You watch them all take shots at the bar, and it’s only then that he realizes you aren’t there. He grabs the full shot glass from the bar top and walks over to the table, a concerned look on his face. He sits down next to you, sliding you the shotglass of what you can assume is whiskey. 

“What’s going on? Why're you all alone over here?”

“That’s a great question, isn’t it Jake?” you snap, your tone venomous. 

“Woah, what’s up? Are you mad at me? I was just shooting pool for a little while.” he counters, turning towards you. 

“No Jake. I don’t care about the pool. Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” you lie, trying not to make a scene. 

Sam, Claire and Danny all make their way back to the table, and you can tell from the volume of their voices that they are pretty far gone. They slide in next to you, still carrying on their conversation as Jake works to grab your focus again. “Hey. Look at me. I can tell you’re upset. Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not, I’m fine. I think I just… I don’t know, I saw tonight going differently. But you needed to relax, you needed this, so you should have fun.”

“Differently? How so?” he asks, his eyes glassy, and his tone growing a little defensive. 

“Well, for one I didn’t realize we’d be celebrating someone’s birthday on our anniversary. I didn’t realize I would have to compete for your attention tonight of all nights.” you quip, hoping Claire wasn’t paying attention. 

Josh slides in next to Jake, sipping from his fresh beer and tossing his arm across the back of the booth. “What are we talking about?” he asks, completely unaware. 

“Nothing.” you answer quickly, shooting daggers at Jake.

He huffs out a sigh and takes a long sip of his drink. “Look, I’m sorry you’re not having a good time, you got a pretty new bracelet, what else can I do?” he asks, the point going completely over his head. 

And before you could stop them the words spilled out of your mouth. The words that would seal the fate of the rest of your night. “And you and I both know that it should have been a ring, don’t we Jake?”

The table goes silent, all eyes suddenly fixed on you. Your heart is pounding in your chest. Damn him for that tequila. He did this. He set you up. 

“What?” he asks, shock painting his features. 

Your mouth is dry and the words suddenly disappear from your brain. You wish you could take it back, but you can’t, and now it’s time to own it. “You heard me.” 

“A ring… What– Why would it be a ring, Y/N?” he asks, almost seemingly disgusted by the word. 

“I don’t know Jake, after five years, why would it be a ring?!” you shout, your emotions bubbling over quicker than you can contain them. The embarrassment is eating you alive, and you can feel the heat creeping up your neck. You have to get out of here, you can’t be here anymore. Not with them staring at you. 

“You thought I was gonna— No… What? You think I want to get married?!” He stammers and you feel like you might puke. 

“I’m sorry, Claire. I have to go. I’m sorry– Happy Birthday– I’m sorry…” you stammer, pushing your way out of the booth, not even caring to look back. 

You storm out of the restaurant, tears spilling from your eyes. You can hardly see through the salty tears as you search the parking lot for a bench, a chair, a rock, something. Anything. You just needed to get out of there. 

Stupid. You feel so stupid. Why did you do that? Why did you say that? You look like such an idiot.

You find a bench at the edge of the parking lot, it smells like cigarettes and weed as you flop down onto the plastic seat. You let the tears fall not only from embarrassment, but even worse, rejection. He had blatantly denied you in front of everyone. The people you consider your closest friends. Your family. And he did it so casually.

You bring your fingers up to swipe away at the tears, trying your best not to smear the eyeliner even worse than it probably already was. You try to take a few deep breaths to calm yourself, ready to pull your phone out of your clutch to call the Uber. You laugh at the irony that you were partly right in that you’d be calling an Uber tonight. 

Through shaky breaths you grab your phone, seeing someone walking towards you from the corner of your eye. You turn to look at them, and see Jake walking towards you looking just as furious as you’d left him. 

“Y/N! Jesus Christ, what’s going on?! What’s wrong with you?! Why did you storm out of there like that?” he seethes, finally stepping up to you. “I know you’re drunk, but fuck…”

“Go back inside. I’m calling an Uber.” you sniffle. 

“Fuck no I’m not going back inside! You’re going to tell me what's going on.” he says, shoving his hands into his pockets angrily. 

“You know what’s going on Jake! What more is there to tell?! You just rejected me in front of everybody! So just go!” you shout, the tears starting to flow again. 

He looks around, seeing a few people watching the two of you from the patio. “Let’s go. Get in the car.”

“No. I’m not going with you. I’ll take an Uber!” you shout, your words slurring together. 

“Y/N! Don’t–” he pauses, groaning as he runs a hand over his face. “Don’t do this right here. Just get in the fucking car.”

You stay firm in your seat, your eyes lasered in on his. 

“Y/N. Now.”

You let out an aggravated huff, standing up and walking over towards his car. He is hot on your heels, ripping the passenger door open and throwing it shut behind you. Your heart is racing and your head is pounding, and as he joins you in the driver's seat you know that what comes next will definitely be the only thing you’ll remember from this night. 

—

JAKE POV

Your blood is rushing through your veins like lightning, your heart pounding against your chest as you throw the car into reverse and pull out of the gravel parking lot. There was no sense in telling the guys that you were leaving. The look on their faces as she left you there told you everything you needed to know about where you stood with them in that moment. Disgust.

You pull out into traffic, a blur of headlights practically blinding you. You shouldn’t be behind the wheel, you know that, but the last ten minutes have sobered you up immensely. 

Of course she was expecting it. Of course she was. They probably all were. 

Your chest is still heaving with guilt, maybe even anger as you look over to her, tears streaking down her face as she stares out the passenger window. Fuck. You slam your hand against the steering wheel causing her to jump. You know this is your fault. You want to scream, you want to punch something, destroy something, but the joke isn’t lost on you that something is destroyed, and she’s sitting right next to you. 

Her shoulders shake as she cries, her fingers twisting together, a nervous habit she took on when she was upset. You could tell she was trying not to cry, but you’d hurt her, and she couldn’t brush it under the rug this time. Guilt washes over you again as you listen to her breathing, choppy and desperate as she chokes back sobs. You did this. You fucking did this. 

You reach for her, placing your hand on top of hers, but she pulls away, as if burned by your touch. You feel a pang of hurt pierce through you at her denial. You deserve that. 

“Y/N, please. Say something.” you beg. Your heart continues to pound as you plead for her to speak. 

She turns to look at you, her eyes swollen and red with tears, her make up smeared across her face. She blinks away the tears in her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. She swallows hard, trying to compose herself enough to speak. “I–I don’t know what you want me to say, Jake.”

“I– I’m sorry! I don’t know why you thought– I mean, I don’t know— Fuck, I just I thought you’d like the bracelet!” you say, struggling to find the right words. 

“I do like it Jake! It’s beautiful! I just…” she stops, turning to look out the window to avoid your eyes.

“You what?” you urge, willing her to answer truthfully. You stop at a redlight and turn your body to look at her, small and shaking in your passenger seat.

“I just really thought it was a ring!” she admits, snapping your heart in two. 

You feel a cold chill run over your body as you pass through the light and turn on to your street. A sick feeling washes over you as you understand exactly why she’s upset. 

“I thought you were going to ask! I thought tonight was it– I just…I wanted you to ask! I felt the box in your pocket at dinner and I just knew it was a ring, but it wasn’t and now–” she cries, the tears falling harder as the truth leaves her lips. You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut, her words hitting you harder with every passing second. 

“Now everyone thinks I’m crazy! They’re probably all laughing at me right now! I’m so embarrassed, and you– you made me feel stupid! In front of everyone! Like I was crazy for ever thinking that you felt that way about me!” she shouts, slapping her hand across her leg.

You pull into the driveway throwing the car in park, and before you can shut off the engine she is stumbling out of the car, making her way to the front door. You jump out to run after her, for what reason you don’t know, it’s not like she can lock you out. But you do, and just as you slip through the front door after her, you hear the bedroom door slam shut. 

You decide to give her a minute to calm down. You need to calm down too. Collect your thoughts, level your head. You toss your keys in the bowl next to hers, depositing your wallet and your crumbled up bar receipt onto the entry table. You lock the front door behind you and shut off the lights, making your way into the kitchen to pour yourself a drink. Sure maybe you’d had enough already, and maybe those drinks are what caused this night to blow up in your face. You’d never know for sure, but now that you’d made your bed you had to lie in it. And the inevitability of what was waiting for you upstairs would have you wishing you had one more drink. 

You pull the Tequila from the shelf, pulling the cork and bringing the glass bottle to your lips. You shoot back a shot and re-cork the bottle, placing it back on the shelf for the next time you need its help. You shut off the kitchen lights and make your way towards the stairs, climbing them slowly as you figure out what you could possibly say to fix this. If there was any fixing this. 

You twist the doorknob, the hinges squeaking slightly as the door swings open. You can hear the bathroom sink running, and the room still smells like her perfume. You gently shut the door behind you, shaking your blazer from your shoulders and tossing it onto the chair against the wall. You walk hesitantly into the room, starting to unbutton your shirt as she steps out of the bathroom. She’s still in her dress, her perfect, beautiful dress, but her hair is tied back now, out of her face and off of her neck. Her eyes are still teary, and her cheeks are red as she turns to look at you. 

“Do you not love me?” she asks, her voice cracking as the question leaves her lips. She’s crumbling, quickly, and you feel your heart drop into your stomach. 

Your chest starts to warm as the question sets in, a flash of anger washing over you. “Yes I love you!” you shout, “Of course I fucking love you, Y/N! How could you even ask me that?!”

“But you don’t want to marry me.” she continues, stepping towards you.

You shake your head as you run your hand over your face. You’re unsure how to answer this one. “You know it’s more complicated than that, Y/N.” 

“No Jake. It’s not. You either love me and want to marry me, or you don’t.” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“You know I love you, goddamnit! I just can’t give you this– this fairytale you’ve created in your head! I will never be able to give you that!” you yell, the pot finally boiling over. 

“But you said that’s what you wanted!” she yells back. 

“I did! Five years ago, I did! You know I did! I just– We were so young when we met, Y/N…My life was so different then. I had these big dreams and I– I never knew they would become reality! I didn’t know the band was going to make it…You know this has been my dream my entire life. I finally have that now. I hold it in the palm of my hand, day in and day out. I have to choose this every single day. If I don’t, it’s gone.” you pause, your face growing red as you shout. 

“Back then, I never imagined that this is what my life would be like, but it’s what I always wanted. And I don’t see it slowing down. Not for a really long time, if ever. But then you came into the picture and I had something else to work for. Something to strive for. I wanted to have that life with you. The house, the kids, all of it. Then shit started to change. I started to get more busy. The band was touring all over the place, you remember, and it’s only gotten crazier since. My priorities had to change to keep up. There was no other option!”

“Nothing would change, Jake!” she cries, her chest heaving.”Nothing would have to change!” 

“Everything would change! Everything!” you scream. “I can’t have this– This life back home that I leave behind for six months out of the year! I can’t have a wife that needs me home…Kids who grow up in my absence and want to know where I am! I can’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you. Or to anyone. I have to give my all to this band. I have to give it everything. I promised myself that I would when I was fifteen years old!” you pause, catching your breath. “You have to understand that it’s not because I don’t love you, Y/N. Its because I love you so fucking much! Because I can’t stand the thought of you having anything other than exactly what you want! You deserve that life, Y/N!”

“Jake–”

“No! Listen to me! You deserve to have a husband that loves you more than anything! A husband that's home every single night with you. Who will help you cook dinner and– and tuck your kids into bed. A husband who will fuck you every single night exactly how you like it and who won’t make you wait months at a time to see him! I can’t give you that! I will never be that! As long as this band plays, it’s not in the cards for me. This is my life. This is what I wanted, and now I have to pay the price that comes with it.” 

“Then I don’t want it, Jake! I don’t need that! I just need you! I love you!” she cries, throwing herself into your arms. Her body is shaking as she cries, and you can feel the pain radiating from her skin as her hands grip into your arms. “No marriage, no kids! I just need you!”

“No, Y/N! No! You’re lying! You do want those things! You’ve told me a thousand times over the past five years! You do want those things. You deserve to have those things. You will have them. You should have the life you always wanted. The life I thought we would have together, Y/N. My life changed, and my priorities had to follow whether I liked it or not. You know that I wanted this with you. You know that. But you also know what this band means to me. To my brothers. I can’t give you what you need… I just…can’t and I don’t think I ever will.”

“You’ll never ask me…” her voice is a whisper. 

“No. I won’t.” you answer truthfully. Your voice is as quiet as hers, and you can feel her heart breaking as if it’s your own. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. This is just how my life has to be right now.”

“So maybe not forever?” she asks, her voice strained.

“Baby, please don't do this.”

“Do what, Jake!” she cries, throwing her hands in the air.

“Corner me into a promise I can't make!” you shout, letting the words spill from your lips.

“Can't or won't...” she asks.

“Y/N...”

She pushes away from you, pacing the room as the tears stream down her face. “So– so that's it then.”

You let out a pained sigh, “No, I don’t want it to be it, but we both know that I can’t give you the life that you want, Y/N. I can't stand the idea of wasting your time.”

“Then what, you'll go find someone else who wants the same–”

“No. There won't be someone else. I can't...I won't do this to someone else.” you answer, knowing it sounds a lot worse than you intend.

She turns to look at you, her eyes completely blurred with tears as she tries to figure out what to say, but no words come out when her lips part. You’ve broken her. She swallows back her tears and turns to head towards the bathroom, a sob leaving her chest as she steps through the doorway. 

You swipe the tears away from your own eyes, feeling the lump in your throat grow large enough that you can’t ignore it anymore. A tear sneaks away from your lashes, falling quickly down your cheek as you take in the reality of the situation. This is it. 

You hear the sink turn on and decide to give her a minute, needing one yourself. You step into the closet and strip out of your clothes, pulling a t-shirt over your head and a pair of sweats over your legs. You flick the switch to turn off the light, tying your hair into a knot at the back of your head as you re-enter the room. 

You find her still in the bathroom as you lean against the doorway, watching her struggle through removing her makeup as she cries. Instinctively you move towards her, grabbing the wet cloth from her hand as she tries to brace herself through tears over the sink. 

She swats her hand in the air haphazardly as if trying to shoo you away, but you know her better than that, and you know that this is one thing you can do for her. 

“Jump up.” you say, patting your hand on the countertop. 

“No. Just go.” she cries, her voice choppy and thick with emotion. 

You grab her chin with your fingers and bring her eyes up to meet yours. “Please? Just let me…” you breathe, blinking away the tears in your eyes as you see just how broken she is. 

She jumps up onto the bathroom counter, her legs dangling over the edge as she sniffles and hiccups. You wet the washcloth in the warm sink water, ringing it out before starting to gently brush it over her cheeks, wiping away what little makeup she had left there. She looked so beautiful tonight, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander back through every memory you had of her looking into your eyes like you were the only person in the world. You knew you’d never see that again. You’d just shattered her world in the blink of an eye. 

You dabbed away the mascara at her eyes, her eyes closing to let you. You steady yourself with a hand on her thigh, her skin warm from crying, feeling her soft skin beneath your fingers. You feel sick. How could you do this to her? How could you give this up?

Her eyes flutter open, red and glossy as she looks at you. Her bottom lip is trembling as you run the wet cloth over them, taking away the pink gloss that was left. You set the washcloth on the counter next to her, cupping her jaw in your hand as your other hand stays firmly planted on her thigh. “You know that I love you, right?”

She nods, a sniffle leaving her chest again. “You love me. Just not enough.”

She pushes your hands away and jumps down from the sink. She disappears out of the bathroom and into the closet, changing out of her dress and into something to sleep in. You make your way to the bed, sitting on the edge as you wait for her to emerge, and when she does a whole new wave of pain washes over you. In your boxers and your t-shirt she stands in the doorway looking at you. You can tell her mind hasn’t stopped. Not even for a second. “Do you think it will ever change?”

Heaviness spreads through your body, “No. I don’t think so and even if it did I think it would still be too late for you to consider having children, and that’s not something I am willing to take away from you. You deserve that, Y/N.”

You stand from the bed, pulling back the blankets and sheets that she no doubt made up this afternoon just for tonight. It feels like a knife has been stabbed through you as you think about how differently this night could have ended. You pull her side of the sheets down as she walks over to the bed, waiting for her to slide in before pulling them up over her shoulders. You knew there was nothing you could say to convince her that your love for her was still there. Still growing and blooming every single day. You loved her, more than you loved anything, but because of that you knew you had to tell her the truth. And the truth was that you couldn’t give her anything more than you already had.

You slid in next to her, and typically she would roll into you, falling asleep in the crook of your arm, but you knew that wouldn’t be the case tonight. She kept her distance, sniffling softly on her pillow as you pulled the sheets up over your chest. You missed her, her smell, the feeling of her hands on your chest. You want to reach for her, to hold her and tell her you love her and that you wish things could be different, but you don’t. You just keep to your side of the bed, letting the ache of your heart take over your body. 

She turns off the lamp on her nightstand, another sniffle leaving her chest. She repositions herself in the bed, turning to her back the same way you are. Her breathing is choppy as she stares up into the darkness of the room. The flashing of headlights lights up the room every few minutes, but the room is silent. You listen to her breathe and she listens to you. Neither of you willing to say another word. You know neither of you will sleep much tonight, despite the alcohol swirling through your system. 

You feel like you might be dozing off as you feel the bed dip and she rolls over to face you. You force your eyes open and turn your head to look at her. “What now, Jake?” she breathes, her voice hoarse from all the yelling earlier. 

“I don’t know, I– I didn’t think about it that far, I just– You needed to know the truth. And now you know.” you whisper. 

You turn on your side to face her, bunching your pillow up beneath your head. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

The two of you just lay there, looking at each other in the darkness of the room. Only the sounds of your mutual sniffling filling the air. Again, you want to reach for her. Just to hold her hand, but you can’t make yourself do it. You’ve hurt her too bad. You don’t deserve to feel the comfort of her touch. 

Then, a thought crosses your mind. Something you hadn’t considered. Something that would inevitably make everything so much worse. Fuck. What do you say? How do you do this? Do you just say it?

“Baby…” you breathe, watching as her eyes flick up to meet yours. 

“I think– I think that maybe it would be better if… If maybe I went on this tour…alone.” you manage, watching as the air is stolen from her lungs. 

“You don’t…want me… t-to come…” she whimpers, the glint of a tear rolling down her cheek catching your eye. 

You let out a sigh, completely conflicted about how you feel. You hate this. This is quite possibly the worst and hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. 

“Baby I want you to come. Of course I want you to come. But, considering everything…I think maybe it would be better for both of us to have some space from each other. Give us both a chance to gain a little clarity on everything and figure out what we want… and what’s best… for both of us.” you offer, knowing damn good and well that this will crush her even more. 

She doesn’t say anything, she just stares at you with teary eyes as she bites her lips together. Her chest is heaving and her eyes are blinking rapidly. She wants to say something, but again, she can’t. Instead she turns her face into her pillow as a sob rips through her, the feathers working to muffle the piercing wail leaving her body. She turns onto her stomach, clutching the pillow in her arms as the bed shakes with the force of her cries. A tear slips from your own eyes as you feel your chest rip open in pain. You know that you can never go through this, ever again. 

Unable to stand it any longer, you place your hand on her back, feeling her warmth through the t-shirt, but also feeling the shaking pain that you’ve caused her. Your words alone have taken her entire life and shaken it around until there was nothing left but dust. There is no one to blame but yourself. She cries hard into her pillow as you rub her back, hoping your touch will grant her a bit of comfort that you know she needs. 

It feels like hours have passed and you know she can’t possibly have any tears left. You hardly have any left yourself. You continue to rub her back until the shaking stops and the crying subsides just enough that you know she will be okay. You don’t let your hand leave her though. You know that both of you need that contact. In this moment you need her, and she needs you. 

As her breathing starts to even out, you know she's finally drifting off to sleep. Tomorrow will come, and it will be ugly, but it will come nonetheless and you will both have to face it. The good parts and the bad parts. 

The sun is just shy of peeking over the horizon as your own eyes start to close, a dip in the bed waking you as you feel her tired body rolling towards you. With zero hesitation you pull her into you, letting her head fall to your chest and her hands grip into your waist, your body welcoming her the same way it always has. The way you both know each other desperately needs. 

You know what you have to do, but you question if you’re strong enough to do it. If you can do it. You know you have to, for her, but as her chest rises and falls as it lies softly on top of yours, you wonder if your world will continue spinning when she's no longer a part of it.

.

.

.

.

.

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[gretavangroupie]

Valor (Chapter 13)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 13.2k

Warnings: Cursin', Smokin', Drinkin'. Angst: Struggle and Poverty, Abandonment, Mental Distress, Confusion, Secrecy, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of Death, Tormenting Thoughts, Mentions of Violence, Reckless Driving, Mentions of Weapons and Guns, Stress, Anxiety, Mentions of Family Issues, Cheating, Domestic Disputes, Mentions of Mental Illness, Mentions of Divorce, Physical Fighting, Blood, Threatening, Abandonment, Pregnancy, Mentions of Death, Bodily Injury, Heavy Angst, Allusions to Shady Activities, Police and Crime Investigation, Conspiracy, Mentions of Murder, Coercion, Drugs and Addiction, Usage of Drugs During Pregnancy, Big Emotions, Mention of Severe Weather, Mentions of Tornados, Crying, Fluff. Smut: Kissing.

Valor Playlist: Apple Music | Spotify

A project in collaboration with my talented co-writer and best friend, @gretavanmoon.

STELLA POV

LATE APRIL, 1975

You cleared away the smoke that had settled in the air from the pot of green beans you’d forgotten about on the stove, whipping your dish towel through the air toward the open window. 

“Dammit to hell!” you cried, wondering how in the world you’d managed to forget about yet another cooking meal. You tossed the charred beans into the trash can, and threw the blackened pot into the sink, defeat filling your entire being yet again. “Get it together, Stell.”

You tossed the dish rag over your shoulder as you collapsed into the singular chair in the kitchen of your apartment, letting your head fall into your hands as you imagined your whole kitchen going up in flames. 

Things weren’t the greatest. 

It’d been three months since you’d had a fix, and two months since you even felt the urge. Josh and Sam had wired you a few hundred dollars to help with the down payment on your new apartment, and for the first time in years, you felt good again. You felt clean. You’d managed to get a waitressing job at the breakfast diner down the street, but money was coming in a little more slowly than you thought it would. 

The apartment wasn’t much, but it beat the hell out of a few of the other places you’d wound up. This place actually had a working bathroom and a lock on the front door. 

Like an alarm clock to pull you from your imagination, the phone rang, loud and shrill. A quick glance at the clock told you it was nearing 8 o’clock at night. 

“Hello??” You answered in a huff. 

“Hey, Stell? It’s—it’s Maureen.”

“Maur…hey honey, it’s been a little bit. How are ya?” You pushed your bangs back off your forehead, the panic of finding your home full of smoke finally settling to the back of your mind. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine, hon. Hey, listen, are you sittin’ down?” She asked, her voice laced with concern. You knew that voice. Something was wrong. 

“Yeah, why? Maureen, what’s wrong?” 

“Honey, I—I got some bad news. I just found out that Ace passed. Couple days ago.”

As you struggled to comprehend what she’d just said, your world seemed to stop. Everything around you fell black. The air, stolen straight from your lungs…and the tight wrench in your gut almost doubled you over. 

“Stella, honey, you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah…I—how’d you find out?” You managed to choke out, the words not even sounding like English. 

“I read it in the newspaper just a bit ago, saw it in the obituaries. Stell honey, they…they ruled it as a suicide.” 

At her words, every bone in your body felt like shattering glass, snapping and breaking into millions of pieces as you fought to hold yourself up, keep yourself from succumbing to the floor and everything beneath it. 

“No…no…” you cried, the phone slipping from your hand and bouncing across the floor. You crumbled in the chair, the tears finally prickling their way into the corners of your eyes. “No!!!” You cried again, inching from the chair and onto the laminate of the floor. After a few minutes of blurry, gutted, carnal cries of disbelief, you pulled yourself together enough to bring the phone back to your ear, Maureen calling for you still on the other end. 

“Stella! Honey, please, please talk to me! I’m right here! Can I come to you? Do you want me to come?”

“No, no…Maur. I—I just need to get myself together.” You choked through cries. 

“I can be on the next flight out, tomorrow…Stell. If you need me.” 

You rubbed the back of your hand under your dripping nose, clambering to your knees and leaning your forehead on the table. “Stay home, Maureen. You don’t need to come here. Hell, I ain’t seen the man in 18 years.” You whispered, finally catching your breath. 

“I know you haven’t, honey, but…you were still married to him, had his babies…he was your everything, once.” Maureen went on. 

“I know. I know he was, but that ended a long time ago, didn’t it? I ruined my own life beyond belief, didn’t I?” You responded, punching your fist to your forehead. 

“Where are the boys, Stella?” She asked, her voice stern, now. 

“They’re…they’re still in North Carolina, Sammy’s with Josh. Josh wouldn’t…wouldn’t let him come stay with me till I was clean six months. They’re finishin’ up school. Josh’s workin’.” You stood to your feet as you talked, your body still feeling like it had been run over as you found the chair once again. “It’s their birthday, Maureen! Did Ace do this on Jacob’s birthday?!” You cried, the realization hitting you. 

“You gotta tell ‘em, Stell, okay? They gotta know soon.” Maureen said quietly. 

“I know, damnit I know.” 

There wasn’t an atom in your body that didn’t regret the decision you made those 18 years ago. High out of your mind, screaming at Ace with him screaming back, two crying babies with hungry bellies and dirty faces needing nothing but you, and you unable to care for them. You snapped. In the worst way possible. And once that decision was made, you never turned back. And the regret ate at you every second of every day. How could you have been such a horrid person?

“I just sent Jacob his 18th birthday letter a few days ago…” you barely whispered into the phone. 

You wondered why he has never written back to you, but you didn’t blame him in the least for not doing so. He probably resented everything about you. Hated you. He had to. Ace too…

The nightmares plagued you of the night you left, hearing their cries while being so sick from your new pregnancy and from the hard addiction you’d found yourself in. You shouldn’t have even been driving. Much of that night was a blur, now. 

“Stell, you gonna be alright, honey?” You heard your best friend’s sweet voice on the other end of the phone, still. 

You gathered yourself, took a deep breath, and plopped back down in the chair. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. Thank you for callin’ me, honey.”

“Stay in tonight, okay? Don’t go out roamin’ the streets, you hear me?” Maureen begged you, knowing all too well the triggers that set off your cravings. 

“I ain’t. I’m gonna. Gonna take a bath. I’ll call the boys in the mornin’.” you admitted, already grabbing your keys to hit the street. 

“Alright, sweetie. I love you, okay?” Maureen promised. 

“I love you, too honey.” You assured her as you hung the telephone on the receiver, knowing for a fact you wouldn’t make it through the night without some help. The hunger that ravished your stomach was going to be fed by something else, tonight. 

But just tonight, just enough to get you through…

Just this once…

—

JAKE POV

JUNE, 1982

As you read the words on the envelope, they almost didn’t seem real. Your mind was spinning as violently as the tornado above your head. Questions of how, why, and what if? You were spiraling as you looked at her handwriting, you’d always wondered what it looked like, and now here it was.

‘To my Jacob 

Love, your Momma.’

All this time? She’d written to you? Why had he never told you?

You could feel everyone's eyes on you, staring you down, waiting to see what was inside that letter, but as you heard the crashing above you, you were snapped back to reality. You quickly pocketed the letter, promising yourself you’d read it later, and letting out a deep breath. 

“Sam, close that fucking thing so nothing else flies out!” You shout, watching him struggle with the latches in the non existent light. The cellar doors rattle as the tornado begins to move past the shop, dirt and debris flying through the cracks of the door and into the cellar, forcing all of you to close your eyes. The wind became louder, the sound deafening all of you as it ripped through the shop overhead.

You force your eyes open to check on Y/N, watching as she continues to hold Bubba’s hand, as they sit on the ground together. After a few miserable and terrifying seconds, the pressure in your ears starts to return to normal, and the sound of the wind has tapered off significantly. 

“Is it over?” Josh asks, his voice a little panicked. 

“It’s passed.” Bubba answers, moving to stand and helping Y/N up. “We’re lucky this time, but I’ll be anxious to see what’s awaitin’ us out there.”

You and Daniel immediately move towards the doors, ready to see how the shop fared, but Bubba stops you. 

“You gotta wait a minute, son. Let the trash and debris settle so you don’t get knocked out by somethin’ falling from the sky.” he says, tipping his head towards you. You both know he's right and decide to wait a few extra minutes. 

You reach out towards Josh, offering him a hand to stand up, and as he takes it you can feel that spark deep inside of you, and with the way his face contorts, you know he feels it too. You push the feeling away, and turn to do the same for Sam.

“Should be good now, fellas.” Bubba says, dusting off his jeans. “Just be careful openin’ up them doors.”

Danny pulls the wooden board from the doors, tossing it to the ground and pushing open the old cellar doors. You both hesitantly climb the steps, and what you find renders you nearly speechless. There is a light mist of rain still falling, the trees are barren, the leaves ripped from every limb. Or what's left of them. Massive trees snapped in two, twisted around as if made of delicate ribbon. A path of fresh dirt has been unearthed where the tornado made its path, not too far from the main road, crossing right through the property, and sparing the shop by only a couple hundred yards. 

Everyone joins you as Daniel shuts the cellar doors, taking in the gruesome sight. As you turn around to face the shop, you’re relieved to find that it fared far better than expected. From where you stand a few missing sheets of metal are gone from the roof and the cars in the lot are suffering from some pretty bad hail damage. Tree limbs, dirt and leaves cover nearly every surface of the building, windows, cars, you name it. 

You know this could have been significantly worse, and part of you wonders if it wasn’t Ace himself that protected you all from what could have been a disaster. “S’not bad.” you say, turning to look at Bubba, who is doing his own survey of the damage. 

“No, looks like some roof damage, and the cars in your lot are gonna need some new windshields, but overall this ain’t too bad for this old buildin’.” he says, looking at you and then to Daniel. “You boys are lucky. I fear others may not have done too well.” 

Before you can reply, a look of panic washes over him. “My god, I have ta go! I have to get down to the diner! Geraldine!” 

“I’m sure she is okay, Bub. She will be fine. You go check on her though, okay? We’ve got this.” Y/N says, rubbing her hand across his shoulders as she walks with him towards his truck. He pulls a few errant tree limbs from around his tires, tossing them into a pile before sliding into his truck. “I’ll be back, boys.”

You give him a nod as he maneuvers around the fallen trees and debris, and you pray to god that Geraldine is in that walk-in freezer. 

Turning back to Josh and Sam, you can see that the both of them are clearly shaken up by everything, and you’re pretty sure that this was their first tornado. Do they even have those in Florida?

“We’re fine now. It’s okay.” you urge, walking towards them. You place your hand on Sam’s shoulder, and you can tell this surprises him. He looks down at your hand and his eyes flick up to yours as you offer him a small smile. “Promise we’re good now. Just gotta clean up, and we’re probably gonna be without power for a little bit.”

“I’m gonna go take a look at the back!” Danny shouts, walking around to the other side of the shop. You know you need to join him, but right now, your heart is telling you to stay right here with them. 

“What if there’s another one or something?” Josh asks, looking around at the damage. 

“Don’t think so. Check out the sky over there. It’s cleared up.” You say, pointing into the distance. He turns to look at you, and in your head you can almost hear him say that he trusts you. You can feel it. 

With a deep breath he claps his hands, rubbing them together quickly. “Okay, so where should we start?”

—

The five of you work quickly trying to gather up the larger limbs and debris, clearing the lot so it was safe to drive again. You watched as Daniel, Josh and Sam moved a piece of twisted sheet metal as you and Y/N gathered up limbs and trash. 

“Jake…” she says, walking over towards you. 

“You okay, baby?” you ask, realizing you hadn’t really talked to her one on one all day. 

“Yeah, I’m– I’m fine. Hey, I need to talk to you about something.” she says, stopping to lean on the side of your truck. 

You feel a bit uneasy as you try to get a read on her expression, “What’s wrong? What is it?”

“Well, while you guys were gone, I was in the shop with Bubba and the phone rang.” she pauses, “Lucienda called.”

“Lucienda?” Sam’s voice startles both of you as he sneaks up behind you. You turn to face him, as Y/N answers. 

“Yes! She called while you were gone.”

“Lucienda? Called you? Here? Personally?” he asks, completely flabbergasted.

“Yes?” Y/N replies, cocking her head to the side.

“Oh my god, what did– what did she say? Holy shit.” Sam questions, motioning for Josh to come over.

“I mean, honestly not a whole lot. She said that Hector and Oz are out of jail on bond, and they are gonna be fine but will have to lay low for a little while. That in the meantime she will be runnin’ things, and that we should wait to hear from her before we do anything. She asked if we got our payment for Miami, and I told her that you delivered it. She really didn’t say much else. Said to keep our heads low, and wait to hear from her.”

“Oh my god, she– she never comes out of hiding like that, Y/N. The fact that she called you personally…She must really trust you.” Sam adds. 

“I mean, I guess? I’m glad that Oz and Hector are out of jail, can’t even begin to imagine how much that cost and how it all went down.” she added, turning as you hear Danny approaching the four of you.

“Jake, come take a look at this.” he says, a little winded and sweaty.

You nod and follow him into the shop hearing the others trailing behind you. It’s dark and wet in the bay, natural light pouring in through the missing roof panels.

“You see that?” he asks, pointing to the backside of the bay. Several sheets of metal are gone, leaving the back half of the garage exposed to the elements. “Shits gone.”

“We need to find a way up there, at least tarp it off or somethin’.” you say, rubbing your fingers over your chin. 

“I checked everything out, shit got soaked but doesn’t look like anything is damaged. A fuckin’ miracle we pulled V in a little closer last night, would have been right fuckin’ there, man... Their camper has some hail damage, but I don’t think it’s bad.” he says, leaning back on the metal frame of the building. 

“Do you have tarps?” Josh asks, turning his gaze up to the ceiling. 

“Might, somewhere. Hell if I know…” Danny answers, “I’ll go look.”

You watch as Josh starts to look around a little more, making his way up the stairs to the office with Sam not too far behind. You and Y/N follow them, stopping short as Josh turns to look at you. 

“Wait, Jake, is this–”

“Yeah, um… Right there.” you answer, pointing to the rafter you’ve come to despise. He and Sam both look at it, walking around the small lofted office, their minds working overtime. 

Suddenly, Sam stops, looking at Josh, then to Y/N, and then finally at you. He bites his lips together, and lets out a deep breath as he shakes his head. “You know, now that I look at it…Really, really look at it…There’s absolutely no way he got up there on his own.”

—

ACE POV

APRIL 22, 1975

“Son of a bitch…” you grit your teeth as your fingers gripped at nothing at the bottom of your bag of Beech Nut tobacco. You’d picked up chewing again, after so many years of the on again, off again relationship with it. Cigarettes were fine, sure, but there was nothing like the flavor of the spicy sweet tobacco filling your mouth, and temporarily taking away all your worries. 

You dashed back into the dark shop, tearing open tool drawers and cabinets, looking for a stray pack of smokes that you just know you accidentally had hidden from yourself. When you came up empty-handed, you knew that the cravings were only going to get worse. And you had a long night of work ahead of you. 

Just as you decided on another vice of a few shots of single-barrel whiskey from the bottle high on the old dusty shelf, Danny and Jake came bounding through the kitchen. 

“Where the hell are you two goin’?” you growled at them, noticing that they were on their way out. 

Danny scoffed as Jake ripped the bottle from your hand. “Daniel’s takin’ me out for my birthday. Gonna go see what kind of hell we can raise. You shouldn’t wait up for us.” he spat, tilting up the bottle to his mouth. Just like him, to challenge you. And it had only gotten worse as he got older. The kid was smart, worked his ass off, but you could tell he was a spitfire from the way he was becoming more and more hard headed with every passing day. And he was teaching Danny his ways as he went. Wasn’t much you could say, though. He was the spitting image of you when you were his age. 

“Yeah, ‘m’gonna take him to celebrate. Ya know, cause that’s not somethin’ we really do much around here.” Daniel quipped back. “Have some fun, do somethin’ other than fuckin’ work all the goddamned time.” 

Oh, so they wanna get an attitude. 

“You watch that tone with me, Daniel. I can knock you clear to Sundy if you don’t clip that tongue right fuckin’ now, you hear me?” you leaned down across the table and threw your pointer finger in Danny’s face. He was still boyish, but you wouldn’t be able to tell his age if you didn’t know him. At only fifteen, he almost towered over you height-wise, and had already begun to bulk up in his shoulders. All he did was raise an eyebrow as he looked down his nose at you. If someone had told you you’d be raising two rowdy terrors of teenage boys on your own, you’d have never believed them. Not in a million years. 

“Now boys, yall’ve been out damn near every single night this week! Why don’t you stay close by where I can keep an eye on ya? Huh?” you began to raise your voice. “Plus we got backed up as all get out today. I need ya’ll’s help finishin’ up.”

Jake slammed the bottle on the table. “It’s the fuckin’ weekend, Ace! Ain’t nobody comin’ to pick up their vehicles on a Sunday!” his voice raised. “And since fuckin’ when do you care where the hell we are?!” 

By now you were seething, ready to knock the teeth out of Jake’s head. The three shots of whiskey were seeping into your system, making your rage burn even more. You quickly rounded the table, pressing your forearm against Jake’s chest, pressing him up against the wall. 

“It’d be best if you BOTH watch your fuckin’ tones, you understand me?!” you yelled into Jake’s face. “This is my house, my business, and you live under my roof, so until you go off and decide that you can fend for your own goddamned selves, you’re to follow my rules!!” you let your elbow press hard into his chest one last time before releasing the pressure, and watching him finally take a breath. 

They both stood, watching you in your half-drunken stupor, still yet completely unafraid of your rampage. They’d grown used to it. You ripped the bottle off the table again, taking a long swig from the head. 

“Did you quit chewin’ again? Or are you really just this pissed off?” Jake asked, his voice laced with the tiniest bit of sincerity. 

You turned in defeat, gripping the empty bag of tobacco from your back pocket and tossing it onto the table. “Can’t afford smokes, can’t afford ‘bacca…” you complained, taking a seat in the old ratted metal chair. You’d been thinking on it awhile, but now seemed like a better time than ever to break your next idea to them both. “Brings me to my next order a’ business, I’ve decided to open up on weekends.”

“What?!” they both complained in unison. “Are you kidding, me, Ace? Why??”

“Because, Jacob, we’re barely makin’ ends meet as it is! Bills is pilin’ up faster than I can even keep track of, and we’re only breakin’ even with repairs and fixins. Even with the help of you two, we still ain’t makin’ it, boys…” your voice trailed off as you brought your hand to your mouth, unable to make eye contact with either of them. “Plus, I ain’t paid Teddy in almost a month.”

“Fuck Teddy!” Jake yelled. “That sorry son of a bitch is gonna drain you dry if you don’t tell him to fuckin’ shove it soon, Ace.”

“You think I don’t know that, son?” you argued.

“What the hell are you even payin’ him for, anyway? Huh? Did he let you borrow that much cash?!” he inquired, still yet not knowing the real reason you owed Teddy so much money. 

“Yeah.” you lied. “Got me out of some tight places over the years.”

“Then tell him we’re sinking! Tell him you can’t do it anymore! We’ll find another way!” Jake tried to reason as you shook your head side to side. 

“There ain’t another way, boy.” you ran your tongue over your teeth, silently cursing Stella for being the sole reason you owed Teddy anything at all. 

What Jake and Daniel didn’t know was that when things had started to get bad, back when the boys were still growing in Stella’s belly, the two of you had hit absolute rock bottom. Your once beautiful relationship that was full of constant admiration and blossoming love took a turn, suddenly morphing into a partnership that was everything but. Resentment, disagreements, lying, and even hatred. Neither of you could stand the sight of each other. You’d go weeks at a time without even a word spoken other than what was necessary to run your business. You’d go to church alone each and every week, sometimes twice a week, begging the heavens above to help you, guide you, support you and your family, but you knew your demons had creeped their way into your lives and intertwined themselves with both of your deepest, darkest selves.

Each week, you’d see her belly grow more and more with the two things that should be bringing the two of you back together in the most endearing and human ways, only to be brought back down to earth when you’d notice she’d started using again. 

You tried. You tried like hell to talk to her. Tell her it wasn’t safe for her or the babies. That you ordered her to quit, you couldn’t afford it, anyway, let alone support her doing it in any way whatsoever. The arguments were always terrifying, ugly, and one-sided. You even offered to find her some help, send her to a facility that could help her stop her cravings and addiction once and for all.

“It’s just an occasional bump, Anicet. God, it’s perfectly fine…” she’d argue. 

“Please, Stella, for the babies… just. Stop…”

“Leave me alone! You don’t love me anymore, why should I listen to you?”

Lo and behold, by the grace of God himself, both those babies were born happy and healthy. She was a good mama, for the most part, right there at the beginning. Kept them fed on what little supplies the folks at the church had donated to you. But those supplies quickly ran out, and the boys started to get bigger, and hungrier…and more and more of her attention was necessary.

By the time the boys were starting to put their little words together, toddling around the shop and getting their teeth, you and Stella had become okay again. Not great, but okay. The romance didn’t return like it once had, but your toleration of one another grew just a bit. Looking back, it was probably out of pure necessity, rather than love returning.

And that was when you learned she was pregnant again.

You’d stopped giving her money long before you realized she’d gotten bad on the drugs again, so when you finally realized she was coming home from her “outings” looking less than like her normal self, the fighting started up again. 

“Don’t tell me you’re on the shit again, Stell! How are you gettin’ it?! Where are you goin’?!” you’d approach her with a baby in each arm, covered in the grease and sweat you didn’t have time to shower off from your workday. 

“Ain’t none of your fuckin’ business…”

“Yes it is my damned business, you’re my wife and these is my kids you’re feedin’... tell me where in the hell you’re goin’! Right now!”

You could still hear their cries from their shared crib, the both of them holding onto one another when they’d hear your voice rise.

“Teddy’s, alright? Shit, Ace. I get it from Teddy. I’ve been gettin’ it from Teddy, all this time…”

You remember the hole that you felt form straight through your chest at her words, feeling the most betrayed you’d ever felt in your entire life thus far. Your sworn enemy, simply for the fact that you were the one who stole his beloved Stella away from him. He’d always hated you, and probably always would. And now, he was the one supplying her with the worst possible cure to exist. 

“Stell… how are you affordin’...”

“Don’t go on ‘bout that, Ace. I told you, it ain’t none of your business…”

“I ain’t gave you any money, Stella… are you… please don’t tell me you’re…”

“The fucks it matter to you, huh? Me and you ain’t been happy in months…years, even…”

“We ain’t been happy, but we been makin’ it! Stella, please, don’t tell me…Teddy, that son of a bitch…”

“Now don’t be blamin’ him, Ace…”

“Don’t blame him… don’t blame him?! Stella, you’re having us another baby…and he thinks this is okay?! I’m goin’ to find him… I’m sick of this shit…hell, is that baby even mine?!”

“Don’t you walk out that door, Ace. Or I swear to god…”

“What, Stell?! You’ll what? What are you gonna do?”

“I’ll leave. I’ll be the one to leave you hangin’ for once.”

“You wouldn’t. You couldn’t make it on your own.”

“Fuckin’ watch me.”

All of that was just a memory now, as you stood and avoided eye contact with Jake and Danny, knowing that you simply couldn’t tell them that you were essentially reimbursing Teddy for all of the fixes that Stella never paid for. 

Jake ran his hands over his face. “You’re sure, Ace? Cause the last thing I wanna do is work my fuckin’ weekends away. Daniel, too. I mean shit, he has football two-a-days startin’ this summ–”

“It’s the only way we can make it work, Jacob. Now I’m sorry I’m takin’ your time boys, but this is what we gotta do. Okay? We ain’t got another choice…” you cracked your neck sideways as you nipped the bottle again. You felt bad. You truly did. But you’d never let them see through your tough exterior. And it was almost the kid’s birthday, for god’s sake. 

But you felt the cold creeping in. And it was the dead of Spring. But this cold wasn’t the temperature. The paranoia had overtaken you. The stress, the anxiety, the constant worry… and Teddy was closing in. Badgering you, harassing you. Wanting your money, wanting your time. It was like you were his puppet…anything he wanted, any time he wanted it, you had better provide. Why did you feel like you had to appease him? Why didn’t you retaliate when you could?

But the answer was clear: These two boys standing in front of you. 

You couldn’t risk what retaliation could end up doing to you, your business, and Jake and Danny. It was all you had. And his threats were becoming more and more intense, more detailed, more real…

Jake sighed hard. “This is fuckin’ bullshit, Ace. I hope you know that.” His voice was calm and level, and you envied his ability to turn his rage on and off. Danny’s presence was the only thing you’d ever seen be able to bring him out of it. Just like Stella’s presence used to do for you…

“I know it’s bullshit, kid. But life ain’t always sunshine and rainbows.” you replied with a hollow voice. 

“Let’s go, Jake. We’re burnin’ moonlight…” Danny said with a hand to Jake’s chest, pulling him toward the door. You’d lost all energy to argue with them any more.

The two of them quietly made their way toward the door, leaving you to sit in the kitchen alone. “Back before 2am, you understand?” you called, defeatedly, before you heard Jake making his way back into the kitchen behind you.

“Here.” he said, throwing half a pack of Lucky Strikes onto the table in front of you. “Looks like you need ‘em more than I do.”

The kitchen door was swinging open as he left again. “Jacob…”

“What?” he said blankly. 

“Happy birthday, son.”

—

The smokes were enough to calm your nerves for the most part, but they weren’t nearly enough to make all the demons go away. You were hard at work out in front of the shop, ticking away at the fuel pump of a Dodge. The moon was full, and it provided you with the extra light you needed that your old flashlight just couldn’t give you.

Like an ominous howl, you heard a set of dual exhausts flying up the hill toward the shop.

Teddy. Come to harass you some more…

As his truck rounded the old wooden fence and pulled into the lot, you took the last few drags of your cigarette before tossing it to the ground. “Here fuckin’ goes…” you mumbled to yourself. You stuffed your hands in your pockets as the truck approached, clicking at the switchblade hidden deep in your right pocket. 

“Well well well, if it ain’t the Ace of Spades workin’ night shift.” Teddy leaned out the driver’s side window of his beat-up diesel. “Why you up so late, buddy boy hmmm? Ain’t it past your bedtime?” you rolled your eyes at Teddy’s incessant need to act like a fourth grader.

“Somebody’s gotta keep the lights on.” you shrugged, trying to seem unbothered. “Why are you on my property, Teddy?” you glanced further into the truck, seeing that he had a passenger plus two more guys in the rusty bed of the truck. All of them, radiating with the scent of corn liquor. 

“Just thought we’d cruise by an’ see if you wanted to go for a lil joyride…” he slurred, pretending to pick at his fingernails. 

“I ain’t gettin’ in that truck with your drunk ass, Fridge. Law’s out heavy on Saturday nights.” you argued, spitting to the ground in front of you. 

Teddy threw his head back and laughed. “You think I care about the law, Ace? Gimmie a fuckin’ break…” the audacity he had in the idea that he was above the law made you sick. But in all reality, it was true. He had each and every police officer in Joslyn and surrounding towns in the palm of his hand. All because he had one hell of a hook up. Crooked motherfuckers.

You shrugged again, clicking your blade. “Still ain’t gettin’ in the truck.” You turned, burying yourself deep under the hood of the truck again to resume your work. 

Teddy’s buddies laughed as he cleared his throat. “Ace. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get in this fucking truck, right now.” Teddy’s voice was deep and commanding as it floated across the air, threatening you with everything it had in it. 

You knew what would happen if you didn’t. You knew he would find another way to make your life a living hell, just like he always did. It was like an unbreakable cycle, and somehow, even in Stella’s absence, you were the one to take the brunt of it all. 

You stood and slammed the hood of the truck closed, pulling the sleeves of your coveralls down to tie at your waist. Reluctantly, you rounded the front of the truck as his passenger stepped out, letting you have the front seat as he jumped into the bed. 

“Ha ha ha, that’s what I thought, little Anicet.” Teddy sang. 

You slammed the door closed behind you as you sat in the front seat, clenching your jaw as you stared out the windshield. 

“Don’t look so excited to be here, man!” Teddy slapped his giant hand across your back. “We just wanted your company while we shot some pool at Canaries…”

Teddy pulled out of the driveway and started back down the hill, his buddies standing in the back passing a jar of moonshine back and forth as they pounded their fists on the roof of the truck above you. 

You silently prayed that Jake hadn’t snuck Daniel into Canaries, or that you didn’t pass them somewhere along the way. As Teddy silently drove down the pothole-covered roads, your mind was racing, right along with your heart. Something didn’t feel right. Something felt heavy. 

“Wait, I thought we were goin’ to Canaries, why you passin’ it?” you asked Teddy, realizing that wasn’t where you were headed at all. 

“Ah, relax. Maybeeeee we’ll take some backroads instead, hm? Sounds like more fun than that crowded ass bar.” he was slurring again, pulling from a flask he had in his shirt pocket. Suddenly your mouth was dry, and you started to feel your instincts kick into overdrive. Where are they taking you?

Though Teddy was highly intoxicated, he managed to navigate the curvy roads with ease. The tree cover became heavier and heavier as he neared the county line, driving further and further into the darkness. 

“Heard it’s your boy's 18th birthday tomorrow, is it?” Teddy yelled over the blasting radio. 

You nodded quickly. “Yep.”

“Shoot, do they grow up fast. Wonder how his brother is doin’? How do you think he’s celebratin’ tonight?” Teddy pushed, knowing that that subject wasn’t one you ever touched on. 

Your silence told Teddy all he needed to know. “Shit, Ace. I can’t believe you ain’t never told that boy he has a twin. And another sibling, at that!” his laugh rang through the cab of the truck again. You could feel your blood boiling, and if it weren’t for the rolled-down windows, you were sure your skin would have been on fire. “Imagine livin’ your whole life not knowin’ about your siblings…tsk.”

He shook his head. “Don’t you worry, Ace. I wonn’ever tell ‘em. Scout’s honor.” It was honestly surprising that Teddy hadn’t ever told Jake in the heat of some of the arguments he’d seen the two of you in. Maybe he was waiting for the right moment… maybe he did have the tiniest bit of respect for Stella, still…

It was taking everything in you not to haul off and do something drastic to the man that ruined your life. But you’d found yourself buried too deep. He had too much on you, too much power over you. Hell, you weren’t innocent in life, either. Teddy could very easily have you thrown in jail for reasons unrelated, and it was risking too much leaving Jake and Danny alone. You’d never do that. Though your life was nearly unlivable, you’d never leave those boys. You loved them too much. 

“So when Jake turns 18 tomorrow, he isn’t gonna need you anymore, is he?” Teddy spoke, almost quietly. 

What?

You turned to look him in the eye as he nipped from his flask again. 

“Yeah, he’ll be a grown man. Able to go out on his own, start his own business, raise his own family, he won’t need you any more, for anything.” Teddy blinked a few times as he watched the road. “Probly run away from you and that shitty place, take Daniel with him… leave you to rot alone.” 

“Shut your fuckin’ mouth, Teddy.” was all you could manage as you tried to tune him out. 

“Hah, your spittin’ image, able to make ‘is own decisions, now. Hell, without you in the picture, maybe I’d be able to get my money a little quicker…” 

What the fuck is he insinuating?

“What the hell are you on about, Teddy? Can you shut the fuck up and take me home?” you urged, getting more and more mad by the second. 

“Yeah, yeah…it’s all makin’ sense now… Jacob won’t need you. That little fuckin’...pest…” Teddy was spitting as he spoke. 

“Leave my son’s name out of your mouth!” you yelled. “He has nothin’ to do with our dealings.”

“Ooohhohoh… but he does, Ace. You seem to forget that Stella was mine first, don’t you? Then you came along and gave her absolutely fuckin’ nothing except those damn kids…”

You shook your head with rage, gripping your fists together. “I swear to god, if you don’t keep my family’s name out of your fucking jaws…”

“Your family?! Stella left you, Ace. She ain’t your family! Hell, you know you’re still payin’ me back for every bit I supplied her with, right? Shit… she came runnin’ to me all the time. Lookin’ for her fix. And someone to climb in bed with and treat her better than you coul–”

You couldn’t take it anymore. Your hand flew up and open-face smacked teddy right across the mouth. He swerved a little, trying to regain his composure on the road as you awaited his retaliation. “Pull this son of a bitch over right now Teddy! I’m not fuckin’ playin’!” you yelled, anger flaming through your body, making you blind to anything and everything around you. 

Instead of pulling over, Teddy laughed. He fucking laughed. He was like a snake that lived in the pits of hell, spitting and slurring his venom all over everything he saw fit. Not caring one bit about who he hurt, and determined to make every word he said sting like the crack of a whip. 

“Damn, Ace. Struck a nerve, did I?” he continued bellowing his loud laugh, not paying a bit of attention to you about to jump out of your skin in his passenger seat. He was taunting you.

“Take. Me. The fuck. Home.” you demanded. 

Teddy hissed through his teeth. “Mmm, not quite yet, Anicet. Not quite yet…”

He was quiet for a second as he realized the song that was playing on the radio. “Oh hells bells, boys! Listen here! Freebird!” He turned the volume up as high as it would go as the song filled the cab, causing his buddies in the bed to pound on the roof again. 

You sat in your infuriated and nearly hysterical state, trying to calm your breathing as you replayed everything Teddy had just said over and over in your head. He ruined your life. He is ruining your life. You’d never leave Jake to fend for himself with this…

“Lorddddd I can’t chaaaange…” Teddy screamed along with the song. “Yeah, Ace, you’ll no longer have a teenager for a son tomorrow. Your time’s sure runnin’ out, ain’t it?”

“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” you seethed. 

“Your time. It’s…runnin’ out.” He flipped his flask back again, giving you a look from the sides of his eyes. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. You had to get out of this goddamned truck. You quickly reached in your pocket, gripping the blade in your right hand and leaning over the bench seat, holding the open blade directly to Teddy’s neck. You pressed it in enough to let him know you were there. “Turn this fuckin’ truck around right now or I swear I’ll slit your throat.” you threatened, confidently saying the words, not caring for the outcome. You were absolutely blind with rage  and finished with him ruining your life. 

Teddy swallowed, obviously taken aback a bit from your display. Instead of slowing the truck down, though, he picked up speed. His hand reached down for the gear shift, sending the truck faster and faster down the straight stretch of road that stopped at a dead end. 

Faster and faster the truck flew down the road, the trees beside you a blur now. You sat back in your spot as the men behind you yelped and hollered. The music seemed to get louder and louder as you picked up speed. “Teddy! Slow down! What the fuck–”

He didn’t stop. He didn’t slow down… 

You were headed right for a cluster of trees, their trunks wide and thick. They got closer…and closer. “Teddy! Stop!” you begged, the feeling of going well over a hundred miles per hour heavy in your stomach and lungs. “Teddy!!!!” you were screaming now, your hands rushing and grabbing onto the roof and handles above you, your body preparing itself for impact to fly straight into the trees. 

He was really going to do it…

Just like you’d always read… what happens before one experiences death, your life flashed before your eyes. Jake, Danny, Bubba, Stella… their faces happy and smiling just as you remembered them… baby Joshua…taking his first steps toward your open arms…the baby you never got to meet kicking your hand while still in Stella’s belly…

I love you… I love you all…

Your heart was pumping, the sound of the guitar heavy in your ears as your breathing picked up. 

Fuck, fuck…this is it…it’s all over…

And at the last possible fleeting second, Teddy stood on the brakes, bringing the truck to a screeching, halting stop, sending the five of you forward as the truck slid sideways to a complete stop. 

After a few seconds of everyone catching their breath, the men above you erupted into yelps of laughter and howls, obviously too intoxicated to have even noticed what just happened. Teddy almost killed all of you.

“Are you fuckin’ insane?!” you yelled at Teddy, clambering for the door handle. But before you could grab it and make your escape, he shifted into reverse, hauling the truck backward and spinning the tires as he took off back down the road the same way you’d come. 

Your breathing finally started to even out as Teddy nonchalantly made his way back down the road at a reasonable speed. You reached into your pocket, pulling out your cigs and zippo, igniting one to life to calm your nerves. 

“You alright over there, ol’ boy?!” Teddy laughed as he slapped his hand hard on your shoulder. 

You inhaled the smoke, letting it sit in your lungs as the feelling in the pit of your stomach slowly dissipated. “No, not fuckin’ really, you insane son of a bitch.” you barked. 

“Long as you didn’t piss your pants in my truck, think we’ll be okay.” Teddy laughed again, like nothing at all had just happened. Like he did that all the time. Like he flirted with death for sport. 

Finally you were pulling back into the shop parking lot, and you couldn’t get out of the truck fast enough. Luckily you’d remembered to pick up your switchblade that you’d dropped in the floor during the chaos. 

“Don’t you fuckin’ forget what I said, Anicet.” Teddy said out the window as you made your way back inside the shop. “Your time…it’s running out…”

—

As you laid in bed that night, surrounded by the sound of your box fan in the window and the spring peepers outside, you couldn’t help but feel like Teddy’s last words to you tonight were more of a threat than anything he’d ever said to you. Of all the times he’d talked his shit, blown smoke up your ass… tonight felt, different. It felt real. Your nerves were burning in your body, and your heart hadn’t stopped beating hard since you stepped foot back into the shop. 

Jake won’t need you anymore… no one will need you anymore…

It was almost as if Teddy was giving you his final warning. The hate that ran through his veins was becoming more and more concentrated, the power and carelessness he had for anyone but himself growing by the second. And he knew it, too. 

You ruined his life, and now he was determined to ruin yours, once and for all. 

You debated on going and looking for Jake and Danny, but you knew it would be of no use. It was nearing 1am now, anyway, and if they knew what was good for them, they would be walking back into the house before the clock could even think about striking 2. 

Was Teddy really going to do it? Would he be that stupid? Half of you said no, he wouldn’t come back and do the unthinkable. The other half, well… you wouldn’t put it past him. Especially after what you experienced tonight. 

The feeling that had come over you in the past couple hours was one that you couldn’t explain. It was like a premonition, a higher power telling you to look out for yourself, that maybe, tomorrow wouldn’t come for you. It was a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that made you fearful to fall asleep. 

So, as the alcohol made its way out of your body and your mind earned itself a bit of clarity, you pulled the sheets off of your bed, throwing them into the laundry room and grabbing a fresh set from the cabinet. You threw on a pair of jeans and grabbed a few clothespins. You walked out back to the line, hanging the clean sheets to reclaim the air they so needed to smell fresh again. Daniel would want somewhere clean to sleep that wasn’t the second mattress on Jake’s bedroom floor. 

You trudged up the stairs to your desk, bringing the remaining Lucky Strikes and your zippo along with you. You pulled the string to illuminate the light above you, and your shaking hands  opened your safe, pulling out the tiny envelope and letter that you had pulled from the mailbox just this morning. Another note to Jake, from Stella. You’d been collecting them since his 5th birthday, when she sent the first one. You didn’t know what to think, what to believe during that period of time. You were still in absolute shock that she had even made contact, so, you opened it. She had told him about Josh, and about Sam. Said she was saving up money to come and visit him, let him meet his brothers. But, of course, in true Stella fashion, she never showed up.

So you kept the letters, hiding them away in a safety deposit box from Jake to save him more heartbreak than the kid was already dealing with on a daily basis. You couldn’t let him find out, you never would. You’d made Bubba promise not to tell him, either. It would only bring him strife. 

This letter, though. The one for his 18th birthday. You’d hide it somewhere else, tucked away in the deepest recesses of your desk. He’d find it one day…

You pulled out some old lined paper you used to write on when making notes on problems with cars. The paper was filthy, and you were glad you’d made a point to wash your hands when you got home, not being able to stand the feeling of having grease-caked palms as you attempted to fall asleep. 

You gripped your trusty felt tip pen, and began going to work. You let your thoughts flow freely across the page as you wrote to him, your Jake. Everything that popped in your head, everything about Joslyn, about your Stella and how you met her…and how your once bright and shiny future had turned into a horrible and terrible place to inhabit. You admitted to him that yes, you had once partaken in the horrible things that essentially sent his Momma away, but the dark cloud had fallen over her, and didn’t let her get back up. 

You apologized. You told him how sorry you were for letting things come to this. If Teddy were to return tonight, you wouldn’t let it be without you telling Jake exactly how you felt. How much you loved him, and Danny too. You made it clear that Valor would be his, and it was now his responsibility to make her run again. The kid would be able to do it. It might take him some time, but he would figure it out. 

A few times, while writing, you wondered if you were being fucking crazy, if you were doing this out of pure fear rather than concrete suspicion. To err on the side of caution, you went with the latter. 

You folded the letter up and stuck it in your back jeans pocket, lighting up another cigarette as you walked blindly around the shop. Your tools, your precious tools. They felt like home in your hands, like they were meant to sit in your grasp, your vessels of fixing whatever vehicular ailment came your way. Over the years, you’d gained confidence that there wasn’t a car you couldn’t fix.

Except Valor.

That damned sexy Chevelle. Once your only means of transportation, once your and Stella’s pride and joy, and coincidentally, where your first offspring were conceived. Your boots clodded against the concrete as you made your way over to her in the darkness of the shop, your hand gently petting across her shiny black paint as you thanked her for all the wonderful years. 

You glanced up to the key wall behind it, noticing the safety deposit box keys hanging high in the corner. Two tiny, shiny keys that held the answer to every question that Jake didn’t even know he had. He would find them one day. One day, everything would make sense. And you hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t hate you for your awful decisions. You gripped the set of tiny keys in your hand, stashing them away inside Valor in a place no one would ever think to look, but would most likely stumble across one day. He would find them… when the time was right.

—

As you finally let yourself drift off to sleep from the pure exhaustion of the night, you were startled awake by the sound of the shop door closing. 

Finally, the boys are home. You heard their footsteps coming through the shop and through the kitchen, much heavier and louder than what they normally sounded like. They must have gotten pretty drunk. 

You sat up in bed, letting your eyes adjust to the darkness, the full moon and the sliver of light under the door, the only things you’re able to see. 

“Jake, you all home, boy?” you yelled. 

No answer. 

You paused a second, listening to them rustle around in the hallway. “Jacob! Daniel!” you yelled again, feeling your heart rate begin to pick up. 

Just as you were about to grab your firearm that sat on your nightstand, an unfamiliar body burst through your bedroom door, knocking something heavy across your head. You fell to the side, seeing stars as you tried to fight through, trying to hold on to consciousness.

“Guess again, Anicet.”

—

HER POV

The sun is setting quickly as the five of you continue to toss debris into the burn pile. With the impending loss of sunlight and no power inside, a fire seemed like the most logical solution to pass the time and dispose of the fallen tree limbs and debris from the storm. Jake and Daniel took on most of the heavy lifting, cutting the fallen trees with a chainsaw and hauling them into the burn pit. 

Josh wasted no time collecting tinder and small scraps to fuel the fire, while Sam tried to set up chairs and lended a helping hand where needed. Everyone had mostly calmed down after the excitement and terror of the tornado, and you had to admit, being inside of a tornado was a lot different than every story you’d ever heard about it, and you hoped you’d never have to experience that again. 

“You think we got enough, Josh?” Jake yells from across the lot.

“Yeah! We’re good over here!” he answers, the sound of their voices so similar your heart clenches.. 

You walk over towards Sam, seeing him crouched down in front of the burn pit. “You wanna help me inside? Could use a hand...” you ask, brushing your dirty hands off on your shorts. 

“Of course.” he smiles, standing up to walk with you. 

“I know we are all starving, might as well see what we’ve got. I think there is an old camp stove in the garage somewhere.” you say, opening the shop door and stepping inside to the dark bay. 

“I think we have some butane in the camper for ours if you need it.” he says, following you as you make your way into the house. 

You begin to rummage through the pantry, handing things to Sam to set on the kitchen table. There isn’t much, but you know there are some hot dogs in the refrigerator, and that they would more than likely fill up on beers anyways. As you hand Sam a bag of chips he grabs your arm, twisting it outward to look at your bicep. 

“That tattoo… Doesn’t— Doesn’t Jake have this exact same one?” he asks, his eyes full of question. 

“Um, yeah, he does, we… It’s kind of our thing…” you stammer, unsure of how to explain the meaning.

He sends you a knowing smirk, “You love him.” 

Your face flushes, and you suddenly feel shy admitting it out loud. “Yeah, I do. Love ‘em a lot.”

“He loves you too. I can tell.” he says, dropping your arm and tossing the bag of chips to the table. 

You clear your throat, and shake your head walking to the refrigerator, knowing you need to grab everything you’ll need in one shot to keep the cold air trapped in there for as long as it takes the power to return. 

“Hot dogs, ketchup, mustard, beer, anything else?” you ask, turning to look at Sam. 

He stares off into space trying to think, “No, I think that’s it. Go fast, and shut it quick.”

You give him a nod and pull the door open, grabbing everything and passing it off behind you before slamming the door shut with a huff.

“So, you’ve heard a lot about us in the last twenty-four hours. Your turn. Tell me about you.” Sam asks, placing the box of beers onto the table. 

“Well, what do you want to know?” you ask, leaning back onto the refrigerator. 

“I don’t know, what is your family like? Do you have any long lost siblings?” he laughs, trying to lighten the mood, but when you don’t laugh his face falls. “Oh shit, do you have long lost siblings?”

You give him a soft smile, “No, not like that. I just– I lost my little sister when I was young. She was sick and there wasn’t really anything they could do.” you admit. 

“Oh, I’m really sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know, I would never have made a joke if I’d known.” Sam says, remorse written all over his face.

“It’s okay, really. I don’t really talk about it much, but in the last few days I’ve talked about it more than I ever have. I actually just told Jake about her. I think that’s part of the reason that he started to come around, you know, to the idea of you and Josh. He was apprehensive. But I think he realized that maybe somewhere deep down he wants to know you just as much as you want to know him.”

“I looked for him for so long.” Sam says, his tone a little defeated. 

“And you found him.” you say, grabbing his hand. “Maybe not the way you hoped, but you did. And now look.”

He smiles and nods, swallowing back the lump in his throat. “What about your parents? Where are they? Are you from here? How did you and Jake meet?”

You smile and let go of his hand, gathering up paper plates and cups. “Well, my parents um, they… They got a divorce after Rainey passed. My dad, he just, he couldn’t cope. It was too much, and I think my mom knew that. It was just my mom and I for a really long time. She’s still back home with her friends and her Bunko night.”

“She raised a strong woman.” he smiles. “What’s her name?”

You smile and look over at him, “Maureen. And yeah, I like to think she did.”

He nods in agreement as you turn back to the kitchen sink, attempting to wash the dirt and grime from your hands. “Huh, that’s a cool name. Must have been popular with our parents' generation. My mom had a friend named Maureen. Never knew another one.” 

“Yeah, must’ve been.” you shrug, making a mental note to ask your mom if she knew anyone named Stella next time you spoke. 

“And to answer your question, yes, technically I’m from here, but we moved away when I was in second grade. My parents wanted a fresh start after everything happened, and things here in town were starting to go downhill from what I understand. We didn’t move too far though, just over the border into Iowa, a town called Salvation.” you pause, chuckling a little, “But I can assure you I found more salvation here in Joslyn than I ever found there.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Well that kind of leads into your next question of how Jake and I met…” you pause, biting your lips together. “I was… running away. Looking for a new adventure. I caught my fiance cheating on me with his secretary. And now that I know what real love feels like, I can assure you that there was never any love in our relationship. At least none that compares to what Jake and I have. I packed up my whole life into my car, heading for Atlanta. Only got an hour or two down the road before my engine started acting up. Pulled off on the first exit, and wound up at the diner. Bubba pointed me in this direction, and I pulled into the lot to see Jake and Danny sitting out front.”

“So, you and Jake just immediately hit it off?” he asks, seemingly invested in the story. 

“No.” you laugh, “Not at all. I’m pretty sure he hated me there for a second.”

“Obviously he came around.” he smiles with a shrug. 

“He did. Took a minute, had to break down his walls a bit.” you pause, “Well, that, and I was sort of messing around with Danny but that is a story for another time.”

“What?!” he laughs. 

“Trust me, I will give you every painful detail one day.” 

“I’m gonna hold you to that. I’m really glad you ended up here. With them. It sounds like you’ve had a pretty rough go of things, but I think you found a few people who are going to love you unconditionally for as long as you’ll let them. Myself and Josh included.” he says, sincerity thick in his voice. 

“Thanks Sam. I’m glad you’re here too. I’m glad Jake gets a second chance at a family.”

“You and Daniel are his family, Y/N. We’re just joining it. If you’ll have us.” he smiles sweetly.

“I can’t think of anything I want more.” you smile.

“So it looks like you found it then?” he asks. 

You cock your head to the side, sending him a questioning look. “Found what?”

He smiles, grabbing the food and drinks into his arms and heading for the shop door. He turns and looks over his shoulder, nodding his head. “Your new adventure. You’re living it, babe.”

—

“Y/N! Will you go in my room and get my guitar?” Danny gave you a sing-song request as you came through the door. He cheesed at you from across the lot, his sparkly white teeth showing up before the rest of his dark-complected self. 

“Yeah! Sure thing…” you hand Sam the supplies that were in your arms and dash back inside, feeling around on the walls as you tried to remember where Danny kept that old thing. After a few minutes of searching, when your hand finally grasps the neck, you get the quick idea to dig Jake’s harmonica out of his bedside drawer, too. He probably won’t play it, but…just in case…

You re-emerge into the darkness outside, catching Jake in the middle of a sentence.

“So you think if we can get up there we can stretch a tarp across until we can get it fixed? You think it’ll hold?” he asks, taking a bite of his hotdog. The fire is roaring in front of you, the rest of the group positioned in a circle around the flames. 

“Yeah, gonna take all of us probably, but I think it will work.” Danny answers, pulling out his cigarette tin as he finishes off his food. “Ah, thanks, Y/N.” he says, taking the guitar from your hand.

“Gonna have to order some sheet metal, god knows how long that's gonna take to come in.” Jake huffs. 

“You don’t think they have it down at the hardware shop?” Josh asks, rubbing his fingers over his lips. 

“Nah, not this one. Bruce doesn’t keep shit in stock.” Danny answers with a quick strum of his strings, seeing if it needs to be tuned. 

Jake pops the tab on a beer, the foam spilling over onto his jeans. “Shit…” he grumbles, pulling a few things from his pockets to avoid them getting wet. 

“The letter.” Josh says, biting his lips together. 

Jake flicks his head up in acknowledgement, Josh nodding a silent understanding. 

“You gonna read it?” Danny asks, turning to look at Jake, his fingers strumming mindlessly. 

“I mean, yeah. It’s been burning a hole in my pocket all day, I just…I’m not sure what it’s gonna say and that scares the hell outta me.” he admits. 

“You should. Read it, that is. I had no idea she ever wrote to you Jake, let alone knew your address. Could have saved us a lot of trouble.” Josh smiles, trying to lighten the mood. 

Jake smirks, and nods his head. “Yeah… A lotta things coulda been different I suppose.”

Jake snaps his head up, and stares at Josh. Their eyes are locked on each other for a few seconds before Jake turns to look at you. 

“What if we didn’t.” He breathes, his tone slightly questioning as if he's trying to convince himself, too. 

He looks back at Josh, who is nodding his head, and tapping his fingers to his chin. “Yeah…”

“What? What are you talking about, Jake? Josh, what is he talking about?” Sam asks. 

“You know, I got that letter back from the State…We’re cleared to open back up.” he pauses, turning to look at Danny. “But what if we just, didn’t?”

“What?” Danny snaps, stopping his playing altogether. “And do what, Jake?”

“Think about it Daniel.” he says, raising a brow to him. 

Your heart is beating a little harder, “Jake, what do you mean? Surely you didn’t jump through all those hoops for nothin’?”

He shrugs dismissively, “What if I did?”

All of you are silent, none of you really having any qualms about it. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Jake quickly changes the topic, the tension in the air quickly dissipating as the boys begin to laugh, but your mind is stuck on the what if. Where would you go? What would you do? 

—

Not too much later, the fire is finally dying down, only smoldering embers glowing bright orange in the pile of ashes. You can tell that the guys are on the verge of being drunk, their bodies sweaty and exhausted from the manual labor of cleaning up the lot. Josh and Sam had been intently watching Danny strum old blues ballads for the past hour, asking him questions and putting in their own requests. Perfect timing, you thought.

“Damn, man. You can play just about anything, can’t you?” Sam said, shaking his head side to side. You always had been impressed with Danny’s ability, and you had to admit, in your slightly drunken state, you found yourself staring at his fingers, too. You pull the harmonica from your pocket, slowly and secretly passing it off to Jake. He responds with a sarcastic look of, Why did you bring that?

Danny smugly shrugs his shoulders. “Ahh, not quite. Didn’t you say you played a little Josh?”

Josh shrugs his shoulders, too. “A little, I was more into piano, though. Learned how to tune it so mom could sing on key.”

“Jake can play the harmonica, can’t you babe?” you blurt, offering him an egotistical smile.

“Yeah! Yeah he can!” Danny agrees. “Sounds good as fuck, too.”

Jake rolls his eyes at all of you. 

“Yeah, and it just so happens you have one in your hand, babe!” you enunciate your words, pushing him to play a little. You’d never heard him, really. What better time?

“Yeah, Jake, let’s hear it…” Sam and Josh urge, truly showing interest. Jake takes a deep breath, rolling the metal instrument around in his hand.

“Here, I’ll help you out.” Danny offers, quickly playing the recognizable chords of Harvest Moon. 

Jake lets out an aggravated scoff, but slowly brings the instrument up to his lips, hesitating a little before playing out the tune perfectly. His eyes close a little as he gets used to it again, his eyebrows raising while the corners of his lips turn up a bit as he realizes he’s just a little bit rusty. 

You feel your heart swell a million times its size, watching him play. This was a side of him you’d never gotten to see before. Danny keeps it going, letting Jake come up with his own sounds as the two of them bounce off of one another’s playing. Jake’s eyes finally meet yours, and you can’t help but curl your fists up underneath your chin, completely admiring him as he makes his music.

Just like he was meant to, Josh leans hard over onto Sam, serenading him with the sweet lyrics that Neil attached to the song. Before long they were hugging each other and swaying, singing and spilling their beers all over each other. 

A warmth swells within you again as you take in the scene. This is how it always should’ve been. The four of them, together…

After a few more songs and another half-case of empty beer cans are thrown into the fire, Sam stands, grabbing the dim lantern, and stretching his arms. “I don’t know about you guys but, I think I’m ready to see what’s in that briefcase.”

“Shit, I forgot about the briefcase.” Danny says, standing and stretching his own limbs. “Jake?”

“Yeah, let’s go find our answers.” he replies, standing up and walking towards you. He reaches his hand out for you to grab, and you lace your fingers with his as he pulls you up from your chair. He pulls you into his side and kisses the side of your head as the two of you begin to walk towards the door. “Love you.” he whispers, kissing your temple again. 

“Love you, regardless of what’s in there, okay?” you say, stepping into the dark garage. 

“I know.” Jake answers, holding the door open for the rest of the guys. He stops you short, pulling you back from the door right as you are stepping through it. He turns your hand over, placing the old harmonica into your palm. “Thanks, for…thinking to bring that out. I haven’t played that thing in forever. Felt kinda good.”

You smile, placing it back into your pocket. “You’re welcome, babe. You’re actually really good, you know? You should play more often. Makes me happy…”

He grins a little as the two of you walk into the dark shop. “I’ll think about it…”

Sam plants the lantern on the kitchen table, turning up the butane to help it burn a little brighter. The five of you sit at the chairs around the table, the nervous energy in the room almost palpable. 

Sam puts in the combination for the locks, and in seconds the briefcase is springing open, filled to the brim with documents and letters. 

Jake reaches inside, grabbing a small stack of black and white photos, messy handwriting on the back sides with dates. A small smile crosses his face as he looks at the photos of Ace and Stella, but one in particular stops him in his tracks, and he flips it around for everyone to see. 

The photo is of two babies, no older than one, sitting in the front seat of what you know to be Valor. The twin babies are smiling at each other as one of them is biting a roadmap. 

“Says, ‘Jacob and Joshua. One year.’” Jake manages, his voice thick with emotion. 

Josh grabs it from his hand, holding it close to his face as he looks at the image. He lets out a sigh and nods his head. “I think we might be identical twins.”

You nod your head in agreement, as Sam pulls a few pieces of paper from the briefcase. 

“Looks like we have the deed to the house?” he says, flipping to the next document. “And the deed for a… Plymouth?” 

Danny laughs and clicks his tongue, “I do believe that Plymouth is long gone.”

Jake smiles and laughs, reaching inside the briefcase again. “My birth certificate.” he says, flipping it around. “Always wondered where that was.”

“And Josh… Here’s yours.” Sam says, handing it over to him. 

“Jake, what time does yours say?” he asks, peering over the top of the old tattered paper. 

“Right there…” you whisper, pointing at the time on Jake’s paper. 

“9:57AM.” he says, looking up at Josh. A smile creeps across Josh’s face and his brows raise. 

“Well, would you look at that… I’m older than you.” he says smugly. 

“What!” Jake says, slamming his hand down onto the table dramatically. 

“9:52AM, read it and weep, brother…” Josh shouts, followed by a full belly laugh. 

“Five minutes. That’s hardly anything!” Jake says, playfully. 

“Respect your elders, Jake.” Danny chimes in, earning him a swift elbow to the ribs. 

“Can it, Daniel.”

You all continue to look at photos and documents, but as you reach the bottom of the briefcase you see another envelope. You grab it, seeing that it’s already been opened, but again it's addressed to Jake from Stella. 

“Jake…” you say, looking at him as you hand him the envelope. “There’s another…”

He takes it from your hand, and looks at the postmark date. “It’s from ‘69…” he says, seemingly confused. 

“Jake…” Sam says, grabbing his attention. Sam hands Jake a stack of envelopes, every single one addressed to him from Stella. “There’s a lot more.”

He takes the stack, flipping through them reading the years aloud. “There’s– there’s so many… Why are they open? Why did he take these from me? Why wouldn’t he give these to me?” he says, starting to panic. 

He swallows as he looks at them, his chest heaving as he tries to keep his composure. “The last one is from January of ‘75.”

He looks over to you, and you can read his face. You know what he’s about to say. “Seventy-five…That’s when…When Ace…”

“I know, baby.” you breathe, leaning into his shoulder. 

“Seventy-five…we were almost eighteen I think.” Josh says, nodding his head. “She was bad off Jake…That was a rough time for her. Guess it kinda makes sense now.”

 “I– I’m tired. I’m gonna go to bed. You guys can, uh… I don’t know. I– I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jake says, pushing up from the table, the stack of letters in his hands. Danny sends you a look and you nod, following after Jake. 

You shut the bedroom door behind you, the talking in the kitchen a dull mumble as you step further into the bedroom. Jake is stripping down to his boxers, the snake tattoo on his back twisting and turning as he rushes to undress. 

You rest a hand softly on his back, and before you can even speak he stops you. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, babe. I just… I need to go to bed.” he pleads. 

You slide your hand down his back as he steps away, throwing back the sheets on the bed. He opens the bedroom window to let air flow into the room, before throwing himself into the bed with a huff. 

“Do you… want me to go, or…”

“No. No, I don't want you to go. I never want you to go, I just want to go to sleep, today has been… a lot. Just– come get in bed, please.”

You nod and start to shed your own clothes, grabbing a t-shirt from his dresser and sliding into the bed next to him. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into his chest, breathing in the scent of your hair and letting out a deep, exhausted sigh. 

“I love you.” he breathes, his fingers gripping deeply into your skin. You can feel the emotion radiating through his fingertips and into your skin. 

“I know Jake. I love you, too. Best man I’ve ever known.” you answer, kissing the set of roses inked over his heart. Suddenly a sweet realization hits you. 

“Jake… The roses. There’s three of them.” you whisper. “You and Josh and Sam…”

“Huh.” he huffs, “Maybe I did always know.”

—

You find yourself unable to sleep that night, the hot humid air causing your skin to feel sticky. Jake isn’t faring too well either, spending most of the night tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable. With no clock to gauge the time, you lie awake watching the room become more and more bright as the sun makes its way closer to the horizon. 

You’re not sure how many hours have passed, it has to be close to sunrise now. You feel Jake roll towards you, his hand splaying out over your stomach. “Are you awake?”

You turn your head to look at him, “Yeah, I can’t sleep.”

“I can’t either.” he breathes, rubbing his thumb over your skin. 

“Jake, I think you should read them.” you admit. 

“I can’t.” he confesses. 

“I know that’s why you can’t sleep. I think you're tormenting yourself.” you whisper, turning to face him. 

“I– How would I even choose? There’s so many, I just don’t know.” he says, feeling conflicted. 

“I’d probably start with the first one, babe..” you say, rubbing your thumb over his eyebrow. 

“Why did Ace take them from me?” he asks, a boyish innocence in his tone. 

“I don’t know, baby. But they were opened. He had to have read them. Maybe…Maybe he thought they would do more harm than good? There’s no way to know until you read them yourself.”

He nods just a little, pushing his face further into your hand to bask in your touch. His eyes pop open to meet yours. He bites his lips, and takes a deep breath in through his nose. 

“Okay. But… will you do it? Can— can you read it to me?” he asks, his eyes searching yours. 

“Like, read it out loud to you? Are you sure you don’t want to read it on your own? Privately?” you ask. 

“I’m done hiding my ghosts from you.” he admits, cradling your face in his hand, mimicking your own. “It’s us now. From here on out.”

“Are you sure, Jake?” you breathe, your heart racing. 

“Yeah. I’m sure.” he says, pulling away from you and rolling out of the bed. He walks over to his dresser, flipping through the letters, and pulls the small blue envelope from earlier from the stack. He rejoins you in bed and hands you the letter, laying closer to you now and resting his head on your chest. You gently pull the letter from the envelope and unfold the papers. You can tell he is holding his breath, and you don’t blame him. Your own heart is beating out of your chest. 

“Breathe, baby. Just tell me to stop if you need me to, okay?” you caution.

He turns his head to kiss your chest, “I will. I’m ready.”

You swallow nervously and take a deep breath, straightening the papers and preparing yourself to read the first words his mother ever wrote to him, and praying they wouldn’t hurt him more than he already was.

—

GERALDINE POV

A FEW DAYS LATER

“BLT’s up, Geraldine!” you heard the cook Mike yell across the window as you delivered the meals to table six. 

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’!” you answered back, making mental note that table ten needed ketchup, and Randy needed a top off on his decaf. 

The electricity had finally been restored four days after the tornado came through, and today was your first day back open at Louie’s. And boy, was the place packed. By some miracle, there had been enough ice in the freezers to keep the majority of the food and meat cold, at least enough that you could sell it within the week.

You’d been running this diner for the past twelve years all by yourself, save for the nights you let the high school kids run the place on the days you wanted off. They didn’t do too bad, really, only giving you a call if they needed advice on the cash register. But on a day like today, you wished you had a few of those high school kids helping you out. 

As you grabbed up the BLT, Mike wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his arm. “Maybe we should have a tornado once’t a year, if it’s gonna bring in business like this.” he joked. 

“No kiddin’!” you agreed. “You need some ice water, honey?”

“Please. No hurry.” 

As you turned around to place the BLT in front of the patron at the bar, you noticed you had a few folks grouped up ready to pay their tabs. 

“Everythin’ alright for y'all?” you asked them, wiping your hands off on the towel hanging from your apron and punching in their totals. 

The day was heading along just fine, everyone being understandably patient as they realized you were taking care of the entire place alone. Your pocket was filled to the brim with tips, and you knew that during the dinner shift, you would probably triple what you made this morning. It was hard work, but it was all worth it. This was your passion. It was nearing suppertime, and you knew Bubba would be in within the next hour to help you clear up some tables and roll some clean silverware. 

There were two gentlemen at the end of the bar who had been there for an hour or two, one of them you recognized as one of Teddy’s men, Joey. The other, a taller, thinner, more unfamiliar man. For all you knew he had lived here all his life, the way Teddy’s men normally like to keep their faces out of the public eye. Joey, on the other hand, never really cared. 

“More coffee, fellas?” you asked them, not waiting for their answer as you went ahead and filled their mugs. Their quiet conversation paused as soon as you interrupted them, and you caught the idea that they wanted their privacy. 

“Thank you, ma’am.” the taller one said as he crossed his arms, nodding his head for you to skedaddle. 

You caught the drift, but got a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you should try and eavesdrop. You were a waitress, of course it was part of your job to listen in on strangers’ conversations. 

You pretended to lean behind the bar for the box of sugar packets, keeping yourself busy as the lunch-goers cleared out. You let yourself seem occupied as your ears focused in on their conversation. Their words were hushed, but you were able to hear them, for the most part. 

“Heard Teddy might have another job comin’ up for us.” the tall one muttered, rolling a toothpick around in his mouth. 

“What?” Joey questioned. “I ain’t heard nothin’, what do you mean?”

“Apparently the “event” from back in ‘75 has resurfaced again. Teddy caught word from his cop buddy that two young guys had visited the obituary archives lookin’ for the death certificate of Anicet Kiszka.”

You felt your mouth go dry and a cold chill run all over your body. No. No way Teddy knows…

“You’re kiddin’ me.” Joey breathed. “Son of a bitch… that could mean…”

The taller man nodded. “Could mean there’s new blood comin’ back in and diggin’ a little deeper for the thing we worked so hard to bury. You realize half those cops that helped us out that day are dead…”

Joey huffed. “Yeah, don’t know if that helps us or hurts us…fuck. I ain’t goin’ to prison…”

You could tell that Joey’s body language had suddenly become antsy.

“Calm down, now. We’ll get it taken care of, Teddy’s got a plan.”

“A plan? What does he want to do?”

You swallowed hard as you prepared yourself to hear the worst. 

The man sat forward on his barstool, leaning his elbows far across the bartop.

“Looks like he wants to fight fire with fire.”

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[moon-and2saturn]

Illicit Affairs

d.r.w x reader

chapter i

Summary: There’s no harm in having a one-night stand with a captivating musician at a jazz club the weekend before the fall semester, right? Usually that would be the case, but this time, it was very different. After finding out what he does for a living, your entire world is turned upside down, sending you head first into a relationship that even you might not be able to handle. Good luck.

Word Count: 7.3k

Warnings: THIS STORY CONTAINS SMUT, MINORS DNI!!! alcohol, swearing, flirting, SMUT: fingering, touching, sexually-implicit language, oral sex (m. & f. receiving), unprotected sex, hairpulling, semi-public sex, praise kink if you squint, hint of dom/sub dynamic

A/N: This story is in collaboration with my wonderful, talented friends @gretavanstink & @childinthegardenn!! Go give them a follow and give @gretavanstink’s fics some love! We’re so excited to share this journey with you all, we can’t wait for you to find out what’s next. Enjoy! Love ya!

Listen to the official playlist on Spotify here!

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

“Is this it here?” you ask, looking over at Rose in your passenger seat as you slow down in front of the apartment building. She looks down at her phone to check the GPS then nods her head.

“Looks like it… I think I see a spot there in the front,” she answers. You quickly pull into the parking spot and then put the car in park. “Here we are!” you say, smiling at Rose before turning the car off, opening your door, and stepping out onto the street.

The neighborhood seemed quiet and calm, for it being so close to downtown Detroit. You feel pleasantly surprised as you take a look around. You walk around to the trunk of your car, pressing down the button and lifting the hatch. Your apartment came mostly furnished, so you and Rose luckily didn’t have to bring much besides your clothes and general necessities.

You’ve known your best friend Rose since the two of you were 11 years old, when your elementary schools merged to become one big middle school. You were placed in the same homeroom and you became fast friends, having a lot in common. You’ve been inseparable ever since, leaving your small town in northern Michigan to move to Detroit for college together. 

Going into your third year at Wayne State University in midtown Detroit, you both found an apartment together off campus. The first day of class is in two days, giving you some time to get settled in at your new place before getting thrown into the busyness of the semester.

Grabbing your suitcases, you and Rose head up into your new apartment. You buzz the front door to the lobby, head inside, and gather your keys from the leasing office before taking the elevator up to the sixth floor. With an ecstatic smile on your face, you finally turn the key to open the front door and walk inside. 

It’s a modest place, not too big or too small. There’s a large window in the living area, giving you a view of the rest of the neighborhood, since you were on the sixth floor. There are two bedrooms, a shared bathroom, and an in-unit washer/dryer, which you’re eternally grateful for. This was the most room you’ve ever had to yourself since you spent your first two years of university living on campus in the dorms. 

The two of you take a short look around the apartment together before going back downstairs to grab the rest of your things, then branch off into your own bedrooms to begin unpacking. The room already had a full-sized bed, a desk, and a tall dresser. There was a lot of closet space as well, which is a rare find in the city. 

You start by first unpacking your trusty record player, which you bring everywhere you go. Gifted to you by your grandfather for your 16th birthday, you’ve had it in your bedroom and have been adding to your collection ever since. You set it up on the top of your dresser, connect the speakers, and then plug it into the outlet below. You then uncover your record crate and pull out your favorite album of the month: The Queen Is Dead by the Smiths. You carefully remove the record from its protective sleeve, place it on the turntable, bring the needle to the edge of the record, and put it down.

As the music begins to play softly through the speakers, you turn around to open up your suitcase and start unpacking your clothes. You spend about half an hour putting your clothes away in the drawers and hanging some items up in the closet. Then, you go to make your bed, breaking out the new sheets and comforter set you just bought. After making the bed, you attach a handful of small adhesive hooks along the top of the wall behind your bed and hang a strand of lights to add some warm lighting to your space. 

Finally, you pick up your box full of books and bring it to the living room. The apartment came with a large wooden bookcase along one of the side walls, across from the couch and next to the cabinet that the TV rests on. You struggle to carry the box, practically slamming it onto the coffee table when you finally reach the living room. 

Admittedly, you brought way too many books with you— that box felt like it weighed at least 50 pounds. But as a philosophy major, reading is pretty much all you do. Despite that, it’s just a hobby that you particularly enjoy. You start by taking out all of your philosophy books and placing them on the middle shelf– Plato’s The Republic, Epictetus’ Discourses, Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, and many more. Then, on the top shelf, some of your favorite reads– your Shakespeare Complete Collection, The Iliad, The Odyssey, The Great Gatsby, Little Women, Jane Eyre. You left the bottom shelf for whatever Rose might want to add, but you know that it will likely end up full of trinkets rather than books.

As you finish straightening up the living room, Rose walks out and sits down on the couch. “Ugh, moving sucks,” she laments, throwing her head back with a groan. You sit down next to her, throwing your arm around her and putting your head down on her shoulder.

“I know, right? At least we’re all finished now, though,” you say. 

“I’m hungry,” she says, “Wanna go get some pizza?” Your lips quickly turn up into a smile.

“Is that even a question you have to ask?” you reply, standing up from the couch and offering her your hand to help her up. You both retreat to your separate rooms to get ready to go out before going to eat.

Detroit in the summer can sometimes be brutal in the daytime, but at night, it can get pretty cold. You decide on a black cropped v-neck top and throw on a flannel just in case you get cold, pairing it with a pair of ripped denim jeans and your Converse. You take the top half of your hair and pull it back, leaving some strands out in the front. You decide to put on a bit of base makeup, but nothing too detailed. 

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

The two of you agree to go to your favorite pizza place downtown to eat dinner, so you grab your car keys and head out the door. It’s only about a ten-minute drive, so you get there rather quickly. The sun is setting now since it’s a bit past 8 p.m., and the view as you drive toward the Detroit River is like no other. You finally arrive at the restaurant and sit down to eat, feeling practically starving at this point. This really was your absolute favorite restaurant in the city. To you, there was nothing quite like Detroit-style pizza. It felt like home to you, and was exactly the comfort meal you needed right now. 

After a delicious and much-needed meal, you and Rose exit the pizza place, turning the corner and walking toward where you parked the car. It’s dark outside now, and as you walk to your car, you’re nearly blinded by the lights of what seems to be a neon sign. It read “Cliff Bell’s” and there was a standing sign on the ground that said “Runway Blues Combo, August 24th, 9-11:30 p.m.” You can hear the distant sound of a saxophone and other instruments from inside, filling you with a warm, fuzzy feeling. You check your watch, which reads 9:25 p.m. 

“Come on, we have to go in!” you exclaim, pulling Rose by the arm to enter the bar. You show the bouncer your IDs then head over to the bar, waiting in the large crowd to order a drink. You look over at the band on the stage at the back of the bar, somewhat recognizing the song they were playing– Basie, you think. The bartender finally turns to you and asks for your order, so you order a vodka cranberry, wait for Rose to get her drink, and then you both go toward the stage to see and hear the band better without the big crowd. 

As you get closer to the stage, your eyes immediately fall on the drummer. At first, it’s the audacity to wear sunglasses inside that draws your attention– rose-tinted lenses with a gold frame. Then, you admire his shoulder-length, dark curls, bouncing along to the rhythm of the song. Finally, you notice the way the muscles in his forearms contract as he plays, his veins tightening as he hits the snare drum during a particular drum fill. He was wearing a white button-down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to sit right above his elbow, showing just enough of his arms to leave you wanting more. He has most of the buttons undone, only leaving a few buttoned at the bottom, accentuating the dark hair on his chest.

For most of the set, his eyes are often closed– he seems to be concentrated on the music, like he’s feeling it flow through him and letting his soul take control. You’d be lying if you said he didn’t intrigue you, he’s ridiculously attractive and seems to be incredibly talented. At one point during the set, though, his eyes open and seem to be drawn right to you. You convince yourself that the eye contact was just a coincidence and that he was just finding a spot in the room to lock his eyes on, but when he suddenly gives a distinct wink in your direction, you know that it wasn’t just a coincidence. He saw you. 

You try your best to fight off the blush that is starting to populate your cheeks, not wanting to show how much it affected you. Luckily, the room is darkly lit and crowded, so you hope that it will go unnoticed. You can’t deny the butterflies in your stomach, and how good it felt to know that his eyes were on you. 

You excuse yourself, leaving Rose up front to save your spot as you go to get yourself another drink. Rose agreed to drive home, not feeling like drinking much tonight, so you decide to allow yourself to have some more to drink. After the bartender hands you your drink, you decide to stay there to finish it, hoping to get another soon after to add to your buzz and hopefully quell the nervous feelings you had inside over this mysterious drummer. 

You’ve only had about half of your next drink when you hear someone on stage say that the band is going to take a brief intermission. Soon after, you’re taking a sip of your drink and suddenly feel a tall presence to your right at the bar. You look over to see that it’s none other than the band’s drummer. When he catches your eye, he smiles at you for a moment before turning back to the bartender. 

“Hey, man. Can I get an old fashioned?” he asks, then looks back over to you. He looks down at your near-empty glass, then back up to meet your eyes as he says, “And another of whatever she’s having.”  He flashes you another smile as he sees the shade of pink start to cover your cheeks, sitting down on the stool next to you. The bartender hands you both your drinks and then walks off to help other customers.

“Saw you there in the front. Did you enjoy the set?” he asks as he removes his sunglasses, places them on the bar, then takes a sip of his drink. 

“Oh, it was great! It’s been a while since I’ve heard live jazz, you guys are phenomenal,” you answer, smiling shyly as you take a sip of your drink, looking up at him next to you. Now that you were up close and personal with him, you couldn’t help but notice how tall he was– at least two heads taller than you were, you thought. And a little older than you had placed him when you saw him on stage. From far away you had guessed maybe his early to mid-twenties, but up close you wagered closer to thirty.

“Glad to hear that. What’s your name, sweetheart?” he asks, leaning his arm on the bar as he turns his body toward you. “Y/N,” you answer, blushing slightly at the nickname. 

“Y/N. Beautiful,” he says, his lips turning upward into a small smile. “Daniel.” He takes your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips, and places a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

“It’s not often that we see gorgeous girls like you in here, Y/N…” he says, leaning down a bit to talk directly into your ear. You assume that it’s due to the volume of the room, but then he takes you by surprise. “It’s even less often that I see a gorgeous girl undress me with her eyes while I’m on stage, like you just did back there.” You gulp quietly, completely taken aback by his direct words. He wasn’t wrong, you were attracted to him and certainly made no effort to hide it. 

“Oh, I-” you start, but end up trailing off before he interrupts. 

“Did you think you got away with it?” Daniel asks, smirking as his right hand reaches over to trail his fingers along your forearm, which is resting on the bar. His lips are practically touching your ear now, sending a shiver down your spine. “I noticed… Been thinkin’ about you ever since.”

“I’ve been thinking about you, too,” you say, in almost a whisper, so much so that it was quite possible that he couldn’t hear it, but he did. You allow your hand to ghost softly along his wrist. Your fingers find the thin gold chain around his wrist as you look up to meet his gaze, his face is so close now that your noses are practically touching. 

“Yeah?” he says. You take a deep breath, looking up at him as you watch him lick his lips. “Tell me what you were thinkin’ about…” You could already feel your arousal start to pool between your legs, the anticipation making it feel like your heart could stop at any moment. You swallow hard as you try to answer him.

“I was thinking about how strong your arms looked,” you answer, trying to feign confidence despite how intimidating his aura felt. “Watching you play the drums and seeing your muscles flexing like that through your shirt… It was really hot.” He smirks, clearly pleased by your answer, and lowers his lips to your ear once again. You can feel his breath on your ear as he continues.

“Was it?” he asks teasingly. You feel his lips finally connect with your skin as he places a soft, lingering kiss on your neck, right below your ear. “Tell me what else.” Your breath hitches as his lips descend slowly down your neck. 

“I thought about what the rest of you might look like under that shirt,” you say, leaning your head back slightly as he sucks right on the sensitive part of your neck.

“All you had to do was ask, baby…” he says, kissing his way back up to your ear.

“What were you thinking about?” you ask, your confidence starting to shine through. He smiles as he whispers into your ear.

“Thought about how good your tits look in that tight shirt,” he says as he wraps his arms around your back, holding you close. “Thought about how I wanted you to only look at me and no one else…” He sucks at the skin below your ear, causing you to let out a quiet whimper only he can hear.

“I’m only looking at you, Daniel,” you say, turning to look at him. His lips turn upward into a wicked smile.

“You wanna go somewhere a bit quieter, baby?” he whispers, softly brushing his nose against yours, moving his lips even closer. Your breath feels like it’s been taken out of your chest, but you don’t have time to waste. You quickly nod and he takes your hand in his, guiding you toward the back hallway that leads backstage. 

Once you round the corner of the hallway and are out of sight from the rest of the bar, Daniel stops you, pushing your back against the wall as his lips race to meet yours. He captures your lips in his as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. His kiss is hurried and rough, something that you weren’t used to but definitely welcomed. The feeling of his body against yours was already making you lightheaded, and the alcohol in your system certainly wasn’t helping matters.

Keeping his lips on yours, he pulls your back off the wall, walking over to the one-stall bathroom only a few feet away. He removes one of his hands from you to quickly open the door, taking you both past it and letting it close behind him. 

He backs you against the sink and your ass hits the hard porcelain, causing you to wince and drop your purse on the floor. He takes his lips off of you for a moment and says, “The lock on this door doesn’t work.” His lips travel along your jawline and then down your neck. He continues, “But I bet you don’t care about that, do you, sweetheart?”

“I-” you begin but are quickly cut off as he pulls your v-neck to the side, his teeth dragging against the skin over your collarbone. A gasp escapes you and you tangle your fingers in his curls, every touch of his lips to your skin sending electricity shooting through you.

“In fact, I’m sure you don’t,” he says against your skin, his breath warm and tinged with whiskey. His fingers slip under the strap of your bra, lifting the elastic up and letting it snap back against your skin. He flicks his gaze up to meet yours, finding you staring at him wide eyed, and he smirks as he tugs your bra down, lips dropping back down to suck an already deepening purple mark just below where your shirt lays.

You’re grateful for the sink behind you, holding up your body, as you feel how weak your knees are. You feel like a fawn who has found herself face to face with a hunter in the woods and every word he utters, every touch he places on you, adds to the growing arousal between your legs. You don’t find yourself speechless often, but now is one of those times.

“What’s the matter, baby?” Daniel asks, noticing how your knees wobbled just slightly, and lifts his head to look at you again, his hips pinning you firmly to the sink. You can feel him, long and hard, against your abdomen, the thought sending tingles through your body.

“Maybe you need a rest,” he smirks, stepping back from you and leaning against the wall next to the door. “On your knees.”

Your hands grip the sides of the sink as you stare at him with wide eyes, hesitating to let go for fear that your legs would give out from under you. Slowly, you lower yourself to the ground in front of him, letting your hands rest in your lap and looking up at him through your eyelashes.

Daniel looks down at you intensely, his gaze feeling like fire, and brings his hand down to your face. He drags his thumb over your cheekbone, down the side of your face, along your jaw, and finally stops at your lips. Placing his thumb on your bottom lip, he gently pulls down, tilting his chin up slightly and looking down his nose at you.

“Open,” he growls, waiting a moment for you to do as he says. You swallow thickly, your mouth suddenly dry, and let your mouth fall open, much to Daniel’s pleasure. “Good girl.”

His thumb moves from your bottom lip to your tongue and you close your lips around it, your tongue swirling around it. He hums, pleased, and pulls his thumb from your mouth with a pop.

“Eager, are we?” Daniel teases, his hands working to undo his belt. He leaves it in his belt loops, the buckle hanging undone, and unbuttons his dress slacks. You watch as he drags his zipper down, now able to see his cock straining against the fabric of his black boxer briefs, and pushes his pants and underwear down enough to free himself. Your eyes widen slightly at the sight of him as your gaze travels from the dark, well-groomed patch of hair above his base, down his length to his tip.

“Fuck,” you whisper, barely audible, as your gaze returns to meet Daniel’s. He strokes himself a few times, smirking down at you. With his free hand, he reaches down and runs his thumb across your lower lip once more.

“You seem to know what to do, sweetheart,” Daniel says as you open for him again, sticking your tongue out flat. He nods approvingly and lowers his cock, dragging his tip along your tongue before he pushes himself into your mouth. A low groan rumbles from his chest as you close your lips around him. “Just like fucking velvet.”

He gathers your hair into a ponytail and allows you to set your own pace as he watches his cock slide past your lips. You take him all the way in, widening the back of your throat so you don’t gag, and pause when your lips reach his base. Flicking your eyes up, you find Daniel staring down at you slack-jawed, his pupils blending into his irises seamlessly. You slowly start to draw your head back, the tip of your tongue following the path of the vein that runs the length of his shaft. Your tongue swirls around his tip, drawing a soft moan from his lips as he closes his eyes and lets his head fall back against the wall.

“Fucking hell,” he groans as you pick up your pace, his grasp on your hair tightening as his hips buck involuntarily. You gag slightly as his tip hits the back of your throat and you flash your gaze up to him, moaning around him to entice him to keep going. Daniel’s eyes flash open and he looks down at you for confirmation, which you give to him in the form of a nod. 

“You’re fucking dangerous,” he says, letting your hair fall from the makeshift ponytail he held and tangling his fingers in it instead. He starts to fuck your mouth, slowly at first to not overwhelm you. Rough, but considerate, you think as his tip knocks the back of your throat. Once he’s sure you’re adjusted he picks up his pace, his hand holding your head in place. He lets another low moan fill the room as you hum around him.

“Daniel?” you hear a man’s voice on the other side of the door ask. “Is that you? Are you good, dude?”

Daniel’s head rolls to glance at the door, still fucking your throat as he speaks up through the door. “I’m fine,” he says, attempting a voice that doesn’t sound like he’s getting his dick sucked in the bathroom.

“You sure? We’re back on stage at 10:30,” the stranger reminds him, attempting to push the door open. Daniel’s free arm darts across the door, blocking it from opening.

“I fucking know, Sam!” he yells, his fingers tightening in your hair as he drives his cock to the back of your throat harshly. You gag around him this time, tears springing to your eyes and threatening to fall down your cheeks. You hear the man scoff on the other side of the door, followed by the sound of his footsteps receding, and you look up at Daniel. He glances at his watch, seeing that it’s 10:20 pm, and then meets your gaze, winks, and says, “Let’s make this quick, sweetheart.”

He pulls your mouth off of him and offers you a hand to stand up, which you graciously take, allowing him to pull you to your feet. Your lips collide in a fervent kiss, tongues tangling and hands gripping at each others’ clothes. Daniel’s hands find the button on your jeans and swiftly pop it open, followed by your zipper. He spins you around quickly and tugs your jeans down over your ass, letting them rest around your thighs as he guides you forward to bend over the sink.

“My god, Y/N,” he murmurs, seeing the soaked state of your plum-colored panties. Daniel loops his fingers in the waistband and tugs them down, the sudden cool air mixed with unbridled anticipation making you shiver. His fingertips grip into your ass for a moment before he draws his hand back and delivers a solid smack to your outer thigh, drawing a whimper from your throat. He drops to his knees behind you and drags a finger through your center, watching as you shiver again. Placing his finger onto his tongue, he cleans your arousal off and hums.

“Sweeter than sin,” he muses, licking a stripe up your inner thigh and smirking to himself as your legs quivered in response. He grips your thighs, hard enough to leave bruises, and pushes them apart, dragging his tongue through your folds slowly. You gasp as he laps at your core, your fingers gripping the porcelain harshly, and you arch your back, pushing back against his face.

“Oh my god,” you moan, your head dropping as he moans into you, the vibration ripping right through you. Daniel pulls his face away and you whine desperately at the loss of contact, gasping a second later as he pushes two fingers into you and curls them. He sets a quick, consistent pace with his fingers, bringing you closer to the edge as you bite your lip to try to stifle your moans. 

“I’m…I’m close,” you manage, his fingers working relentlessly at your sensitive spot.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he says, pressing a kiss to the back of your thigh. “Give it to me.”

He curls his fingers once more and your vision goes white, your moans filling the room as you cum on his fingers. Your legs shake as he works you through it, his motions slowing as your moans turn to ragged panting. He feels for his wallet in his pocket, but realizes he must have left it backstage, and he stands, placing a hand on your lower back.

“I don’t have a condom,” he confesses, watching you for a reaction. You lift your head and look at him through the mirror and shrug your shoulders.

“I’m clean and I have an IUD,” you say, lifting an eyebrow at him. “Are you clean?”

Daniel nods and smirks, stroking himself as his eyes traverse your body. You let your head fall again, arch your back, and say, “What are you waiting for then?”

“Careful what you wish for, darling,” he says, dragging his cock through your wetness and pushing into you until your bodies are flush. You gasp as you feel him brush your cervix and you feel yourself tighten around him. He groans and grips your waist, your pussy squeezing his cock as you adjust to his size. “Fuck, and I thought your mouth felt like heaven.”

He pulls back and snaps his hips forward, driving you into the sink as you push your ass back against him. Obscenities intertwined with the other’s name fall from both of your lips as he fucks you. 

Daniel reaches up with one hand and collects your hair into a ponytail again, wrapping your tresses around his hand and tugging your head back. Your eyes meet in the mirror, a smirk touching his lips as he says, “Want you to watch me fuck you, baby.”

You brace yourself on the sink and cry out quietly, the intense arch in your back allowing him to drive his cock deeper. His hand on your waist lifts and comes down on your ass with a loud crack and you whimper, your sounds spurring him on. You can feel your second orgasm coming on as you watch yourself in the mirror, mouth agape as lewd sounds tumble out of you. 

“Daniel…” you moan, looking up at him through the mirror. He looks like a god, his lips parted and his curls falling into his eyes as he snaps his hips forward again. “I’m…fuck,” you pant out, your muscles squeezing around him as you fall apart around him.

“That’s it, baby,” he praises, his fingers kneading into your ass. “Cum on my cock, just like that.” 

Your muscles squeeze around him one final time as he pulls out almost all the way, groaning as he slams into you and spills his own release. You feel his cock twitch inside of you and his breath on your back as he leans over you, his orgasm wracking his body. He slides out of you after a moment and tucks himself back into his pants before he cleans you up the best he can with some toilet paper.

“Thanks,” you say, suddenly shy as if you hadn’t let a man you just met fuck you in a bathroom, and you tug your underwear and jeans back up. He smiles at your sudden bashfulness and nods, watching you pick your purse up from where it had fallen.

“Anytime, sweetheart,” he says with a wink. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into him, pressing his lips to yours in a much more tender fashion than he had earlier. “Stay for another set?”

Your face flushes as you look up at him, studying his face for a moment, your eyes focusing on the shape of his nose. As your eyes move to study his lips, you realize he’s asking you a question and you’re missing it. You shake away the fog clouding your thoughts and focus.

“Oh, um,” you say as you pull your phone out of your purse and see about 20 texts and 2 missed calls from Rose, probably in a full-on panic now that you’ve been gone and ignoring her texts. “Shit, I’m in trouble. Gotta run, see you around maybe!”

You rush out the door, leaving him by himself, and stand up on your toes to see over the crowd. You spot Rose back by the door and push through the crowd as quickly as you can, putting your arm up and waving her down.

“Oh my god, where the fuck have you been?” she scolds you as you approach her. You grab her wrist and pull her closer so you can talk in her ear.

“We have to go,” you say, pulling her behind you towards the door.

“Wait wait, what?” She asks as she resists you, pulling you to stop. “What the fuck happened?”

“Oh my god,” you say, drawing out the last word, tugging her along. “I’ll tell you while we walk.”

She relents and follows after you, telling the bouncers to have a good night. She catches up to you and links your arms as you walk back towards where the car is parked. Once you were far enough away, you burst into a giddy giggling fit and lean against a light post to catch your breath. Rose moves to the edge of the sidewalk and folds her arms over her chest, watching you with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, spill. What did I miss,” she prods, nudging your foot with hers. Your head falls back against the light post gently and you turn your head to look at her.

“You know the drummer?” You ask, giggling again. Rose nods and tilts her head to the side, waiting for you to continue. “We just fucked in the bathroom.”

You cover your mouth dramatically after you say it and smile under your hands. Her mouth falls open and she grabs your wrist, pulling you off the post to start walking again.

“Oh my god, he was hot, Y/N,” she says, tugging you along. You catch up with her as you’re turning the corner to the car and nod.

“Mhm, I know,” you say, satisfaction dripping from your voice. You climb into the passenger seat and watch Rose walk around to the driver’s side. She climbs in and starts the car up, pulling onto the street and driving back towards your apartment. “Oh my god and he was good,” you add, tossing your head back against the headrest.

Rose shakes her head and laughs, “You’re fucking insane, you know?”

You nod dramatically and close your eyes as Rose rounds the corner to your street, pulling into the apartment lot and throwing the car into park. You climb out and start towards the building, slowing down so Rose can catch up. You walk into the building together and ride the elevator up to your floor.

“I thought the piano guy was hot,” she confesses, turning to look at you as you lean against the elevator wall. This sends you into another laughing fit.

“He almost walked in on us!” You shout, slapping Rose’s arm as you remember Danny blocking the door while you were on your knees.

“No way!” She clings to you and laughs with you. You both stumble out of the elevator and up to your door, waiting as Rose unlocks it and falling inside as the door opens. 

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

On Monday morning you walk out of your first class of the semester, Philosophy of Sex and Gender, and glance down at your watch. With about a half hour until your Art History class, you decide to grab a quick snack at the cafe. You tug your sweatshirt off, the late morning sun starting to warm up the day, and plop yourself into a puffy leather chair near the window to people-watch as you snack on the trail mix you bought. 

As you fiddle with a loose string hanging from one of the rips in your jeans, your mind comes alive as you zone out, bringing you back to Saturday night. The whole day passes through your memory like a timelapse, slowing when you tug Rose into the bar with you. Daniel’s figure behind the drums pops into your head and you feel a blush creep onto your cheeks as you see the two of you at the bar, as if you’re watching the interaction from a different perspective. You feel your heart race as you think about the bruises on your thighs from his grip, almost able to imagine the feeling of his hands on you.

As you snap yourself out of it, not wanting to spend the rest of your day helplessly worked up, you glance at your watch. You flinch at the 10:55 am staring back at you, realizing you only had five minutes to book it across the quad. Grabbing your bag from where it rests against your chair, you race out the door to get to the building on the other side of campus. 

You make it inside, out of breath and about two minutes late, and slip into the lecture hall, spotting the professor standing with his back to you as he writes on the chalkboard. Scanning the room for a decent seat, you take note of the way his dark curls are pulled back into a low ponytail and the way he had rolled the sleeves of his black dress shirt. You feel a pang of uneasiness as you realize how familiar he looks from the back.

You spot a seat on the aisle in the third row, making the decision that it’s yours now, but as you start to step forward he turns around to look at something on his desk and you freeze in your place. Not sure you’re seeing things correctly, you duck into a seat towards the back. He turns back to the chalkboard, underlining a date before setting the chalk down and turning to face the class. Fuck, you think.

“Hey guys, I’m Dr. Wagner,” Daniel says, clapping his hands together to get everyone’s attention. “We’re gonna get started here.”

Hearing his voice confirms it and you pull your phone out of your pocket, opening your chat with Rose and furiously typing. You know she’s in an acting lab so she won’t answer right away, but you need to tell someone.

To: Rose🌹

DUDE

To: Rose🌹

MY FUCKING ART HISTORY PROF IS THE DRUMMER FROM THE BAR

You’re not sure whether you want to get up and leave or just try to avoid his eyes. Suddenly you realize that Daniel is the type of professor who paces when he talks as he starts to walk up the aisle you’re sitting on. Every few steps he stops to glance up at the bullet points he had written on the board, his eyes never landing on any one person as he spoke.

“So September 18th is when your first paper is due,” Daniel says, strolling up the aisle. As he lifts his eyes from the floor to glance back at the board, his gaze passes over you and he does a subtle double take, meeting your eyes. “Um,” he pauses, clearing his throat. “Oh, right. And your first exam is uh…is the week after.”

Your cheeks flush when you see it in his eyes that he recognizes you and you break the shared moment, dropping your eyes back to your phone screen to type out another text.

To: Rose🌹

He just fucking saw me. What do I DO???

You shove your phone back into your pocket as Daniel continues rattling off dates of exams and papers, answering questions as they pop up from the class. You keep your eyes trained on the floor, almost afraid to look up and find him staring at you again. 

“Okay, and last but not least, your final is on December 5th,” he says, wrapping up the hour-long lecture ten minutes early. “Anyways, welcome back guys. Go on, get outta here.”

Daniel waves his hand dismissively and picks up the eraser from the tray on the chalkboard, starting to clean the markings off of it. You practically leap out of your seat to make a beeline for the door, fearing you’d fall into a million pieces if you stayed a second longer.

“Oh, and uh,” he says as he turns to look at the class list to find your name, even though he already knows who you are, halting you just before you step into the hallway. “Y/N, can you hang back for a sec?”

Your mouth goes dry as you turn around, staring at him from the doorway. Daniel stares back at you, not turning away until you take a step back into the room.  As you slowly make your way toward the front of the room, he turns back to the board, lifting a spray bottle from the floor and spraying water on a rag. You reach the front row of the class and lean your hip against the side of the aisle seat, watching his muscles shift beneath the black fabric as he wipes the board down.

“Didn’t think ‘see you around maybe’ meant like this,” he says as he drapes the rag over the bottle on the floor and turns to the desk, refusing to meet your eyes. You trade leaning against the seat for sitting down in it, fearful that your legs might give out from under you, and stare up at him, your eyes wide and your lips parted as you search your brain for something to say.

“I’m not su-” you trail off as he flashes you a stern look.

“You’re not sure what I mean?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you and leaning on the corner of the desk before continuing, “I think you are, sweetheart.” You look over both shoulders, checking for any lingering students.

“It’s not like I knew, professor,” you challenge, your voice hushed despite being the only two people in the room, and cross your legs. Your hands rest in your lap and you turn your nervous energy to the loose string on your jeans again.

“Don’t do that,” Daniel says, his gaze boring straight through you.

A smirk finds its way to your lips and your hands fall still in your lap as you cock your head to the side, feigning innocence, “Don’t do what?”

He pushes himself off the desk and steps down off the small stage, stopping in front of you and bracing himself on the wooden armrests as he leans down over you. Your head spins as you look up at him, his cologne invading your senses and making it difficult to think.

“That innocent ‘professor’ bit,” He whispers as he leans in closer, his lips grazing the shell of your ear and sending a chill down your spine. You shiver as his lips connect with your neck, his bangs brushing your shoulder lightly. Just as soon as the contact is made it’s gone as he lifts his head to look at you, studying the shade of pink that creeps up your neck. You swallow hard and your lips part as if to say something, but Daniel strokes a thumb along your jaw, scrambling your thoughts. He clicks his tongue and blows a laugh through his nose, “What, suddenly speechless?”

He pushes himself up and smooths his hands over his slacks before stepping back up onto the stage and taking a seat behind the desk. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and shake your head.

“No,” you say simply. “Is sir better?”

A smirk forms on his lips and he nods his head, satisfied with your answer. He pushes a pile of papers together and taps them on the desk to align them before sliding them into a pocket of his leather bag. 

You remain in your seat, watching as he organizes some things in his bag, and you feel your phone vibrate three times in your pocket, the buzz pattern you’d given Rose. Tugging it free, you glance at the screen and, sure enough, see a text from your best friend waiting for you.

From: Rose🌹

You’re fucking joking.

Daniel clears his throat and looks at you expectantly, silently demanding your attention back. You tuck your phone back into your pocket and return your eyes to him.

“You know you could have mentioned this,” you say, having had a moment to collect your thoughts. He scoffs and shoots you an incredulous look, folding his hands on his desk.

“Sorry, it didn’t really cross my mind to talk about my day job while I was fucking you,” he spits out, standing and collecting his things. 

“I need to go meet with a colleague briefly,” he explains, leaning against the side of the desk. “I think we should talk about this privately. Go wait outside of my office.”

You sit up straight and take a breath, parting your lips to protest, but he holds up a hand to stop you. Shrinking back into your seat, you watch him step down and stop when he stands next to you. With a finger under your chin, he pulls up gently, forcing you to look up at him.

“Be a good girl,” he says, his voice low and commanding. “Room 321.”

Daniel lets go of your face, turns up the aisle, and walks into the building’s lobby, leaving you alone in the room as you’d left him at the bar. You sit silently for a few minutes, debating your next move, and finally decide to go, feeling certain he wouldn’t be letting this go. You gather your belongings and make your way toward the hall, unsure of what awaits you when he gets back.

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

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[moon-and2saturn]

Antithesis

j.t.k x reader & j.m.k. x reader

part II

word count: 7.5k

warnings: THIS STORY CONTAINS SMUT, MINORS DNI!! fluff, swearing, drinking, a little bit of name calling, cheating *kind of* SMUT: flirting, kissing, sexually implicit language, touching, dirty talk, slight voyeurism, fingering (f. receiving), oral sex (f. receiving & m. receiving), unprotected sex, biting, degradation kink if you squint, cum play (just a little bit, ok?)

a/n: aaaand i’m back! sorry that i’ve been gone so long… getting ready to graduate college is no joke! but i worked really hard on this one, so i hope you all enjoy :)

listen to the official playlist on Spotify here

read part one here

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It’s been a little over a week since your encounter with Jake, and it has yet to desert the back of your mind. It plagues you, like some sort of nightmare that you can’t seem to wake up from. Luckily for you, you haven’t had to see him too much since his party, since you and Josh had spent the Christmas holiday apart. The two of you were still a relatively new couple, if you could even call it that, and weren’t remotely serious enough to meet each other’s parents, at least in your opinion. He didn’t seem to mind too much, however, and he and his brothers went back to Michigan for the holiday. 

Despite the much-needed distance, your dilemma with Jake was still all you could think about. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could feel was Jake’s cold, calloused hands on your skin, giving you a feeling of euphoria that you had yet to experience before. And even if you wanted to forget about it (which you didn’t), it seems as though he won’t let you. Much to your surprise, you received a call from an unknown number late Christmas Eve after you’ve already tucked yourself into bed in your childhood bedroom at your parents’ house.

“Merry Christmas, sunshine.”

You swallow deeply. “Jake…?” You can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he replies, “The one and only.” His voice is deep and husky, slurring his words together slightly. You can tell that he’s had plenty to drink.

You roll your eyes and ask, “How did you get my number?” 

“I have my ways… A gentleman never reveals his secrets.” He utters, with confidence dripping off his words like honey. You scoff at him but say nothing. He speaks again, a bit more hushed than before.

“You been thinkin’ about me, baby? I know I’ve been thinkin’ about you.” The hoarseness of his voice on the other line is enough to make your knees buckle, but you’d never let him know that. 

“Definitely not,” you say, lying through your teeth. “You’re the last thing that would ever be on my mind, actually.” You hear him chuckle to himself.

“Yeah? Thinkin’ about my brother, then?” he jests, seeing right through you.

“And what if I am?” you reply, refusing to back down.

“He can’t handle you, sunshine. He doesn’t have it in him,” he says, and you can practically hear the annoyance in his voice.

“And you think you can? Is that it?” you scoff, starting to grow tired of his games.

“Why don’t you tell me? I seemed to handle you quite well the last time we saw each other, isn’t that right, sweetheart?” he says, his voice in almost a low whisper now. You’d be lying if you said that it didn’t affect you. You were under his spell, and he knew it.

“Goodnight, Jake,” you reply, a smile apparent in your voice, then hang up the phone. You stare at his phone number for a moment before creating a new contact, naming it “Bane Of My Existence,” then close your phone, set it on your bedside table, and go to sleep.

That was a week ago, and you’ve been able to avoid your dilemma since then. But now, with New Year's Eve tonight, they’ve all returned for a “night of revelry,” as Josh called it. As excited as you are to spend New Year’s Eve with Josh, you’re fearful of what’s to come if you find yourself alone with Jake again. You hope that it won’t get to that point, and you’re going to do your best to avoid it at all costs.

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Luckily, Josh was hosting the party this time, which made you feel slightly less nervous. He got home from his trip yesterday morning, so he took the two of you out on a date last night and you stayed over to help him prepare for the party. Even though you didn’t need to be there that early to set up, you enjoyed the excuse to spend some extra time alone with him. You hope that the more time you spend with Josh, the easier it will be to forget about your previous intoxicated lapse of judgment with his twin.

You wake up, rolling over in bed to face him, He’s still asleep, laying on his back with his hands on his chest, snoring ever-so-slightly. You know that the snoring is thanks to his very deviated septum, which he refuses to get surgery for. Josh told you that Jake had gotten his fixed last year and it got rid of his snoring completely. He won’t get it done, though- he’s convinced that it would “ruin his angelic singing voice.” You rolled your eyes at him that day, but it was something that you admired about him: his dedication to his art. 

Despite the band being Jake’s idea at the start, singing has slowly become Josh’s entire life, that much has been obvious to you. He puts his entire heart and soul into it, sometimes at the expense of his health and well-being. He tends to push himself too far, but in the past year, it’s clear that he’s learning from his mistakes. This new tour meant new beginnings and better habits for him, and you couldn’t be prouder.

You reach your hand over to him gently, pushing some of his curls back and out of his face. Josh’s eyes begin to flutter open and land on you as a smile creeps across his face.

“I could get used to this,” he mutters with a smirk, his voice sounding groggy after just waking up.

“Don’t get too comfortable now,” you joke, running your fingers through his hair as you gaze at him with a smile. 

“If you’re not careful, I just might,” he says, his smile widening as he begins to sit up. Your cheeks turn pink at his words and you try to look down to avoid any teasing. 

“So…” you say with a smile, “You wanna go get some coffee?”

“You read my mind, darling,” he says, leaning over and planting a soft kiss on your lips and grins. “I knew I kept you around for a reason.”

You roll your eyes and turn around to get out of bed, heading toward the bathroom to get ready for the day. But first, you turn around and quip back, “Because I always like to go get coffee? No other reasons?”

“Oh, I could list plenty of other reasons, lover…” he answers, walking toward you and wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. “Want me to show you?”

You swear your heart stopped right then and there. His eyes had darkened as he looked down at you with a smirk, and you could already feel his morning wood against your abdomen. No, no- you had to stay focused (for now). Your cheeks flush and you clear your throat, trying not to appear too flustered. “Coffee first,” you say, smiling softly as you meet his eyes before grabbing your overnight back from the floor and heading into the bathroom.

You quickly shut the door behind you and rest your back against it, taking in a deep breath. You were way in over your head with the Kiszkas, and you knew it. You take a look in the mirror, seeing how disheveled you looked from your night’s sleep. You’re not sure how Josh could still be attracted to you, even when you looked like such a mess, but you know the answer to that question was one that you’re not quite ready for yet.

You quickly brush your teeth and braid your hair loosely down your back, leaving out a few strands around your face. You take off Josh’s old Greta Van Fleet t-shirt that he gave you to sleep in last night and throw on your oversized college sweatshirt and a pair of light-colored jeans. When you go to open the bathroom door, Josh is sitting on the bed, waiting for you. He had put on his favorite Sherpa jacket and some khaki pants. He must have gone to get ready in the spare bathroom downstairs since his hair looked neat and his face was freshly washed. He turns his head as he hears the door open, smiling as he catches sight of you.

“There she is,” he says, standing up and walking over to you. You smile at him, holding his shirt in your hands.

“I should probably give this back…” you mutter, holding it out for him to take. Instead, he shakes his head and gently pushes your hand downward.

“Nuh-uh. That’s yours now,” he says with a proud smile. “It doesn’t fit me anymore. Besides, you look much better in it anyway.” You blush, meeting his gaze. “Okay.”

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Josh heads down the stairs and you follow closely after him, sliding on your sneakers before heading out the door toward his car. He unlocks the car with his keys and opens the door for you before rounding the car and getting into the driver’s seat. He turns the car on and the radio starts blaring, causing Josh to quickly hit the Bluetooth button on the screen.

“You wanna put something on?” he asks. You’ve been in his car plenty of times by now, but you’d never really had the opportunity to control the music before, as he usually would have something on before you got in the car. The corners of your lips turn into a small smile as you nod, connecting your phone to his car’s Bluetooth.

You decide to put on your 60s and 70s playlist, knowing that he’d probably enjoy anything that might come on from there. As the opening notes of a familiar song start to play as he pulls out of the driveway, you can already tell that your intuition was right.

You’re just too good to be true

Can’t take my eyes off of you

You’d be like Heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much 

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I’m alive

You’re just too good to be true

Can’t take my eyes off of you

A smirk appears on his lips as he looks over at you, clearly happy with your song choice. He nods his head along with a smile as he drives to your favorite coffee shop in downtown Nashville. As the next verse starts, though, he begins to sing along.

Pardon the way that I stare

There’s nothing to compare

The sight of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak

He turns his head to meet your gaze, winking at you before turning back to the road.

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it’s real

You’re just too good to be true

Can’t take my eyes off of you

You giggle at his attempt at a serenade as the chorus gears up, deciding to join in with him. He places his right hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as he smiles brightly, sneaking glances every chance he gets.

I love you, baby

And if it’s quite alright

I need you, baby

To warm a lonely night

I love you, baby

Trust me when I say

You can’t help but look at him with the biggest smile on your face. You knew then and there that if anyone knew you the best, it would be Josh. Despite whatever your romantic relationship was, this man is your best friend. He gets you more than anyone else does. You place your hand on his, which is still planted on your thigh. 

Oh, pretty baby

Don’t bring me down, I pray

Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay

And let me love you, baby

Let me love you

You finally arrive at the coffee shop and pull into a parking space at the front. Josh puts the car in park and turns to notice that you’re already looking at him, smiling from ear to ear.

“What?” he asks, smiling at you.

“Nothing- just you,” you answer.

“You growing soft on me, darlin’?” he jokes, reaching over to brush some of your stray hairs behind your ear.

“Yeah, maybe I am,” you say, leaning into his hand as he strokes your cheek with his thumb. He smiles wide and brings your face to his, kissing you. You smile against his lips as he pulls you closer to him, brushing your tongue against his bottom lip as if to ask permission for its entry. He opens his mouth slightly, allowing your tongue to slip past his lips and meet his own, causing him to let out a low groan. Before you get the chance to pull him closer to you, he ends the kiss, keeping his face mere inches away from yours.

“If we keep going like that, then we’re not gonna make it inside that coffee shop, baby,” he whispers, stroking your cheek before turning to open his door, then going around the front of the car and opening yours. You try to get rid of the flush of your cheeks as you exit the car and enter the cafe, taking Josh’s hand in yours.

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You both got your coffee and then went to run some errands to get ready for this party. You stopped at the party store for some decorations, the grocery store for snacks and ingredients for appetizers, and the liquor store to get a few bottles of champagne and stock up on tequila. Before you know it, it’s nearly 5 p.m. and it’s time to start getting ready. Josh knew that it would take you a while, so he opted to shower first and then went downstairs to start cooking the famous dish that he makes for every party- jalapeño poppers with a secret dipping sauce that he won’t share with anyone, not even with you. Cooking skills are well beyond your expertise, so you just let him enjoy it on his own.

You finish up in the shower and wrap one of Josh’s soft, white towels around your body, tucking it in on the top corner. You tap your watch to check the time, which you left sitting on the counter, which reads 6:12 p.m. The guests are supposed to be arriving around 8, so you luckily have enough time for now, but Josh did warn you that his brothers will likely arrive early. You go to plug in your hair dryer, then begin drying your hair. Your mom had just gifted you one of those fancy hair dryers for Christmas that curls your hair as you dry it, and you finally have an excuse to test it out. 

After a while of drying, thanks to the thickness and length of your hair, you finally achieve the style you were hoping for, a blowout with a beautiful curl to it. You spray in a bit of hairspray, then start on your makeup. You lay on your base makeup and then add in some light silver eyeshadow, just enough to make your eyes sparkle. You apply eyeliner, just enough to line your eyes tightly, then put on a layer of mascara. You put on dark red lipstick then pick up your watch from the counter: 6:58 p.m. Still plenty of time to spare. You head out of the bathroom to get dressed. 

You walk to Josh’s closet to take your dress off its hanger. It was a tight silver sequined dress, hitting around the middle of your thighs. It has thin straps and a square neckline, which didn’t show too much cleavage but definitely didn’t leave that much to the imagination. You put it on, then slip on your black heels and go downstairs to find Josh.

You turn the corner at the bottom of the stairs and walk toward the kitchen. You see Josh in front of the oven, putting his jalapeño popper in to bake. He’s wearing a white sweater with a pair of gray dress pants and black loafers. As he hears the cadence of your heels, he turns around and leans his side against the counter, not taking his eyes off of you for a second as he watches you approach him. A smile spreads across his face as you get closer, then he reaches his arms out and places his hands on your waist, pulling you into him. 

“Oh, you look delicious, baby…” he says, capturing your lips in his. It’s quick and almost impatient- you can tell that you picked the right dress. With his hands still on your waist, he flips you both around so that your lower back rests against the kitchen counter. His hands slide down to grip your ass and he lets out a low groan as he pulls you closer to him. 

“I should cancel this party right now, keep you all to myself,” he mumbles as his lips start to pepper kisses along our jawline and down your neck. “It’s not too late, you know, I’ll call everyone right now…” You lean your head back as he continues his assault on your neck, a small whimper leaving your mouth as you feel him suck one of the sensitive spots on your skin. But unfortunately for you, amidst your heated interaction with Josh, neither of you heard the front door swing open.

“It seems like I might be interrupting something,” you hear a deep voice say from behind Josh. You sigh as Josh frantically lets go of you and turns around to see none other than his twin brother staring back at him with a smirk spread across his face.

You feel your breath catch in your chest as you see Jake standing at the kitchen's threshold. His eyes are hidden underneath his usual dark sunglasses, but you know they’re locked on you- you can feel it. You take a moment to watch him as Josh walks over to greet him. He’s wearing a pair of black dress pants paired with his usual black Chelsea boots. On top, he’s opted for a dark red button-up, with a few buttons undone at the top as always, and the sleeves are rolled up just below his elbows. 

You hear Sam and Danny walk in through the front door, and Josh goes to greet them in the foyer. It sounds like they ask him to help carry in snacks and drinks from the car. They all exit the house, leaving just you and Jake in the kitchen. You watch as he takes his sunglasses off and slips them into the small pocket in his shirt, his eyes still locked with yours. Suddenly, as he goes to approach you, they seem to wander downward, taking in every inch of you before he’s only less than a foot away and meets your gaze once again.

“At this point, I have no choice but to think that you must be doing this on purpose,” he says, leaning his arm onto the counter next to you, allowing his left hand to ghost slightly over your arm. 

Your eyes go from where his hand nearly connects with your skin, then up to meet his eyes. “Doing what?” you ask, feigning innocence.

“You know exactly what… You wear that little number just for me, sweetheart?” he says, his voice sounding graveling and hoarse. You swallow harshly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you reply, your eyes falling to his lips before quickly snapping yourself out of it.

“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you? Knowing exactly how to get my attention…” he whispers, leaning in slightly so that his mouth is mere centimeters away from your ear. “Do you like that, baby? Knowing that I’m looking at you, and only you?”

You feel your cheeks start to heat up at his words. You take a deep breath and mutter out a quiet “Yes.” He smiles a crooked smile, and you can still feel his breath on the shell of your ear.

“That’s what I thought. Craving attention, like the filthy whore you are.” He chuckles under his breath when he hears the quiet whimper that comes out of you at his degrading words, and then brushes your hair back slightly to place a soft kiss behind your ear. “You don’t have to try so hard to get my attention, sunshine… all you had to do was ask.”

With that, he backs away from you, turning around and then heading into the dining room to make himself a drink, leaving you alone in the kitchen. Your chest is heaving slightly from the adrenaline, your heart is beating ten times fast, and you can feel your arousal start to drip down your thigh. You opted out of wearing any underwear this evening, which you now know was a huge mistake. 

Finally, Josh, Sam, and Danny reemerge from outside, carrying cases of beer and grocery bags. You greet them and smile shyly at Josh as he sets the bags down and walks over to you, wrapping one around your waist. As you catch Jake’s eyes in the mirror above the bar cart and notice the mischievous look that starts to creep over his face, you know that you’re about to be in for a long night.

You wait for Jake to desert the bar cart and find a seat at the kitchen island before walking over to make yourself a very strong drink, which you know you’re going to need. You pour yourself what seems to be about two shots of tequila before adding some soda water. The guests have begun to arrive now, trickling in slowly, and as social as you typically are, you didn’t really feel like you were in the mood for the same old small talk. “How’s the tour?” “What’s in store next for the band?” It’s always the same questions, and as much as Josh loves to answer them and talk about his art, you didn’t have it in you to stand there quietly and nod along. And then, as though someone had read your mind, a soft voice calling your name broke you from your trance.

“Y/N, hey,” you turn your head to see Sam standing in front of you. You offer him a soft smile, silently thanking him for saving you from your thoughts. 

“Hey, Sam,” you answer, straightening your back, trying not to seem as absent as you so clearly were. You watch as he walks up next to you, taking the bottle opener from the bar cart and popping off the bottlecap from his beer, then setting it back down. 

“D’you wanna go hang out in the living room with me? You look a bit bored, and Daniel’s already ditched me for some chick,” he chuckles to himself, then takes a swig of his beer before continuing. “We could put a record on, I’ll even let you choose.” You giggle a bit and look up at him for a moment. “Sure.”

The two of you walk through the dining room into the living room, where a few people have already started to congregate. You see Jake in the corner of the room speaking to who you know to be one of their producers, his back leaning against the wall with his whiskey glass in his hand. You immediately shake it off and opt to ignore him.

Sam sits down on one of the loveseats, leaning back against the cushion. You walk over to Josh’s record player and sift through his record collection, trying to find the perfect one for the occasion. After searching for a moment, a smile grows on your face as you pull out Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours. You take the vinyl out of its protective sleeve and place it gingerly on the turntable, then lift the arm and place the needle delicately on the edge of the record.

 As Second Hand News begins to play, you walk back toward the loveseat and sit down next to Sam. He’s wearing a toothy grin, and says “Good choice, Y/N,” then takes another sip of his beer. You watch as his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, then look back up at his face and smile at him. He wasn’t a bad-looking guy, and he was certainly sweet- though, not your type. You subtly turn around to see if Jake is watching, and you’re immediately met with his eyes piercing through you. This will definitely do the trick.

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After a few hours of sitting and chatting with Sam, and several more tequila sodas, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. Josh had popped in every once and a while to check in on you, sometimes choosing a record to put on, then going back to whoever he was talking to. He knew you didn’t need him to hover over you, you could handle socializing without him. Besides, he had never asked you to be his girlfriend, so who would he introduce you as to his colleagues anyway? It was less complicated to just keep to yourself. 

Or, keep to Sam, if you’re being specific. The two of you talked for hours, just about traveling and the outdoors and his garden. You knew Jake was watching, and every once and a while, you’d touch Sam’s arm while you spoke just to get Jake riled up, and you knew it was working. 

You head upstairs to use the bathroom and decide to use Josh’s master bathroom instead of the main one, to check on your makeup and have a few moments to yourself. You finally break the seal, and as you stand up from the toilet, you feel your head rush a bit- a sure sign that you’ve clearly had enough to drink. You fix your makeup, reapply your lipstick, and then run your hands through your hair a bit to get out any kinks. 

You pull your phone out of your purse and see the time: 10:27 p.m. Still a decent amount of time until midnight. As you slip your phone back into your purse, you hear the outer door to the bedroom open and shut. You open the bathroom door and step out to find Josh approaching you.

“Hey, baby,” he says, a slight slur in his voice giving you the impression that he's had a few to drink himself. “I was wondering where you went off to… was worried about you.” He slips his arms around your waist, pulling you into him and placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Oh, I’m alright, don’t worry,” you answer, wrapping your arms around his neck and running your fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. “Just needed to powder my nose.” You let out a little giggle at the phrase, which brings a big smile to his face.

“Well, you look beautiful, darling,” he says, kissing your cheek again, then trailing his lips down, peppering soft kisses along your jaw. “Been thinking about you all night, you know.”

You smirk as you lean your head back slightly to give him more access to your neck. “You have?” you jest, bringing one of your hands down to grip his shoulder for stability as he starts to suck lightly on the skin of your neck.

“Of course I have… Haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you in this dress, baby… We didn’t get to finish what we started earlier, did we?” he mumbles against your skin as he guides you toward his bed. The warmth of his breath against your neck is enough to get you aroused, especially combined with all the alcohol in your system, and you already feel the wetness pooling between your thighs. 

You grab the collar of his sweater and pull him into you as your back falls onto the bed, capturing his lips in yours. His hands grip your ass firmly before his right hands slides between your legs. When he finally notices your lack of underwear, he lets out a low groan and leans back down to kiss you again.

“Fuck, baby,” he mumbles against your lips, his voice dripping in lust, “You do this for me?” He runs his fingers through your wetness as he attacks your neck again, causing you to let out a small moan as you nod “yes” and reach your hands down to start undoing his belt. You can already feel that he’s ridiculously hard, and your intoxicated state is causing you to be a bit more impatient than usual.

“I need you, Josh. Need you so bad,” you whine, which makes him groan loudly against your neck. You use your hands to pull him onto the bed more before pushing him to the other side, with him lying on his back. You quickly hike your dress up over your hips before crawling back onto the bed agilely now with the increased freedom from your tight dress. After gently tapping the side of Josh’s thigh, he get the message and lifts his hips up off the bed, allowing you to shimmy his pants and boxers down just enough so they sit resting at his mid-thigh.

You position yourself at the bottom of the bed, taking Josh’s thick, hardened cock in your hands, pumping it a few times before taking him slowly into your mouth. He lets out a deep, guttural groan as he watches you take him completely down your throat. “God, you look so fuckin’ sexy like that,” he utters, bringing his hand down to brush your hair out of your face and then holding it all in his fist as you bob your head up and down. He throws his head back as you ease him all the way to the back of your throat, but then quickly pulls you off of him. “If you keep going, I’m not gonna last, baby. Need to feel you,” he says, pulling you up to straddle him.

You place your right hand on the back of his neck and pull him into a deep kiss as your other hand works to align yourself with him, letting the straps of your dress sling down your arms. Finally, you slowly sink down on him, letting out a moan that’s much louder than you intended. You kiss him passionately, slipping your tongue past his lips and joining his as you start to lift your hips slowly, then bring them back down. 

“Fuck, that’s it, darling’. Just like that,” he moans, gripping your hip tightly with his left hand as the other finds your breast now pouring out of your dress. He squeezes it softly, then rolls your nipple between his fingers, causing you to let out another moan. His lips find your neck and travel downward, sucking harsh bites into your collarbone. You pick up the pace on top of him, throwing your head back as the feeling of his lips on your neck and his cock throbbing inside of you begin to throw you completely out of orbit.

Josh starts to thrust upwards into you, meeting you halfway as you become a blubbering mess for him. “Oh, fuck Josh, right there,” you whine, squeezing your eyes shut as the euphoric feeling takes over. He takes that moment to flip the both of you over, then swiftly tucking his dick back into you and takings your lips in his. You whine loudly, which is barely being muffled inside the walls of his mouth, but you don’t care.

You could tell by his uncontrolled thrusts that he was getting close, and you knew that with both of you having had as much to drink as you had, this wasn’t going to last long. He groans loudly into your mouth one final time before, pulling out of you and straddling your torso quickly, holding himself up with one hand on his headboard behind you. Hunched over you, you place kisses along his abdomen as he throws his head back with a groan and finishes on your chest. 

He brings his head down to rest on top of yours, leaving a soft kiss on top of your head before getting up. As he stands up next to the bed, he looks down at you, admiring the sight of you lying on his bed, with your dress now only left covering your mid section. “My god, you are exquisite… could put this view in a fucking museum,” he mutters, leaning over you and grasping one of your breasts in his hand, spreading his cum across them. He groans as his hands caress you, bringing his lips down to kiss you. Finally, he pulls his pants up slightly, retreating to the bathroom to get a wet hand towel to clean you off before the both of you redress for the rest of the party.

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JAKE’S POV

You excuse yourself to go get another drink, then walk over to the dining room. As you pour yourself another glass of whiskey, you wonder how many you’d reached- was it four? Maybe five? It doesn’t matter. You take a long sip before returning to the living room, then notice that she’s gone. You swear she was just here. Sam was still there on the couch, thank God. You knew that she was hanging all over him to get under your skin, and it makes your blood boil to admit that she was succeeding. 

You set your glass down on a side table and then venture upstairs in hopes of finding her alone. She was no match for your charm, no matter how hard she fought you on it. But as you climb the stairs and take a look around, you can’t help but notice noises coming from Josh’s bedroom. 

Out of curiosity, you slowly creep closer to the door, and the sound that you find coming from the room makes your heart nearly stop beating. It’s her, you know it’s her- but she’s not alone. 

“Oh, fuck Josh, right there,” you hear her exclaim, sending shivers down your spine. Despite the sounds being for your brother, all you can think about is how you can get her to make those noises for you. You’d never admit it out loud, but you’d do anything to feel her underneath you again, to be the one coaxing those moans out of her. 

Just the idea of it sends half the blood from your brain straight down to your dick, you can’t control it. You feel yourself strain against the material of your pants as you listen to her whine on the other side of the door. You slowly palm your erection through your pants, just to find some relief and get it under control, but you realize that it’s much more serious than you thought. 

With that, you pull yourself away, heading into the bathroom in the hallway at the top of the stairs. You quickly shut the door and lock it behind you. As you approach the mirror, you almost don’t recognize the man staring back at you. Who are you, to let some girl get the best of you like this? Not only that, but the aspect of her being off-limits makes it even more appealing. Whatever, you’re nothing if not a masochist. You’ve found yourself in trickier situations than this in your lifetime.

You reach down and try to ease your erection away again as you hear the distant sound of a door shutting. Curiosity takes control, and you unlock the door and stick your head out, seeing your brother threading his belt back together, bouncing down the stairs, and turning the corner toward the kitchen. You shut off the light and crack the door open now, leaning against the wall and waiting for her to inevitably come out.

✺⋅∘⋅•⋅∘⋅✧⋅∘⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅∘⋅✧⋅∘⋅∙⋅∘⋅✺

YOUR POV

Thanks to Josh’s help, you have to fix your makeup again, so he heads downstairs first without you while you go back into his bathroom to freshen up. As you finish up, you check your phone one last time: 11:29 p.m. Better get going, you thought.

You open the door to Josh’s room and step out into the hallway, shutting it behind you. You walk toward the steps, but before you’re able to start your descent, you feel two strong, calloused hands pull you back into the hallway bathroom. The figure shuts the door, leaning your back against it as they flick the light on and you’re suddenly face to face with a very inebriated Jake Kiszka.

“Was curious about where you ran off to… now I know. Dirty girl,” he mutters, reaching down to sweep a piece of your hair out of your eyes. You let out a quiet sigh as you looked up at him, realizing that he’d heard you.

“Where I ran off to is none of your business, for the record,” you scoff, rolling your eyes. He ignores your jaggedness and continues.

“First, you flirt with my little brother right in front of me all evening, Then you sneak away to fuck my twin brother, during his own party, knowing that I could find you there.” He brings his hand up to rest on the back of your neck, his thumb caressing your cheek softly. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you were trying to make me jealous…”

You look up at him, answering smartly, “What would you say if I was?” A smirk washes over his face at your answer, and you hate that you’re feeding right into his ego, but the alcohol in your system doesn’t seem to care. 

“I told you earlier, sweetheart- If you wanted my attention, all you had to do was ask,” he says, leaning down to brush his nose against your cheek, then whispering directly into your ear. “But now you’ve got me all worked up… And we can’t have that, can we? You can’t just tease me in public like that and expect me to let you get away with it.”

Your breath grows shaky as the feeling of his mouth so close to you starts to intoxicate you. “What are you going to do?” you ask.

“I think I’m gonna have to teach you a lesson, sunshine…” he answers, bringing his hands down to your hips and guiding you over to the sink, resting your back against the cold marble. He leans in once more, resting his lips against the shell of your ear. “If you’re going to act like a slut, then I am going to treat you like one.”

With that, his hands turn you around, bending you over the sink. You plant your hands firmly on either side of the counter, panting slightly from the anticipation as your eyes meet his in the mirror. His lips meet your shoulder, placing soft kisses there then slowly down your back. His left hand rests on your hip while his right is planted firmly on the small of your back, keeping you bent over in just the way he wants. You’ve never been handled by a man like this before, and you’re not complaining.

You feel his hands slowly slide your dress up over your ass to rest on your hips, much like your encounter with Josh not long ago. But Josh is long gone from your mind now- all you can think about is the feeling of Jake’s breath on your skin as he plants agonizingly slow kisses on your thighs.

 As Jake sees your core, bare and open to him underneath your dress, he lets out a deep groan. “Fucking filthy. I knew it,” he mumbles, then sucks a love bite on your asscheek, placing a soft kiss afterward. He brings his face back up to meet your gaze in the mirror once again.

He pulls your hair over your left shoulder then starts sucking the sensitive part of your neck as his fingers start to run through your folds. His eyes look up to meet yours in the mirror as he removes his lips from you for a second.

“He didn’t make you cum, did he, sweetheart?” he asks, kissing your shoulder as his fingers find your clit, rubbing slow circles against it. You bite your lip to stifle the moan that almost erupted from deep inside your chest and then shake your head “No.”

“No, he didn’t, did he? Left that job to me, huh?” he mumbles against your skin. “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll take good care of you.”

Jake crouches back down and then spreads your cheeks apart, letting out a low groan as he plants a wet kiss right on your folds and immediately dives in. You have to steady yourself from the sudden movement and quiet your moans with a bite of your lip as he attacks your core from behind you.

He makes quick work of you as his tongue pleasures your pussy, licking deep inside and making you feel like never before. His right hand wraps around you and makes quick circles around your clit, causing you to let out a quiet moan. He groans against your core at the sound and palms himself through his pants as he gets you closer and closer to your climax. As he hears your noises become less and less controlled, he can tell you’re close. 

“That’s it, baby, cum all over my face like the dirty whore you are, you know I want it,” he says quickly before diving back into you. His pace quickens even more and before you know it, you feel your orgasm crashing over you. It’s like something you’d never felt before, it erupts from you before you can even see it coming and you can’t stop it. Jake coaxes you through it, helping you down from it. 

You finally come down from your high, you turn around to face him and find his face completely soaked. You gasp at the sight before pulling him up and capturing his lips with yours, tasting yourself as your tongue slips into his mouth. He moans into your mouth, pulling you closer to him. You feel his hard cock against your core, straining against his pants, causing you to whine against his lips. 

You pull away from him, resting your forehead on his. “Jake…” you say, resting your hands around his waist. “Let me make you feel good…” Your eyes meet his and you can see the internal battle happening in his head as he shakes his head and shows you his watch. 11:54. 

Shit. You had to go, and he knew it. Your eyes soften as you look up at him. “I’m sorry,” you utter as he backs away from you, allowing you to exit the bathroom. You unlock the door, pull it open, and then turn around to look at him one more time. There’s a look in his eye that you can’t place, but you don’t have the time to ask him about it at this moment. 

You rush down the stairs to find all the partygoers in the living room, watching the ball-drop countdown on Josh’s flatscreen TV. You see Josh, leaning against the wall near the dining room holding his drink, by himself. Your heart sank a bit knowing that he was alone and didn’t know where you were, but it didn’t matter now.

“Hi, baby, sorry it took me so long,” you say, wrapping your arm around his waist. He looks over at you, a smile growing on his face. “I had a lot more to drink tonight than I thought, so I had to take a couple more minutes to collect myself.”

“That’s okay, darlin’. I’m just glad you're here now, you’re just in time,” he says with a grin, placing a soft kiss on your cheek as you both turn to watch the TV.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!

As the clock hits midnight, Josh wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you in for a long kiss. You cup both of his cheeks with your hands as you both share a special New Year’s kiss. As he finally pulls away, you can’t help but notice Jake across the room, standing alone with his eyes locked on you. You watch as he picks up his half-drank glass of whiskey and downs the rest of it, slamming it back down on the table and then walking out of the room to the kitchen. 

That’s when you knew that you were way over your head. You’re not sure how you can appease one twin without hurting the other. You realize that it all goes much deeper than you knew, and whatever you had with Jake wasn’t going away anytime soon. You know you have to face it head-on. But where will that lead you? You’ll likely end up breaking somebody’s heart, but whose will it be? If you’re not careful, it might be your own.

✺⋅∘⋅•⋅∘⋅✧⋅∘⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅∘⋅✧⋅∘⋅∙⋅∘⋅✺

leave a comment or send me a dm to be added to the taglist! thanks for reading! see you all real soon ;)

Taglist:

@itsafullmoon @vanfleeter @klarxtr @itsdannysworld @lipstickitty @peaceloveunitygvf @wildmoonworld @ignite-my-fire

[gretavangroupie]

Edible

Word count: 16.0k

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Drugs. Smut: Kissing, Touching, Oral M!Receiving, Fingering, Oral F!Receiving, Dirty Talk, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex, Breeding Kink (if you squint), Cum Play. Major Fluff.

A/N: The very last part of our four part Valentine's Day Mini Series I've been working on along with my best pal, @sacredstarcatcher! We had so much fun writing these, and we hope that you enjoy Jake's story to wrap things up! Thank you so much for reading these one shots over the last few weeks, maybe we will do it again soon! ❤️

Usually, Valentine’s day wasn’t a holiday that bothered you. As a single person in your mid 20’s, it’s almost expected that you dread the 14th of February. The years before and between relationships never bothered you, but as you slip into your pajamas at 7:50pm on a Friday night that also happens to be Valentine’s day, the realization that you’re alone hits a little harder.

You shuffle down the stairs in your slippers and matching PJ set, your destination being the bottle of red wine in the fridge. As you stand in front of the door and look at the dry erase calendar on your freezer, you avoid acknowledging the little heart you drew around the number 14 when you were clearly in better spirits. You also happen to see the little sticker that lives permanently above the column of Fridays. Trash day.

Letting your head fall back, you groan at the ceiling before turning on your heel towards the trash can. Lifting the half-full bag out and tying it off, you consider whether or not you really need to take the bin out to the curb… It’s so, so cold, and you’ve had a tough day already.

Shaking your head, you pull yourself out of your thoughts and decide to grow up. You get moving and elbow the door open, wincing as the cold air hits your skin. The short sleeve shirt and matching shorts combination are really not on your side at this moment as you jog down the four stairs towards the spot where your trash bins live. 

It’s a minute of wrestling before you get the bag in and flip the top closed, grabbing the handle and beginning to wheel it towards the end of your driveway. The rattling of the plastic wheels is so damn loud you feel like you’re waking up half your neighborhood. Oh, wait. They’re probably all out for Valentine’s day. You can’t help but roll your eyes as you kick the bin upright and position it on the patch of grass near the curb.

As you’re about to turn and head inside, you hear rumbling coming from across the street. When you raise your head and try to focus despite the limited light from the streetlamps and the clouded moon, you see your neighbor from across the street. For a moment you feel a little vulnerable in your pajama set, legs bare and no bra, but then you see he’s shirtless, a thin bathrobe over his shoulders and down his back, but it’s hanging open, giving way to show you his tanned chest and stomach. His sweatpants are hanging sinfully low on his hips, and even though you’re all the way across the street, you can see there’s just a tiny bit of hair peeking out from above his waistband.

He has his head down as he does almost the same exact thing you did- he shimmies the bin into position on the curb and makes sure it’s closed tight, left with some defense against the wind. His hair is in a low, messy bun, some stray strands of hair framing his face. 

As you stare at him from the shadows across the street, realizing you’re probably giving off way weirder vibes than intended, you think back on when you’ve seen him and try to remember his face. As you think, there’s a silhouette of a cat in his front window, a warm glow behind it. And then the memory comes to you.

There was one afternoon when you had first moved in, the summer, seven or eight months ago. He came and knocked on your door, a pair of sunglasses on, his shirt unbuttoned and paired with some breezy linen pants. You answered the door in confusion, but were friendly regardless.

“Hi. I’m, uh, I’m Jake. I’m your neighbor. I live across the street?” He said, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. 

“Right, right. Hey. I’m Y/N.” You answered with a slightly concerned smile. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, um,” he started, wiping the corners of his mouth with his thumb and forefinger as he gathered his thoughts. You watched as he crossed his arms over his chest in almost a nervous habit. 

“Do you wanna come in?” You offered, but he shook his head no, waving you off casually.

“No, no. I actually just have a weird and maybe cumbersome favor to ask of you.” He said, his confidence building as the conversation went on. You raised your eyebrows, a little confused, but wordlessly encouraging him to go on.

“There’s this cat that lives in my house and I usually leave him with my brother’s girl when I travel, but she’s actually tagging along, so I’m kind of in a pinch and need someone to feed the thing.” He said. You gave him a look of playful confusion.

“That’s a weird way to say you have a cat.” You quipped, laughing.

“I’m not keeping it! I just don’t want it to get hungry or get hit by a car or something.” He said, laughing through his words. Before you can poke any more fun at him, he keeps talking.

“He’s a grazer, so he really just needs his big ass bowl refilled once a day and he’ll be fine,” he said, flashing you a little smile. “And water.”

You considered it for a moment, but he had such a way about him that there was no way you would be able to say no.

“Okay. Yeah, sure. For how long?” You asked, leaning on the door frame. He fished out a key from his pocket, handing it over as he spoke. It was brass and there was a little soccer ball keychain attached. 

“Just for the weekend. I’ll be back Sunday night.” He said with a little excitement in his voice. Holding his spare key in your hand, you nodded and gave him a polite smile.

“I can do that. For sure.” You reassured him as he leaned from foot to foot, almost like he had somewhere to be. 

“I fed him just now and I’m about to head out, but when you go in, the kitchen is on the left and his bowl is there. The food is in the bin with… with the food. It’s clear so… you can see it.” He said, taking a few steps backwards. “He also bites, but he’ll probably hide from you anyway, so don’t sweat it!” He added, jogging down the two stairs to the sidewalk. 

“O-okay!” You answered, perplexed but charmed. He shouted across the road to thank you before he hopped into his car and backed out of his driveway.

When you eventually went over to his house the next day, you opened the door cautiously, not wanting to sneak up on the cat who you were warned would bite you. After a moment of wondering why you agreed to this, you shrugged and pushed the door open gently. As if the cat was waiting for Jake himself but then realized it was you, he went flying by so quickly you only heard the thump of his paws and the jingle of his collar. Your eyes almost immediately found the big bowl in the kitchen, sitting in the middle of a little placemat. ‘DAVY’ was etched into the porcelain, so you figured it had to be his. Like Jake mentioned, there was the bin of food about a foot away. 

You didn’t see the cat a single time that weekend. Sunday morning, after you fed him the last time, you left the key on the hook near Jake’s front door and locked it from the inside. You didn’t hear from him, but one day when you got home from work, there was a bottle of wine on your welcome mat with a card underneath, wax sealed with care. Inside, you found a card with a short note of thanks and his name signed in indigo ink. 

You’re pulled back to the present as a car flies down your street, headlights flashing in your peripherals. The light pulls his attention too, and it’s seconds before he notices you across the street. He raises one open hand, giving you a casual wave. You smile and wave your hand back and forth, a polite, neighborly greeting. 

“Look at you, all dressed up. Big plans tonight?” He says, projecting his voice all the way across the street. Your eyes widen in embarrassment, realizing he’s absolutely calling you out for being outside in your pajamas. 

“Oh! Ha. Yeah.” you say, the laugh incredibly forced, your nerves turning you into an awkward, stiff mess. Freezing cold, nervous, and a little embarrassed, you give him another quick wave and scurry inside your house, disappearing. You close the door and snatch the bottle of wine from your fridge, taking the bottle and glass with you into the living room. 

You practically dive under the blanket on your sofa and wrap it around you in a hurry. As you reach for the bottle of wine and pour yourself a little glass, you hear your phone buzz from somewhere in the couch cushions. Fishing it out from under your thigh and some layers of blanket, you squint and turn the brightness down immediately.

You have a few notifications from instagram and other apps, and one text from an unsaved number.

???

8:08pm: Sorry for being weird, lol

It has to be Jake. You hop up from the couch and shuffle to the bulletin board and dry-erase calendar on your freezer to see the torn piece of paper pinned to it. Comparing the two numbers, you confirm it’s the same. That leaves you frozen as you try to figure out how to respond.

You

8:10pm: Oh no worries, you were right. I’m clearly staying in tonight 🍷

When you get back to the couch, nuzzling yourself back under your blankets, you look over your shoulder and out the window at his house. There are a few lights on and the cat’s silhouette has disappeared from the window.

You decide to save his number quickly before finally taking a few sips of your wine. 

Jake - Neighbor

8:13pm: Likewise. I’m about to take an edible and spend the rest of my romantic evening falling down a youtube wormhole. 

Laughing, you think of something clever to send back. It takes a while because everything you come up with seems to be toeing the line of flirty and friendly. 

You

8:17pm: Sounds fun... If you open your curtains a little more I could probably watch along. 🙂

Jake - Neighbor

8:20pm: Or you could accompany me down said wormhole, meaning we both won’t have to lie about being alone on Valentine’s day tomorrow?

You’re immediately conflicted. This guy is your neighbor, and although he seems friendly, this feels like the beginning of a terrible Hallmark movie or even worse, one that went straight to Netflix. You think about the invitation as you stare at your glass of wine on the coffee table next to your kindle. It couldn’t hurt to just go hang out for a little while… right? It would be good to get to know him. Maybe you could convince him to mow your lawn over the summer or something.

Not to mention he’s cute. Your mind flashes back to the way he looked glowing under the streetlights, his messy bun and the tan line on his hips that you need to stop thinking about before your mouth begins to water. 

You

8:21pm: Lol are you serious? I don’t want to intrude 

You bite at your lip nervously, waiting for him to reply. The little bubbles that indicate he’s typing make your stomach churn as you look over your shoulder and out the window once more. There’s a little bit of a glow coming from the other side of his house now and you see his shadow move across the window.

Jake - Neighbor

8:22pm: It’s not intruding if I’m inviting you. 

It doesn’t take much convincing on his end, if any. You down the last of your wine for courage and ditch the blanket on the couch. Heading up the stairs, you grab the cardigan you left hanging over the banister and pick out something to wear. The matching jammies clearly aren’t appropriate, but you don’t want to dress like you’re trying too hard. 

You

8:25pm: Should I bring anything?

Standing in your closet for a few minutes, you ultimately land on a pair of yoga pants and an old t-shirt, a soft baby blue Rush tee with the band’s name spelled out in big, rainbow bubble letters. It was once your dad’s, but lives in your wardrobe as a slightly cropped version now.

Jake - Neighbor

8:26pm: Nope. Just yourself. Need the address? 😉

Pulling on the cardigan, you tug the back of it down a little to assure you’re not showing up with your ass on display from the get-go. You stand at the door with nothing but your phone and keys, bracing yourself for however this Valentine’s night is about to go.

You

8:28pm: I think I remember how to get there. I’m on my way 🙂

—

You pull your sleeves down over your hands as you climb the steps to his porch, the freezing cold wind whipping through your cardigan as if it wasn’t even there. You rap your knuckles against the wooden door, a small wave of nerves rushing through your body as you wait for him to answer. You hear his footfall against the wooden floors as he makes his way to the door, and as he opens it you feel a rush of warmth as the heat from inside blows past you. 

His eyes subconsciously look you over and as he realizes he pulls his eyes away, letting them dart around for a few seconds before landing on your face. He offers a shy grin and swallows down his nerve. “Any trouble finding the place?” he jokes, giving you a small glimpse of his real smile. 

“Oh yeah, traffic was awful...” you quip back, watching his full smile bloom across his face. 

“Come in, come in. I know it’s cold out there.” he says, ushering you inside. The house is very different from the last time you’d seen it. More art on the walls, a new rug or two, and most importantly there were lights on. A fire is going in the fireplace, the logs crackling drawing you into his home further.

“Your home is beautiful. I’m suddenly insanely jealous that I don't have a fireplace.” you smile, gesturing towards the beautiful brick hearth. 

“Thanks, I try to do what I can here and there. What’s a home if you can’t enjoy the time you spend in it…” he ponders, suddenly flicking his attention back to you. “I could…show you around if you want, it’s kind of a mess at the moment…” he pauses, rubbing his fingers over his lips as his eyes scan the room. You can tell he is feeling put on the spot and your chest warms at his underlying hospitality. 

“That’s okay, I know you were totally not planning on having a guest.” you laugh, hoping to ease his anxiety. 

“Yeah, I’m not here too often, and when I am, things kind of get strewn around and forgotten. It’s actually a fluke that I’m here now. Which brings me back to the part about enjoying the house while I’m here.” he says, trying to unnecessarily justify his lived in space. 

Your mind wanders as you recall his empty driveway the past few weeks, and you try to piece together if you ever remember him mentioning what he does for work, or why he’s gone so often. You hardly ever see him coming and going, just the glow from his windows on rare occasions.

He pulls you from your thoughts and you refocus on him, realizing that he too, has changed into different clothes. He’s added a slightly wrinkled black button down shirt to a pair of equally as wrinkled khaki pants, rolled at the ankle. To anyone else this would seem like a strange choice to hang out on the couch, but on him it seemed fitting, almost like these were his relaxing clothes. 

“Can I get you anything to drink, or?” he asks, gesturing towards the kitchen, a tiny little sliver of his stomach peeking from beneath the frayed hem, showcasing an unseasonably dark tan.

“Sure, um I will take some water?” you squeak out, trying to pretend you weren’t just staring at his waist. 

“Okay, you can just… sit wherever. I'll be right back.” he says nodding towards the couch. He walks off into the kitchen as you venture into his living room, the fireplace providing the perfect ambience for such a cold night. His couch isn’t huge, but it does seem comfortable. A few throw pillows are tossed to one side, giving you the hint that he was previously occupying the other side. You move a few of the pillows towards the center and position yourself at the opposite side on the chaise lounge, as you let your eyes glance around the room. The walls are dark and covered with art, and bookshelves line most of the walls. A large TV sits just to the left of the fireplace, the video he was previously watching paused and awaiting his return. 

You relax into the couch cushions, closing your eyes and listening to the perfect crackling sound of the fireplace. The glass of wine from earlier is seeping into your bones and you’re suddenly feeling just a little bit more relaxed. Jake returns a few seconds later, offering you a glass filled to the brim with ice water. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted ice or not, so I just made it how I like it.” he says, falling back into his place on the couch. He tosses a few of the throw pillows between you, down onto the ground so that there is less of a barrier, before kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. 

“Where’s your little kitty cat?” you ask, turning to face him. “Or did you find him a home after all…”

“Who? Ol’ Davy Jones?” he asks, an air of underlying affection in his tone. “Ahh, that little vagrant is around here somewhere. Truthfully, I just haven’t even had time to think about finding him a home.”

You smile because you can tell he is lying. “That’s funny, because it’s been what? Almost a year now?”

“Has it… Hmmm.” he says, staring off into space. “I’m sure he’ll be around, he’s a curious little thing.” 

“You know they say that you shouldn’t name pets that you don’t plan to keep…” you press, raising an eyebrow in challenge. 

“Well…” he pauses. You can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to piece together an excuse. “He wasn’t responding to ‘hey you feline’, so I was practically forced into giving him a name. You know how these things go. I really am going to find him a good home one of these days when I have the time.”

You nod your head with a smile, as he shakes his own head, stifling back a guilty grin. 

“So that is why he has a food bowl with his name on it, right?” 

“Aye, aye, what’s with the twenty questions, hm?” he barks, tossing a throw pillow towards you. You catch it and hug it to your chest, resettling into your place. 

“Oh, no reason. Just trying to get to know my neighbor and his cat, that’s all.” you say with a cheeky smile. 

“He’s not my cat. He just lives in my house.” he says finally, feigning arrogance. “Anyways, tell me about you…”

“Not a whole lot to know, I just moved here, well almost a year ago now, for work. I go to work, come home, watch trashy TV and cook, and sometimes on the weekends I catch some friends at the bar. I also occasionally feed my neighbor's cat. Oh, and spend most holidays alone, which is how I ended up here.” you laugh, not wanting to give too much away. 

“Well, I’m glad that you did, I’m rather enjoying having company for once. Listen, I was serious about the edible if you…” he trails off, nervously licking over his lips.

“Oh, yeah of course. Let’s do it.”

He stands from the couch, walking across the room and rummaging around in a backpack on the floor. The first thing he pulls out is an eyeglass case, tucking it under his arm. Then he reaches back in, searching for a moment more, before he pulls out a small black bag and returns to the couch, opening it up as he sits. He places the black glasses case on the table, then picks it up again, making sure there are actually glasses inside before closing it and putting it aside for later.

“Oh Jesus, Josh…” he mutters under his breath. He licks his lips and turns to look at you. “Okay, so, apparently they are peach ring gummies. My brother gave them to me, but didn’t specify the variety.”

“That’s actually fine, I love peach rings.” you blush. 

“Really? Okay, good. I thought–” he stops himself with a smile. “Okay, ladies first, how much do you want?

“Um, how much are you gonna have?” you ask, letting your eyes flick up to his. 

“Dunno…” he says, inspecting the bag for the details. “Okay, probably half. You think you can do half, or do you want a quarter?”

“I think it should be an even playing field, I’ll do half if you do half.” you answer. 

“Whatever you say…” he says with a smile, trying to pull apart the sticky yellow and orange gummy. It stretches beyond belief and he stops. “Okay, so. I think you’re going to have to bite it.”

“Are you sure?” you ask hesitantly. 

“Yeah, it’s no big deal, you just take half and I’ll take the rest.” he says, leaning over to place it in your hand. You bring it to your lips, biting half of the gummy with your eyes locked on him. He doesn’t dare blink as he watches your mouth, the sugar crystals collecting on your lips. You see him swallow as you pull it from your lips and hand the remainder back to him. He quickly pops it into his mouth and starts to chew. 

Both of you look at each other as you swallow it down, sour looks on both of your faces as the flavor of the strain shines through. 

“That was… not my favorite gummy I’ve ever had.” he winces, clearing his mouth of the flavor. 

“I think it was okay…I’ve definitely had worse.” you laugh, taking a sip from your glass of water. 

“I can’t believe I traded my good blunts for that.” he says, thinking back with a shake of his head. “So, what do you think we should watch? A movie? A TV show? Youtube?” he rattles off. 

“What would you watch if I wasn’t sitting here right now?” you ask, leaning your body into the arm rest. 

His demeanor quickly changes, his cheeks blushing and his tone growing a bit bashful. “If you weren’t here? Um, probably just youtube videos.” he answers, reaching for the remote on the coffee table. 

“Okay, but what kind of youtube videos? What fascinates you…”

He fidgets with the buttons on the remote, trying to decide if he should lie or be honest. His eyes flick up to the TV, then over to you. “Mostly history stuff, like old shipwrecks and stuff. Or maybe sailing videos or guitar videos, I don’t know.”

You can tell he chose to be honest, his fingers still scratching at the buttons on the remote as he waits to see what you’re going to say. 

“Okay so do it. Show me your favorite shipwreck. Enlighten me a little…”

“Really?” he asks, a look of shock painted across his face. 

“Yeah, why not? I like that kind of stuff too. It’s interesting.”

“Yeah, yeah it is really interesting. Okay, hold on.” he grins, clicking the remote to life and returning to youtube. He scrolls to his favorites and makes his way through what has to be a hundred videos, until he finds what he’s looking for.

“Alright, I know this is a little bit boring at the beginning, but I swear it gets better. I actually learned about this first hand at this little museum in the UK last year, and I really fixated on it, and had to immediately consume every piece of media I could find about it. If you hate it we can turn it off, it’s just… really cool if you can make it through it.” he explains, and you smile watching his eyes light up talking about it. 

You smile and nod as he clicks on the video titled, ‘Ghosts of the Mary Rose’. He settles back into the couch, balancing the remote on his knee, and slinging his arm across the back of the couch. You can’t help but notice the proximity of his fingertips as they rest just inches away from your shoulder. The fireplace is still roaring, and the edible is starting to kick in, and you come to terms with the fact there is no place you’d rather be than sitting here learning about this old boat.

Oddly enough, Jake wasn’t wrong. This was one of the cooler shipwrecks you’d learned about, and the fact that he saw it in person made it even better. He proceeded to talk through most of the video, further extrapolating on the points they were making, but explaining them better, in a way that was so purely Jake. 

It was clear history was a passion of his, his eyes simply glowing with pride as he spoke about what he knew about this wreck and others similar. You could tell that he was dying for someone, just anyone, to ask him a single question about it, and tonight, you gave him that and more. 

You wondered if he had people in his life that indulged him on this regularly, or if he kept it bottled up inside. The way he spoke about it so quickly, stumbling over his words just to get them out, had you thinking that maybe it was the latter, and you suddenly couldn’t bear the thought of him ever feeling lonely. 

After what had to be an hour or so, the gummy had met its full potential in your bloodstream. The two of you sat almost mute, staring at the TV screen as he selected videos for you to dive into, but little did he know that it wasn’t the TV you were fixated on. It was the glaring image of his hands as they reflected into the mirror hanging over his fireplace. You watched as they moved, the way his fingers wielded the remote, and the way his fingers would twitch every so often, quickly stifled back by the folding of his hands. You stopped yourself from turning your head to look at them, knowing that if you did you wouldn’t be able to pull your eyes away. 

They seemed large. Slightly larger than the average man’s hands, but they also seemed well manicured. Perfectly manicured actually, as if they were his top priority in his grooming habits. His nails were perfectly trimmed, no nicks or cuts, just perfectly tanned hands that tapped away against his thighs. You pulled your eyes away from the mirror to reach for your water, the dry mouth starting to take effect. 

You drank down half of the glass, and you could almost feel his eyes on you as you did so. You placed the glass back down, and allowed yourself one look at him, finding that you were correct in the feeling of his eyes fixed on you. His entire mood had shifted, you could tell he was feeling completely relaxed as he lounged on his couch. His eyes were a little red, slightly droopier than usual, and his cheeks flushed pink. His legs were crossed on the coffee table, and his bare foot bobbed along to the sound of the video playing in the background. 

You’re not sure if it's the fireplace, the edible, or the man sitting next to you devouring you with his eyes, but you start to feel warm and need to remove your sweater before you burst into flames. You pull the knitted fabric over your arms, and toss it to the floor, leaving you in just your cut off tee, and you swear you see his eyes widen a bit as he takes in the sight of your torso.

In the silence, you hear a faint jingling. He doesn’t seem to notice, but you do, and your eyes shoot to the entryway. His cat trots into the room, probably only expecting Jake, but as soon as he lays eyes on you, he puffs up and hops straight up into the air, then bolts back the way he came, his paws skittering across the floor in a flurry.

The sound makes Jake’s head turn, pulling his eyes from your body and over towards the source of the noise.

“Oh my god, he’s real…” You say in amazement, a smile creeping onto your lips. Jake rolls his eyes at the cat’s dramatics, leaning back to see if he can catch where he went.

“Daaaavvvyyyy…” he calls out in a faux-cockney accent, his voice low and gravelly, rumbling through the house. You would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t make your stomach flip.

“He’s not a fan of me, I don’t think.” You comment, looking in the direction the tiny black cat ran. 

“Don’t think he likes anyone but me, honestly. Bites and scratches the absolute hell out of my brother’s girlfriend whenever she watches him for me.” He says with a chuckle, craning his neck to try and see the cat. He makes a quiet pspspsps sound, but Davy is nowhere to be seen or heard.

“When I found ‘em, he was under a dumpster behind a… a bar.” He says, sitting back up to look at you. “He was practically shouting at me as I walked by, like he was calling for help. So I walked over thinking it was like, a fuckin’ baby or something. I don’t know.”

You grin as he tells the story, which you’re finding quite endearing. 

“He called you over? Oh, he’s bold.” 

“Sure is. So I wrapped him up in my shirt and put him in the passenger seat… he seemed too little to eat the crunchy little cat food, so I went to the store and got some milk… I didn’t fuckin’ know what to do.” He chuckles and itches his nose, his eyes flicking to yours as he realizes you’re invested in the story and listening with bated breath. 

“We got home and he drank some… had a little milk mustache and everything. He seemed to feel better when I got him into the heat, so I made him a deal. He could sleep in the bathroom for the night if he hit the road and left town the next morning.”

“I see that worked out.” You quip, giving him a knowing smile.

“Yeah, the five-pound rapscallion didn’t hold up his end. Owes me a thousand souls now.” 

You hum with raised brows as you nod, letting him go on. 

“I actually…” he starts, fishing his cell phone out of his pocket he taps and scrolls as he talks. “I actually woke up the next morning and caught the poor thing asleep in a pair of me old dirty trousers.” He says, a little bit of that accent slipping in again. He turns his phone around and shows you a photo of Davy curled into a tiny ball inside a pair of patchwork denim pants, a few different shades of blue.

“Oh my god…” you mumble, popping out your bottom lip.

“Lookit his tail over his nose. How was I supposed to show ‘em the door?” He says, flashing you a grin. 

“But you’re still gonna rehome him, huh?” You shoot in his direction, your tone accusatory.

“Should we watch something else? Got any requests?” he asks, gesturing toward the TV with the remote.

“Mmm, you said you liked guitar videos, right? What’s your favorite guitar video of all time?” you ask, crossing your ankles as you stretch out on the chaise. 

“That is quite the loaded question, lass.” he quips, tapping the remote to his lips. His full, pink, totally kissable lips. Wait, he’s your neighbor. You have to stop. 

“Can you narrow it down to a genre?” he asks, flicking his eyes over to you. He takes a deep breath and bites his lips together waiting for your answer. 

“How about…I don’t know, rock? Rock n’ Roll, specifically.” you smirk. 

“I know a thing or two.” he chuckles, scrolling through his favorites. 

“Ahh, okay this one. This one right here. This man was instrumental in my–” he stops, clearing his throat. “He is one of the greatest musicians I’ve ever witnessed.” he finishes.

“Oh, who is it?” you ask, watching him select the video. 

“Pete Townshend.” he answers, starting the video. “He is an incredible guitarist, but that isn’t what makes him great in my opinion. He has this special ability to write insanely powerful rock songs where the guitar isn’t the main focus, or even the main instrument. His work with The Who is just… He isn’t flashy just for the show of it, because he didn’t have to be. His skill speaks for itself and that in itself is an accomplishment.”

“Wow, you know a lot about him. Would you say he is your favorite, then?” you ask. 

“Ahh, I don’t know. I have a lot of favorites. A lot of influences I suppose. Lots of people who shaped me.” he answers, and slowly but surely you start to realize he is letting you know him more and more with each passing second, and you’re hanging on his every word. 

“Shaped you?” you ask, trying to squeeze yourself through the tiny crack in his armor. 

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom. You need anything while I’m up?” he says, standing up slowly and effectively shutting you out. His half smile is a little guilty, which tells you he’s well aware of what he just did. 

“I’m okay.” You answer, giving him a knowing smile as he shuffles out of the room, the sound of his bare feet on the hardwood the only sound under the music playing quietly from the tv.

It’s a minute or two before he gets back and this time when he comes to sit on the couch, he lays across the cushions on his stomach, grabbing the pillow to your left and tucking it between his arm and his head. He’s so, so close to you now, the smell of his shampoo making its way over to you when he nuzzles his head against the pillow. Once he’s completely comfortable, he takes a deep breath and then speaks softly.

“I’m a musician. So. When I said ‘shaped me,’ I meant it almost literally.” His voice sounds a little different when his cheek is smushed into the throw pillow.

“So I’m guessing you play guitar?” you say, blinking up at the TV as the man on the screen’s fingers crawl across the frets.

“I do.” He says it simply, but not in a way that’s short. You look down at his right hand, bent at the elbow and holding on to the pillow. At this distance, you can see there’s a little indent around his middle finger, like he wears a ring of some sort.

“I don’t really have any… creative talents. So I think that’s really impressive.” Your words are quiet and you’re trying to coax him back out of his shell. He lifts his head from the pillow, and when he’s looking up at you from below, his glassy brown eyes are enough to make your heart melt. You have to blink a few times through the brain fog to really focus on them, and when you do, your pulse quickens.

“I’m sure that’s not true. What do you do?” He asks softly, and luckily, he doesn’t seem to notice the way you’re staring at him.

“It’s very true. I’m an accountant.” You answer, laugh bubbling out of you at the absurdity of it all. “Literally the opposite of creative.” 

He breaks into a grin, laughing with you for a second or two, and you think it’s the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard. 

“...Alright. You got me there. We can watch something else…” He says, looking for the remote, and you mourn the loss of eye contact. 

“No, no! I wanted you to pick something you’d watch even if I wasn’t here, and you did. Plus, I kinda like your commentary. This stuff is all new to me.” You say, and he chuckles softly. He rests his head on the pillow again, his arm grazing yours unintentionally. He pays it no mind.

“If you say so.” 

After another two videos accompanied by Jake’s narration, you find yourself so hungry, you think you might be withering away. When there’s a lull in his commentary, you whisper into the dim room from behind him. 

“Is it normal to feel like I need a snack so urgently I might pass away?” 

He stretches a little, rolling over to look at you again. You give him a slow smile, your eyes squinting as your cheeks push them closed. 

“I can go see what I have… It’s been a minute since I’ve been home but there’s probably–”

“No!” You interject, sitting up a little more. He jumps at the motion, a little startled. “I have this tray of chocolate covered strawberries in my fridge! My coworker called in today, and her boyfriend sent her like two dozen of them, so obviously I brought them home.” 

“Oh hell yeah.” He answers, smiling back at you. 

“I’ll be right back!” You say excitedly, hopping off the couch and swiping your keys off the table. You quickly slip on your shoes and head for the front door, darting out into the cold night. 

It’s not long before you’re kicking the refrigerator door shut and sneaking back out into the windy February air. As you cross the street you see his door open, and once you’re close enough, you duck inside. He takes the box from you right away as he shuts the door.

After putting it down on the table near his front door, he reaches for your bare arms, rubbing them to warm you up. He laughs softly as you smile up at him.

“You didn’t bring your sweater, you absolute maniac…” he chides playfully, and you laugh in response, a chill running up your spine. His hands are so warm and his presence so comforting that you find yourself resisting the urge to wrap yourself up in him.

“I didn’t think it would be that cold.” you mumble, trying to keep your teeth from chattering.

“Oh, you thought the cold snap had just let up suddenly?” he asks with a sarcastic inflection, and you roll your eyes with a smile as he lets go of your arms. “Figured it was probably a cozy 27 degrees instead of 22?” 

You pick the strawberries back up and walk past him, back toward the living room to take your seat again. Before you can offer him a snarky retort, he’s quickly heading up the stairs of his old house, taking them two at a time as they creak and crack. Footsteps sound from above you, moving in one direction and then the other, before he’s coming back down slower than he had ascended. When he appears in the entryway of the living room, he’s holding the biggest, plushest navy blue down comforter you’ve ever seen in both of his arms. He’s peeking over and around it as he navigates behind the coffee table, careful not to trip or bump into something. 

“What’s all this?” You ask, laughing at the sight before you as you sit criss-crossed on the chaise, the container of strawberries still sitting in your lap, uneaten. 

“The comforter from my bed, obviously.” He answers, snatching the berries from you once more and putting them on the coffee table. You groan, but it’s short lived, as he drops the entire giant comforter overtop of you. He arranges it to wrap you inside of it, letting your head peek out. He tucks it under your thighs and tugs it closed across your chest. 

“Thank you,” you mumble through a tight-lipped smile, finding him a little ridiculous, but also thoughtful and sweet. He plops down next to you, sitting similarly to you with his legs crossed, the box of strawberries between you. He opens them and offers you one by the stem, which you graciously accept. 

You take a bite, quickly moving your hand under your chin to catch any of the chocolate cracking and falling. You moan a little at the taste, smiling at him when his eyes cut to yours. 

He takes a bite of his own, his approach for avoiding a mess a little different than yours. His bite is so big that it takes him a while to chew through it, eventually speaking with some still in his mouth. 

“I don’t know who the fuck decided these are supposed to be a romantic food.” He has a little bit of chocolate in his mustache and you can’t help but giggle, his tongue quickly darting out to lick it. “I’ve never had a more difficult time eating anything in my goddamn life.” He says, a hearty laugh rumbling through his chest.

You’re so far under the influence and feeling so content from finally getting your hands on the sweets you were craving, all you can do is giggle in response. It’s the kind of giggle that lingers, when the joke is probably forgotten. He’s watching you with one raised brow as you cover your mouth and try to stop it. 

He eventually joins you, unable to resist the contagious, almost delusional snickering coming from you under the giant blanket across from him. It’s a sweet, silly moment, and it feels effortless. You spend the next few minutes chewing and laughing and stealing glances at him in secret. The edible has you at a point where you’re not sure if you’re speaking out loud or thinking the words in your head. So then, the question you’re considering asking him just slips out. 

“Why are you so tan in February?” You laugh, realizing it was a little forward of you to just ask out of nowhere. Luckily, you’re met with a stoned giggle of his own before he swallows and answers.

“I… went to a music festival in South America last week.” He says, eyes flicking up to yours, almost like he’s trying to see if you believe him.

“See anyone good?” You pry, your cheeks a little flushed the more you stare at him and catalog his mannerisms.

“Nobody you’d know.” He says, and you take him at his word. He smiles reassuringly, even though you don’t believe him, and it makes you giggle some more.

Eventually, it settles down and it’s just occasional quiet laughs cutting through the quiet of the room. He reaches for another strawberry and you realize it’s a little too quiet. You turn your head towards the tv, the last video having ended, and the countdown to the next one descending from 15. You squint your eyes a little to see what’s about to play next.

Rig Rundown: Greta Van Fleet [2021] is the title. But what really throws you is the thumbnail. The image is an older guy with coiffed silver hair, smiling and pointing at… Jake? He’s got a smug smile on his face, an arm on this other guy’s shoulder, and his hair down, which you think you’ve seen only once. He’s in a navy blue blazer with a hand on his hip, a guitar hanging across the front of his body. 

“...Is that you?”

10…9…8…

“Huh?” Jake says as he looks up at you from the box of strawberries, his mouth full, a stem pinched between his two fingers. He sees where you’re looking and follows your gaze towards the TV as it counts down. 

7…6…5…

“Oh, fuck–” 

You quickly grab the remote control from the end of the coffee table, trying to find the OK button so it will start playing sooner. Jake panics, tossing the carton of berries onto the table with reckless abandon. He lunges towards you, so you hide the remote inside the comforter along with as much of yourself as you can.

“No!” He shouts playfully, grabbing at the blanket and trying to unravel you. He kneels on the edge of the chaise, knocking you over and trying to get to your hands and arms under the layers and layers of soft, fluffy blankets.

“You have… to let… me watch it!” You argue with a laugh, avoiding his grasp. You finally decide to raise the remote all the way over your head, almost over the edge of the couch. He leans forward over top of you, his weight balanced on his palm next to your head.

“Hand it over.” He says, attempting to be stern, but there’s a smile pulling at his lips. A little jingle begins to play, and you can’t see the screen, but you’re positive the video is starting. You adjust the remote in your hand and crank the volume as he stares down at you. His eyes linger on your lips, then your eyes, then your lips again. His stare is only broken when he realizes it’s getting louder. A riff starts to fill the room, a song you can’t say you’ve ever heard before, and he huffs, reaching for the remote again.

You’re a little distracted watching him on the screen over his shoulder, his long hair and unbuttoned shirt and the way his hands look wrapped around the neck of the guitar. He snatches the remote from you with an extra stretch of his arm and you giggle softly. “Oh my god…” 

“Hey, hey! I’m John from Premier Guitar, and I’m here with Jake Kiszka from–”

Jake pauses the video, falling back into his seat on the couch. His head lolls to the side and he looks at you with a playful, annoyed glare. 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Why the hell are you doing guitar interviews?”

“I told you I’m a musician.” He says, a little short, lifting the remote to exit the video.

“No, no, wait!” You plead, reaching for his forearm to lower it. “Just let me watch, like, a minute.” He doesn’t say anything for a moment. “If you don't, I'll just go home and watch it anyway.” 

He groans, mumbling a barely there “fine,” begrudgingly before pressing play and letting the guy continue.

“Greta Van Fleet! Jake, congratulations! Since I last saw you, you won a grammy! Or two grammys?” 

“Yeah, one…” 

“You have a fucking GRAMMY?” You exclaim as the video continues to play. You turn and look at him, but his eyes are on the screen, squinting with what you can tell is embarrassment. 

“Are you gonna talk through your allotted one minute of watching or what?” He says, giving you a little warning look. You grin, turning your attention back to the screen. As the guy goes on and on, you realize this isn’t the part you want to watch. 

“Can we skip past this guy? He talks a lot. This is not how I want to use my minute.” You bargain, and he just offers you the remote silently with a smirk. 

You fast forward a little until you see he’s about to play. It’s a few seconds of him playing something else you’ve never heard, and then he speaks.

“It’s hotter, it’s a bit hotter…”

You smirk with wide eyes, looking at him in your peripherals.

“Shut up.” He says, closing his eyes like he simply can’t watch any more. You laugh at his dramatics, and when he hears it he can’t help but crack a smile. His cheeks are rosy and you look back at the screen, eyes trying to decide on what part of him to land on. 

“This guy…” You start, shaking your head a little.

“He’s a bit much.” Jake says, looking over at you with a half smile. 

“He’s so sweaty!” You add, laughing through your words. 

He lets you watch for more than a minute. He makes a few comments, scoffing at himself, even running his hand over his face a few times. You can tell it’s a little painful for him, but you’re in your glory. You reach for another strawberry as you look over at his embarrassed face.

“So this is why you’re never here…” you say, turning the volume down a little. “And the music festival…”

“Yep. That would be the reason.” He says softly, sniffing a little as he watches. You turn to look at him and his eyes flick up to yours, his gaze traveling straight to your lips. There's a flicker in his eyes, and you hardly comprehend that his hand is moving towards your face. You feel his thumb swipe softly against your bottom lip, a tiny smear of chocolate on the tip of his digit. Your tongue immediately licks over the place his thumb was, tasting the sugary sweetness of the chocolate that was once there. He places his thumb between his lips, licking the chocolate from his own finger, while his eyes stay locked on yours. 

“Somehow, it’s even sweeter.” he breathes letting his hand drop from his lips. He settles back into the couch cushions resting his head on his hand as he looks at you. You can hardly pull your eyes away from his as your heart races in your chest, the video in the background long forgotten. 

“Tell me why you’re alone on Valentine’s day…” he murmurs, his pink lips barely parting to let the words escape.

“You tell me why you are…” you counter, blinking slowly as you stare at him.

He bites his lips together as he tosses around the words in his head. He clicks his tongue against his teeth as he starts to speak. “Well, to be honest… I’ve had trouble finding someone that can live with the burden of my lifestyle. It’s a lot to ask of someone. ”

“Burden?” you ask. 

“Yeah, that’s the word that always gets thrown around when things go south. And they’re not wrong I suppose. I know that I’m gone more than I’m home. Even you know that.” He says with a humorless chuckle. “Half the time I don’t know the next time that I’ll be home and get to sleep in my own bed. So naturally that sort of…uncertainty doesn’t lend well to relationships. Of any kind really…” he pauses, letting out a sigh. “It’s hard to find, let alone keep, any type of meaningful connection… Especially when I’m halfway around the world. But I swear it’s not for lack of trying on my end. It’s just one of those things that comes with the job whether you want it or not.”

You nod your head slowly, feeling your heart breaking for him. If you weren’t sure before, you are positive now that he is just a little more lonely than he is willing to let on.

“I wasn’t even supposed to be here now. We’re supposed to be traveling to New York right now. Though, everything happens for a reason I guess.” he says, offering you a little smirk as he brushes his hand over top of yours. “Now, your turn. Tell me why such an intriguing woman is all alone on the most romantic day of the year…”

You pull the fluffy blanket up a little further onto your lap, toying with the hem as you look up at him. “I haven’t really dated anyone since I moved here. I thought I would but, I just…haven’t. I thought that once I was settled into a good routine at work I could spend a little more time meeting people, but every time I go out I’m suddenly surrounded by twenty other girls who are by modern standards perfect, and I just don’t even stand a chance against them, you know?” you pause, letting your fingers roll over the stitching on the edge of the duvet. “I don’t look like them, and I never will. So I just work a lot, hang out with my friends when I can, and have zero expectations of ever being the person that is going to stand out in a crowd like that.”

You bite the inside of your cheek as you wait for his response, suddenly feeling stupid for telling this stranger your secrets. 

“You couldn't be more wrong.” he breathes, letting his arm fall against the back of the couch. There’s an air of demand in his voice as he speaks. His hand swipes the hair away from your face, letting his fingers brush your jawline. “You’re prettier than all of them. And smarter, and funnier. They have nothing on you. I’d pick you…In a crowd.”

“You don’t have to just say that to try and make me feel better. It’s okay, really.” you say dismissively.

“I’m not just saying that, Y/N. I mean it. You’re so pretty, and you’re so quick witted, and you listen to me talk about stuff no one else cares about...Shit, I can’t think of one person I know that would have sat through even the first video, let alone let me talk through the entire thing. I’m having one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time, with you.” he urges, settling his hand loosely on the curve of your neck. His skin is warm against yours, and you can smell the remnants of the cologne he likely sprayed on his wrist this morning as it wafts towards your nose. 

You laugh softly, suddenly feeling shy as he compliments you. You lean into him without even noticing, your eyes closing as you breathe him in. The cushion dips as he leans towards you, meeting you where you were and pressing his lips to yours almost tentatively. His fingers grip into your neck as his tongue swipes against your bottom lip. If the gummy didn’t already have you feeling floaty, you were sure you’d be feeling it now. He pulls away from you and a small whimper leaves your mouth at the loss of his warmth. His hand slides down your neck and over your shoulder, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him. With his other hand, he picks up the remote and hits pause, not wanting the video to carry on in the background of what you think is about to be another kiss. 

“C’mere…” he growls, holding a hand out to you. You tuck your feet underneath yourself in an attempt to push up onto your knees, feeling slightly off-kilter. You grip his hand a little tighter as you reach for his shoulder, moving slowly until you’re straddling his lap. He positions your legs on either side of him, making sure you’re comfortable, and taking the opportunity to run his hands over your thighs. You rest your hands on his chest for some stability, your head in the clouds. His hands immediately find their way back to your face, cupping your cheeks as he pulls you in and kisses you again,though this time there is a little more urgency behind it. You slide your hands up and over his shoulders, letting your fingers weave into his hair, grabbing a handful of the chestnut locks and gripping it in your fists. He tilts his head back slightly in response. 

“Oh, fuck.” he groans. He looks at you with his head tilted back, his lids heavy, a barely-there crooked smile on his face. He’s such a sight with his dark eyes and pink lips, you think you might burst on the spot. You know you need to kiss him again, but you also want to hear him moan and curse again, and his exposed throat is calling to you.

Leaning down, you place a kiss to his jaw, the skin soft and warm. You feel like you’re in the passenger seat as someone else, a bolder and less inhibited version of yourself, calls the shots. One minute, you’re thinking about how the textured skin of his throat feels against your cheek, then then the next, you’re kissing and licking at it without a second thought. You feel his skin buzz under your lips as he whines, the taste of his skin and cologne mixed together so good you’re certain you’ll never be able to forget it. 

You feel yourself melting into him, your tongue pulling the delicate skin over his clavicle into your mouth as you suck and bite softly without any consideration for the fact that he probably shouldn’t be covered in love bites. When you lift your head, he’s got his own resting on the back of the couch, his eyes closed, his brows knitted together as you shower him in searing kisses.

Sitting up, you lean over him again for another kiss, this time taking it upon yourself to deepen it, grazing your teeth over his bottom lip as you lace your hands in his hair again, taking a bit of control. You feel him shudder beneath you, his hips bucking up in response. His tongue slides into your mouth and you can taste the lingering flavor of the tequila he was no doubt drinking prior to your arrival mixed with a hint of chocolate. His hands travel down your body, sliding underneath the hem of your shirt. He stops as his hands wrap around your waist, his thumbs swiping over your skin. You lean into his grip, feeling him pull you down onto his groin as his teeth nip at your lips now. 

You know that both of you are still feeling the effects of the gummy and there isn’t a shred of inhibition between the two of you. You release your grip on his hair and let your hands trail down the open buttons of his shirt, feeling the chest you’ve stared at all night beneath your fingertips. You slide them further down, letting your fingers toy with the remaining buttons, waiting to see if he will stop you, but when he doesn’t, you finish the job and push his shirt open completely. A silver necklace rests between his pecs, and you smile recognizing the coin as one of the artifacts you saw in one of the videos from earlier in the night. 

His mouth is like velvet on yours and you can’t help but to want more of him. You roll your hips against him, feeling him growing beneath you and spurring you on even more. Another groan leaves his mouth, his lips vibrating on yours. His hands move up a little further, his thumbs just dusting the underside of your bralette. You can tell he’s doing his best to be respectful, but you simply cannot wait another second to feel his hands on your body. 

You reach for the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head, tossing it to the side. He swallows thickly as his eyes roam over you, his lips parting as he looks you over. His mind is struggling to keep up with the pace things are moving. He hums in approval as he runs a calloused fingertip over your navel, which pulls a lazy smile from you. Jake chuckles in response, now moving his hands to rest at your shoulders before pulling you down closer to him so he can press a wet kiss to your collarbone. His lips trail down your skin until they reach the fullness of your chest, and with his eyes now locked on yours, he sucks a hot, audible kiss into the rounded skin.

Your eyes flutter closed as his tongue swipes against your skin, simultaneously feeling his fingers pull the bralette straps down over your shoulders. With the extra support gone the cups fall slightly, revealing a little more of your chest to him. You grab his hands and pull them to your chest, giving him the green light to take things a little further. 

“God, you’re stunning.” he mumbles breathlessly, gripping into your tits as you roll your hips against him. You lean forward to press your lips to his again, licking into his mouth as his hands move to circle around your back, resting just at the base of your back. He presses you closer as you roll into him again, this time feeling his fully hard cock pressed against your core. He hooks a finger into one side of your bralette, freeing your nipple. He leans forward and takes into his mouth, sucking softly. You groan at the feeling, a breath of air leaving his mouth as you drag across the length of him. He pulls you closer, dragging his tongue over the sensitive bud as mewls fall from your lips. You usually aren’t as affected by something so routine in foreplay, but all of your senses are heightened and you think you could probably cum from the feeling of his mouth spoiling you with kisses and bites combined with how hard he is between your thighs.

He pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, still glassy and blown out. “I promise this isn’t what I intended when I invited you over...” he breathes, his thumbs swiping against your back as he licks his lips, his blinks slow and lazy. 

“I know…” you answer with a bashful smile and lidded eyes, staring into his brown irises. “But it feels too good to stop.” 

“Yeah,” he says, more of a breath than a word. “I want you so fucking bad right now.” he adds, a smirk pulling across his lips as he makes the move to roll you to your back on the chaise of the couch. You're giggling as he’s now hovering over you, similarly to how he was earlier, only this time you know he’s going to kiss you and you don’t have to wish for it. He makes quick work of his shirt, pulling his arms from the sleeves and tossing it to the other side of the room. Your head is positively spinning, the room around you seems like a blur and the only thing in focus is him.

He runs a finger over your chest, hooking into the fabric of your bralette. “Take this off for me, sweetheart. Show me.” he mumbles, his lazy eyes slowly raking over every inch of you, needing more.

You practically burst into flames, rushing to pull the fabric over your head. Now completely exposed to him, his eyes flick down to your chest as he bites his lips together. He pulls back again, unbuttoning his pants and pulling the zipper down for some relief. He swallows harshly, letting his eyes meet yours again. You reach your hand up and hook it around his neck, pulling his face down to yours. You press your lips to his and he lowers himself down to his elbows, deepening the kiss as his body lays on top of yours. 

You let your free hand circle around his back, your fingers following the contours of his waist, dipping down to his spine as you run the length of his back. He groans at the feeling of your nails against his skin, and you find yourself wondering if he’s usually this vocal or if the high he’s experiencing has lowered his guard. 

He shoots up, turning his head around to look at the TV, muttering something under his breath as he grabs the remote from the other side of the couch. He exits the video and you giggle, realizing it was paused on a still of his brother, you assume, in the middle of talking with his hands, sitting behind a keyboard. He tosses the remote to the coffee table, leaning back down over you with a smirk. “Sorry. I just think three’s a crowd.” he smiles, pressing another kiss to your lips.

He pulls away from your lips leaving a trail of kisses down your throat, and over your sternum, stopping just shy of the top of your yoga pants. His eyes flick up to yours, and you offer him a shy nod, silently thanking yourself for that “everything” shower this morning. 

He kisses your stomach one more time before curling his fingers beneath the hem, sliding them slowly over your hips and down your legs before letting them fall softly to the floor. You lay there in just your panties, and you think he may notice that you’re feeling exposed as he quickly stands to kick off his pants. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the heavy outline of his dick, visible and straining against the black fabric of his boxers. 

His eyes flick to yours but you can’t seem to take your eyes off of the tan line just above the elastic of his boxers, wanting more than anything to peel the black fabric from his hips. He kneels onto the chaise, settling himself between your legs and caging you between his arms. A few strands of his hair hang around his face, and his dark brown eyes are growing darker by the second. You bring your hand up to his stomach, letting your fingers sneak beneath the elastic of his boxers, sliding across the front of his waist causing him to clench up his stomach with a smile. 

“You ticklish?” you murmur, continuing to slide your fingers across his waistband. 

He drops his head to look at your hand in his boxers before looking back up at you with a smirk. “Not ticklish, just…sensitive…” he growls. You can tell that the gummy has made him a little more responsive to touch than he normally is.

His hips jolt forward on their own accord and you feel the brush of his dick against your fingers. He sucks in a harsh breath at the contact, his eyes connecting with yours. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you push your hand further inside, wrapping softly around his hardened length. A hiss leaves his mouth and he starts to breathe a little heavier as you squeeze around him. You slide your hand up and around the tip, rounding off at the end before sliding back down, watching his eyes flutter closed for the slightest second. 

“Fuck, wait…” he breathes, pulling back and taking a second to compose himself. He sits up a little more, hooking his fingers into your thong and pulling it swiftly down your legs. His eyes flick up towards the couch then back down the length of the chaise, “Move down a little for me, baby. Rest your feet on the floor. ” 

You quickly push yourself further down on the couch, letting your knees hang over the edge of the chaise until your feet meet the rug on the floor. He drops to his knees at the end of the chaise, running his warm hands up the length of your thighs. He kisses the inside of your thigh, humming in appreciation for the position he’d found himself in. 

He rests both of his hands on your hips, and as you look down at him, you see a faint silver scar up the length of his left arm. You wrap your hand around his forearm, feeling his veins pulsing against your palm.

His eyes meet yours as he slowly drags his tongue through your folds, hot and slow as you throw your head back into the couch cushion. His grip on your waist tightens, his fingers pressing firmly into your skin pulling you closer as his lips suction over your clit. His tongue swipes against you again, flatter and with more pressure as you writhe beneath him. 

“Fuck…” he curses, his warm breath sending a shiver up your spine. “Had I known what I was missing…” he pauses to lick at you again. “I would have pulled you across the street months ago. You taste like heaven.”

You feel as if you’re floating on a cloud as you melt into his comforter, the warmth from the fireplace radiating across the room. A soft gasp falls from your lips as he laps at you, no urgency or strategy behind his method. He seems to just be enjoying himself, his eyes lifting to look at you, a little lazy, a little glassy. You shift underneath him slightly, but he’s not deterred. His mouth doesn’t leave you for even a moment, like you’re his only source of vitality in this very moment. 

You whine when you feel his tongue press to your entrance, and you feel the smile that pulls across his lips. Your hips buck up towards him, his nose brushing over your clit, sending you quickly towards a place you’re not quite ready to be yet. His tongue finds you again, pressing forward this time and entering just for a second before pulling back out. His lips suction over you again, and he shakes his head side to side, taking you to that place whether you’re ready or not.

“Jake…” you whine, sliding your hands into his hair.

“Mmm?” he hums into you, his eyes slowly opening to find yours, heavy with lust. 

“More…” you beg, shuddering the slightest bit as you see how dark his eyes have become.

He gives you one more slow, long lap of his tongue, like he’s savoring it and committing the taste of you to memory. He stands from where he was kneeling and taps your thigh gently, wordlessly telling you to shift back up on the chaise. You scoot backwards and he follows, nestling himself between your legs, propped up on his palm. With the hand he isn’t using for balance, he frees himself from his briefs. He strokes himself once, but then lets himself go and you feel him against you, his cock heavy and hard, landing on the inside of your thigh with the softest sound. He pulls back slightly and when he pushes his hips forward again, he’s sliding through your folds, slick and lewd. It makes your cheeks hot.

“You’re so fucking wet…” he grunts, his voice strained like he’s in pain. “Just wanna feel you for a second…”

He lowers himself to bury his face in your hair, his breath hot as he pants, gently rutting his hips against you, his thrusts a little uncoordinated and desperate. 

“Everything’s just so fucking sensitive.” he says, his now boyish voice cracking as it’s muffled by the pillow behind your head. He wraps his arms tightly around you and under you, like he’s worried you’re about to float away. “Feels so good.”

With a deep breath he releases you, sliding his hand down to fist his base. As he presses the tip to your entrance his eyes lock on yours, wordlessly asking if you’re ready, and when you nod he starts to press forward. His eyes flick down to your center, watching as he slides into you. The stretch is noticeable, but you welcome it. You want it. His eyes flutter closed for just a second and you feel him stop his movement, not pressing into you fully. 

“Fuck, give me a second.” he pants, his chest heaving. 

You feel him try to slide in a little more, but again he’s holding back. 

“I think– I think you’re gonna have to take the reins here.” he admits. 

“What do you mean…”

“If I move a single inch more I won’t–” he pauses, shaking his head as he blows out a breath. “I just need you to be on top.” 

His eyes are pleading, searching yours, and you can’t possibly fathom the idea of ever denying him. 

“I’ll make it worth your while.” he offers, and you can’t help but give him a little smirk, nodding. He withdraws and gives you a little space to get up, ditching his underwear before taking your place. You gingerly climb over him, taking a moment to brush one of the strands of hair that frames his face out of the way. He gives you a soft, lazy smile, his eyes barely open as he welcomes your gentle touch. 

His hand reaches between the two of you as he lines himself up, and you waste no time lowering yourself onto him, savoring how full he makes you feel. Intending to fly right out of the gates you lift your hips again, but he slowly settles you down, a soft hum rumbling through him. 

“That’s it. Yeah… Lean back for me?” he coaches, and you do as he asks without a second thought. His warm hand brushes down your abdomen until his thumb makes contact with your clit to rub gentle circles while his lidded eyes are open just a sliver to stare intently at where your bodies are meeting. His pink lips are parted slightly, his breathing shallow. You can’t help the wanton moan that escapes your throat at the sight paired with his careful touch.

“Rest your hands on my knees. I won’t let you fall.” he instructs, letting his free hand slide up your thigh. You do as he says, leaning back onto his knees, allowing you to take him a little deeper. “Just like that, baby. Fuck…” 

You roll your hips in figure eights, feeling him brush against that sensitive place inside you, eliciting a whine from your chest. 

“Yeah? Right there?” he asks, eyes flicking up to meet yours. “You stay just like that. Let me take over.” 

He brings his foot up to rest on the cushion, giving himself a little more leverage. His hand firmly grips into your hip as he forcefully flicks his hips and fucks up into you. You gasp as he hits that spot, like he knew where it was the whole time. His thumb never relenting in its work on your clit.

“Yeah, damn. That’s it isn’t it, sweetheart? You feel so good like this... You just keep squeezin’ me, just like that.”

The force of his thrusts cause his silver chain to work its way up his body and into the crook of his neck. Your attention is quickly drawn to the metal coins rattling together with each thrust. 

“M’gonna cum…” you warn him so he can decide whether or not to back off, but he just groans and keeps his motions steady. You can’t breathe when it hits you, nor can you help the way you fall forward, gasping for breath. Steadying yourself with weak arms, you grasp at the plush comforter underneath him.

“Fuck me that’s tight,” he groans. “Fuck.” He grabs your wrists on either side of his head for leverage, thrusting up into you so hard you see stars. It’s like your vision goes white as your chest heaves and you meet your end, crying out a desperate wail of his name.

“Slow down for me now, baby.” he coos as you tremble and try to catch your breath. You nod, taking all of him slowly with each roll of your hips. Looking down at him, you can tell he’s struggling to keep it together. Something about the way he’s dewy with sweat, his chest rising and falling, his hair sticking to his face… It makes your head spin. You watch his stoned eyes rolling back each time you take him so deeply the head of his cock brushes against the deepest part of you and it’s almost too much to bear. 

He grips your hips suddenly, inhaling sharply. You freeze, knowing what he’s getting at, and you feel him twitch inside you. His brow is knitted up in concentration and a whine leaves his perfect, heart-shaped lips. 

“Goddamn… you feel too good. I can’t– I can’t hold it, fuck…” he babbles, his voice pitched higher than you’ve heard it all night. Before you can say a word, he continues on. 

“Can I do it inside? Please, baby, can I? Pl– oh, god, please? Wanna cum inside you so bad, so fucking bad… Can I? Baby–” 

“Do it.” you urge, desperate to give him anything he wants in this very moment. 

“Yeah?” he gasps. 

“Yeah, do it. Please. I need it…” you whine, squeezing him with everything you have one last time. 

“Oh fuck…” he groans, his grip on your hips tightening as he pulls you down and holds you in place as he pumps into you. “God damn, fuck me…” he cries out, grunting with each pulse inside you. His brows are furrowed and his eyes screwed shut before finally letting out a deep breath and slowing his hips. 

His chest is heaving and a sheen of sweat covers his tanned skin. His hand moves from your hips, swiping the sweaty hair from his forehead. You lift to your knees, knowing exactly why his eyes are still trained on the place the two of you meet. He wants to see his work.

As you lift up, you feel his release start to stream out of you and back down onto his cock. A huff of pride leaves his chest, his tongue swiping out over his bottom lip before biting it between his teeth. 

“Should we clean up?” he asks, watching the hot white streams drip down to his base. 

“I’m working on it...” you say softly, lifting off of him completely and dropping to your knees. You plant your hands on either side of his hips, arching your back and pressing your ass into the air as you lower your mouth over his cum covered cock. 

“Fuck…” he groans, watching your lips slide down his length.

Closing your lips over his base, you take him as far into your throat as you can, sucking his release from his skin as you work your way up, dragging your tongue over his every inch. You can feel him growing hard again as you reach the tip, lapping and circling your tongue around the sensitive skin. You drop down to his base again, but this time you feel his hand grip into your hair, holding you there as his hips jerk forward, propelling him further down your throat. 

“Look at me.” he demands, and you flick your watery eyes up to meet his. 

You gag around him and he releases your hair, his eyes dark and filled with desire. “Mmm…Yeah, fuck. We’re gonna revisit this...” he says, eyes fixed on you as you pull off of him with a pop. “Just needed to see how pretty you look with my cock down your throat.”

You can’t stop the tiny gasp that escapes you as you shoot him a playfully shocked grin. You blink once, raising your brows. 

“We have a lot to revisit. Where did that come from?” You ask through a laugh, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. He chuckles, handing you your shirt. 

“Sorry, sorry. The edible’s wearing off.” He says with a smirk, attempting to get himself off the couch. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Jake shows you to the bathroom, then disappears into his bedroom while you freshen up. When you emerge, re-dressed and significantly less sticky, he hears your footsteps and comes out to meet you in the hallway. The two of you smile at each other, feeling the THC and endorphins and feelings starting to settle like you’re standing in a snowglobe.

“I'm glad you came over. Sorry I Jake’d you for a few hours.” He says softly, and there’s some jingling coming from his bedroom, which is probably Davy annoyed that you’re still lingering in his house. Jake hears it, reaching behind him to close his bedroom door without looking away from you.

“Jake’d me? Please don’t tell me that’s what you call–”

“NO, no, no. Oh, no. Getting ‘Jake’d’ is what my family calls it when I corner one of them into talking to me for an extended period of time about something they don’t really care about in excruciating detail.” He explains like he’s reading the definition from a textbook, a charming smile on his face. He seems a little embarrassed but at the same time, he sees the humor in it.

“Well I had a really great time.” you answer genuinely, pushing your hair behind your ear. “You can Jake me whenever you want.” You joke, a laugh bubbling out of you. You wiggle your eyebrows at him playfully and it coaxes a short, loud laugh out of him as well. 

“I just might take you up on that.” He says, and there’s a rosy tint to his cheeks even in the dim lighting of the hallway.

“You know where to find me...” 

As if he can tell you’re about to try and take your leave, he starts to walk past you and down the stairs. 

“...Have you ever watched those videos where they clean out old barns?”

–

The two of you ended up curled together on the chaise, tucked under his big comfy blanket. The exhaustion hits you all at once, and about 10 minutes in, you slip into a deep sleep, your head tucked into his shoulder, his arm around you, his hand gently scratching your scalp. 

Hours later, you wake up unsure where you are for a moment. As you shift a little, you feel there’s a heavy weight against you, which you soon realize is Jake’s leg. You’re no longer tucked underneath the giant duvet, a little sweaty, as Jake is asleep on his back. His hand is tucked into his sweatpants resting on his upper thigh, and you have to peel your eyes away once you spot the first sign of him half hard and half asleep. You can see his bold tan line and the slightest bit of hair through the gap he’s created. Sitting up, you try to search for a clock somewhere in the room or even your phone. Feeling around the chaise under you, you don’t find it. You look over on the other side of Jake hoping it’s there, but the only thing you find there is little Davy, curled into a ball and pressed against Jake’s back. 

Jake seems to feel you moving around and it wakes him, eliciting a raspy hum from his chest. He pulls you back in towards him, your back to his chest, and you feel him shaking his head against your shoulder.

“Morning,” you say through a breathy laugh, but at the sound of your voice, you hear the jingle of Davy’s collar and the tippy-taps of his feet as he runs as far away from you as humanly possible.

“Too early.” He grumbles, reaching blindly over his head to feel around for the curtains. When he doesn’t find them, he groans and gets up, tugging them closed tight. “Fuck. Slept with my contacts in.” He says, standing over you and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. He stretches his arms over his head, his tanline peeking out again, and you squeeze your eyes closed trying to keep your head on straight. He sighs deeply before sliding back onto the couch with you, pulling you tight to him. The two of you fall back asleep soon after, the only sound you hear is the clinking of Davy’s collar tag against his bowl and some quiet crunching.

–

When you wake again it’s from the feeling of Jake’s fingers moving against your hip. You stretch your legs out along the chaise, feeling the brush of his sweatpants against your legs. You roll your body towards him letting out a yawn. His eyes open, a little red from the dryness of sleeping with his contacts in, but as they fully open you’re once again pulled in by the dark brown irises. 

“Still too early?” you whisper, your morning voice thick with sleep. 

“Mmm, a bit, but I should probably get up. I’m sure my phone is just completely blown up by this point.” he groans, stretching his own legs out. “You sleep okay? We should’ve just moved to the bed earlier.”

“Actually this couch is pretty comfy, no complaints from me.” you smile, watching a grin spread across his own face. 

“Speaking of complaints, your snoring…” he trails off. 

“I don’t snore!” you admonish, playfully pushing off of his warm chest. 

“No, you don’t. I’m just kidding. You are warm though, but that’s not a complaint.” he growls, tossing the comforter off of both of you. He pushes himself up off of the couch, his sweatpants dangerously low on his hips. “Coffee? You drink coffee?” he asks, searching for his phone on the coffee table. “Or I can order something to the house, though there’s really only one good place that deliv–”

You send him a knowing look and he stops himself. 

“But you know that already because you live across the street.” he sighs. “So, coffee?”

“Coffee’s good.” you answer, looking for your own phone. 

“How do you like it? Sugar? Milk? I don’t know what I have but–”

“Just sugar is fine…” you smirk. 

He leans over the coffee table to grab his phone, stealing a kiss on his descent. 

“Hey!” you laugh.

“You said just sugar…” he grins, swiping his phone and disappearing into his kitchen. 

You stifle back the smile on your lips, and a morning you thought might be slightly awkward, feels like you’ve done it a million times. You pull on your cardigan, and run your fingers through your hair, straightening up the couch cushions, and repositioning the pillows. You’re finishing folding up his comforter as he walks into the room. 

“Ahh, you didn’t have to do that.” he says, placing your mug on the coffee table.

“No trouble, just cleaning up our mess.” you smile, tossing the folded comforter down onto the couch. 

“You seem to be rather good at that...” he smirks into his coffee mug. 

Your cheeks grow hot as you recall what he is referring to. You grab your mug from the table and take a few sips, finding that somehow it’s made exactly how you like it. 

You spot your keys under the coffee table, bending to grab them. “There they are. Always getting away from me.”

He chuckles as he takes his normal seat on the couch, crossing his leg over his knee. You stare at him, just enjoying his coffee on his couch and you want to ask him if you can see him again, but you don’t. You think back to what he told you last night, and decide against it. 

You place your empty mug on the table, and bite your lips together before looking at him. “Thank you– for the coffee, and everything. It was nice.” 

“Yeah, it was nice, wasn’t it? Same time next year?” he jokes, offering you a wink. 

“Oh yeah, I thought that was a given…” you say through a laugh, “I mean, if you’re home of course.”

You grab your phone and keys from the coffee table and stand, ready to make your way towards the front door. He joins you in standing, the mug still clasped in his hand.

“Yeah, you just never know, ya know? I mean, maybe we don’t even have to wait that long…” he laughs, taking another sip of his coffee with a shrug. 

“Yeah, I mean, you have my number…” You smile, twisting the front door knob. 

“That I do. I definitely do.” he pauses, as you pull the door open. “Hey wait, let me walk you home.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, it’s just right there…” you say nervously. 

“No, really. I want to. Just give me a sec.” he says, setting his mug on the entry table and rushing to grab a hoodie from his coat rack. He slides on a pair of dirty white Vans that have definitely seen better days, and opens the door further. “Alright, you ready?”

The two of you make your way through his front yard, giggling back and forth all the way to your front door as he quizzes you about the videos you watched last night. As you step up to your front porch mat you pull your keys from your cardigan pocket and start to unlock the door. 

“Thanks for walking me home. You’re such a gentleman…” you say, feigning romance. As you peek over his shoulder you see Davy sitting in the window, keeping a close eye on Jake. 

“Well of course, I couldn’t miss out on my kiss…” he smiles, a little dimple forming in his cheek. 

“What kiss…” you press, all the while secretly hoping for just one more. 

He grabs your waist and pulls you close to him, pressing his cold lips to yours. You can taste the remnants of coffee on his tongue, and as he pulls away his lips linger just a second longer. 

A hum leaves his lips as he steps back. “That kiss.” He says, stepping backwards off of your porch, taking a few steps before turning to head back to his house. As you step inside your front door you look over your shoulder at the same time as he does, throwing his hand up from inside his hoodie pocket to offer you a two finger wave. 

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you close the door behind you, and you feel like positively melting into the ground over the night you just shared with Jake. As you peek out the window you see Davy gone from his patrol post, and you smile knowing he’s definitely happy to have Jake all to himself again.

—

As you scrub away the remnants of the night before, you can’t help but to remember the way his hands felt as they moved across your body. So warm and so intentional, even in his intoxicated state. You wonder if he enjoyed himself as much as you did, and if he’s thinking about it just as much as you are. You think back to every other Valentine’s day you’ve ever had, and not a single one holding a candle to the night you just spent across the street with your neighbor. 

You hear your phone buzz on the bathroom counter as you turn the shower off, wrapping yourself in a towel as you pick it up from the countertop. Your heart leaps in your chest as you see his name flash across your screen.

Jake - Neighbor

12:04pm: Probably should have watched the first one before the sequel. 😉

12:04pm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWDf_CEkpoU&t=1382s

You quickly hit the link, watching as it directs you to youtube, pulling up yet another Rig Rundown video. This one is much older than the one you saw last night, and as you lean against the bathroom counter the intro music starts to play. You’re met with a much younger looking version of Jake, in a sweater and a bucket hat, looking bright and eager to talk about his craft. 

You quickly head towards your kitchen, pulling your own stash of gummies from your pantry. You pluck one of the small black bags from the basket and snap a photo as you pull up your texts and attach it to a message with a giggle. 

You

12:10pm: Should I take one of these before I watch it? 

12:10pm: By the way, love the bucket hat… 😉

You make your way back to your bedroom, dressing yourself in lounge clothes, knowing you’ll probably spend the rest of the day relaxing and catching up on your shows. Satisfied with your outfit you grab your phone to check for his response, only to be met with an empty screen. You sigh and make your way to the living room, flopping down onto your couch with your leftover take out from the night before, pressing play on the TV. 

You try not to think about the man across the street and what he’s probably doing. You know he must be into something since he has yet to respond to your message. That or he has no intention of ever speaking to you again. 

Feeling frustrated that it’s probably the latter, you toss your phone to the other side of the couch, catching a glance out your window. Your eyes snap to his driveway, seeing another car taking up the space next to his. Who the hell is at his house?

You stand up and make your way over to the window, taking a closer look at the white Jeep parked next to his car. You’ve never noticed it before…Or have you? You start to wrack your brain for the times you’ve even seen another car at his house, but you come up short. Never really caring before today. 

You sit back down on the couch and start the next episode of your show, feeling the soreness from the prior night's activities starting to settle into your muscles. You grab a throw blanket and your favorite pillow and snuggle down into the couch cushions, ready to nap away your troubles, and hoping to wake up to a new message in your inbox. 

A knock on the door startles you awake. You grab your phone and see that you’ve slept quite a few hours, and it’s now nearly 6:00pm.

You stand up and run your hands through your hair to combat the bedhead, clearing your throat as you reach for the door knob. Standing on the other side of your door is Jake, looking like he is fresh from the shower, as his damp hair lays long over his shoulders. You can smell his body wash wafting off of him and you practically melt into the door frame. 

“Did I wake you up? Did you actually take that gummy?” he laughs, pulling his hands from his pockets. 

“Oh, no. I didn’t. I just… I guess I was a little more tired than I thought.” you blush, trying to play it cool, and not like you’ve been thinking about him since the moment he left this morning. 

“Sorry I forgot to respond. My brother came over and I couldn’t get him to leave.” he laughs.  

His brother.

“Oh, it’s no problem. I was in and out of sleep all day anyways.” you lie. 

“So…” he pauses, taking a breath as he reaches into his pocket. “I may have acquired something a bit better than what we had last night.” he says holding a small black bag in his palm. 

“I don’t know, I kind of liked what we had last night.” you quip, a little smirk on your lips. 

“Mhmm, I know you did.” he smiles, sliding his hands back into his trouser pockets. 

“I don’t know if you had plans tonight or anything…” he trails off, kicking his foot against your doormat. “But I was thinking about watching this video I saw about how to make a barbecue smoker out of a filing cabinet. Really riveting stuff…”

His big brown eyes flash up to yours in question and you feel that flame in your chest reignite. You’re already eager at the thought of spending another night like last night. You knew right then that it wouldn’t matter if it was a filing cabinet smoker or a centuries old shipwreck, there was suddenly nothing more important than watching whatever it may be, with him. So with a shy smile, and the tap of your fingers against your chin you meet his gaze. 

“You know, I really have been meaning to look into that…”

Taglist: @ageofcj @britney-gvf @bladenotblaze @gretavanfan @peaceloveunitygvf @highway-tuna @anythingforjtk @klarxtr @itsafullmoon @myleftsock @gretavanmoon @aflame4goinghome @ascendingtothestarssasone @jjwasneverhere @sparrowofrhiannon @gvfstuddedmajesty @kiarraaldarondo @oliver-mf-reed @notjordie-gvf @starshine-wagner @starcatcherchords @sadiechar @spark-my-nature @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @mackalah @stardustofman @eyelinerjake @farfromthehomelands @abby-gvf @writingcold @fleet-of-fiction @stardustjake @sinarainbows @gvfsstardust @ageoflou @jarmonicasweat @jakekiszkasmommy @bubblyjake @jakeygvf21 @starrymoonslut @takenbythemadness @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @m0uthfl13s @floatinglikeaswan @bri-archer @Mama.likes72

[gretavangroupie]

Errant

Word count: 16.0k

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Fighting, Name Calling, Toxic Themes and Behavior, Allusions to Cheating, Jealousy, Anger, Gaslighting. Smut: Kissing, Touching, Oral M!Receiving, Fingering, Oral F!Receiving, Dirty Talk, Degradation, Slight Masochism, Slight Humiliation Kink, Spanking, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex. Fluff.

A/N: Hey! Welcome back for the third installment of the four part Valentine's Day Mini Series I've been working on along with my best pal, @sacredstarcatcher! We've had so much fun writing these, and we hope that you enjoy Josh's story! This may not be everyones cup of tea, so make sure you read the warnings! There's only one left now, and we can't wait to share Jake's story with you! See you real soon!

JOSH POV

You sit on the exam table, gently swinging your feet as the doctor scribbles on his prescription pad. The paper underneath you crinkles, your clammy hands getting stuck to it. 

“It’s looking like the perforation is healing, but I’m going to give you some antibiotics and ear drops. You’ll take the antibiotics for 10 days and the drops for 5.” He tears off the prescription and hands it to you. “Just be sure you aren’t drinking and you avoid getting any water in or around your ears.”

You scrunch up your nose when you hear the pointed reminder not to drink. 

“Thank you, doc. I’ll be on my best behavior.” You joke, hopping down from the table. Your sneakers squeak as you stick the landing. 

Navigating through the back halls of the ENT practice, you follow the signs that direct you to the check-out. It’s eerily quiet as you walk through the waiting room and out of the front doors. The sun nearly blinds you when you get outside, so you lift your hand to block it out while you search for your girlfriend’s car. 

Spotting her a few rows into the parking lot, you walk in her direction, knocking softly on the window once you’re close enough. She unlocks the door and you slip inside, the car next to her parked a little too close. She sighs, shifting from park to drive while you buckle your seatbelt.

“How was it?” she asks, her enthusiasm lacking. You look over at her as she cranes her neck to check that the way is clear before she pulls out of her parking spot.

“Well, it was fine.” You take a deep breath before continuing. “I have to take antibiotics and put in ear drops for a few days, so you might have to help me with that. I can keep taking the pain meds that the doctor I originally saw prescribed, but the pain should subside as I heal.” 

She nods, keeping the radio volume low. The only time she doesn’t sing in the car is when she’s upset, and you know the song currently playing is one of her favorites. So, you seal your fate and ask the dreaded question in every relationship.

“What’s wrong?” 

She huffs and thinks for a moment before she answers. 

“You know it’s Valentine’s day, right?” 

“Oh. Yeah, I guess it is.” You’ve never put much stock in the holiday and you didn’t think she did either. The last two years, you hadn’t ever done more than get her some flowers or chocolates delivered, mostly because you weren’t around.

“I just… I don’t know, it’s the first one we’ve been able to spend together and we’re spending the day going to the doctor and the pharmacy…”

“Oh, so you’re mad that you had to bring me to the doctor?” you ask, a little defensive now. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Josh. I’m just saying I wish we were doing more than running errands.” She speaks curtly to you, and honestly, it’s a little condescending.

“It’s a made up holiday anyway. I’ve never bought into all the hearts and candy and bullshit. I didn’t think you did either.” You rest your head on your hand, looking out the window as she drives a little too fast down the freeway.

“It’s not about that. You’re not getting it.” she snaps, her tone whiny and frustrated.

“Listen. I had my assistant send you chocolate covered strawberries to your office. I don’t really know what else you want from me.” you bite back. You’ve had enough of this argument and want to be home already so you can take something for your pain and try to get some rest. 

“I didn’t even know that, seeing as I had to call out and use a sick day to take you to the doctor.” she says, and you feel your scalp get hot, your temper flaring.

“So you are mad you had to bring me to the doctor.” 

“I just don’t understand what a ruptured eardrum has to do with driving!” she says, her voice raising a bit. “You didn’t take your pain meds this morning so you technically would have been fine to drive… I just don’t appreciate that I had to use my PTO on Valentine’s day and all I’m doing is driving Miss Daisy.” 

“I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m in a lot of fucking pain.” you grit out, and she scoffs a laugh.

“Yeah. I’ve heard.” 

You know you’re about to lose it, so you close your eyes for a moment, gathering your composure. Unfortunately, she just keeps going.

“I thought I was going to spend my Valentine’s day getting bitten and scratched by your brother’s awful fucking cat, but now that you’re all home, I get to spend my evening dealing with you while you’re miserable and in pain, and I’m not sure which is worse.” 

“You act like I’m home on some vacation… I have a work function tomorrow even if I’m not out at the shows, so–”

“Are you kidding me?! You somehow have MORE obligations now that you’re home? I guess I’m the fool for thinking we would have more than a few hours to spend together.” She cuts the wheel and turns sharply into your driveway. You grab the handle of the door and grumble under your breath at the way she’s driving like a maniac.

“Look, it’s not like I asked to go. Jake and Danny did the last one, so now Sam and I are stuck going tomorrow. It’s supposed to be nice. It’s a fancy thing, dinner and drinks. I figured you would be my date.” 

You watch her turn off the car and think for a moment, the word “date” appealing to her a little bit, which is exactly what you had hoped.

“Come on. I missed you and I feel like shit and you’re… you’re all prickly. Can’t we just have a nice night in? I’ll make it up to you. I just want to take a nap.”

She seems to be thinking about it as she gets out of the car. You unbuckle your seatbelt and follow suit, walking around to her side and reaching for her hand. Tugging her closer, you wrap your other arm around her shoulders and kiss her on the side of her head with some force. 

“Okay, okay…” she relents, leaning in to you. 

“I love you. You’re still my Valentine, right?” you ask, nuzzling your nose into her hair and squeezing her tighter. It works up a little giggle out of her, which means you’re in the clear. 

“I guess so. You didn’t even ask me.” 

You squeeze her again, this time digging your fingertips into her sides to tickle another laugh out of her. 

“It was on the card that came with the strawberries, obviously.” you quip, peppering her cheek and neck in kisses while she continues to soften up. 

“Oh, get out of here. Go take your damn nap.” she says with a smile, turning you by the shoulders towards the house and pushing gently. 

—

HER POV

You hear the soft padding of feet upstairs and the whip of the flat sheet as your bed is remade, pulling your attention away from your computer screen as you send off emails. The sun is set now, the room cast in darkness, and you figure Josh has slept off the fatigue that was a result of his medications. You gently close your computer, setting it next to you on the couch as you hear his feet walking slowly down the stairs. You turn to lay eyes on him, looking a little worse for wear in his low slung joggers, but still glowing as usual. 

“Hey baby, you feel any better?” you ask, resting your chin on the back of the fluffy leather couch cushion. 

“No. Not really, but it’s fine.” he pauses, reaching the landing and walking up to the back of the couch. He pulls his phone from his pocket and checks the time, “You want to get ready, we can go grab dinner?” he asks, running a hand over his messy curls. 

“I would love to, but are you sure you want to?” you ask, a little surprised that he actually wants to go out. 

“Yeah, I have to eat with these antibiotics.” he says, pushing off the couch, and heading into the kitchen. “How long do you need to get ready?”

“Um, I don’t know, twenty minutes or so?” you answer, standing quickly and grabbing your phone from the coffee table. 

“Alright, I’ll be up there to change in a minute.”

You take the stairs two at a time, rounding the corner into your bedroom, and dashing into the closet. You finger through your hangers searching for the perfect outfit, the idea not occurring to you that you’d need one since he wasn’t even supposed to be home for Valentine’s day this year. 

You pull a dark burgundy top from the hanger, the thick sweater material perfect for the cold snap that has swept over Nashville this week. You pull your t-shirt over your head and put it on while reaching for a pair of dark wash jeans. After shimmying into the denim pants, you find a pair of heels, kicking off your socks and securing the buckle at your ankle. 

You make a mad dash into the bathroom, doing a quick version of your normal make up and running a curling iron through your hair. You’re spraying your wrist with his favorite perfume just as you see him walk past the bathroom door and into the closet. You can hear him changing clothes, grabbing his coat and pulling it over his arms as he steps into the bathroom and meets your gaze in the mirror. 

“Wow, uh, you know it’s freezing out, right? Actually, colder than freezing.” he says, adjusting his sleeves. 

“Yeah, I’ll grab my coat from the closet down stairs, no big deal.” you answer, walking towards him and shutting off the bathroom light. 

“You sure you want to wear heels?” he asks, as he ushers you downstairs, a lilt in his voice.

You open the coat closet, grabbing your jacket and pulling it over your arms. “Yeah, why not?”

He throws his hands up, “Just asking…”

You grab your purse from the kitchen counter, following his lead out to the car. He makes a point to open your car door, shutting it behind you before skittering across the front of the car to join you. 

With the turn of his keys, his Jeep roars to life, his fingers quickly pressing the buttons to turn on the heat. He puts the car in reverse, backing up enough to turn around in the driveway, the gravel crunching beneath his tires. He lays his hand over top of yours on your thigh, clasping your hand in his. He licks over his lips and turns to look at you. 

“Hey,” he pauses, waiting until he has your attention. You let your eyes meet his, before he refocuses on the road. “I’m sorry about earlier… I just have a short fuse when I’m in pain. Thank you for taking me today, and thanks for taking care of me.”

“Oh, it’s– it’s okay, I know you don’t feel good. Don’t worry about it, baby. We’re here now, right?” you say, offering him a lopsided smile.

He pats your thigh as he drives down the road, leading you into town as he mouths the words to the songs playing through the speakers. Your heart flutters as you look at him, your head tilting back to rest on the headrest, just happy to be with him, and happy that he changed his mind about doing something tonight. 

You’re quickly pulled from your daydreams as he whips the car into the parking lot of Phil’s Tavern, a local spot that is not exactly known for its phenomenal cuisine, sitting a whopping 5 minutes away from your home. You sit up a little straighter, making sure you’re seeing this right, and that he really is parking the car. 

“Phil’s…” you question, turning to look at him. 

“...Yeah? Did you want something else…?” he asks, as if annoyed you’d question his decision.

“You said– You– I thought we were going to dinner, not picking up sandwiches from the fucking neighborhood bar?!” you shout. 

“I’m not getting a sandwich. I’m getting soup. You can get whatever you want.” he says, pulling his keys from the ignition, and opening his door. 

A huff leaves your mouth as your jaw hangs slack, watching in shock as he shuts the door behind himself and makes his way to yours. He opens yours and offers you a hand to step down, but you’re still sitting in shock that this is his idea of a romantic Valentine’s day date. 

“Josh…” you admonish, looking down at your heels and sweater. 

“What? I asked you if you wanted to wear that and you said yes!” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah! I didn’t think we were going to fucking Phil’s, Josh! It’s Valentine’s Day! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there aren’t a lot of cars in the parking lot?!”

He clicks his tongue, and looks around. “Perfect, then we have the place to ourselves.”

Your eyes close on their own and you take a deep breath to keep yourself from having a meltdown. You grab your purse from the floorboard and grab his hand, stepping out of the car and snatching it away from him as soon as your feet hit the gravel.

He shuts the door behind you and locks the car, the two of you walking quickly into the dimly lit bar and grill. You walk up to the counter to order, watching as the bartender throws back a shot with the guys at the end of the bar. You catch his attention and he rushes over to the order counter pulling a pen out of his pocket. “What can I get ‘cha?”

“Hey man, can we uh– I’ll take the soup of the day, whatever it is is fine.” 

“It’s ahh, it’s Chicken Tortilla.” he answers. 

“Yeah, that’s great, thanks.” he answers, pulling his wallet from his pocket. “Babe?” he murmurs, wanting you to order. 

“Okay, I’ll do a Cuban, extra pickles.” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. 

He nods, “Outta Cuban bread, sorry sweets.” 

“Okay I’ll do the Italian then.” you concede, watching him scribble it down on the notepad.

“You want that hot or cold?” he asks. 

“Hot.”

“Think our press is down, but I can check.” he says, turning to shout towards the kitchen.

“It’s down, is cold fine?” he asks, him and Josh both staring at you. 

“Fuck.” you mutter under your breath. “Yes, fine.”

“$17.97.” he says, ringing the service bell for the staff. Josh swipes his card through the card reader and puts it back into his wallet, placing it back in his pocket before thanking the man at the counter. 

“Oh shit, I didn’t tell him it’s to go. You don’t care if we take it home, right? It’s a little loud in here.” he doesn't give you a chance to answer before stepping back up to the window.

You pull your phone from your purse, opening Instagram to mindlessly scroll while you wait for your food, seeing story after story of the dates your friends are on, fueling your rage all the more. You didn’t care that you weren’t at a fancy restaurant. You didn’t care that you were having a sandwich. You cared that he seemingly didn’t care about how you were feeling. That it was just any other old day to him, simply because he didn’t subscribe to the holiday. But that didn’t mean you didn’t. You tried to see the bright side, that he was home, and that you were at least together, even if he was in a sour mood.

He steps back over to you, pulling his own phone from his pocket and sending a few texts. You can’t help but notice how carefree he is, completely unbothered and oblivious to how you’re feeling as you stand right next to him.  

“You wanna watch a movie or something when we get back?” he asks, putting his phone in his jacket pocket. 

“What movie?” you ask, raising a brow.

“I don’t know, a documentary? We can find something, I’ll probably fall asleep watching it anyways.”

You huff out a laugh, “Of course. Yeah, whatever you want Josh.”

“What’s your deal tonight, Y/N, Jesus…”

You feel your blood boiling beneath your skin and just as you are about to unleash, the order bell rings and a brown paper bag is placed on the counter. Josh steps up and grabs it, pulling his car keys from his pocket and heading for the door, leaving you to follow behind him.

—

He pulls into the driveway rapidly, rocks flying as he throws the car into park. Shutting off the engine he pulls his keys from the ignition and grabs the brown paper bag from the center console. “Come on, let’s get inside. I’ll start the fireplace.”

You huff as you step out of the car, making your way up the walkway, pulling the sleeves of your coat over your hands. He unlocks the front door and places the to-go bag on the kitchen counter on his way to the living room.  

You take off your coat and hang it in the closet, pulling your foot up to release the buckles of your heels, letting you drop back down to your normal height. You can hear him mumbling in the living room, clearly having a hard time getting the fire lit. You walk into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of red wine off the top of the fridge, and searching around the junk drawer for the corkscrew. It’s no time at all before you’re popping the cork out of the bottle and pouring the Merlot into a bulbous green colored wine glass. 

He joins you in the kitchen, washing his hands in the sink before looking over at you, starting to take the first sip of your wine. “Really? You’re serious…”

“Serious, what? About this glass of wine? Yeah, I am.” you quip, swallowing down the first sip.

“You’re really gonna drink my favorite wine, right in front of me when you know I can’t have any? What are you playing at tonight, Y/N?” he seethes, pulling his plastic container of soup from the bag.

“What am I playing at? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that just because you can’t drink, meant that I had to follow suit! My mistake!” you shout, setting the glass down on the marble countertop maybe a little more forcefully than you should have. 

He shakes his head trying to rid the nasty thoughts you know are swirling around up there as he pulls a spoon from the utensil drawer. “Whatever, I’m gonna take this to the couch.”

You grab a plate from the cabinet in front of you, unwrapping your sandwich and placing it on the plate. You look over and see him tinkering with the TV remote, no doubt queueing up something the two of you have watched, studied, and rewatched a hundred times. You grab your wine glass and your plate and join him in the living room, setting your items on the coffee table before sitting at the opposite end of the couch. 

The tension in the air is thick, neither of you wanting to say anything for fear of it turning into yet another argument. So instead, he presses play on the remote, and as suspected, ‘Kubrick by Kubrick’ begins to play for the 77th time in this household.

“Josh, really…” you whine, your shoulders slumping in defeat. 

“I don’t want to get too invested in anything, I’m gonna pass out as soon as I finish this soup.” he answers, turning up the volume to effectively silence you.  

“Can’t we watch something, I don’t know… With a plot? With a shred of romance? That we haven’t seen a hundred times?” you barter, talking over the intro music.

“Can’t you just let me enjoy being home for once?” he snaps, pressing pause on the remote.

Your eyes dial in on his, and almost poetically, you’re positive he can see the reflection of the flames in the fireplace dancing across your infuriated eyes.

“For once…” you breathe, biting your tongue.  “Sure, sure. You uh– you just enjoy yourself, okay? I would hate to ruin your time at home with my presence.” you say, standing up from the couch with your wine glass in hand, leaving your sandwich laying there as you bound up the stairs. 

Before you even reach the top you hear the music blare back to life, and the slurping of the soup from his spoon. If you had a bedroom door you would slam it but fucking of course, you don’t.

You place your wine glass on your nightstand before walking into your closet ridding yourself of the wasted outfit. You pull a slinky black satin slip from your pajama drawer, dropping it over your bare body before padding back out to the bedroom to close the curtains. 

You draw back the fluffy flax colored duvet, thinking of nothing but positively melting into your olive green linen sheets; a Christmas splurge the two of you decided you couldn’t live without. Sinking down into the feather pillows you let out a sigh, finding yourself exactly where you expected to be tonight, before you ever knew Josh was coming home for a few days.

You settle in with your glass of wine and your kindle, reading love stories of men, who at this point, you were sure didn’t really exist. An hour or so later, when the wine was long gone, and the house had grown quiet you heard the front door lock, and the flick of the light switches downstairs. You switched off your lamp, hoping to avoid any further conversation for the night, placing your tablet on the nightstand and pulling the sheets up over your shoulders. 

His footfall is light as he pads up the wooden stairs, rounding the corner hesitantly as he catches sight of you in the bed. He slides his hand down the wall as he enters the room, walking quietly into the bathroom and shutting the door. You can hear the sink running and the sound of him tossing his clothes into the hamper as you close your eyes and will yourself to fall asleep.

It’s not long until you hear the door open and feel the dip in the bed as he slides in behind you, a  gentle sigh leaving his lips as he sinks into the sheets. You feel the brush of his knuckles as they glide up your spine. “I know you’re not asleep, my love…”

Knowing you’re caught, you turn softly to your back, “No, you don’t know. I could have been.”

A soft smile forms on his lips, a few misplaced curls falling over his forehead, “Not true. I know you fall asleep with your arms over your head every single night. And in the middle of the bed. You never sleep on your side of the bed.”

“Well maybe I want to tonight.” you quip, rolling back to your side and repositioning the sheets.

“Come on baby, don’t be like that.” he says, wrapping his arm around your waist. He pulls you towards him, his obviously nude body conforming to yours. You can feel him, hard against your back and you push away from him. 

“Josh…” you scold. 

“What, baby…” he asks, running his hand along the curve of your waist. “I miss you…”

“You didn’t an hour ago!” you sneer.

“Yes I did! I miss you all the time! Every single day I’m away from you. That’s why you moved in, remember? So I could spend every day with you when I’m home?” he pauses, “Every night like this?”

“Josh, I just– Tonight was… Well the entire day, really, was rough. I’m not exactly in a romantic mood at the moment.” you answer.

“Well that’s okay, you can just blow me instead.” he says, more of a demand than a question, his lips brushing against your shoulder. 

“Oh can I?! How generous of you to offer that to me! What a privilege!” you mock. “You really have earned it, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this myself!” you scorn, reaching for his hand and shoving it towards his dick. “Try that instead!”

“Goddamn you’re being such a bitch!” he seethes, throwing the duvet off of himself and snatching his phone from the nightstand. 

“Yeah! Happy Valentine’s day to you too, Josh!” you spit one last time as you watch him pull on a pair of boxers. He smooths his hand over his face and runs his tongue under his lips, looking at you one more time before stomping his way down the stairs. 

—

JOSH POV

It took you approximately fourteen seconds after you said it to know you fucked up. It took you two more seconds to realize there was no coming back from it, at least that’s what you deduced as you tossed and turned on the living room couch all night. You spent those sleepless hours racking your brain for ways you could fix this. You were a dick, admittedly, in pain or not, and she in no way deserved the way you treated her.

You pulled your sore body up from the couch, tossing the throw blanket over the arm as you made your way up the stairs. She was still sleeping, sprawled across the middle of the bed with your pillow hugged to her face. You wished you could take back what you said. You wished you had taken her somewhere nicer than Phil’s. You should have known that when you saw her in heels and smelled your favorite perfume. She dressed up for you. But you couldn’t see past your own selfish needs. You only cared about yourself and what you wanted. 

You kicked yourself the entire time you spent under the spray of the shower, knowing that of the three sporadic days you would spend at home with her, you’d let one go completely to shit. Then tonight, you’d spend the whole night schmoozing with label executives, where she would willingly stand in your shadow until it was time to go home. 

Unless…

A smile spread across your face as you formulated your plan, and as you shut off the water and wrapped a towel around your waist you hoped and prayed it would work. 

—

You rap your knuckles against the old wooden front door, peeking through the glass to see if there is any movement inside. It’s nearly noon and you know he’s in there, but whether or not he’s awake is the question. You shove your hands into your pockets, the cold air whipping through the porch a little too harshly for your liking. 

You hear his footsteps bounding down the stairs and you see him appear through the glass, a strange look on his face as he opens the door. 

“If you’re on my doorstep, you want something that a text wouldn’t cover.” he says, raising a brow.

“Can I not come visit my twin?” you ask, pushing past him into his warm house.

“No, I think your last words to me when we left the airport were ‘Fuck off, don’t call me, I’ll see you in three days’, but I could be mistaken.” he says, shutting the front door. 

“Listen…” you counter, flopping yourself down onto his couch with a huff.

He stands across the living room with his hands on his hips and a small smile on his lips. There’s something different about him, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Almost like a little bit of life has been breathed into him. 

“Why do you look different…” you ask, the intrusive thought pushing through.

“I don’t.” he says, putting his hands on his hips. His eyes flick up to the window behind you, before looking back at you. 

You cut your eyes at him, you can tell he’s not telling the truth but you let it go because you have more important issues to deal with. 

“I need a favor.” you say, cutting right to the chase. 

He raises his eyebrows signaling for you to continue. 

“I need you to go to this event tonight in my place, I–”

“No.” he shouts, cutting you off. 

“Jake, please. Y/N and I got in a huge fight and I have to make it up to her and I can’t if I have to go to this fucking thing tonight.” you explain, giving him the shortened version. 

“No. Actually, my answer is not only no, but fuck no.” Jake stood with his arms crossed across his chest. You let your head flop back onto his couch, a groan leaving your chest. 

“You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t fucking dire.” You plead. “I fucked up, and I have to make it right. Please Jake…”

“Jesus Christ, it’s Thanksgiving all over again. You know Josh, if you and Y/N didn’t fight like this every other day, I might be more willing to consider it. One day you’re gonna fuck around and lose her for good.” he says, shaking his head and rubbing his hand over his chin. “Hold on, you two fought on Valentine’s day? Fuckin’ poetic. What did you do, buy the wrong flowers? The wrong chocolates?”

“No, I… Didn’t get her flowers.” you mumble, hoping he didn’t hear you. 

“Okay, so no flowers. Did you take her out to dinner or something?” he asks, tilting his head.

“No, I mean, well, kind of.” you mumble again. “Didn’t really think about it.”

“Where did you take her Josh.” he demands, crossing his arms again. 

“We went to Phil’s…And got…To-go…” you answer, realizing again as you say it out loud how bad it sounds. 

“The fucking sandwich place Josh, you’re kidding me…” he spits, starting to pace around the room. 

“Don’t act all high and mighty Jacob, you sat home alone...” you retort, knowing this isn’t helping your case.

He lifts his finger to you, pointing at you with a scowl, “Fuck you. Also, it sounds like she was justified. Didn’t she take you to the doctor yesterday? Hasn’t she been catering to your ass since we’ve been back?”

“Yeah.” you answer. 

“And you didn’t plan a single thing at all…” he confirms. 

“Correct.” you say, over enunciating the ‘T’.

“Asshole.”

“Okay, so you agree, I fucked up and need to fix this.” you say, gesturing with your hands. “So go to the event tonight in my place and let me smooth things over with Y/N tonight.”

“Sorry, but I can’t. I have plans.” he answers, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Plans?! With who? You don’t leave your house!” you shout, seeing a blur of black fur and claws tear across the living room. “Jesus, I always forget you have that thing.”

“Yeah, I’m not keeping it.” he says, shaking his head. “And it’s none of your business. You’re going to that event. The label doesn’t care if you’re in a fight with your girlfriend. They are expecting you, and you are who they’re gonna get. Plus, Sam will be there so you don’t have to do all the talking. Take her with you, lay it on thick, and take her home. Things will blow over like they always do and you’ll be back to your 2AM facetime gushy bullshit in no time.”

“Fuck…” you sigh, laying down across his couch. “I just don’t think it’s gonna go that way. This was a bigger fight than usual.” you say, feeling your phone vibrating in your pocket. You pull it out to see your timer flashing, indicating it is time for your next dose of antibiotics. 

You reach into your other pocket, pulling out the loose pill, and grabbing the glass of water you assume to be Jake’s from the coffee table. You swallow down the pill as he watches in contempt, checking the time on his phone. 

“Do you need anything else?” he asks, pacing around his living room. 

“No. Guess fuckin’ not. What are you getting into today?” you ask, relaxing back into the cushions. 

“I have… some errands to run. And a few other things.” he says, dismissively. 

“Errands and a few other things? Who the fuck are you…” you ask, stretching your legs out on to the coffee table.

“I was about to take a shower, are you staying or going?” he asks, and as you lay your head back on the couch your eyes start to feel heavy.

“Just gonna rest my eyes for a minute.” you answer, getting more comfortable. 

“Goddamnit, Josh… Okay, but you’re leaving when I do.”

—

The sound of the front door closing is what wakes you, and as you come to you see Jake standing in front of you with grocery bags, clearly back from his errands. 

“Well, good morning.” he says, his tone a little snipped. 

“Shit, what time is it?” you ask, pulling your phone from your pocket and checking the time. Fuck. 

“Yeah, time for you to go the fuck home and get ready.” he says, making his way into the kitchen. 

“Alright, I’m outta here, good luck with your… plans…” you smirk, making your way to the door. 

“Don’t need luck, but sounds like you do. Fix it, Josh.” he says, pushing you out the front door and slamming it behind you. 

—

HER POV

As you leave the house, you think back on how many hours it’s been since you spoke to Josh. He popped into the bedroom when he got home and let you know that you had to leave by 6 to get to the event on time, but you don’t really count that as a conversation. You hadn’t actually exchanged words since your argument before bed. 

The two of you sit in complete silence as he drives, the radio turned down so low it’s barely audible. You hold your jacket close around you, unable to shake the chill from the awful cold snap plaguing Nashville. 

As you arrive, Josh quickly gets out of his Jeep, jogging around to your door to open it and offer you a hand to step out. You accept it, begrudgingly, and steady yourself on the asphalt. You opted for smaller heels tonight, a little scorned from the night before. You look at him and see his slightly forced smile under the streetlight. He’s in his favorite brown suit, his hair in perfect curls, three tiny, metallic dots painted on the apples of his cheeks. He looks sinfully good, and if you weren’t so upset with him, you’d kiss him square on the lips.

“I know you don’t want to be here. Just… at least try to smile in the pictures, okay?” He says, a hopeful lilt to his voice. 

You give him a little side-eye before starting to walk towards the front doors of the venue. He catches up with you after locking the car, his hand landing on your upper back as he ushers you into the front door he’s holding open for you.

The two of you wait in line for the coat check, your eyes scanning the lobby for anyone you may know. You don’t recognize anyone, so you shuffle ahead in line and keep your coat pulled tight around you. Once you’re a bit further up in line, almost to the front, you hear a familiar voice. 

“Heeeeey guys!” 

Sam’s arms wrap around both of you from behind, pulling you into a forced group hug. He unintentionally cuts the entire coat check line to stand with you and Josh.

“Hi Sammy,” you mumble, giving him a halfhearted smile. He looks to Josh, who forces a grin, his nose scrunching up in a way that makes it clear to Sam that the two of you aren’t getting along. It’s nothing new to Sam, so he shrugs it off. 

The line moves again and you’re finally at the front. A friendly young girl is standing behind the podium at the entry to the closet, a few guys running back and forth to take coats and put them in their assigned spots. She offers the three of you a smile as she looks down and tears a tab in half. 

“Can I take your coat, sir?” she asks Josh as you start to shrug your own off your shoulders.

“Ohoho, trying to get me out of my clothes, young lady? I just walked in the door!” he says, like he’s some sort of comedian. You roll your eyes so hard you think they may fall out of your head and fold your coat over your arm. She laughs, her cheeks turning pink as she accepts your coat instead. She dutifully hands the coat to the boy behind her, then offers the other half of the ticket up, between you and Josh for either to grab it.

“And now you’re trying to give me your number?” he jokes with a charismatic grin, seeing the number 107 on your ticket. She lets out a shameless giggle at that one and you can’t help but shake your head and walk away, uninterested in hearing any more of his god awful jokes. You arrived in a terrible mood and he’s already managed to make your night worse.

Passing through the entrance to the cocktail hour, you grab a glass of champagne and thank the server. Taking a big sip, you look behind you and see Sam and Josh approaching, Josh talking animatedly with his hands to Sam, but Sam is looking straight ahead. At you. 

His eyes scan over your figure- you’re in a champagne satin mini-dress. The cowl neckline is loose, but the waist pulls in due to the lace-up back. The shimmery color is brought to life under the light right above where you’re standing. Sam isn’t listening to a single word Josh is saying, just nodding and staring at you from a distance as his steps slow. 

It’s then that you cook up a terrible idea, if not the worst you’ve ever had. If Josh wants to treat you like he doesn’t care about you and put more romantic energy into the coat check girl than he’s shown you in days, you may as well give him a taste of his own medicine. Right?

Sam eventually pulls his eyes away from your body, nodding cluelessly at Josh. He can’t help it and looks back at you again, but this time, Josh’s gaze follows his. You sip your champagne, ignoring the way Josh’s eyebrows raise in surprise as his neck cranes forward slightly. You can read his lips as he says, “Jesus Christ.” and look away without giving him a reaction. 

The two of them make their way over to the high top cocktail table you’ve claimed as your own. Josh clears his throat and musters up the courage to speak to you. His voice sounds like it might crack. 

“I’ve never seen that dress. Where’d you get it?” he asks, giving you another once-over now that he’s closer.

“You sent it to me while you were in Paris for my birthday.” you answer dryly. “Or was that your assistant too?” 

He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, realizing he’s just dug himself a little bit deeper. 

“Come to think of it, Josh, have you ever bought me a gift yourself? Or do you just send the people that work for you on errands to ship me fancy baubles to keep me quiet and occupied while you’re away?” 

He steps a little closer to you, lowering his voice. 

“Do we have to do this here?” he pleads. “I’m sorry I didn’t remember. You look beautiful. Okay? Let me go get you a drink. What do you want?” 

You cut your eyes to Sam, who seems to be trying to occupy himself by staring up at the ceiling. Letting out a big sigh, you mumble back a tired, “Champagne,” to Josh. 

He nods and walks off, heading for the bar. In the meantime, you look at Sam, who’s giving you a nervous smile. 

“Sorry. It’s been… a rough few days.” You confess. “This ear thing has turned him into a jackass.” 

“Oh, yeah. He complained the whole way home.” Sam says, commiserating. 

“So it’s not just me?!” You laugh, Sam joining you. 

“No no. Not just you.”

You notice Josh is on his way back and decide to test the waters. Reaching forward, you step closer to Sam and adjust the collar of his shirt under his suit jacket, your touch lingering as you let your hand brush down the front of his chest before tugging his jacket into place and pulling your hands back to yourself. You’re in close proximity, so you look up at him with a little bat of your eyelashes. 

“Oh. Thank you!” He says, a little caught off guard, but he’s Sam, and he’s friendly, and you know he’s going to let you get away with it. 

Josh appears and somehow squeezes his arm between you and Sam, placing your champagne on the table. He’s noticed the mischievous glint in your eye and it’s game on. 

The event starts to pick up, more and more people roping Josh into conversations. It’s obvious that he’s the more recognizable of the two brothers there tonight, so you find yourself left standing with Sam on more than a few occasions. 

“Did you trim your hair?” You ask him, reaching out to twirl the end of his shiny brown locks around your finger. He chuckles softly, feeling a little bashful. Josh is at your side but deep in conversation with a man you’ve never seen in your life.

“Yeeaaaaah, I did, it was getting a little unruly. Just trying to keep it healthy. I’m surprised you noticed.” 

“Of course I noticed, Sammy. Some people may not notice you. But I always do.” Your voice is syrupy sweet. You feel a nudge from the other side of you and Josh is clearly eavesdropping, his brain working overtime as he nods at the gentleman talking his ear off while also listening to you and Sam. Sam doesn’t notice and gives you a soft laugh, shrugging. His cheeks are tinted a little pink. He’s too easy. 

“Why don’t we go find our table for dinner, hm?” Josh suggests, cutting his conversation short, which is just not in his character. You finish your last sip of champagne and leave your glass on the table. 

“You heard him. C’mon, Sammy boy.” 

You reach for his arm, linking it with yours. Josh gives you a look, but you usher him forward with a dismissive gesture. He glowers at you before walking toward the seating chart to see that the three of you are at table six. Sam follows along, his hand in his pocket as you hold on to his forearm. 

You settle into the chair between Sam and Josh. You opt for the chicken when the caterers come around, and both Sam and Josh go for the fish. There are a few speeches that go on before your plates arrive, so you sit politely and listen, Josh’s back to you as the speakers present. Since Sam is behind you, there are a few points where you turn around to laugh with him about something the presenter says. Josh stays facing forward, effectively blocking the two of you out. 

As your plates are delivered, everyone starts to eat, the table occasionally chattering, but it’s mostly quiet as some music plays. 

“How’s the chicken?” Josh asks, trying to make small talk. You take a bite, nodding. 

“Really good. And the fish?” You ask politely, but you don’t really care. 

“Delicious. Do you want a bite?” He asks, gesturing to his plate with his utensils. 

“Oh, no. No thanks.” You reply, turning away. He shrugs and goes back to eating his dinner, sipping his water.

“Do you wanna try a bite of the chicken, Sammy?” You ask, raising your eyebrows. You give him a soft smile as he nods, swallowing his bite.

Cutting a piece, you lift your fork towards Sam and he instinctively opens his mouth. Your other hand comes up under his chin to make sure he doesn’t get any sauce on his jacket. He accepts the bite from your fork and chews, nodding. 

“Oh, that’s really good. I should have gotten that.” He says, talking with his mouth full. It’s then that the stranger next to Sam interjects. 

“How long have you two been together?” She says, a nosey but well meaning woman. Josh nearly chokes on his dinner, pulling his cloth napkin up to his mouth as he coughs. It’s such a distraction that you don’t hear what Sam says to her. 

Once Josh stops coughing, he looks at you with a subtle anger behind his eyes. 

“Can you stop? I get it. You made your point.” Josh grumbles through gritted teeth. You feign innocence, blinking at him with bullshit doe eyes. 

“What point, Josh?” 

“You’re flirting with my brother so blatantly that strangers think you’re dating. What the fuck am I supposed to do, just sit here and let it happen?” 

Sam, realizing tensions are high, starts to stand up. 

“I’m gonna go get some air…” he says, departing from the table like it’s on fire. 

“I’m not flirting with him. I’m just being nice to him. You remember what that is, right? Being nice?” You say with an attitude, tilting your head as you wait for an answer. 

“Cut it out.” He tenses his jaw and his mouth barely moves as he scolds you like you’re some kind of dog. 

“Fuck you, Josh.” You’re not putting up with it for another second, so you push away from the table, grab your drink, and head in the direction Sam went. 

As you sneak through the crowds and the bar lines, you check to see if Josh is following you, but he’s still seated at the table. You see Sam through the glass doors, standing under a tent that’s doing little to nothing to stop the wind, smoking a cigarette. Gently pressing against the push bar, you slip outside and approach him tentatively. 

It’s quiet between the two of you as he gives you a smile that’s more of a grimace, though you know him and know that it’s not his intention. 

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, you know that, right?” He says, giving you a knowing smirk as he exhales some smoke. You sigh, kicking at a pebble beneath your feet. You hold your glass of champagne with both hands, your thumb nervously running along the side of it. 

“I feel like I do. But sometimes I can’t help myself.” You peer up at him, a coy smile spreading across your face. He lets out a laugh, shaking his head. 

“You two are a match made in hell,” he starts, bringing the cigarette back to his lips. “But I can’t imagine him with anyone else.” 

You roll your eyes. Lately you’ve been feeling like Josh doesn’t even want to be with you anymore, but it’s not like you would have time to even discuss splitting up in person, since he’s hardly around long enough. Instead of divulging any of that to Sam, you lift your head and step closer. 

“Can I have a drag of that?” You ask, giving him a mischievous smirk. 

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You know how he is.” Sam says, well aware that the only thing Josh thinks it’s okay to smoke is not cigarettes. 

“Just one.” You bargain, looking out at the parking lot for a moment, then up at him with doe eyes. He can’t help but smile at you in return. 

“Don’t even touch it. He’ll smell it on your hands.” He jokes, turning it around in his fingers and holding it towards you. You tilt up your chin, smiling sweetly before he moves it closer to your pouty, glossy lips. Your eyes close gently and you start to inhale. 

Within seconds, it’s pulled from your lips, and all you hear is Sam’s thick Michigan accent as he whines, “OWWWW!” your eyes shooting open. 

“I will break every bone in your fuckin’ hand if you don’t get the fuck out of here right now, Samuel.” Josh threatens, suddenly outside with the two of you on the patio. Sam grabs the cigarette from his restrained hand with his free one, dropping it to the ground and stepping on it with wide eyes. 

Josh pushes his arm towards him as he lets it go and Sam nearly trips over himself, mumbling a startled, “Jesus Christ.” before adjusting his suit jacket and heading for the door.  

“And you.” Josh is positively seething, as he steps up to you. “What am I going to do with you, hm?”

You nervously step backwards, leaning onto the railing behind you as he cages you in. “Josh, I’m–”

“Oh, it’s a little late for that, don't you think? I fucking warned you, Y/N.” His hand grips into your elbow, yanking your forward and dragging you behind him as you make your way back inside the building. “Get your fucking coat and meet me at the front door.” he says, releasing you as you enter back into the large crowd. 

You walk back over to your table, collecting your bag and your champagne before rushing over towards the coat check. You hand the same girl your ticket stub, and you anxiously sip your champagne as you wait. You may have pushed him too far this time. Seconds later she returns with your coat, and you take it with a smile, pulling it over your arms and making your way to the front door. 

Josh is waiting, chewing a piece of gum a little harsher than necessary. His jaw is hard set and his cheeks are pink and you know this does not bode well for you. As you approach him he offers a small wave and a smile to someone behind you, before letting his eyes drift back to yours, full of fury, the tension returning to his body. 

“Oh, so you can listen.” he says, yanking the large glass door open, both of you being hit with the cold outside air. You step out the door and begin the walk to the car, clutching your jacket close to your body. Your teeth chatter as the wind hits you, your whole body shivering. 

“What, are you cold in that slutty little dress?” he asks, walking a little too quickly for you to keep up with him. “Seemed just fine on the patio with Sam. Suck it up and keep walking.”

He turns his head looking back at you as you try to drink down the rest of your champagne. He reaches for the glass, ripping it from your hand and tossing it into the bushes. You hear the glass shatter and you’re a little taken aback. You’ve never seen him this mad before, and you hate that you kinda like it. 

“Josh!” you shout, you cheeks heating at his aggressiveness, and you think the alcohol in your system is to blame for that. 

“What has gotten into you, Y/N?! You think– You think you can just go around acting like a little slut at my work events? With my fucking brother? Do you know how that looks!?” he shouts, as you round the corner, steadily approaching the car. He is still chewing the gum too hard, hoping it will relieve some of the tension pulsing through his body.  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Josh, I think the pain meds are making you crazy.” you scoff, completely brushing off his accusations, even though he is completely right. 

“Oh, fuck offff…It’s not the pain meds, it’s you! You’re making me fucking crazy! Running around like a little trollop just to make me irate for sport!” he yells, his midwestern accent peeking out in his anger. 

He reaches for the door handle, yanking it open to let you step in, regardless of how angry he currently is. As you position yourself in the seat you turn to look at him, ready to deliver another snarky comment but as you open your mouth he cuts his eyes and slams the car door closed. You huff and fasten your seatbelt as he joins you on the other side. 

He starts the car and peels out of the parking spot, spinning the tires as he pulls out onto the main road. Your hands grasp at the door handle for stability, his expression unwavering as he continues to blow down the backstreets of downtown Nashville. 

“Josh, I–”

“No. Silence. Don’t say another fucking word until I speak to you first. Got it?” he snaps, the fury is thick in his voice. 

You cross your arms over your chest, debating whether or not to taunt him further. As if he can hear your thoughts he turns to you, speaking through clenched teeth. 

“Not. A. Fucking. Word.”

The rest of the drive home was spent in silence, and you could tell he was compiling his list of your transgressions. You knew that the second the front door shut behind you he was going to unleash every bit of it on you, and to be quite honest, you couldn’t wait.

Once he tears recklessly up the driveway, he kills the engine and the headlights. Throwing open the door, he slams it behind him and makes his way around to the passenger side. Despite his burning anger, he’s still insistent on opening your door for you. He offers you a hand and when you take it, you feel how warm he is to the touch. Hopping down to the ground, he lets you steady yourself, then tugs your hand so you’re forced to walk in front of him. He lets go once he knows you’ve gotten the hint and start off wobbling through the gravel in your heels like a baby deer as he locks the car. 

You wait next to the front door, knowing Josh has his keys and you opted to leave yours at home to save space in your clutch. He ignores you, his jaw still working overtime on the probably stale gum in his mouth, turning the key in the lock and pushing into the house. He leaves the door open for you to follow him in, so you do, shutting it gently as you slip off your heels. 

He tosses his keys onto the dining table and you watch as they slide to a halt as he rids himself of his suit coat, tossing it over the back of a chair. You make a move towards the closet, ready to hang your own coat but as you walk he steps in front of you, snatching the thick black fabric from your hands to throw it over the same chair. He stares at you with a hardened jaw, his face and ears red as he prepares for his onslaught, and as a small grin turns up the corner of your lips you see his anger tip the scales to catastrophic. 

“I don’t know why you’re so worked up, Josh. If I didn’t know any better I would say you’re acting a bit jealous. Or threatened, maybe?” you pause, tapping your finger to your chin. “Yeah, I think threatened is the right word. Are you nervous little Sammy is gonna steal your spotlight and your girl?”

“Steal my spotlight?” he responds, scoffing. It’s clear you hit a nerve there. “You need to learn when to keep your mouth shut. Especially when it comes to things you know nothing about.”

“I know how many people were bumping elbows with him tonight, talking about his upcoming projects, barely even asking about the album. He’s got his own career now.” you double down, narrowing your eyes at him, twisting the knife. He steps closer to you, his nostrils flaring as he takes a deep breath. You know he’s about to lay into you for that.

“You should be grateful I even let you tag along to these fucking things.” he snaps, his voice raising. “You know, there’s a hell of a lot you should be grateful for, now that I think of it. Do you know how easy it would be for me to find a nice, quiet girl who waits patiently for me to come home and doesn’t spend every waking moment reminding me of my shortcomings?” 

You don’t like the direction he’s taking this, and you’re realizing you may have pushed him a little too far. 

“I could go down the line and pick any one I wanted, but I still come home to you. And this is what I have to put up with?” 

“So do it then! Go ahead and take your pick!” you shout, throwing your hands in the air. His cheeks grow red, and his eyes narrow. 

“But you won’t, will you Josh... Because you know that not a single one of them will stick around once they find out how you really are. When they find themselves home alone night after night. When you don’t speak to them for days at a time when you’re writing or on the road. When you miss their birthday… and every major holiday for that matter. When they find out that your idea of love and romance is having your assistant buy hush gifts you can’t be bothered to choose yourself. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s the one texting me from your phone, too!”

He slams his fist down on the dining table, his keys rattling against the wood. “That is not true, and you know it!”

“But it is, and you know who puts up with it? Me, because I love you. And I can promise that you’ll be hard pressed to find someone else who is willing to deal with all of that.”

“Dare me?” he challenges, wincing slightly as the pressure builds in his ear. 

“I don’t know Josh, is that what you want? Wouldn’t say I’d be surprised with how you’ve been acting lately.” you say, pushing away from the kitchen table and walking further into the house. 

“How I’ve been acting lately?” he scoffs, following after you, hot on your heels.

“Yeah! Like I’m such a burden to bear. Like you’d rather I wasn’t here. I’m practically your glorified assistant, or arm candy when you feel like dragging me along.”

You start to climb the stairs toward your bedroom, needing to get out of your dress and away from him. Unfortunately, Josh isn’t one to ever let you have the last word, and he starts bounding up the staircase after you.

“Is that what this is about? You’re still mad you had to bring me to the doctor? God forbid I ask you to do something besides complain and spend my money. I needed your help, because if you haven’t noticed, something pretty serious happened to me, but for some reason you won’t stop giving me a hard fucking time about it!” That comment about the money stops you in your tracks, leaving you glaring down at him on the step below you. 

“It’s not about your money and it’s not about me having to help you. It’s about you not giving a shit about how I feel and blowing me off when I try to tell you. All I want is for you to care! Have we grown so far apart that seeing me upset doesn’t even phase you anymore?”

Josh runs his tongue over his teeth as he tries to conjure up a response. He steps up so he’s on the landing with you, a little bit of silence settling over you both.

“And you thought…” he starts, looking out the window behind you for a moment, then back to your eyes. “You thought the way to get me to care… was to behave like a little slut?”

The energy suddenly shifts between you. You know that in the silence, he must have had a realization that he’s not meeting your needs. You feel your mouth go a little dry and you take a step backwards, reaching to hold on to the railing. 

“I–”

“You know what I think…” he says, moving closer, caging you in with his arms. “I think that I’ve been gone too long…” his breath is hot on your cheeks. “I think you’re due for an attitude adjustment.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you grip into the bannister. You swallow nervously, as his hand moves to meet your satin covered waist. “Yeah, I think I need to remind you just how good you have it, don’t I sweetheart?”

The words are there, swirling through your head but as his eyes peer into yours, nothing seems to come out. 

“S’matter, baby? Nothin’ to say suddenly? No smart ass remarks? I’m right, aren’t I? You need me to fuck some sense into you?” he growls, his fingers gripping into the curve of your waist. He nods his head in the direction of your bedroom, a crooked smirk on his face. 

“Go ahead and take off your earrings, baby. Get out of that unbecoming little dress and wait for me on the bed.” he says softly, rubbing a thumb over the apple of your cheek before walking off and locking himself in the bathroom. 

The cocktail of emotions your brain is floating in has you dizzy. You want to be angry at him, but you’re starting to feel a little embarrassed as you think back on how you acted at dinner. Part of you wants to cry, his harsh words hitting you where he knew it would hurt, but another is so turned on by the way he just flipped the switch on the entire emotionally charged exchange.

You shuffle into your shared bedroom, sitting gingerly at your vanity and taking off all of your jewelry. As you take off your rings, you stare at the earrings and necklace in your porcelain dish, remembering when he had gifted each piece to you. Maybe it’s not that he doesn’t care how long or how often he’s away…he just doesn’t know how to make it better. So he sends you trinkets from wherever he visits, reminding you that you’re on his mind. Your heart lurches as you realize that maybe all he wanted while he was away from home was a quiet dinner with you, his love, at Phil’s, and that’s why he didn’t take you out to an expensive steakhouse where you would undoubtedly sit awkwardly across from each other and make conversation. He wanted comfort. He wanted what he knows no other woman can give him. 

You hear the water start to run, which zaps you back into the moment. Standing from the velvet upholstered stool, you head for the walk-in closet and try to reach for the zipper on your dress. You can’t exactly get to it, stretching to try and pinch the zipper between your fingers. The bathroom door opens and you whip your head around, knowing he’s going to come looking for you. 

It’s only seconds before you feel his warm hands gliding across your hips, no doubt knowing you need his help with the zipper. Perhaps that’s why he purchased the dress to begin with. Knowing he would be the one to help you take it off. He moves your hair, laying it all to one side of your neck before pressing his lips to your skin. His fingers pinch the small zipper as he slides it down, letting the silk dress flutter down around your ankles. 

“Tell me you know that I love you.” he breathes, his lips brushing against your neck.

“I know you love me.” you answer, breathless as your chest heaves. 

His hands slide around to your bare stomach, pulling your body back until you’re flush with his own. “Now, tell me you’ll remember that.”

“I’ll remember.” you whisper, feeling him long and hard as he rests against your back. 

He grabs your hips and spins you around to face him, cupping your cheeks in his hands. “Good, because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

A gasp leaves your chest as your eyes meet his, dark and blown out. He drags his thumb over your lips, smearing the remnants of your pink lipstick across your chin. “Now get on the bed like I told you the first time.”

Reluctantly pulling away from him, you make your way back into the bedroom, kneeling on the bed, sitting on your heels. You nervously cover your chest with your hands, the room feeling a little cold all of the sudden. He steps into the room, his hand lingering on the doorframe. 

“Move your hands,” he says, his voice quiet but stern. “You wanted the entire dinner table to see them. Why can’t I?”

Your cheeks burn red as you lower your hands to your lap. He approaches, his eyes scanning every inch of you like he’s appraising you.

“He didn’t touch you, did he?” he asks, pushing your hair behind your ear. “My brother?” 

You quickly start to shake your head. Maybe a little too quickly. You watch him with careful eyes as he lets his hand gently graze your throat, then move further down, the gears in his head turning.

“I bet you wanted him to, though…” he adds, pinching at your nipple teasingly, wanting a reaction. You take in a sharp breath between your teeth.

“No.” you say defensively.

“You like Sam because he’s so sweet. He cares. That’s what you want, right? Someone to wipe away your tears when you cry about meaningless shit? You know that’s his specialty.” 

“I don’t like Sam. I just wanted–”

“Save it.” Josh snaps, grabbing harshly at your cheeks to shut you up. He stares at you for a moment before placing a gentle kiss to your squished lips. He pulls away quickly, but doesn’t release his grip on your cheeks.

“If you want to act like a little whore, I’m going to treat you like one. If I want to hear you speak, I’ll tell you.”

He pushes you backwards as he releases his hand, landing you in the pile of soft feather pillows behind you. He stands up from the bed, shimmying off his boxers before crawling back onto the bed in front of you. His eyes meet yours and for a second there is a softness there, almost as if he is asking if you’re okay with this. You offer him a subtle nod before he lowers his head and begins to drag his nose up the length of your leg.

“Did you have fun tonight, flitting around the place, drink in hand, practically begging to be fucked in the bathroom? Hm? Is that what you wanted?” he asks, pressing a hot kiss to the inside of your thigh. 

You squirm beneath him as the filthy words leave his angelic lips. “Did you want him to take you away and fuck your stupid little brains out? Answer me.”

“No.” you reply, desperate to feel his lips on your body. “I… I wanted…” you stammer, your bravery leaving you with every shaky breath. He places an open mouthed kiss to your mound, but freezes once your words trail off.

“You never stop talking, but now you’re at a loss for words? Fucking say it, Y/N.” 

“I wanted you!” you cry out, your head falling back onto your pillow, a heavy sigh leaving your chest. He squeezes the softness of your thigh before he speaks.

“And you really thought that would work?” he asks, nipping at your soft skin, chuckling quietly. “You’re dumber than I thought.”  

You feel your skin grow hot at his words, your hips jerking upwards on their own accord.

“You like that, don’t you? You like it when I call you my stupid little girl?” he asks, sucking a mark into your thigh. “My dumb little brat?”

A whine leaves your chest as you feel his tongue slowly start to slide through your folds. 

He pulls away from you, “Ah, ah… Be quiet, remember? I know it’s hard for you to do as you’re told, but if I have to remind you again you aren’t going to like what happens.”

You stifle your moan and move your hips as his hands hold you in place, his tongue reconnecting with your core as he makes slow, languid laps against you. “Did I leave this pretty pussy too long? Does she miss me and need my attention?” 

He moves his hands to let his thumbs spread you further, swirling his tongue over your clit. “I think she misses me so bad that it’s got you acting crazy, my love.” His lips suction against you, sucking you into his mouth with a lewd slurp. His hands slide up to your hips, pulling you closer to his face. His tongue grazes your entrance, dipping in just long enough to tease you. He presses a kiss to your clit before pulling away again. 

“You must be crazy if you think my brother could do even half of what I do to you. No one, no one, treats this pussy like I do. Worships this pussy like I do.”

“Josh…” you whine, the word leaving your lips before you could stop it. 

You feel a sharp flick to your clit and you cry out, your body jumping in response.

“I told you that you wouldn’t like it.” he says, pressing a kiss to your sensitive clit, as if to soothe the pain he inflicted. You feel a rush of warmth at your core, your body responding positively to his actions. 

“Oh, baby, fuck…” he groans, sliding his fingers thorough the wetness. “But you do like it. You love it.” He pauses, locking eyes with you. “Answer me.”

“I–Yes…” you breathe, feeling his smile against your core. 

“My dirty, sweet, baby likes a little pain with her pleasure.” he growls, sliding a finger inside of you. You clench around it, desperate for more. “Yeah? More? You want two or three?” he asks, his eyes flicking to yours. 

“T-Three.” you beg, breathless as you feel him slide in two more. 

His lips find your clit again, suckling the sensitive nub into his mouth, rolling his tongue over it again and again as his fingers work you from the inside. The pressure is growing and you know you’re close. He must feel you fluttering around him, so he pulls his fingers and mouth away from you quicker than you can blink. 

“Nu-uh. Not until I say so, and I do believe I’d like to get mine first tonight... You know, for my troubles.”

A huff leaves your chest as you look at him, sitting back up to rest on his heels. 

“You know baby, I think I’m feelin’ a little reckless tonight...I’m thinkin’ maybe we skip the condom, what do you say?”

Your eyes widen in surprise, Josh always having been completely adamant that you use protection. Always. Despite being on birth control. You can count the number of times you’ve gone without a condom on one hand over the three years you’ve been together. 

“Are–Are you sure?” you ask.

“Yeah, I think you need the full effect… need to really feel me so you can remember your place. Remember why you count down the days until I come home.” he says, fisting his base. 

“Although,” he says thoughtfully before pausing. “… if I’m going to fuck you like a whore, I’m gonna have to wear one. Standard procedure, you understand…” he mumbles, reaching over to his nightstand and pulling a silver foil package from the drawer. You feel your heart drop as he rips it out of the package and effectively rips the opportunity away from you. A quiet, disappointed whine leaves your throat.

He clicks his tongue as he watches your face drop, “Aw, what is it? Did you want my cock?” he asks, a smug grin on his face. “If you behaved yourself I probably would have given you what you wanted. It’s a shame, really.”

“Please…” you whine, hoping he doesn’t notice the tears in the corners of your eyes. 

“Oh she’s begging for it. God, you really are so sweet when you want to be.” he says, rolling the condom over his cock. 

“Josh come on, please!” it’s a pathetic whine as it leaves your mouth, but you don’t care.

His hand collides with the side of your hip, a loud smack ringing through the room. “Don’t be a little brat. You’ll take what you’re given.”

A whimper leaves your lips as the sting sets in. “That hu—”

“What? Hurt? That’s typically the point, love.” Your hips jerk up towards him, his abs peeking through as he leans towards you. “Now, do you understand?”

You nod your head as he lowers his, pressing his lips to yours. His perfect heart shaped lips capture yours, his tongue pressing into your mouth with fervor. Your hands come up to wrap around his waist, his skin soft and smooth beneath your hands. You feel his muscles tense under your touch as he ruts his hips, dragging himself against you, the sound of the latex audible as you try to angle yourself so he’ll slip inside you.

“So impatient…” he chides, sucking his teeth as he hovers his lips just above yours. He decides to take mercy on you, letting himself start to slide inside with ease. You cup his cheek, kissing him tenderly, a silent thank you. You feel the heat building in your abdomen again, half the battle won after the way he edged you previously. 

“Does that feel good, sweet thing?” he asks, pushing in to the hilt before slowly pulling out again. “You gonna settle down now that you’re feeling nice and full?” he asks, and you respond with a shake of your head. “No?” he questions, surprised. He fucks into you slowly, deeply. You feel every inch of him that you’ve missed… but it’s not the same.

“No…I wanted you to take it off…” you whine. He shakes his head, a little chuckle leaving him.

“You’re in no place to make demands. I’m gonna get mine, toss it in the trash, and leave you wishing it was dripping down your thigh. And if you’re smart, you’ll say thank you.”

You feel yourself clench around him at his cruel words, making him smirk. So he carries on, picking up his pace as he grips into the softness of your thighs.

“But you’re not, are you?” he taunts, lowering his head to kiss and suck at your collarbone. “Can’t be if you pretended to be interested in my idiot brother. You’re mine. What do I have to do to get it to stick in that little brain of yours?” 

You whisper his name, closing your eyes as your cheeks turn pink, his insults both embarrassing you and bringing you closer and closer to the edge. 

“I told you I’m getting mine first. Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns, his palm landing on the pillow next to your head as he rests his weight and increases his range of motion. As he moves faster, his thrusts become more brutal as he starts to knock the wind out of you. It’s getting harder to keep yourself from losing it, your thighs starting to quiver.

He feels it, because he always does, but you can tell by the look on his face he doesn’t want to stop. He curses breathlessly and pulls out, his hand leaving your hip and moving down to stroke himself, but he lets out a grunt and pushes up to sit on his heels, looking down at himself.

“...Fuck.”

He wraps his arm under your thigh and tugs you closer, urgently, and sheathes himself inside so quickly you cry out.

“Oh, baby. You feel like fucking velvet.” he moans, his head falling back, his moans bouncing off the ceiling. When he pulls back, something feels… different. “Looks like you got what you wanted after all…”

He sits back again and pulls out of you, resting his hands on his thighs as he takes a deep breath like he needs to get himself under control. Sitting up on your elbows, you look down at him between your thighs to see the condom has not just broken, but torn. It’s more than halfway down his shaft, which explains why he felt so slick and warm inside you.

“Oh…” you say softly, your lips parting. You stare at him above you, his chest rising and falling, his eyes heavy as they lock onto yours. He lifts one hand, motioning you forward with two fingers, and you know exactly what he wants. 

“On your knees.”

You don’t hesitate to roll onto your side and stand from the bed, dropping to your knees with your hands in your lap. He watches as you go, waiting until you’re in position to stand himself and approach, raking his hand through your hair almost affectionately. You keep your eyes on him, the way he’s hard and straining against the useless condom.

“Does being on your knees hurt, little slut? Or is that right where you belong?” he asks, resting the tip of his cock against your lips. “Open.” 

You stick out your tongue, dragging it against the bottom of his tip.

“More.” he demands, pushing his hips forward. You open your mouth wider as you move to reach up and touch him, but he immediately tells you, “No.”

Your eyes look up at him, brows furrowing in curiosity as you question silently whether or not he’s going to take the condom off.

It’s sudden and shocking when he answers your question, grabbing the back of your head and shoving himself in deep. You feel him against your tongue, tasting the lube and feeling the latex on the front end of your tongue. 

He starts to thrust so quickly, you reach for his thighs to try and push him back. He doesn’t seem to care, almost relishing in your struggle, his fist tightening in your hair. As a gag works its way up your throat, he pulls you off of him, gasping for air, saliva dripping down your chin and neck. 

“How’s it taste, baby?” he asks, tugging your hair, making you look up at him through bleary eyes, trying to catch your breath. As you open your mouth to answer, he fists himself, shoving himself back into your mouth. You gag immediately and he pulls out, your mouth open as you try to breathe. He doesn’t let you, though, grabbing your jaw and spitting directly into your open mouth. 

“You better think twice before you complain.” 

You snap your jaw shut, swallowing thickly, your eyes popping back open to look up at him in shock. He gives you a crooked smile, pleased with the way he’s managed to throw you off. It only encourages him as you look up at him with wide eyes and try to catch your breath. He quirks a single brow, then runs his tongue over his teeth. 

“Nothing to say?” he asks, challenging you. You shake your head once.

He pushes the head of himself back inside your mouth, then spits again, making you flinch as it lands on your cheek. You squeeze your eyes closed, intending to hollow out your cheeks and suck, but he pulls himself out with a pop and drags his cock through the spit on your face, chuckling. 

“You’re starting to smarten up.” he mumbles. “Little brat.”

He taps the tip of his cock harshly against your lips and you can see the wheels spinning in his head as he plans his next move. “Back on the bed, all fours.” he says, snapping his fingers and pointing to the center of the bed.

You immediately pull yourself from your aching knees and scramble onto the bed, positioning yourself on all fours, just as instructed. You feel the bed dip behind you and you turn your head, seeing the remnants of the condom still intact around him. He makes no effort to remove it, wearing it like a trophy as his hands find your hips. His left hand slides up the curve of your back before pressing a palm to your spine, a silent order to arch a little further. 

“You’re trembling. You want it so bad don’t you…” he growls, his tip brushing against your entrance. “Want to feel my nice warm cock inside you…Nothing but me and you…You’d like that wouldn’t you, baby…”

“Yes.” you breathe, almost a whisper.

“I shouldn’t…I should put a new one on right now.” he says, the clench of his jaw audible. 

He thrusts himself inside of you, the barrier of latex gone between the two of you, letting you feel every ripple and vein of his perfect cock inside of you. It nearly takes your breath away as his hips slam into you. A groan leaves his chest as his hands grip into your hips, and you can feel his hot breath on your back.

His hips crash violently into yours, his pillow soft tip grazing your cervix with every stroke. He’s struggling to keep his composure, it's evident with his erratic breathing and the stuttering of his hips. 

You clench around him, a whimper falling from his lips in response, briefly breaking the facade he’s chosen for the evening. “Fuck, Y/N… I– I fucking hate you. You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?”

A pang shoots through your chest, you feel the tension in your stomach start to build as you flutter around him. “I hate that I can’t live without you. I hate how much I love you. You–I can’t deny you anything…Not ever…” he pauses, his chest heaving. “Can’t you see that?”

“Josh…” you beg through panting breaths. 

“Not yet, you’re gonna wait. Wait until I say, yeah? Can you wait like my good girl?” he says, struggling to stave off his own release. 

“I– I can’t…” you whine. 

“You will.” he demands, punctuating his sentence with his hips. “Fuck, you feel so good, swear to god I’m gonna– fuck…”

“Josh please, please!” you beg, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 

“My little slut begging to cum, oh you’re a fucking vision… My angel…” he pauses, sliding his hand around your waist and pinching your nipple between his fingers. You tighten around him and you hear him hiss in response. “Oh goddamn, you’re not a fucking angel though, are you… You’re straight from hell.”

His hips start to falter, and you can tell he’s close. You turn your head to look at him, his hair wild and sweaty against his temples, his jaw hanging slack as he watches himself fuck you. His eyes flick up to meet yours, they are dark and his pupils are wide as a slight smile turns his lips. 

“I know I said I was going to get mine first, but you’ve been such a good girl for me. Go on, cum baby. Cum right on my cock, wanna feel you give yourself to me.” he says, nodding his head. 

His permission throws you right up into the sky, your release washing over you so forcefully that your arms give out below you, sending you tumbling into the sheets. His hands hold you up as he continues to fuck you through it, curses and praise falling from his swollen pink lips. 

As if your bliss fueled his own, you feel him pull your hips back firmly against him, a groan exploding from his chest once he can’t hold on any longer. You feel his cock twitching, his release beginning to spill inside of you as your name falls from his lips. You clench around him and he rapidly pulls out of you, fisting his cock as his cum continues to spill, painting hot white streams across your back. 

The room is quiet, just the sounds of the two of you attempting to catch your breath. His hand slides up over the curve of your ass, his fingertips catching a drip of his cum before it falls to the sheets below you. His hand reaches around smearing his fingers across your lips, and you can hear him snickering as he leaves his release behind. “A much better shade on you, darling.”

With a smack of your ass you feel him step off of the bed, padding towards the bathroom. “Stay there, don’t move. I don’t want a mess on the sheets.”

You stay put, frozen as you lean down on your elbows and rest your chin in your palm. He comes back out of the bathroom a moment later in his robe and saunters to the stairs. You hear his footsteps slowly descending the steps, the occasional squeak indicating how far away he is. 

You figure he’s heading to get you a towel from the dryer, so you just sigh and bide your time, feeling the wetness on your back start to get a little cold as the air moves through the room. In the silence, you hear a cabinet opening… then a cup being placed on the counter. Your lips part in shock as you realize he’s downstairs making a drink while he leaves you here, messy and exposed. The cherry on top of the punishment he’s dealt you this evening.

It’s a good, long while before he comes back up the stairs, again, at a leisurely pace. He softly pads across the room, then steps into your line of sight, putting a mug down on the nightstand. He made himself a cup of tea? 

You sigh, looking at him flatly, a little tired of the game at this point. He steps into the bathroom again, this time reemerging with a warm, wet towel. He approaches the bed and kneels over you, gently wiping you clean as silence settles over you both.

“I made you some tea. In case I was a little rough on your throat.” he says quietly. “I figured I owe you a drink after throwing yours into the bushes.” His tone conveys that he’s remorseful, his voice back to its unique, charming timbre. “Listen, I didn’t mean to get so… worked up. You were right when you said I was threatened by Sam, and I just kind of lost control.” 

You hum softly, resting your head on the pillow and looking at him over your shoulder, your eyes soft and tired.

“I’m sorry I pushed you that far…” you say quietly, your voice hoarse. He tosses the towel towards the hamper, standing from the bed. He leans down and places a kiss to your temple as you lay all the way down, just as your back starts to hurt.

You hear him opening your dresser drawer and soon enough he’s back at your side, placing a set of silky, cream colored pajamas and a pair of underwear near your head. He kneels at your bedside, resting his head on the bed to look at you where you lay.

“I picked these out for you when we were in Glasgow. There was this little boutique near the hotel that caught my eye. It was after dinner one night and I tried to call you but the time difference was making a mess of things…I couldn’t get ahold of you and I was just feeling lonely… so I took a walk and decided to pop in. I saw them and thought of you immediately. Thought of how they’d feel when I got back home and in bed with you.” he confesses, petting your hair the whole time he speaks. There’s almost a sadness to this story that makes guilt bubble up in your chest. You accused him of never calling, rarely thinking of you, and sending his assistant off to buy you meaningless gifts. The thought of him hand picking it for you while he was feeling lonely thousands of miles away breaks your heart.  

“I’m sorry I said all that stuff. About the gifts. That was admittedly pretty awful of me.” you squeak out, feeling ashamed of the way you acted and who you painted him to be. “I’ve been really hard on you.”

“Hard on me?” he asks, a breathy laugh rumbling through him.

“I just… I haven’t been really considerate about your ear and the stress you’re under and I think I’ve been feeling neglected in a way, so instead of trying to fix it, it was just easier to put all of the blame on you and lose sight of the sacrifices you make for me every day. For us.” 

He shakes his head, unwilling to let you accept all the blame. “I haven’t exactly made things easy on you…” he says, his voice a little small. “I think–no, I know I can do more. I will do more. I fucked up yesterday baby, and I’m sorry. I should have planned something nice. You deserve that. And I’m sorry about tonight, fuck, I’m just sorry for all of it. I love you and I need you and I’m just really, really sorry.”

He stands from his place on the side of the bed, watching you as you slide into your silky pajamas. He tosses his robe to your vanity chair and joins you on the other side of the bed, pulling back the linen sheets and sliding in next to you. 

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I was a brat, and I’m sorry I used Sam to get under your skin. I just– I wanted your attention…and I know it was stupid and immature… I just needed to know you still cared, even just a little bit. I wanted to see it.” you pause, looking into his dark brown eyes. 

“And last night, you just wanted a night in and I was…less than agreeable. I wish we could do it over. You just wanted your comfort food and your favorite movie, home alone with me…but I couldn’t see that. I know you’re hurting. I know you’re doing your best and I’m sorry I was ungrateful. I’m happy that you were even home. I’m happy I can take care of you while you’re here.” you say, moving closer to him in the middle of the bed. “I missed you last night…”

He props himself up on his elbow, his cheeks still a little pink from earlier, and in the dim light of the lamp he is glowing. “I missed you too baby, I knew I fucked up before I even got out of the room. I should have never said that to you. Not ever. Can you forgive me?” he asks, letting his free hand slide across the sheets and grab yours. 

“Can you forgive me?” you ask, letting your glassy eyes meet his.

“Baby…” the word is a breath from his lips. You reach for him as he wraps his arms around you. You cradle his head in the crook of your neck as he breathes you in and you know all is forgiven between the two of you. You scratch his scalp and pet his velvety shaved sides, holding him close enough that you can feel his heart beating. 

“Can I make you that soup you like tomorrow? With the kale and the carrots…” you ask, a whisper against his temple. You feel him nod, a small hum leaving his chest. 

“And I still have that sourdough starter that Jake gave us… I can make some bread with it? Does that sound good?” you ask, feeling his grip on you tighten. 

“Oh my god, that starter. Have you been feeding it like he said!? I completely forgot!” he gasps.

You laugh hard enough that it shakes your chest, “Of course I have. He would be so sad if I let it die.”

You feel his body relax against you again, “Do you know how much I love you?” he asks, turning his head to face you. 

You feel your skin blush as he looks at you, his eyes full of adoration. “A lot?”

“More than that.” he smiles, his cheek dimple peeking out just a touch. You can hardly stop yourself from pressing your lips to it, your favorite thing. 

“I love you, alot.” you reply, peppering his face with kisses. 

“But there is something that I want to talk to you about…” he says, his voice growing a little more serious. 

“W-what?” you ask nervously, pulling away just a little. 

“I know you’ve been so excited about coming to Spain in a few weeks…And I’ve really been looking forward to it too…” he starts, and you feel your heart drop. Is it canceled? Does he not want you to come?

“Yeah…” you breathe, anxious to hear what he’s about to say.

“So, you know it’s been a long time since we’ve toured over there, and our normal coordinator isn’t able to make it, so we are using a secondary coordinator…It really throws a wrench into everything. Things are going to be really shaky those first few days with the jet lag and all of that. I just– I know that it’s gonna be super crazy, and I feel like we probably won’t be able to spend much time together while we get the tour stuff sorted out.” he pauses, and you feel your eyes well with tears. “I just don’t want you to come and feel ignored...”

“So I’m not–” 

His face softens as he brings his hand up to cup your cheek, “So, I went ahead and booked us flights to go a whole week early, just me and you. Found us a quiet little place on the water right outside of Barcelona. It has a big open porch and a giant bed. It’s so beautiful and I know you’re going to love it. We can do whatever you want, just you and I.” He kisses your forehead before he continues. 

“And before you ask, yes, your boss already knows. I wanted to surprise you when we left, but I figured you would be suspicious that the rest of the guys wouldn’t be with us in the airport. I was planning to tell you tonight when we got home, but we saw what happened…” he smiles, his eyes positively sparkling. “So, how does that sound, my love? Will you come with me?”

Tears rush to your eyes. You were so prepared to be disappointed again that they were already on their way and this sealed the deal.

“That sounds so perfect,” you manage to squeak out as he wipes away an errant tear sliding down towards your pillow. When he pulls you in for a tender kiss, you can feel him smiling against your lips. “My coworkers are going to kill me for going on a two week vacation during tax season…”

“I’m sure they’ll be okay.” he says, brushing it off with a soft laugh. “They probably ate your strawberries yesterday, so you can call it even.” You suck your teeth at that, lips parting in shock.

“They better not have! I’m out for one day and the wolves descend?”

“I’m sure they’ll be there waiting for you Monday.” He soothes, pulling the sheets and comforter up higher over the both of you, pulling you in close as his little spoon. “But just in case… Maybe we can get some melting chocolate at the store tomorrow and make our own for dessert?” he mumbles softly. 

“Oh, I’d love that…” you say, pleasantly surprised at his effort already. He holds you tight, nuzzling into your hair. His hands are soft and warm as they sneak up under the silky pajamas, a comforting touch after so many nights spent in this bed alone.

“It’s a date, my love.” 

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[gretavangroupie]

Enrapture

Word count: 13.2k

Pairing: Daniel Wagner x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking. Smut: Kissing, Touching, Oral M!Receiving, Fingering, Oral F!Receiving, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Biting, Spanking, Blood, Blood Play, Cum Play, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex. Fluff.

A/N: Hey! Welcome back for the second installment of the four part Valentine's Day Mini Series I've been working on along with my best pal, @sacredstarcatcher! We've had so much fun writing these, and we hope that you enjoy Daniel's story! There's only two left now, and we can't wait to share them with you! See you real soon!

You’ve been waiting for this night for weeks, marking off the days on your calendar with a pink highlighter since the end of December. You got the call and immediately said yes, not even taking into consideration the day. It wasn’t hard to get the rest of your band mates to agree to it, only one of them even in a relationship. February 14th was really just another day, and tonight your band was set to play. 

It took some careful convincing but everyone knew that opening for The Foxies would be, to date, your biggest opportunity yet. You put the finishing touches on your outfit, waiting for the rest of the band to pick you up in the van. You zipped your black chelsea boots, and straightened your black lace corset top against your jeans as you fluffed your fingers through your freshly blown out hair. You gave yourself a look in the mirror one last time, the shine of your lip gloss catching in the bathroom light. 

The time on the clock is quickly ticking by, and you’re starting to get nervous that it's well past your pick up time. Thankful that they already have your guitar in the van, you know that as soon as they pull up you will be jumping inside as the van continues to roll. 

About fifteen minutes and a few anxious walks around your living room later, you hear the horn honking outside. You grab your coat and your keys and dash out the door, sending a quick text to your friend letting her know you’re running late. 

“Late to our biggest gig yet?! This looks bad, guys.” you screech, slamming the door shut behind you. 

“Chill, we'll make it. Van wouldn’t start, but she's runnin’ now.” Carter barks from the front seat, patting his hand on the dashboard. You roll your eyes and buckle your seat belt, listening to them chatter as you anxiously await your arrival. 

—

Rushing down the basement steps with your gear, you wade through the decently sized crowd making your way to the side of the stage. You can tell the opening band is almost finished and you rip your guitar case open to check the tuning. 

From the corner of your eye you see your best friend sauntering up to you, camera in hand just like she promised. You try to give her the quick rundown of the set so she can plan her shots but you can tell her head is elsewhere as she peers over her shoulder scanning the crowd. You wonder if it has anything to do with the boy she was talking to as you walked in. 

“Foxtrot, you’re up!” you hear the coordinator shout, and you know it’s time to take the stage. You throw your arms around your friend's neck, kissing her cheek and taking your leave for the stage. “Wish us luck! Make sure you get my good side!” 

With your guitar slung around your shoulder, you wait for Carter to cue you in on the drums, ready to play to this rowdy crowd in front of you. Your eyes scan the audience as Steff starts to sing, spotting a few familiar t-shirts with your band logo on them. A smile crosses your face as you enter in on the next song, seeing your friend down below you as she works her away across the stage snapping photos you hope to use for the band's socials. Your fingers are dancing along the frets, keeping perfect time with the drums and bass as you look out into the crowd again.

When your eyes sweep the room you notice a guy leaning against the brick wall, drinking from a beer can as he nods his head along in time with the music. His eyes are on you, dark and piercing. His dark curly hair frames his face beneath his hat, turned backwards of course in the darkness of the room. You see a smirk pull across his lips as you make eye contact, and you feel yourself blushing so you look away. 

You wish that you hadn’t abandoned his gaze when you look away and spot your ex on the other side of the room, about four rows back, with his eyes on you. You knew there was a chance he would be here. You’d been dodging his calls for weeks, and rightfully so. He betrayed your trust and that was that. You didn’t have time for the back and forth, and to be honest, he wasn’t what he portrayed himself to be anyways. You cut your losses and you have been significantly happier since. As he stands here in front of you, you feel a sense of dread wash over you, knowing this is an issue you’ll have to deal with after the set, on Valentine’s day no less. 

Your attention is snapped away from him, watching as your friend and her camera go flying over a rogue cord on the ground. With her eye to the lens she missed it, tumbling into the hands of a familiar stranger. You laugh under your breath, working your way into the next song, and letting your eyes flick back to your curly haired admirer. 

You’re pretty sure you know who he is, his appearance definitely fits the description, though you didn’t realize how cute he would be in person. He was known to pop up at these shows, always looking for the next great thing, adding names to his ever expanding catalog of local bands. You hadn’t come across him at any of your gigs yet, but it looked like tonight was your lucky night. 

—

After the show you find yourself accepting compliment after compliment, hugs and encouraging words coming from almost every familiar face in the crowd. Between conversations, you try to make your way to the kitchen for at least some water, but for a solid 10 minutes, you’re stuck hosting a receiving line.

As anticipated, your ex makes his way towards you. He’s got a look on his face that tells you he’s had a few drinks and that doesn’t bode well for you.

“Look at you,” he coos, physically pulling you in for a hug with a hand around your upper back. You grimace, politely accepting the inappropriate greeting. “Gotta admit, it’s pretty cool to see my girl up there knowing she’s–”

“Not your girl.” you say, immediately cutting him off. “Thanks for coming.” You try to get away but he grabs your forearm and makes it difficult.

“Hey hey hey, what’s the ruuush?” he slurs, stepping into your line of sight again. “You can’t still be mad.”

“I’m not mad, I just don’t want anything to do with you.” You try to pull yourself out of his predatory grasp but he’s effectively cornering you. 

“I miss you, baby. Look at me and tell me you don’t think about me. Something deep down in there still wants me.” he says, poking you gently in the chest. 

“Fuck off, Brent.” You snap, shooting him a look that could kill. Right as the tension bubbles over, you feel a warm hand on the back of your neck. 

“Hey, got you that drink you wanted.” Turning to look over your shoulder, you’re met with the same pair of striking, dark eyes that were watching you from the back during your performance. 

Brent immediately looks disgruntled, sizing up the tall stranger who is placing his arm around you. 

“Do I know you?” Brent asks.

“Oh, hey, names Danny. Nice to meet you.” He lifts his arm back over your head, then offers his hand to Brent for a sarcastic handshake. You watch the two interact with wide eyes and realize that this Danny character noticed you were in distress and decided to step in. 

“Didn’t think I needed to introduce myself, sorry about that. Most people here have at least some idea who I am.” You turn to look up at him, a little dumbfounded at the way he’s radiating smug confidence strong enough to disarm your asshole ex. 

Brent gives a few slow nods as his eyes move between the two of you. He seems to put the pieces together, deciding to take his leave.

“I’ll see you around,” Brent says to you with a terse smile, pushing his way through the crowd and out of sight. Once he’s gone, you turn to fully face your savior, giving him a relieved smile. 

You had heard about Danny Wagner. Drummer, Nashville local, party boy, general good time. He’s a little too famous to be at a show like this, so you can’t help but ask him why.

“Thanks for stepping in. I could have handled it, but… you really expedited it. So thanks.” You say, a little guarded, but appreciative nonetheless. 

“He seemed like a real prick, and I had been waiting to come over and introduce myself anyway.” Danny says, his smile sweet and disarming, but you’re not going to let yourself fall into the trap you know many women have fallen into before.

“I thought you didn’t need to?” you quip boldly, opening the beer he handed you. 

“Well, do I?” he responds quickly, laughing softly.

“It’s only polite…” you muse.

“Daniel Wagner. I really liked your set.” he says, tipping the bottle of beer back and licking his lips clean after he takes a sip. 

“That’s very kind.” you say, polite, but a little cold. Your eyes scan the room quickly, a little concerned about what others may think looking at this conversation from the outside. Danny’s reputation is less than great, and you wouldn’t want anyone attributing the slight amount of success you would say tonight was to him. 

“Can I ask what you’re doing at a basement show, though?” you prod, giving him a bit of a suspicious look. He takes it in stride, his confidence never faltering. 

“I was supposed to be on my way to New York, but due to some…unforeseen circumstances, I found myself at home on Valentine’s day. Seeing as most restaurants are booked, bars are full of schmucks on dates, and all that… I figured I would drop in. Stay up to date on the local music scene. You know.”

You raise your brows at him. You actually don’t know, so you crack a smile. 

“I see. How kind of you to grace us with your presence.” you snark, trying to suppress a grin.

Danny lets out a big laugh at that, almost choking on his beer. You laugh along, glad he’s not too offended. There’s no way he hadn’t heard the murmurings about him, so it’s nice to see he’s a good sport. 

“I’m gonna–” You start to tell him you have to go load up your equipment when you’re interrupted by a random voice.

“Hey! Can we get a picture?” 

That’s your cue. You sneak away towards the stage, starting to pack up alongside your bandmates. Every few minutes, you glance back towards Danny, caught up with some excited fans. It’s not that you’re avoiding him, because if you’re being honest, there’s something about him that’s drawing you in. It’s the gnawing worry at the back of your mind that’s telling you to tread lightly.

Crouching down, you peel up the tape from the makeshift stage. As you stand and follow the trail, pulling it from the floor, you’re brought to a pair of bright white Adidas stepping on it, keeping you from going any further. Straightening up to stand at your full height, you realize it’s Danny.

“Need a hand?”

“Oh, no, you’re fine. It’s a little complicated, so…” You try to brush him off.

“I’m sure I can figure it out.” he says, a little snarky. “The faster you’re done the faster you can have fun, right?” He’s proving to be a persistent guy who definitely likes a challenge. Something about that brings some color to your cheeks, but you try to keep a level head.

“If you really insist…” you tell him with a smirk, stepping aside so he can unplug the cord you just freed from the stage. 

The room is still fairly loud so as Danny helps you get packed up there aren’t too many words exchanged. You feel his eyes on you though. It’s difficult not to steal a few glances his way too, watching as he bends at the knee, his broad shoulders flexing while he maneuvers around equipment. 

Carter pushes away with the last road case and then there’s little to nothing left to do. 

“Thanks for your help. You seriously didn’t have to do that.” 

“It’s all good. I honestly miss doing some of the more hands-on stuff. It felt like riding a bike.” He gives you a genuine smile, his comment making you reconsider your preconceived notions of him. He seems to be a sweet guy despite his sizable ego and cocky presence. You brush your hands off on your thighs and offer Danny a grateful smile. As you do so, you feel the key to the van in your front pocket.

“Oh, shit. They’re probably out there waiting for me.” You jump into motion, heading for the door you came in through. Danny follows your quick footsteps with relaxed, large ones of his own, shifting to squeeze through the crowd with you. You’re surprised to find him behind you when you get out into the cold, but decide not to question it this time. You just smile and jog down the stairs. 

He proves to be incredibly helpful, lifting and stowing the heaviest items without more than the occasional grunt. Your eyes are constantly darting between your task at hand and his arms- the fabric of the athletic quarter zip he’s wearing is stretching around his biceps and it’s enough to make your heart pound. 

“You really didn’t have to do all that.” you murmur with a warm smile as Danny shuts the door. He lets out a big breath, his shoulders relaxing a little.

“It’s really nothing. I’m happy to help.” He goes on speaking but you’re distracted as you look over his shoulder, seeing your best friend and photographer over at her car, talking to a guy who’s within awfully close proximity. You can’t see his face, but he’s in a red beanie and a sweater. You have a feeling your plans to hang out after the show tonight are about to go to the wayside as you watch them talk and bump elbows. 

“It’s freezing out here. I’m gonna… head inside?” you say, a questioning lilt to your voice. You don’t directly ask him to come with you, but you assume he’s going to. 

“Yeah, let’s get you another drink. I lost track of it when you put it down on one of the amps.” he says, leading you back inside with a hand on the small of your back. 

You immediately feel nervous as you walk back through the door and a few pairs of eyes find you with Danny trailing almost too close behind. You worry they’ll think the worst, which you can’t imagine would be good for your possibly blossoming career, but he’s been charming and helpful thus far and it wouldn’t be fair to write him off. 

“I’m gonna find the bathroom. Don’t go anywhere, alright?” he says, leaning in close to say the words in your ear, making sure they’re heard despite the next band starting to warm up. You nod and he walks off while you search the kitchen for something to drink.

You crack open a can of beer and sip the foam that starts to bubble up. As you’re doing so, a petite dark haired girl approaches you. She seems young, her skin a striking olive shade. You swallow the foam in your mouth and lift your head.

“Hey...” she says, looking over her shoulder, then back at you.

“Hi!” you return, wiping your mouth. You go to speak again, intending to ask if she liked the show, but she cuts you off. She steps a little closer, since it’s incredibly loud.

“I just wanted to give you a heads up. About Danny?”

You retract a little, surprised that she thinks you need a warning. Had the two of you come across as having that much chemistry? You nod and lean forward again for her to continue.

“I’d just be careful with him if I were you. He really doesn’t have the best reputation, or a shred of respect for women. Don’t let him fool you.”

You scoff a laugh, a little annoyed and insulted that this girl thinks you don’t have good judgment or can’t fend for yourself. 

“Oh, great! Thanks for the tip!” you quip, watching her eyes cut just a touch, as you feel a hand brush across your lower back. 

“Tori…” his voice is smooth, as he takes his place next to you. “Can’t say I didn’t expect to see you here.” he pauses, dropping his hand from your back to step a little closer.  “You’re always just kind of… here, aren’t you?” He sips from his fresh drink as he waits for her response.

“Actually, Daniel, I was just leaving.” she replies, tossing her hair over her shoulder pretending to be unaffected. 

“Ouch, the government name…” he feigns hurt, pressing a hand to his chest.

“Well, thanks for coming out!” you say, an air of faux enthusiasm in your voice. She rolls her eyes subtly as she walks away, and you smile turning to face Danny who is wearing his own cheeky grin. 

“So, what were you two talking about?” he asks, peering over the edge of his beer can.

“Oh, she was just… complimenting the set, nothing really.” you lie, biting your lips together.

“Who, Tori? She probably hasn’t even stepped foot into the basement! She’s here for one thing and one thing only and it’s not the music, I can assure you.” he says with a huff of annoyance.

“Oh, can you? Assure me?” you smirk playfully. 

“No! Well, I mean, god. Okay yes, I can. But also, that’s not why I’m here, and it wasn’t that night either. Okay?” he stammers over his words, you’ve caught him in the act and you can tell this doesn't happen often. 

“I’m just messing with you.” you say, watching a blonde girl pat him on his back as she walks behind him. “Hi Danny…” her syrupy sweet voice says. 

 He turns to her to say hello before quickly turning back to you. “Sorry bout that.” he says, refocusing on your conversation, stepping a bit closer. 

Just as you go to speak, you hear someone call his name from across the room, grabbing his attention yet again. He lifts a hand and waves two fingers back at the girl, before lowering it back down and into his pocket.

You raise your eyebrows in question, and he lets his face grow a little softer. 

“I can let you get back to the party, I don’t want to keep you–”

“No, listen, you wanna…You wanna go somewhere else? Not here? A bar or something?” he asks, sincerity lining his voice. 

“I thought they were full of schmucks…” you quip. 

“They are…Never said I wasn’t one…” he smiles back with the raise of his brow.

“What’s wrong? You worried the ghosts of girlfriends’ past are gonna ruin your chances, here?” you quip, offering him a tiny wink.

“So you’re saying I do have a chance…” his eyes are shining in the dim house lights, a few stray curls falling from beneath his baby blue trucker hat. He bites his lip nervously waiting for your response and you can feel the butterflies swirling in your stomach from just his gaze alone.

“Mmm, I haven’t decided yet.” you answer, taking a pull from your beer.

“So let me take you for a drink, then. You can decide after if I’m really as bad as they say.” 

“Aren’t you even a little bit concerned about people talking? People have seen us together all night, and I’m sure half of Tori’s social circle knows at this point, and have found me on Instagram already.” you smirk. 

“No, fuck all those rumors. They are completely out of hand. People get mad when you cut them off. If they can’t talk to you, they’re gonna talk about you. It’s all they have. I don’t let it get to me, I know it’s not true.” he answers, and you feel a little surprised to hear something so noble come from him. 

You tap your finger to your chin pretending to decide, but you already know you’re going. You just don’t want him to know that yet.

“Where?” you question. 

“Somewhere in East? I know a few quieter places.” he answers, really trying his best, you can tell.

“Hmm… You’ll drive me home after?” you ask. 

“Of course. Just say yes, just one drink.” he pauses. “I’ll be on my best behavior.” he says, patting his hand over his heart.

You suck your teeth and pivot on the heel of your boot. “Alright, one…” 

He smiles, and you're positive that had he shown that perfect smile from the get go, you’d have been a goner from the jump. 

“Only because I live over there…” you smile. 

“Oh, no other reason?” he grins, sending you a wink. 

He places his hand on your back again, causing a shiver to run up your spine. You feel good walking out with him, despite the glares you can feel from across the room. He leads you through the crowd, heading towards the door but before you can reach it, a girl jumps out in front of you commanding your attention. You can tell she is drunk by the haziness of her eyes and the blush of her cheeks. Well, that and the drink sloshing out of her red solo cup. 

“I'm sooooo sorry t’bother you…” her words are slurring together and you know this is probably not the first time Danny has had to deal with this. 

“No no, no bother, what’s up? How are you?” he asks, his demeanor suddenly shifting. 

“I just– I have to tell you how much I love your music, it like literally changed my life…I’m like your biggest fan ever.” she slurs, falling over onto her starstruck friend. 

“That’s awesome, thank you so much for listening, we really appreciate you guys.” he answers. 

“Can we take a picture with you?” she asks, pulling her phone from her back pocket. You can tell he doesn’t want to, but he would never tell them that.

“Yeah, yeah no problem, hold on let me just–”

Before he can step closer to her, she is holding the phone up as she moves back, crashing into him and sending her drink flying. Danny is doused in the sticky liquid, what you think is probably vodka and Coke.

His pullover is soaked through, and you watch his jaw clench with anger. He stays calm, however, consoling the very embarrassed fan as if nothing ever happened. “It’s all good, no worries at all. Happens all the time. But hey, we were heading out, great to meet you.”

He quickly ushers you through the crowd, letting out a few mumbles of anger as you walk towards his car. 

“That really happen all the time?” you smirk, watching him smile as he shakes his head. 

“It’s usually not that messy. Literally and figuratively.” He says, clearly in a bit of a huff. He pulls out his keys and unlocks the Jeep that you know is his once the lights flash. You head to the passenger side and hop in, happy to be safe from the wind. You see him standing outside the door for a second, tapping his phone screen before holding it up to his ear. 

“Where’d you get off to?” He asks, his voice muffled. He opens the door, sliding into the driver’s seat as he listens to whoever is on the other line.

“I’m fine, yeah, just checking in. Didn’t know you left. You bag that chick you were chatting with?” He starts the car quickly once he realizes you’re cold, his hands messing with the dials and turning on the heat for you. You give him a little smirk at the locker room talk you’re sitting in on right now and hope he doesn’t say a word about you. He smirks as he goes to speak once more.

“Hell no. Neither is Jake. You’re stuck with Josh and his girl. So, have fun with that.” Danny says, getting adjusted and buckling his seatbelt. He laughs at whoever is on the other end of the phone and the sound of his laugh brings a little warmth to your otherwise freezing body. 

“Yeah, yeah. You too. See ya.” He hangs up and tosses his phone into the center console. When he’s done, he lifts his hand to push some hair behind his ear and there’s audible proof of how sticky it is. 

“Hang on,” he starts, shifting sideways to look at you as you buckle your seatbelt. “Can we actually stop at my place and have a drink first? I just… I need to change and maybe rinse this shit out of the ends of my hair.” He seems pretty annoyed and you feel for him, so you can’t help but nod. 

“Totally fine.” You smile in an attempt to quell a little bit of his anger bubbling up under the surface. 

He aggressively shifts into drive and all but peels out of the spot he’s parked in, probably leaving tracks in the grass of whoever’s house this is without a care. You smirk as he leans forward to look around the bend of the road before he pulls out and picks up a significant amount of speed. 

The song playing picks up where it must have left off when he arrived, and you think you recognize the familiar sound of the Foo Fighters. He turns it up a little as he starts to sing along, softly and maybe even subconsciously as he concentrates on the road. He’s a bit of a reckless driver, and you find your hand reaching for the handle on the door subtly. 

The chorus comes in and he drums along on the steering wheel as you approach some main roads, slowing down just a little. 

“Give me some rope, I'm coming loose, I’m pulling for you now…”

You smile as he seems to let go of whatever anger was brimming and his charming smile comes back as his enthusiasm grows. Eventually, after a particularly loud, “YEOW!” towards the end of the song, you have to let out a laugh. He glances over at you once he hears it, his eyes flickering between you and the road for a moment before he bites his tongue between his teeth in a playful way that makes your stomach flip. The song ends and another one starts, this one softer, a sweet melodic undercurrent as he drives. Danny taps his fingers softly against the wheel along with the melody like he’s listened to it a few times. 

You know the distance never made a difference to me…

It’s getting brighter as he drives, heading past the restaurants and bars lining the streets of Nashville, crowds and lines and not a single parking spot to be found. 

I swam a lake of fire, I’d have walked across the floor of any sea… 

You listen, not feeling the need to make any conversation, taking these little insights into his taste in music and running with them, putting the pieces together. You find these tidbits more valuable than if he were to outright start talking about himself directly to you. 

As you steal glances at him, you look around his car too. There are a few rubber ducks on the dashboard. One is a leprechaun, another is solid blue. There’s a bigger one that’s white with cherries. There’s one you think is Frankenstein, but you can’t quite tell. 

He has some chapstick in the center console under his phone, a stick of Palmer’s cocoa butter lip balm. He has a friendship bracelet tied to the wrist closest to you, and the opposite has a thin gold bracelet and a smart watch of some sort. His jeans have a little faded indent that shows where he usually keeps his phone.

He flips on his blinker and pulls onto a side street, driving slower now through the suburban streets. As he pulls into his driveway, he turns the music down a little, looking at you while he shifts into park. 

He reaches for his phone, then the chapstick. He puts some on quickly and then offers it to you, holding on to the cap. You accept, swiping on a little before wordlessly handing it back. He secures the cap and then speaks. 

“Shall we?” 

You open the car door and jump out, fixing your clothes briefly before closing it behind you. He wraps a warm arm around you as he leads the way down the pathway to the front door of his house. 

“God, it’s fucking freezing.” He says, eventually taking his arm back so he can use both hands to put the key in and turn the knob.

As you wait for him to unlock his front door you can smell the sticky sweetness radiating from his clothes, mixing with the masculine scent of his cologne. He smells warm and clean and you want to bury your face into him to escape the cold. The wind is whipping your hair around, and cutting through the fabric of your corset top, sending shivers through your body. He pushes the door open and you’re instantly met with the heat of his home, bathed in warm amber lighting. 

He flips a few light switches and plugs his keys into a Marshall key rack, before kicking his shoes off and locking the door. He takes off his hat, and peels off his liquor covered pull over, giving you the smallest glimpse of the dark hair peeking from the top of his jeans. He tosses it onto his kitchen counter and it's then you see the thick black bands inked across his bicep. His t-shirt is tight across his chest, adorned with birds and a sunset motif, as he reaches for his hat, placing it back on top of his dark curls letting out a sigh of relief before looking at you. 

“So, drinks. What do you um– What would you like? I think I can make most anything.” he says, walking over to a small wooden bar cart against the wall. You unzip your boots and leave them at his front door, happy to finally have them off after all this time.

“Anything?” you ask, leaning your hip into his kitchen counter. “How confident are you in your mixology skills?”

He gives you a smug grin, “I’d say I’m pretty confident. I’ve been known to pour up a drink or two. No complaints so far.”

“Can you make a Martini? A good one?” you ask, pushing off the counter and walking over towards him. 

“Vodka or Gin?” he asks, sliding both of the bottles from their respective places. “Wait, are you a dirty girl?”

You send him a self righteous smile and lean against the cabinet next to him. “What do you think?”

“Okay. So, Gin it is.” he says, twisting the lid from the bottle. 

“Lucky guess.” you answer, watching him walk to the fridge to retrieve a jar of olives. He grabs a cocktail shaker and a few ice cubes on his way back to the bar cart, setting the items down to begin the process. You watch intently as he adds the Gin and Vermouth to the shaker, adding a healthy splash of olive brine to the silver cup. He places the lid on top of the shaker and starts to shake the mixture together over the ice. His arms flex as he does so, and you can’t seem to take your eyes off of him and his perfectly tanned complexion. 

After a few seconds he stops, pulling the frosty lid off and straining the mixture into two waiting martini glasses. He works precariously to skewer a few olives through toothpicks, dropping them into the glasses and extending the first one out to you. 

You take a sip from the cold glass, tasting the saltiness on your tongue. 

“Well, dirty enough for you?” he asks, sipping from his own.

“Mmhm. Just right.” you murmur. 

He leads you over to his couch, a firm black leather number with a few throw pillows and a blanket or two strewn about. You both sit, sipping at your drinks as he reaches over to grab a remote, turning on a stereo system that's clearly wired through the whole house. 

“Any preference?” he asks, pulling out his phone.

“Surprise me.” 

Music starts to play through the house, something much softer than you expected based on what he’d played in the car. You definitely didn’t take him for a folk rock kind of guy, but the more you think about it, he’s been full of surprises all night. 

You can feel your chest growing warm as the gin works its way into your bloodstream. His cheeks are a little more pink than they were, and since the removal of his jacket you notice his arms are a little flushed too. 

You look around his living room, noticing pictures on the wall of what you can only assume are his bandmates and he in various cities and countries. A few framed albums hang on the wall along with some artwork for color. However, the entire back wall of his living room is lined with guitars. 

“You play guitar…” the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. 

“Yeah, yeah. I do. Was my first instrument, though now I’m a drummer. Guitar was really my first love. What about you? How long you been playing?” he asks. 

“Oh, since I was eleven. Got one for Christmas and my parents got me some lessons. Just kinda clicked you know?” you answer, “Which uh– which one is your favorite?” you ask, gesturing your glass towards the guitars hanging. 

“Oooh, probably– Um, probably the yellow one, far left. I find myself reaching for it the most. Good little thing, lots of power if you know how to wield it.” he answers, sipping from his glass. 

You nod and look back at him, “So you love guitar but you’re the drummer?” you ask. 

“Yeah, I know, sounds backwards but, my brother, Jake, he’s…He’s way better than I’ll ever be. I fit on drums, you know? It works for us. Obviously.” he laughs, a dimple peeking out on his cheek. 

“Yeah, yeah I understand I almost played bass in my band.” you quip, tossing back the rest of your drink. You pull the toothpick of olives from the glass and pop one into your mouth.

“Are these blue cheese olives?” you ask. 

“They are, yeah. I like them in a Martini.” he answers confidently. 

“They’re really good. I love olives.” you reply, setting your glass on the coffee table. 

“So, you had your one drink. It’s the moment of truth…”

“Hmm… Might need another to make a really good solid decision, you know?” you say playfully, resting your head on the couch cushion and letting your eyes flick up to meet his. 

“I think I could do that…” he says, snatching your glass from the table and returning to the bar cart. 

“You know, you guys sounded really good up there. I was into it. I’m glad we got there when we did.” he says, shaking the silver shaker. 

“We?” you ask, wondering who he left at the show.

“Oh, yeah. I came with my buddy Sam. The one on the phone earlier. He’s the bass player in our band.” he says, pouring up the drinks. 

“I see, so you left him there...” you joke. 

“You heard for yourself he seemed preoccupied…” he laughs, and he’s right, he definitely sounded busy. 

“So you two are like, best friends outside of the band?” you ask, accepting the glass from his hand as he rejoins you on the couch, a little closer this time. He grabs a thick blue blanket from the back of the couch and tosses it to you with a gentle smile as he answers your question. 

“Yeah, I mean we were best friends before the band ever really existed. Just kind of solidified our friendship. Been quite a few years of craziness together.”

“And the others…They’re all brothers, right? Or is that just a rumor?” you ask.

“Yeah, all brothers, twins and then Sam who is a couple years younger. My age.” he says, sipping from his glass with a loud exhale. 

“Is that…weird?” you ask, a little hesitantly. 

“Not at all. I’m practically their brother too. Known ‘em my whole life. Wouldn’t be able to do this crazy on the go life with anyone but them, I think.” he says, letting his walls down just enough to let you peek in. 

“How many months out of the year do you guys tour?”

“Shit, a lot. We’re gone more than we’re home these days. Probably eight or nine I’d say. Either in the US, Europe, Mexico… Fuckin’ everywhere now. It’s crazy.” he says, staring off into the distance, his eyes locked on the small flame flickering in his electric fireplace.

“So you guys are pretty famous then...Touring that long… Even have random girls spilling their drinks on you at parties just for a single photo…” you wink. 

“Oh, do I detect a hint of jealousy from Miss Y/N?” he asks. 

“No, I’m not jealous… I mean, I’m the one sitting on your couch drinking Martini’s aren’t I?”

He laughs and shakes his head, tipping his drink to his lips. “I had to work for it, but… you sure are, sweetheart.”

“Did you think I wasn’t gonna say yes to drinks?” you ask, your eyes locking in on him as the alcohol swirls through your system. You can tell he’s feeling it too, letting himself become a little more flirty. 

“Wasn’t sure, was kinda touch and go there for a minute. I hoped you would agree. Could hardly take my eyes off of you all night. Saw you and… Yeah, I just had to talk to you.”

“You use that line on all the girls?” you ask, sipping the last of the frosty drink. 

“No, guys too, I don’t play favorites.” he smirks, biting the olive off of his toothpick with a wink. 

Fuck…

You smile and nod, biting your lip between your teeth as you feel color rush to your cheeks. 

“How does it feel?” he asks, his eyes trained on your lips, watching as you release it. 

“What?” you breathe.

He swallows harshly, “Nothin’...Nevermind.” he says, shaking the thoughts from his mind. “Well, drink two…Have you made up your mind yet? Am I as bad as they say? Are you dying to get out of here?” he asks, running his tongue over his bottom lip. He’s inched a little closer to you and you can feel the warmth radiating off of his body. 

“What if I say yes?” you ask, leaning forward just a touch.

He repositions himself, taking your glass and placing it with his on the table. He moves a little closer, mirroring your body as he rests his head on his hand on the back of the couch. 

“Well, then I’ll get us some water, get my head on straight, and take you home. Is that what you want?” he asks, his dark eyes boring into yours as he tilts his chin down.

“And if I say no?” you answer. 

“If you say no, then I…Make us another drink and we can keep talking and…see what happens…” he says, his voice trailing off, hoping you will take that option, and there’s no doubt in your mind which option you’re going to pick.

“What were you thinking about a minute ago? …Tell me.” you say, pulling your legs up and tucking them under you. 

He rubs his hand over his chin, nodding his head in agreement. “Your lips.”

“What about them?” you ask, feeling your heart start to pound.

“I don’t know, they’re just pretty. Wanted to know how it felt… watching you bite them.” he admits. He grins, unabashed. “Your turn…What’re you thinking about?” he asks. 

“I’m thinking…another drink.” He grins when he realizes you’ve made your decision. 

“I’ll make you another drink… But only if you tell me what you and Tori were actually talking about.” he counters as he stands, grabbing both of your glasses. As he walks away, you snicker softly. 

“Why do I feel like you already know?” you ask, standing to follow him to the kitchen island. He shrugs, his broad shoulders flexing a little in a way that catches your eye. You walk by him, exploring his kitchen. 

“I’m certain I was the subject, but something tells me her interpretation of what happened between her and I has become a bold departure from the truth…” he muses in a smooth voice as he pours. 

“It was a warning really…” you begin, standing in front of his refrigerator. There’s one pizza menu, a mostly unused magnetic notepad, and some photos. “She was letting me know that you’re very charming and convincing, but underneath it all, you apparently have zero respect for women.” 

He chuckles as he gently places the olive skewers in your drinks, unbothered by the retelling of Tori’s dramatic warning. You look at the photos on his fridge, realizing that most of them are of his family. They look pretty wholesome. 

“Tori and I ended badly because I felt that she was a bit too… immature, emotionally. She puts a lot of stock into social media and status and things like that, which just isn’t how I am. My life is on display enough already.” He says truthfully, pushing your drink towards you. 

“You have a sister?” You ask, looking over your shoulder, then back to their Old Navy catalog-esque family photos. 

“I do, yeah. She's my best friend… much to Sam’s dismay.” He says, sipping from his own glass and retreating to the couch. 

“That’s sweet…You two seem really close.” you say as you turn to grab your drink, following him as he takes a seat. 

“I’m not all bad.” 

He looks up at you, a devilish smirk on his lips. He tugs the brim of his hat a little, as if he wants to see you better. Taking a big gulp of your drink, you remove the olives and hold the toothpick between two fingers. 

“C’mere,” he murmurs, shifting his hips a little so his thighs are spread wide on the couch and patting his thigh. You flush from the combination of his eyes on you and the alcohol hitting your system. You put your glass down, figuring you’ve had enough, and delicately straddle him where he sits. Watching as he takes a sip of his own drink, you let out a little huff.

“Oh, I didn’t get to eat my olives.” you say, a little disappointed, turning to reach for your drink. 

“Here.” Danny’s voice is suddenly delicate as he speaks. You look back into his eyes and he’s got his own toothpick between his fingers. “Open.”

You open your mouth tentatively, then bite down on the bottom olive once it’s in far enough. He pulls the toothpick away and you chew gingerly, your smile a little coy. 

“S’good?” He asks, his voice still soft. You nod your head. “I feel like olives are hit or miss for a lot of people.”

“I love a good salty treat…” you say with a shrug, which earns you a boisterous chuckle from him. 

“You were a tough nut to crack but… you’re pretty fun.” He says, watching as you take a sip of his drink to wash the olive down since you can’t reach your own. You smile, your eyes slightly narrowed, wordlessly confirming that yeah, you’re fun when you want to be. 

As if he sees you’ve gotten a little bit of a big head over it, he decides to trip you up. He leans back and puts his drink on the end table before he speaks. 

“Why don’t you come a little closer and give me a kiss? I know you’ve been thinking about it.”

You lick your lips, a little nervous. He’s telling you to make the first move.

“Let me just get my pen…” you say, looking around. 

“What?” He looks genuinely confused. 

“Oh, for the NDA. Right?” 

As soon as you deliver the punchline, he’s pulling you in for a hungry kiss so fast you barely get a laugh out. His massive hand is on the back of your neck to keep you in place while the other has a grip on your forearm, again, keeping you in place. You moan softly in surprise but let yourself lean into him, steadying yourself on his chest with your free hand. You feel how damp his shirt still is from the drink he had poured on him. 

His lips are perfectly soft, reminding you of the chapstick he so graciously shared with you in the car. You tug softly on the grip he has in your forearm and he releases it, allowing you to push up for a breath of air. 

He, however, doesn’t seem to need any. He quickly buries his face in your neck, his mouth latching onto your throat, his tongue pulling the delicate skin between his teeth before he bites down with a bit of force. You can’t help the way your hips roll forward, your mouth releasing a sound you don’t even recognize. 

“Yeah?” He says, his smirk audible. 

“…Yeah.” 

He does it again and again, moving down your neck towards your clavicle, then the fullest part of each of your tits, leaving red bites and splotches as he goes. You’re breathless by the time he looks back up at you, his lips swollen and his eyes a little wild. He grins, his perfect, sharp teeth flashing in the dim light of his living room. 

You capture him in another kiss, this time lacing your fingers in his hair, carefully making sure not to pull at any of his perfect curls. You feel a little bit of the stickiness from the spill earlier and pull your hand away gently as hair gets stuck to your fingers. He breaks the kiss, taking a few shallow breaths as you watch the way his chest rises and falls. 

“…I’m a fuckin’ mess. What do you say to helping me wash this out of my hair?” He mumbles, his eyes looking over you in a way that implies he knows you’re going to say yes. 

“Oh, yeah. It looks like a two person job. I’m happy to help.”  You giggle softly before he pecks you on the lips. You lift from his lap, feeling your balance waver slightly as you get your footing. He’s on his feet quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind to steady you. 

“Think you’ll make it up the stairs?” He jokes, his voice soft, his lips against the shell of your ear. You laugh as he squeezes tight around you, leaning your head against his.

“You do make a strong drink… but I’ll be okay.” 

He kisses your cheek, sending you forward with a quick smack on your ass. 

You ascend the stairs, Danny following close behind. You can feel his eyes on you as you reach the top, and turning over your shoulder only confirms it. He looks up and meets your eyes, giving you a guilty smile.

He puts a gentle, possessive hand on the back of your neck as he guides you into his bedroom. It’s dark until he flips on the lights, the switch controlling two lamps on either side of his bed. He doesn’t stop there, though, continuing to guide you towards the bathroom.

Once inside, you’re met with a sparkling clean bathroom, an impressive shower that’s about as big as your bedroom, and a dual basin sink. He turns you around for another kiss, this time sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, his teeth biting softly into the skin. When he hears the whimper it conjures from deep in your chest, he does it again with more enthusiasm before breaking the kiss and leaving you wanting more. 

He steps into the large open concept shower, flicking the handle to start the water. There's chill bumps spreading across his skin from the coldness of the water and the tile beneath his feet. He walks back out as you lean against the bathroom wall, watching him as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing a fairly chiseled physique. His skin is pretty tan for February but you chalk it up to traveling and don’t think much of it. 

He presses the button on a portable speaker hanging from a towel hook behind you, powering it on. He slides his phone from his pants pocket and turns on the same music that was playing downstairs, before tossing his phone onto the counter and stepping over to a closet to grab another towel. He hangs it on the hook next to his and you wish that the sight didn’t make your cheeks grow warm. 

Steam starts to rise from the streams of water in the shower, and as you remember just how cold it is outside, you shiver wanting nothing more than to be standing under the scalding hot water. He breaks your trance by stepping in front of you, sliding his hand around your neck and pulling you in for a kiss. He pulls your bottom lip away from your teeth as he pulls away from you, releasing it with a grin. He runs his warm hands over your arms, feeling the chill bumps that have taken up residency. 

“You cold, sweetheart? You wanna get warmed up?” he asks, sliding them back up to your shoulders. His fingers hook into the the straps of your top, pulling them down over your shoulders to rest gently on your arms. 

“Yeah, got any ideas?” you answer playfully, toying with the button on his jeans. You free the button from the hole, and slide his zipper down before pulling them away. 

“A few right off the top of my head. Why don’t you take this off for me…” he says, sliding his finger down the center of your top. You reach for the zipper on the side, slowly pulling it down until the fabric breaks free. You let it fall to the tile floor, leaving you in just your black jeans. His eyes dart down to your chest and he sucks in a deep breath before letting his eyes meet yours. They are darker, deeper, and completely blown out with lust. 

He lets his knuckles just barely graze over your skin as they travel up your stomach and over your sternum, sliding across your collarbone and down around the fullness of your tits. His thumb just lightly grazes over your nipple, feeling the pebbled flesh beneath his finger tip.  

Your eyes flick to his lips, full and pouty as his fingers trace over your skin. You let your hands wrap around his torso as you press your lips to his, feeling his hands grip into your chest, with a firm squeeze. A whimper leaves your mouth and you can feel the smile on his lips. 

“These too?” he says, sliding his hand to the button on your jeans. 

“Mmhm…” you hum, letting him pop the button. You shimmy out of the tight black pants, just your thong between you and his hands now. 

“Red…How festive.” he snarks, sucking hard into your neck again. You roll your eyes but he can’t see, still it makes you feel better.

You slide your fingers into the front of his open jeans, silently asking him to join you. He pulls his pink lips away from your skin and kicks his jeans off, pausing and looking at you for a moment before sliding his dark colored boxers over his hips and down to the floor. Your eyes don’t leave his, but from your peripheral you can see that he is fully hard, and hanging heavily between the two of you. 

You swallow thickly, and he seems to notice, letting a smug grin spread across his face as he licks his lips. 

“Still a bit uneven, hm?” he says, hooking his fingers into the sides of your thong, and sinking to his knees before sliding them over your hips. When they hit the floor you step out of them, kicking them to the side. You feel his hands slide up the front of your legs, circling around to rest at the back of your thighs as a deep hum leaves his chest. 

His lips connect with your hip bone, kissing and sucking at the skin until a deep purple mark is left behind. You can feel yourself practically dripping with want for him, and you know if you two don’t get into the shower quickly, he will be your undoing without even properly touching you. 

He stands, grabbing your hand and pulling you into his large stone tiled shower, a freestanding tub just to the side. The second the water hits your skin you let out an audible groan, the goosebumps quickly disappearing. 

“Yeah? Not too hot?” he asks, pulling you under the spray. 

“Not hot enough…” you quip, raising an eyebrow. 

“Any hotter and we’ll descend into hell, babe.” he laughs, twisting the handle a bit further. 

As he steps under the spray to wet his hair you take the time to look at him. The subtle contours of his body, the way his muscles ripple as he moves, the stretch of his tattoo as he rakes his hands through his curls. Your eyes flick to his groin, taking in the sheer size of him, and of course you’re caught in the act. 

“S’not polite to stare…” he smirks. “You wanna hand me that body wash right there?” he asks, nodding his head to a shelf of products. You grab the amber colored bottle, ready to hand it to him but instead squirting the masculine smelling shower gel into your own palm. 

You rub it between both of your hands before pressing them both to his abs, starting to slide the soapy bubbles across his skin. “This okay?” you ask, locking eyes with him. 

“Fuck yeah, baby.” 

You continue sliding your hands around his body, traveling up and around his broad shoulders before sliding back down his slender frame. He presses his tongue into his cheek every time your hands slide a little further down, and after a few teasing attempts you let your hand circle around his fully hardened cock. 

He swallows heavily as you slide your soapy fist up and down his shaft, your eyes never leaving his. 

“Yeah baby, just like that, feels so good. C’mere…” he pleads, pulling your face to his and pressing his lips to yours. His tongue swipes against your lips before pressing into your mouth, your tongues playing a game of cat and mouse as your hand continues to work him. He groans as he pulls away from you, letting the water wash over him and rinse away the suds. You press a kiss to his chest, sucking the skin into your teeth to leave a mark of your own, but he stops you, pulling you away with a smirk. 

“No, no, no…Can’t this time, gotta wear a sheer shirt in three days. Gonna have to mark somewhere you can’t see.”  he says, tilting your chin up with his thumb. 

You purse your lips together before raising a brow. You sink down to your knees, feeling him brush your wet hair away from your face. You grip his cock in your fist once again as he leans against the cold tile behind him, his hand coming to rest in your hair. 

You lean forward, pressing a wet kiss to the tip of his dick, locking eyes with him before letting him slide past your lips and into your mouth. His jaw clenches as you stroke him, letting your tongue slide up and down the underside of his cock as the water pours down around the two of you. You slide your hand up his thigh, cupping his balls in your free hand as you take him as far down as you can. You swallow around him, and his hips jerk forward, a groan leaving his chest. 

You blink up at him, and seeing that he’s enjoying this is making you all the more aroused. His eyes flutter closed and you whine around him, causing his eyes to fly back open. 

“Oh, you want me to watch you, baby?” he asks, his hand gripping into your wet hair. You blink at him as the wet sounds of your mouth echo in the large shower. 

He clicks his tongue, “Of course you want me to watch you. I saw you on the stage tonight…Everyone fawning over you. Feels good doesn’t it, sweetheart? Having everyone’s eyes on you? It’s addicting huh, baby?” he pauses, jerking his hips forward, earning him a gag from your throat. “Fuck… It gets better you know… Bigger crowds, more people, more pressure. People fucking dying to meet you everywhere you go. My eyes are on you now baby. You’ve got my full attention.”

He fucks into your mouth again, a grunt leaving his chest as his words falter. Water is dripping from the ends of his hair down onto your face as his eyes stay locked on yours. “You looked so fuckin’ hot on the stage tonight, but you’re so goddamn pretty right here just for me.”

He slides his hand from your hair and cups your jaw, letting his thumb and fingers press into the hollows of your cheeks. You’re positive he can feel his cock sliding against his fingers as he moves in your mouth, and you feel like you might cum from this alone. 

“Fuck…” he groans, pulling himself from your mouth and quickly grabbing your hand to pull you up from your sore knees. 

“But I wanted–”

“Don’t worry baby, you’re gonna get exactly what you want…” he says, pulling you under the spray to warm you body for just seconds before spinning you around to face away from him. He pulls you tightly to his chest, his hard cock resting just beneath your ass. His right hand slides around to your front, his fingers sliding between your folds, feeling the wetness collected there. 

“You sweet little thing, you like sucking my cock?” he asks, swirling two fingers over your clit. “Answer me.” he says, before sinking his teeth into your shoulder. You jump at the contact and you feel a rush of wetness sweep over you. 

“Yes…” you breathe, unable to form a coherent sentence. You want him to do it again. You want it harder. 

“You did so good, might let you do it again…” he says, sliding his middle finger inside of you. 

“Oh goddamn, you’re so tight…” he groans, adding another finger as his palm works over top of your clit. 

“Danny…” you breathe, feeling your nerves come alive. 

“Yeah? You want more?” he asks, your heavy breathing echoing in the shower. 

“Bite me… Again…” you beg, “Please…”

“Oh, so sweet with your tight pussy and your manners.” he taunts.

His lips brush against the juncture of your neck and shoulder, pressing a hot, open mouthed kiss to the skin, letting his tongue swipe over it before sinking his teeth into you again. 

“Oh, fuck…” you cry out, clenching around his fingers as his tongue laps against the fresh bite mark. 

“Yeah? You like that? Want me to mark you all up, claim you as mine?” he asks, “Your pussy says yes, but what does that sweet mouth say?”

“Again…” you beg.

A hum leaves his chest, “Step forward, put your hands on the edge of the tub for me, gorgeous.” he says, pulling his fingers from you, and smacking your ass with his wet hand. 

You grip your hands into the white porcelain, feeling him step up behind you, admiring the red handprint he left behind seconds ago. You feel his hands grip into your ass, rubbing over the round flesh before sinking to his knees behind you. You feel his breath hot against your core, a shiver of anticipation settling deep within your bones. 

His hands grip into the meat of your thighs before his mouth connects with your core, his hot tongue lapping at your entrance. The sounds echoing off the walls are lewd, but the euphoria washing over your body is all consuming. His tongue flicks over your clit and you find yourself arching your back to grant him easier access. His hand travels up the inside of your thigh, his thumb finding your clit and flicking across it as his tongue toys with your opening. You groan into the empty tub below you, your knees growing weaker with every movement of his tongue. 

“Danny…” you plead, knowing your orgasm is approaching. 

The wet sounds of his tongue on your pussy are growing louder, and with a particularly loud suck you find yourself screaming his name. He hums against you as your legs start to shake, feeling his lips pull away from you and move to the inside of your thigh, he presses a kiss to the sensitive skin, before again sinking his teeth into you. 

Lighting strikes through your body, and you know your release is within reach. He runs his tongue up the inside of your thigh, pressing a kiss to the tender bite before returning his mouth to your core. 

“Danny…Danny please… please…” you beg.

You feel him smile against you, “You sound like my fans, baby…You don’t have to beg…” he pauses, sucking your clit into his mouth.

He brings both of his hands to your ass, squeezing the skin as he lets his teeth gently graze your clit, sending you straight over the edge. A string of indiscernible curses leave your mouth, strung together beautifully with his name woven inbetween. 

He holds you against the tub, not letting your body crash to the ground as it so badly wants to do. He works you through your release, his tongue slowing as he feels you start to come down. 

“Guess I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of a rockstar cumming on your face…” he jokes, running his nose up your spine as he stands behind you. 

You huff out a laugh, still trying to catch your breath. “Yeah?” you pause, “And which end do you prefer…”

“This one.” he says, delivering a harsh smack to your ass cheek. You yelp in surprise, and feel another rush of wetness to your core. 

He kisses your shoulder again, breathing in deeply as he fists his cock behind you. “Wanna fuck you, baby…”

“Last chance for that NDA…” you joke, quickly feeling him press you back down onto the ledge of the bathtub, the head of his cock brushing at your entrance. He presses into you, sliding in quickly from the wetness accumulated. 

Your once playful demeanor has rapidly changed gears at the fullness you feel inside you. You tighten around him as you feel his groin pressed to your ass, the coarse pubic hair at his base brushing against your opening. 

His hand rests on your shoulder as you feel him start to pull out just long enough to slam back into you. 

“Oh, fuck…” he breathes, the tightness of your pussy suddenly a little too much for him. He slides his hand down your back, both hands now gripping into your hips as he moves in and out of you, setting a fairly quick pace. 

Your tits bounce against your chest as your hands grip into the tub, whines floating from your lips as his cock crashes into your cervix. You gasp each time, and you think that's what's spurring him on, but by this point he knows that you may possess a few masochistic tendencies.

“Goddamn you’re so gorgeous, perfect fuckin’ body, perfect tight pussy…” he grunts, the hot water still streaming down over the two of you. 

“Tell me what you want.” he demands, “Want you to cum on my cock.”

“Harder. More…” you plead, the sound of your wet bodies slapping together, inching you both closer. 

He leans over you, his hands sliding up your back to rest on your arms. You feel his lips trail up your spine, kissing into the soft skin at the juncture of your neck. “Yeah, you want more?” he growls against you, biting into your skin harder than he has. 

You feel his perfect teeth sink into you, the harsh sting sizzling through you like fire. He groans into your neck with his lips still attached to you and you feel a rush of warmth trickle down your skin. A drop of crimson red blood drips onto the tile below you, quickly washing down the drain.  

A whine leaves your chest, the pressure in your groin building as his tongue laps over the broken skin, hot and wet. His hips snap into you a little harder and a little tighter, and it’s evident to you that maybe he has a few kinks of his own. 

You feel a rivulet of blood trickling down your back, his hand coming up to spread it across your wet skin for only him to see, that is until his hand grips into the white porcelain next to yours. His hand is tinted red, and as he pulls it away to grip back into your hips, it’s a smear of bloody fingerprints that's left behind.

“Fuck…I’m– Hold on to the tub, don’t let go.” he says, spreading his stance a little wider behind you, but bringing one foot up to the edge of the tub for leverage. He drives his hips into you harder, a groan leaving his chest with each pointed thrust. “Baby…” you whine, only thoughts of him floating through your mind. 

“Yeah…Come on…” he grunts, his hair dripping onto your back. 

“I’m–”

“Yeah, give it to me. Cum for me so fuckin’ sweet and pretty, god I love it…” he says through gritted teeth. 

“Danny–” you warn, fluttering against him. 

“Yeah right, there, oh fuck…” he whines, as you clench around him.

A loud cry leaves your mouth, his cock still working against your g-spot as you fall apart around him. You feel like you're floating around the room in a thousand pieces, falling back down perfectly into place as he moves inside of you. 

“Danny…” you breathe. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful, gonna cum, baby… You want that? You want my cum?” he asks, his hips starting to stutter.

“Please, yes… My mouth… In my mouth, I want you…” you plead. 

“In your mouth…Fuck…” he says, still pumping into you. “I want your pussy so fucking bad baby, but god you’re so pretty with my cock in your mouth.” he pauses, “Fuck it, get on your knees.” he says, pulling out of you, and continuing to rapidly stroke his glistening, wet cock. 

You drop to your knees again, ready to take what you were promised earlier. You pull him into your mouth, your eyes rolling back in your head as you fill your throat full of him. 

“Mother fucker…” he groans, snapping his hips into you. His hand reaches down palming at your tits, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You whine against his cock, and that pushes him to his finish. He swiftly pulls himself from your mouth, pumping his fist over his cock as you peer up at him with your mouth open, and your tongue presented to him. 

“You want my cum, fuck… Take it… Fuckin’ take it.” he grunts, his hot release shooting into your mouth, landing on your tongue. It drips from your lips, rolling down your chin in bitter salty streams, and as he stares at you with a heaving chest you know that both of you need more of each other. Your mouth is full, his hot cum dripping down your chest as he releases his cock from his hand. 

He cups your chin, rubbing his thumb over your cheek with a smirk, before letting it drift into your open mouth, nodding at you to close your lips around it. You close your swollen lips and swallow down his cum with a flutter of your eye lids. It's warm as it slides down your throat, the taste of him unique, causing you to hum. Your tongue toys with his thumb and he pulls it from your lips with a pop. 

He drags his thumb up your throat and over your chin, collecting the drip that had fallen, before returning his thumb to your lips, and smearing it across the puffy pink skin. You lick your lips in response, and you watch as he crouches down in front of you, meeting you at eye level. 

He presses his lips to yours, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, tasting the remnant of himself on your skin. His hand settles on the side of your neck, pulling you in a little closer and deepening the kiss before pulling away. 

He stares at you with a satisfied smile, and you’re sure you’re looking just as blissed out as he is. 

“Stay here, tonight.” he breathes, rubbing his thumb over your throat. 

“You sure?” you ask, placing your hand on his wrist. 

“I’ll wash your hair and we can order a pizza?” he smiles, trying to sweeten the deal, as if you’ll say no. 

“With pineapple? Or is that a deal breaker…” you counter. 

He smiles his perfect smile and kisses your forehead, helping you stand and escorting you back to the streaming hot water. 

—

After an ironic heart shaped pizza, with pineapple, a glass of red wine and a few laughs, you find yourself being ushered back upstairs with the swat of his hand. He leads you into his bedroom before disappearing back into his bathroom, his queen size bed perfectly made with fluffy beige sheets and feather pillows, and you want nothing more than to melt into them. He was kind enough to lend you a t-shirt and a pair of sweats after your shower, but as you make your way towards the bed you find yourself wanting to slip out of the clothes all together. You kick off the sweats and are left in just his t-shirt and a pair of his boxers.

He emerges from the bathroom, his curls disheveled around his face without any product to keep them together. “I uh, I don’t know if you want this… I dug around in my cabinet and found this from the last time I went to the dentist, but it’s new, and I am honestly shocked I found it, but it’s all yours if you want it.” he stammers, offering you a toothbrush. 

You take it from his hands, pulling it from the cardboard packaging as you follow him into the bathroom. He places himself in front of the sink, grabbing his black electric toothbrush, and the tube of toothpaste. He wets his toothbrush, and unscrews the lid, ready to squirt the paste onto his brush, but stopping and turning to you first. You hold out the toothbrush and let him squeeze a line of toothpaste onto the bristles, giving him a smile before he turns back to his own. 

You stare at yourself in the mirror as you brush your teeth, reading the letters ‘CME’ on the gray t-shirt, and smiling because you’ve always wanted to go there. You catch his eyes in the mirror, watching him brush his own teeth, wiggling his eyebrows at you as he stands in just his black sweatpants. Your eyes flick down to the V of his waist and you find yourself brushing a little harder as you recall the events of the evening. 

He smiles around his foamy toothbrush, likely having the same thoughts, before turning the water on to spit into the sink. You do the same, rinsing your mouth with water and placing the brush on the counter.

“Do you want me to toss this in the morning or…” you ask. 

“Oh, no, you can uh… You can just use it next time I guess. I can keep it here or something.”

“What makes you think there’ll be a next time?” you snark, raising your eyebrows in challenge. Your eyes suddenly catch sight of the bloody handprint left on his pristine white tub, and your breath catches in your throat. 

“Should I call my lawyer back? I already had him working on that NDA.” he says through a laugh, turning off the bathroom light and smacking your ass as you cross the threshold into his bedroom. 

He pulls down the comforter, letting you slide into the ice cold sheets before sliding in after you. You shiver a little, but not for long. He snakes his arm beneath you, wrapping it around your shoulder, and pulling you to lay half way on top of him. He twists his legs with yours, and you can feel his semi hard dick hiding just beneath his sweats. You raise an eyebrow at him, and he laughs. 

“I’m not sorry, who knew you would be so fucking cute brushing your teeth in my t-shirt?” You roll your eyes and lay your head down, the amber glow of his lamp illuminating the room.

“I mean it, though. I’d like to do this again.” His voice is almost boyish as he looks over at you from his side of the bed. You grin, nodding in agreement as your heavy eyelids make your blinks long and slow.

He grabs his phone from the nightstand, and turns down the brightness. As he unlocks his phone you see the background is a photo of his mom, his sister, and himself, on a beach somewhere. 

“They don’t live here…” you ask, but it’s not a question. You already know the answer.

“No.” he answers, his voice solemn. “They’re in Michigan.”

“You miss them.”

“Yeah, but I’ll see them soon. I think they’re gonna come down for a show. Just been too long this time. Gonna take my dad golfing, I think.” he says, opening his texts, and though you're trying not to look, you can’t help but notice that his inbox that you assumed would be full of unsaved numbers and girls names, isn’t. In fact there’s hardly any. 

He clicks on an unread message, laughing as he reads it. 

Jake

7:05pm: You still coming over later?

Jake

8:11pm: You prick how the fuck do you have plans, we aren’t even supposed to be here

Jake

9:17pm: Nevermind 😎

“How many friends did you ditch tonight?” you laugh. 

“Ehhhh, listen… Jake– He– I would have been stuck there until 3 in the morning if I went, I much prefer how my night turned out.” he giggles, sending back a skull emoji.

He opens the next thread and sighs, clearing his throat and rubbing his fist into his eye as he responds. 

Sista ✨

9:34pm: Happy Valentine’s Day, miss you! Love you & see you soon!

Danny

1:04am: Happy Valentine’s day, love you 💐

You feel your heart warm a little at the message, and you realize that maybe these girls that warned you, really didn’t know him like they thought they did. Sure he has a bit of an ego, maybe he’s a little cocky, but you kinda like it. He gives you a run for your money, and apart from the insanely hot sex earlier, he’s been a perfect gentleman. Kinda the best of both worlds if you think about it.

He locks his phone and tosses it on his nightstand, rolling over to his side and pulling you into his chest. You can smell the body wash you washed him with earlier still lingering on his skin, and as you breathe in the smell of him, and feel the warmth of his body against yours, he wraps his arms around you kissing your shoulder atop the deep red mark that his perfect teeth left. 

—

When the morning comes, you’re woken up by the natural light in Danny’s bedroom and a dull throbbing in your head. He’s rolled over, facing away from you as he sleeps peacefully on his clean, white sheets. 

Reaching for your phone, you suppress a groan at the soreness that radiates through your body. It's late morning and you have a few texts waiting for you already. The first is from your best friend, who you’re assuming went home with the guy she met. There’s an attachment and from the preview you see it’s a film strip, so you assume it’s a sneak preview of the photos she took of you at the show.

When you open the picture, you quickly realize you’re wrong. There are a few strips laid on the table, the first of which are a few provocative photos of her in a bralette and then wrapped in a scarf of some sort. The strip underneath has pictures of people you don’t recognize at first, but as you zoom in on the third frame, you see… Danny? Then, a text comes through asking if he was the guy you were hanging around with the night before.

Danny starts to stir in bed next to you, stretching and rolling over. He seems relieved when he lays eyes on you and sees you’re still there. You roll a little closer to him on your side, holding up the zoomed-in photo.

“Is this you?”

He lifts his head a little, craning his neck and squinting his eyes to get a better look. 

“Uh, yeah. Where’d you get that?” His voice is hoarse and sleepy, and you wonder if he’s feeling as rough as you are after the night you shared. You can’t help but smile as you look harder at the photo.

“I think my best friend spent the night with yours?” you say, pinching the screen and zooming out. There isn’t anything too lewd on the photos she sent you, but when he sees them, he puts the pieces together too.

“Oh, shit. How’d that happen?” He asks, putting his arm behind his head and laying back. You see the underside of his tattoo that wraps all the way around his bicep, your eyes drawn to the muscles you can see shifting under his skin.

“She was the photographer last night. In more ways than one, I guess.” you snicker, looking at the frames again. 

“If I would have known it was like that, I’d have taken some photos of my own…” he says, his morning voice making your stomach flip. He sees the way color rushes to your cheeks and he grins, rolling on top of you and sliding his hands up under the t-shirt you’re borrowing. You hum as he peppers your face with kisses, pulling the duvet over the two of you, in no rush to get your day started. 

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[gretavangroupie]

Exposure

Word count: 11.3k

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking. Smut: Kissing, Stripping, Photo Exhibitionism, Touching, Oral F!Receiving, Fingering, Oral M!Receiving, Dirty Talk, Breeding Kink, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex. Fluff.

A/N: Oh! Didn't see you there! Welcome to the very first installment of the four part Valentine's Day Mini Series I've been working on along with my pal, @sacredstarcatcher! We've had so much fun writing these, and we hope that you enjoy this first story in the set of four. We can't wait to share the rest with you! See you real soon!

You pull your jacket snug against your chest, your camera bag hanging heavy on your shoulder as you make the trek up to the front door of the house. You can hear music coming from the basement already, likely the bands warming up before the show starts. You sneak through the front door, breezing through the mostly empty house in search of the basement. Following the noise, you walk down the stairs and into a small swarm of people all bustling and busy trying to get things set up before the show. How you got roped into shooting a basement show on Valentine's day of all days is beyond you, although it’s not like you have anything better to do.

Your eyes search around for any sign of your friends but you know they’re probably either running late, which is not shocking, or busy unloading their gear outside. You typically never shoot events like this- well, this small, but a favor for your best friend was long overdue. You stand at a small table loading the film into your camera, her one begging request of her set being captured on film, about to be fulfilled. You look around for any other photographers but you see no one, and it’s then that you realize just how small of a gig this really is. 

You did your best to blend in tonight, donning the industry standard of black, but realizing now that it almost wouldn’t have mattered what you wore. You kept it simple with a black long sleeve shirt, and a pair of black leather pants, adding a heeled boot to give yourself a little extra height behind the lens. 

You grab an extra roll of film and shove it into your pants pocket before placing your camera bag beneath the stage for safe keeping. People are quickly starting to fill the small basement, and you’re thankful for this weeks’ cold snap, knowing that this basement would be sweltering otherwise. You pull your phone from your pocket checking for any signs of life from your friends, laughing as you see a ‘we’re running late’ text. Shaking your head you put your phone back in your pocket and start to check your settings, adjusting to the lowlight of the room.

The basement is fully packed at this point, the first band stepping on to the stage and starting things off with a blaring guitar intro. The lights dim even further, causing you to adjust your settings again, and you wonder if you need to grab your flash attachment. You feel a tap on your shoulder, a rush of nerves in your chest as you spin around to see who it could be. 

“Are you shooting film?” A pair of dark brown eyes asks, a look of genuine curiosity painted across the irises. 

You smile and hold up your camera, “Yeah, I am! How did you know?” 

A smile sweeps across his face, his long dark hair hanging well past his shoulders, but partially obscured under a red beanie. His cheeks are flushed red, either from the cold outside, the alcohol in his system, or the weight of his cable knit sweater. “I’m a bit of a hobbyist. Specifically film. I recognized your camera.”

“You did? This thing is pretty old.” you say, pulling your hair from beneath your camera strap. 

“Yeah, I have the same one. Mines the silver version though.” he says, leaning in closely so that you can hear him over the loud music. 

You look up at him, and nod, leaning back in towards him as you respond. “Oh really? Does yours have the battery door issue?”

His hand lays softly against your shoulder as he leans in closer, ready to respond but your attention is ripped away as you see your friends in your peripheral. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry, my friends just walked in and they are actually supposed to go on next.” you say holding up your camera to show your purpose of being here in the first place. 

“You’re fine, go ahead.” he smiles, pulling away from you and taking a sip from his seltzer. 

You send him a soft smile, taking a final look at him before turning to meet your friends. As you walk up to meet them you can’t help but to look over to where you were just standing, finding the mystery man gone. You scan the room as your friends talk at you, looking for any sight of him, but you’re snapped back to the present as they are called up to the stage. 

With a hug from your best friend and a kiss on the cheek she darts up the small stairs with a smile. “Wish us luck! And make sure you get my good side!”  

You make your way towards the front of the stage, checking your settings one more time as the band starts to play. Admittedly, they sound a lot better than they did the last time you saw them perform, and the crowd behind you really seems to be into them. You even notice a few people wearing their merch and wonder when that happened. Had you really been that absent?

You duck down as you work your way across the front of the stage, snapping photos of your friends as they play their hearts out. You quietly apologize to the people you block with your camera, taking a quick glance behind you with each step you take. About two songs into their set you’ve made your way to the opposite side of the stage, looking behind you only to catch a glance of your mystery guy, standing against the wall with his drink. 

You try to pretend you didn’t see him, but it’s no use as you trip over an electrical cord and make a complete spectacle of yourself in the process. However, when you don't collide with the concrete of the basement floor and instead are met with a pair of warm steady hands, you feel a sigh of relief hoping that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t see you trip after all. Turning to face your hero, you’re met with none other than your hobbyist.

A grin spreads across his face as he helps you to stand, one hand in his, and the other firmly planted on your camera. 

“Falling for me so soon? At least tell me your name first…” he jokes, letting go of you as you steady yourself on your feet. 

“Y/N…And thanks, I– guess they ran out of Gaff tape and I found the only cord not taped down.” you laugh. 

He smiles and shakes his head in faux disgust, “Rule number one, always carry an extra roll in your gig box for the ladies. I’m Sam, by the way.” 

“Well, Sam, thank you for not letting me fall in front of all of these people.” you laugh. 

“Oh, I was actually saving the camera… Precious vintage...” he winks, pursing his lips together. 

“Oh, of course. Yeah.” you stammer, suddenly feeling ridiculous. 

As if he can sense your distress he places a hand on your arm, “Wait no, I was kidding. Of course I was saving you. Let me– Can I get you a drink?” he asks, trying for a peace offering. 

“I think I’m kinda out of hands…” you laugh, snapping a photo as you focus through the viewfinder. 

“I’m not…” he counters, “Whad’ya want? I’ll grab it for you…”

You lick over your lips, deciding maybe a drink assistant wouldn’t be too bad. You turn over your shoulder as he leans close letting you talk into his ear. “A seltzer, I don’t care what flavor, surprise me.”

He gives you an understanding nod and turns on his heels, disappearing into the crowd.

You watch your friends start to close up their set and you compose another set of photos you think will be the shots of the night. 

“A drink for the lady…” he says, as he holds a drink up in front of the lens. You lower your camera and spin around to grab it from him, watching him crack the lid open before he hands it to you. 

“Prickly pear, huh…” you pause, taking a sip of the fizzy drink. “Did you know that was my favorite or just a lucky guess?”

“Well, I figured… you have great taste in cameras…” he trails off, taking the drink back from you so you can continue to shoot. 

You feel him lean into your shoulder, his warm breath on your neck. “The red light really does nothing for photos, does it…” he laughs. 

“No, and I’m half convinced that’s why they do it.” you retort. 

“Oh, it definitely is. Trust me. That and it looks badass.” he laughs, stepping back again. 

As the set ends you watch your friends leave the stage, ready to drink and party with the rest of you. The room quiets to a dull roar as the next band starts to take the stage, ready to set up their equipment. You lower your camera around your neck, letting it hang freely as you turn back to Sam. 

“You get the shot?” he asks, sipping the same Prickly Pear Topo Chico. 

“I think so, looks like I’ve got…” you pause, checking your dial. “Two left on this roll. Should probably change over before the next act. Here, smile.” you say, holding the viewfinder to your eye. 

He blushes a little, holding both of the drinks in his hands and giving you wide open mouth smile. 

You capture those last two images and hear the winder start to spin. “That’ll do it!” you say, dropping your camera around your neck and pulling the extra black film cartridge from your pocket. 

“Oh here, let me help you. You have your drink…” he offers, holding out your can. 

“No! You don’t have to do that, it’s totally fine, I’ve got it. Just need to find a table or something so I can–”

“I know I don’t have to, I just– want to. I wanna help.” he says, his eyes sweet and genuine. 

You think about it for a second, and consider that you really don’t have anything to lose. He wouldn’t be offering if he didn’t know what he was doing. 

“Okay, sure, I’ll hold your drink now.” you smile.  

His eyes are focused as he works to remove the used film, replacing it with the new roll as quickly and efficiently as he can, making sure not to expose the roll. He clips the door shut and makes sure it's secure before placing the camera strap back over your head, pulling your hair out from beneath the straps as gently as possible. 

“There. Perfect.” he says, a warm smile on his lips. 

“Thanks Sam.” you answer, offering his drink back to him. 

“You can call me Sammy. All my friends do.” he says, accepting the wet can. 

“Oh, are we friends now?” you ask playfully, all the while thinking that you might want to be a little more than that. 

“I’d like to think so. Or– I hope so. I think you’re cute, film camera girl.”

“Do you?” you murmur, holding the can to your lips. 

As if feeling a little shy, he ducks his head a little and licks his lips, “I do.”

Before you can reciprocate his sentiment the third band starts, and somehow they are even louder than your friend's band previously. The drums are blaring loud and you can tell they need their mics turned down about three notches. You take a few photos, figuring you can never have too much in your portfolio, but after a few shots and the crowd becoming a little too rowdy, you quickly decide you are done ‘working’ for the night. You lower your camera down and spin to talk to Sam, but you find he’s gone.

Your eyes scan the crowd for him, but again, you see no trace of the cream colored sweater or his red beanie in the sea of people. You do, however, spot your best friend off in the corner of the room being hit on by someone you know to be exactly her type. You lock eyes with her, raising a brow and she just smiles at you as she continues to talk to the tall dark haired man. 

Letting her have her time with him, you make your way back to the stage to grab your camera bag. You head up the stairs, grabbing a new drink from the bar area and again searching for any signs of him. You mingle with a few strangers, making pointless small talk about work and the latest gossip before excusing yourself to the bathroom to pee. As you wash your hands you sigh at the missed connection with such a thoughtful and good looking guy, but chalk it up to being Valentine’s Day and not wanting to fall into that stereotype. 

With your new friend gone, you decide to seek out some of your old ones. With your gear bag slung over your shoulder, you head towards the thick crowd in the main living room. As you make your way through, your neck cranes around the bodies in your way, searching for a familiar face. Looking out the back window, you see your friends near their band’s van. You push open the squeaky screen door and are greeted with a harsh gust of freezing cold wind. You retract, and before you can regain your senses, you hear someone calling your name from a little ways away. 

When you get your eyes open, Sam is standing against the side of the house, exhaling a puff of smoke. He’s giving you a sweet, closed lipped smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners. You feel a few butterflies in your stomach as you take in his sweet face, relieved that he’s happy to see you hasn’t disappeared like you thought. You approach him with a sweet smile, holding on to your bag strap with both hands while your main camera hangs around your neck.

“It’s cold as fuck out here.” You say honestly, suppressing a grin. He nods, taking another inhale off the cigarette between his fingers, his smile making it a little difficult. “I thought you left.” you add while he exhales the smoke away from your face.

“What, without you?” He says with a quirked brow and a playful smolder. You laugh, stunned silent by his charisma. He realizes and laughs it off, reaching towards you. “You need a hand taking that stuff to your car?” He asks, dropping his cigarette onto the lawn and stepping on it. He offers you a hand and you willingly offer up your bag, even though you really don’t need to. 

“I didn’t really feel the need to get any more photos of the third band. I didn’t think the headache was worth it.” You say, a little tongue in cheek as you walk. Sam laughs loudly once, like it slipped out, then shakes his head looking at the ground in front of him. 

“I was trying not to be too judgmental but, yeesh. They’re really something, aren’t they?” You laugh and pop open your trunk and he sees inside as he puts your bag in.

“You have a Pentax too?” He asks, seeing the other bag you left in the trunk.

“I do. I have a couple lenses for it, I use it when I shoot… bigger stuff.” You say, not trying to sound braggy. 

“That sucker is heavy though. You must be jacked if you’re holding it up for an entire show.” He jokes, reaching for your bicep and squeezing twice. You flex a little, giving him a wink before you break character and laugh with him. You pull your camera from around your neck and slip it into its case.

“No but, I uh, I have a couple lenses too. I have a pretty big collection… It’s actually getting a bit out of hand at this point. If you ever want to borrow anything...” He mentons, helping you close the trunk. When he reaches up, his sweater rides up a bit and reveals that he’s got a white shoestring laced through the loops of his pants like a belt.

“I’d love to check it out,” you say honestly, rubbing your arms to try and warm up. The wind is brutal but the conversation is worth freezing for.

“This may be a bit forward… but the weather sucks, this music sucks… We could go have a drink at my place and I could show you?” He offers, shrugging a little bit. 

“Well…” you start, looking over at the van on the other side of the yard. Your friend seems to be deep in conversation with the guy who was helping her load up, so you’re sure she won’t miss you if you slip away. “Okay, yeah. Let’s go.” 

“Two things, though. One, we have to take your car, since my friend was my ride. Two, I’m driving, because you’ve had a few.” He says, giving you a boyish smile and holding out his hands so you can put the keys in them. You eye him with playful suspicion for a moment, but then figure you’ve got nothing to lose. 

“Fine.” You flick open your car key and offer it to him between two fingers with a grin. 

As he gets in, you can’t help but micromanage his actions with your car as you buckle your seatbelt. “The emergency brake is down by your left foot, and just ignore the light on the dash.” 

“I guess I should have told you that I have, indeed, driven a car before. I’m qualified.” He says, starting it and adjusting the mirrors. He’s a good bit taller than you, so he cranks the rearview upwards quite a bit. You roll your eyes at his comment, letting the radio play quietly rather than anything from your phone for fear of judgment. 

“There aren’t any street lights on these back roads. You should put the high beams on.” You comment, looking over at him for a moment, taking in his side profile. He cracks a wry smirk and flourishes his hand, turning them on.

“You’re kinda bossy, aren’t you?” He asks, not looking away from the road. You snicker softly.

“When I want to be.” 

Before he can say anything in response, his phone starts to buzz in the center console. He reaches for it, swiping quickly across the screen to answer the call from a contact named Danny.

“Daniel!” He shouts, putting the phone on speaker. Without hesitation, you take it from him so he can use both of his hands and drive. He doesn’t object as the voice from the other end of the phone pipes up.

“Where’d you get off to?” 

“Uh, I left. Are you good to get home?” Sam answers, flipping the brights off when a car drives by on the opposite side of the road. He puts them back on once the coast is clear.

“I’m fine, yeah, just checking in. Didn’t know you left. You bag that chick you were chatting with?”

You huff a laugh and look over to Sam shaking your head. Is this really how guys talk on the phone?

“Daniel, a lady doesn’t kiss and tell…” he jokes, sending you a wink.

“Right, are you going to that event tomorrow?”

“I had forgotten about it until this very second, but yeah. I said I would. Are you?” Sam says, and you pick up a bit of an accent. There’s a long A in forgotten where the second O should go. You smile softly as you watch the road and listen to them talk. 

“Hell no. Neither is Jake. You’re stuck with Josh and his girl. So, have fun with that.” Daniel says, and you can hear him getting into his car on the other end of the line. 

“Fuck. Alright, get home safe.” Sam says, sighing. They end the call and you’re more than tempted to ask him the meaning of all that, but he’s pulling into his driveway and the nerves start to take over, shutting you up. “Sorry about that,” he says, parking your car in his driveway next to his own. 

“Do you live by yourself?” You ask, getting out of the passenger seat. The wind is still strong and it chills you to the bone. Sam sees and picks up his pace as he leads you to the front door.

“Yeah, it’s just me.” he says, looking over his shoulder as he puts his key in the door. It’s warmly lit inside his house once he steps inside and flips on the lights. There’s an array of musical instruments scattered about as soon as you enter, amps and drums and guitars either hanging on the wall or resting against each other. You raise your brows, looking over at him.

“You’re a musician, too?” You ask as he puts your keys on the cabinet near the front door. There are sliding doors across the front that are opened just slightly to reveal a substantial vinyl collection. 

“I have many hobbies.” 

You smile as you follow him through the house, looking around at the art covering his walls. It smells like incense and it’s warm- a little warmer than you would keep your house, but it’s cozy. 

“I keep everything in here,” he starts, flipping on the lightswitch in one of the bedrooms. It’s furnished with a daybed, like a guest bedroom, but the opposite wall has a desk and shelving full of cameras, cases, lenses, accessories, attachments galore. You raise your brows, surprised, but mostly impressed.

It’s a solid half hour that you spend going item by item, gently looking over everything he’s collected, from vintage to like-new, functioning and under repair. He makes a point to tell you where he got each one, the quirks and intricacies of them all. 

“That one’s really my favorite for portraits,” he says as you look over a lightweight film camera with a noisy lens, clicks filling the room. “She’s got a way about her that makes everyone look good, you know?” You nod, looking it over, peeking through the viewfinder.

“I dunno, I might be a lost cause.” You say, a little self deprecating. He sucks his teeth at you in playful disappointment.

“I just mean that, you know, as photographers, there aren’t many photos of us. I don’t think I’d know how to pose myself for a portrait.” 

“Well, you don’t pose yourself, silly.” He says, looking up at you, not lifting his head and moving only his eyes. There’s a little smirk on his lips. “We should try it.”

You give him a suspicious look, laughing nervously. 

“I look like a mess from the wind and… I’m hardly wearing any makeup..” You say, starting to rattle off excuses as your cheeks heat up.

“So? You look perfect. I don’t want to take… fuckin’ headshots. I want to capture you. This version of you, the pretty photographer that I’ve spent my evening with.” 

The two of you lock eyes for a moment, his honeyed irises so warm and kind and sweet that you probably can’t say no to him if your life depended on it.

“Okay.” 

That’s how you end up in his sunroom, sitting patiently on his couch as he gets set up, sipping a glass of wine. The room is full of plants and you brush your hand against the burnt orange velvet upholstery of his couch underneath you. You watch him move around the room, pushing the ottoman out of the way, adjusting the throw pillows on the opposite end. He reaches behind his head and pulls his thick sweater off, his shirt riding up to show that little shoestring belt and this time, a light dusting of hair above the waistband of his pants. He tosses aside the sweater, leaving him in a white t-shirt. You swallow a gulp of your wine, feeling a little warm.

“I like how you said, ‘as photographers,’ like you looped me in there with you,” he muses. “You’re a professional. I don’t belong in the ranks with you.” He says, grinning as he uses an app on his phone to mess with the lighting from the lamp in the room. It’s a hazy, warm light when he’s done, absolutely flattering to the eye, so you can only imagine how it’s going to look when he captures you.

“If you take pictures, and you enjoy it, you’re a photographer. I don’t think it’s fair to gate keep art of any kind, or… something that brings people joy, you know?” You say, watching as he grabs a cream colored, cable knit throw reminiscent of his sweater and drapes it behind you. 

“That makes sense. Not all photographers are as humble as you, though.” He says, looking down at the camera and making some adjustments. He holds it up and looks at you, then he pulls it away. He looks again, then he hums like he’s thinking about something.

“This black shirt is kind of one-dimensional. I feel like it’s swallowing you up, you know? I feel like there's too much contrast with the colors in the room.” 

You sip your wine and think for a moment, looking around. He’s probably right. 

“What do you think about green?” you ask, leaning forward, placing the wine glass on the table in front of you. 

“Do you have another– oh…” he starts, but is effectively silenced when you start to pull your shirt over your head. Underneath, you’re in a sage green longline bralette, the band of lace under your chest covering a good two inches of your waist. It’s not too revealing and from the shoulders up, it probably looks like a shirt. You shake out your hair and look up at him, tossing your shirt aside.

“Does that look better?” You ask, smirking at his reaction, pretending to be all business. He looks at you through the viewfinder and you hear him clear his throat.

“Much better. Yep. Uh huh.” he says, hiding his face behind the camera, but you know he’s looking at you. “Sit up for me?” 

You adjust the way you’re sitting, sitting up straighter. He lets the camera hang around his neck as he approaches you, reaching out to gently position you. He puts your hand in your lap, then gently pushes some hair behind your shoulder. The other side, he wraps around his finger once, making sure it lays in a flattering way. He looks at you, not scrutinizing you, but deciding what he wants to do with you. His touch makes you feel like you’re on fire, his hands warm and so gentle, his motions purposeful and confident despite the delicate way he handles you.

He crouches down in front of you, holding the camera to his eye, and you feel a wave of panic wash over you. You suddenly feel exposed in front of the lens, and it must be evident on your face as he moves his finger from the shutter release and lowers the camera from his eye. “You feel nervous.” he states with the nod of his head. 

You shrug ever so slightly, finally feeling the nerves your clients tend to feel. You try to shake it off, but Sam, ever perceptive, pulls the camera from around his neck and sits it next to you on the couch. He pulls his own shirt over his head, leaving him in the same state of undress as you are. “There. Even?” he asks with a cheeky smile. 

You smile and nod, doing your best not to stare at the small smattering of a happy trail at the top of his pants. You bite your lips together before looking back into the lens, hearing the shutter click and the film wind. He brings his hand up to your chin, tilting your face to the side with the gentle touch of his index finger. He pulls it back quickly, returning to the shutter button and snapping another photo. He hums from his place behind the lens, standing quickly and scanning the room for something. 

His heavy footfall pads across the room, snatching something from his piano bench before returning to his place on the floor in front of you. In his hands is a multicolored jewel tone pashmina, soft and worn, and clearly a staple in his wardrobe. 

“Can we try this?” he asks, holding it up against your skin. 

“Let me see…” you answer, grabbing it and draping it over your chest. With your torso completely covered you reach beneath it, pulling the green bralette over your head as he watches you with wide eyes. You toss it to the floor next to him, and reposition the fabric to just cover your chest as you lean back into the couch. 

He swallows nervously as he stretches up towards the couch, adjusting the fabric how he sees fit. Your stomach shows beneath the edge of colorful fabric, the curve of your breast just peeking from the top. 

“I– I think this is gonna be a good shot.” he says, looking at you through the lens. “Lean your head back a little more, and turn it to the side, just a touch.” 

You follow his instruction, knowing the angles of this shot have to be incredible from his place on the floor. 

“Perfect, I just…Didn’t want any shadows on your throat…” he whispers from behind the camera. You hear the shutter click, and a murmur of ‘fuck’ leave his lips. 

You stay where you are as he lowers the camera, his breathing picking up a little bit as he tries to remain calm. “Your skin is so…pretty…” he breathes, letting his eyes sweep over you. 

Your eyes connect with his, and in an act of insanity you pull away the pashmina, letting it pool at your side. His eyes can’t help but to flick down to your chest, his jaw dropping slightly before he notices and looks back up at your eyes. 

“We don’t have to–”

“Do you not want to?” you ask, settling back onto the couch. 

“No, I very much do.” he answers a little too quickly. 

“So go ahead. Capture me.”

He takes a deep breath, holding the camera to his eye and lowering it back down. He grabs your hand and places it gingerly over your chest, letting your fingers rest just over your nipple. He brings the camera back to his eye, and takes the photo. “Fuck you’re gorgeous.”

Your cheeks blush and you hear the shutter click again. 

“Sorry, but I think that's the prettiest shade of pink I’ve ever seen.” he says. 

You smile and shake your head, letting your hand trail to the button of your pants. You slide the button through the loop and pull the long zipper, until just the smallest glimpse of your thong is visible. 

You watch him swallow nervously again, focusing the camera on your hand as it lays across your stomach. As he captures the photo, you watch him try to recenter himself, knowing that he is probably just as turned on by this as you are, if not more. 

“Take them off…” you suggest, watching his eyes flick up to yours. 

“You sure?” he asks again, making sure you’re still comfortable. 

“Very. If you are, I mean.” 

“Lay across the couch. On your stomach.” he instructs, moving himself to sit on the edge of the chaise to your left. You position yourself against the plush couch, propping yourself up on your elbows, as you look back at him sitting behind you. 

“Yeah, just like that. Stay there. Look at me, beautiful.” he says, growing more confident. 

He leans forward, swiping your hair over your shoulder, giving him an unobstructed view of the curve of your back. And just as your eyes connect with the lens, he presses the button. 

“Perfect.” he breathes, lowering the camera again. He stands from his place behind you, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of your pants, pulling them gently down your hips until they rest at the apex of your ass. Your thong is fully visible now, only the floral lace resting against your hips. 

He moves back and you feel the couch dip as he kneels behind you, straightening the seam of the pants to rest perfectly in the center, his fingers brushing against your bare skin. You feel the goosebumps rise, and you hear the shutter, smiling as you know he’s caught the moment. 

“Are you always this responsive to touch…” he asks, sliding your pants further down over your ass, pulling each leg free until the leather fabric is in a pile on the floor. 

“No. Only when it’s really good…” you answer. 

“Lift your hips up for me, rest on your knees a little, and arch your back.” he says, kneeling on the edge of the couch. His hand slides down your back to assist you, and slides back up, stopping at the hem of your panties. Two fingers hook into the fabric, pulling it down just slightly as you hear the camera shutter. 

You can feel your arousal between your legs, not too far from where his fingers linger, but he releases your panties, sliding them back into place and letting his hand drift over the curve of your ass. He stands up in front of you, and you drop back down, stretching fully across the couch. You lay your head on your hands as you look up at him, watching him crouch down in front of you. He pulls a few pieces of hair over your shoulder, and moves your arm further up to reveal the swell of your breast as it presses against his couch cushion. 

“Pop your hips up just a touch...” he breathes, holding the camera to his eye. “Look at me, baby.”

You bat your eyes as you look at him, seeing the photo in the reflection of the lens as he takes it. 

His chest is heaving as he pulls the camera away, crawling towards you on his knees as he dusts his fingers over your spine. “You make an incredible muse…”

“A good photographer knows that seeing isn’t enough. You have to feel it.” you answer, melting into the feeling of his skin on yours. 

“I think I feel it too much…”

He slides his hand down your arm, grabbing your hand and pulling you back to a sitting position. He reaches for your wine glass, turning back to you and placing it into your hand. You bring it to your lips, but as you tip the glass a stream of red wine trickles down the stem, dripping rapidly onto your stomach. 

His eyes flick to yours, then down to the small streak of red against your skin, leaning his head forward and letting his warm tongue lap at the spilled alcohol. 

Your eyes close on their own, a breath leaving your lips at the feeling of his lips on your body. He pulls back from you, waiting for your eyes to open, and as they meet you can see he’s asking for permission to continue. 

You open your legs allowing him to move closer, and he takes that as his consent to move between them. He pulls the camera from around his neck, placing it gently on the couch next to you, before grabbing your wine glass and placing it on the coffee table behind him. 

His hands slide up your thighs, his eyes examining every inch of your skin until he meets the edge of your panties. His eyes meet yours and you nod, wanting nothing more than to feel his lips on your skin again. 

He hooks his fingers through the fabric and pulls them over your hips, tossing them to the floor with the rest of your clothes. He takes in a deep breath, lowering his face to your heat, but never breaking the eye contact he has with you. You let a hand slide through his silky waves, silently telling him you wanted this, and he obliges, pressing a kiss to your groin. 

You feel his tongue swipe up through your center, long and slow, hot and soft against you. You fist his hair at the contact, a hum leaving his lips as they vibrate against your clit. Your legs open wider, allowing him to hook his arms beneath your legs, pulling you down the couch to meet his mouth. His tongue works at your clit, flicking back and forth as wet sounds fill the air in the room. His cheeks are flushed as his wet lips suction around you, his brown eyes fluttering closed with every pointed lick. 

You can hardly tear your gaze away from him, your chest heaving as he brings you closer and closer to your release. Your hand reaches out to grip into the cushion, instead landing on the body of the camera next to you. It feels cold against your hand, and as you look at him you realize you might feel it a little too much, too. 

Grasping it in your hand you pull the viewfinder to your eye, positioning him in the frame as he continues to work you towards your orgasm. As his eyes flick up to you, he's met with the camera lens, hesitating momentarily before pulling an elastic from his wrist. He doesn’t cease his actions as he pulls his hair into a messy bun, resting low on the back of his neck. He places his soft hands on the insides of your thighs, looking up into the lens with his blissed out eyes, ready for you to capture the scene below you. 

Hearing the shutter, he grips into you harder, sucking your clit into his mouth with more force, desperate to get you there. His fingers brush your entrance, and with a carefully timed swipe of his tongue he presses them forward until his thumb replaces his tongue applying pressure to your clit. His fingers work inside of you until your legs start to shake with desperation. He replaces his thumb with his lips once more, the warm, wet sensation inching you closer and closer. 

You take a few more shots, hoping to capture the way his dark lashes kiss his cheeks, and the way his nose brushes against you so delicately. Knowing the most vulnerable shots are usually the best. 

He ruts his hips into the couch, desperate for some relief and the groan that leaves his chest is all it takes to push you to the edge. You drop the camera to your side, pulling his face to your body as your orgasm rocks through you. A pathetic sounding whine leaves your lips as his mouth slows, he pulls his fingers from you as gently as possible. 

You’re left a panting mess as you ride the waves of your high, but as you open your eyes and see him licking his fingers, you reach for the camera once more, capturing the act forever on film.

He stands, offering you his hand with a smirk. You can’t help but to notice that his fingers are still pruny and soft as you place your hand in his, letting him pull your shaky body from his couch. He bends over and snatches the camera from the couch cushion before pulling you down the hallway towards his bedroom. 

As you step over the threshold into his bedroom, you’re met with the dark walls and rich earth toned bedding. He drops your hand, and checks his film, before setting the camera on the edge of his bed. He grabs your hand again, and pulls you into him, snaking his other hand around your waist and pulling you close to his body. His eyes search yours before his lips crash to yours, a heady mix of cigarettes, red wine, and you. 

Your tongue tangles with his as his hands grip into your hips, his hardness pressing against your bare stomach. You pull away, locking your eyes on his as you fall to your knees in front of him. You slide your hands up his thighs until you reach the thin white shoelace at his waist, pulling the tip until it unknots itself and slides to the floor. You feel him reach for the camera, letting it hang around his neck once more as he watches you.

You unbutton his pants, feeling the brush of his length against your hand. You work quickly to pull the pants and boxers to the floor, letting him step out of them as you take in the sight of him bare in front of you. You lean forward to kiss at the smattering of hair at his happy trail but you’re quickly stopped before your lips ever make it there.

He grabs your chin in his hand, placing his thumb over your swollen pink lips, pulling the plump flesh down to expose your bottom teeth as the camera snaps the image above you. Your heart is pounding in your chest, and you can think of nothing but the feeling of your mouth around him. 

Unable to wait any longer you grab him in your fist, stroking him a few times back and forth as his eyes study your movements. You wet your lips in preparation for him, letting your tongue dart out to lick a hot stripe up the underside of his cock. 

He pulls the camera to his eye again, “Stay like that. Just like that baby. Look up at me.”

He rests the tip of his cock in your open mouth, snapping a few shots as he leaks onto your tongue, before tossing the camera to the bed. “Fuck, are you sure you’ve never done this before? You look so fucking gorgeous.”

You smile around him, closing your lips and humming in response. You let your tongue slide up his length, taking him as far back as you can the first few times before working into a steady rhythm. Your eyes are locked on his, a look of awe and desperation written into his features. 

His hand finds grip in your hair, moving with you as you work him, gentle whines falling from his lips as you swirl over his tip with each upward stroke. 

Swallowing around him he sucks in a harsh breath, letting you slide back up before repeating the action. You tense around him as you gag, your eyes blinking away tears wanting to continue. Your eyes roll back as you taste the saltiness on your tongue knowing he is nearing his release.

He pulls away from you, cupping your face in his big warm hands, his thumbs swiping away errant tears.  

“I– You’re– Get on the bed for me, sweetness. Wanna ruin that pretty cunt before I cum.”

You look up at him, swallowing thickly, a little shocked by the side of himself he just showed you. You take his hand with a grin as he offers it to you, standing and hopping up onto his bed, laying yourself back on his pillows. He follows you, leaning over to reach for the camera on the nightstand before doing so. He leaves it on the pillow next to your head, focusing all of his attention on you for the time being. 

He’s tender for a moment, leaning down to kiss you briefly before he situates himself between your thighs. He kneels above you, looking down at the sight before him. He traces a gentle line down your sternum, then back up, dragging lightly against the expanse of your clavicle, then back down once more. His eyes seem to roam over every inch of you while you wait patiently for things to advance.

“You…” he starts, a breathy laugh leaving his throat, like he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence. “So gorgeous.” 

“You’re sweet.” you respond, parting your thighs a bit more for him. He hasn’t stopped his feather light touches just yet though.

“Is that how you like it?” he asks, catching you a little off guard. Your eyes flick up to his and you can’t help the way you squirm a little at his directness.

“I…” you start, but he promptly silences you with a pinch to your nipple, pulling a wanton moan from the depths of your chest.

“Ahh. There she is.” He says, smiling. He lets go and leans down to give it a kiss. “Just trying to get a read on you.”

He palms your breast as he pushes back up, unable to take his eyes off of you. You watch the wheels turning in his head as he squeezes firmly, his eyes cutting to the camera next to your head. 

He picks it back up, adjusting it with lightning speed. He looks through the viewfinder once before reaching for your tit again, your nipple slipping between his long fingers. He snaps a photo, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth in concentration while the aperture adjusts, the settings on auto now to save time. 

“That artistic part of your brain just doesn’t turn off, huh?” you ask, reaching up to run a hand down his stomach, your patience running out.

“Blessing and a curse.” he mumbles, reaching forward into his nightstand. As he’s leaning over you, you can’t help but take a moment to place a few wet, searing kisses to his jaw and throat. You know they’re appreciated when he bucks his hips against you, his dick dragging against the inside of your thigh.

He sits back up, tearing the foil of the condom with little difficulty and flipping it over once or twice to check which way is right. He eventually distinguishes top from bottom and starts to slide it on, looking down in concentration. 

After he’s done, he leans down towards you, placing hungry, wet kisses wherever he can find purchase. He reaches between your bodies, taking himself in his palm and brushing the head of his cock through your folds. 

“Wait…” you say, and he rests his head on your chest for a moment, looking up at you with patient eyes. 

“Yes, sweetness?” he says, pulling back, unsure if you’re about to call the whole thing off. You take a deep breath, reaching down to touch him gently. 

“Can we take this off?” You murmur, your hand waiting to pull it off the moment he gives you the green light. 

“God, yeah,” he says enthusiastically, a little chuckle leaving him as you haphazardly pull the condom off of him and toss it by the wayside. “Absolutely. Fuck. I want to…” He trails off, like he’s about to say something else, but once you slip the tip of him inside of you, he can’t get a word out. 

He pushes in about halfway, stopping to settle and watch your reaction. You gaze up at him, reaching up to play with one of your nipples. He takes in a sharp breath at the sight before pulling out a little before he pushes all the way in, slowly. 

“Oh… oh my god,” you manage to get out, unable to help the way the words scratch their way out of your throat. Sam’s eyes are glued to your center, watching himself enter you. 

“Everything about you…” he says, taking a trembling breath, “...is fucking picture perfect.” 

You smile at the compliment and watch his face for a moment, the way his dark lashes move quickly with his blinking eyes trying to process everything at once. He starts to move slowly, the drag of him making your breath hitch. 

He fucks into you slowly, deeply, your head swimming at the sensation. It’s good, but it’s not quite enough, and you can’t help but speak up. 

“Sammy…” you begin, calling him by his nickname, like he asked, affectionately. “Harder. Please.”

He snaps his hips into you in response, giving you a dirty smirk from above.

“You’re a backseat driver in the sack, too?” he quips, moving back on his heels a little to change the angle and give himself more range of motion.

“Shut up and fuck me. How’s that?” you bite, grinning up at him. Before you can even prepare yourself, he snatches your wrists, pinning them above your head in just one of his big hands, your slender wrists slotted between his lengthy fingers.

He looks like he’s about to snap back at you, but then his eyes narrow a little. He reaches for the camera again, holding it against the side of his body to flip the switch and open the aperture. He lifts it to his eye and snaps a picture of his hand pinning your wrists together, the strap of the camera falling a little bit into the frame.

Once he’s done, he drops the camera again and braces himself with his free hand, picking up an almost brutal pace. You can’t complain, because it’s what you asked for, and god did he deliver. The sound of skin on skin, his body meeting yours, rhythmically bounces off the walls of his bedroom. You cry out at the feeling of him, reeling at the sensation of him so deep inside you. Warmth starts to build in your stomach, your head getting dizzy.

“Are you getting close?” he asks in your ear, slightly breathless. You whine in the affirmative, spreading your legs further as if you need him even deeper. He lets go of your hands, sitting up a little straighter but still thrusting into you hard enough to bring tears to your eyes. Your eyes start to flutter closed, your back arching, and you feel his hips stutter slightly as he moves a bit on top of you. 

There’s some clicking and you know what he’s about to do, but you can’t be bothered to change a single thing about what you’re doing. You reach for your chest, holding your tits steady as he pushes you towards the edge, waiting for the moment. 

“Gonna cum…” you warn, your brows knitting together. 

“Come on, beautiful. I’m ready.” he coos as it hits you, your lips parting, your head tilting back as you gasp for breath. You don’t register when the shutter sounds, but you feel the camera hit the pillow again and Sam’s got both of his hands on your waist, so you know he must have gotten the shot. 

He slows his pace, allowing you to catch your breath and come back down to earth. His hand slides up to your throat, running his thumb over your lips in the same manner he did earlier, but this time instead of letting him tug at your lip you suck his thumb into your mouth.  

“Fuck…” he curses under his breath, pulling his hand back and slowly pulling out of you. “Turn over for me.” 

You blink up at him, a little bashful, your eyes darting to the camera, then back to his. You try to suppress a grin and give him a little shake of your head.

“Do you trust me?” 

Feeling a little giddy, you roll over, pulling your hair over your shoulder before propping yourself up on your knees. You keep your face in his pillow, your eyes watching the camera laying near you as he presses inside you, the position allowing him somehow deeper.

His hands find your hips and as he starts to move, the grip tightens, pulling little hiss from between your teeth. You’re glad he doesn’t hear because you’d hate it if he stopped. 

“Gotta be careful…” he mumbles, his voice strained. “Feels a little too good.” 

You hum, a little laugh leaving you. He’s unlike anyone you’ve ever met, and definitely different from anyone you’ve ever slept with. His playfulness mixed with the dominance that peeks out on occasion is a potent combination you can’t seem to get enough of.

He uses his grip on your hips to pull you back into him, his pace slower, but the feeling of him nudging at your cervix with every stroke makes up for the change in speed. He rubs a hand over the curve of your ass as he slows down and releases his grip.

“Goddamn, that’s beautiful.” 

The camera disappears and you push up on your forearms, suddenly shy and nervous and feeling like a shot of that isn’t quite as artistic as the rest of your photos. You look at him over your shoulder, a little suspicious.

“No, no no. Your back, your hair on the pillow,” he reassures you, a warm hand on your back. You giggle a little, laying back down. He splays your hair across the pillow, then taps your arm. “Move this up under you.” You do as he says, one arm and hand under you, the other hand above you, fisted in the sheets. His hand drags slowly up your back before he speaks again. “Arch a little more. Like you were before. Yeah, perfect.” 

Click.

It lands on the bed, then he starts to move again. He groans, a bit louder than he has been, and you know he’s hanging on by a thread.

“Are you… Are you on birth control?” He asks, his voice slightly boyish in this moment. You can’t help but laugh softly.

“What, you don’t want to knock me up on Valentine’s day?” you joke, and he freezes. You wonder if you said the wrong thing for a moment, but then he speaks softly.

“I’m confident you won’t like my answer, sweetness.” 

It takes you a moment to understand what he means, and when you do, you can’t stop the words that fall from your lips. 

“Try me.” 

He pushes himself deeper into you, so much so he leans over and braces himself on his palm next to your face. He’s closer now when he speaks, his breath hot on your shoulder. 

“I’d love nothing more than to knock you up on Valentine’s day.” 

Holy shit.

“So no plans in November, then?” you quip, grinning as the weight of him pushes you into his pillow. 

“Mm, nothing too big, just a world tour.” he responds, thrusting a few more times. “Super flexible.” he grits out. You can’t help but giggle at his sarcasm, feeling him start to twitch inside you.

“The answer is yes, by the way. About the birth control.” 

“....It’d be cooler if you weren’t, but alright.” he jokes, his voice straining as his hips start to falter. You can hear him breathing through clenched teeth as his grip on you tightens. You tighten around him, arching your back just a touch more and as you drop your head between your arms, you see his hand frantically reaching for the camera one last time. 

You can feel the tension in your stomach tightening, his hand sliding up to your shoulder to pull you back to meet him. “There you go, baby. Keep squeezing just like that. I’m right there.” he says, and you can tell by the lilt in his voice he is waiting for you. 

You rock back, your bodies slamming together with a lewd smack, the sound itself just enough to tip you over the edge. You feel the rush wash over you as he pulls you in, wrapping his arm around your waist as his hips continue to move. He lets out a small grunt with each forceful spurt inside you, and you feel a wave of euphoria sweep over you as you realize he wasn’t joking after all. 

“Fuck…” he whines, pulling out of you. You can hear him adjusting the lens of the camera and you’re so caught up in your own bliss you couldn’t care less that he is documenting his work. You feel him rest his hand on your ass, palming your cheek to the side for a better view as he leaks down the inside of your thigh. 

The camera clicks, and just as you start to lower yourself down, you feel his fingers swipe up through the warmth dripping down your leg, stopping you in your tracks. You turn over your shoulder to look at him, his eyes completely fixed on you as he slides his cum covered fingers inside of you. 

“Just for good measure, huh beautiful?”

You hear the shutter click a few times, a few indiscernible mumbles of praise from his lips, and finally the thud of the camera as it lands next to you on the sheets. He pulls his fingers from you, tapping your ass softly as an indication that you’re good to relax.

The mattress shifts as Sam gets out of bed, his footsteps heading towards the bathroom. The light shines for a moment accompanied by the sound of running water as you wait patiently. He’s back soon after with a warm, wet washcloth, and he gently parts your thighs to start cleaning the mess he made.

It’s quiet as he tends to you, his breathing slowing down as he does. Once he’s done, he slips into bed behind you, pulling your back to his chest.

“So… what are you gonna do with those pictures?” you ask, the smile on your face audible as you speak. 

“Well, get them developed, I guess. But aside from myself and the poor person at the film lab, nobody will ever see them. Cross my heart.” 

“And me,” you remind him.

“Yes, yes. And you, sweetness.” Silence hangs over the two of you for a moment before he speaks again. 

“Will you stay?” he asks, a hint of vulnerability in his voice. You wrap your arms overtop of his where he’s holding you tight, nodding.

“I don’t think you could force me out of this bed.” 

–

You’re woken by the warmth of sunshine on your face. Blinking and trying to remember where you are, you refamiliarize yourself with Sam’s bedroom in the daylight. Your eyes clear and focus on the camera sitting on the nightstand. 

Sam is in a deep sleep, snoring softly with his mouth open, a few strands of his hair stuck to his face. You can’t help but smile at the sight before slipping out of bed and quietly sneaking through his house to collect your clothes strewn about.

You peek into his bedroom once you’ve gathered all of your belongings and he’s still out cold, only his feet poking out from beneath the sheets. Your eyes are pulled to the camera again, and then an idea forms. You tiptoe inside and carefully grab it, doing your best to remain quiet. 

Needing darkness, you head for the bathroom and wind the film. You duck into his other bedroom on the way and grab an empty film canister. Hoping it’s quiet enough to not wake him, you close the bathroom door behind you and wait a moment before taking the roll out and putting it in the black container. 

Once you’re done, you retrieve your keys from the cabinet by the door and grab an old receipt he must have just pulled out of his pockets when he was putting his keys in their usual spot. There’s a pencil on the music stand of the nearby piano, so you snatch it and leave him a little note. You write out your phone number, draw a little heart, and put the camera over the corner so you know he’ll find it. You silently sneak out the door and lock it from the inside behind you.

The drive back to your home proved to be shorter than anticipated, the light of day giving you a better sense of your location. You glanced over to the rolls of film laying in your passenger seat, taking mental stock on how many bottles of developer and Blix you had sitting on your shelf. It was times like these you were grateful for your little makeshift film lab, knowing that Sam said he would probably send these rolls off somewhere, and that some poor guy would have to see every lewd act appear right before his eyes. 

You snatched the rolls from your seat and grabbed your camera bags from your trunk before making your way inside to your warm house. Feeling grimey, you ran yourself through a quick shower, eager to see what was waiting for you on these rolls of film. 

Stepping into your lab you place the film rolls on the table, grabbing your Patterson canister, your chemicals, and your scissors to start the process. You trim the leads on the film rolls, smiling as you see your roll next to Sam’s. With the leads trimmed, you flip the light switch in your completely blacked out guest room, leaving you in total darkness as you pry the bottoms off of the rolls of film. 

You load the long slippery strips of film into the plastic spools, screwing the lid back onto your canister before flipping your lights back on. You grab your chemicals and make your way to the kitchen, running the faucet to heat the water bath. It’s been a while since you’d done this yourself, but the process was ingrained into your memory, and you were careful to not miss a single step. You drop your bottles of Developer and Blix into the water bath, grabbing your thermometer from your junk drawer. 

Your phone buzzes on the counter as you wait for the temperature to rise, your heart pounding as you see a new number flash across the screen. You make your way back to your lab, grabbing the canister off the table as your chemicals reach temperature. You carefully pour the developer into the canister, agitating it every few seconds while you read the message on your phone.

Unknown:

9:12am: Off so soon? And with my film? Should have known I’d never see those beauties. 😏

Your timer goes off letting you know it’s time to move on to the next step, so you set your phone down, ready to pour the developer out of the canister. Satisfied with yourself for not making a mess, you pour in the Blix, leaning away from the fumes as they waft through the air. You do your duty, agitating the chemical as directed, waiting the allotted time until it's ready to pour out. 

You debate answering him right away, trying to leave just a touch of mystery in the air. You decide that you’ll wait until the film is done, teasing him with a photo for his eyes only. 

You rinse your film with water to rid it of the chemicals, knowing there’s only a few more steps until you can see just how talented of a photographer Sam really is. You pour in your stabilizer, letting it sit for a minute, biting your lips together as you suppress the urge to text him back immediately. 

With a deep breath you pour out the stabilizer, and unscrew the lid, ready to see if the evidence of your night came out in the wash. With shaky hands you pull the film strips from the spools, seeing 36 clear images appearing on the transparent roll of sepia film. A huff of laughter leaves your chest, seeing the negative image of your body in the tiny rectangles. 

You suck your teeth as you hang the rolls of film to dry, knowing that in about an hour or so they will be ready to scan into your computer. 

—

It seems like it’s taking longer than usual for the film to dry, at least it feels that way as you check for the hundredth time. An hour and some change later you’re dashing back to your computer with the film, scanning it into Lightroom to start inverting the images. 

Your breath is stolen straight from your lungs as you see the first image. Your cheeks flame red at the sight of yourself, spread below Sam. You continue to click through the negatives, completely shocked at how good his composition is. You knew he was a hobbyist, but you start to wonder if maybe he missed his calling. You swallow harshly as you continue to look through them, but then you realize just how beautiful the photos actually are. You almost feel bad that you stole them away from him. 

You work through each image, inverting the colors until they appear as they really are. You note the vintage look on the film and check the empty roll for the date. You smile as you read ‘86, knowing he shelled out a good amount of cash for that roll, and he decided to use it on you. The film comes out warm and grainy from the low light, but you feel that it adds to the photos, and you can’t think of a better turnout. 

Your eyes catch on one photo, and after inverting the colors your suspicion is answered. The long finger shaped outlines on your hips were forever cemented in time. The memory of his grip burned into your mind. His body is connected to yours, and you can almost remember the feeling of him inside you as you look at the photo. You feel a rush wash over you, and you grab your phone tapping a few buttons on the screen until the camera opens. You bring it to the screen and snap the photo before attaching it to a text.

You

10:47am: *Attachment*

10:47am: I had something… pressing…to tend to. 😉

You snicker at your comment, hoping he will get the joke as you add his contact to your phone. You bite your bottom lip in concentration as you continue to work on the images, fixing the coloring and resizing them to the appropriate proportions. 

As you reach the beginning of his roll, you start to see images of daily life, with people you don’t know, but are clearly happy to be having their photo taken by Sam. Bright smiles and warm moments captured by his keen eye. 

Sammy

10:53am: Wow, um…

You

10:54am: I think they turned out pretty good, what do you think?

10:54am: *Attachment*

You attach another image of yourself draped across his couch, his pashmina spread across your body, the light hitting your throat exactly how he planned. 

Sammy

10:55am: You’re so gorgeous, I don’t even know what else to say if I’m honest. I have to see the rest.

10:56am: Do you…Need help? I normally send my film off to be developed but it would be cool to watch. 

As you click to the next image you sit in shock, trying to place the face next to Sam’s on his couch. You drop your phone to the table in front of you, trying to focus. You’re going positively crazy running through faces in your mind until it hits you. You take in the features and realize the man sitting next to Sam is the guy your friend was flirting with all night. Your heart starts to race as you make the connection. Is that the friend he left last night? Did she go home with him?

You blow out a deep breath and finish up the last photo of Sam and another long haired man, drinking foamy beers in what looks to be a foreign country. You smile at the bubbly mustaches on their lips and grab your phone to reply to his message. 

You

11:02am: You’re a really great photographer, Sam. These shots are really, really good. All of them. 

11:03am: If you really want to see the process you’re more than welcome to, kind of makes you feel like a mad scientist haha. I don’t have much going on at the moment, probably going to work on this next roll if you want to join. 

Sammy

11:05am: What are you up to tonight? I have a work event I have to go to, but I’ll probably dip out early, especially if I have a good reason. 😉

You

11:06am: I have to shoot a show tonight, but I’m free after that…

Sammy

11:06am: So…

You

11:07am: Bring your film and a bottle of red. I just might have a few rolls we can use while we wait. 😏

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[gretavangroupie]

Valor (Chapter 9 Part 2)

Pairing: Jake x Reader, Daniel x OC

Word Count: 15.5k

Warnings: Cursin', Smokin', Drinkin'. Angst: Struggle and Poverty, Abandonment, Jealousy, Mental Distress, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Weapons and Guns, Anxiety, Domestic Violence, Domestic Control, Physical Fighting, Threatening, Nightmares, Abusive Parents, Abandonment, Bodily Injury, Heavy Angst, Mentions of Suicide, Allusions to Shady Activities, Coercion, Betting, Big Emotions, Fluff. Smut: Kissing, Heavy Petting, Foreplay, Teasing, Oral F!Receiving, Fingering, Unprotected Sex.

Valor Playlist: Apple Music | Spotify

A project in collaboration with my talented co-writer and best friend, @gretavanmoon.

JAKE POV

It only took a few seconds to register that Danny was currently having a candid conversation with the man that Y/N had run away from, and only one second more to realize that he was now looking at both of you in the face. “Fuck, are you serious?” You mumbled to Y/N, refusing to break eye contact with Peter. 

“Very, very serious…” she replied quietly. You stood from your crouch and began making your way toward him and Danny. You felt your blood boiling, your muscles tightening with rage as Y/N pulled on your hand to stop you from whatever you were going to do. 

“Jake, wait… stop!” You heard her from behind you, completely ignoring her warning. 

“Stay here.” You demanded. Your legs carried you toward them, approaching with a vengeance. 

Peter’s expression was twisted up into confusion and disgust; you could see his lip curling as he sized you up. 

“Jake, what’s’a matter, you guys want a drink, or not?” Danny asked, his voice almost like he was telling you to play it cool. 

“I think it’s best we leave, Daniel. Now.” You barked at him, your jaw clenched. 

“Uh, why? I just ordered…my–”

You watched Peter’s glare focus on her still seated across the airport lobby.  

“Y/N?” Peter spoke low as it truly set in that it was her he was looking at. “What the fuck is she doing here? Who are you?”

“Wait wait wait… who the fuck are you?” Danny jumped in, holding his hand up and turning in his stool.  

“Oh, he didn’t tell you his name, Danny? Looks like you guys have struck up a nice conversation over here.” You spat. “This is Peter.”

Danny’s eyes got wide as he turned back to face him. “Oh, is it now?!”

Peter jumped back in surprise. “Yeah, and how the fuck do you know me, huh?” 

“Oh, don’t worry. Our girl there has told us all about you.” Danny retorted, his voice raising a little. “We know exactly who you are.”

“Your girl?” Peter threw his head back and laughed, making a scene of himself as he pounded his fist on the bar. “You’re fuckin’ kidding me, right? What, do you think you own her or something?”

“No. Nothing of the sort.” You glared at him, the rage running through your veins as he kept his eyes locked on her. “Hey motherfucker, look at me.” You snapped your fingers and jumped in his line of vision, essentially cutting him off from looking at her. “You’re gonna finish your drink, leave your money on the table, and go to the other end of the airport, you understand?” You threatened him. 

“Who the fuck you think you’re bossing around, kid?” He slurred, and you noticed that he was a few years older, and a bit more drunk than you had initially noticed. You stood stoic in your stance, daring him to disagree with you. You cocked an eyebrow. 

He shook his head and laughed, tilting his glass back to finish the rest of his drink. He then reached inside his coat pocket and removed a crisp bill from his wallet, slamming it down onto the bar top with a thud of his palm. He laughed in disgust again as he turned in his seat, slowly moving to walk away. 

You let him get a few paces away before you finally took a breath, watching as he placed his hat on his head, and walked away. 

“What are the fuckin’ odds?!” Danny asked as you both regained your composure. 

Within seconds, you watched as Peter pivoted, bending his knees as he turned the opposite way, running full force directly toward Y/N. You and Danny immediately jumped and chased behind him, unable to get through the thick crowds as quickly as you needed to. You kept an eye on him, rushing toward her. 

She noticed him, of course, and it felt like the bile was rising from your stomach as you watched her cower back against the wall, pure terror on her face as she prepared herself for his wrath. 

We’re coming, baby…stay strong for a second…

She stood up from her seat, her fists in balls as Peter made it to her only mere seconds before you and Danny even got close. You watched him grab her by the arm, forcefully pulling her as she fought him off. 

“Let’s go, Y/N! You’re coming with me!” Peter barked. “We’re going home!” You could hear his voice raised. 

She twisted her arm free from him, ripping her body away. 

“Hey! Get your fuckin’ hands off her!” You yelled from still over ten feet away. People pushed into your shoulders, pulling you and Danny back with every few steps you were taking. 

He reached for her arm again, his face pushed closely to hers. “You don’t know these men, Y/N! For all you know they have ill intentions! Now let’s go!” He yanked her, her body weight falling sideways, causing her to trip over her feet. 

Is no one else seeing this?!

Finally, you and Danny pushed through the thick crowd and got to them, but before you could place a hand on Peter’s shoulder, he was being knocked sideways, his entire body weight flying back directly into you and Danny. He stumbled and fell to the floor, his nose bloody and his demeanor disoriented. 

“And don’t EVER put your hands on me again, you sick son of a bitch!” Y/N said, leaning down to scream in his face. 

You and Danny were stunned, watching as she shook her right hand out. You stood speechless, your eyes the size of dinner plates as you watched Peter writhe on the floor beneath you, holding his nose and yelping in pain. 

You looked at Y/N as she cracked her knuckles. “Jake, Danny…would you mind showing Peter to his gate? 4C, right down the hall, there.” She picked up the flight paperwork that had fallen from Peter’s pocket, double checking the gate as she spoke, and then pressing the papers into Peter’s hand. “Think he might need a hand standing up.”

You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know what to feel. You want to laugh, yell, and cry all at the same time for the pride you felt for Y/N. She had finally stood up to the asshole. 

You looked at Danny as you both grabbed one of Peter’s arms a piece, forcefully pulling him to his feet as he stumbled around. 

Y/N paced back up to Peter, throwing her finger in his face. “And one more thing.” She breathed hard, her nostrils flared. “My home isn’t with you. My home was never with you. You never cared for me one bit, all you wanted was someone to wash your dirty clothes, cook you every meal, and fuck you whenever you wanted. You would have made a shitty husband anyway. Tellin’ me to go home with you. My home is holdin’ your sorry ass up, right now. I suggest you don’t give either of them any fuckin’ lip.”

She stormed off, sending you a quick glance before you all but carried Peter to his gate entrance, rushing him faster than his feet wanted to take him. 

It gave you more satisfaction than you’d ever felt seeing the dismay and embarrassment all over Peter’s face. He deserved that. He deserved every bit of that. 

You plopped Peter down in a seat as you took one last look at him, not caring if you ever saw his face again. “Good riddance, Pete. Should have left when I gave you the fuckin’ chance.”

You and Danny made your way back over to Y/N, now comfortably seated at the bar where Danny just was. 

“So you wanna marry me now, or later?” You placed your lips close to Y/N’s ear as you came up behind her, startling her a little. Her body softened as she realized it was you. 

Danny was already lighting her a cigarette, placing it between her lips after she shot back a glass of some clear liquor. She smiled slyly at your words. 

“Pshh, you ain’t even asked me to be your girlfriend yet, Jacob. Let alone if I wanna be your damned wife.” She puffed hard on her cigarette as you felt the pink creep to your cheeks, both of your teasing tones floating away with the smoke rising from her lips. 

“So, you’re our new bodyguard, right Y/N? The whole time we’re in Miami? You’re gonna fight people off for us?” Danny poked. 

She waved him off with an exasperated flip of her free hand. 

You felt a deep laugh settling in your stomach, and you breathed out the adrenaline with a huff. “Ohh, goddamn, I need a drink. And y’all are makin’ me get on a plane, after all that excitement?!” You shook your head as you signaled the bartender. 

“Jake, baby, they have alcohol on the plane. All the tequila you want.” Y/N answered. 

“Wait, are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.” She winked. 

You slid your hands in your pockets. “Alright, alright. Maybe flyin’ won’t be that bad, after all.”

—-

DANNY POV

The heat filters in through the small window as you sit waiting to get off the plane. You can see the heat rising off of the tarmac, dancing into the air like a mirage, and you feel a trickle of sweat sliding down the back of your neck. Your knees are bouncing anxiously as you impatiently wait for the people in front of you to collect their things and walk down the narrow aisle. Y/N and Jake are chattering away but you can’t hear them, just the pounding of your heart as you anxiously daydream about what is waiting for you just outside that plane door. 

You elbow Jake’s arm as your turn finally arrives, and you practically sprint down the aisle paying no mind to the two of them behind you. The heat hits your skin, followed by the moisture of the humidity in the air. Your first deep breath of Florida air was a lot heavier than you anticipated, but as it entered your lungs you felt a jolt of energy. You looked behind you watching Jake and Y/N as they climbed down the steps of the plane, rushing across the scorching asphalt to catch up with you. 

“Oh my god it’s so humid?!” Y/N gushes, squinting as she lowers her sunglasses to her nose. 

“Practically swimming…” you laugh, “Wait, swimming! We have to go swimming when we get to the hotel. Do you think they have a pool? How far are we from the ocean?” 

“My god Daniel, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this excited about a single thing your whole fuckin’ life.” Jake jests. 

“We’re in Miami, baby!” you shout, throwing your hands into the air. You raise your eyebrows over your gold rimmed sunglasses, and flash him a cheeky smile. 

“If I know Oz, we are stayin’ at a nice place. There will definitely be a pool.” Y/N says, digging through her purse and fishing out a piece of paper. 

The three of you make your way into the airport, and are immediately met with the sights and sounds of which you’d never even dreamed of before. Large palms decorated the shiny tiled walkways and vibrant neon decorated the walls around the dozens of restaurants. Fancy televisions lined the walls and hundreds of people filled the space in bright clothing and elegant perfumes.

Your eyes practically bulged out of your head as you walked further into the jetport. Sure the fancy clothes were shocking, but the women…The women were something different entirely. These women didn’t exist in Joslyn, Missouri. Every single woman you passed looked like they were models, straight out of a magazine. The good kind. Long tan legs, shiny lips, and perfect tits. Every single one of ‘em. You had to pick your jaw up off the floor, and you looked over to Jake to see if he saw them too. Much to your surprise he hadn’t seen anything, his eyes laser focused in on Y/N as they walked hand in hand through the bustling airport.

You nudged his arm with your elbow to get his attention, suddenly snapping him back to reality. You sent him a look you knew he would understand as you nodded ahead of you, and you watched as he took in his surroundings. He raised his eyebrows and huffed a breath of laughter before turning to look at you. “All yours man.”

Fuck, he is in love with that girl.

As you walked down the stairs to the baggage claim area, you stood around a conveyor belt sending a sea of suitcases around in circles. You wracked your brain trying to remember what yours looked like, counting on one hand the other times you’d used it. Blue. Blue with black trim. 

Y/N spots hers first, but as she reaches for it Jake snatches it up and places it in front of her. She squeezes his arm in thanks and looks at him lovingly, causing you to wonder if they’d uttered those words to each other yet. Might as well at this point, sheesh.

You and Jake both spot your bags, plucking them from the belt with a huff and turning to Y/N for your next move. 

“Where are we off to, Miss thing?” you ask, pushing your sunglasses up into your curls.

She reads off the name from the paper in her hands. “The Fontainebleau…”

“Shit that sounds fancy, can we afford that?” you ask, trying to crunch the numbers in your head. 

“It’s taken care of.” She smiles, folding the paper and putting it back into her purse. 

“Y/N, you didn’t…” Jake urges, grabbing at her hands.

She smiles and shakes her head. “No, I didn’t. Oz did.”

—

There are positively no words in your vocabulary that would describe how fancy the hotel is. It had to be fifty stories tall. Every inch of every surface is perfectly clean, almost sparkling. Giant crystal chandeliers hang from every ceiling of every room you enter. The black and white checkered tile shines so brightly you’re almost afraid to step on it. The staff is in full uniform, and there is a bowtie-clad man at the door parking cars. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before, and quite frankly you could never have imagined. 

You can tell that Jake feels just as out of place as you do as you look down at your clothes and notice no one else around you is dressed similarly. Y/N however, struts through the corridors like she owns the place, and that alone is enough to make you feel better. You don’t think you could have ever done this without her. You wonder if your life would even be the same if she hadn’t come into it.

She taps the keycard to your door, after taking the lead in getting you checked in at the big marble reservation desk, you and Jake stuttering and stammering over the pure luxury that was surrounding you to the point of becoming useless. You hear the door unlock and flash a look at Jake wondering how a piece of plastic just unlocked a door. 

She steps inside, Jake following her lead with a hand on her back. You step in after the two of them, completely shocked at the sheer size of the room. “Holy shit this room is bigger than our entire house!”

“It’s a suite.” Y/N smiles, tossing you your own room key. 

“A suite?” Jake asks. 

“Yeah, you and I will be in this room right here, and Danny will have his own, right across the living room.” she says, pointing across the room. Through the doorway is a massive king size bed, decked out in crisp white linens and fluffy pillows. Gold accents adorn the walls and again you find yourself lifting your jaw off of the floor. 

“Little nicer than Wanda’s, huh?” Y/N quips. 

You huff out a breath. “I can’t stay here. What if I break something, or–”

“You’ll be fine Danny. Go check out your room…” She says, dismissing your fears. 

Her and Jake disappear with their suitcases into the other room, shutting the door behind themselves, leaving you in the expansive living space. You walk into your room for the week, dropping your suitcase onto the bed. You walk over to the window, pulling back the sheer curtain to reveal not only a gorgeous view of the ocean, but what is certainly the largest pool you’ve ever seen in your life. 

You make a mad dash back to your suitcase, ripping the zipper open and searching for your swim trunks. You make quick work of ridding yourself of your clothes, and exchanging them for your bright blue swim trunks and an old t-shirt. You put on the flip flops that Y/N made you buy and push your sunglasses down before bolting out of the room. 

“Jake! Did you see the fucking pool?!” you shout, watching as their bedroom door swung open revealing a just as frantic Jake, tying his swim trunks. 

“Fuck yeah, you ready?!” he asks with a smile. 

“I’m waitin’ on your ass!” you laugh, “Y/N, you ready babes? What’s the hold up, come on!” 

“You two go scope it out! I have to make a call, and change and I will be down there in just a sec!” she says, rushing back into the room. 

A call? That’s weird. 

She appears at the door and tosses you a bottle of sunscreen raising a brow.  “You two put that on, I heard the sun down here will blister you up.” she demands. “And don’t forget that room key!”

“Got it, boss.” you say, offering a salute as you and Jake disappear out the door.

—

You could feel the color seeping back into your skin as you and Jake took up residency on your pool chairs. Your blue and white striped towels were working hard to keep the sweat off of your skin but neither of you seemed to mind. You were enjoying the sun. It seemed to shine a little brighter down here in Florida. 

“Gonna go for a swim, you comin’?” Jake asked, standing from his chair. 

“I’ll go when you get back, wanna hold our spots ‘til Y/N gets down here.” you answer, nodding your head towards the pool.

The crystal clear and brilliantly blue ‘L’ shaped pool was massive. There had to be a hundred chairs and umbrellas surrounding it. Each one of them was filled with a beautiful woman in the smallest scraps of fabric they would call a bikini. You could hardly keep your eyes to yourself, and you were thankful for the sunglasses shielding your wandering eyes.  

A small bar sat just off to your right, with servers slinging colorful drinks to the people baking in the sun. Trays of yellow, blue, and red frozen drinks with little umbrellas and colorful straws zipped past you every few minutes. You didn’t think those drinks actually existed outside of movies and TV shows. You watched as a woman walked past with a tall yellow drink, sipping from her straw as she laughed with her friends. The giant slice of pineapple on top had your mouth watering, and you knew that as badly as you wanted it, that you could never be caught dead with a drink like that in your hand. 

A few minutes later a soaking wet jake was walking back towards you, plopping down in his chair to dry out. “Fuck that felt good. Water is perfect.”

Just as you opened your mouth to reply, a waitress walks up to you with a pen and ordering pad. “Can I get you fellas anything today?”

“Oh, we uh…We’re good.” Jake answered, his eyes darting around. “We didn’t bring any cash.”

“Each reservation here at the resort is tied to a card on file for the duration of your stay. What is your room number and I will check on that for you?” she asks. 

“Uh, what are we? 1614? I think?” he says, looking over to you. 

“Yeah 1614.” you nod. 

“Great, I’ll be back in a moment!” she says, saunters back over to the covered bar area. 

“Card on the room? What the fuck do they mean a card? Like one of them credit cards?” you ask. 

“Guess so, I know we didn’t do all that at check in… We don’t even got one.” he says, resting his hands behind his head. 

You watch as the woman starts to walk back over with a smile. “Yes, so your room has a card on file and is fully authorized for all of your purchases for the duration of your stay at any of our dining and bar locations.”

“Really?” you ask. 

“Yes! So now that that is taken care of, can I get you two anything to drink?” she smiles. 

“Um… What’s– what’s that lady drinking right there? With the pineapple on top?” you ask nervously. 

“That’s a piña colada! A pineapple coconut frozen mixed drink.” she says. 

Your mouth was positively watering, “Oh, um okay thanks. What do you want Jake? Beers or something?” 

He looks at you and smirks before looking back to the waitress. “We’ll do three piña coladas.”

She nods happily and walks away to fetch your drinks. 

“Thanks…” you mutter, feeling a little shy about the fruity drink. 

He laughs and smacks your arm. “I’ve been staring those sons-a-bitches down since we got out here.”

—

As you return from your swim you see Y/N occupying the chair next to Jake’s, sipping away on her slightly melted piña colada. 

“Decide to join us?” you ask, squeezing some of the water from your long curls. The pool water is dripping from your swim trunks in cold rivulets down your legs as you reach for your towel. 

“A girl has to prepare, you know…” she quips, offering you a wink. 

“Mhmm…” you smirk, taking in the sight of her in her bright pink bikini. “You seem to fit it just right out here.” 

“Alright, alright…” Jake growls. 

You sit down in your lounger letting out a deep breath as the waitress delivers your second round of drinks. 

“What kinda alcohol is this?” you ask, sipping from your bright blue straw. 

“That be rum…” Jake says, donning a pirate-like accent. You laugh and shake your head, seeing that the drinks are affecting him too. 

Y/N doesn’t play into his antics, standing from her seat and making her way over to the pool with a little bit of a sway in her hips. You swallow harshly and look over to Jake, who is completely enamored with the woman sauntering away from him. 

“Shit…” you breathe, flicking your eyes away and towards a group of ladies approaching. They smile and wave at the two of you as they pass, and you flash them your best casual smile. 

“Aren’t you jealous that you can’t take any of them home?” you ask. 

He lets out a laugh, and shakes his head. He looks over to you and dips his sunglasses low on his nose. “Nope, not even a little, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the view...” He says with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He pushes his sunglasses back up and slurps from his drink dramatically as the girls look over their shoulders at the two of you. 

“You’re in fuckin’ love, aren’t you…” you ask. 

He swallows and shrugs his shoulders dismissively with a laugh. He is avoiding answering the question. 

“Oh my god, you are, aren’t you!?” you gush.

“I don’t know man, fuck. Probably. I wouldn’t know. Ain’t no one ever loved me ‘cept you and Ace but that’s different. I ain’t never loved no one before either. Don’t know what it even feels like.” he answers, a ribbon of truth woven into his words.

“Me neither.” you admit. You bite your lips together and watch Y/N as she sits perched on the edge of the pool, kicking her feet in the water. “She came back for you, Jake. I think that’s pretty much the best way she could have told you she loves you.”

“Yeah, I just… I’m– What if I can’t love ‘er how she needs…Can’t give ‘er ya know… The life she wants...” he asks. 

She peeks over her shoulder, blowing the two of you a kiss and you smile. “I think you already are givin’ her just what she wants.”

—

The three of you stumble into your hotel room quite a few hours, and quite a few piña coladas later, a mess of tan skin and laughter. You toss your towel over the back of a chair, before falling into it with a sigh. “I’m fuckin’ starving.”

“I was just about to say that. Was gonna say you can shower first and we can go after you, but I just remembered we have our own showers.” Jake smiled smugly. 

“Alright, shower then eat?” you ask, your eyes flicking between the two of them. 

“Can we order room service? I don’t feel like going back down.” Y/N asks, as if you could ever say no to her. 

“Hell yeah, I saw a menu on the desk earlier.”

“Perfect, see you in a few?” she smiles, disappearing into the bedroom. 

“Can you guys like, not take forever?” you quip, standing up and grabbing your towel. 

“You know I can’t make promises like that, Daniel…” Jake laughs, raising a brow as he shuts the door behind him. 

You find your way into your own bathroom, turning the handle in the fully glass shower, a little confused as to why there were two shower heads. The spray was more powerful than you’d ever felt from a shower head before, and the water was ten times hotter than it got back home. You washed away the chlorine from your skin and hair, lathering your curls in the expensive smelling shampoo. Even the bar of soap felt fancy, and it was wrapped and waiting for you in the shower already. You could get used to this kind of luxury. 

You heard the phone in your room ringing, and you quickly turned off the shower, wrapping the fluffy white and gold towel around your waist as you sprinted to answer it. 

Hair dripping onto the plush carpet, you pulled the shiny black phone to your ear.  “Hello?”

“Daniel my boy, it’s Oz. How you likin’ the place?” he laughs. 

“Oz! Hey! This place… This place is amazing, I can’t believe how the other half lives.” you laugh along with him. 

“Ahh, they do things a little differently around here you’ll find. Surprises waiting for you at every turn. Listen, you boys are taking advantage of the booking and are havin’ you some good meals, right? Y/N makin’ sure ya eat?” he asks, an air of demand in his voice. 

“Oh, yeah, we actually didn’t know. We were about to try and figure out something to eat right now.” you answer, pulling your towel from your waist to swipe through your hair. 

“That card is on there for a reason. You boys take good care of ya’selves.  There’s a few restaurants and a few bars in that place, room service if ya fancy that too. Don’t worry about the cost, ya hear?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you. Very much.” you reply. 

“Na, what I called you for. Tomorrow I’m gonna be sendin’ over a few things to ya room. There’s to be a party tomorrow evenin’. Gonna send a car to pick you three up. Just need to know ya shoe sizes.” he states. 

Shoe sizes?

“Oh, um, I’m in a 13 and Jake is a 10 I believe.” you pause. “What kind of party?”

“It’s a mixer of sorts, all the fighters will be there with their representation. All of yous are gonna get a chance to meet the enemy. Dress up real nice, talk a big game. Ya know?” 

“I don’t think we brought anything real nice.” you stammer. 

“That’s the part about me sendin’ you some stuff ova. Shoes and suits and somethin’ nice for ma girl…” he clarifies. 

“Oh, right. I will, uh… I will tell Jake and Y/N.” you say. 

“You two treatin’ my girl good?” he asks through a laugh. 

“Oh yes sir, she’s keepin’ us in line. Couldn’t have done it without ‘er.” you answer truthfully. 

“Good, s’what I like to hear. Alright. The car is gonna take you to a place tomorrow evening ‘round 8PM, so be downstairs and ready by 7:45. Don’t be late, ya hear?” 

“Yes sir, we will be on time.”

“Excellent, it’s a nice joint, real nice. I think you fellas will enjoy it. Kind of a big place, called the Sycamore Mansion. That is where the fights will be takin’ place day after next. So try to get a good feel for the place as well.” he says. 

“Got it. Okay. Thank you.”

“Any questions?” he asks, a rumble in the background of the call. 

“No sir, will we see you tomorrow?” you ask. 

“You know it.” 

And with that he hung up the call, and you were once again left slack jawed at how this trip was playing out. 

You made quick work changing into a t-shirt and a pair of sweats, opening the door to return to the living area, finding Y/N braiding her hair on the couch. 

“Who was that on the phone?” she asks. 

“Oz. Where’s Jake?” you ask, wanting to tell them both at the same time.

“Should be out here, think he was changin’ last I saw.” she said, turning to peer into their bedroom. 

A few seconds later he walks out in the largest white bathrobe you’ve ever seen, adorned with the gold embroidered logo of the hotel. 

“What in the actual hell is going on here?” you laughed. 

“I just found this in the closet.” he smiles, tightening the tie around his waist. 

“Oh my god Jake, are you naked under there?” Y/N laughs. 

His eyes darted to her, then to you, then back to her. “Maybe.”

She slaps her hand against her forehead and falls back onto the couch in laughter. 

“Whatever, are we ordering room service?” Jake asks. 

“Yeah, but hold on. While you were in there playing King, Oz called.”

“Okay what did he say?” Jake asks. 

“He told me that he…” you pause, still overcome with excitement. “Tomorrow there is going to be some big fancy party at a mansion and all the fighters and their representation is gonna be there. He is sending a car for us at 8:00.” you smile devilishly. 

“A fancy party?! A car?! Oh god, we didn’t bring anything that nice!” Y/N shouts, a little panicked. 

“That's the best part, he said he is sendin’ up some nice clothes for us. Suits for me and Jake, and I'm assumin’ a dress for you, Y/N.” you say, smiling at her. 

“Oh my gosh, a cocktail party! I am so excited! I can’t wait to see what he sends!” she gushes, hugging a couch pillow to her chest. 

“So, anyways, that was the call. Oh, and he said we can wear out that card on file, and get whatever we want to eat.” you laugh, tossing the room service menu to Jake. 

He smiles as he eyes the menu, his eyes widening as he reads. You take a seat next to Y/N on the couch, silently chuckling as you take in the sight of Jake in his white bathrobe and tattooed skin.

His head pops up with a look of bewilderment, staring at Y/N as he points to the menu.

“The fuck is a chicken cord on? And why is it blue?”

—

JAKE POV

“Jake, go in your room son.” Ace’s voice was panic stricken, his oil covered finger pointed to the bedroom. You shook your head no, which only made his temper worse. Your eyes flicked over to your mother, as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen. 

“I won’t tell you again Jacob, go!” he shouted, causing your eyes to fill with tears. Your heart pounded in your chest as you shut the bedroom door behind yourself.

You heard crying, but you couldn’t feel any tears on your cheeks. The image started to become fuzzy, and as you cowered behind your bedroom door you heard shouting, the pleading from your father, and the cries of your mother in what is nearly the only memory you have of her. 

The door slamming is what shook you from your dream, the same one you always had. The only one you ever had. You shot up in the oversized bed, light barely peeking in behind the curtain as you rubbed your hand over your clammy skin. Y/N reached her hand out from beneath the sheets, resting it softly on your arm. 

“You okay, baby?” her tired voice asked. 

You swallowed down the tension in your body and let out a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just had a bad dream.” You answer, falling back down into the pillows. 

“You were kicking around and tossing and turning…”

“Yeah, I– I don’t dream too often, but when I do it’s always the same one.” you say, letting your hands fall behind your head. 

“I’m sorry…” she breathes, letting her hand drift across your stomach before pulling herself tightly to your side. 

“S’okay. No big deal.” you whisper, letting your arm cradle around her shoulders. You pull her into you and kiss her head.

“What time is it?” she asks, her lips brushing against your chest. 

You twist your head to the side, seeing the electric alarm clock reading 6:54am. “Almost seven.” 

“You hungry? I can hear your stomach growling…” she smiles up at you. 

“I’m always hungry, baby.” you laugh. 

“There is breakfast downstairs…Should we…Should we go?” She asked through a yawn. 

“Yeah, I’ll go wake Danny. I’m sure he could eat too.” you say, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as you both roll out of the bed. 

You make your way across the suite, and knock on Danny’s door, hearing a groan sound from behind it. “Hey, we are gonna go down for breakfast, you comin’?”

“Yeah, gimme five.” he shouted back, and you turned to head back to your room and dress yourself for the morning, donning yourself in your torn and worn clothing that positively didn’t suit the elegance of your surroundings. 

—

As the three of you navigated the expansive hotel, you followed the smell of the food permeating the air and it wasn’t too long until you saw the large dining space filled with tables and chairs. Rows and rows of buffet tables lined the room, filled with every single breakfast item imaginable. Your mouth watered as you took in the sights, your stomach growling loud enough that you’re sure everyone in the room heard it. 

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead!” Y/N ushered, pushing you and Daniel towards the stack of fresh plates. “I’ll go find us a table.”

You spend the next thirty minutes going back and forth from your table to the buffet line, filling your plate with everything they offered. You would have felt bad for how much you were eating if Daniel hadn’t been doing the same thing. Y/N of course laughed at the two of you as she enjoyed her eggs, english muffin and orange juice, taking note of Daniel’s assortment of juice glasses. 

“What?!” he laughed. “Can’t a man enjoy a refreshing glass of apple, orange, cranberry, and grapefruit juice first thing in the morning?”

“And coffee…” Y/N laughed. 

“I like to be hydrated, what can I say?” he smiles, tossing back the rest of his apple juice.

“You think you guys are done, or do you have one more round in you?” she asks. 

“Oh, I am so done. I don’t think I will eat until dinner.” you answer, leaning back in your chair. 

“I’m done. In fact I think I ate too much. Might need to go lay down, or go for a walk or somethin’.” Daniel adds. “Actually, Jake…You see that weight room we passed on the second floor?”

“I think so, seemed pretty fancy. Why? You wanna check it out?” you ask. 

“Could… Wouldn’t hurt nothin’, right?” he smirks. 

“Yeah, let’s walk her back up and change and we can go see what they’ve got.”

—

When you returned to your room you opened the door to find the living area filled with garment bags and shoe boxes, stacked on every surface. You shot Y/N a look, seeing her eyes light up. 

“This must be the stuff Oz sent!” she squealed, dashing over to the white garment bag hanging from the door frame. “Oh my god it’s from Neiman Marcus…”

“Who?” Danny quipped, shutting the door behind him. 

“Neiman Marcus! One of those fancy New York brands!” she answers, pulling the zipper on the bag. “Oh my– Jake this is definitely for you…” she says, pulling a dark black suit from inside. It's crisp and clean with a white shirt to go underneath. You don’t think you’ve ever had clothes that weren’t from the thrift store. You walk over to her, grabbing it from her hands and inspecting the tag. $600.

“No way. I can’t wear this. What if I– I spill on it or something. We can’t afford this!” you stammer, watching as Danny rips open an envelope. 

“Don’t think we have to…” he says, reading the card. “Says to keep ‘em. Says we’ll need ‘em when we get to the big leagues.” he smiles, flashing you the card that is signed by Oz himself. 

“Oh. My. God.” you hear Y/N’s voice from across the room, as she unzips the bag that is marked for her. As she peeks into the bag she starts to jump up and down in excitement and you can’t help the smile that parts your lips. 

“I’m not gonna show you. I think I want it to be a surprise.” she smiles, zipping the bag back up. “Danny let’s see yours!” she shouts, motioning to the other bag hanging from his doorway. 

He walks over, and pulls the zipper, a huff of excitement leaving his chest. “Daaaaamn…” he says, pulling out a structured white suit. “With the black shirt, oh hell yeah.”

“Oh you boys are gonna be lookin’ fine…” Y/N coos, elbowing your side. 

“Psh, when are we not?” Danny asks with a wink. 

—

The two of you don’t work out very long, not wanting to feel sore tomorrow. That and you had no idea how to use all of this fancy equipment. You can feel the pump in your muscles as you make your way back to the hotel room, ready to grab a shower and start to get ready for the night. You can’t help but feel unworthy of Oz’s kindness. He knew you couldn’t afford those suits, so he made it happen. He knew you couldn’t afford this hotel, but again, he made that happen too. You wondered how you managed to get this lucky, having something like this practically fall into your laps when you needed it most. 

When you stepped into the room you found Y/N sitting on the edge of the couch, painting her toenails. Her hair was in rollers and there was a haze of what you think is hairspray lingering in the air. 

“It smells like girls in here.” Danny said, pretending to choke on the hairspray. 

“Yeah, hot girls.” you smiled, giving her a wink. “I’m sure you’re not used to that, huh Daniel.”

“Fuck off.” he scoffed, disappearing into his room. 

You join Y/N on the couch, a little sweaty, and ready for a shower. 

“You guys figure it out down there?” she asked, looking up from her bright red polish. 

“Eh, more or less. Some of the stuff they had was crazy. We didn’t even know how to start.” you laugh. 

“You’re kinda smelly, you know?” she smiles out of the corner of her mouth. 

“I know, I’m on my way to the shower…” you groan, pushing up to stand from the couch. 

Her hand darts out to grab yours, “Wait!” she pauses, locking her fingers with yours. “Can’t wait to see you all dressed up...”

“I know you’re gonna look beautiful.” you say, knowing without a shadow of a doubt she was already the prettiest girl you’d ever known. 

“But you know I like you just how you are, right? With your dirty work pants and your stained shirts?”

You feel your chest grow warm, and you can’t help but to lean down and press your lips to hers. 

“And you know I’ll have you anyway you come. Just so long as you do.”

—

You stare at yourself in the mirror, but you don’t recognize the man looking back at you. You’ve never seen this version of him. A stranger. Your black suit fits just right, hitting you in all the right places, and you are halfway convinced it was made just for you. You decided to slick back your hair, and you have to admit it doesn’t look half bad. 

A sliver of your tattoos peek out from the top of your shirt, and it almost feels wrong. You don’t feel like yourself, and you don’t look like yourself, but you know that this is part of the deal. You wonder if people will talk about you, make comments and snicker at the poor man in the rich man's suit. You spray your neck with the cologne that magically appeared on the bathroom counter, deciding you actually sort of like it. 

Giving yourself a final once over you step out into the bedroom, and into the living room ready to hear what the other two are going to say about your appearance. You sit down on the couch as you wait for one of them to emerge, picking at your fingernails to try and rid the remnant of black grease from around your cuticles. 

Danny steps out of his room a few minutes later, his white suit hanging perfectly on him, and its then you decide that the suits had to be custom. 

“I look fuckin’ good.” he says with a smug grin. 

“You definitely clean up better than I do.” you laugh. 

“What? You look fly as hell Jake. Ain’t never seen your hair like that. Look like a magazine guy or some shit.” he says, and you feel a little relieved. 

He’s left the top of his shirt unbuttoned, letting his tattoos show freely on his chest. His confidence is through the roof and you decide you are going to match his energy, popping the top two buttons on your shirt. You feel a little more confident in yourself seeing Danny so sure of himself. You stand from the couch and grab your bottle of tequila, taking a pull from the bottle before offering it to him. He does the same, capping the lid just at Y/N steps out of the bedroom.

Your jaw practically drops to the floor as you see her. A white sparkly dress is snug to her curves, a thin black line of velvet piping running along the top of the dress accentuating her cleavage. Her hair is teased up and styled with a black hair piece, and her lips are cherry red. Your eyes scan down her body, taking in the black pantyhose and the high heels, and you have to actively stop your dick from popping a boner.

“Wow.” you say, stepping towards her. “You look–”

“Fuckin’ phenomenal…” Danny finishes, placing the bottle on the counter. 

“You like?” she asks, doing a spin as she takes your hand. “You two don’t look half bad yourselves.”

“I love it.” 

You turn to look at Danny, who is eyeing her up and down, and truthfully you can’t blame him, but you also can’t let him look at your woman like that. 

“Need some help picking your jaw up from the floor?” you ask with a smug smile. “Get your own.”

“You seem to forget she was mine first.” he quips, letting his eyes flash to hers. 

“I’m literally standing right here!” she scoffs, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Get a good look Jake, probably the only time you’ll ever see a woman in white.” he laughs, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

You grab her waist and pull her into you, finding her white dress to be a perfect compliment to your black suit. You brush the hair away from her ear and lower your lips to rest just on the shell.  

“You look so gorgeous, baby. I’m not gonna be able to take my eyes off of you all night. Not ever.” you whisper.

You laid a hot kiss to her neck, breathing in the smell of her perfume while Danny snickered in the corner. Suddenly a loud buzzing filled the room, and a voice rang out through a speaker over your heads 

“Mr. Kiszka, Mr. Wagner, your car has arrived at the Valet in the main lobby.”

Then suddenly the voice was gone. 

“Where the hell did that come from?!” Danny shouted. 

Y/N laughed and pointed to the ceiling, “They have in room intercoms. Kinda cool, I saw it in a movie once.”

“Should we get going?” you ask, placing your hand on her lower back. 

Danny walks over to the door, pulling it open and gesturing with his hand, “Ladies first…”

—

As the hot breeze blew the smell of saltwater and food across your nose, you noticed you were having a hard time keeping your eyes off of Y/N. The way the dress hit right at her mid-thigh, squeezing tight around her top half and showing off her assets more perfectly than anything you’d ever seen her in. Her makeup was flashy, but not too much, and her hair was flowing and sitting perfectly across her shoulders. She looked good. But then again, she could be wearing a burlap sack and you’d still think she was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. 

You heard the sound of an engine idling a few paces up the street, waiting in the long line of cars being valeted to the hoard of people standing around you. Sounds like an old V8.

“How do we know which one is ours?” Danny asked. 

“I assume whoever’s drivin’ will just—”

“S’cuse me, sir? Are you with Mr. Oz?” A young man in a sport jacket approached you, clearing his voice as he shyly waited for your response. 

“Uh, yeah. That’s us…” you responded. 

He held out a set of keys for you, dangling them between his fingers as he gave you a quick smile and pointed down the street. “She’s parked right on the corner, sir. Drive safely, tonight. Directions to the event are in the glove box.”

You let him drop the keys into your hand, and as you looked up to thank him, he had disappeared into the mass of people taking up the entrance to the hotel. 

You glanced to Danny and Y/N, both standing questioningly beside you. You shrugged, and began the short walk down to the corner, where the last vehicle in the long line sat.

“No way, you gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me…” Danny gushed. “A Shelby convertible?!” 

You let your hand run along the hood, feeling the still-warm metal beneath your fingertips. “Son of a bitch, she’s sexy…” you muttered, feeling yourself become just as enthralled with the car as Danny was. 

“A pearl white ‘68… 4.7 liter V8, and she’s still got the manual transmission, too…” Danny continued as he inspected the dash. “Please let me look under the hood when you start it, Jake…please…” 

You couldn’t deny him, and though it may have looked a little strange to the people passing by, you wanted nothing more than to hear, and watch, the engine roar to life, too. 

You stuck the keys into the ignition as Danny lifted the hood, turned them gently, and heard the car purr to life. It sent a chill down your spine, and you and Danny shared excited giggles as you watched the engine work. 

“Jesus Christ, you guys want a minute alone with this car, or are we gonna go to the party?” Y/N teased. 

“Sorry, sorry, damn!” Danny yelled. “I’ve only worked on one of these, they're one of my favorite models.” 

“Well how about you hop in the driver’s seat and see how she rides, Daniel?” Y/N pushed, crossing her arms with impatience. 

He opened the driver’s side door, and growled an ‘mmhmm’. 

“I know exactly how she rides…” the insinuation was heavy in his voice. 

You felt your insides flame. He was being so flirty tonight, but you couldn’t blame him. The three of you were in a place you’d never been, in clothes you could never afford, about to drive to a party you’d never be invited to in a vehicle you could only dream about having. It was all in fun, and it made Y/N feel good. As long as everyone was comfortable. 

“Shut up, Danny. Quit bein’ such a tease.” She hopped in the car and slapped her palm across his shoulder. 

“I ain’t bein’ a tease! It’s a fact! I know she rides good…real good…” Danny was wiggling his eyebrows at you as you slid in the passenger seat. “Smooth and slick, tight in the curves… Fast when you want her to be, slow when she wants…” You shook your head. He was really laying it on thick. 

“Right Jake? We took the one we fixed last year on a test drive, didn’t we?!” 

“Yes we did, Daniel. Yes we did.” You said blankly as you popped open the glove box to search for the directions to the party. You pulled out a folded-up piece of paper with handwritten street-by-street directions and a poorly drawn map. “Alright, where the hell are we goin’?” 

You glanced down the street to read the nearest road sign name, and directed Danny to take that next left turn. As you cruised the streets of Miami, passing by all the brightly-lit neon signs and storefronts for days, you wondered if you could get used to this. All the tall buildings, the nice cars… Being surrounded by all these good-looking people, all out to have a good time and enjoy their lives with not a care waiting for them back home. 

You watched as Y/N could give a shit less if her hair became tousled in the wind, or if her makeup smeared. She looked to be enjoying herself, too, but there was something slightly off about her. She had an edge to her. Like she was anxious to get there, and get the night over with. 

“You good, baby?” You asked her over the loud music of a bar you passed by. 

She gave you a tight grin. “Perfect.”

Finally Danny pulled onto a street that led to a gated community, and once you gave your names to the security guard, you pulled down a long, paved road with rows and rows of houses four and five times the size of the shop. Mansions. All with perfectly cured lawns and palm trees lining their driveways. Balconies hanging from every window, and three-bay garages attached to each house. You wondered how people could even stand to live in homes so huge. 

“Fuck, you sure were headin’ to the right place? We’re gonna stick out like sore thumbs at a place like this…” Danny almost whispered as he idled down the street. You looked at the map again, reassuring yourself you had read it correctly. 

“Yeah, this is it. Coconut Grove, 1266 Irvington Avenue. Should be right up her—“

“Coconut Grove?! Did you say Coconut Grove? Oh my god…Madonna lives here!” Y/N squealed with excitement. “I wonder which house is hers?!” She sat up in her seat and began panning around. 

“How the hell do you know that?” You laughed. 

“I-I saw it on MTV once…” She pouted, almost embarrassed. 

“Holy fuck…” Danny said. “You said 1266, right?”

You looked up to find yourselves pulling into an extremely private driveway with its own gate, lined on the sides with tall bushes and bright colored flowers. There at the end was a gigantic white house with an oversized front porch, pillars reaching all the way up to the third story. There was a fountain up front, and lights shining onto the front of the home, making it appear larger than it was. 

Nice vehicles lined the driveway, and there were people everywhere. 

“Yeah…twelve sixty…six…”

Danny slowly parked the car and the three of you wordlessly exited. You grabbed up Y/N’s hand and squeezed it tightly, as you noticed she was taking a deep breath. “You sure you’re alright, babe?”

She blinked a few times, like she was preparing herself. “I’m fine, Jake. Just… gonna be a lot of people to impress in here.”

Impress…? She could do that just by walking in the door…

“I think you’ll be okay, it’s me and Danny who gotta do the impressin’...” You answered, unsure of whether or not it made her feel any better at all. 

The three of you climbed the brick steps to the front door, stepping by a few already-intoxicated groups of people as you were let inside. You could hear loud music bumping from inside the walls, and you wondered exactly what kind of party this was going to be. 

The home was immaculate. Black and white checkered marble floors, vaulted ceilings, and furniture so nice you didn’t want to touch it, let alone sit on it. Everything looked like it was straight from a movie. Your eyes traveled up to the multitude of crystal chandeliers lining the foyer, and the giant staircase that must have stretched ten feet across at the bottom.

As soon as the door closed behind you, you were offered flutes of champagne from a man walking around in white gloves. You recognized him immediately as the man that was Oz’s right hand, the one who brought Y/N her champagne when you first started this whole gig. He gave you each a nod and a tight smile as you took the glasses. 

“Hi, good to see you again!” Y/N gushed, most likely feeling relieved that she was seeing a familiar face. 

“Evenin’ to you all.” He replied, putting one hand behind his back. “Oscar is floating around here, somewhere. There’s plenty of food in the sitting room and kitchen, please help yourselves.” He nodded again and disappeared back into the sea of people. 

You each exchanged another look of pure excitement at the overwhelming change in atmosphere. You’d never been anywhere like this, ever. And you hadn’t even seen it all yet. “Should we walk around a little?” You asked Danny and Y/N, and the three of you began making yourselves blend in with the crowd. 

After a few minutes of meandering and getting lost in the mansion, you finally stumbled upon the kitchen. Giant white cabinets lined the walls, and a huge marble island was placed perfectly in the center of the room. The island was completely covered in hors d’oeuvres made up of foods you’d never even seen in your grocery store. Danny awkwardly handed you a plastic plate that was no larger than a softball, and the three of you began filling it with as many tiny toothpicked items as you could. 

“There’s a little table over there, should we snag it?” Y/N asked, not waiting for your answers as she drifted toward the corner. 

“Holy shit, this place is insane, right?!” Danny looked like a kid in a candy store, his eyes never landing on anything for more than a second as he took in the surroundings. “What have we gotten ourselves into?” 

His eyes were wide as they met yours, and you truly couldn’t answer him. You shrugged, laughing into your champagne flute. “Your guess is as good as mine, Daniel.”

Y/N still had her anxious air about her… Her head on a swivel too, but not the same kind as Danny’s. She acted like she was waiting for someone to see her. 

“Are we supposed to go socialize, or…?” You asked, finishing the last piece of food on your plate. You truly weren’t sure what it was you’d just eaten, but it was good. 

Danny finished off his champagne. “I dunno, I guess–”

“Ahh, Y/N! There she is, my comrade!” A loud voice beckoned your way over the loud music, and you realized that a man you’d never seen before was wrapping his arm around Y/N’s waist, bringing her in for a formal hug. Your eyes immediately shot to Danny, and then to Y/N. Who the fuck? Comrade? “Did you find the place okay? Run into any roadblocks getting here, my love?” He asked Y/N, while simultaneously holding his hands out to you and Danny to shake. 

He didn’t wait for her answer, and instead introduced himself. “Name’s Hector. Nice to meet you both.” You didn’t feel threatened by the man, you were just extremely caught off guard that he knew Y/N on a first-name basis. 

“Jake…nice to meet you, too.” You returned his handshake, and Danny followed up with his own introduction. 

“Have you run into Oz yet?” He asked Y/N. 

Her face was blood red and stark white at the same time. “Uh, n-no, not yet. We just had enough time to grab some food. Still making our rounds. I’m sure we’ll run into him somewhere… You know he’s not hard to find.” The more she spoke, the more confident she suddenly became. What the hell is going on?! You felt your heart rate pick up, the confusion finally settling in. 

“You know he ain’t!” Hector laughed, gently patting Y/N on the back. “Can I get you all another drink? Want you to come and meet some of my guys… your competition tomorrow, fellas. One of them is about to go pro!” He held his thumb out to point behind him.

“Ah, I think we’re okay for now, thank you though! I think we are going to head over this way and find Oz before he finds us, but we’ll make our way over to you soon?” Y/N explained, directing herself the opposite way. 

“Sounds great, Mamacita. I’ll see you in a bit. Nice to meet you gentlemen!” Hector yelled through the crowd as he walked backwards, slowly disappearing into the dim light of the kitchen. 

You gave yourself a second to gather your thoughts before staring daggers directly into Y/N’s eyes. You noticed Danny was doing the same. You weren’t mad… yet. 

“You want to tell us what the fuck that was?” You demanded, leaning your elbows down on the high-top table and leaning into her. She breathed, licking her tongue nervously across her teeth. Her hands went immediately to her hair, brushing it back and patting it down, but staying quiet as she avoided eye contact. 

“Y/N!” Danny urged impatiently. 

“Fuck. Ok, come with me…” She said, grabbing both of your hands and leading you back out of the kitchen, through the crowded foyer, and toward the front door again. You passed by a table with full champagne flutes, and she grabbed up two, handing them anxiously to you and Danny. 

“Here, you’re gonna need these.”

—-

“So let me get this straight, you’ve been workin’ for Oz this entire time… behind our backs?” You said quietly as you paced the brick of the front porch, one hand buried deep in your pocket as the other brushed across your mustache. 

Y/N nodded solemnly as she leaned back against the half-wall railing of the porch. 

“And, when you went to Atlanta, it was for business?”

“Yes. But my reason for going to Atlanta wasn’t always that. Remember the night Oz asked me into his office, while Danny was fighting? And I was gone for a good long time, and when I came back out I told you we were just… talking?” 

“Yeah. I remember. Made me nervous as hell, you bein’ alone with a man we hardly knew…” Danny responded, crossing his arms across his chest. 

She let out a breath. “Well, we were just talking, but he was also giving me a business proposition. He had caught word I was goin’ to Atlanta anyway, and explained to me that he was looking for someone to go there and scope out a venue for the Southern territory to hold their preliminary fights. You see, the South portion here is Hector’s, the man you just met. He’s like Oz, but for here.” She explained. “So, that night in his office, he asked me if I would secretly meet Hector in Atlanta to secure a place. So, I did.” 

You and Danny were left speechless, unsure which question to ask first of the thousand rushing around in your heads. 

“Guys, he offered me a job, and I took it. Money. Lots of money. Protection. And… protection for you, too. I knew I had to do it, it felt right. But I wasn’t allowed to tell you about it. Tell anyone about it.”

“Why the fuck was he protecting us? Who?” Danny spat. 

She shrugged. “I don’t know who was protectin’ you, Danny. But he had someone keepin’ eyes on you. Notice how Teddy hasn’t been around in a couple weeks?” 

You glanced at Danny, who was in just as much disbelief as you. 

“And Hector was lookin’ out for me, while we were in Atlanta.” She went on, looking at her feet as she nervously crossed them back and forth across each other. 

“Okay, so wait wait wait.” You placed your hand over your eyes. “You had to meet Hector in Atlanta to secure a venue for the preliminaries…secretly…” 

“Yes. The venues are chosen by an in-charge party along with a neutral party. Aka, Hector, who was in charge, and me, the neutral party. Oz and one of Hector’s guys chose the spot that you two fought at, and won your prelims.”

“That’s fuckin’ confusing…” Danny breathed. 

“I know it is. I know. And I’m so sorry I lied to you, to both of you. I had to stay silent about it, Oz asked me to keep everything to myself.” She went on. “It would have been risky, had you known.”

“Why! What do you mean risky?” You felt like you were getting mad, now. 

“If someone found out that Oz had asked the…a close friend…of one of his fighters to go and pick a venue for what was supposed to be for a neutral fight, it could have raised suspicion that he wasn’t doin’ his dealings fairly. That he had chosen favorites amongst his fighters… you see what I mean? It could have been dangerous if someone found out, even one of his own guys. And, I knew if I told you guys, you absolutely would have forbidden me to go to Atlanta to meet up with a strange man no one had met before. I had to prove to Oz that he could trust me, and in turn trust you all. I had to prove my loyalty. And…I did. I got the job done, fairly well, if you ask me…” Y/N grinned at herself at the end of her sentence. 

“But people see you here now, with us…isn’t that the same thing?” You added. 

“No. The prelims are done and over with, now. No one here knew I was the one choosing that venue. And Hector doesn’t care. It’s a strange rule, I know. It’s hard to wrap your head around, but I just sucked it up and followed my instructions. They’re the ones runnin’ the tight ship. And I’m trying my best to learn as much as I can…”

“Okay, so you did the job. He paid you, and you came back to Joslyn. Why? Why didn’t you just stay there, like you wanted?”

She looked to the floor below her again. “You know why, Jake. I told you a hundred times…I couldn’t stand bein’ away from you. Point blank. Well, that, and…”

“And what?!” Your voice was strangled as your head swam with all the new information. 

“And…the way Oz spoke that night in his office…he made it sound like if I performed well at the Atlanta assignment, he would think about offering me a full-time gig. Bringin’ me on permanently. He hasn’t said yet, but. I think it’s coming…”

“I knew it!” Danny exclaimed. “Did I not ask you that weeks ago, Y/N?!”

“Yes, Danny, you did. And I’m sorry I had to lie to you. I lied to you both, and please, please accept my apology. The last thing I ever wanted to do was be disingenuous to either of you, after all you’ve done for me. I knew I would tell you the truth one day, it just had to be at the right time…” she swallowed hard, her eyes pleading with yours. 

All the times you asked why she had to go, and her explanation always being that she had to… it all made sense now. She had to prove herself to Oz. You couldn’t fault her for that, even though it stung. 

You heard her begin to sniffle a little as you and Danny processed. “Please, can one of you say something? I’m sorry I lied, I really am—“ she cried. 

“No no, baby. We aren’t…we aren’t mad…” you quickly made your way over to her, followed closely behind by Danny as you both consoled her. 

“No, we aren’t mad. Just…surprised, maybe. We just had no idea you were so deeply involved with this business, I guess.” Danny added, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

She nodded, wiping her tears away. “I don’t want you guys to hate me…I came back to Joslyn because…because I couldn’t stand not being with you, with my home…” she laughed at herself. 

You wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “So we are your home…huh?” 

She choked a sob, laughing at herself through it. “Yes. You are. And it took me bein’ terrified in Atlanta all by myself and crying all the way to and from to realize that I didn’t want to be there a minute longer. The second the prelims were over, I got in my car and left. Canceled the last few days at my hotel, and sped back to Missouri. I swear, that’s why. I promise.” 

“Shh, shh…” you comforted her, bringing her in for a full embrace as you met eyes with Danny, both of you exchanging pitiful looks. How could you be mad at her? Either of you? 

“I did this for you guys, I knew you wouldn’t be able to afford getting to Miami, and I knew I would have to be here, for Oz. And that I would have the extra money. How would I explain myself when we ran into each other at the fight tomorrow? ‘Oh hey guys, fancy seein’ you here at this top secret fight?!’” She laughed as you pulled away. 

“He’s…he’s probably waiting on me to find him so he can give me the rundown for tomorrow. Assignment number two.”

You sighed hard as you wiped her remaining tears. “Fuck. So you’re a full-on secret employee for a dangerous underground outfit for no holds barred fighting that stretches country-wide?” 

“Yes.” She giggled as the realization set in for all three of you. “Well, not quite employee. I’d say I’m still in the probationary period of things.”

“…And we thought we had the cool end of the job.” Danny said. “Shit, you’re over here makin’ secret business deals while we’re just whoopin’ ass for fun.” 

The three of you shared another laugh, a few seconds of silence falling over you. “So you’re not mad at me?” She asked, her voice low. 

“No, baby. I’m actually proud of you. That had to have taken guts…you’re kind of a badass.” You brought your hand to her cheek again and laid a kiss to her temple. 

“I can agree with that.” Danny added, letting out a sigh. “Well, I guess you need to get back in there, huh Y/N? See what the boss man needs next?”

She pushed herself off of the wall. “Yeah, I guess I do. Need to go clean myself up a bit first, though.” She dabbed her palms at the makeup under her eyes. “You guys go socialize, I’ll see you in there?”

“Don’t stray too far…” you said, watching as she pulled the door open again to go meet with her brand new constituents.

——

You swirl the ice in your drink as you and Danny stand watching as Y/N talks with Oz. She seems to fit into his circle perfectly, talking confidently to each person that steps in to greet her. You feel a sense of pride wash over you. That’s your girl. 

“She really seems to be in her element, huh?” Danny asks, tipping back his drink. 

“She does. Can’t believe she didn’t tell us.” you mumble. 

“Sounds like she couldn’t.” he quips. 

“I know, I just mean…I can’t believe she left lettin’ me think she didn’t feel the same.” you admit. 

“I think she feels so much the same as you, that she couldn’t fathom the idea of not takin’ this deal, for us.”

You swallow harshly and nod, sipping at your drink. “Should we go check out the competition?”

“Shit, might as well.” 

The two of you head into the crowd of people, passing a DJ table and a crowd of dancers. You see a group of men talking and you know without a doubt that this is some of the other fighters. They are built similarly to you and Daniel, and you can tell they feel a little out of place as well. 

You stand just off to the side, eyeing each man as you try to decipher if any of them would be a suitable match for you. A flash of panic takes over you when you realize that almost all of them have at least a foot of height on you. 

“Stop it, you know that shit doesn’t matter.” Danny says, as if reading your mind. 

“I know, just hard to remember sometimes.”

Your conversation is interrupted by a woman stepping up to Daniel. You look her over and immediately know that you likely won’t be seeing much of Daniel tonight. You toss him a knowing look as she introduces herself. 

“Nice to meet you both I’m Sandra…” she says offering your her hand with brightly polished pink nails. 

“Hello, I’m Jake.” you answer shaking her hand. 

“What’s ya friends name?” she asks, her voice sweeter than necessary. 

“This is Daniel, my brother.” you answer, looking over to him. 

“Brothers? Hmm. Daniel, would you like to escort me to the bar by the pool?” she asks. He looks at you and you nod your head with a smile.

“It would be my pleasure. Tell me…Where you from Sandra…” his voice trailing off as he steps outside to the crowd gathering by the pool. 

Your eyes quickly search the crowd for Y/N, suddenly feeling a little bit vulnerable as you stand alone with your empty drink glass. You don’t see her immediately and your heart pumps a little harder. You whip your head around looking for her, doing your best to not let her out of your sight tonight. You set your empty glass on a table as you start your search for her, but before you panic too much you feel a pair of arms circle around your waist. 

“Lookin’ for me?” she whispers into your ear. 

You spin in her arms, placing your hands on her cheeks. “Always lookin’ for you baby.”

“Thought so. You wanna dance? Where’s Danny?” she asks, looking over her shoulder. 

“He is with Sandra…” you smirk. 

“Oh…”

“Mhmm…” you hum, feeling her pulling you towards the dancefloor.

“Oh my god is this Yes?!” she asks, a smile pulling across her face.

“You tell me…” you state, hearing the words start to play through the speaker system. You don't recognize the song but you do recognize Yes.

“It is! I think this is their new album! Oh we have to get this 8-track!” she gushes.

You laugh as you watch her start to dance around to the upbeat song. “Whatever you want, baby.”

You never really considered yourself much of a dancer, but right now with the drinks swirling through your system and your girl in front of you, you couldn’t help but to move your body along with hers. A real genuine smile slid across your face as you laughed and danced with her, and for the first time in your life you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be. 

The song ended and she threw her arms around your neck, pulling you close as she laughed into your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around her waist, kissing her head as you waited for the next song to start. 

However, when the song started it wasn’t upbeat. You noticed people coupling off and starting to slow dance to Whitesnake. Now that was a band you would recognize anywhere. A smirk crossed your lips when you heard the lyrics ring out, knowing they were hitting a little too close to home. 

‘I find I spend my time, waiting on your call…’

‘How can I tell you, babe? My back’s against the wall…’

‘I need you by my side to tell me it’s alright…’

‘ Cause I don’t think I can take anymore…’

‘Is this love that I’m feeling?’

Your eyes close as you hold her, swaying along to the music and feeling like the luckiest man in the whole place. She pulls away from you just slightly, enough to look into your eyes, but giggling when she realizes they are closed. 

“Open your eyes baby. Look at me.” she says, bringing her hand up to swipe against your cheek. 

You let them open, meeting hers and taking in just how gorgeous she really is. 

“You look so handsome, Jake.” she breathes, a sincerity in her voice that you’d only heard a few times. 

You feel your cheeks blush as you shake your head, not wanting to accept her compliment…unsure of how to accept a compliment from someone you really cared about. It suddenly made you feel outside of your own skin again. 

“I know you feel like you're out of place here. I know you don’t feel like yourself. But I want you to know that you do belong here. You’re not out of place. You’re right where you’re supposed to be.” she says, almost as if she can read your mind. 

“Don’t you think it kinda feels like fate? That you ended up here?” She asked, her fingertips running along your jawline. 

Fate…such a weightless word for something that feels so heavy. 

“I don’t really believe in fate…” you half-lied. 

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You don’t, do you?”

“Hmm-mm.” You shook your head, your eyes bouncing back and forth over hers. “But if I did, I would say it felt like fate that you ended up on our doorstep… Look where we are now.”

“Jake…I had nothin’ to do with your success with this…I—“

“Mm, maybe not. But it sure as hell feels like our lives started lookin’ up as soon as you showed up.” 

You press your lips to hers, just a soft gentle kiss to let her know there really is no place you’d rather be. Your mind was swirling with her words, tossing and tumbling around until they fell right from your lips. 

“Why did you ever leave me…” you whisper, holding her face in your hand as the song played in the background. 

“Ya know. I had to be sure…” she answers, a whisper from her lips. 

“Sure of what, baby…”

“Sure that I wanted this life.” she said, a glossiness coating her eyes. 

“Which life…”

“This life with you…” she answers, and you can tell she is holding back what she really wants to say. 

“Tell me, baby. Tell me what you mean.” you beg, wanting to hear the words more than anything.

“I think you know what I mean, Jake…” she breathes, pressing her lips to yours again, letting her tongue glide over your lips. 

A relief washes over you. You do know what she means, but neither of you could build the courage up to say it out loud.  

“You had to know I was coming back for you. You had to know…” she says, blinking away tears. 

“I– I didn’t. I was a wreck. I never want to feel like that again.” you admit, swiping against her skin. 

“But my note. I left you a note... I told you that you were home. I tried to tell you Jake. I was always coming back.”

You tucked her hair over her shoulder as the song came to an end, brushing her jaw with your thumb. “For what it’s worth, you’re my home, too.”

The two of you decided to leave the dance floor, ready for another drink, and as you stood at the bar waiting for the bartender to make your drinks, she laced her hand with yours, letting her fingers trace lines over your fingers. 

How could you have been such a fool? How could you have even fathomed bringing Suzanne home in her place? In her home? You would have never forgiven yourself. Especially now, as you stand here in complete awe.

The bartender slides you your drinks, breaking you from your thoughts. You hand Y/N her’s and you take yours, ushering the two of you towards a sitting area just off the main room. You’re stopped just before you sit, Daniel and Sandra grabbing Y/N’s attention. 

“There you are!” Y/N smiles. 

“Yeah, hey… Y/N this is Sandra, Sandra, Y/N.” he says, introducing the two of them. They start to talk, and Daniel side steps towards you, handing you the keys to the car. 

“Think I’m gonna take her back tonight.” he smirks. 

“That right?” you ask with a smug grin.

“She’s at the same place we are.” he states with the raise of his brow.

“And she ain’t here with someone already?” you ask, trying to avoid conflict.

“Nah, she’s a ring girl for the matches tomorrow.” 

“A ring girl? Jesus, Daniel. Since when are there ring girls? What the fuck, have we already made it to the big leagues?” you laugh. 

“Seems that way, brother.” he smiles. “Catch you in the AM?” 

“Enjoy yourself…” you answer, giving him a nod. 

“Oh, I fully intend to.” he says, stepping back over to Sandra, whispering something into her ear before the two of them take their leave.

Y/N turns back to you with a smug look on her face. “She seems…Nice…”

“Yeah, something like that.” you laugh, holding up the car keys. “What do you think? You wanna get outta here?”

She steps closer to you, running her hand underneath your coat and wrapping it around your waist. “Been waitin’ for you to ask all night.”

—

HER POV

Jake opens the door to the shiny white car, helping you slide into the passenger seat before rushing around the front to join you. You feel your chest bloom with pride seeing him all fancied up, his hair slicked back, and neat. You loved seeing him like this, feeling fancy and expensive with him, but there was part of you that knew you didn’t want him that way. You wanted the rough and dirty mechanic you met in Joslyn. The one that didn’t care about fancy parties and designer clothes.

He spun the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life in its parking space on the side of the road. A smile formed on Jake’s lips, showing you his perfect teeth as he enjoyed being behind the wheel of such a hot car. 

You reached out, tucking a stray hair behind his ear with the rest, “You look good driving it, you know…”

“Ahh, she’s sweet but she’s no Valor. She’s a fun time, but I know who I go home to.” he says, pulling out onto the street. 

You crank the window down just enough to let the cool ocean breeze blow through the windows, taking in the smell of the salty air. The radio is playing hit after hit and you can’t help but to swoon over the man next to you. 

His hand reaches out, laying flat over your thigh, only the sheer black pantyhose between his skin and yours. His fingers graze small circles over as he drives, only taking his eyes off the road every few minutes to catch a glimpse of you. 

The intro to the next song comes over the radio and your heart practically stops in your chest. Your eyes flick over to Jake who is smiling softly as he shakes his head. The Cars.

His eyes meet yours and he squeezes your thigh. “We heard it, you know…”

“Did you?” you breathe. “I didn’t know, but I hoped…”

“Yeah, baby. Every word.” he answers, letting his eyes linger just a little too long. 

“And you still thought I wasn’t comin’?”

“Knowin’ you missed me as bad as I missed you hurt too bad. Didn’t want to give myself any hope of that.” he says, swallowing nervously. “Think of you everytime I hear it now.”

The car slows to a stop at a redlight, Jake turning his body to face you as you wait. He grabs your hands with his and lets his eyes meet yours. “Baby…I– I haven’t done this in so long. Never really thought I would again but, I’m gonna be honest, I can’t go another second without it.” he pauses, checking on the light. “Y/N I want you to be mine. I want you to be my girl. Really mine. My girlfriend.”

“You do?” you ask, feeling a warmth wash over your body. 

“Yeah, baby. Have for a while. Don’t want another second without you. Wanna tell everyone that you’re my girl.”

“Yes.” you breathe. “I’ll be your girlfriend.” Your skin is practically on fire with want for him. Pride for him. Love for him. 

“Good.” he smiles, pulling your hands up to kiss your knuckles, just as the light turns green. “My girl.”

“You know I always have been.”

—

The elevator ride to your room was quiet, only the wet sounds of your lips on his, and the brush of his hands against the sequins of your dress. The ding of the elevator as you arrived on your floor pulled your swollen red lips from his. He was panting trying to catch his breath as you stepped out onto the landing to make your way to your room. His fingers were locked on yours as you walked behind him. He pulled the key from his wallet and opened the door, locking the deadbolt behind the two of you. 

“Should we leave it unlocked for Danny?” you asked, tossing your bag to the coffee table. 

“He won’t be back tonight. S’just us.” he answered, tossing his coat jacket onto the couch. 

“Just us…” you lilt, spinning to face him. 

“Mmhm…” he hums, sliding his hands around your waist. “Just me and you…”

“Do you think you could…Help me out of my dress…” you ask, pulling him towards your bedroom. 

“Think so. I’m pretty good with my hands.” he jokes, shutting the bedroom door behind the two of you. 

You pull your hair piece out and deposit it on the dresser, pulling your hair to the side to reveal the zipper of your dress. He steps up behind you, running his hands over your hips before dipping down to press a hot kiss to the back of your neck. “You looked so beautiful tonight, it’s almost a shame to take this off of you.”

“Mmm but I think you’ll like what’s underneath…” you answer, twisting your neck to look up at him. 

“Then let’s find out…” he says, pulling the zipper down, and watching you shimmy until the dress falls to the floor. You spin in his hands, revealing your bare chest, and your satin panties hiding beneath the sheer hose. 

His hand comes up to palm at your hardening nipples, sucking a kiss into your throat. He lets his hand trail down your chest, reaching the waistband of the black hose, letting his fingers slide across the top. He pulls his lips from your neck and presses them to your lips, licking into your mouth and pulling your groin to meet his. You can feel him fully hard against you, and you can't stop your hand from reaching for him. 

He lets his hand slide over your heat, pressing his fingers firmly to your core, no doubt feeling the wetness soaking through the satin fabric. 

“You wanna take these off for me, baby?” he asks, sliding his fingers into the waistband of the hose again. “Actually, why don’t you lay down and let me take ‘em off.”

You do as he says, backing up until your knees hit the bed, falling into the plush white bedding, a stark contrast against your black hose. He works quickly to remove his shirt, throwing it to the floor to reveal his multitude of tattoos you have come to love so quickly. This was your Jake. 

“Lay back baby, want to look at you all pretty for me like this.” he says, pulling the belt from his pants. The button and zipper come next and before you know it he is crawling onto the bed in his boxers, hovering over your lips with his own. You crane your neck up to kiss him, biting his bottom lip and pulling it with you on your way back down. 

“Fuck…” he groans, sitting up on his knees. 

Your hand connects with his cock again, feeling how hard it is. How bad he wants you. He sucks your nipple into his mouth, letting his tongue flick over the hardened bud. His hands slide down your waist, hooking into your panty hose and pulling them down your legs as his tongue licks a path down your stomach. The hose hit the floor as his lips reached your panties, biting at the fabric before lifting up to his knees. 

His thumb swipes at the wet spot showing through the white fabric. “You wet for me, baby?” 

“How about you find out?” you answer with the wiggle of your hips. 

In a swift movement he pulls your panties from your legs, throwing them to the floor with the rest of your clothes. He places a kiss to your mound before pushing your legs apart, bringing himself eye level with your heat. 

Your hips twist and turn in his grip as he does everything he can to keep you still. You try to calm yourself but you’re desperate for him. He lowers his mouth to your center, letting his tongue swipe through your folds painfully slow. The feeling of his hot tongue on your body is euphoric, a whine leaving your chest already. 

He takes your hand in his bringing it to rest on top of his head, hoping you will guide him to the pace you want him to keep. You take his cue and start to help him move, his tongue working you towards your first orgasm faster than ever. His eyes are locked on yours as he laps at your center, alternating between slow licks and pointed flicks against your clit. 

You feel his fingers slide through your slick before pressing into you, curling towards your sweet spot as the first wave of relief washes over you. His name spills from your lips as your hand grips into his hair, and you want nothing more than to actually have him. All of him. He groans against you as his tongue laps at you once more. He drags himself up your body, and you wind your arms around his neck, pulling his lips to yours. 

He rolls his hips into you and you gasp feeling the sensitivity from your orgasm still lingering. You move your hand down his body tugging at his boxers until he pushes them off himself. His dick hangs heavily between the two of you, and you can’t help but to reach for it, fisting the base in your hand, dragging it through your soaked core.

He lets you take the lead placing him at your entrance, and as you remove your hand he slowly sinks into you. An airy moan leaves your lips as he becomes fully seated inside of you, his hands gripping into the bed sheets around you as his eyes flutter closed. You hitch a leg up over his hip as he begins to roll into you, setting a slower pace than what you’re used to with him. This feels different, this doesn’t feel like fucking. It feels like something more. 

He drops to his elbows, cradling your face in his hands as he kisses you, his hips never relenting in their work to bring you to the edge again. Your eyes connect with his, pulling you in further and further until you feel like you’re positively drowning inside of him. 

“Tell me.” he pants, snapping his hips a little harder into you. “Tell me what you meant. At the party.”

“What?” you breathe, suddenly shocked by the force of his hips. 

“Why you came back for me… Tell me.” he demands, his eyes searching yours. 

You swallow nervously as your chest heaves searching for breath. “Because, Jake. I can’t live without you. I don’t want to. I missed you.”

A moan leaves his chest as his eyes roll back, you can feel him starting to twitch inside of you and you know he is getting close. 

“I missed you, baby. I fuckin’ missed you bad. I ain’t never missed anyone like that. Felt like I was going fuckin’ crazy without you. I don’t even know what I was feelin’. Can’t do that again. Won’t ever let you go again. I can’t.” He says, punctuating his sentence with a thrust of his hips.

“I won’t leave you again Jake. Not ever.” you say, wrapping your arms around his body. Another whimper leaves his lips as he tries to fight off his orgasm. 

You let your eyes connect with his, sliding your arms up to his face to hold it in your hands. You’ve never seen him more vulnerable than he is right now, a man starved for what only you could offer. The love that only you could give him. “Jake, I–”

“What baby, tell me…” he begs. 

“I–I love you…” you confess.

A whine leaves his chest and you feel his hips stutter. His eyes screw shut as his release washes over him, the words from your lips pushing him to the brink. He wraps his arms around your body, holding you close as his hips start to slow and you’ve never felt more whole than you do right now. 

Catching his breath he leans up onto his elbow, brushing the hair away from your face. “You think so? You really do?” he asks, almost scared that you might say no.

“Yeah, Jake. I love you. Been lovin’ you. Never wanted to leave you. Not for a second.” you answer, hoping it will calm his erratic heartbeat. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in love, you know?” he asks, rolling off of you to lay at your side. “I don’t know what it feels like to be in love, but… I think it has to be this. I can’t imagine ever feelin’ somethin’ more than this. It’s– It’s so… I ain’t never felt this before. I think– No. I know. I love you too, damnit. I love you so fuckin’ much and I think I’ve been in love with you from the second I saw you step outta that damn Scout.”

“Yeah?” you ask, feeling a little shy suddenly. 

“Yeah. Ain’t another girl in the world that could tear me away from you. That has to be love, right?”

You wrap your arms around his head and pull his face close to yours, “Yeah baby, I think that’s right.”

—

After a shower and a few more shared ‘I love you’s’, you found yourselves tucked into bed, watching a Johnny Carson rerun. You couldn’t rip your eyes away from Jake, watching him as he giggled at the TV, while his fingers traced shapes on your hand. 

“You ready for tomorrow?” you whisper, causing him to turn his head towards you. 

“Yeah, I think I am. Talked to some of the guys tonight, fights should be pretty tough, but fair.” he answers with a sleepy drawl to his voice. 

“You know if you win you’ll move up…If you want to do that. Wouldn’t be underground anymore. Be traveling a lot more, too.” you press. 

“Yeah, that would be– I– I can’t even picture it honestly. Seems too good to be true. Guess we will find out tomorrow.” he stammers, having a hard time piecing together his thoughts after this long day. 

“Tomorrow will come soon enough. Try and get some sleep, okay?” you say, snuggling yourself into his chest. 

“I don’t know, baby.... I just have this feelin’…” he breathes. 

You turn your head to meet his eyes. “What kind of feelin’?”

He kisses your head and pulls the comforter over your shoulders. 

“I think tomorrow is gonna change the rest of my life.”

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[gretavangroupie]

Kismet (Chapter 8 - Part 2)

Pairing: Josh x Reader, Jake x Reader

Word Count: 18.5k

Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol Consumption, Fluff. Angst: Verbal Sparring, Light Degradation, Arguing, Jealousy, Guilt, Heartbreak, Manipulation Themes. Smut: Kissing, Oral M!Receiving, Female Masturbation (if you squint), Fingering F!Receiving, Unprotected Penetrative Sex.

A/N: The final chapter! Thank you all so so much for your support on this story! We are glad you loved it as much as we did! 🍒

This series is a special collaboration with my best buddy @sacredstarcatcher. If you haven't checked out her previous work Cruel Summer, be sure to add it to your reading list.

HER POV

You wake in the morning feeling soreness bloom in your thighs as you stretch across your bed. Almost immediately, you notice the other side is completely empty. No Jake, no Bloo. There isn’t even any lingering warmth in the sheets. 

Opening your suitcase you opt for a pair of leggings, seeing as your pajamas didn’t make it through the night. You look at the foot of your bed, seeing a black hoodie over the iron bars. Snatching it and walking towards the door, you throw it over your head, immediately overtaken by the smell of Jake’s cologne, Jake’s hair, even his sweat. You look down at your chest, seeing it’s your hoodie from Salem, the one you know he took from you a few months ago. You figure nobody’s going to think anything of it but him, so you carry on down the stairs. 

When you reach the bottom, you see Jake’s backpack resting against the banister. Laid atop the leather flap is Bloo’s leash. It takes you a second, but then you remember. The kayak trip. He’s probably been planning to go with Bloo and leave you behind, which explains why he was up early and left you in bed.

Hayden and Josh are putting together their breakfasts off in the kitchen, so you don’t head directly in there just yet. You instead give your mom a hug around her shoulders as she sits at the kitchen table. Jake is nowhere to be seen, so you assume he’s outside with Bloo.

“Morning.” You say to your mom, resting your head against hers for a moment. Wordlessly, you thank her for the little conversation last night. Slipping into the chair next to her, you sneak a strawberry off of her plate and give her a little smile. 

“You seem to be feeling better. Sleep well?” She asks, and you chew through the question, giving her a big nod. 

“Yeah, I slept great, actually.” You say, looking up as Josh and Hayden come back into the kitchen. Josh looks at you for a moment, his steps stalling only slightly as he lays eyes on your hoodie, putting two and two together. “Guess I was tired.” 

“It sounded like you guys were up late last night.” Josh says, his voice a little too loud for the quiet house, his brow a little furrowed as he pulls out his chair.

“Who?” Your mom asks, intrigued. You cut your eyes to Josh’s, giving him a silent warning.

“It was probably Jake and Bloo. I was out like a light.” You say before he can answer. He sips his orange juice, looking at you over the rim before putting the glass down with a little force. 

“Ah, yeah. They must have been roughhousing.” He says, his tone sharp, a little tongue in cheek. “Speak of the devil.” 

The sliding door opens and Bloo barrels in, Jake stepping across the threshold seconds later in his red swim trunks, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. You can’t catch where he’s looking, but you instead look at Bloo, calling him towards you.

“Good morning, handsome!” You coo, scratching his behind as he wiggles. He’s only there for a moment before he darts back to Jake, circling around his legs. Jake cracks a smile, trying to reach down to him. 

“Easy, easyyy…” He says, his British accent shining through, his voice a little gruff. It sends a tingle down your spine, so you stand and head into the kitchen, getting yourself a plate. You arrange yourself some fruit and a piece of toast, taking the second half of a muffin you’re pretty sure Jake left for you. 

When you get back into the dining room, he’s sitting at the table on his phone, black button up left completely open against his tan skin and you feel your mouth go dry at the sight. He’s fidgety and looking a little antsy as he looks at his phone. He makes a point to look at your plate, then back to whatever he’s doing. 

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Hayden asks the table. 

“Jake is in charge of dinner, that’s all I know.” Karen says from the couch, not bothering to turn around. 

Bloo is still riled up, sniffing around everyone at the table now, hopping every few steps like he’s trying to control himself but he’s just got too much energy. Josh watches him out of the corner of his eye, his expression clearly annoyed.

“Well that should be good.” Hayden responds. “We all know Jake’s—”

Before she can finish her sentence, Bloo hops up on the table with his front paws and snatches Josh’s blueberry muffin off the table disrespectfully, with an almost intentional glint in his eyes. 

“Bloo, no!” You shout to no avail. He eats it quickly, covering the area rug under the table in crumbs. 

“Oh come on!” Josh snaps. “Stupid fucking dog…” He grumbles, pushing his chair back. Jake immediately shoots daggers at him, shocked at his words. 

“Watch your mouth, Josh.” He bites, snapping his fingers. Bloo licks up one last bit of crumbs before lifting his head and quickly darting over to Jake and sitting at his feet. You watch with wide eyes. 

Josh gives Jake a little look of disbelief before picking up his plate and walking into the kitchen. 

Jake then looks at you, his stare still indignant. Then he speaks. 

“Go get dressed. We’re gonna be late.” He says, like his patience is running thin. 

“Late?” You ask, putting your napkin over your plate.

“We’re going kayaking. Do you not remember?” He says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

You feel everyone’s eyes on you. Your mom and Hayden are trying to read the situation and you know Karen’s ears are perked up over on the couch. You want to ask him why he still wants to go with you, or if he’s sure… but you can’t. 

“Right. Sorry. Forgot.” 

You stand from the table and head up the stairs so quickly he may as well have snapped his fingers at you, too. 

“Okay, you stand on the dock and I’ll get in first so I can help you and Bloo.” he says, lowering the small cooler onto the back of the kayak. 

You nod, holding Bloo’s leash as you watch Jake lower himself down into the bright orange kayak, positioning himself in the rear seat. 

“Alright, now Bloo…” he instructs, reaching up to grab his leash from your hand. “Come on buddy, jump in. You’ve got it! You’re fine… Jump!” 

Bloo hesitantly jumps down into the empty space between his legs, cowering slightly as he gains his sea legs. “Alright, bab–” he pauses, catching himself. He clears his throat and recovers quickly. “Give me your hand and step in, just be quick or we’ll flip it.” 

You grab his hand and step down into the seat as quickly as you can, the kayak rocking back and forth as you settle yourself into the front seat. Bloo licks at your ear as Jake reaches up onto the dock to grab the paddles. Your heart is practically beating out of your chest sitting in such close proximity to each other. You can feel the tickle of his leg hairs against your arms with every push of the paddle through the water and you want so badly to run your hand up his leg, but you don’t. 

“Well, where do you want to go, captain?” he asks, continuing to guide the kayak out into open water. 

“Captain? I’m not the captain, you are!” you laugh nervously. 

“Don’t say that, you’ll get me riled up…” he says, a little suggestive. He chuckles as you shake your head. “Besides. You’re in the captain's seat, are you not?” he quips, flicking the cold water onto your legs intentionally.

“Ugh! Jake don’t!” You laugh, swiping the water away. “You picked the seats!” 

“Relaaaax, I’m just kidding. Look over there…You see that little island? Let’s work our way over there, and we can let Bloo run around a little bit.” he pauses, stroking his paddle through the water to keep your heading straight. “Sound good?”

You hold your hand up over your eyes to block the sun, squinting as you try to focus in on the island in question. The two of you work together to paddle across the water as the sun continues to beat down on your face. You hold your hand up every few strokes, taking stock on your current position while attempting to continue paddling one handed. 

“Where are your sunglasses?” he asks as Bloo pants in your ear. 

“I was in such a rush to get out the door I think I left them on the kitchen counter.” you answer, kicking yourself for leaving them behind on what is possibly the most sunny day since your arrival. 

“Oh.” is all he says. It’s quiet for a few seconds before you see the clear framed lenses appear from behind you, pinched between his fingers. You swallow nervously as you accept them from his hands and slide them onto your face. 

“Thank you…” you say with an air of surprise painting your tone. “What about you, now you can’t–”

“Got my hat. Don’t worry.” he says as his hand grips your shoulder in a tight, reassuring squeeze before quickly returning to his paddle. 

As you approach the island Bloo jumps out of the kayak, swimming towards the shoreline. “Bloo!” you yell, knowing that the second his feet touch the sand he will take off running. 

Jake doesn’t miss a beat and whistles with his fingers, causing Bloo’s head to spring towards him. “Stay close.” he orders firmly, and you realize that at some point in the last few days, Bloo has submitted to Jake completely. Something about what just happened made your head spin, but you try to push it away.

Bloo trots up onto the shore, sniffing around precariously as Jake guides the kayak towards the sand. 

“He listened to you…” you say, impressed, tossing the paddle onto the shore. 

“Well… This week I’ve been taking him out for little walks and letting him go off the leash as long as he listens to me. He trusts me.” he says nonchalantly with a shrug.

He steps out into the ankle deep water and drags the kayak the rest of the way onto the shore, offering you a hand to help you stand and join him on the brush filled island. 

“Nice hat.” you smirk, adjusting his sunglasses on your nose. His cheeks are pink from the sun, and he tips the wide rimmed, black hat backwards to meet your eyes. 

“Nice shades.” he grins, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and tossing it onto the kayak seat. “Walk with me?”

You nod as he calls for Bloo, snapping his fingers to get his attention. Bloo rushes towards the two of you, trotting along the shoreline ahead as you walk the expanse of beach. You can feel the tension between the two of you, neither of you willing to make the first move to talk about the events of the night. 

You smile as you watch Bloo chase after seagulls, never quite quick enough to catch one. “What do we do if he does catch one?” you laugh. 

“I don’t know…” he ponders, his British accent popping out for a second while he walks at a leisurely pace by your side. 

“I don’t think we have to worry about it, I don’t think he’s fast enough.” you giggle, and you watch as the dimple peeks out from the corner of his smile. He licks his lips and looks over to you, letting out a sigh. 

“Y/N…” he pauses, trying to collect his thoughts. “I… I don’t think we should have, you know… Done that. Last night.”

“Oh…” Your heart sinks as you wait for him to go on.

“I don’t want to send you any more mixed signals.” he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his red swim trunks. His gaze is cast to the wet sand in front of you, his eyes locked anywhere but on yours. 

“Well it’s a little late for that, don't you think?” you scoff. “What signals are you trying to send?” you ask, feeling a little defensive. 

He looks at you, his eyes flicking across your face as you stare at him. “Fuck, I don’t know. I mean, I, I just…” he pauses, catching sight of Bloo wandering a little too far ahead. He whistles, and again Bloo stops in his tracks and waits for you to catch up. How does he do that?

“Look, I’m gonna lay it all out here, because I don’t think I have anything to lose at this point.” he says, blowing out a breath. 

You bite your lips together as he begins to speak, and you know you deserve every single hurtful thing he’s about to say. 

“I’m mad, Y/N. Fucking furious, actually. I hate that you lied to me so easily, and I hate that he lied to me so maliciously. I’m mad that despite that, you’re all I can think about. I’m mad that I still care about you and Bloo, probably more than I should…” He pauses and takes a deep breath before he continues.

“I’ve never been with anyone that I even remotely considered settling down with, until I met you. And to have that blow up in my face the way it did? I just…” he trails off, running his fingers over his lips. “I’m mad that I still want you because it’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m just unsure of what to do at this point, because I’m still so angry with you. But I’m trying to work on that and not make rash decisions when I’m mad.  But, I kind of already did, I suppose. I just don’t know, Y/N, I just need time to figure this out but, fuck if I don’t need you, too.”

Your heart is racing as he finally spells it out for you and the sick feeling in your stomach is swirling violently. 

“You have every right to feel like that. I was actually shocked you even came on this trip to begin with. I figured that we’d never speak again, to be honest. I fucked up. I did a horrible thing… But please believe I’m being completely honest when I tell you that I never intended to let it get as far as it did. I had every intention of breaking things off with him. I just… Couldn’t. I was trapped by my own selfish desires and his persuasiveness didn’t help. I never wanted to hurt you Jake, but we see how that worked out. It was a mistake, and I’m really sorry.”

“So why did you do it?” he blurts out. 

You blow out a harsh breath, kicking yourself as you recount your stupidity. “I think I was just… Romanticizing everything. I wanted Josh for so long that when he finally showed me an ounce of attention I jumped on it. I made everything out to be more than it ever really was, and that’s on me because he clearly never had the same feelings.”

“You’re exactly right. He never did.” he scoffs, kicking a piece of driftwood into the water. “Probably farther back than you even know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re romanticizing a relationship that was never even there! The whole thing has been a bullshit sham from day fuckin’ one, Y/N! That kiss? That very first kiss? He probably never told you that he had a girlfriend back home, did he?” he asks, his face growing red with anger. 

What?

“What a shock, he failed to tell you that too.” he pauses. “Yeah, he did, and when we got home he forgot you fuckin’ existed, Y/N. Didn’t you ever wonder why he never called, never made an attempt? Why you never heard from him after that? The whole thing was just one giant game to him.” 

Your hands start to shake as you brush the hair away from your face, crossing your arms across your chest. How could you be so stupid?

“And now…” he clenches his jaw and throws his hands in the air. “Don’t you see that he’s always been this way? He always will be. He is never going to change. Not for anyone. Not even someone as amazing as you.” he says, letting his eyes meet yours. 

You don’t even know what to say, so you just stay silent, trying to calm your erratic pulse.

“The whole thing is just so fucked up. I think the worst part of it is that he did all of this just to get his sick revenge on me, completely uncaring about the fallout with you and with Hayden.” he pauses, sighing as he watches Bloo shake a stick. “I know for a fact that he loves her, so I can’t even comprehend his thought process behind all of this.”

“He loves her?” you ask, your voice barely a squeak. 

“Yeah… He uh… He told me last night. We kinda…Got into it for a minute. Aired it all out.” he admits. 

“Did you…Work it out?” you ask, knowing that you were the sole reason they hadn’t been speaking.

“In our own way, I suppose.” he smirks and rolls his eyes. 

You nod as he walks over to a large driftwood log, sitting down on the old weathered wood. You sit next to him, twiddling your thumbs as Bloo traipses through the water in front of you.

“Jake…”

He looks at you in acknowledgement, letting you continue. 

“Why did you keep it? The bracelet…” you ask, bringing to mind the mental image of the tattered string hanging from his keyring. 

He hums and lets out a breathy laugh, “You really want to know?”

“Yes.” you breathe. 

He places his large hand on your sunkissed thigh, patting his hand on top of your skin as he speaks. “Well, I kept it because you told me to. Said you were gonna check that next summer. I remember watching you make it for yourself, picking out all of your favorite colors that day on the beach. I was completely… mesmerized by you that summer. So when you offered to make one for me I knew that I wanted that one. The one you made for yourself, with your favorite colors. The ones that you picked out.” he pauses. 

“I wore that fuckin’ thing every day until it fell off about three years later. It was there for every single show we played, every song I wrote, hell, I think you can even see it in our first music video, much to wardrobe’s dismay.” He laughs. “I panicked the day it fell off, I had worn it so long I didn’t feel like myself without it.”

It’s quiet for a minute or two as he stares out at the water. “Sam found it on the floorboard of my car a few weeks later. I was so relieved, I immediately tied it to my keyring, so I could keep it forever. Think I check for it nearly everyday, just to be sure.”

“But Jake, it’s… It’s just string.” you question. 

“Yeah, maybe to you. But it meant a lot to me.” he paused, licking his lips and gathering his courage. “Was the first thing you ever gave me, but I think I loved you long before that.”

“What?” you breathed. 

“I know at the time you couldn’t see past my brother, but… If you think back I think you’ll realize that I’m in those memories too.”

Your heart breaks at those words.

“I was there… in the background, waiting for you to notice me.” he confesses, picking at a callous on his finger. “When he cut his bracelet off and it was long forgotten about, I still had mine, and I thought about you every day.”

Your mind swirls back through countless memories of countless summers spent pining after the boy who didn’t want you while the one who did had to sit and watch. The one who was always ready to play a board game, the one who was always down to go explore, the one who played you song after song on his beat up guitar, and listened to every stupid ghost story you could think up with wide eyes and a shy smile. The one who loved you the whole time, but you were too blind to see.

“Jake, I had no idea…” you breathe, suddenly feeling suffocated by the memories of him. 

“I know.” He says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “So imagine, now, I finally have you... I finally have that dream girl, only to find out she’s been getting with my brother behind my back the whole time.” he pauses, swallowing harshly. “Killed me a bit, ya know?”

You feel your eyes well with tears as you realize just how shitty of a person you really are. 

“I’m so sorry, Jake. I know you’ll never forgive me for what I did but…I want you to know that I really am sorry. And that I want you. Only you, and I think deep down, no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I always did.”

He smirks and nods his head, “I never said I wouldn’t forgive you. I just said I need a little more time.” 

You feel a glimmer of hope bloom in your chest, and a small smile turns up the corners of your lips. 

He stands and dusts off his trunks, extending a hand to you to help you up. You place your hand in his, but he doesn’t let it go when you stand. “Should we head back?” he asks, peering at you beneath the edge of his hat. 

You nod with a shy smile, as his fingers lace with yours, pulling you down the shore and back towards your kayak. He whistles, pulling Bloo’s attention from the tiny school of fish swimming between his legs.

“Let’s go!” he shouts, and your soaking wet dog comes barrelling towards the both of you in ignorant bliss. The laughter that falls from Jake’s lips is enough to make your heart ache. You wanted this with him, all of it, and though nothing is decided, you wonder if somewhere in his mind he’s considering a second chance because he wants the same thing too.

JAKE POV

Once the three of you get back into the car, you start it up and slowly drive away from the little boat house where you rented your kayak. You follow the GPS, paying attention to the screen while you keep it silenced. Music plays softly, your library shuffling through all of your liked songs. You let most of them play, skipping one or two on occasion. 

“What are you making for dinner?” She asks, her hand tucked behind her seat, reaching to scratch Bloo as he snoozes in the back, tired from his adventure. Her voice is soft and her head lolls to the side to watch you drive. You feel her eyes on you, and without a second thought, you reach over to rest a hand on her thigh.

“Was thinking about grilling.” You answer casually, keeping your eyes on the road. “Hope you don’t mind if we stop at the store.” 

She hums in acknowledgement, laying her head back on the seat. When you glance over, she’s got her eyes closed. The paddling and the sun must have really taken it out of her. Something a little too heavy comes on shuffle, so you skip it to keep the ride peaceful for her. When you hear what comes on next, your heart lurches. You think back to that day on the beach when you were teenagers as the intro to Little Black Submarines plays softly.

“Do you remember this song?” You murmur, glancing at her again. She’s still got her eyes closed, but there’s a little smile on her face.

“I do. I used to make you play it for me that year it came out.” 

“And I always did.” You answer, flipping on your turn signal and checking your mirrors. “Always did anything you asked me,” you add, pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store. She exhales a quiet laugh through her nose, but doesn’t have a rebuttal. 

“Sorry we’re a little late. Someone had a disagreement with the robot woman inside the self-checkout machine.” She says to both of your moms, Josh, and Hayden as you follow her inside. You let out a deep sigh, grumbling. 

“A disagreement?” Her mom asks, giving the two of you a smirk. Her eyes flit between you as you carry in the groceries.

“No, not a disagreement,” You say, your voice full of playful anger. “It’s not a matter of opinion when I put something in the fuckin’ bagging area already and the machine is shouting at me to move the item INTO THE BAGGING AREA.” You shout, craning your neck over the brown paper bags you’re carrying over the threshold of the kitchen. 

You hear her start to tell the story, so you yell for her over your shoulder.

“I could use a hand in here...” 

Seconds later, she trots into the kitchen with a wide grin spread across her face. Clearly she was having a good time teasing you. 

“What can I do?” She asks, a little laugh bubbling out of her. She has a light in her eyes that you haven’t seen over the last few days, like your conversation put her a little more at ease. It’s hard to be upset with her when you see her sunkissed, freckled cheeks tight and shining as she smiles so brightly.

“Peel the potatoes.” You mumble, trying to hide a smile as you wash your hands. She can tell she’s gotten your goat and you know it by the way she snickers and passes behind you. 

Dutifully, she picks up the bag and empties them into the colander. She moves and hovers next to you with a little smirk as you dry your hands, waiting for her turn at the sink. 

“You better watch yourself.” You warn, nudging her with your elbow before stepping away. She responds with another giggle as you toss the tea towel over your shoulder and head out to turn on the grill. 

On your way back in, you usher Bloo back inside as he tries to escape, leaning down to give him a little bit of the attention he’s vying for. While you’re preoccupied, you hear Josh’s voice from your side. You jump, not realizing how close he was.

“You two look awfully chummy.” He sounds arrogant as ever.

All you offer him in response is a single raised eyebrow. The last thing you want to do is tell him anything about the state of things between you and Y/N.

“We are. He’s a good dog.” You say, strolling back towards the kitchen, uninterested in whatever shit he’s trying to pull. 

When you walk back into the kitchen, she’s facing away from you. Clearing the distance with a few steps, you grab her by the waist and spin her around, the potato and peeler in her hands clattering to the floor. She doesn’t have a chance to say a word before your lips crash into hers, your body pressing her against the countertop. 

As soon as it starts, it’s over, and you push yourself away. She goes to speak, but her voice catches. 

“You dropped something,” you say, looking down at the floor, then back up at her flushed cheeks.

HER POV

“I need to horizontally digest.” Josh says through a sigh, standing from the table. Together, you and Jake had made a delicious dinner. Between his perfectly grilled steaks, your rich mashed potatoes, and the roasted vegetables, all six of you were in agreement that there was no room for dessert. 

“Can we play a game?” Karen asks, her words stopping Josh in his tracks. Even though everyone knows Jake and Karen are closer, there is rarely a time where Josh doesn’t indulge his dear mother.

“Can we drink?” Jake pipes up, leaning back in his dining chair, his elbow on the arm, leaning in your direction. You give him a knowing look. 

“Responsibly.” You mumble with a little smile. He meets your eyes and gives you a wink, which is really more of a blink, but you can tell he’s trying.

“We’re on vacation!” Hayden says, and you can’t help the way you roll your eyes. Your attention is grabbed when an arm reaches over your shoulder and plants a bottle of wine on your placemat. Then, a bottle of tequila you know Jake brought. 

“Mom?!” You say in shock, watching her walk around the table to take her seat. She shrugs, feigning innocence and pulling her sweater close around her, freezing cold in the AC despite the fact that it’s the dead of summer.

“Apple doesn’t fall far.” Josh remarks with a smirk, reaching for the bottle of tequila. You use your middle finger to scratch your face, subtly flipping him off as you stifle a laugh. He smooches into the air, sending the snarky kiss in your direction before he unscrews the top.

“Why don’t we play a few rounds of ‘Never Have I Ever?’” Josh suggests, his tone smarmy. You know he’s got something up his sleeve. 

“With our moms?” You counter, reaching for the bottle of wine to refill your glass. 

“We’ll keep it PG-13.” Josh responds quickly. “Do you ladies know the rules?” He asks towards both mothers. Your mom, bless her heart, has no idea what’s going on. Josh gives her a quick rundown of the rules as you look at Jake, giving him a wary raise of your eyebrows. He responds with a little shake of his head, like he’s telling you everything will be fine. 

After a few rounds of easy, PG-13 questions as promised, Karen and your mom tap out, opting to head to their room to finish some movie they started earlier in the day. You smile as Karen makes a point to kiss each of you on the head as she passes by. Your mom gives Jake an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder before bending to give you a kiss on the cheek. 

Once their door clicks closed, you look around the table. 

“Should we call it?” You ask, seeing there’s only a sip of wine left in your glass. 

“No, no! Not yet! Whose turn was it?” Hayden asks with some excitement, leaning forward, her elbows on the table. 

“Mine.” Josh answers, stretching his arms up before putting them behind his head. He hums in thought for a moment before he speaks. “Drink if… you’ve had sex in the last two weeks.”

He’s clearly trying to stir up trouble right off the bat now that your moms have gone to bed. You roll your eyes and drink, everyone else doing so as well. You can tell by his expression that he’s analyzing both you and Jake. Hayden shifts in her seat as she prepares to ask her question. 

“Drink if you’ve hooked up in a public place. In the last year.” She says, and your eyes stay locked on your last sip of wine as it sways in your glass. You know she’s asking because Josh must have told her about the night at the bar. She’s trying to air out details about what went on between you and Josh now that Jake is the audience. 

You take a deep breath and drink, finishing your glass. Like he was waiting for you, Josh sips his beer with a smirk. Hayden’s smile is terse and she’s looking at Jake waiting for his reaction, but she doesn’t get it. You push up from the table to go and get something else to drink, needing a second to figure out how you’re going to get him back for that one. 

When you return, you smile and take your seat, putting the next bottle of wine down in the center of the table. You get comfortable and look around the table. 

“My turn, right?” You ask. Met with a nod or two, you continue. “Drink if you’ve ever been unfaithful in a past relationship.” You say, a little condescending. “Or current.” You add, just to twist the knife. 

You watch as Josh and Hayden both drink. You and Jake glance at each other briefly, as if wordlessly confirming you aren’t drinking. Even if it’s on a technicality. 

Jake clears his throat and fires off his question immediately once they’ve both lowered their drinks. 

“Drink if you’ve ever slept with two girls from two different cities within 24 hours.” His tone is flat, almost bored. He’s not letting Josh get the best of him. 

Josh raises his brows and sucks his teeth, letting out a bitter laugh before he takes a sip of his beer. Hayden’s cheeks redden as her smile falters. It’s clear that this game has started to backfire on them and she’s now upset. 

As Josh thinks of his next question, he stares at Jake with narrowed eyes.

“Drink if you’ve had sex in the last two days.” 

The entire table drinks. Josh shakes his head with a sour smirk, realizing that he was right about the two of you. It’s clear that despite the fact that he apparently loves Hayden and apologized to Jake, his ego is still sensitive as ever and he can’t stand to lose. 

Hayden looks like she’s about to explode. She shakes her head a little, brushing her hair out of her face before she speaks. 

“Drink if you’ve ever slept with someone at this table behind someone else at this table’s back.” She says, stunning all of you silent. It’s tense as all four of you drink, exchanging glances. When it’s your turn, you think for a moment, everyone’s eyes on you.

“Drink if…” You debate with yourself for a moment, but eventually work up the courage. “Drink if you’ve ever strung me along for an entire summer while you had a girlfriend you didn’t tell me about back home, forever tainting my first kiss?” You say, trying to get a reaction out of Josh. 

He rolls his eyes, quickly drinking. As soon as he swallows, he starts to speak, skipping Jake and taking the turn for himself.

“Drink if you’ve ever been too pussy to put a label on a relationship, and then got mad when someone tried to do the job for you.” He bites, leaning in towards Jake, trying to get the heat off of himself. 

“How about you drink if you’ve ever said anything about someone at this table that you’d hate to come to light?” Jake snaps, going back at him. Nobody is drinking. This is a nasty fight pathetically disguised as a drinking game. You can’t decide who to look at as the other three at the table are getting fired up, the alcohol only making things worse.

Josh stares him down with a challenging look. It seems like he really thinks that Jake won’t spill the dirty details, but in his current state he is sorely mistaken. Jake cocks an eyebrow towards him in acknowledgment. “Really…” he growls. “Nothing at all…” he asks, flicking his eyes over to Hayden. 

Hayden and Josh both scoff, sipping their drinks in unison, silently confirming their mutual guilt. 

Hayden speaks up, taking her turn. Her eyes are a little glassy as she’s been getting worked up, sitting in her anger and unresolved feelings.

“Drink if you’ve ever texted a girl at 2 in the afternoon demanding a hookup immediately after a fight with your situationship, only to kick her out of your house minutes after you finish, and then get back together with your ex.” She says, her voice a little shaky as she unloads all of that. Her eyes are locked on Jake, waiting for him to drink. As soon as he starts to lift the bottle to his lips, she looks at you. She’s trying to hurt you. She wants it to be explicitly clear that he called her after the fight and make sure there’s no question of whether they hooked up or not. 

You go to take your turn, but then Josh starts to drink. He looks at Hayden, shrugging. 

“For good measure. I probably have.” He mumbles with his beer in the hollow of his cheek before he swallows it. 

“I’m going to bed.” Hayden snaps, standing from the table. She leaves her half-full glass where it is and stomps up the stairs, making her anger more than apparent to all three of you. It’s awkwardly silent for a few seconds before you take a breath and follow her lead, picking up her glass and taking it with you to the kitchen.

“Hey.” Jake says, stopping you in your tracks. “You too?” His words are a little slurred and his cheeks are rosy from the alcohol. The way he’s asking makes it seem like he’s checking in on you, so you nod, giving him a little smile. 

“I’ll take him out.” He says, standing and gesturing with head towards the door, silently telling Bloo to go that way. You thank him and slip into the kitchen, cleaning up the last of the glasses and bottles left on the counters. 

As you gently try and place a wine bottle into the recycling, you get the wits scared out of you by a pair of chilly hands on your waist, the gap of skin exposed between your high waisted shorts and crop top. You know they aren’t Jake’s, because his hands are rarely anything but warm. 

“S’just me,” Josh mumbles, moving to rest his head in the dip of your shoulder. You freeze in place, turning your head slightly. He misinterprets it, unsurprisingly, and places a soft kiss to the shell of your ear. 

“Josh…” You warn as the alcohol in your system makes your face flush more than it should.

“Been waiting to get you alone. Feels like we’re kids again…” he mumbles, his voice so much lower than it usually is that you get goosebumps up your arms. 

“Well you shouldn’t have been.” You whisper sharply, trying to turn around in his arms. When he chuckles, you can feel it against your back as it rumbles through his chest. You reach for his wrists, gently wrapping your hands around them to pull him off of you and finally turn to face him. 

“Come on, Cherry…” He pleads softly, pushing a lock of your hair behind your ear. You crane your neck away from him, shaking your head. 

“Jooooosh,” you admonish quietly, a breathy laugh leaving you. “Stop trying to make things messy again. I made a little headway with Jake today and… I don’t want to mess it up.”

“I’m sure you did.” He says, his tone suggestive because of the word headway. You scoff another laugh, stepping away from him.

“I mean it. Nothing good will ever come from us, you and I. You set that in stone all those years ago.” You say definitively despite your slightly tipsy state. “And stop using me to try and scare away your feelings for Hayden.” 

He looks away when you call him out and puts his hands in his pockets. His jaw drops for a moment before he steps back and gives you a little smirk.

“You know, Cherry… You’re smarter than I thought.” You figure he’s talking about the bomb you dropped about the first kiss earlier.

“I didn’t figure it out on my own.” You confess, crossing your arms over your chest. “He told me this afternoon while trying to get me to realize how much of an idiot I’ve been.” He laughs a little bit at that and you can’t help but smile softly. 

“You’re easily influenced. That doesn’t make you an idiot. I know I can be… persuasive.”

“Well… Stop.” You say, looking over his shoulder at the sliding glass door. The coast is clear for now. “You like her. Just be good to her. See it through.”

He sucks in a breath through clenched teeth.

“I”m not sure I’m capable of that, but it’s nice that after all of this, you still think I am, sweet Cherry.” He says, looking up at you again.

“I’ve seen through the cracks. You can be vulnerable.” You say with a little smile. “Let her in all the way. Don’t be a dick to her just because you’re scared.” 

He nods a little, but it’s clear he hates talking to you like this. So you decide to let him off the hook. You step past him towards the stairs.

“Send him upstairs when he gets back in. It’s late and your chances of getting Jake’d are dangerously high.” You warn. He laughs and gives you a playful salute as you ascend the staircase.

“Will do.” 

Once upstairs, you go through an abridged version of your bedtime routine. You wash your face and braid your hair and Jake still hasn’t come up. You walk out of the bathroom as you brush your teeth to look out the window. Out in the moonlight, you see Jake on his way back towards the house, Bloo calmly walking at his side. You can’t help but smile at the two of them, your heart feeling the slightest sense of relief. Things feel right for the first time in a while. 

It’s a few minutes before you hear them both trudging up the steps, and once Jake is in the bedroom, there’s a cacophony of giggles coming from behind the door. You listen closely through the door, trying to decipher what he’s saying. Between the slurred words and what you think is his charming, drunken British accent, you can’t pick it up, so you open the door. 

“Yeah, that’s right…” he coos, squatting down to Bloo’s level as he holds his face. “You are the best boy… The smartest, the wittiest…” he continues, the accent growing thicker now. “The shiniest little silver dodger, I ever saw. My little silver doubloon, aren’t you? My doubloon….”

He ponders for a second as you stand watching from the doorway, completely unbeknownst to him. 

“My god, mate…” he pauses, throwing his hands into the air. “Doubloon…That’s it! We have to change your name!” he laughs to himself. “I don’t think ya mother will go for it, but I can be convincing, trust me, you…”

“Are you two quite done?” you ask, overhearing his epiphany. 

“Baby…” he slurs, the accent only adding to his drawn out tone. 

“Yes…” you answer, raising a brow. 

“We have…an idea…” he growls. 

“An idea?” you encourage.

A smile stretches menacingly across his face, “Bloo wants to change his name to Doubloon…” he says with the wiggle of his brows, swiping his hand across the air dramatically. “Already halfway there aren’t we, love?”

You shrug your shoulders, because he is sort of right, maybe it serves as just a longer version of his name. His government name, maybe. “And why would I do that?”

“Because! The man needs a proper name…Something majestic and mysterious!” he continues, arguing his point tooth and nail as he holds Bloo like an old war comrade. 

You roll your eyes and laugh, “Call him whatever you want. Just get in bed…”

Jake giggles and ruffles his ears quickly. “Told you I could do it…” he pauses, shaking your poor unsuspecting dog, “She can’t resist me…” 

He stands and starts to undress, ushering Bloo towards the bed with the wave of his hand. 

“Just! You...” you say, quickly putting a stop to their little love fest as you return to the bathroom sink.

“Oooh…” he responds, a little cheeky. You can’t help but watch him through the reflection of the mirror as he slips off his linen pants, kicking them off somewhere in the room. You turn off the bathroom light and navigate through the moonlit room, finding the bed with your outstretched arms.

“There she is…” he coos, his voice raspy, his accent still apparent. He welcomes you into bed, pulling the covers down. He has his arm up with the intention of tucking you under his arm, but instead, you take it upon yourself to straddle him.

“What’s got you all hot blooded, hm?” He mumbles, running his hands down from your waist to your hips. His voice nearly makes you swoon, the barely-there slurring of his words and the slight hoarseness from it being the end of the day.

“You…” you answer, leaning down to place a kiss to his jaw, then his throat. He shifts under you, chuckling softly. “You’re not mad?” You question, continuing to leave wet kisses on his neck, nipping softly at his skin. He smells like sunscreen and a little sweat and lingering cologne and.... Home. You want to stay hidden in the crook of his neck forever.

“Who am I to deny a pretty lass tryin’ to get a leg over?” He responds, his hands on your thighs now, slipping up underneath your shorts without a second thought.

“I just figured… after that stuff downstairs…” There’s a little worry in your voice as you push up on your palms, looking down at him. 

“How about…” he starts, reaching up to rub a thumb over your cheek. “Instead of using that little head of yours to worry yourself sick, you give me a kiss. Be sweet to me.” 

You let out a shaky breath, nodding as he tenderly holds your face. You lean back down, kissing him slowly, your tongue meeting his to taste the lingering red wine and… tequila? He must have taken the bottle out with him on his walk with Bloo. No wonder you can’t seem to get him to shake that accent. 

“You’re drunk…” you whisper against his lips, a breathy laugh leaving your lips. He hums in response, giving you a peck on the lips.

“Three sheets to the wind.” He confirms, and you go to slide off his lap with an eye roll, but he grips your hips tighter so you can’t go. “I can still sail. Might need a little help, though.” He says, his smirk audible as he speaks. You roll your hips against him but aren’t met with much enthusiasm, if any.

You take it upon yourself to be a bit more helpful than that, sliding down the bed, sneaking your fingers into the waistband of his briefs. As you tug them off, you take him in your hand, not quite erect but it’s an attempt. You place a wet kiss to his lower abdomen, then his hip, sucking the thin skin into your mouth and sucking hard. That pulls a gasp from him, and you feel him twitch, now half-hard, in your palm. 

Now that he’s giving you a little more to work with, you take him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the perfectly round head of his cock, applying more pressure than usual with your tongue because you know he needs it.

“Okay, yep that’s—that’s helpful.” He chokes out, his hand reaching for the back of your head. You release him from your mouth with a pop and take him in your hand.

“Do you want me to keep going?” You ask, a little breathless, stroking him slowly.

“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I said no.” He says, lifting his head to look at you with a smile you can barely see in the moonlit room. While you have his eyes, you tilt your head down, letting a drop of spit fall onto the head of him, then down your knuckles, lubricating him in your hand. His head falls back onto the pillow at the sight, a too-loud groan echoing off the ceiling. 

You shush him, moving your hand slightly faster, the only sound left in the room is that of your slick hand moving over him. You take the tip of him into your mouth again, hollowing out your cheeks as your hand works the rest of him.

“Alright, alright. Get up here.” He says, letting go of your head and tapping your shoulder in an attempt to get you to move faster. You laugh softly, slipping your shorts and underwear off swiftly before climbing back up the bed. 

He helps to pull your shirt over your head, pulling you down with a soft hand on the side of your neck. 

“Are you sure you’re not mad?” You ask, a little worry still gnawing at the back of your mind. 

“I mean, I’m not any madder than I was earlier…” he says, his breathing a little labored. “I mean, you found out some shit about me I’m not too proud of.” 

You rest your forehead against his for a moment as you think. 

“I guess. But I already knew about that. The stuff Josh said…” You say, trailing off.

“It doesn’t matter. Let me make you feel good, baby. He doesn’t bother me. Let me take what’s mine and to hell with him.” He says, lining himself up to slip inside you. You let out a tiny, choked whine at the feeling of him sliding against your clit, not realizing how much more sensitive you are when tipsy like this.

“God, I missed you…” You confess with a smile, barely a whisper as he bottoms out inside you. He moves his hand to cup your cheek, peppering your face with sweet kisses. You can feel his smile as he does it. He’s a drunken lover-boy underneath you, syrupy sweet and everything you’ve ever needed. You let your eyes flutter closed as you roll your hips against his, savoring the feeling of him. 

“Baby…” He says softly, trying to get your attention. Your eyes flutter open, looking at him in the shadows. 

“We gonna be alright?” He asks, his words somewhat vulnerable.

There’s a long pause, but it's filled with the sound of your breathing, little sighs leaving your lips as you ride him slowly. 

“Tell me… Tell me I’m the only one, tell me there’s no one else.” He says his voice hushed. “Tell me I’m still your forever. That you still want me as much as I want you…”

The words spill from his lips, desperate and drunk, his voice thick with emotion. You moan at the image of him beneath you, seeing his unbridled wanting buried beneath the angry, cold exterior finally coming through. His adoration for you spills over as he starts to rut his hips up to meet yours, the feeling growing more intense. 

Before you can answer, he backpedals. Jake, usually so confident and comfortable with you, backpedals. He rushes, unsure if you’re on the same page, stammering again.

“I mean, only if you want to. Only if you want to.” 

“Jake…” You whine, furiously pressing your lips to his, your tongues immediately meeting. You barely break the open mouthed kiss to speak. He doesn’t stop kissing you, his lips attaching wherever they can find purchase while your words spill out, desperate to soothe his insecurities. 

“You have no idea, Jake. You have no idea how badly I want you. How much I need you…” You desperately whisper as he traces his lips from the bottom of your jaw to your ear. He sucks softly at the skin of your throat before soothing the soft skin with the warmth of his tongue. 

“I can’t sleep without you, baby. I swear to god. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I’m no good without you.” He says, his voice a little louder now as he cradles the back of your head, pulling his mouth from your neck and back to your lips, coaxing at your tongue with his own. 

His drunken words are full of unashamed honesty you feel like you’ve never seen from him. You want to tell him you feel the same way, beyond the haze of lust you’re lost in right now. But you’re not able to articulate it- there’s something holding you back.

“Jake…” 

“I adore you.” He confesses with an easy smile, like he can’t stop the words from flowing. He kisses you again, sucking softly on your bottom lip as he reaches for your hips, needing more of you. “You know that, don’t you, baby? How much I adore you?”

“I know.” you answer shakily, reaching forward to run your fingers through his hair lovingly, wanting him to understand that you do adore him just as much, maybe more, even if you can’t say it. “I know you do.” 

You do know. But after the mess you’ve made, you desperately need to hear the slurred, reassuring words falling from his perfect lips. You’ve never been more thankful for tequila. There are times you need more than he’s willing to offer, and this is everything you’ve ever wanted. His voice and his words and the way he fills you so perfectly have you trying to hold yourself together, your body begging you to succumb to the pleasure and fall over the edge for him.

“No baby, I... fuck.” He’s cut short as he groans, feeling you warm and wet as you tighten around him. “You’re so fuckin’ perfect. God, I can feel you. Cum for me. Let me have it.” He says, more talkative in the last half hour than you’ve ever seen him. You let your elbows bend, burying yourself in his neck as you move your hips in tandem with his. 

You feel his steady hand around the front of your neck, applying pressure upwards, not around, guiding you back up onto your palms. 

“Don’t lean down that far,” he says, breathless, looking between your eyes and down to where your bodies are meeting. “Want to see your pretty face when I make you cum.” 

The emphasis he puts on “I” makes your soul drop to your toes. It’s seconds before his name is falling from your lips like a prayer, your vision blurring as you’re pulled under a wave of pleasure. You keep your eyes locked on to his as long as you can before you lose control and they’re closed tight, a whine fighting against your lips as you hold them between your teeth, trying to keep yourself quiet.

“God, I fuckin’ love it when you make sounds like that,” he mumbles as you catch your breath, still fucking up into you in pursuit of his own end. You can tell by the tightness in his voice that it’s close. 

“I love…fuck… I love you,” he says, and his hips still for a few seconds. He lets out a whine, a sound you don’t think you’ve ever heard from him before, and he pulls you close as you feel him start to pulse inside you. Everything all at once makes your brain almost freeze- your head is swimming with endorphins and feelings and wine and confusion and you don’t think you could formulate a single thought if you had to. 

He says it, again and again, until he finally stills and his grip on you softens. You rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you listen to each other breathe. The words are caught in your throat. Does he mean it? 

He’s drunk, and he’s pouring his heart out, and you’re not sure if saying it back to him will make you a fool when he sobers up and explains it away. So you listen to the beat of his heart until he gently nudges you to get cleaned up, kissing your cheek softly. 

JAKE POV

Wracking your foggy, drunken brain, you try to remember if she said it back. Did you not hear it? Do you not remember it? Did you not actually say it out loud?

You stare at the ceiling, Y/N tucked under your arm, her breathing quiet as you listen to the sound of the crashing waves just outside. You know you have to say something, but you’re not sure what. 

“We don’t have to resolve everything now, or this week, or... I don’t know. There’s no deadline here.” You say softly, and she stirs a little to look at the side of your face from where she lays. 

“Even though I’m mad at you… it doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. I meant what I said on the beach. And I meant what I said a little while ago.” You confess, and she nods, half asleep, clinging to you under the sheets, her face stuck to your skin as she holds you close. You can feel the gentle brush of her eyelashes against you as she blinks, but it stops soon enough once she closes her eyes. 

Wrapped up in each other, you both sleep as long as your alarm allows. You silence your phone quickly, already half awake when it starts to buzz on the nightstand. You slip out of bed and gather the few things of yours in her room, heading to your own to pack and catch your flight. 

Before you go, you catch sight of your t-shirt from the night before. It’s tucked underneath her, hanging halfway off the bed, and you know that if you try to reach for it and pull, it will undoubtedly wake her. So you opt to leave the distressed, worn t-shirt, despite it being a staple of your wardrobe, and take her black Salem hoodie back as an even trade. 

You pack your toiletries after you take a quick shower and sneak out of the house, heading for the airport in your rental car as everyone in the house sleeps. You spend the entire drive and flight second guessing everything you can remember saying the night before, waiting to see if she reaches out, wondering where you are. But her text never comes. 

HER POV

Vacation ended a little differently than you would have liked. Jake was nowhere to be found the morning after he drunkenly confessed his love to you. You packed up and made the drive home with Bloo, making a few stops along the way. You kept an eye on your phone as you drove, but you didn’t hear from Jake. 

The more time went on, the more you had convinced yourself that he regretted what he said and did that night. You let the seeds of doubt bloom into an out-of-control garden at the front of your mind by the next day. 

You gave it a week. You knew he was going to be busy as they got ready to leave, so you decided not to put any more pressure on him. You posted some pictures from vacation on your instagram stories, and you saw he watched them, but he didn’t reach out. 

At that point, you decided to text him, trying old methods and hoping they would work. You sent him a picture of Bloo at the front door on Sunday morning with a paw print emoji. He responded, a short and sweet text that just said, “Tell my buddy I miss him.”

When you answered, maybe a little too quickly, you asked how his time in Europe was going, but sat there for hours waiting for a response. Realizing it was 1am his time, you talked yourself off the ledge and hoped he would answer in the morning. 

He didn’t.

After two weeks, Jake didn’t reach out. You truly would have believed he was dead if it wasn’t for the band’s socials providing proof of life via photos of him overseas on tour. You sat at your kitchen table as you searched for jobs, staring at the most recent photo they posted of him. Looking at the clock you figured it was the early evening in Copenhagen. You pulled up their website and quickly confirmed they didn’t have a show that night, so you boldly opened your contacts and called him. It rang and rang until your hope died and you were greeted by the robotic voice telling you his voicemail was full. 

He did text you two days later. He said he was sorry he missed you and that he would call you when he could.

It was then that you became incredibly self aware. There had to be a reason he wasn’t speaking to you. He had said he was angry, sure, but you didn’t think he was so upset with you that he didn’t even want to stay in contact. It was difficult for you not to overthink every second of the time you spent together in Savannah. 

The third week was radio silent. You didn’t try to call or text or interact at all. You could tell Bloo was feeling what you were. He was constantly moping around the house.

“How do you even know it’s Sunday?” You asked Bloo, your tone cranky and flat. “You’re a dog. You don’t even have a calendar. You can’t even read.” 

He whines in response, scratching a paw at the welcome mat. 

“He’s not coming. I don’t know if he told you what the hell’s going on, but I’m almost positive you’ve lost your running partner.” 

As you poured your coffee, you realized you were picking a fight with your dog over your not-boyfriend not calling you. Maybe it was a little pathetic. Either way, there was seemingly a dark cloud over your house.

That night, you put on the white t-shirt he left in your room on vacation. You sat on the couch and watched 50 First Dates and cried. You thought of all the ways he had shown you he loved you, not only over the last 9 months, but since you were kids. His wordless ways of showing you he cared. His gentle touch. The way he would remember things about you that most would think were insignificant. How many times had he shown you he was thinking of you- at the hardware store? While he was away, telling you about anything he stumbled across that reminded him of you? 

It’s too much to bear when you put into perspective how much you had taken for granted. And for what? A shot at fulfilling some teenage dream with someone who never cared about you anyway? 

You realized you were crying and moping around the house as he was off gallivanting in Europe, living his dream. Instead of letting yourself spiral further, you got up, got dressed, and put on your running shoes. By the time you and Bloo were halfway down the block, you had escaped your thoughts, if only for the hour. 

The next morning, you wake up and head to the grocery store. You figure that Whole Foods, which is usually a crowded mess inside, will be a little slower on a Monday morning, so you use your unemployment to your benefit and head out with your reusable bags around 10am. 

The store is quiet as expected when you get in, a few people there, but nowhere near as chaotic as an evening or a weekend. You stroll the produce section with your cart, staring at the strawberries, trying to decide which carton you think will last the longest.

“Y/N?” 

You freeze at the sound of the familiar voice, turning over your shoulder. You’re met with Hayden, her shiny blonde hair, her effortless beauty showcased in a flowy, brown patterned sundress. You smile politely, maybe even a little sympathetically as she approaches.

“Hayden, Hi… How are you?”

“I’m great! I’ve been good. Things are really good.” She says, and you nod along like you’re happy to hear it.

“They’ve been pretty busy on this leg of the tour, huh?” You ask, trying to find some common ground. She tilts her head a little in confusion.

“Really? I mean, I know the time difference has been hard, but Josh and I always find time.” She says, sending your heart plummeting. 

“So things are still going well between you two?” You ask, almost reactively, trying to process what she just said as she chatters about how wonderful she and Josh are.

“Oh, yeah. We’ve never been closer. You know what they say, love is a battlefield or whatever!” She blabs, and your smile changes to a grimace as you listen to her. You give her a halfhearted laugh in response, your head spinning as you realize Jake hasn’t been busy. He’s been ignoring you. 

“And what about you and Jake?” She asks, smiling. “How do you feel about the way he’s changed up his look over there? I think Europe suits him.” She says, and you start to panic. What does she mean? You haven’t seen him, and he’s been posting on social media, but it’s just been travel stuff.

“Oh, haha, well, you know…” You answer vaguely, forcing a smile through the interaction. You need to exit this conversation as soon as humanly possible. “Hey, it was so great seeing you but I’m in a little bit of a time crunch.” You lie putting a hand on your cart.

“You too, Y/N. I’ll see you soon, I guess!” She says, her blinding white smile sending a wave of nausea over you. You wonder if they’re coming home soon and that’s why she said that as you push your cart away, heading to quickly finish your shopping and get home. 

The entire rest of your shopping trip and drive home, your thoughts are occupied with Jake. You almost get a little angry thinking of the way he’s been blowing you off after everything he told you at the beach. Once you load in all of your bags and place them on the counter, you don’t even put them away before you frantically pull out your phone and hover over his contact. 

You deserve answers, even if they’re not the ones you want to hear. He should at least have the courage to tell you the truth after being hard on you for your lack of honesty. 

You tap his name and call him without another thought. You don’t check the time, you don’t look into where he is, you don’t seem to care. He could be on stage at this very second, but it doesn’t matter to you. You’re calling. 

It rings twice before he answers and you hear the commotion in the background before you hear his voice. 

“Hello?” 

You didn’t think you’d get this far. You take a shaky breath and respond.

“Jake… Hi.” 

You hear a few hits of a drum in the background, then the sound of Sammy playing piano. He mumbles a little bit to someone else before he responds.

“Oh, Y/N. Hey…” He says, clearly distracted. You check the time and realize they’re probably backstage.

“I just, um. I just wanted to see how you were doing…” You say, your voice laced with a hint of desperation. 

“Yeah, you know what, listen, uh, you kinda caught me in the middle of something but let me give you a call back later, okay?” He asks, and there’s some rustling like he’s got his phone resting between his cheek and shoulder. 

“Will you actually call me later, or are you just saying that?” You say with a little attitude. You hear the rustling stop, like you stopped him in his tracks with that. 

“I will call you later. I give you my word.” He says definitively. You sigh in response, wondering if he really means it this time. He hears it and tries to reassure you. “Things have just been… really crazy. And I feel like whenever I go to call you, you’re probably asleep or busy…”

“You could text me back,” you counter, calling him out. He gives you a little chuckle, like you’ve caught him there.

“I’ll call you after the show. I promise.” He says, and you pause for a moment before finally relenting.

The two of you end the call shortly after. You huff and puff as you put away your groceries, wondering if he really means it this time.

The day goes by and you try to keep yourself busy, staring at the clock all the while. It’s been hours and you still haven’t heard from him. If it’s 8pm your time, you know it’s 1am where he is. Clearly he’s forgotten about you and just lied earlier to get out of the conversation. It feels like your heart’s been stepped on, but after everything… maybe this is what you deserve. 

You decide to take a shower and get ready for bed, leaving your phone on the bathroom counter just in case he calls. After a thorough wash of your hair, face, and body, a shave of your legs, and even some time just staring at the wall under the hot water, your phone doesn’t ring. 

You get out and start to get dressed, toweling off your hair. As you flip your head back over, your phone starts to ring. Scrambling to pick it up, pausing before you slide across the screen, looking at the picture of him playing guitar on the sofa, the sun shining on him as he looks out the window that you chose for his contact. You snap yourself out of it, answering the call.

“Hello?” You say, trying to act normal.

“Hey, sorry I took so long… we couldn’t seem to get out of the venue tonight. Felt like everything that could have gone wrong did..” He says, and you want to cry at how genuine his voice sounds. It’s like all the pent up anger you had for him a few minutes ago just melted away.

“It’s fine, It’s not too late here..” You say with a little laugh, hanging your towel up quickly. You put him on speaker as you reach for your hairbrush. “I feel like I haven’t heard your voice in forever.” 

“I know, I know. It’s easy to get lost in the world outside your phone here. I feel like I’ve seen so much but not nearly enough all at the same time.” He says, his voice bouncing off the walls of your bathroom.

As soon as he finishes his sentence, Bloo barks from your bedroom, rushing into the bathroom. He must have heard Jake’s voice and it seems to have immediately riled him up.

“Oh, god, sorry. He can hear you and now he’s having a moment.” You explain with a laugh, trying to calm him down. He chuckles and you feel your heart swell.

“Oh, lemme see ‘em. Where’s my buddy?” He says, and you look down at your phone on the counter to see he’s trying to FaceTime. 

“Hold on, hold on…” You say with a laugh, trying to get yourself together quickly before answering. You shake out your hair and move out of the bathroom into the more flattering light of your bedroom. Bloo follows, wagging his tail and wiggling around in excitement. 

“Okay, here...” You say, hitting the button and watching his face appear on the screen. There in front of you is a clean shaven Jake, a half smile on his face, his arm behind his head as he rests in his hotel bed. Against the stark white sheets, you see his wet hair… but it’s so short it doesn’t even reach his shoulders. He looks good. He’s still as gorgeous as ever. But he’s not your Jake. Without realizing, you gasp a little. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I had to get a couple inches off. It wasn’t healthy and had kinda stopped growing, so…” He says, a little embarrassment in his voice as you gawk at him through the phone. 

“No, I… the mustache…” you say, your mouth agape. He nods, running his thumb over where it used to be. 

“Oh… I mean, it was patchy…” He says, and you suck your teeth in response.

“I really liked it.” You confess, playful disappointment in your voice. It makes him laugh, maybe even makes him a little shy as he lets out what you can only call a giggle. Bloo barks again and you roll your eyes, kneeling down onto the floor and turning around the camera.

“There he is! Oh, look at youuuuu, little Doubloon!” Jake says into the phone as Bloo taps his toes excitedly, trying to figure out how to get to Jake. You pause in thought for a moment while he can’t see your face. Then you turn the camera back around.

“You remember that?” You ask, a smile on your face despite how you’re scrutinizing him. Jake’s smile falters a little before he speaks.

“Yeah, yeah, I do… Had a little too much to drink that night, I know. But it was a genius revelation and it’s still a perfect name.” He says, recovering quickly.

If he remembers that, he has to remember everything that came afterwards. Especially as he sobered up and time went on. He has to remember saying he loved you. He has to.

“Has he been behaving?” He asks, and you nod. You turn the camera back around so he can see Bloo again. 

“I’ve been trying to work on letting him off the leash at the park, but he doesn’t seem to listen very well. He gets excited and distracted…” You say, not wanting to address the fact that he doesn’t listen to you nearly as well as he listens to Jake, despite the fact that he’s your dog.

“You have to be more assertive.” He says, laughing. You turn the camera around and give him a look. 

“I’m working on it.” You say, your voice flat, like you’re trying to tell him more than your words are letting on. This very call is a result of you deciding to be a bit more assertive with Jake. 

“You look good.” He says casually, a smirk on his lips. You roll your eyes, trying not to let your cheeks turn pink, but they do.

“When are you coming back?” You ask, getting straight to the point, but he evades you again.

“Soon. I’ll be back soon.” He says, vaguely. You nod, just looking at him for a few moments. You want to press more, but you don’t know if it’s going to blow up in your face, so you keep quiet.

“It’s really beautiful over here. I’ve been thinking about you, even if I haven’t been calling...” He says, basically admitting that he’s disappeared on you. 

You nod, giving him a sad smile. Something doesn’t feel right, even though you’re happy to see him and your heart feels full for the moment. 

“I’ve been thinking about you too.” You say softly. He nods like he understands, the same way you did. There’s a lot that’s going unsaid. 

“I’ll let you get to bed. I know it’s late there.” You say, not wanting him to feel like you’re putting him on the spot. He sighs, stretching a little in bed. You try not to stare, but it’s hard.

“Alright, baby.” He says, and you swear your heart stops. “Get some rest. I’ll talk to you soon, alright?” 

It takes you a minute to respond.

“Okay.” You squeak out, touching your phone with your other hand like it’s his face. You feel like you could cry at any second. “Night, Jake.” 

He smiles at you before saying goodnight and ending the call.

Two weeks pass without a word between the two of you. The small victory you thought you had, was ripped out from under your feet quicker than you could blink. 

You continued to catch glimpses of him through social media, noticing now his shorter hair and his bare face. It was two in the afternoon when you nervously clicked into the live stream of the show. You hadn’t let yourself search his name on socials or watch any shows thus far, knowing that seeing him in his element would make things a thousand times worse. But today, you couldn’t help but to click on that notification. 

Your hands were sweaty as you waited for them to take the stage, the girls in the video chattering with nerves themselves. Your heart dropped right along with the curtain, seeing the four of them on the stage. Your eyes were completely magnetized to Jake. Though incredibly grainy, you can see his face, his smile, the pure happiness radiating from his pores and you can’t help but to feel completely shattered knowing that this is probably the only way you’ll see him from now on.

You barely make it through one song before it’s all too much. He looks so carefree, and you start to realize that maybe it’s because the burden of you has been lifted from his shoulders. You lock your phone and throw it to the coffee table, knowing better than to try and watch in the first place, and telling yourself to let him go.

You feel the bottle of wine from the night before still swirling through your system as your eyes pop open, groaning as you attempt to pull yourself out of your bed and pull on a pair of sweatpants. The past few nights had ended similarly as you wallowed in your sadness. 

Bloo waits patiently at your bedroom door, eager to go outside and do his business, and you have no choice but to oblige as he’s let you sleep thirty minutes longer than usual. 

You tie your hair up into a messy bun as you trudge down the hallway, running into the kitchen counter with a thud on your way to the back door. Bloo bolts out the door and you head for the coffee pot, starting a bold brew and popping an Advil in order to mitigate the impending hangover. 

Bloo scratches and whines at the backdoor, something slightly out of character for him, but again it’s already been a weird morning for the two of you so you don’t think much of it. As he runs inside his tail is wagging and he is completely wound up, for absolutely no reason. Your sluggish brain is in no way capable of handling this type of energy from him this morning. 

The coffee pot signals that it’s ready and you pull a mug from the cabinet, feeling a pang in your chest as you see the words ‘Savannah, GA’ printed on the mug. It had been six weeks since your vacation, six weeks since you saw Jake, six weeks since he told you he wanted to fix things, six weeks since his drunken ‘i love you’,  and six weeks since you had a real, meaningful conversation with him. 

You poured the coffee into the mug, letting the smell ease your mind as you headed towards your couch. You placed the mug onto the coffee table as a knock landed on your front door, scaring you half to death. Bloo barks at the noise with a wagging tail and for a moment your heart stops. 

You rush over to the door, pulling a sweatshirt over your head to conceal your braless top half. You quickly unlock the door and push Bloo back with your foot to keep him from escaping. There standing on your porch is Jake, clearly ready for a run. 

“...Jake.” you breathe, shock still coursing through your body as you remember your slightly hungover appearance.

“Hey.” he answers nervously, rubbing his arm with the opposite hand.

“You’re– You’re back…” you say, previously unknowing when they were slated to return home from Europe.

“Yeah, we uh– we got back yesterday afternoon.” he says, reaching a hand out to lean on your door frame. 

“Oh…” you breathe, feeling a small wave of sadness rush over you that you weren’t his first stop upon arrival stateside. 

“I was wondering…If you don’t mind…I’d really like my old running buddy back.” he says, his eyes searching yours for any hesitation. 

Your lips turn up in a smile, as you push the front door open just enough for Bloo to slither out. 

“Oh! Buddy! Oh my gosh! Did you miss me? Huh? Huh? Did you?” Jake sings out, squatting down to shower Bloo with pent up affection. “Yeah, yeah, ask her! Ask your mom and we’ll go right now!” 

You smile and shake your head, reaching inside to grab his leash from the coat rack. You hand it to Jake, who is trying to stifle down his enthusiasm. “Okay, just…Be careful. He has a lot of energy lately.”

“No one to take him on runs?” he asks nonchalantly, and you wonder if this is his way of asking if you’ve been seeing anyone. 

“Nope. He only wants to go with you.” you answer, hoping to ease his nerves. He smiles and lowers his sunglasses. 

“Good. We will be back. You’ll be here, right?” he asks, walking down your sidewalk. 

“I’ll be here.” and with that, the two of them take off running down the street as if no time had passed at all. 

Once you shut the door behind you a wave of panic sweeps over you. He will be back, and you know he is going to want to talk. You rush to the bathroom, turning on the shower and waiting for the water to warm. You quickly tidy up your bathroom, staring at yourself in the mirror as you go, trying to figure out what to wear when you get out. You need to be casual but not too casual. Put effort in without making it look like you tried too hard. 

Opting for a pair of leggings and a cropped band tee, you brush through your hair and moisturize, applying the tiniest amount of makeup and a spritz of perfume. You quickly make your bed and clean up your dirty laundry just in time to hear the soft knock on the front door. 

Your brow furrows, wondering why he didn’t just come in, until you remember he no longer has your key. You take a deep breath and twist the door knob, knowing that historically, sweaty post run Jake causes your heart rate to spike and your want for him to sky rocket, and of course today is no exception. 

Standing there in the shorts you bought him for his birthday and his running shoes, he is dripping with sweat and still working to catch his breath. Bloo sprints through the door as he detaches his leash from his collar, and a smile spreads across his face. “Thought I ran his energy out. Apparently not.”

You laugh as you hear the water sloshing from his bowl onto the floor. “It’s endless these days. All built up I guess.” 

“I’ll get him back to normal in no time.” he says, the words falling out before he could stop them. 

You send him a nervous smirk as you lean on the door frame, trying your hardest not to stare at his dripping wet, tanned torso. You swallow nervously and let the words leave your lips. “Did you… Want to come in?”

“Oh, I should uh– I need to shower.” he says, brushing away the strand of hair stuck to his neck. 

“Yeah of course, yeah– I won’t keep you, I just thought–”

“Well, I– I do have a change of clothes in the car.” he says, letting his eyes meet yours. 

“Do you…Want to shower here?” you ask. 

“I was kind of hoping you’d ask…”

You suddenly felt very thankful that you cleaned up your house the little bit that you did. You opened the door a little bit wider and saw his lips turn up. “Let me grab my clothes.”

A few seconds later he was walking through your door, depositing his shoes the same way he’d done it a million times before. Something about his presence in your home made it feel complete. He made his way towards your bathroom, but not before stopping and turning around to make sure you were following. When he saw you still perched on the arm of the couch his brows raised. “You coming?”

“Oh, I just took a shower actually.” you answered nervously. 

“Okay, so come talk to me. I missed you.” he all but begs, stepping through the door and into your bathroom. 

You stall for a minute or two, knowing that if you see him getting undressed there would be no stopping whatever sinister thought running through your mind from turning into a reality. You walk slowly towards the bathroom, hearing the water splash around as he showers, slipping through the door and jumping up to sit on the counter. 

His face peeks out from behind the shower curtain with a smile as you swing your legs. “How was…Europe? Europe, right?”

“Yeah, Europe…It was good, I love being over there. Feel most like myself over there for some reason.” he says, and you can’t help but stare at the shadows of his body moving from behind the curtain. 

“I saw a few pictures on socials, seemed like you guys had a good time.” you say, dancing around the fact that the two of  you hardly spoke the entirety of his time away. 

“We did, we did…” he pauses, and you can tell he wants to say something else. “Y/N…” he groans, turning off the water. 

“Yes…”

His hand reaches out to grab for a towel, and you hear him toweling off his body before wrapping it around his waist. He steps out of the shower and as you sit there looking at him it feels like deja vu. 

“Let me change and then… I want to talk to you.” he says, an air of sadness in his voice. You feel your heart drop and you wonder if he is going to break things off officially now that he’s had time to think about everything. 

You nod and jump off the counter, walking out the door and back to your couch, trying to prepare yourself for whatever talk he wants to have. Bloo is completely passed out on the living room floor, that is, until he hears Jake in the bedroom and perks his head up. 

A minute later Jake is walking down your hallway, wet hair and barefoot in a pair of joggers and a t-shirt, you're positive you’ve never wanted him more than you do at this moment. He makes his way over to the couch, sitting down next to you and relaxing his head back onto the cushions with a sigh. You watch his body physically relax and you wonder why he is so comfortable, and not at all feeling the same nerves you are. 

Your eyes are glossy with anxious tears as you wait for him to speak. He lifts his head and his eyes meet yours, suddenly worried and panic stricken as he takes in your state. “Baby? What?” he asks, sitting up and moving closer to you. “Did I do something?”

“Well, no… Not really. Not yet?” you say, your voice shaky. “I think I just already know what you’re gonna say, and I don’t think I’m prepared for it yet.”

He huffs a small laugh and shakes his head. “You think you know what I’m going to say, huh?”

“Well usually when someone says, ‘I want to talk’ that can only mean one thing.” 

“You just don’t even know how wrong you are, do you?” he smiles, grabbing your hand. 

“You know, yesterday… We got back around 11 I think. The entire plane ride I thought about what I was going to say to you. I thought about it for hours, planned it all out, scrapped it and did it again. Stepped off the plane, and wanted to come straight here and give you my I’m sorry speech, but for some reason I couldn’t do it. I was… terrified you would turn me away, or have someone else here or something. So I went home, which I think in hindsight was probably a good choice, I hadn’t had a full night's sleep in over twenty-four hours, and there was no telling what I would have said.” he laughs, squeezing your hand. 

“I told myself, just get over your jet lag, get yourself together, then go see her. So I did, I slept for twelve hours straight I think, and I woke up and it was like two in the morning and all I could think about was you, and about Bloo. I realized it was Sunday and I knew exactly what I needed to do. So I sat and waited until normal time and I got ready. I showed up here, half way thinking you were going to tell me to get lost, but hoping that you’d say yes and let me take Bloo on a run.” he stopped, snapping his fingers and calling Bloo to his side. “Now, you probably don’t know this, but Bloo and I have some really serious talks when we go on our runs. You know, man stuff. But today… Today we talked about you. How funny you are, and how smart and pretty…And we both kind of came to the agreement that… We can’t live without you.”

Shock rushes through your body. What?

“Y/N… I did a lot of thinking while I was gone. I swear searched every part of my brain looking for any reason that I shouldn’t forgive you. Just one good reason, but I kept coming up empty. And I realized it’s because I love you. I have always loved you, since we were kids.” he pauses, running his fingers over his freshly grown back mustache. 

“That night at the beach house… I– I felt like I laid it all out for you, and when you didn’t say it back I just… I don’t know…I shut down. I thought that you didn’t want that, and then I didn’t hear from you…I was…embarrassed. So I just cut everything off completely. I thought that if I just distanced myself from you the feelings might go away, but they never did. I can’t even tell you how hard it was to stop myself from replying to your messages, or– or answering your calls… Every single day my resolve got weaker. I think it was that night on facetime when I realized that as much as I was trying to force you out of my heart, you were just always meant to be there.”

You feel your heart swelling in your chest as you watch him talk. 

“I don’t want to have a life without you in it. Calling you and seeing your face, and seeing Bloo I just… I realized that I want that, all the time. I want to call you after the shows and see you and tell you about everything…So as I went to bed that night, I thought about everything, and I realized that there is nothing you could possibly do that I wouldn’t forgive you for.”

“I hate that I let myself wallow for so long. I hate that I left you on read so many nights, and I hate that I didn’t get to share my days with you, because at the end of each one, all I wanted was to tell you about it. I don’t expect you to forget about me ghosting you but I want you to know that I’m sorry, and I hope that maybe you can forgive me.” he pauses, grabbing your other hand. 

“Now, I know me saying all this is probably a shock, with everything considered. It is for me too, because this is definitely not what I planned out on that plane ride, but I think that’s kind of the beauty of it. Because I never planned to meet someone like you, either. To have someone come into my life and shake it up, and have me completely head over heels in love. And it’s been the best thing that ever happened to me. The both of you.”

“Jake, I–”

“What I’m saying is that, I want you. I want to be with you. I want to have all of it with you and with Bloo. I’m ready. I want you to be in my life, and I want to share everything with you, day and night, and just…I don’t know, I just I love you Y/N. I love you and I want you to be mine. Really, truly, completely, mine.”

A tear falls from your eye and his eyes search yours for any indication of answer. 

“Jake… I already am.” you breathe, launching yourself into his lap and crashing your lips to his. His hands cup your face, wiping away the tears that are falling as his lips try to kiss yours through his smile. 

“I was hoping you’d say that, too.”

You pull away from his lips, desperate to feel them on yours again, but also needing to say your piece. 

“I’m sorry Jake. I am so sorry I ever hurt you. I can’t even tell you how gutted I’ve been the last few weeks without you. I have missed you so bad…Every single thought on my mind has been of you and if you were thinking about me too. When you told me you loved me that night at the beach… I wanted to say it back. So badly I wanted to say it back, but I was afraid. I knew you’d been drinking, I just…I wanted you to mean it and I was scared that maybe it was just the heat of the moment or something, I don’t know. I was stupid, and–”

“No.” he interrupted. “You’re not stupid. I understand why you didn’t say it back, I think I was just too prideful to understand it then. I wanted you to love me back so badly I couldn’t see anything else, so when I thought you didn’t feel the same, I put everything on pause. Which really sucked, just so you know.” he laughs. 

“I do love you back.” you admitted, the words flowing out of your mouth so easily, because it was true. You were insanely in love with this man. 

“You do...” 

“Yes. I do. Like, a lot.”  you confirm.

His cheeks turn pink and you see his perfect toothy smile before he presses his lips to yours again, holding you as if you’re the most precious thing he’s ever touched. “So you’ll be mine, then…”

“Yes. Completely.” you breathe, crashing your lips back to his. His arms wrap around your legs, lifting you as he stands from the couch. He carries you down the hallway and into your bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him and shutting Bloo out of the room. 

You laugh as he tosses you onto the bed, pulling his shirt over his head before crawling over top of you. He hovers over you with his weight on his hands as he looks down at you. “Say it again.”

His eyes are sparkling with want as they flick down to your lips, waiting for the words to fall from your mouth. 

“I love you, Jake.”

A smile spreads across his face before his lips meet yours, his hands working to free you from your leggings. He tosses them across the room before pulling off his joggers. His hand moves between the two of you, swiping his fingers through your center and swirling a quick circle over your clit. You feel him smile against your lips again. 

“How longs’ it been, baby?” he asks, letting his warm fingers slide between your soaked folds. 

“Since last time… Since the beach house…” you breathe, your chest starting to heave. 

“No, no…Since you came... How long since you touched yourself?” he asked, his eyes a little darker now. 

“Um…Uh, like a week, maybe?” you answer, suddenly feeling bashful. 

“I hope you’ll remember it fondly, because now…” he pauses, shaking his head. “Now, you’ll never have to. You’ll never want to. Gonna take care of you how I’ve wanted to all along.”

His lips press to your throat, a hot, wet kiss that trails down to your collarbone. His hands swipe your shirt over your head as his lips continue to trail downward. 

“I want you.” you urge, wrapping your hand around his fully hardened length. 

“Easy, baby…” he says, pulsing in your hand. “Wanna go slow, it’s been a minute...”

“Don’t care… I can’t wait anymore.” you beg, as he chuckles against your skin.

“So you did miss me?”

“Is it not obvious?” you quip, sliding your hand around his bare back. 

“Just wanna hear you say it.”

“You’re being awfully demanding…” you whisper against his hand gripped into your cheek.

“I know what my girl likes.” he says, letting his eyes flick up to yours. He’s got you there, and he knows it. “Thought of it every second I was gone.”

“I missed you…Now do something about it.” you answer playfully, knowing he never turns down a challenge. 

With a devious smile he plunges his middle and ring finger inside of you, letting his palm rest over your clit as his fingers stroke you into a panting mess. 

“S’wrong baby, suddenly don’t have anything to say?” he growls, pressing a kiss to your jaw. 

He flicks his fingers inside of you, causing a moan to rip from your chest. A low hum leaves his lips and you watch his eyes flutter shut. As they reopen it’s as if a switch has flipped, he pulls his fingers from you and grabs his cock, positioning it at your entrance as you lay desperately before him. 

You let your hands rest on his biceps as he presses his tip into you. You’re tense as you wait for him and he notices. 

“S’just me...” he breathes, letting his thumb swipe across your hip.

You nod and he presses forward, entering you painstakingly slowly, and six weeks without him is really showing itself as you feel the tightness in your stomach. 

“Just breathe through it, baby. You can take it.” he pauses, locking eyes with you. His tongue slides along his bottom lip as you envelop him, and he lets his eyes wander down to where you meet. “Only a little more. You’re taking it so good baby. Always do.”

You smile a little, feeling him inside you again. Your hands slide up and over his shoulders, cupping his cheeks and pulling his lips down to yours. His mouth on yours lets your body relax enough to let him slip further inside, both of you gasping at the feeling. 

“Baby…” his tone is softer, and you can tell he’s missed this as much as you have. 

“I missed you.” you whisper, letting your lips brush against his. 

“I missed you too, baby. Missed you every night.”

“Don't disappear on me again...” you beg, his hips slowly starting to roll into you. 

“I swear I’m not goin’ anywhere baby. Never again.” he says, his hands wrapping around your waist to pull you tightly against his body. He rolls the both of you to lay on your sides, fucking into you from behind as his arm crosses firmly over your chest. 

You let your hand come up behind you and lace into his shorter, softer hair, his breath hot on your neck as he  holds you in place. 

“You’re so tight baby, fuck me…It’s–It’s like the first time I swear to god.”

“You feel so good, Jake…Keep going….” you whine, arching your back into him. 

“Oh fuck, I– Baby, I’m close… I missed you so bad, and you feel so good, I–” he stammers, clearly not wanting this to end so quickly. 

“Keep going Jake, I’m almost there…” you beg, feeling his hand slide down your body. He swirls his fingers over your clit in an effort to get you there, but that’s not what did it for you. It was his words. 

“I love you, Y/N. Gonna keep loving you just like this, as long as you’ll let me. Every fuckin’ day.” he pants, his hips stuttering as he tries to fight off his orgasm. 

“Fuck, Jake…I love you, too… I love you so much…I’m gonna cum… Please, please…” you whine, feeling your release crash over you with one more pointed flick of his fingers. You arch into his touch as you cum, yelling his name into your empty room as he tightens his hold on you. 

His hips thrust into you harder with each pulse of his own release, his tired voice stifled as his mouth rests on your neck. “Baby…” he breathes, his hips finally slowing to a stop. You feel full, and satiated as his lies within you. Your body is relaxed and comfortable and you’re more than happy to stay in this spot with him for the rest of the day. Much to your chagrin he pulls out of you after a few minutes and you roll to face him. 

His face is flushed pink, similar to how it looks after a run, and you smile. 

“What?” he asks, finally returning to his normal breathing pattern. 

“Nothing…” you giggle. 

“Tell me.” he says, sliding his fingers over your hip.

“Just can’t believe I spent the last however many months thinking we were over.” you admit. 

“Baby, it was never over between us. Not even for a second.” he says, kissing your forehead. 

“Can’t believe I ever thought I could stop myself from loving you.” you hum, nuzzling into his chest. 

“I always knew.” 

“I really love you, Jake.” you say through a content sigh.

“Fuck, please never stop saying that. I fucking love you too, baby.” he says, “Now, wheres Bloo... I have to tell him the good news.”

“What, that Mom and Dad are back together?” you laugh. 

A satisfied hum leaves his smiling lips, as he realizes what you’ve said. “Yeah…That Mom and Dad are back together.”

About a week after Jake gets back, you started to really get serious about finding a job in Nashville. You originally weren’t sure about whether or not you wanted to stay because of how things were going between the two of you, but after making amends, you knew there was no possible way you could leave. 

It was a weekday afternoon when you got the call that you had been offered a job at an ad agency. Bloo and Jake were out in his backyard, Bloo running up and down the steps over and over as Jake tossed Bloo’s ball over the edge of the deck from his chair. He saw you on the phone through the glass, waving your free hand around in excitement as you accepted the offer. He snuck inside to catch the tail end of the conversation, knowing what the call was.

“So, you’re staying?” He asked with a smirk. 

Things finally settled down for the two of you after that. Now, as you drive home from work, you call Jake, smiling as you hear him over the bluetooth.

“Hey baby. How’s traffic?” He asks, and you exhale a little laugh through your nose.

“Not great. I’m almost home but that damn light got me again.” You say, knowing he knows exactly what light you’re talking about.

“I’m convinced you’re making it all up. I’ve never caught that light even once, all the times I’ve driven to your place and back.” He says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Don’t gaslight me. I hope you hit it on your way to pick me up.” You say, some playful attitude in your voice.

“Wishing ill on me?! Baby. You wound me.” He says with some faux drama. You can’t help but laugh. “I’ll be there in ten so you can apologize.” 

“Maybe twelve if you hit the light.” You quip, and he can’t help but chuckle as you two end the call. 

You get home and quickly change, picking a pair of jeans and cropped button down blouse. You leave your necklace on, the sailboat Jake gifted you, and slip on your birkenstocks. You pop out the door and as expected, Jake is waiting for you in the driveway. You jog over and hop in the car, looking at him with a smile.

“Did you get stuck at that godforsaken stoplight?” You ask, raising your brows.

“Nope.” He says, popping the P of the word as he shakes his head with a grin. You groan as he backs out of the driveway, heading to your destination, which is Josh and Hayden’s housewarming party. They recently decided to take the leap and move in together. Part of you is curious if this is Hayden’s way of keeping an eye on him, or if he’s actually changed and is trying to be serious about her.

When you arrive, Jake carries in some bottle of wine he probably pulled off a dusty shelf for the gesture. You lace the fingers of your right hand with his, your left holding to his forearm gently. It’s clear you’re a little wary about a party full of not only Josh’s friends, but Hayden’s too. Jake gives your hand a squeeze and leads you in.

Josh’s home, now their home, is more beautiful than ever. There are more than a few changes you notice right off the bat, but you keep all of that commentary to yourself. You follow Jake as he walks to the back deck to grab himself a drink, but decline one for yourself. You’re feeling a little nervous and want to keep your wits about you. 

You look out into the expanse of the backyard to see Josh and Hayden mingling in two separate crowds, welcoming guests and thanking them for coming. Jake pulls you along, knowing you’re not thrilled about it.

“C’mon, you. We have to go say hi.” He encourages. You’ve felt so good about the way things have been going with Jake, and to be honest, you’re terrified of how things may change as Josh starts to make more appearances in your life together. You keep reminding yourself that despite everything, he’s Jake’s brother, he’s not going anywhere, and the only way to make things work with Jake is to move on from any lingering weirdness. 

As you approach Josh, he smiles brightly at the two of you. Hugs are quickly exchanged and before Jake can say a word, someone who hasn’t seen him in what seems like a while pulls him away to talk about the band or guitars or something out of your depth.

“Thanks for coming, Y/N.” Josh says, and you raise your eyebrows, giving him a friendly smile. You can’t remember the last time he called you by your name. 

“Of course, we wouldn’t miss it.” You say genuinely with a smile. “We’re really thrilled for you guys.” 

He thanks you and sips his beer bottle, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“It’s… It’s nice to see you two happy and taking this big step after… everything.” You say softly, just for him. He seems to know exactly what you mean and he smiles and nods. There’s a little pause before he speaks.

“Jake seems… He seems really happy. He seems like the best version of himself I’ve seen in a long time. I think he owes that to you.” Josh says, and you’re touched at the thought. Their relationship, despite how they may fight endlessly, is something you may never understand but will always appreciate. Silence hangs over the two of you again when you’re not quite sure what to say to that. Like she could sense the moment was right, Hayden slides into the conversation with a friendly smile, which you don’t think you’ve really ever seen from her before. 

“I was just saying your home is beautiful, Hayden. You really have a great eye for design.” You say to her, hoping she accepts your olive branch disguised as a carefully worded compliment.

“Thank you, Y/N!” She says with enthusiasm, like she’s genuinely moved by your comment. She wraps an arm around Josh’s waist and leans her head on his shoulder, and as you look at the two of them, you’re relieved to feel nothing but happiness. Not jealousy, not insecurity, not a trace of a harbored feeling. 

As you drive home with Jake that night, you tell him exactly that. 

“It was just nice to see them together and… happy. It made me happy. And I think… I think that’s just really great, you know?” You say, and Jake nods, reaching over to put a hand on your thigh. 

“It’s crazy that they’re living together now…” he starts, tilting his head in your direction as he drives, keeping his eyes on the road. 

“Yeah. I mean, imagine if we lived together…” You say, tacking on a nervous laugh at the end. You’d be lying if it wasn’t something you had thought about plenty of times. 

Jake just hums in acknowledgement, like he’s thinking. There’s a little silence before he starts up the conversation again. 

“That would be interesting, for sure.” 

“Bloo would be thrilled…” You joke, like you’re adding it to a list of pros and cons.

“He would. I mean, maybe you should. For his sake.” He says, and you turn to look at him. 

“For Bloo?” You ask, laughing softly. 

“And for the shorter commute. Save you like, five minutes.” He says, a lilt in his voice like he may be on to something.

“Oh my god, I wouldn’t get caught at that light anymore!” You exclaim, giggling now. He gasps like you’ve just discovered a solution to world hunger. 

“Yes. Yes. You’re so right. And there would be so much more space for you and Bloo and all your… stuff…” He says, like he’s grasping for straws. “We could even get another dog. Get him a friend!”

“Okay, but the new dog is not sleeping in the bed.” You say, smiling brightly as he puts his car in park.

“She, and we’ll see.” he smiles to himself, as his wheels keep spinning.

“I’d only have to mow one lawn...” He says, like he’s coming up with a list of reasons why you should move in, as if you needed anything more than just knowing you’d wake up next to him every morning. 

“Shovel one driveway…” You add.

“My plants wouldn’t die while I’m on tour…” He says, the excitement in his voice growing.

“Okay, okay!” You laugh, looking over at him, his face illuminated by the dashboard light. He’s got a toothy grin on his face as he chuckles with you. “You’ve got yourself a deal.” 

He pulls you in for a tender kiss by both cheeks, smiling against your lips. When he pulls away, his honey brown eyes are bright with excitement and you wonder how you ever considered a life without him.

“Let’s go tell Bloo.” 

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[gretavangroupie]

Kismet (Chapter 8 - Part 1)

Pairing: Josh x Reader, Jake x Reader

Word Count: 16.7k

Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol Consumption, Fluff. Angst: Verbal Sparring, Light Degradation, Light Verbal Abuse, Arguing, Jealousy, Guilt, Heartbreak, Manipulation Themes. Smut: Kissing, Male Masturbation, Female Masturbation, Cum Play, Spitting, Fingering F!Receiving, Unprotected Penetrative Sex, Rough Sex.

A/N: Two parts for this last chapter, so be on the lookout for part two soon!

This series is a special collaboration with my best buddy @sacredstarcatcher. If you haven't checked out her previous work Cruel Summer, be sure to add it to your reading list. If you would like to be added to the taglist for this series, please follow this link!

JAKE POV

“Fair is fair, my brother.” 

You take in the sight before you. Josh’s shit eating grin, your shirt on his back, Bloo sitting loyally at his feet. Y/N stands off to the side, wringing her hands. 

“You look guilty as fuck right now.” You say to her, shaking your head.

“Jake, I swear I can explain.” She pleads, her eyes already glassy.

“Explain? I don’t need to hear it, Y/N. I already know, and I knew it weeks ago. You let me grovel and apologize to you for accusing you and… Christ…” You trail off, not wanting to raise your voice. “You know he’s been fucking you and Hayden at the same time, right?” You snap. The reaction you get isn’t the one you’re expecting.

“I know.” She says it in a quiet voice full of shame. 

What the fuck?

“At least I told her.” Josh boasts, and you could lunge at him then and there.

“Watch yourself.” You warn, trying to shut him up. This doesn’t need to get any messier than it already is.

“No, no, we’re all adults here.” Josh says, walking up to stand at the back of the couch. “Let’s put it all out on the table. Go ahead and tell her why fair is fair, Jake.”

“That doesn’t justify… this.” You say, and you can feel your cheeks get hot. You’re going to have to come clean sooner or later. Josh knows it too, so when he turns to speak to Y/N, you steel yourself.

“Jake was having an affair with Hayden for 6 of the 9 months we were together.” Josh states simply, smirking as you both watch the realization hit her. Confusion paints her features. 

“So you pursued Y/N just to get revenge?” You bite back, trying to do damage control. It’s next to useless at this point as you see her entire perception of you change. 

“Hold on. Hold on. You?” She asks, pointing at you, her brow furrowed.

“It was a mistake. It was stupid, Y/N, and I regretted it the moment she left. I only called her because it was after I saw the note on the mirror…” You try to explain, but then you remember why this is all happening in the first place. You see she’s already started to cry, her tears dragging faint black lines of mascara down her cheeks. 

“Don’t cry, Cherry. What happened to, ‘he’s not anything?’ Isn’t that what you said on our birthday?” Josh says, pretending to comfort her, but really just twisting the knife. You feel heat radiating off of your body. On our birthday?

“You told me you weren’t ready to talk things through, but you just wanted to leave so you could fuck my brother?” You shout, having lost any sense of control. “You lied to my face on my birthday? And about the snowstorm? And let me guess, any time you bailed on me for ‘school’ it was really so you could go behind my back and help him get his sick revenge?” 

“I didn’t know it was for revenge!” She cries, like that’s any defense. “I didn’t know about any of this!”

“That doesn’t make it any better!” You shout, startling a bark out of Bloo. You feel an immediate pang of guilt, burning as Josh puts a settling hand on his head. 

“I’m out of here,” you mumble, turning on your heel and heading for the door.

“You can’t just… just throw this all away!” She pleads, desperate as she sees you trying to leave. She’s full on crying now, her tears running down her face and neck as you stand in the entryway, fuming. You steel yourself, avoiding her sad eyes.

“You said I was yours, Jake, I-”

Josh interrupts her before she can finish.

“He told Hayden the same thing, and funny enough, when she dumped me to be with him, he came clean and told her it was all a lie. That’s a very interesting coincidence.” He says sarcastically. 

Your heart drops as you cut your eyes to her, wincing as she seems to put the pieces together. You want to lie. You want to tell her it isn’t true. Before you can try and contradict Josh, he just keeps on talking. 

“I’m not sure they ever stopped, now that I think about it…” He muses, his tone smug as he watches everything crumble. “She was at his house two weeks ago.” 

You watch her, the way her brow furrows, the way her heart breaks. His stupid smile makes your blood boil. 

“Don’t act all high and mighty, Josh. I know you didn’t tell her about how you fucked your way through all 20 cities.” You sneer, pointing at him aggressively. She looks between the two of you, seemingly trying to follow along. 

“Every fuckin’ night we spent in a hotel, I watched you march a blonde pair of tits back to your room. Every night we’ve been home, I know you’ve been with Hayden.” You say, letting your arm fall to your side, exasperated. 

“That’s not true.” Josh lets out through gritted teeth, but you can see the gears turning in her head. 

“You have to know he doesn’t care about you, Y/N. He’s using you for revenge. He’s using you to keep his cock warm when Hayden won’t answer his calls.” You plead, trying to get her to believe you. 

“Oh, when she won’t answer my calls? You mean when she’s with YOU?” Josh shouts, finally snapping and taking a few quick steps around the couch towards you. He’s angry now, and you feel the energy in the room shift. 

You know he’s all talk and you’re not afraid of him. You pay Josh no mind and keep your eyes on Y/N. You need to get her to believe you. You can hear Josh breathing, clearly worked up now. She’s getting nervous as her eyes flicker between the two of you

“Watch it, Josh.” You say, almost dismissive of him. He raises his voice again, snapping back at you. 

“YOU watch it. I’m not gonna sit here and let you—“

“You both have to go. Now.” She interrupts, her voice as stern as you’ve ever heard it, but it’s through tears.

You look at her, your eyes full of hurt. She doesn’t believe you. It quickly turns to anger as you realize that between the two of you, everything is fucked. There’s no coming back from this.  

“You know what? Fine.” You say, fishing your keys out of your pocket. “Give me back my spare key. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t fuckin’ think about me.” You say, fighting with the keyring in your hands. 

As Josh storms through the house to collect his things, she steps past you to get her keys from the entryway table. She quickly unclips your key from her lanyard and clutches it in her fist, watching you struggle to remove hers from your own.

You feel her eyes on you as you stick your fingernail under the metal and twist until the key is free. When your eyes flick back up at her, there’s a look of realization across her face. She’s staring at the worn, stringy friendship bracelet tied to the leather strap that houses your keys. 

AUGUST 2011

“Here. Pick like... four or five.” She says, handing you a clear plastic box with nearly 100 little spools of embroidery floss in it. She pulls her leg up onto the beach chair and goes to tie the bracelet in her hands around her ankle. 

“Can’t I just have that one?” You ask, doing your best to sound uninterested. You don’t want to pick your own colors. You want the ones she picked for herself. Her favorites. Your eyes move from the bracelet on her ankle, up her leg, over the sunkissed, sandy skin. Your eyes quickly dart from her bikini top back down to your guitar, plucking the strings as you repeat the riff you’ve been working on another time through. 

“This one?” She asks, scrunching her nose up as she looks at you, the sun a little too bright in her eyes. “Hmmm. Okay,” she says, slipping off the beach chair and onto her knees. She waddles over to you in the sand, holding it out as she waits for you to offer her your wrist. Deciding between the two, you choose your left, so it won’t get caught in the strings of your guitar. 

You look down at her under the shade of your bucket hat, trying to keep your eyes on her face. You hold out your arm and she gingerly ties it around your wrist, knotting once, then looking up at you. 

“Is that tight enough?” She asks, and you feel your mouth go dry. 

“Uh huh,” you respond, your voice cracking a little. This girl is going to be the death of you. 

“You have to wear it forever.” She says, grinning behind her sunglasses. “I’m gonna check next year. And the year after that. And the year after that.”

“Alright, alright.” You groan, watching her nimble fingers tie the second knot. When she’s done, she sits back on her heels in front of you, looking at your guitar.  

“Play it.” She says, nodding once in your direction. You know what she wants. The day before, you had absentmindedly been playing the opening riff of a song off of the new Black Keys album when she interjected, shouting over at you with a mouth full of sandwich, telling you it was her favorite track. You were more than impressed that she knew it at all. 

So here you are, sitting in and listening to the waves crashing on the shore, looking down at her as she kneels in front of you. She puts her hands on her thighs and grins, so you’re really given no choice but to oblige.

You begin to play it, albeit softly, not wanting to bother the other people along the beach, opting to hum rather than sing. She has her eyes on your hands- moving between both of them. She’s watching you carefully and you can feel your heart in your throat. 

You stop playing, about to tell her what you’re thinking, but you’re interrupted before you can get a word out. Josh comes running up to the both of you, sand spraying from under his feet and landing on your bodies, but more importantly your guitar. You hear the flecks of sand lane on the body of it and you can’t help but wince. 

“C’mon. Come swim with me.” Josh says to her, not acknowledging you. Like clockwork, she stands up and heeds his call. 

You try to keep your eyes to yourself, avoiding laying eyes on any part of her in that microscopic bathing suit. You look at your twin instead as he holds out his hand for her, spotting a bracelet tied around his wrist. Diagonal lines of yellow, green, and purple. 

“You made him one too?” You ask her, squinting. She looks at you, then at Josh.

“This? Oh, yeah. She made mine first.” He shoots you a charming smile, answering before she has a chance to. She takes his hand and he whisks her off towards the water, the two of them bumping arms as they go. 

You stew about it for a moment before getting back to what you were doing. You give up on playing what she asked and go back to practicing the riff you were working on earlier.

You make your best effort to keep your eyes on the sand, on the water, on the pattern of the towel in front of you… but they’re consistently drawn to the two of them out in the water- laughing and splashing, Josh picking her up and tossing her into the water. You finally give up and walk back to the house, your acoustic on your back, adjusting the hat on your head so nobody sees the pink tinge to your cheeks.

The next morning, you roll out of bed and shower, knowing your mom told the both of you that the car was to be out of the driveway by 11:01 and no later. Josh, who took the bottom bunk, was awake long before you. As you get ready alone, you take a deep breath, appreciating how peaceful it is when he’s not in your space, involved in everything you’re doing. 

Heading down the stairs, you realize it’s quiet inside too. You see there’s half a grapefruit in the fridge, and you know Josh left it for you, so you grab a spoon and sprinkle some sugar on it. Over on the counter near the sugar jar, you see there’s a note written in your mom’s handwriting.

“Out to breakfast. Be ready to leave by 11.”

The 11 is underlined three times. She means business. Checking the clock, you see it’s 10:30. 

You look at the door at the end of the hall where Y/N had been sleeping and it’s wide open, the bed made. 

If both moms are at breakfast, then… Where are Y/N and Josh?

You head to the back door in a hurry, pushing the vertical blinds to the side. Out on the dock, you see the two of them sitting side by side, their feet dangling off the edge. You roll your eyes, seeing the two of them excluding you once again. Your blood boils as you watch him flirt with her, tugging her away at any opportunity, even though he shouldn’t. 

Little does Y/N know, he has a girlfriend back home who thinks he’s on an innocent family vacation. You’re sure if she knew he was taken, she would have spent a little more time with you over the last few days. But it’s not worth the fight with Josh, so you’ve chosen to stay silent. 

You finish your breakfast, not wanting to watch them ogle each other on the waterfront. By the time you pack your bags, you hear the tires in the gravel driveway signaling your moms have returned. You bring your suitcase down and look out the window once more, but you don’t see them. 

You step out the side door of the house, bringing your suitcase to the car.

“Where’s your brother?” Your mom barks from behind her sunglasses, sipping ice water in a to-go cup. “Didn’t I say 11?”

“Yeah, ma. He’s… he’s out back somewhere.” You say, leaving the trunk open because you know he’s got to load his suitcase in too.

“Go get him.” She says, turning back to talk to Y/N’s mom again. 

You sigh and trudge through the backyard, approaching the boat house. You hear quiet voices and it becomes clear they’re on the dock, on the other side. Peering through the hazy windows, you can see them. 

It’s like a hot knife to your heart as you take in the scene. He’s got a hand on her cheek and you know the words coming out of his mouth are more than likely some bullshit about how he’ll come back for her. Keeping up the lie that he doesn’t use snapchat and refuses to make a facebook to avoid the obligation of talking to her all year long. You feel your stomach churn. 

She deserves better.

He leans in, kissing her gently. You feel like you could be sick, so you turn and jog up the hill, back to the end of the driveway. You call his name, barking it out into the air, hoping to startle him. It works, and a few seconds later, he’s running towards you. 

The entire car ride is silent. You look over his shoulder and watch as he texts his girlfriend. You wonder what she’s thinking about, sitting in the passenger seat of her mom’s car, headed in the opposite direction. 

PRESENT DAY

“You… You kept it?” She asks, her voice broken. You snatch your key from her hand and put the one to her house on the table of the entryway.

“Of course I did.” You answer, your tone cold. 

When will she realize how different we really are?

Josh approaches, dressed in his day clothes, still slightly damp. You open the door for him, ushering him out with a dramatic arm. You follow, slamming it behind you, not wanting to hear another word from her. 

Josh trudges towards his truck, and you try to resist getting the last word, but it’s in your nature. You can’t help it.

“You know, you’re a real prick. I told you I liked her. All that shit we talked about over break? Back at home? You didn’t think even once that maybe you shouldn’t fuck this up for me?”

“You fucked it up for yourself, Jake!” He says, exasperated, a smile of disbelief on his face. “And don’t even try to take the moral high ground like you didn’t destroy my relationship with Hayden the same exact way.” 

“You were never serious about her, Josh!” 

“Says who?” He says, turning to look at you. He looks deep into your eyes, and you see a flicker of pain. 

“You didn’t like her, you complained about her constantly, I didn’t–”

“I complain about you too, don’t I?” Josh says with a knowing lilt to his voice, and it stops you in your tracks. 

He loved her. 

“I didn’t know.” 

“I’m not having this conversation. What’s done is done.” He says, shying away from the vulnerability he just started to show. 

Josh shuts the door of his truck, starting it and flicking the headlights on. He’s gone in seconds and you’re stuck standing in the rain, wondering if he’s right. Wondering if you’re the one who fucked things up for yourself, and if it’s time to stop blaming him. 

HER POV

Sunday morning, you wake up to the sound of whining at the front door. It’s earlier than you would usually wake up to let Bloo out, so you struggle to pull yourself out of bed. Heading for the sliding door, you open it to allow him a bathroom break. Your stubborn weimaraner remains at the front door, though. He cries a little more. 

“Come on, Bloo.” You say, sighing. “He’s not coming.” 

Bloo relents and mopes over to the back door, heading outside. You close it behind him and start to make yourself some coffee. You figure may as well stay awake. 

The moment you let Bloo back inside, he bolts for the door. He’s sitting on the doormat, whining and wagging his tail. You pull a mug from the cabinet, looking over at him sadly. You take a picture of him waiting at the door and send it to Jake with a message attached. You figure it couldn’t hurt. Is it a little manipulative? Maybe. But you miss him and if you have to use your dog to get him back into your life, you’re not above it.

By the time you finish your coffee, Bloo is still insisting you open the door. On your way to put your mug in the sink, you open the door, intending to let him look through the glass storm door, hoping to convince him Jake isn’t there. You unlock and open the door, swinging it open. 

“See? He’s not–”

You’re rendered speechless. When you look down at the ground outside the door, there’s a cardboard box sitting on your welcome mat. On one flap, there’s Sharpie-d handwriting you recognize is Jake’s, and it just says “books.” 

You open the storm door and lift the box, bringing it inside. When you open the top of the box, inside is everything Jake bought for Bloo. His food and water bowls, his spare leash, his treats, his bed, his toys. You can’t stop the immediate flood of tears that comes, a sob wracking your body. 

It’s really over, isn’t it? 

You flop to the floor, Bloo stepping into your lap and circling, sitting as best he can despite the fact that he doesn’t fit. You hug him close, crying as you rest your head on his back. 

You would be lying to yourself if you said you don’t know how you got here. There’s no excuse for what you did, but the truth is that part of your heart was convinced that Josh would come around. It was foolish and naive of you, but hindsight is 20/20. 

Regret plagues you every second of every day. You wish you would have told Jake you wanted him and only him. The part of you that wasn’t hopelessly waiting for Josh was scared of committing to Jake, and it has left you here, alone, far away from home, feeling like you’ve wasted your entire time at Vanderbilt. Sure, you passed and you’ll get your degree. But you squandered every spare second of your experience here making stupid decisions. You’re not leaving with a single new friend, any untainted memories, any positive life experience. You feel like a failure.

There has to be some way to fix this.

You reach over and pull your phone out of your backpack, pulling up your contacts. There in your contacts, second only to your mom, is Jake’s name. You press it without a second thought, needing to talk to him, needing to at least try. 

It goes straight to voicemail. 

JAKE POV

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket as you stood in line waiting for your coffee. You knew it was probably her. Or maybe you hoped it was? No. No you don’t. Do you?

You knew she probably saw the box of stuff on her porch. You didn’t bother looking at your phone to confirm, knowing whatever she had to say would still be too much for you to handle. You could hardly pull yourself away from her house this morning as you dropped it off, but you had to get that stuff out of your house, it hurt too much to see it.

So now, you stood here waiting for your coffee instead of picking up Bloo for your run. You’d gone silent since the minute you walked out that door. You’d turned your phone onto airplane mode for the past few days and hardly left your house. No calls in, no calls out. Not a single text coming through. You knew they were there, though. You knew they were waiting for you when you turned it on. So today, you did. This morning you rolled over in bed and grabbed your phone, tapping the little airplane and feeling the buzz in your hand as the calls and messages poured in. 

You didn’t have the nerve to read hers just yet, but the messages from Josh were exactly as you expected. He made no effort to see you or apologize. Just carrying on with normal conversation as if he hadn’t completely betrayed you. He wasn’t sorry. Not at all. He was taking this as a victory.

Your curiosity got the best of you and pulled your phone from your pocket, seeing her name on the screen and causing your heart to jump into your throat. Why does it hurt so fucking bad?

“Order for Jake!” the barista called from behind the counter. 

You quickly shoved it back into your jacket pocket, swallowing harshly as your fingertips grazed the treats you kept there for Bloo. You stepped up to the counter and grabbed the coffee, making your way towards the front door. Spotting a trash can you reach into your pocket and collect the treats, tossing them in the garbage as you exit the door. 

As you sit in the car sipping your coffee you pull your phone out again, letting your thumb hesitantly swipe over her message.You didn’t dare let your eyes read the messages before it. You couldn’t. Not yet. 

Y/N

9:07am: He still wants to go if you do. 

The image attached causes a lump to form in your throat. Bloo slumped onto the ground by the front door, waiting for you. Just like he has every Sunday. Your routine, together.

“Fuck... I’m sorry buddy.” you breathed, closing the message and tossing your phone into the passenger seat. 

You put the car in reverse, heading towards the office when your phone buzzes again. Your eyes flash over to it, wondering if it’s her again but you will yourself not to look at it until you get where you’re going. You were fine. You could do that. 

It was at the second stop sign that you found yourself reaching for it, unable to wait two more minutes. You had to know. You let out a defeated sigh when a different name appeared on the screen. Great, a group text. 

Mom

9:14am: Two weeks until vacation! Jake, don’t forget to send me your flight information. Josh, are you flying or driving?

You huffed out a sigh. You completely fucking forgot. Maybe you could still get out of it.

You

9:15am: What are the dates again? I might have something going on afterall.

Josh

9:15am: Hello mother dearest, I will be driving. Also, Jake I checked the calendar, we are free. Pack your bags!

That motherfucker. 

You pull into the parking lot at the office, throwing your car in park as you try to figure out what to say. 

Mom

9:17am: Oh perfect! I can’t wait to see you both. I miss you so much. It will be so fun to have you all together again. Just like old times. I can’t wait!

There was no getting out of this. Fuck.

You

9:19am: I’ll send it over to you shortly. See you soon!

Josh

9:20am: Yeah, it’s going to be a blast. 😎

You roll your eyes and lock your phone, shoving it into your pocket. As you make your way up to the office door you feel your phone buzz again, this time a call, not a message. You quickly pull it from your pocket, and sigh when you see hee name on the screen. Now she found the box.

HER POV

EARLY JUNE

Two weeks passed without a word between the three of you. You expected that though. Jake refused your calls and left your texts on read. Two Sundays had come and gone with no trace of him. Bloo didn’t deserve that, but you sure did. You didn’t even bother reaching out to Josh. Why should you? You had to know that it would come to this. You knew. How could you be so stupid? How could you not have seen that this was all just a game?

You pull the zipper on your suitcase, packed to the brim with bathing suits, shorts, dresses, and every pair of comfy pajamas you own. You need this vacation. You need to get away from this city. Away from these men. You know there’s no way they are making the trip now, and for that you were grateful. 

Your eyes flicked to Bloo, asleep on his bed. You planned to board him while you were away, not wanting him to suffer through the miserably long car ride to Savannah, but as the receptionist picked up you ended the call. You couldn’t leave him. These last few weeks had been just as hard on him as they had been on you. He needed you like you needed him. You smiled as he stretched out across his bed, and you couldn’t help but think that if by some chance Jake did decide to go, he might be happy to see him. 

“You ready for a little vacation?” you ask him. His eyes pop open and blink at you blankly. 

“It will be good for us I think. We can clear our heads and come back fresh.”

You toss your suitcase to the floor and crawl into bed, checking your phone for a message you knew wouldn’t be there. You set your alarm for 8:00AM and plug it in, turning off your lamp as you roll to your side. You hug your pillow tightly to your body as you close your eyes, begging sleep to take you quickly, but of course it doesn’t. Your mind flashes back to that night and the horrible look on Jake’s face. You knew you hurt him beyond repair.

You knew there was no way you could explain. There was no explanation. You lied to him. You fell right into Josh’s plan and you didn’t even notice. How could Josh do this to his own brother?

Did Jake really do the same thing to Josh? 

You hoped that this week away would help you figure things out. Help you find some clarity in this fucked up situation. But more than that, you hoped you’d find the words to tell Jake just how sorry you were, and how badly you messed up. And that somehow, someway, he could find it in his heart to forgive you. 

JAKE POV

“What do ya say Jakey, you want to do this puzzle with your dear ol’ mom?”

Your eyes flicked up to meet hers as she stood in front of you holding the puzzle box with a smile. 

“Alright.” you answer, pulling yourself up from the overstuffed couch. You were the first here, your mom plucking you from the airport bright and early this morning. You spent most of the day shopping for food and supplies for the rental, and getting everything situated. You knew Y/N was set to arrive later today, her mom practically vibrating with an excitement you didn’t quite share.

“Okay! Let’s go to the table. Oh, I’m so happy you’re here honey. I missed you so much. You know, Y/N usually does a puzzle with me every year, hopefully she won’t be mad I replaced her with you this time.” she laughs. You do your best to offer back a smile, but you know she can tell it’s forced. 

“Everything okay, Jake?” she asks, placing her hand on your arm. 

You clear your throat, “Yeah– Yes. I’m good, it's just been a long day.” you lie. 

She stares at you for a minute or two as you begin to assemble the edges of the puzzle. You let your eyes meet hers, and that was your fatal mistake. She knew you were lying. 

“You can talk to me, you know.” she pauses. “Your secrets are safe with me.”

“It’s complicated Mom. I fucked up, and I am not sure if it’s fixable this time. I really don’t want to talk about it. I am fine, though. Okay?” you ask, gently. 

“Okay, well if you ever do, just come find me, or call me or even text me. Would be nice to hear from you every now and again.” she taunts, snapping a piece into place. 

It’s quiet for a while, the puzzle coming along to reveal a picture of a sandy beach at sunset. The clock on the wall reads 8:47PM and you know it’s only a matter of time until she walks through those doors. You were glad Josh wasn’t here yet, you knew you wouldn’t be able to talk to her if he was. Wherever he was, chaos followed. At least that's how it seemed. You weren’t quite sure what you were going to say yet, but you hoped that when you saw her you’d know. You were mad, furious even, but you knew all too well how easy it was to fall victim to one of Josh’s schemes, and because of that you wonder if maybe your initial reaction to her had been too harsh. Would she forgive you? Did you want her to?

You’re snapped from your quiet thoughts by the sound of the door opening. You stiffen in your chair and hold your breath as you wait for her to enter. You mom pushes away from the table to greet whoever may be entering, and even if you wanted to you couldn’t peel your eyes away from the door. 

The door flies open as Bloo tears through the entryway of the beach house, all legs and feet. She brought him. You feel a tug at your heart as he sees you, bounding over to you with his leash still dragging behind him. He wags his nub at you excitedly and you try to pretend that you’re not completely ecstatic to see him as you pat the top of his head. Then, you see her. A sight for sore eyes in the tightest yoga pants you’d ever seen. A cropped hoodie falling from her shoulders as she drops her bags at the door. 

You swallow nervously as your eyes meet hers, flicking away instantly to look down at the puzzle. She shares hugs and greetings with your mom as her mom appears in the kitchen. You try not to listen to their conversation, or pay any mind to her at all. You don’t want her to think you care, even though you very much do. You snap a few pieces into place as your mom ushers her upstairs to her room for the week and you can’t help but wonder if she will come back down. You could feel the tension between the two of you. 

Your mom rejoins you at the table, putting her glasses back on and getting comfortable. 

“I’m so glad Y/N could make it. I love having you all here again, just need Joshy now.” she smiles, and you offer her a tight lipped smile back. 

Y/N and Bloo make their way back down to the main room, following behind her mom as they enter the kitchen. Her mom pours her a glass of red wine, left over from dinner, and Y/N accepts it, taking a large gulp from what you can see out of the corner of your eye. 

The two join you at the table, and still you try not to look at her, without causing a scene. 

“So you just finished finals, how did you do?” your mom asks, looking up at Y/N.

“Oh, um. Great actually, I passed all of them and came out with mostly A’s in every class. One B, but that’s okay.” she laughs, setting her wine glass on the table. You felt a wave of pride wash over your chest. Of course she aced her finals. 

“That’s amazing honey! What have you been up to in your free time? Come on, catch us up on life!” your mom gushes, and you wish you could just melt into the ground. You absolutely do not want to hear what she has been doing since your departure from her daily life. You’re scared to hear the answer. 

“Well, Bloo and I have just been exploring the city a little. Found a cute dog park near my place. He was really getting into a good running routine, and after a few weeks off he seemed a little depressed so I searched and found a little trail nearby. Everything is good now, we are back in the swing of things. Promised I would take him on a beach run this week, though.”

You feel your heart plummet to your stomach. She takes him now? Does he miss you?

“Oh cool, sounds like you’re really settling in there. I’m glad to hear that. Jake runs sometimes too, don’t you Jake?” your mom asks, gesturing towards you. 

You clear your throat and nod gently, “Yeah, sometimes.”

“Maybe you could show her a few places, she probably shouldn’t go alone anyways.” she urges. 

Your eyes flick over to Y/N, whose cheeks are a shade pinker than normal. She doesn’t look at you, instead focusing on Bloo’s head in her lap. 

“Yeah, maybe. We’ll see.” you reply, trying not to feed into the conversation much more. 

“Well, I think I’m off to bed. Y/N, you should try and help Jake with this puzzle, lord knows he needs it and you were always better at them than I was.”

“Oh, no. I’d hate to barge in on your puzzle!” she says, politely rejecting. 

“No, really! You two should catch up anyways.” she says, slipping down the hallway and retreating into the bedroom. Y/N’s mom hugs her neck and follows your mom’s lead, saying her goodnights and leaving the two of you alone at the kitchen table. 

You let your eyes meet hers as the bedroom door closes, and you notice the small silver sailboat dangling from her neck. You swallow heavily, and bite your lips together as a pang of hurt rushes through your chest. 

You try to focus on the puzzle, instead of the smell of her perfume drifting towards you. Or the way her hands sweep so gently over the pieces. Or the strand of hair that she keeps blowing away from her face. Your mind is racing, yet still, you don’t know what to say. The two of you work on the puzzle in silence, only the occasional glance shared between the two of you. 

She could have easily gone up to her room, and you could have easily gone to yours, but neither of you did. She wanted to stay, and so did you. Even though you hadn’t spoken, you could still feel the pull she had on you, and you wondered if there really was a chance of fixing this. 

You pause trying to find a match as you see her twisting and turning her piece. There's a crinkle between her brows and she bites her cheek as she tries to get it to fit. You take a deep breath and reach out, placing your hand on her fingers, flipping the piece as you look up at her. “Try it that way.” you breathe, a whisper of words. 

You see her throat move as she swallows nervously, flicking her eyes back down to the piece and snapping it into place. She bites her lips together as her eyes meet yours. “Thanks.” 

You nod and continue to find the next piece in the section you’re working on when you feel Bloo rest his head in your lap. His silvery gray eyes blink up at you, his tail wagging slowly as he waits for your affection. There’s nothing in the world you’d rather do than rile him up and give him all the love he’s missed out on over the past few weeks, but you know you can’t. So instead you offer him another gentle pat, not paying him much mind at all. You can feel his eyes boring into you as he waits for you to talk to him, but after a few more seconds he sighs and sulks over towards the couch. 

Your eyes flick up to Y/N’s, a hint of sadness behind them as she watches the two of you. You let out another sigh, and toss back the rest of your drink, pulling your phone from your pocket and pretending to be busy. 

Her voice is soft when she finally speaks to you, the nerves present in her tone. “Is Josh coming?”

You suck your teeth as you answer, “Yeah. But he won’t be here until late. Why am I not shocked you’re asking about him…” you grumble.

“I was just wondering, Jake, sorry for wanting to be prepared. This isn’t exactly the most comfortable situation.” she retorts, sipping her wine. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you under the impression that I want to be here?” you snap back, knowing full well that you do want to be here. 

“No, I–”

“Exactly. Let’s just get through this week.” you sigh, pushing up from your chair grabbing your empty glass and her wine glass. A look of shock paints her features and she huffs a breath of annoyance as you place the glasses in the sink. 

She stands from the table as you turn off the lights, calling Bloo to her side as she makes her way up the stairs. You are right behind her, and you follow her down the hall to your room, conveniently right across from hers. 

She opens the door and ushers Bloo inside, but he stands at your side unmoving. 

“Bloo, now.” she commands, granting her a look of acknowledgement, but still he doesn’t move. 

Her eyes meet yours, slowly filling with rage. “Let’s go Bloo. Right now.” she snaps, and surely he realizes she's serious as he tucks his tail under and trots into the room. 

She looks at you for a minute as you stand in your doorway, and you can tell there’s something she wants to say, but she doesn’t let herself, instead closing her bedroom door and shutting herself in for the night. 

As you slip into your bed you wonder what she wanted to say. Was it the same things you wanted to say?

Bloo misses you, does she? You can hear him walking around in her bedroom, his nails clicking against the tile floors and the muffled whispers of her telling him to lay down. You wonder how she’s sleeping, and if it’s as broken and unrestful as yours has been. You wonder if she’s been taking care of herself. It sounded like she had been, and she certainly looked as good as the day you left her. That day. The worst day.

As you start to drift off you hear the front door open, and the sound of voices carrying up stairs. Your curiosity is piqued when you realize the second voice is female, and even worse, you recognize it. An aggravated ‘fuck’ leaves your lips as you hear Josh and Hayden ascend the stairs, laughing and giggling as they make their way into the last open bedroom. You realize then that any hope you had of this week going smoothly had officially gone out the window, and the worst part was that Y/N didn’t even know it yet. 

HER POV

It’s the smell of coffee brewing that pulls you from your dream, your eyes fluttering open to the far too bright bedroom you were assigned for the week. You notice the absence of Bloo, and see his bed empty and you wonder who took it upon themselves to let him out this morning. You know it has to be Jake, but you don’t want to let yourself believe that he still cares. You flip the blankets off of your body and pad into the small connected bathroom, starting the shower as you wet your toothbrush. 

You can hear the echo of voices downstairs as you slip into the shower, and wonder if you’re the last one up. You knew today was going to be spent out at the beach, so you didn’t take too much time in the shower, just rinsing away your long car ride last night. You flick the shower handle and wrap yourself in a towel, making your way to your suitcase to dig out a bikini and a coverup for the day. You grab the first one you see, a classic black triangle top and the matching bottoms, something a little more cheeky than you’d like, but you didn’t plan on being around the guys long enough for them to really get a good look.

You pulled the gauzy gray dress over the bikini, and braided your wet hair tying it off with an elastic. You took a deep breath as you opened the bedroom door, hearing the voices more clearly. You made your way down the stairs and as you rounded the corner into the kitchen you were stopped dead in your tracks. 

Hayden?

At the breakfast bar sat Josh and Hayden, sharing a plate of eggs and fruit as they talked with one another. Josh’s eyes met yours in a look you couldn’t decipher, but it was short lived as he turned his attention back to her. You swallowed nervously as you kept moving towards the coffee pot, your mind positively swimming with thoughts. 

You grabbed a mug from the cabinet, and poured yourself a steaming hot cup, doing your very best to seem unaffected by the unexpected guest. You turned around as Bloo ran his cold nose up the back of your leg. 

“There you are! I was wondering where you went.” you cooed, scratching his snout. 

You followed him towards the kitchen table, where Jake sat nursing his own mug of coffee with a smug grin playing on his lips. You let your eyes flick over to Hayden, positively fawning over Josh as she offered him a strawberry between her perfectly manicured fingers. You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your coffee, feeling more anxious than you should on your ‘relaxing’ vacation.

You turn to look at Jake who is focusing on his phone, and just as you start to open your mouth Karen pops into the kitchen.

“Oh you’re up!” she smiles, making eye contact with you, turning the corner to see Josh and Hayden. 

“Oh my baby! And Hayden, oh my gosh! I can’t believe it! Oh I am so happy to see you!” she gushes, wrapping her arms around Josh’s neck. 

“I’m so glad to be here, there was no way I was going to miss out on this trip.” she says, tossing a smirk over her shoulder towards Jake. You hear him scoff under his breath as he turns his attention back to his phone. 

“Y/N, have you met Hayden? Her and Josh dated for a long time!” she smiles, hoping to introduce the two of you. You nod your head and play along, not wanting to stir up any trouble. 

“Oh yes! We met a month or two ago!” you smile, looking back at Hayden. She offers you a fake smile and turns back to Josh who is sitting there completely smug.

“I think you girls are gonna get along so well, you really have a lot in common!” she encourages, gesturing to the both of you. 

“Yeah, like sleeping partners.” Jake mutters incoherently under his breath.

You kick him under the table, glad that Karen didn’t hear him. A grin turns his lips as he locks his phone and sets it on the table.

“Well, your mom and I were thinking about hitting the beach today, any of you want to join us?” she asks the group, and you immediately answer, needing to get the hell out of this house. 

“Yes! I’m ready actually, just have to grab my bag.”

“Perfect! Anyone else? I’m packing a cooler…” she continues. 

“I might.” Jake answers, biting his cheeks. 

“Oh, we are so going down there, I just have to get ready.” Hayden answers for the two of them.

“Sounds like it will be a fun day!” Karen smiles, disappearing down the hallway.

JAKE POV

You walk behind Y/N, sandwiched between your mom and her own. They chatter as they walk down the small boardwalk leading to the shore. You can’t hear what they’re saying over the noisy drag of the plastic wheels of the cooler you’ve been tasked with lugging to the sand, like you didn’t already have an umbrella over your shoulder. 

Bloo trots ahead of Y/N, sniffing eagerly at whatever the leash lets him reach, and you silently wish you were on dog duty instead. Josh and Hayden are lingering behind you, taking their sweet time as they walk hand in hand, going through the honeymoon phase all over again. You suppress a gag as you hear her giggle from a few yards away.

You all pick a spot near the water, settling the cooler into the sand. You push the umbrella deep into the sand, opening it with some concentration and elbow grease, seeing as the thing probably hasn’t been opened in a few years. When you finish and stand back up, you push your sunglasses up by the bridge and catch Y/N staring. You look away, setting up your beach chair and trying to get comfortable.

“Do you mind if I hang this here?” She asks, gesturing to the knob on the umbrella with the loop at the end of Bloo’s leash. “He probably wants to sit with you anyway.” 

“I guess. Kinda wanted to sit alone.” You remark, trying to seem as bored with the conversation as possible. She seems taken off guard at your bluntness, shaking her head. 

“Oh. Okay. Sorry, just because it’s like, kinda hot and he might need some shade. I didn’t bring an umbre–”

“It’s fine, just…. Here.” You say, cutting her off, unable to bear her nervous energy any longer. You take the leash from her and stick it under the leg of your beach chair.

“Thanks.” She says, watching as Bloo takes a seat in the sand. She pulls out his collapsible water bowl and fills it, leaving it under your umbrella nearby. You stick your nose in your book, busying yourself to avoid talking to her. 

Once the dog is situated, she walks off. You don’t watch as she goes, trying to concentrate on what you’re reading. You’re reading the same paragraph over for the third time because you can’t seem to absorb any of it while she’s nearby. 

You can’t help but check on what everyone else is doing, and when you look up, Y/N is bent over searching through the little wagon you all used to carry the endless amount of beach shit everyone deemed necessary. She stands back up and pulls her dress over her head, moving her braid back over her shoulder. Her bikini is nothing more than a few black triangles tied together with string. You immediately avert your eyes, reaching to open the cooler and grab yourself a beer, pulling your keys from the front zipper of your backpack. You use the bottle opener to pop open your Modelo and then it catches your eye. That fucking friendship bracelet. 

You look back up and she’s standing a few steps away. She sees it too. She leans over and grabs a seltzer out of the ice, her already sunkissed skin making your heart pound. She locks eyes with you for just a moment before walking off, her bathing suit bottoms sitting high on her hips, wedged in her ass to the point it has to be on purpose.

You’re pulled from your thoughts when you see Josh and Hayden setting up in front of you, ironically forming a triangle between you, them, and Y/N who’s laying out her towel a little ways to your right. She shakes it out from its fold, then lays it on the sand. She drops to her knees and leans forward to stretch it out, immediately making your dick hard and your resolve weak. 

The cosmic scale seems to balance, though, when your line of sight is occupied by Josh and Hayden, their hands all over each other as they kiss and cuddle on the beach like it isn’t 90 degrees in the blazing sun. Y/N is off to the side, laying on her stomach, propped on her elbows. You watch her back rise and fall as she sighs and lays all the way down, turning her head away from them as she gets some sun. 

The day goes by, seemingly getting more miserable by the minute. Bloo can’t seem to sit still. Your moms didn’t last an hour in the heat and they left you behind with all their shit. You only have one beer left. Josh and Hayden are seconds away from getting arrested for doing something that’s illegal in all 50 states in the middle of the fucking beach.

Looking over at Y/N, she’s still in the sun, her back turning slightly red. You give a stern shout in her direction.

“Hey.” 

She lifts her head immediately, looking over her shoulder at you through her sunglasses.

“Put on some sunscreen. You’re fuckin’ frying.” 

She grins in response, but you don’t afford her one of your own. She stands up brushing the sand off of her and heading for the beach bag. She pulls out some spray sunscreen and puts it on her legs, her arms, her stomach, her chest. She rubs it in a little and it leaves a shimmery sheen on her skin that somehow makes the idea of reaching out to sink your fingertips into the softest parts of her more tempting.  

She looks up at you, catching you. She takes a few steps in your direction, putting her sunglasses on her head.

“Can you put some of this on my back?” She asks, offering the can to you. You huff and stand up, making it clear you’re annoyed, and snatch it from her. She turns around and offers her back to you. You spray across her back and shoulders, then her lower back. As you do it, you watch as she cautiously unties her bottoms on one side, then re-ties them. As she pulls and adjusts them, she gives you a very purposeful, very clear view right down the back of them. You clear your throat and take a step backwards once you’re done, looking out at the horizon. 

“Can you just, like, run a hand over it? If you spray too close it sometimes doesn’t get everywhere.” She says, correcting your charity work. You make it seem like she’s asked you to do the impossible as you drop the spray to the sand and run your hands over her shoulders, her upper back, then down along the curve of her waist. You clear your throat once you’re done, sitting back down. 

“Thanks...” She mumbles, making a bit of a show out of bending over to get the sunscreen from where you dropped it. You make no effort to help her, opting to instead sit back in your chair and run your eyes up her legs, over her sandy cheeks, then up to her face as she stands. She stares at you for a second, so you raise your brows quickly and shake your head as if asking, “what do you want?”

She takes a deep breath and walks back towards her towel as you imagine pulling those damn strings and letting that suit pool at her ankles. 

HER POV

After lugging the metric ton of beach chairs, umbrellas, and bags back to the house, you lean the chairs you were carrying onto the railing of the deck as you watch Jake unceremoniously drop everything in his arms and walk inside. You take a second to arrange what he left in a way that won’t have you tripping and falling in the wee hours of the morning when you take Bloo out for his walk. 

Stepping inside the door and slipping off your sandals, the AC gives you goosebumps. You see your mom and Karen unpacking some grocery bags at the counter as you unclip Bloo’s leash. 

“Do you need any help?” You ask, holding your damp towel in your hand. Bloo is off drinking some water, his metal tags clinking against the bowl from Jake’s house. 

“Why don’t you go shower off and maybe you and Hayden can handle dessert?” Karen says, giving you a bright smile. You nod, wary of her suggestion to work alongside Hayden, but you don’t say anything else as you turn and head up the stairs. 

Stepping down the hall, you see Jake’s door is closed tight. So is Josh and Hayden’s, but that doesn’t stop the giggles and rumbles of his voice from coming through the wall. You shuffle into your own room, shutting the door with a little more force than necessary.

Dinner is, in a word, tense. Josh and Hayden carry the conversation, their dynamic truly unbearable. Now that they’re back together and “better than ever,” a direct quote from Hayden herself, they can’t seem to keep their hands off of each other.

“So, Hayden. Do you still work at the winery?” Karen asks, smiling at her from the head of the table. You keep your head down, not really engaging in the conversation. 

“Oh, yeah! That’s really why I was so excited to get away for a few days. It’s busy season and I can’t seem to catch a break.” She says, sipping some wine. 

“What do you do there?” Your mom asks, and you look to your right, seeing she’s genuinely interested. You can’t help but roll your eyes.

Jake catches it and smirks into his plate, his elbow on the table as he pushes his food around, the end of his fork between the tips of his fingers. Hayden drones on in the background about whatever she does as an event coordinator at some Nashville winery while you watch Jake. He puts his fork down and leans back in his chair, the bottom of his distressed white t-shirt riding up just slightly. He takes a big gulp of his red wine, and when he moves to put the glass down, he catches you staring. He cocks a single arrogant brow at you, swallowing the rest of the wine in his mouth.

“What is it that you do, Y/N?” Hayden asks with a disingenuous air about her, and your attention is immediately pulled from Jake and back to the conversation.

“I’m actually about to start my job search.” You answer, taking a deep breath. “Now that I’m done with school I have to decide if I’m going to stay in Nashville or head home or… who knows. I’m figuring it out. Life’s been a little crazy lately.”

“So I’ve heard.” She says, tilting her head with a smile. Her shiny blonde hair falls against her face and you cut your eyes to hers, a silent warning. Jake audibly laughs this time. He breaks off a piece of garlic bread and tosses it to Bloo. 

You shift your dirty look to him now, widening your eyes as if asking what the hell he’s doing feeding Bloo table food. He shrugs, challenging you to say something as the table falls silent. You pull your eyes away from him, picking your battles. 

Josh and Hayden start to chatter again and the tension settles, your mom turning a little towards you. She puts a hand on your back as she and Karen make plans to go out shopping the next day. You’re realizing she can tell something is off, so you force a smile and start to clear your plate. Your mom follows you to the sink shortly after, the kitchen a nice reprieve from the other room. 

“You know I don’t like to meddle…” She starts as you rinse your plate, and you can’t help but smile. 

“Mom.” You chide, and she laughs softly. She leans on the counter next to you, watching as you wash up a few dishes to avoid whatever conversation she’s about to try and have with you

“Do you remember the summer we spent in Cape Cod?” She asks, a lilt to her voice that says she’s going somewhere with this. “You and the twins were about six, I think. Sammy hadn’t started school yet, I know that much, because we bought him one of those license plate keychains with his name on it and he was so excited to put it on his backpack.” She muses, and you smile along. Karen pops in and drops off some plates from the table, seeing the two of you are having a moment, so she takes her leave soon after, grabbing the bottle of wine on the counter on her way. 

“That was the year with the bunk beds.” You say, confirming you at least remember one aspect of the trip.

“Yes, yes! That’s exactly where I’m going with this. That first night, everyone argued over who would get what bed. The twins were in the bunk beds and you were in the third bed over near the window.” She speaks softly, just loud enough to hear over the water. You rinse the plates and put them in the dishwasher, sorting the silverware to load in next. 

“Uh huh…” You respond, a little skeptical, wondering what she’s getting at. 

“Jake was on the top bunk when we put you all to bed. When I got up, I creeped in the door to wake you all up. Apparently…” She starts with a smirk. “Josh was tossing and turning all night and Jake couldn’t sleep with the movement from the lower bunk. So when I looked in your little twin sized bed, there you both were, face to face, curled up, sharing a pillow. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen.” She says, her eyes saying more than her words.

You look at her, letting the water run, but your hands are still. You raise your eyebrows, trying to hide your smile. 

“I knew it then.” She blurts out, a smug smirk on her lips.

“There’s nothing to know, mom.” You correct, getting back to the pot you were scrubbing as your cheeks flush. 

“Are we ready to get started on these cookies?!” Hayden asks, popping into the doorway. You give your mom a knowing smile, then turn to look at Hayden.  

“I’m just gonna finish these last few dishes if you want to preheat the oven?” You suggest, your mom squeezing your arm affectionately before she takes her leave. “I think the cookie sheets are in that cabinet over there.” You say, gesturing.

She reads the back of the package, the pre-cut cookies really not a task that requires two people, and then presses the buttons on the oven. She crouches down in front of the cabinet and you hear the clanging of pots and pans. 

It’s mostly quiet between the two of you as you finish the dishes. She lays some parchment paper on the cookie sheet. Eventually you dry your hands and turn towards her. She opens the first package of cookies, handing you half.

“You know, I really don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us.” She says, and you almost cringe visibly. It takes what little willpower you have to turn that feeling into a forced smile. 

“Oh, I–”

You’re interrupted by a thump from upstairs, followed by what sounds like Jake’s voice. You’re not sure what’s going on, but you assume he’s just roughhousing with Bloo or something. Hayden continues the conversation without skipping a beat.

“It’s really a shame the way things ended up.” She continues, laying cookies out one by one. “I know you really liked Josh.” Her words are dripping with condescension. What did he tell her?

“Well, it’s–”

“I’m sure it’s been hard moving on. But rest assured…” She says, leaning in towards you. “I’m not mad at you. No judgment here.” 

“Oh.” 

It’s obvious that she doesn’t know the full story. You don’t think it’s worth explaining yourself to her, since you’re certain whatever you tell her will bounce around her empty head for a few seconds before swiftly departing through the other ear. Instead, you opt for silence as the two of you stand side by side, laying out the cookies.Your pile has run out, so you wipe off your hands and head for the door. 

“If you set the timer, I’ll just wait in the dining room. Gonna go, um... Finish that puzzle.” You say, lingering at the door. She gives you a cheery acknowledgment and you walk off, breathing a sigh of relief. It feels like someone’s waiting for you at every turn, waiting to have a conversation that they know is going to catch you off guard. You unroll the puzzle mat and grab your wine glass, sitting at the table to wait for the timer to go off.

JAKE POV

After a miserable dinner filled with Hayden and Josh seemingly rubbing their happiness in your faces, you retreat to your room, intending to isolate yourself once more. This entire long weekend was bound to be a shitshow and you curse yourself for not getting out of it sooner. 

Before you can even get comfortable, you’re interrupted by a knock on the door. You know no matter who it is, you don’t want to talk to them. It just varies how much depending on the person. 

When you turn to look, peeking through the door is none other but the man at the top of your list. Josh has his phone in his hand and is looking at you like he’s got a question. 

“Are you checking emails?” He asks, his voice serious. You shake your head as you look through your backpack for the book you’ve been reading.

“No. I deleted all my apps. I’m not working. I told them that.” You answer, searching through all the junk that lives in your bag. 

“Okay… I’ll tell them it has to wait.” He says, almost baiting you to ask what he’s talking about. You won’t do it, though. You’re not engaging. You wait for him to leave, but he’s not going. 

“How’ve you been?” He mumbles, slipping his phone into his pocket. You finally find your book, standing back up to look at him.

“How do you think I’ve been?” You bite back, still angry with him. Despite all the time you’ve had to think, your feelings towards Josh have yet to change or lessen. He’s silent for a moment while he takes in your reaction.

“Can’t you just rip me a new one and stop moping around? The rest of us are trying to enjoy our vacation and the minute you enter a room it’s like the grim reaper’s joined the conversation. You’re bringing us all down.” 

You squeeze the book in your hands so hard your knuckles turn white. It’s taken you everything you have not to explode on someone over the last day and a half, and Josh has made a huge mistake prodding at you like this. 

“Have you ever considered it’s because I’m trapped in a 4 bedroom beach house with my twin brother who I found out was fucking my ex girlfriend? And don’t forget my ex herself, who lied directly to my face about it and has been begging me to forgive her! To top it all off, you brought a surprise guest, your ex, who you had to go and tell Y/N I hooked up with in a moment of weakness! So now she and I are mad at each other all over again, I’m fucking sick of you, I don’t want to see Hayden ever again, and our mother is treating me like a wounded bird because I’m in a ‘bad mood.’ How am I supposed to enjoy a single moment, a single conversation, a single meal with ANY of you?” You ask, shouting as you near the end of your outburst. 

Josh slips his phone into his pocket, sighing. He clears his throat. He goes to speak, but you’re already worked up. You don’t want to hear what he has to say.

“You have fucked up every single thing I’ve ever looked forward to. Do you know that? Everything.” You grit out, tossing your book on the bed. “You won’t let me write the music I want to. You fucked Hayden after our second date before I even had the chance to kiss her. You snatched Y/N right out from under me the moment you got wind of us sleeping together. It’s like you exist to make me miserable. Everyone thinks we’re so alike. I don’t want to be anything like you.” You spit, and Josh visibly winces at the words. It doesn’t stop you.

“You’ve made a mess of everything. You’ve turned me into someone I’m not… Hurting people, lying, getting revenge… Sacrificing my character as I try and navigate the fuckin’ disaster that is our life. Using everyone we know for some kind of validation you can’t ever seem to find. How fucked up is it that I have to say it’s ‘our’ life? I can’t believe it’s my lot in life that I can’t ever fuckin’ escape you!” You shout, and Josh’s eyes flash with hurt. Your words have wounded him, and it’s not even seconds before he’s yelling back at you.

“You can’t blame your equally shitty decisions on the fact that I’ve made mistakes, alright? You don’t get off scot free like I forced you to be a fuck up. If we’re blaming our choices on the other’s, none of this would have happened with Y/N if you hadn’t slept with Hayden.” He says, pointing at you. “You are at fault too. The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can just move on and let sleeping dogs lie.” 

His words resonate with you for a moment. They bounce around in your brain, formulating a train of thought that hurts you deeper than you anticipated.

None of this would have happened to Y/N if it weren’t for you.

“She didn’t deserve to get pulled into our fucked up game. You used her, you know that?”

“Oh, here comes the knight in shining armor. So did you.” Josh rolls his eyes.

“You’ve been using her since day fucking one, Josh. When we were kids! You knew I liked her. You only paid attention to her because it was some kind of fucked up game to you.” 

Josh goes silent, the gears in his head turning. He doesn’t look away, though. He’s watching your eyes, looking for some way to push this all back on you. You’re not going to keep entertaining this game of mental tug-of-war. 

“We could spend hours going back and forth, finding a reason for all the fucked up shit we did and blaming it on each other. I get it. I’m not a saint. I’ve been impulsive and I’ve been vindictive.” You say, trying to get a hold of yourself. You take a deep breath and Josh breaks the silence after a few moments.

“You hurt Hayden, too.” He blurts out, and that makes you pause. 

“Why do you care? How many times have you tried to get rid of her?” You ask. Josh runs a hand over his face, sighing. When he speaks, his voice is strained.

“I can’t… I’m not…” He stammers, trying to get his words together. “I’m shitty at being honest with other people. I’m even worse at being honest with myself.” He says in a moment of vulnerability. “I love her, Jake. And I know, I know. I’ve been self-sabotaging for years, inflicting my own hurt on her, I know. But it’s because I cannot stand the fact that I feel this way about her. I hate feeling like I don’t have a choice in how much I care.” He confesses, shaking his head. He looks down at the ground, thinking. 

“So you push her away.” You answer, filling in the blanks. “You push everyone away.” 

His eyes meet yours again. There’s something in his gaze that says you’re right, but you know he won’t admit it out loud. 

“We haven’t always been the best match. She’s… She’s an absolute pain in the ass. And it takes two to tango. But I think I owe it to her and to myself to see this through and take things seriously. For once.” He says, and he looks… small. He frowns, deep in thought. 

“I’m sorry.” You speak into the silent room. His eyes flick to yours for a moment, acknowledging the words, but then they’re gone. The sound of the waves crashing outside fills the void as you try and muster up more of an apology. “If I had known… I wouldn’t have fucked things up for you.” 

He doesn’t say anything in response. The words hang over the two of you.

“I am, too. I’m sorry.” He says, pushing off the door frame to sit on the chair in the corner of your room for the week. “I’m well aware I haven’t been a good person the last few years.”

He looks like he’s genuinely reflecting, resting his elbows on his knees, looking out the window at the waterfront. 

“I wasn’t kind to Y/N. I owe her an apology the same way you do Hayden.” He says, clearing his throat. Admitting he’s wrong is difficult for him. 

“I saw the perfect opportunity to get revenge. That’s exactly what it was, and I know it wasn’t right, but I did it. And I have to own that.” He mumbles, avoiding your stare again. He usually talks with his hands, but they’re still now. “Between the way you and I were butting heads about the new album and the way I couldn’t get my feelings straight with Hayden, I was angry, and I knew she would go for it. I knew she still held a candle for me after all those years and took advantage of her to hurt you.” 

You feel a slight tug at your heartstrings. She’s a hopeless romantic, the same as you are in some ways. She was dealt a shitty hand when it came to the two of you.

“We’re a pair of shitheads, huh?” You say, a humorless chuckle leaving you. He exhales sharply through his nose, a halfhearted laugh of agreement. 

“I spend so much of my time seething over the success, the attention, the opportunities afforded to you… I lose sight of the things I should probably be investing my energy into.” He confesses, his walls still down. It’s quiet as you think, realizing you’ve spent quite a bit of time doing the same. 

“You should forgive her.” He blurts out, looking at you with honest eyes. “We both messed with her head. She meant it when she said she tried to end things with me. I basically wouldn’t let her. I… I dizzied her up. I couldn’t let you win.” 

You sit on the edge of your bed, feeling too many things to even speak on how you’re feeling about Y/N. You want so badly to be angry. The moment she lied to your face having been on replay for weeks on end since the moment you found out. 

The only way past this, for all of you, is forgiveness. But you know yourself, and it’s not something that comes easily to you. 

“I’ll think about it.” You mumble, sighing as you stand back up. 

You need some fresh air, some time away from just about everyone in this house. You step towards the door, intending to leave, but you see Josh’s downcast eyes and know you can’t quite leave. 

“Uh, about what I said... about being stuck with you and everything… I didn’t—“

“Forget it.” He says, waving you off with his hand. Just like that, his walls are back up and solid as ever. You nod, knowing he understands what you meant and were going to say. You turn and head down the stairs, seeing Y/N back at the table, working on the puzzle again. She lifts her eyes to you for a moment, but then gets back to it. 

“I’m gonna go for a walk.” You say to both moms standing in the kitchen, chatting over some wine. 

At the word “walk,” Bloo is already at your feet, his excitement turning him into a wiggling blur of shiny silver fur. You look at Y/N, wordlessly asking her permission to take him with you. She nods, then looks back down at the pieces she’s trying to configure into the last of the horizon line. 

You reach for Bloo’s leash and harness on the table near the back door. You move to squat down and put the harness on him. Y/N tries to stand, like she’s going to do it, but you shake your head at her and she sits back down. 

Before you grab the door handle, you pause, hovering over her shoulder. You rest your hand on the back of the chair as you study the puzzle pieces in front of her. You reach for one, turning it before sliding it into place. By the time she turns around to look at you, you’re gone. 

The two of you make your way out of the sliding glass door, down the back steps, and out towards the beach. It’s almost sunset and there are a few other couples and families out walking the coast, but it’s mostly empty. 

Once you’ve made it far enough down the beach that you can’t see the house anymore, and you’re sure anyone inside can’t see you, you crouch down in the sand, pulling Bloo in towards you. He wags his tail, getting excited all over again as he jumps on you with such force he sends you toppling over into the sand.

“I missed you so much, buddy!” You grunt out through your teeth, your hands scratching his belly and back as he licks your face. “You’re the only one that listens to me, I swear to God.” 

You couldn’t bear to let Y/N see you so torn up about not having seen Bloo in weeks, but you missed him. Almost as much as you missed her.

You eventually get back up to your feet, brushing sand off of your linen pants and grabbing his leash off the ground before he tries to run off towards some seagulls. 

“Hey.” You say, getting his attention. “You promise to come back if I let you go?” You ask, and he tilts his head in response. You’re sure he’ll listen, so you unclip the leash and pat his back thigh, sending him off sprinting towards the flock of seagulls near the water. You can’t help but grin as you watch him fly into the air, jumping to try and catch them as they take off.

He successfully scares them all off, then starts to sniff around the shore. He stops at one specific spot, so you head over to see what the fuss is all about. When you approach, he’s curiously looking at a crab, sniffing around it as it walks across the sand. He whines, unsure. 

“It’s a crab, buddy. They pinch. Careful, or she’s gonna get your nose.” You warn. “Come on.” 

You snap your fingers and he lifts his head, following along as you start to walk further down the beach. 

“Stay close. Your mom would kill me if I lost you.” You say, watching as he trots alongside you, occasionally veering off course to sniff at some trash or a shell.

“Or would she?” You continue, thinking out loud as if Bloo’s going to offer insight. “Josh lost you and he rewarded him pretty heavily for that, so who knows.” You grumble, watching as he sniffs curiously at a piece of driftwood. 

“Go ahead,” you say, nodding. He obeys, picking it up and bringing it over to you. He drops it at your feet, so you take a seat in the warm sand, then toss it out for him to fetch. 

You spend a good amount of time listening to the sound of the waves and playing fetch with Bloo. Eventually, he starts to tire out, and he leaves the driftwood out on the sand. He comes to take a seat next to you, laying his head on your thigh. He sighs deeply, looking up at you with his sweet little eyes. 

“Don’t look at me like that. I know what you’re trying to say.” You chide, and he looks back out at the beach, guilty. “Everyone’s telling me to forgive her. But nobody is considering how I’m still so fuckin’ furious with her.”  Bloo whines softly. 

“I know she’s your mom. But she’s not perfect. She’s a damn good liar and she’s… she’s got me under this damn spell. I can’t figure out if I’m pissed at her because of what she did or if I’m pissed at her because I still want to be with her despite all of it.” 

Bloo shifts, looking up at you again. You smile, realizing the absurdity of it all.

“And here I am, stuck on a vacation where the only person I can talk to is the damn dog.” 

You gather up his leash, wrapping it around your hand and letting him run free a little longer. As you start to walk towards the house, he explores, sniffing up and down the beach, chasing more birds and kicking up sand. When the occasional family passes, you call his name, and with a snap of your fingers he’s back at your side. 

When you’re a few houses down from where you’re all staying, you call him over and put his leash back on. You don’t need Y/N seeing him running free and getting all nervous. You stand after clipping it back in place and look up at the house. 

Now that the sun has set, it’s mostly dark outside. There’s a light coming from the second floor, and for a moment you think it’s your room, but as you walk closer, you see it’s the one next to it. Y/N’s room. 

You see the shadow of her moving around as you approach, and you assume she’s getting ready for bed. Bloo tugs at the leash, wanting to explore more, but all it would take is one glance out her window and she would see you letting her dog loose to get lost again. 

“Sorry buddy.” You say, continuing on. Once you’re at the bottom of the steps that lead back up to the porch and the house, you look up again. You practically feel your heart stop as you’re met with a topless Y/N in the window, putting her hair up in a bun, clear as day. You take a few seconds to selfishly look at her, remembering the way she looks, the way she feels… but then realize you’re not alone. You turn around to see if there are any people walking on the beach nearby, and thankfully, there aren’t. You jog up the stairs and inside, taking off Bloo’s leash. He heads to his water bowl, which you recognize as the spare one you bought for your house, but recently gave back to Y/N.

Huffing, you head for the stairs, not sure what you’re going to say, but you’re going to say something. You stomp up both flights, then head for her door. You hear Bloo’s footsteps at the very bottom, like he’s following you up.

You knock at her bedroom door and she quietly tells you to come in, most likely not expecting you.

“You know your window is wide open, right?” You snap as soon as you open the door. She’s in the middle of getting into bed, pulling her covers down. Her pajamas consist of a paper thin tank top and some navy blue satin shorts. 

“What?” She asks, looking at the window, which now has the curtains drawn, then back to you. 

“There are families out there walking the beach and I look up to see your tits through the third story window.” You say, Bloo coming to sit at your feet. She gives you an eye roll. “I mean it. Don’t you have any clothes? Or did you lend them all to my brother?” You say, and she freezes. She sits on the bed, one leg still on the floor, giving you a look that says, really?

“Maybe if you didn’t give him my favorite fuckin’ shirt, you’d have something to wear.” You jab, twisting the knife, then turning to walk off toward your own bedroom. 

“Jake…” She says, and you can hear the hurt in her voice. You almost regret what you said, but there’s part of you that feels slight relief at giving her a piece of your mind. 

You take a shower to get the sand off of you and get changed for bed, everyone in the house awake but settling in for the night. Josh and Hayden pop into your doorway, saying goodnight. You give them a smile that would better be described as a grimace, then you hear the sound of their door closing. Your moms, occupying the downstairs bedroom, are likely already asleep after the wine they knocked back earlier. 

You see the light on and the door to Y/N’s room open each time you pass your own doorway, moving your suitcase, plugging in your phone, brushing your teeth, closing your curtains. You hear Bloo bark once, and it startles you. Her voice comes from the bedroom.

“Shhh, Bloo! Come here.” She scolds, but you don’t hear his nails against the floor. Instead he whines. 

You step out the door and look at him, sitting on the floor of the hallway between your two rooms. He starts to wiggle, wagging his tail. 

“Go to bed, Bloo.” You tell him in an attempt to be stern, then start to close your door. He barks back at you. You furrow your brow, confused. 

“Come on!” She says, getting out of bed, trying to control him. Why isn’t he listening?

You step towards him in the hall and try to coax him into her room. He jumps at you, circling excitedly as you walk towards her bed. Then it becomes clear.

“He knows you let him sleep in the bed. He wants you...” She trails off. Then she clears her throat. “He wants you to sleep in my bed so he can too, I guess.” She says, sadness in her voice. 

You shake your head, turning around towards the door. Bloo barks again and you have to let out a laugh.

“Stubborn like his mom.” You remark, raising a single eyebrow in her direction. 

She crosses her arms over her chest, realizing how revealing her top is. She calls his name again, but he doesn’t budge. 

“Fine.” You say, looking at him, then at her. “If you’re okay with it.” 

She raises her eyebrows in surprise, not sure what to say.

“For him. He can sleep between us.” You add, doing your best to sound annoyed. She nods, stepping back towards the bed. She slips under the covers and you usher Bloo with your arms to hop in after her. You get in and get comfortable, keeping a distance between the two of you, Bloo in the middle as a buffer. Silence settles over all three of you as you try to get some sleep. 

HER POV

You shift in your sleep, the sound of the ocean seeming particularly loud as you try and get your bearings. As you turn and try to come to, you realize it’s not the ocean, but the sound of water running. You see the door of the bathroom is barely cracked, light pouring out from underneath.

Rubbing your eyes, you shift your tank top back into place and sit up, trying to figure out what’s going on. You decide to head down to the kitchen to get some water while you’re awake. You figure he’ll be done brushing his teeth or whatever he’s doing by the time you’re back.

Once you make it back to the bedroom, however, the water is still running. You shuffle quietly to the bathroom door, intending to check on him. You put your glass of water down on your dresser and push the door open slightly.

On the floor in the corner near the shower is your beach towel and your bikini top. You must have forgotten to hang it up with your bottoms. You don’t see him in the shower and the lid is down on the toilet, so you push the door open further. 

The sight you’re met with stops you in your tracks. The first thing you see is his hand- braced on the edge of the sink, knuckles white, the strings of your black bikini bottoms wrapped once around his fist, swaying. 

As more of the scene comes into view, you see his briefs and pajama pants pulled down halfway, pulled taut around the widest part of his ass, the elastic digging into the soft skin. You hear a soft groan bounce off the walls of the bathroom and you know exactly what you’ve stumbled upon. The sight is intoxicating, the sound of his fist slipping furiously over his cock making your cheeks hot. It makes your stomach flip and your thighs clench.

Your eyes shoot up to the mirror, locking with his, which you could swear were already on you. For a split second, his pace stutters, like he was hesitating. But as fast as it had creeped in, he pushed it aside, picking back up so quickly and far more savagely that if you blinked, you would have missed it. 

It’s seconds before his brows furrow and his perfect, heart-shaped lips part, the bottom one swollen from the way you know he had it bitten between his teeth. They’re flushed your favorite shade of pink. 

The groan that leaves him is heavy and intense, his lips between his teeth to try and keep himself quiet. Your eyes shoot down to his hand as he spills over his knuckles, some going so far as hitting the mirror. He nearly doubles over, his elbow landing on the counter for more leverage to keep him from falling to his knees. He curses under his breath, heaving to catch his breath over the sink like he’s just been revived from the brink of death. You’re frozen still as you watch, until you see him lift his head, his eyes opening back up to meet yours in the mirror once more. 

Feeling drawn to him, unable to stop yourself, you slip all the way into the bathroom, gingerly reaching for his wrist. His chest rises and falls as he comes back down to earth, catching his breath, eyeing you cautiously. He looks almost helpless as he watches you lift his hand, dragging your tongue over the expanse of the back of his hand, your mouth suctioning over the side of it near his pinky. You keep your eyes on his, hoping your stare conveys everything you’re feeling; lust, need, regret, remorse…

You release it with a pop, moving to clean off his palm. He licks his lips as he watches you, his hand moving, parting his fingers to help you get every drop as your tongue darts out to clean him off.

It seems he decides you’re done when he retracts his hand and moves to tuck himself back into his pants. He squirts some soap onto his hand, pressing the pump down quickly twice, then starts to wash his hands. 

“Get in bed.” 

You look at him with wide eyes, nodding quickly before slipping out of the bathroom as quickly as you slipped in. You shoo Bloo out of the bed and he retreats to his own as you hop under the covers, anticipating what’s coming next. 

A minute later, the light in the bathroom turns off and Jake comes out. He takes his time walking to his side of the bed, snapping his fingers at Bloo, who stands and heeds his call to hop into bed. Bloo lays between you and Jake gets in after, pulling the covers up over his shoulder and rolling away from you. 

You could have sworn he was sending you to bed with the intention of continuing what had started in the bathroom, but you’re disappointed to realize he wanted the exact opposite when just a few minutes later, he’s snoring. 

You squirm and shift in bed, feeling like your clothes are too tight, the sheets too hot, his body entirely too far away. You can’t believe he just fell asleep. You feel like your body is burning up, your wetness turning your satin shorts sticky, the material clinging to your thighs. 

There’s no possibility you’re going to fall asleep, so you decide to slip your fingers under the waistband of your shorts, the choice to sleep without underwear really biting you in the ass now.

You’re already panting lightly, though all you’ve really done is lay in bed and listen to him snore for twenty minutes. You sigh as your fingers, so small in comparison to Jake’s, slide across your slippery skin. You can imagine his eyes- the eyes that used to look down at you underneath him, wrapped around him, like you were so precious. Like you could belong to him. 

Moving your hips to get comfortable, you accidentally scare Bloo away. He hops up and takes his leave, and in response, Jake rolls over. You know he’s half asleep, because he reaches out for you, his arm wrapping around your waist. He’s not quite spooning you, but there’s contact, and it only makes you want him more. 

You whimper softly with need as you squeeze your thighs together around your palm. If you can’t have what you want, which is the arrogant asshole snoring next to you that let you lick his fingers clean of his cum and then sent you to bed, you’ll take what you can get. 

“Aren’t you pathetic?” 

He murmurs, feeling your hips move just barely. He’s awake. 

“Getting yourself off when you can feel my breath on your neck?’ 

You freeze, trying to pull your hand from your shorts, but his hand is quick to find your wrist. 

“Don’t you dare fucking stop now… Now that you’ve got the audience you so badly wanted.” He coos, his tone almost sinister. “You’re fucking filthy, you know that?” 

You can’t help but whine in response, canting your hips against your hand, desperate for some more friction. He lets out a soft, cocky chuckle when he feels you move. 

“I can smell how feral you are. Like your body’s just begging to be fucked.”

“Jake…” You say as you let out a shaky breath, gently scolding him for his vulgarity.

“What, baby? I hear my brother treats you like a slut… I’m just trying to give you what you apparently wanted so badly...” He coos. He tosses the blankets off of you both, rolling you onto your back. His hand finds your throat and he leans down to whisper in your ear.

“Let me take a page out of his book, hm? I’ll fuck you, since you’re so desperate...” He says, tugging the satin shorts down your legs and tossing them aside. “But it means nothing. You understand?”

You look up at him, your eyes blown wide. You’re drunk on a cocktail of confusion, arousal, and embarrassment. It’s enough to render you speechless. All you can do is nod as he tugs down his pants and briefs, huffing like it’s an inconvenience. 

"Say you want it." he demands.

"Yes. Yes." you beg.

“Thought so. Take these…” He says, grabbing your hand, specifically the two fingers he knows were just inside you, and pulling them up towards your face. “And keep yourself quiet. Taste yourself like you tasted me.” He instructs. 

You do as he says, putting your middle and ring finger in your mouth, closing your lips around them. He looks down between your bodies, swiftly running the head of his cock through your folds and pressing inside you.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ needy. Can’t even let a man jerk off in peace…” he grumbles, his voice strained as he immediately starts to fuck into you, long, intentional strokes that have your mind going blank already. He knows exactly what you like and he’s determined to get you off so he can go to bed. 

“So greedy you have to kick the door down and lap up my cum… Have you no shame?” He asks, leaning in, his nose pressed against your cheek as he grips your thigh and drives into you deeper. 

You whine around your fingers, unable to respond, but even if you could, you can’t string together a single sentence. 

“Open your mouth.” He commands as he grabs your wrist, and you immediately obey, opening your mouth as he holds your fingers close by, like he’s about to put them back in. “Since you love the taste of me and apparently can’t get enough…” He says, and you can tell by the way his tongue sounds lazy as he speaks, he’s gathering up spit in his mouth. 

You flatten your tongue, brows knitting together as you look up at him. He pulls back slightly, then spits directly into your mouth. He lets out a dirty little chuckle as you swallow eagerly. He puts your fingers back into your mouth as soon as you’ve swallowed.

“You’ll just take anything you can get, won’t you, Cherry?” He says, sucking his teeth in disappointment. “Dirty girl.” 

You feel your stomach flip as he uses Josh’s nickname for you, no doubt trying to hurt you. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on in some fucked up way. You feel the tension in your abdomen start to intensify, the drag of him against you making you dizzy. He can feel you’re close, and he stops. 

“Come on, baby. Tell me how sorry you are.” He taunts, moving at an iceberg’s pace. You pull your fingers from your mouth, gasping and swallowing. 

“I’m sorry, Jake, I’m so fucking sorry. Please...” You beg, panting as he starts to pick up his pace again. You know it’s not a real apology, and you have more to talk about, more to take accountability for, but you’re glad he forced your hand. You’re not sure you would have been able to finish if at least an ounce of the guilt wasn’t lifted from you. You put your fingers back into your mouth, thinking that’s what he would have wanted you to do, wanting to please him.

“Tastes that good, huh?” He grits out, pushing up on his palm to give himself more range as he pounds into you, an iron grip on your thigh. “Lemme taste, baby.” 

He lets go of your leg and seizes your wrist with his hand, pulling your fingers from your mouth into his. You groan as you feel him suck your fingers, only to the first knuckle, barely past his soft, plush lips. His mouth is wet and soft and perfect as he drags his tongue under the pads of your fingers. 

He releases them and you let your hand fall to his shoulder, holding him for leverage as he grits his teeth and speaks once more.

“Say it again.”

“I’m sorry...” You whimper, looking up at him. He has to know you are. He sees it in your eyes, but he’s Jake, he’s a skeptic, and you know he needs to hear it. With those two words, despite how dirty what was happening between you was, you solidified that what you were doing was still between two people that care about each other. 

You feel tears burning at your eyes, either from the burning orgasm approaching or the bubbling feelings, and your nails dig into his shoulder slightly. 

“Come on, baby. Fall apart for me. Wanna watch those pretty eyes roll back.” He says, leaning down, resting his face against yours. He captures you in a deep, passionate kiss, his tongue finding yours, tasting you, the sweet and salty mix of you both. 

You cry out softly, not wanting a single soul in the house to hear what’s happening between you two. Your vision blurs, your legs tightening around him as you fall over the edge, bringing him with you. He moans loudly into your hair, into the pillow underneath you as both of you meet your end, together.

It’s a few minutes of silence, of breathing, of heartbeats, before he stands and rolls his shoulders back, running his hands through his hair. He saunters off to the bathroom first, water running once more, and when he opens the door, you take your turn, passing him silently. 

It’s a surprise when you get back to bed and see he’s laid up with Bloo, who’s no longer in the spot between the two of you. Jake seems to be waiting for you to come and lay up under his arm, and you don’t hesitate to slip into bed and situate yourself as his little spoon.

When you get situated, he pulls the sheets and summer quilt over the both of you. He kisses your shoulder softly and mumbles against your skin.

“I’m sorry too.” It’s quiet, but you hear it. He sighs, then speaks again. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

You nod, cozying up against him, hoping his proximity affords you a good night’s sleep for the first time in weeks, and trying to ignore the pit forming in your stomach at the thought of what tomorrow's conversation will bring.

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[gretavangroupie]

Kismet (Chapter 7)

Pairing: Josh x Reader, Jake x Reader

Word Count: 17.3k

Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol Consumption, Drug Use, Fluff. Angst: Verbal Sparring, Light Degradation, Light Verbal Abuse, Lying, Arguing, Jealousy, Guilt, Heartbreak, Toxic Masculinity, Crying, Manipulation Themes. Smut: Kissing, Teasing, Fingering F!Receiving, Oral F!Receiving, Oral M!Receiving, Cock-warming, Unprotected Penetrative Sex, Rough Sex, Dacryphilia (if you squint), Impact Play (Spanking).

This series is a special collaboration with my best buddy @sacredstarcatcher. If you haven't checked out her previous work Cruel Summer, be sure to add it to your reading list. If you would like to be added to the taglist for this series, please follow this link!

JAKE POV

“Tell me now, Y/N. Did you fuck my brother?” the words spewed out of you like venom. Her teary eyes were wide and her lip quivering as she stood in front of you in the steamy bathroom. “It’s simple, yes or no.” 

Tears begin to spring from her eyes as her cheeks flush red with embarrassment. She turns her face away from you as she tries to wipe away the tears from her eyes, sniffling as you shift your weight and readjust your towel impatiently. Your blood is boiling beneath your skin and you feel the rage starting to spill over. “I’m waiting, Y/N.”

Her eyes flick to yours ready to say something but you don’t let her. Quite frankly, you weren’t interested in what she had to say, knowing it would more than likely not be what you wanted to hear. You know Josh. You know how his mind works, and you know that the evening they spent together couldn’t have been completely innocent, if at all.

“No! Jake, I ca—”

“What!? You can what, Y/N?” You snap, grabbing your things from the bathroom counter with no intention of letting her speak. You fling the bathroom door open and make your way out, scanning her bedroom for your clothes. Bloo weaves himself between your legs, tripping you up and causing you to stumble into her dresser. 

“Goddamnit Bloo! Get out of the fuckin’ way for once!” you yell at him, seeing him lower his ears and tuck his tail between his legs. His eyes are ashamed, and instead of acknowledging the guilt striking through your chest you look away. “Where the fuck are my clothes, I need to get out of here...” 

“In the washer, I thought—”

“You thought what Y/N?! I didn’t ask you to do that! I didn’t ask for any of this, actually!” you seethe, watching her grab a pair of sweatpants from her dresser. You snatch them from her hands and pull them over your legs, “This is exactly why I didn’t want this to be more than it was! I knew he would find a way to get his fucked up revenge.”

“Revenge?” she asks, crinkling her brow and cowering back.

You pull a t-shirt over your head and grab your keys from the dresser, anger still pouring from your veins. You know you slipped up and she’s going to try and get you to explain yourself. So you do what you have to and push her away. 

“It doesn’t fucking concern you.” you snap, making your way to the front door, and slamming it behind you as you leave. 

That five minute drive to your house seemed more like two as you flew down the streets riddled with parked cars. You threw your car into park and slammed the driver’s door shut as you approached your front door, ready to lock yourself away for the day.

Not caring that it’s one in the afternoon, you pop the cap on your beer, tossing it on the counter before making your way upstairs. You perch yourself on your bed, sipping the icy beverage as you pull your buzzing phone from your pocket. You see a call coming in, the photo of Y/N and Bloo lighting up the screen. Your heart leaps as you hit the red button declining her call, knowing there’s positively nothing she could say that would change your mind on what you knew was the most likely scenario.

You had half a mind to call Josh and ask him yourself, but you knew if you did he would receive the validation he was craving. He’d know he won. He’d fucked you over just like you’d done to him. The only shred of hope you had left was the ‘no’ that left her mouth when you did let her speak. You knew there was more she wanted to say, but you refused to let her explain any further.

As the call goes to your voicemail you open your waiting texts seeing two from her, and one from Josh. You roll your eyes seeing their names so close together on your screen. You hit his name first, pulling up a message you remember getting while you were on your run.

Josh

11:47am: Drinks tonight?

You

1:06pm: No, busy.

You close his thread and open hers, swallowing as you read the words on the screen.

Y/N

12:40pm: Jake, please talk to me. You didn’t even give me a chance.

Y/N

1:05pm: I’ll leave your clothes on your porch when they’re done. 

You huff a sigh and close her thread, flicking through the hundreds of unopened texts in your phone, seeing names you recognize and some you don’t. A sinister thought crosses your mind as a certain name appears near the bottom of the list. You hesitate as you tap your finger to the thread, unsure if you want to reopen this can of worms, but something tells you to do it, so you do. You see a handful of unread messages from her, your mind flashing back to that period of time, but immediately pushing it away. Your fingers type a message and hit send before you have time to talk yourself out of it, and as it shows delivered, you know you’ve driven the first nail in your coffin. 

You

1:09pm: What are you doing? Come over.

Hayden 

1:11pm: Well hello Jakey…Long time no speak.

1:11pm: Unfortunately, I just made plans with your brother. 

You

1:12pm: Since when do you care about him?

1:12pm: Cancel them.

Hayden 

1:13pm: Dunno…Think he was gonna at least take me to dinner first…

You

1:14pm: Cut the shit Hazy. You know I don’t like to wait.

Hayden 

1:15pm: You gonna make it worth my while?

You

1:15pm: Seems you’ve forgotten who you’re talking to.

Hayden 

1:16pm: On my way. 😘

You locked your phone and tossed it on the bed with a smirk, taking the last swig of your beer as you realize you should probably change out of your borrowed clothes. 

HER POV

After the fight with Jake, you don’t hear from him for a while. He pumps the brakes, limiting the communication between the two of you to texts about Bloo on Sunday mornings. An entire month passes where you don’t see each other. You purposely sleep in on Sundays, avoiding his presence when he sneaks in and out of your house to pick Bloo up and drop him off. It’s not until the second week of April that he sends you something different. An invitation.

Jake

12:36pm: Hey, we’re having a get together at my place next Saturday for Josh and I’s birthday. It would be good to see you there. Starts at 7.

Josh, who you also haven’t been hearing from nearly as often as you used to, sends you a text that you’re positive he’s just copying and pasting to whoever else he wants to invite. You tell him you’ll be there. All he affords you in return is a thumbs up emoji.

After the incident at the bar with Josh, the two of you never really resolved it. No discussion, no phone call, no ‘I miss you’ exchanged in either direction. You chalked it up to Josh being Josh. He’s hot and cold, and you had made the mistake of getting too comfortable with the nicer side of him he shared with you over the winter. 

That, paired with the way Jake reacted to almost catching the two of you, had effectively pushed you away from both of them once again. You decided you weren’t going to chase either of them. 

Josh texted you occasionally, checking in, sending you links to film reviews, things like that. But he hadn’t made any effort to make plans with you even once. You would be lying if you said you didn’t wonder why he hadn’t reached out to you. It felt an awful lot like the year after he kissed you. The constant thoughts eating away at you and occasionally bullying you in the quiet, your psyche pulling bullshit reasons out of thin air to explain why he didn’t want you… It was all too familiar. 

Reaching out to Jake seemed even more daunting. The conversation the two of you are bound to have is terrifying and one that you’d like to avoid. So you agree to stop at their birthday party and say hello, give them some generic gifts, then go back to avoiding them. You don’t exactly know why Jake isn’t reaching out to you. His outburst when he left your house had you confused for days. Why would Josh be using you to get revenge? You’ve wracked your brain countless times trying to put the pieces together, but you know the dynamic between the two of them is one you’ll never understand.

The day of the party, you’re feeling a little nervous because of it all. You pick out a yellow sundress to wear, seeing the weather is going to be on the warmer side. Parking on the street, you lock your car and head to the front door of Jake’s house. You can hear music and voices in the backyard and smell the food on the grill. You carry in the two identical boxes containing their gifts stacked on top of each other, the only difference between them being the names on the tags. Inside is a swimsuit for Josh and a pair of the running shorts you know Jake likes, for him.

You step inside the house and there are a few guests in the kitchen, nobody you really recognize. You offer them polite smiles before you put their gifts down and head to the back door, standing on the deck as you scan the backyard for at least one familiar face. 

Jake is standing over at the grill, lifting the lid and keeping a watchful eye on the burgers. He’s in a pair of cream colored pants, a black knit button down on top, the short sleeves cuffed once, two of the four buttons undone. You approach, taking in the sight of him, admiring the way the sun is making his hair appear a shade lighter.

“Hey.” You offer softly, and he gives you a bright smile in return. 

“Hey you. Didn’t know if you were gonna show…” He responds, closing the lid of the grill. He gives you a casual, friendly smile and pulls you in for a hug, squeezing tightly. 

“You shouldn’t be the one grilling at your own party.” you chide playfully in an attempt to break the tension, but he shakes his head.

“I don’t trust another soul to do it. Josh can’t cook to save his life.”

“It’s his birthday too.” As soon as you say it, you realize you shouldn’t have.

“Don’t remind me.” Jake says, taking a sip of his beer. “You need something to drink?”

You nod and he guides you off towards the coolers they have set up on the far side of the yard. As you walk, you catch up, not having seen each other in a while. You fill him on your schedule for finals and he updates you on what his guitar project is looking like. 

Your eyes wander the party as he digs through the ice behind you, wondering where Josh is. You haven’t seen him in weeks either, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t missing him.

“Hey, Jakey.”

A female voice sounds from behind you, a flirty lilt to her voice. You turn around to see him pulling his hand from the ice, red and wet, offering you a seltzer. He eyes the girl next to him carefully, like he’s unsure about her. Your eyes follow his and see it’s the blonde girl, Josh’s friend. The one from the bar. 

She’s beautiful. A little taller than you, she’s in a silky midi skirt and an effortlessly cool vintage band tee that seems to have slipped off her shoulder in the most picturesque way. Her boots are worn in, but not too much. Her hair shines in the sun as she pushes it behind her ear, her fingers covered in a collection of unique rings.

She has an air about her that tells you she doesn’t care about your opinions of her, or anything for that matter. She’s confident, but not overly so. She’s got you a little annoyed and a little intimidated. 

“Hey. Thanks for coming.” He says, barely looking at her. His tone is a little cold as he takes your seltzer back, opens the tab, then gives it to you again, annoyed with himself that he forgot to open it for you.

“You know I wouldn’t miss this...” She says, giving him a little smile. You resist the urge to audibly groan. 

“I’m guessing Josh invited you?” He says, his tone bored, and her smile falters. 

The girl laughs it off, not bothering to give him a response. She spares you a glance for just a second before she reaches for her own drink. Jake guides you away by the small of your back before she has a chance to say anything else. 

“Who was that?” You ask, looking over your shoulder at him as he walks you through the grass. 

“That…” he starts, pausing to take a deep breath, “...is Hayden.” 

“Hayden?” You question. “Like, Josh’s ex, Hayden?” 

“Yeah.” He says, reaching for the lid of the grill and getting back to business. “Bold of him to invite her… probably why he didn’t ask me. He knew I would have told him to fuck off.” 

You hum in acknowledgement, your brain working overtime to put the pieces together. The night at the bar… The moment he saw her at the table it was like a switch flipped, and now you know exactly why.

You stand next to Jake as he flips the burgers, delicately laying slices of cheese on each one. You zone out a little, looking out into the backyard to see Josh, finally. He’s standing with Hayden, who is buzzing around him like a mosquito, wearing a short sleeve linen jumpsuit, his trademark triangle symbol embroidered into the khaki fabric. The two of them seem well suited to each other, laughing as they drink. Hayden is freely flirting with him and touching him affectionately where everyone can see, which makes your skin crawl because you know that’s something you aren’t able to do. You feel a surge of jealousy as you remember how they were both so dismissive of you at the bar. What is it about her that’s so great he had to blow you off as soon as he saw her?

You know that you have no right to feel jealous. There isn’t any real reason you should be upset with him, aside from his usual shitty attitude. You haven’t seen him in nearly six weeks. He made your decision for you and he has Hayden to keep him distracted.

You should be happy about that. Right?

As the party goes on, you eat with Jake, complimenting his skilled grilling. You jokingly suggest that you should have gotten him a snarky apron with a dad joke on it for his birthday instead of what you already picked for him. He rolls his eyes at you, smiling as he wipes some of his hamburger bun from his mustache with a napkin. It’s not as tense as you had expected the day to be, which is a pleasant surprise. Eventually you stand, gathering both of your plates to take to the trash. 

“Gonna run to the bathroom.” You say, tossing your plates and heading up the stairs. As you reach the top step, you lock eyes with Josh for just a second. 

You know you shouldn’t, but you do it anyway. You give him an incredibly obvious hint, your eyes looking him over from head to toe, then back up. It doesn’t make sense, and you know it’s not rational, but you can’t stop yourself. He raises his brows in return and you disappear into Jake’s house. 

Your heart is pounding as you sequester yourself in the bathroom, looking your face over. Your cheeks are flushed pink and you admonish your reflection, like it’s her fault you’re acting the way you are.

Something about seeing Hayden all over him, knowing he hasn’t asked to see you in weeks because of her presence… It lights something up inside you. You know what it is, but can’t bear to say it. You’re not that kind of person. 

You wash your hands and dry them, taking a deep breath before opening the bathroom door. At the end of the hall, you see Josh waiting, like he knew exactly what you were saying with your eyes and dropped everything. Everyone.

“Hello, stranger.” He says, pushing off the wall to stand in front of you. “It’s been a while.”

“It has. I see you’ve been keeping yourself busy?” You quip, not beating around the bush. You cross your arms in front of you.

“There’s that little jealous streak…” He coos, grinning. He reaches out to adjust the cinched waistline of your dress. You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Fair is fair, Cherry bomb. Can’t explode on me for thinking I’m doing the same thing you are...” 

You stay silent, because he’s right. It doesn’t do anything but fan that flame burning in your chest, though. 

“It’s not my fault you can’t seem to make up your mind.” He adds. God, he’s an asshole.

“Whatever.” You say, but both of you know it is very clearly not whatever to you. You step by him, walking back through the house. He follows and you can hear him snickering behind you.

The both of you walk out of the sliding glass door, but you stop short. He follows suit, a subtle hand on your lower back. As you look out to the tables throughout the yard, you see your seat has been occupied by none other than Hayden herself.

You’re pretty confident Jake has no interest in her. You look over your shoulder at Josh, knowing him well enough to predict the annoyed expression on his face. He has his own jealous streak, and clearly it applies to more than just you.

“Looks like she can’t make up her mind, either.” you mumble, and you feel him tense up behind you. Hayden is clearly flirting, her hand on his arm, laughing and smiling, inching her way closer to him. Her eyes are roaming every inch of his exposed arms and chest when they aren’t locked on his. 

Jake seems less than interested. He tries to shrug her off, shaking his head at whatever it is she’s saying. He sips his beer and looks away, letting her talk. You feel a little better that it’s her turn to be humbled now.

Without a smart comment, which tells you he must be pretty serious, Josh makes his way down the stairs. You watch as he interrupts the two, Jake taking the opportunity to slip away from Hayden. He spots you at the top of the stairs, nodding and heading towards you.

“You left me to the wolves…” he says, walking up the stairs. You laugh halfheartedly, your eyes still on Josh and Hayden’s interaction.

Josh seems annoyed, which you knew was coming. He can’t stand when the attention isn’t on him. You know that’s why he acts out the way he does. 

“Sorry. I had to pee. She’s kinda pushy, isn’t she?” You ask, trying to pry. “She seems well suited to Josh.”

“You could say that.” Jake says, rolling his eyes. You look over your shoulder to see the two of them still at the table, seemingly bickering. Josh’s expression is unmistakable, he’s annoyed and about to make it everyone’s problem. 

“Oh?” You question with selfish motives.

“It’s a long, messy story.” Jake says, shrugging it off, and you can tell he’s a little annoyed.

You decide not to press any more, shaking your head to clear your thoughts. You can’t help but feel a little guilty for reveling in their spat as you watch from afar, but as you watch Josh’s clenched jaw from across the yard, you feel the slightest bit of satisfaction. 

As the sun goes down, the party moves into the house. As the crowd dwindles, everyone mingles in the kitchen as the drinks are flowing. 

Josh leans on the countertop next to you, watching as you absentmindedly swipe your finger through the condensation on your seltzer can. 

“How many is that, Cherry? Three?” 

You look up at him, unenthused. Out of spite, you take another sip.

“Playing babysitter on your birthday?” You ask, looking over at Hayden, then back to his piercing eyes. 

“You shouldn’t drive.” he says, completely glossing over your comment. He takes a deep breath, rolling his shoulders with a devilish smirk. “I’ll see to it that you get home safely, don’t worry.” 

“Don’t you have someone else to worry about?” You quip, jealousy bleeding into your tone. You take a big sip of your drink,  

“I’m choosing you right now, Cherry pie. Doesn’t that feel good?” He presses, his tone smug. “You gonna tell me to go kick rocks?” 

You give him a little laugh. He’s zoned in on your simmering jealousy and weaponized it against you. He knows you well enough to understand what you’re feeling and use it to his advantage. 

“No.” You answer softly. You look out into the crowd, avoiding his eyes.

“Didn’t think so.”

“Haven’t you been drinking too?” You ask, hoping to outsmart him.

“No way. With this crowd? Gotta keep my wits about me.” He winks and holds up his cup, offering it to you. “Pamplemousse.” 

Before you can respond and tell him you think La Croix is disgusting, Jake is back in the vicinity, opening the fridge. 

“Oh, okay. So now that I have the both of you…” you begin, addressing both twins at once. It’s a rare occasion you’re in a room with both of them, but after a few drinks and the hiatus from both of them, your anxiety is lessened. “When you open your presents, you’re probably going to think they’re strange. But they’re for vacation.” You say, eyes shifting between both of them.

Hayden’s ears seem to perk up from across the kitchen island. 

“Vacation?” She asks, taking a few steps over towards where the three of you are standing. 

“Well, yeah.” You say, like it’s obvious. “We’re taking a family vacation like we used to as kids.” You give Hayden a big smile, killing her with kindness. She seems irritated.

“Oh, are you guys like, cousins?” She asks, and both you and the twins laugh. Josh gives a chuckle, while Jake chokes a bit on his drink, shaking his head. The fact that everyone is in on the joke except her seems to burn her up.

“No, no. Childhood friends. Our moms are really close.” You correct, shaking your head with a grin. She looks at Josh, like she’s asking for confirmation, and he just gives her a little nod. You’re not sure what to make of the little interaction, but keep an eye on them as conversations shift and people come in and out of the kitchen.

Josh and Hayden pair off, chatting amongst themselves. Every once in a while, Josh lets his attention shift to you, subtly making sure you’re still around, still on the hook. It makes your cheeks burn, seeing his arm around Hayden, knowing he’s likely plotting what he’s going to do with you once he takes you home. Your heart starts to pound at the thought.

It’s then that you feel Jake’s warm hand on your elbow, pulling your attention to him. 

“Do you think…” he starts, unsure. “You want to hang back and maybe… maybe spend the night?” 

You can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face, seeing him all nervous and boyish. You shake your head softly, a polite rejection.

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”

Jake slips his hand into his pocket, but you can still feel his touch. 

“Are you still mad at me?” He asks, resembling Bloo when you catch him chewing your shoes. If he had a tail, it would be between his legs. 

“I mean, yeah, Jake.” You laugh, giving him a look. “You threw some pretty harsh accusations at me and then went radio silent. I think we have some stuff to talk about before we….” You trail off, knowing he gets it.

“Alright, yeah. That’s true. Sorry. I’ve had a few beers and I’m not… I’m not thinking with the right head.” He says, his cheeks a little rosy. You can’t help but smile at his charming sense of self-awareness. 

“We should, uh…we should get drinks or something, though. I’d apologize now but I want it to be good.” He laughs with you then, the moment of tension broken. You give him a coy smile, knowing you can’t resist him for long. 

Josh, picking up on the moment between the two of you, calls Jake away. He guides him out of the kitchen by the back of his neck, talking animatedly with his other hand. Jake looks back at you for a second, offering you a sweet, almost apologetic smile as he’s dragged away.

Around 11, Josh looks at you from across the room, giving you the signal with his finger to wrap it up. You see Jake is in the middle of a conversation, so you head in his direction, pulling him away momentarily. 

“I think I’m gonna head out.” You give him a tipsy smile, your eyes crinkling up in the corners. You’re flushed red and it’s clear you’re in no condition to drive. “And before you give me any trouble, Josh is going to drive me home.” You give him a look, wordlessly warning him not to throw another accusation your way. “He’s the only sober one here and I have to let Bloo out.” 

Jake sighs, nodding. 

“Will you text me when you get home? And send him back to help me clean up?” 

You know that last part isn’t going to work, and it’s obvious he’s asked to make sure Josh doesn’t linger. 

“I can try, but you know how he is.” You say, rolling your eyes. “Thanks for inviting me.” 

Jake pulls you in for a hug, and you can’t stop yourself from burying your face in his hair, squeezing tightly. He smells so good, so familiar. As you pull away slowly from the hug, the two of you lock eyes. It’s almost as if he’s about to kiss you, but a voice sounds from the front door.

“Let’s go! Meter’s running, little inebriate.” Josh jingles his keys and you part from Jake, giving him a little wave before you scurry to the door. 

Once you get into Josh’s truck, you get yourself situated and buckled while he starts the engine. He goes to lean forward, reaching for your cheek to pull you in for a kiss, but you quickly snatch his wrist and pull his arm down.

“Not here. Someone could see, and I’m really in enough trouble as it is.” 

He gives you a confused look, but shifts into drive anyway.

“What do you mean trouble?”

“He didn’t say anything to you?” You ask, clearly misinformed about how much they talk to each other. Josh shakes his head and you sigh, knowing you have to explain now

“Jake and I haven’t been speaking.” You start, pulling at the seatbelt that feels a little too tight now. 

“Oh, trouble in paradise?” He asks with a smirk. “What happened? Someone forgot to feed the dog?”

“No, idiot.” You huff, not finding him funny at the moment. “He saw your little message for me on the mirror and knew it was your handwriting. He accused me of sleeping with you and stormed out, and we hadn’t talked from then until tonight.” 

You should have known he would find the situation hilarious. It doesn’t make it any less annoying when he starts giggling. 

“Oh, man. I can see his face right now. That probably chapped his ass, didn’t it?” He says, sighing like he’s laughed too hard. 

You look at him flatly from the passenger seat as he slaps his knee, laughing again. 

“It’s not funny!” You squawk at him, fighting a smile, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. “You’re such a pain in the ass.” 

He laughs the rest of the five minute drive. You could wring his neck. When he gets out of the car and meets you around the front of it, you look at him and his shit eating grin, trying to look as aggravated as you can. It’s not easy, since you’ve got a case of the giggles from the drinks you’ve had and his big, cheesy smile is so contagious.

You playfully wind up, like you’re going to give him a cartoony punch to the arm, but he quickly wraps his arms around you, squeezing you so tight you can’t lay a finger on him. You laugh and squeal as he kisses your cheek, then your neck, nuzzling to tickle you while stifling his own giggles. 

“You gonna invite me in or what, Cherry?” He mumbles as your laughs quiet down. His kisses are slower now, the occasional slip of his tongue against the sensitive skin below your ear. 

“Jake said you have to go back and clean up…” 

“Since when is he the boss of me?” He says as you fish through your bag for your keys. 

He lets you go, following a little behind you as you walk up the stairs towards the door. You put the key in the door and greet Bloo, grabbing his collar to prevent a freakout. Surprisingly enough, he doesn’t bark. He approaches Josh excitedly, sniffing his shoes, then looking up at him expectantly. 

“Don’t be rude. Say hello.” You say, hanging your keys up and putting your bag on the counter. 

“Can we skip the formalities?” He says, giving Bloo a cautious pat on the head. 

You watch as he makes his way to your bedroom on his own, and you can hear him pull the zipper all the way down his jumpsuit as he goes. 

“You can’t start without me!” You call after him, unstrapping your shoes and kicking them off at the door. 

“Watch me, Cherry…” he answers, which sends you running after him, trying to reach for the zipper at the back of your dress. 

You shut your bedroom door, locking Bloo out as you let your dress fall to the floor. Josh has rid himself of his jumpsuit and boxers, and as he sits on the edge of your bed he smirks, taking in the sight of you in front of him. 

“C’mere Cherry, you know we don’t have long.” he motions you towards him with the curl of two fingers.

You saunter over, your insides vibrating with want as he grabs your hand in his, pulling you to straddle his lap and settling you right over his bare cock. “There you go, you know where I like you.”

You wrap your arms around his neck as his mouth connects to your chest, sucking a pink mark into the skin. “C’mon Cherry, let me hear those pretty sounds. Missed ‘em so bad, you know.” he murmurs into your skin, the deep richness of his voice sending a tingle up your spine.

“If you missed them, why haven’t I heard from you?” you counter, pulling back to let your eyes meet his. He returns his eyes to your bare chest, laying another wet kiss to your collarbone. 

“Do you want the answer to that, or do you want me to lie.” he says, pinching your nipple between his fingers. The sting pulls a moan from your chest, and you can feel his smile against your skin. “There she is…”

“Tell me.” you urge, feeling his hand slide down your body to pull your panties to the side. He swipes those same two fingers through your center as he licks his lips, “Mmm, I only like to see you cry when I’m inside you, baby. Pretty black tears just for me, hm?”

“You’re a dick.” you scoff, feeling his fingers circling your clit. You shove his shoulders down and watch him fall against your mattress. His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, squeezing gently with his fingertips. “Watch it…” he pauses, releasing your throat and letting his hand come down to smack against your ass. “Or I'll use that mouth for what it’s good for.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, challenging him. The time apart from him has brought you new confidence, and you’re willing to push him as far as he’ll let you. 

“I see someone has some nerve tonight. Who knew all it took was three seltzers and another woman.” he sneers, showcasing his perfect smile.

“Fuck you, Josh.” you snap. 

“I’m here, just waiting on you.” he says, gripping his base in his fist and sending you a demanding look.

You roll your eyes and look away, feeling your cheeks grow warm and red. 

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry. That was mean. I know I haven’t called, life’s been a little hectic. You’re still my Cherry girl, though, right?” he whispers sweetly from his place beneath you. 

You don’t answer, pressing your center down over his tip, letting him swipe through your wetness. “Hmm? You still my sweet little cherry pie? My little fuckin’ slice of cherry pie heaven?”

“If I was your favorite, don’t you think you would have indulged before now?” you counter, letting yourself slide down over him. He inhales on your descent, his eyes rolling back in his head as a puff of air parts his pink lips. 

His hands grip into your hips, guiding you as you lift yourself off of him, feeling him bottom out with each drop of your hips. He bites his lips together as you move over him, letting his hips thrust upwards to meet yours. “Fuck, Cherry.” he all but groans, and you can’t help but let his praises go straight to your head. You tighten around him, and he notices, letting his eyes meet yours. 

“I forgot you love it when I talk to you. Want me to tell you how pretty you look bouncing on my cock. How much I love your bratty little mouth. Love it more wrapped around me, but you’re pretty like this too.” he says, running his thumb over lips as you feel yourself working up to your orgasm. He pulls your lip down, sliding his thumb past your teeth and inside your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the digit, sucking lightly before he pulls it out and places it directly to your clit. 

You inhale sharply at the contact, practically buzzing with need for release, and as he starts to swirl his thumb, you can’t help the moan that leaves your lips. “Yeah, there we go. That’s my fuckin’ girl. My sweet little Cherry, god I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” The words fall from your lips whether you wanted them to or not, your confession making his cock jump inside of you. “Yeah? You gonna cum for me, sweet thing? Gonna cum bouncing on my cock so pretty and nice?”

“Yeah…” you whine, your eyes screwed shut. He sits up, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you down harder as he fucks up into you, muffled groans leaving his chest from the effort. You twist your hands into the hair at the base of his neck, and you hear him hiss. 

“You wanna cum with me, Cherry?” he pants, his hips never slowing. “Wanna cum with me and let me feel your tight little pussy squeeze me so good?” 

“Yes, yes please. I’m there, just keep talking.” you beg, feeling his sweaty body against yours. 

“Yeah. Yeah of course you do. You always wanna please me, don’t you. Such a good fuckin’ girl. My cherry bomb. You gonna explode for me, right on my cock? Let me see you fall to pieces for me?” his movements are growing jagged, you know he’s only seconds away. With a final squeeze, you do exactly that, falling to pieces around him as he pulls you tightly to him. You feel him, warm inside of you, as your orgasm washes over the two of you. “Josh…” you breathe, his name only a whisper as it enters the air. 

“Fuck yeah, Cherry. Always so good for me. Fucking sweet as pie.” he breathes heavily into your neck, pulling you down to the bed. 

He pulls out of you, the evidence of his release pouring onto your legs with the swiftness of his departure. He stands up, admiring his work as he swipes two fingers through your folds, collecting the remnants of your shared orgasm. He crawls back over you on the bed, bringing his fingers to your lips. 

“I always did prefer a little cream with my pie. How about you, Cherry?” He says, sliding his fingers to the back of your mouth. You gag slightly earning you a pleased smile from his lips. Your lips close around him and he pulls them from you completely with a pop, depositing himself on your tongue. 

Before you can collect a single thought he’s gone to the bathroom and you hear the faucet running. You stand and take a breath, sliding your panties back into place to catch the rest of his release. He emerges from the bathroom, swiping his boxers from the floor, stepping into them with haste as he fishes his jumpsuit from your chair. You watch as he pulls them on, paying no mind to you standing in front of him as he re-dresses. 

When he finally does acknowledge you, he laughs. “Don’t look at me like that, Cherry. You know your precious Jakey is counting the minutes as we speak.”

You roll your eyes, not because he’s right, but because as usual, he has used you for what he wants you for and you let him. “He’s not my precious Jakey. He’s not anything.”

“Sure, Cherry.” he nods, his voice thick with sarcasm. “I’d better be going, don’t want to raise any suspicion, but thank you for a lovely little treat.” he says, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. It’s then you realize that his lips never touched yours at all.

He grabs his keys and his phone from your dresser, sliding them into his pockets as he opens your bedroom door. You pull on a t-shirt as you follow him out, watching him pat Bloo on the head as he reaches for the front door knob. He turns to you and smirks, shaking his head.

“Later, Sunshine.” he winks, and slides through the door. 

JAKE POV

Bloo tugs at his leash, practically dragging you down the street back to his house. You had texted Y/N earlier in the morning to let her know you were picking Bloo up, but she didn’t respond, so you figured she was sleeping in. When you get to the door, you open it quietly, trying to keep Bloo from clambering across the floor and into his water bowl.

You realize it’s useless when you see she’s already awake, sitting on the couch with her laptop. Her hair is in a messy bun, a cup of half finished coffee on the side table. 

“He had a lot of energy today…” you say, bending down to unclip Bloo’s harness as he laps his water bowl. “He practically dragged me home.” 

“Hmm.” She says, still typing, her head in her laptop. “I wonder why.” 

You stand in front of her, a little nervous, fiddling with your keys.

“Maybe, uh… Maybe because the weather’s getting warmer.” It’s a little awkward as you try and find something to say. You feel like you’re bothering her, so you take a step back towards the door. 

“Got a lot of homework?” You ask, not wanting to leave yet, trying to pull a little more out of the conversation.

“A bit… I have to start studying for finals.” She says, leaning over to get her coffee cup. She takes a big sip, not making any moves to get up or acknowledge you.

You hang up Bloo’s leash on the coat rack, sighing deeply. Then, you have a thought.

“You know, if you’re going to be busy next week, I can watch Bloo for a couple days. Put all that stuff I bought him to use.” You offer, smiling softly.

“Oh, no no. I couldn’t ask you to do that. I think I’d get lonely, honestly.” She says, politely declining. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

You nod, lingering at the door. It’s painfully awkward, probably from the lack of resolution and apology after your outburst almost two months ago. It’s pretty clear she wants you to leave, so you reach for the door.

“Well… Let me know if you change your mind.” 

“Thanks, Jake.” She says softly as you leave.

You drive home and shower, taking some time to really think about what you should say to her. It’s time for you to apologize. You miss her like hell and the guilt from talking to her the way you did is weighing on you. 

You decide to text her, trying your luck.

You

2:53pm: Hey. Wanna get that drink tonight? 

2:54pm: I know you have a lot of studying to do. I can write my apology in MLA format if that helps.

Y/N

2:59pm: I could use a drink. But please don’t make me do any more reading. 🙂

You feel your heart leap when she agrees to meet you. There’s still a chance to fix things. 

The two of you make plans for that evening, promising to pick her up at her place around 8. You haven’t ever thought these kinds of discussions went well over dinner; it makes you feel like you’re trapped in the conversation until the bill comes, too much talking to be done which means your food gets cold and neither party has an appetite to begin with. You figure a drink or two will help the conversation along, and hopefully help you blow off a little steam.

She hops into the passenger seat as soon as you arrive, probably having spotted you from the end of the street. It’s a quiet car ride and you haven’t bothered to put on any music. She’s in a pair of high waisted jeans and a cropped button down, casual but beautiful as ever. 

“You look nice.” You offer as you drive, keeping your eyes on the road. It’s a good sign when she offers you a sweet smile, turning to watch you for a few seconds as you drive before thanking you. 

You resist the urge to reach for her hand as you walk from the parking lot to the bar, opting instead to walk a step or two in front of her. You hold the door open as she steps inside.

“Why don’t we go grab that table?” You ask, gently resting your hand on her lower back and leaning close to speak in her ear. She looks over her shoulder at you and nods, seeing the booth in the back corner. 

You watch as she looks at a drink menu, occasionally stealing a glance at you. There’s a little smile on her face as she scans the options, like she can feel you staring. 

“I think I’m going to get a whiskey sour.” she says, looking right at you. She knows you almost always order for her, and here she is telling you what she wants so you can do it again. She wouldn’t do that if she was still that mad at you. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself. 

The server approaches after a few minutes and you pull the trigger, hoping it’s the right move. 

“I’ll have, uh, the All Day IPA, and a whiskey sour for the lady.” You say, giving him a polite nod of your head. He heads off towards the bar and you look back across the table to see she’s got her eyes on the table, fiddling with the cardboard coaster the server left, her cheeks tinged pink.

“So, obviously, I want to apologize. Again.” You start, figuring now is as good a time as any. She lifts her eyes to yours, letting you know she’s listening.

“Clearly I have a bit of a temper… but I’m working on it. I am. I’m sorry I raised my voice at you, and at Bloo. He got his apology already.” That pulls a little smile from her, encouraging you to go on. 

“There’s been some stuff that’s stuck with me from the past. I know I don’t have to explain what Josh is like… but just consider what it’s like to share everything with him, whether I want to or not, for my entire life. The thought of him–” 

“I know. That makes sense.” She nods, like she’s putting herself in your shoes. The server drops off your drinks, not lingering, like he can sense the conversation is heavy.

“I shouldn’t have accused you…” You say, and the sentiment is earnest, but there’s still so much guilt swimming around in your brain after the way you spitefully hooked up with Hayden again. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions because I think I know him and his motives. I know you, too.” 

“I could have explained it all if you would have listened.” She says, looking down into her drink.

“You don’t have to. You didn’t have to. I…” You trail off, shaking your head.

“Listen, it’s… it’s fine. We–”

“I’ve just been stressed and traveling so goddamn much and I miss you. I felt like I was missing out on so much… and that stupid fuckin’ snowstorm got me because all I wanted was to be home with you and Bloo… and instead I was freezing my ass off out in the midwest while you made my asshole brother dinner because I couldn’t be there for you.” You unload, your voice strained, holding back from getting worked up.

“I want to be there for you.” You say, letting the statement hang. 

“You are…” she offers softly, reassuringly. You don’t think you deserve her comfort right now, but you accept it anyway. “Even when you’re away. You still call, you still listen to me talk about my stupid classes and you always care about my day, even if the most exciting part was Bloo stealing food off the kitchen counter. I don’t want you to feel bad. You can’t be too hard on yourself.”

Relief floods your system. Sitting in this bar with her, you realize it’s the best you’ve felt in weeks. 

“I really, really missed you.” You confess, and she blushes under your gaze.

“I missed you too.” She says back, and your heart swells. “You look different.” 

“In a good way?” You ask, quirking one of your brows at her, a little flirty. She grins.

“Yeah, in a good way. Your hair’s getting long.” She says, and it’s enough to make your pants feel a little tighter. It’s been over a month since you’ve seen her, after all. You let the tension settle for a moment as you drink your beer. She follows suit, but as she’s taking the last sip of her drink, shifting the ice around, the cherry garnish falls from the glass onto her shirt. 

“Oh, no…” she says, a pink splotch left on her cream colored shirt. She picks it up with two fingers, putting it on a napkin. She starts to scoot out of the booth. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom really quick. Get some cold water on this…” 

You nod, sitting back in the booth, taking a second to drink your beer and check a few emails. It’s a minute or two before she comes back, but she stands at the edge of the table, not sitting down yet.

“So, I’m asking you before I do this, because I, um… I know it’s a sensitive subject.” She says, laughing a little. You’re not sure where she could be going with this.

“Dave is here and I blew him off walking back from the bathroom. I want to go say hi, but wanted to check with you first.” She has a little smirk on her lips, like it’s a test. You know what you have to say, but you also know what you want to say.

“Fuck that guy, but alright.” You say, chuckling. “I’ll order you another if the server comes around.” 

“I’ll be quick.” She says with a smile before turning over her shoulder. You see him over at the bar now that she’s mentioned he’s here. She approaches and he turns to face her, leaning down to hug her, his arm around her waist. You peel your eyes away, looking back at your phone, trying not to let it bother you. She wouldn’t flirt with him in front of your face. You don’t have to babysit her. 

The server returns to check on you, a welcome distraction, so you order her drink. You ask for an extra cherry since she didn’t get the last one. He walks away and you get back to clearing your inbox. 

That lasts about a minute, your head turning again to watch Dave like a hawk, unable to resist. He’s way, way too close to her. He’s got one of his hands braced on her shoulder, hunched a little to meet her eye level, telling her a story. 

The server comes back, putting down her drink. You crane your neck to see around him as he crosses your line of sight. When you lay eyes on Dave again, he’s looking at her like she’s as good as his. You feel your blood boiling. You know you shouldn’t give in to the way you’re feeling. You just apologized for the umpteenth time about your temper and your jealous tendencies. 

That all goes out the window when you see her accept a drink from him. Did you not just say you were going to get her another while she was gone? He’s buying her drinks like you’re not right across the bar waiting for her. She thanks him with a smile and you can’t take another second of it. 

You stand from the table, tossing a fifty down before walking directly to where they’re standing. You snake an arm under hers, facing away from Dave, speaking lowly in her ear.

“Hey. We’re leaving.”

Her eyes snap to yours in confusion, looking then to the drink in her hand and back towards the table where her new one sat. You see the pieces clicking together in her mind as she places her drink on the bartop. Her eyes flick to Dave who is watching the interaction between the two of you. The smug look on his face hardens your jaw as you wait for her to respond. 

“Oh, ri– right now?” she sputters, licking her lips. 

You look at Dave and then to her, your eyes demanding. “Yeah, right now.”

“No. You can stay if you want, Y/N. I can drive you later.” Dave interjects, and you know any ‘cool’ you’ve been keeping is officially going out the window. 

“Why would she leave with you if she came with me?” you quip, shocked at his audacity. 

“Same reason she’s over here talkin’ to me instead of you.” he counters, sipping from the edge of his glass. 

This fuckin’ guy. “And you think you’re in any condition to drive my girl?” you quip.

“Your girl… That’s interesting, what’s your name again?” he asks, doing his best to be condescending. 

“You know my fuckin’ name.”

“You know what? Shit... You’re right. I do remember you. You’re the guy that brought me lunch.” he snickers. 

“Yeah, I try to do nice things for the less fortunate.”

“Please, you clearly have no idea who I am.” he scoffs, placing his arm around Y/N’s shoulders. She side steps away from him, and you chalk that up as a victory. 

“Jesus Christ, maybe type my name into google and then we can talk.” you jest.

“Just find it strange you call her your girl and yet I never see you around her.”

“You’re right, my job keeps me pretty busy and she knows that. Been out of town working on a custom guitar release with Gibson. Perhaps you’ve heard of them?”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Don’t leave with this fuckin’ guy Y/N. Stay here. We were just starting to have some fun. You know the real party doesn't start until after the tequila shots. Like last time, remember?” he says, raising a brow to Y/N.

You suck your teeth and clear your throat. “You know what, you’re right. Let’s let her decide what she’d like to do.” Your tone is arrogant. You know that she’s leaving here with you, you just want her to tell him that.

“Y/N?” Dave asks, placing a hand on her arm. She pulls away and looks at you. Your eyes are laser focused on her, encouraging her to make the right decision. You see a devilish smile sneak across her face as she turns to Dave. 

“See you in class…”

She slips her hand into your arm as you start to walk away, tossing Dave an eyebrow raise as you go. 

“Quite the little show there, baby.” you growl into her ear as you push the door open. The two of you walk quickly towards your car. “Didn’t particularly enjoy that.”

“What’s wrong Jake? Question yourself there for a second?” she smirks, reaching for the door handle.

“Nah, I knew you were leaving with me.” you answer confidently, sending her a knowing look.

“Did you?” she asks, twisting to face you in her seat. 

You toss her a questioning look, “Should I have been worried?”

“No!” she answers a little too quickly, causing you to laugh. 

You turn the car on, and press the power button on the radio, wanting a little music for your drive home. You pull out into traffic as you wait for your phone to connect, but after a minute or two your eyes flick to the screen to see what the hold up is. Your blood runs cold when you see it trying to connect to ‘Hayden’s iPhone’. Fuck.

Your eyes flash to hers, locked onto the screen in front of you. She looks to you as you sit at the stop light. No words leave her mouth, they don’t have to. You smash the power button turning off the screen.

“Don’t give me that look.” you grumble.

“Just interesting, that’s all.” she says dismissively. 

“Josh takes my car when I borrow his truck. Probably from last time.” you offer, doing your best to not seem bothered, when in reality you know she’s smarter than that. “Don’t try to change the subject, baby. You want to tell me why Dave seemed to think you’d be leaving with him?”

“Not particularly.” she taunts as you turn onto her street.

“Not particularly?” you mock, in faux confusion. “You want to rethink that?”

“Nope, and didn’t realize I was your girl either.” 

“You want me to change my mind?” you quip, pulling to an abrupt stop outside her house. 

“I don’t know, should I?”

You throw the car in park, and snap your fingers as you point towards the house. “Go get your dog and let's go.”

“What?” 

You lean over her lap, throwing the passenger door open so she has no choice but to get out. 

“Go get Bloo, and let’s go.” you say, snapping your fingers in haste.

“Go where?”

“Go, Y/N. I don’t like to wait.” you demand, seeing a small smile pull across her lips as she nods her head. 

Bloo sprints through your front door, barely letting it open as he pushes his way through. You let Y/N step inside and you follow after, flipping the light switches on and locking the door behind you. 

You hear Bloo traipsing around your house like a wrecking ball as you’re making your way to your bar cart. “Now about that drink.”

“What drink?” she asks, dropping her bag at the door. 

“The one you left on the table. Even got an extra cherry for you.”

“Wh-what? Wh-why?” she stutters. 

You send her a confused look, “Because you dropped your first one…”

“Oh! Yeah.” she laughs, sitting down on the couch and tossing her phone to the coffee table. 

“I’ve got Bourbon, Vodka and Gin. Take your pick.” 

“Bourbon? With ice please.” she answers, relaxing into the cushions. 

You toss her a smirk as you carry the two glasses into the kitchen, collecting ice from the freezer. As you return to your living room you see her kicking her shoes off and making herself comfortable on your couch. You pour the liquor into the glasses and make your way to the sofa, taking the seat next to her and handing her the glass. 

“Now, where were we?” you ask, sipping the amber liquid. 

“You were telling me you missed me.” she smirks, bringing the glass to her lips. 

“Mmm, that’s right. I remember now. Want me to tell you again, or do you want me to show you?” you ask, being a little more forward thanks to the alcohol in your system. 

“Can I have both?” she asks, swallowing down the Bourbon. 

“At the same time?” you ask cheekily. 

Her cheeks flush red, “I don’t see the harm.”

Her phone buzzes on the coffee table, and she reaches for it. You sip your drink as you watch her eyes grow wide. You know exactly who it is based on her reaction alone. 

“Let me guess, it’s him.” 

“Who?”

“Dave.” you answer, settling back into the couch. “Tell me what he said, baby. Give me a reason to go back to that bar and beat his ass.”

“Jake…” she whines. 

“Tell me.” you snap.

“He–He asked me if I was still awake.” she answers quietly.

“Mhmm, anything else?” you ask.

Her eyes flick to yours, before locking her phone and putting it down on the coffee table. “No, nothing important.”

“Good answer.” you respond, tossing back the rest of your drink and setting the empty glass on the windowsill. 

“Tell him that I sai–” you stop, your brain quickly redirecting you. “No. You know what? I don’t think it’s him that needs to be told. I think it’s you. You need the reminder. Not him.”

Her eyes grow wide and dark as she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth. 

“Upstairs. Now.” you snap, standing from the couch. She sits there a little stunned at your demand. “Do I need to do it myself?”

She stands quickly, scurrying towards the staircase, “That’s what I thought.”

As you climb the stairs you waste no time at all unbuckling your pants, and pulling your shirt over your head, as you step into the bedroom you’re already naked, leaving a trail of clothing behind you. 

She pulls her shirt over her head and slides her jeans down her legs, revealing the same black lingerie set from Valentine’s Day and you feel your cock jump. “Fucking hell, and he thought–” you pause running your hand over your face. “Get on the bed baby, hands and knees.”

She springs into action, crawling into your bed and positioning herself in the middle. She looks over her shoulder, her hair splayed across her back, as you approach her. You slide your hands over the roundness of her ass, sneaking up her sides and back down again as you press a kiss to her lower back. You smack your hand across her ass cheek, eliciting a groan from her mouth. 

“Yeah? You like that? You like when I’m a little rough with you baby?” your voice deep and gravelly. 

She doesn’t answer, instead wiggling her hips in confirmation, but that’s not what you want. Tonight you want to hear her.

You smack your hand across her ass again, “I asked you a question, baby. It’d be in your best interest to answer me.”

“Yes! Yes, I like it, please, yes I like it.” she whines. 

“Good. Good girl. I like to hear your pretty voice.” you say, smoothing your hand over the red welted flesh. You let your hand slide between her legs, your fingers brushing against the wet fabric at her center. “Oh you do like it, don't you baby? Like it when I tell you what to do…”

“Yes…”

“Yes, what?” you press, sliding your fingers under the black mesh fabric. 

“Oh fuck… yes, Jake. Yes, baby…” she whines. 

“No, no, no, that’s not what I’m looking for tonight. Try again.” you say, flicking a fingertip over her clit. 

“Sir! Yes, sir...” she groans. 

“Yeah, that’s better. Shit, it’s even better from your mouth.” you think out loud. 

“From my mouth, huh…” she challenges, turning to look at you over her shoulder.

“Don’t push me baby, let’s not forget about your little show at the bar.” you say, lowering your face to her center and letting your tongue glide over her folds. 

“Shit…” she whines, her fists gripping into your sheets. 

“Yeah, shit is right. Letting him buy you drinks and touch you like you’re his…” you say with another long wet swipe of your tongue. “But you’re not, are you baby… You’re mine and you know it. Don’t you…”

A groan falls from her lips, her head hanging low between her arms. “Yes… Yes…”

“Yes what? Where are your manners baby?” you ask, delivering a pointed flick of your tongue. 

“Yes, sir…” she whines, your dick throbbing at the tone of her voice. She arches her back and you take advantage, sucking her clit between your lips, hearing her cry out in pleasure. You hum against her, feeling her legs starting to shake.

You pull away from her, tapping her hip. “Lay down baby...”

You let her move to rest on the pillows, crawling forward to meet her as you rest on your knees. “Take this off, wanna see you.” you say, snapping the strap of her bra. She moves her hands beneath her and unfastens the clip before flinging it to the floor. 

“Such a good listener for me, baby. So sweet.” you smile, grabbing her chest in your hands. You rake your hands down her body, hooking her panties between your fingers and sliding them down her legs. “There, that’s better.”

You lean down, pressing a kiss to her throat, as your fingers swirl over her dripping center. She writhes side to side, her need growing by the second. Feeling your own taking over you push yourself back up, and grab your base, positioning yourself to her center. You press the tip into her, seeing her eyes close at the sensation. 

“Eyes on me.” you demand, pulling out of her. Her eyes spring open and you smirk, “Yeah. Just like that baby.”

You press forward again, a little further this time and you watch her struggle to keep her composure. “Feel good? You want more?”

“Yes! Please!” she begs, her brow furrowing with impatience. 

You press further into her, both of you taking a second to get your bearings as you feel each other again for the first time in far too long. “Jake…” she whines, her eyes slipping closed. 

“Eyes, Y/N.” you snap, watching them reopen to meet yours. You pull out of her before slipping back inside, nudging her g-spot. You set the pace, thrusting in and out of her, never letting your eyes leave hers. 

“Tell me you’re mine, Y/N.” you’re breathless, continuing to fuck into her as her tits bounce beneath you. 

“Jake…” she breathes, clenching around you. 

“Say it. Tell me you know you’re my girl.” you demand. “Tell me.”

“I know. I know I’m your girl…” she confesses, a warmth washing over you. 

“Tell me you want to be mine...” you say, delivering another harsh thrust into her. She whines, arching her back. You grab her leg and throw it over your shoulder, pulling her hips up to meet you. The new position has your eyes rolling back and your grip on her hips tightening. 

“Fuck, Y/N…I’m getting impatient. Say it.”

“Why say what you know is true…” she says, tightening around you. 

“Wanna hear you say it.” you answer, rocking your hips into hers. “Say it so you’ll remember.”

You can see she’s struggling to let the words leave her mouth, for what reason you’re not sure, but you know it nonetheless. “You don’t want it? Is that it?”

“No! I do!” she cries out. 

“Then tell me! Fucking say it!” you say, nearing your own release. Your eyes pierce into hers, and you can see it on the tip of her tongue.

“I want it! I want you and only you! I hate it when you’re gone and I can’t stand it when we fight about stupid stuff! I miss you… I’ve hated every second since you left that day. I want you. You know I want you, and you know that I’m yours!” she spews, her words driving you to the edge. 

“Cum, Y/N. Cum with me right now.” you groan, sucking the skin at her neck between your teeth. You feel her tighten around you as you wind your fingers with hers, holding her in place as you empty inside her with a grunt. 

You bury your face into her neck as you both come down, holding her tight and breathing in the smell of sex pouring from her skin. She’s intoxicating as she pants beneath you, the smell of Bourbon lingering on her breath. You connect your mouth to her collarbone, sucking a deep purple mark to the delicate skin, releasing her with a pop. You admire your work, a beautiful shade of pinkish purple a perfect compliment to her skin.

“Did you just brand me?” she giggles. 

“Sure as fuck did. You’re mine.”

HER POV

The night before your first final exam, you’re pulled from your studies by a text from Josh.

Josh

7:49pm: Come over, Cherry girl. I’m lonely. 

You

7:51pm: I have an exam early tomorrow, I’m staying in. Sorryyyyy. 

Josh

7:55: You can stay in. I’m on my way. 

You:

7:56pm: Bedtime in this house is 9pm on a school night, so… 

He doesn’t answer, and 20 minutes later, you hear a knock on your door. You answer, watching as Bloo hops excitedly and whines a little, waiting for some attention from Josh. 

“Hello, hello…” he says, scratching between Bloo’s ears. He gives him a smile, then looks up at you. Your hair is a bit of a mess and you’re in an old, holey t-shirt from some charity 5k you ran in highschool. He raises his eyebrows like he’s about to say something smart.

“You invited yourself over. You knew what you were getting yourself into.” You say, pulling your hair down. “I had plans to pamper myself before finals week kicks my ass. You can watch or participate, up to you.” You say, leaving Josh and Bloo at the door. 

“I’m really more of a hands-on guy. You know that.” He says with a grin, untying his shoes and leaving them at the door. 

You start the shower, pulling some body scrub and a face mask from your medicine cabinet. You hear some murmuring coming from your bedroom, but you can’t really make it out over the sound of the shower. Leaning out to peek from behind the door frame, you see Josh tugging his white, long sleeve t-shirt off, folding it carefully and laying it on the edge of the bed. 

“It’s white, so, you know, don’t lay on it or anything.” He’s talking to Bloo like he’s a person. He unzips his pants and once they’re off, he puts them on top of the shirt. “Can’t have all your little hairs on my stuff.” You can’t help but giggle as you pop back into the bathroom, not wanting him to catch on to the fact you were eavesdropping on their very serious conversation. 

Josh enters the bathroom in his briefs as you’re putting on your face mask, the bathroom steaming up as you let the hot water run. 

“Come here,” you say with a smile, hopping up to sit on the counter. He stands between your legs, giving the pot of gray sludge in your hands a skeptical glance. Not missing it, you jump at the opportunity to remind him. “You said you’d participate.” You swipe two fingers into the mask and hold it up in front of him.

“This wasn’t what I thought I was agreeing to.” He says, closing his eyes as you put some on each cheek, then his forehead.

“Be a good sport.” Once you’ve covered his forehead, you move to his cheeks. “Open your eyes a little. I don’t wanna get it on your long, luscious eyelashes.” You say, laughing softly. He opens them only slightly, his gaze downcast.

“The fuck is that?”

“It’s a face mask.” You swipe across his skin again. 

“No, no...” he says, lifting a hand and pressing his thumb to your collarbone. “This.” It’s tender to the touch, the spot where Jake left his mark on your skin. You sigh and roll your eyes. 

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”

After a long, hot shower where Josh mostly watched you exfoliate, shave, and deep condition your hair, the two of you step out of the shower. Your reflections are nothing more than two blobs, the steam rendering the mirror completely useless. His message still lives in the upper right corner, and he smirks when he spots it. 

You head into your bedroom, gathering something very specific to wear as he helps himself to a pair of sweatpants like he owns the place. Between the two of them, you barely have any loungewear left. You close the bathroom door again, taking a few minutes to slip on the cherry patterned lingerie he bought you for Valentine’s day. You tie your satin robe overtop, then brush out your hair. Carefully, you french braid it into two pigtails, tying the ends neatly with two matching pink elastics you managed to dig out of your drawer. 

When you step out, you sit at your vanity and start on a more intense version of your nighttime skincare routine, knowing the stress of the week will not be kind to your complexion. You put on a little music as you begin, the clinking of the little bottles and clicking of the caps the only other sound in the room. Josh is resting against the headboard, presumably doing his crossword. 

Once you’re through with the toners and serums and creams, you put them on the silver tray where they usually live and stand, bringing it over to the bed. You give him a little smile, kneeling on the bed and inching towards him. He locks his phone and looks down at what you have.

“What do all these little vials do anyway?” he asks, sitting up a little to check them out. “Is that a rock?”

“It’s a Gua Sha. Here. I’ll show you when I’m done.” You answer, looking them over as well, picking out what you need to start. 

“What are you gonna do to me?” He asks, playfully skeptical.

“Make you pretty…” you answer sweetly, gently pushing the wet curls at the front of his head, which have been a little loose lately, out of his face. He hums as if your response is questionable.

“I’m already pretty.” 

You laugh softly and start to wipe him down with some toner on a cotton pad.

“That’s- ahh. That’s cold,” he grumbles, closing his eyes. You smile as he pouts softly, his plush lips so kissable, almost calling out to you. It’s been so long since you kissed him- the last time you saw each other, he hadn’t had the time. 

You can’t help yourself as you lean forward, bracing yourself over him, taking him by surprise with a gentle kiss. He responds with a little hum, his lack of objection spurring you on to kiss him a little more deeply. He responds in kind, his tongue swiping across yours, the taste of him familiar and sweet. You straddle him, unable to hold yourself back at this point, and you feel him smile against your lips. He slides his hands up your thighs, under your robe, feeling the panties you’re wearing. He pauses for a moment, and you take the opportunity to break the kiss, moving to suck gently at his neck. 

When he moves again, he lets out a shaky breath, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips as he pulls you down against his hardened length. You can feel him, heavy and thick, your mesh panties and his sweatpants the only layers between the two of you.

“Weren’t you supposed to be ‘making me pretty,’ Cherry?” he asks, his hand softly rubbing your back as you taste his skin. You feel his throat buzz against your lips when he speaks.

“Mmm, sorry,” you mumble against him, grinding your hips down into his again. “Got distracted.” You say quietly, sitting up and taking a steadying breath. You reach down to grab the next serum to go on pampering him. Clearing your throat, you unscrew the bottle.

“So I just put toner on your face,” you start. “It basically just wipes away any oils or bacteria on your face before you put the other stuff on, since you don’t want to trap it under thicker products. This one has glycolic acid so it exfoliates a little too.” 

He hums in acknowledgement as you squeeze the top of the bottle to suck up some of the clear liquid. 

“This one is niacinamide, which is for tightening and brightening. I use it because it minimizes pores and reduces my redness,” you explain, squeezing the dropper to place some on his forehead and each of his cheeks. He has a little smile on his face as you gently rub it in, your thumbs on his cheeks.You can’t help but enjoy the opportunity to touch him so gently, so intimately like this. 

When you stop rubbing it in, he opens his eyes slowly.

“Think you might need a little more. You’re looking pretty flushed.” He says, a knowing lilt to his voice. You shrug with a smirk, tightening the cap on the bottle in your hands and putting it back with the others. 

“Maybe… I don’t know if it’ll help, though. You just have this way about you that gets me all… incensed,” you say, stroking his ever-present ego. 

“Yeah? You want another kiss, my sweet Cherry?” He says with a devilish grin. 

“I mean…” you start, tugging at the tie around your waist gently. “I should wait a minute before I move on to the next one.” You let the front of your robe fall open and he lays eyes on the lace and cherries adorning your body. 

“Oh.” He says, a little dumbstruck as his eyes try to decide where to land. He pulls you in by the back of your neck, this time his tongue immediately darting out to lick along your bottom lip. You feel your stomach flip, a moan escaping your throat as you buck your hips against his again. 

He groans, pulling you forward and off of him with a palm on your ass. You whine against his mouth at the loss of friction, but it only takes you a second to realize he’s tugging at his sweatpants, pulling them down just enough to free himself and press his cock against your thin panties. You let out an open-mouth sigh, breaking the kiss, reveling in the feeling of him against you. He lets you have your moment, kissing him to your heart’s desire, until he loses his patience. He lifts you again, deftly moving your skimpy panties to the side, pushing his hips upwards until the tip of him is inside you. 

Before you can stop yourself, you sit up and sink down over the length of him, a whine tearing through the back of your throat. You immediately grind your hips against his, but he stills you with a tight grip. 

Confused, you try to bounce a little, but he stops you again. He lifts his eyes to yours, slowly, before he speaks.

“Weren’t you in the middle of something?” 

His voice is calm. Too calm. You let out a breathy laugh, rolling your eyes before you attempt to seek out some type of friction, your thighs squeezing around his hips and torso. He holds you in place with such strength you’re sure you’ll have bruises from his merciless fingertips digging into your skin.

“I mean it.” He says lowly, his face deadly serious.

“Josh…” you whine quietly, feeling yourself clench around him, desperate for more. 

“I think you can wait a little longer.” He says, letting go of your hips to reach for your robe. He slips it off your shoulders and tosses it by the wayside. Once it’s out of his way, he folds his hands on his chest and looks at you expectantly. “Go on.”

You feel like you’re about to explode. You’re so full, but at the same time, he isn’t stimulating you one bit. You catch your breath, trying to recenter yourself. Shaking your head, you gather what little composure you can and reach for the next bottle. 

Opening it gently, you try to stay as still as you can. Your eyes flicker between the bottle and Josh’s eyes, half-lidded and a little lazy. Clinking the dropper against the rim, you get rid of any excess before moving it toward his face. 

“Aren’t you going to tell me about it first?” He asks in a whisper. You sigh, then nod, your hips shifting forward slightly of their own accord. He places a gentle, reminding hand on your thigh. 

“This,” you begin, taking a deep breath, “is hyaluronic acid. It’s, um… It’s kinda sticky at first.” He hums like a smartass as if he’s intrigued. Another deep breath powers your next sentence.

“It’s moisturizing and…” You trail off, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment, your brain powering down. He reaches up to you, stroking a thumb over your cheek tenderly.

“Stay with me, sweet Cherry,” he coos. “Tell me more.” 

“It helps your skin to be more… flexible… soyoudon’tgetfinelines.” You finish quickly, steeling yourself with your eyes squeezed shut now. You pause for a moment, making sure you can control yourself before moving to place the droplets on his face. You’re aching for him, dying to feel him move against the sweet spot the head of his cock is pressed to, so deep inside. 

You begin to gently rub the serum in circles on his cheeks. You move to his forehead, which is a little further away, meaning you have to lean forward to reach. It’s barely a fraction of an inch that moves within you, but when you feel the tiny, delicious bit of friction, it’s enough to pull a desperate moan from you against your will. 

You sit up straighter, pulling your hands to your chest so as to not spill the open bottle in your hands. 

“You hanging in there?” He asks, reaching up to playfully pinch at your nipple through the mesh bra he so thoughtfully chose for you. You shake your head no, pouting as he pulls the thin cup of the bra down to free your breast. 

“Poor thing,” he murmurs, reaching to do the same to the other. “Lean back a little for me.” 

You do as he asks, bracing yourself on his knee as you do. His eyes focus in on your center, his hand sliding up your thigh. 

“So pretty… So wet… You’re dripping onto the bedsheets, messy girl...” he remarks, his hand trailing up further. He barely brushes his thumb over your clit, pulling a punched moan from you as you double over.

“Josh, please…” You cry out, but he moves his hand back to your thigh. He gives it a gentle tap.

“C’mon. You’re almost there. You’re doing so well.”

“Just let me move a little,” you beg, trying to convince him. “Just a little and then I can keep going. Please, Josh…”  You can feel your legs starting to shake, your walls fluttering around him. “Just for a second.” You’re so frustrated you feel tears start to build at your waterline. 

“Look at me.” His voice is soft, a little rasp to it.

You obey immediately, your head lifting and your eyes locking on his. He watches as a tear drops from your eye and you feel his cock twitch inside you. He groans, cursing under his breath.

“So fucking pretty...” He remarks quietly. “Crying and begging to be fucked.” 

He lifts a hand, reaching to wipe your tear away. You let out a frustrated, bratty grunt and shake your head, pulling away from his hand. He quickly grabs your jaw, his blunt fingertips pressing into your cheeks.

“Tell me what’s next.” 

You breathe and try to focus again, your eyes shifting to the clinking bottles on your comforter. He lets go of your face and lets you get back to work.

“Retinol. Anti-aging.” You squeak out, pumping some of the gold-tinted liquid onto his skin. You put the cap on and toss it to the wayside before gently rubbing it into his skin. 

Once you’re done, you pick up the last step, your moisturizer. You open the cap and put some onto your fingers, dotting it along his skin in stoic concentration. You rub it in gently before you start to speak again.

“That… was just moisturizer. Okay? You’re… you’re done. Please don’t make me use the gua sha. It takes like ten minutes…” you whine, gently stroking his forehead and cheeks. He chuckles, which causes him to barely shift, but it’s enough to pull a choked sob from you, doubling you over to groan into his neck. 

He kisses your cheek, your temple, wherever he can find purchase. He wraps his arms around your waist, holding you still and close to him. He thrusts slowly upwards, lifting you, giving him some range of motion to pull out of you at an agonizingly slow pace.

“God, Cherry… you’re so wound up.” He says into your ear. You place a wet kiss to his pulse point, letting your lips linger. You feel his heartbeat, which despite the speed at which he’s torturing you, is up to par with yours. 

“You’re tight as a drum, fluttering around me,” he muses, letting out a shaky breath as he pushes back inside you at a glacial pace. Despite his lack of speed, you’ve been waiting so long you can already feel yourself approaching your end. 

“Joshua,” you warn, your voice strained.

“Oh, we’re getting biblical? I like it,” he says arrogantly before snapping his hips up into you. You let out a cry so loud it makes Bloo bark from outside the door, convinced you’re in danger. 

“I’m so close,” you squeak out, feeling how tense your body is, like you’re about to explode into stardust at any moment.

“Mmm, I can feel it…” he answers, encouraging you to sit up with a gentle nudge. You do so, reveling in the freedom you have to move. You don’t hesitate to circle your hips, letting your head fall back as you take him as deep as you possibly can. You lift your head to look at him again and you’re met with a furrowed brow, his face full of concentration, like his only care in the world at this very moment is getting you off. He meets your eyes, catching you staring, and shoots you a smirk. 

“Stop moving.” He says, and you can’t help the disappointed groan that leaves your chest. “Be patient and lean back again.” He commands, and you do as he says once more. 

He brings his hand back between you, slipping his fingers under the pretty fabric of your panties. He presses his thumb back to your clit, this time drawing gentle circles, knowing you’re incredibly sensitive. You buck your hips forward, but he shakes his head.

“Stay still, baby. Can you cum like this?” He asks, still touching you softly. You can only muster up a nod as your jaw falls slack. You’re so, so close. You can’t control the way your hips shift, your back arching, your eyes rolling back. 

When it hits you, it hits you as hard as he intended when he decided to torture you almost half an hour ago. Your legs shake as you constrict around him, your release soaking him and the bedsheets below. 

“There it is,” he praises, his eyes as wide as saucers as he watches you try to keep still. His voice is strained, like he’s barely hanging on himself. “Give it to me, Cherry. I want it all.” His name claws its way out of your throat, a sound you know will have you hoarse in the morning as you sit down for your final and thank the proctor when they hand you the exam. 

He lifts your hips, finally fucking up into you, his mouth falling open as he tugs at one side of your delicate panties, twisting them around his hand and pulling for leverage. You’re too sensitive, your body crying for mercy as he pounds up into you.

“Cum for me, Josh. Please...” You beg, your voice soft and hoarse.

“I’m not done, Cherry.” He says, and you can hear the arrogance in his voice, reveling in the fact that he knows it’s not what you want to hear. Your thighs squeeze tightly around his hips, almost trying to hold him in place or at the very least, slow him down.

“You gonna cry again, sweet thing?” He grunts out through gritted teeth. “Or are you going to show some… fuck… gratitude now that I’m giving you what you wanted so badly?” 

You brace yourself on the palms of your hands, gripping the sheets of your bed as he sends your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Seeing you fucked out brings a filthy smirk to his perfect lips.

You moan his name, the pitch wavering with each fierce blow he delivers to your cervix. Despite the way he’s ruthlessly trying to tear you in two, you feel a pulsing, building need in you, making you delirious with need. 

“You feel so fuckin’ good, Cherry. Can’t get enough of you. Best I ever had…” he confesses, breathless, his words drenched in sex and honesty. His statement lights something up in your brain and you can’t help what tumbles out of your mouth.

“Better than her?” You ask, your voice coming out slightly broken. 

“Oh, Cherry…” he says, slowing his pace, the drama in his voice making you worry about what his next words will be. 

“She’s nothing compared to you.” 

The way he says it is confident, definite, as if his word is final and he doesn’t expect you to mention her ever again. He takes a deep breath, using it to push him on and pound into you again. 

It’s too much at once, the pleasure and pain pushing your limits- you want it to end but somehow need to follow wherever it leads. 

“Josh, Josh, baby…” you cry out, against his lips, your hips starting to meet his on their own accord. The pet name pulls a new sound out of him, almost a growl, that reverberates heavy in the pit of your stomach. It’s enough to bend you to his will and send your eyes rolling back as your release soaks him and the sheets beneath. He feels it before he hears it, snapping down to watch.

“That’s my girl, that’s my fuckin’ girl Cherry…” he breathes. With a final groan, he spills inside you, holding you still once more to feel the twitch of his cock as he does. 

You collapse onto his chest, your head buried in the crook of his neck. You listen to the beat of his heart as it slows, holding him close. It’s a few minutes before he speaks softly. 

“Get up, Cherry girl.” He says, patting at your thigh. “Back in the shower.”

The morning comes too soon after you finally get to sleep. After a shower, a team effort changing your sheets, and a midnight snack, the two of you fell asleep curled up in your bed. You silence your alarm as it rings, sneaking out of bed and tiptoeing into the bathroom.

You’re able to undo your braids and shake your hair loose, swiping on some mascara and chapstick before sneaking through the room once more. Bloo doesn’t notice you’re leaving, snoring softly in his bed. You figure he’ll wake Josh up when he has to go out, and Josh will be able to figure out what he needs.

The ride to campus is a little longer than you anticipated, the light drizzle of rain making everyone’s feet a little brake-heavy. As you finally get to the parking garage, you pull up your hood and dart across the street into the building. 

You silence your phone, putting it on DND in the focus where nobody can get through. You don’t need to risk getting distracted or getting failed because one of your friends decided to hit notify anyway.

The room is quiet as you take your exam. It’s raining and there’s a little bit of thunder, but you Josh might have remembered the time you brought Bloo’s thunder jacket to his house… If not, you figure you’ll be out soon enough and Josh will keep him company in the meantime. 

When you finish your exam, you slip out of the room quietly after putting the packet on the desk in the front of the room. Wanting to get home to Bloo, you head directly to the garage, fishing out your keys and hopping into your car. You pull out your phone once you’re settled and safe from the rain, wiping the water off the screen. 

When you unlock your phone, you see you have 22 missed calls from Josh. 

You wonder what the hell could have happened while you were gone. Was Bloo that anxious? Shaking your head, you call him back, and he answers on the first ring. 

“Hey, uh... So… Are you finished with your exam?” He asks, sounding serious.

“I just finished and got in the car. Is everything okay?” 

“Well, no. You see, the dog woke me up and was crying so I let him outside, which like, I thought was the right thing to do. But then after a few minutes I looked out there and he was just gone.” 

“WHAT?” You shout, panic seeping through your entire body. “Are you out looking for him?!”

“I mean, he knows he lives here, right? He’ll come back…” He says, and you realize you don’t hear the wind or rain in the background. He’s just sitting in the house. 

“GO LOOK FOR HIM! You let him out in the RAIN, you know he’s afraid of storms!” You say, peeling out of the parking garage as tears blur your vision. 

“How was I supposed to know that?” He asks defensively, and you feel like you could explode then and there. So you do.

“Don’t you remember the time Jake called and asked about going over to put on his thunder shirt? Or the time I brought him to your house because I couldn’t leave him alone in the storm?” You ask, scolding him. You swerve through lanes, driving recklessly in the rain as the people you pass honk and flip you off.

“Okay, listen, I don’t think you should really be blaming me here because I didn’t put your dog’s coat on before he went outside and he bolted. It’s not like I let him out of the yard on purpose.” 

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself.

“Go outside and look for him. Bring the box of treats and shake it around. Call his name. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” 

You hang up before he can say anything else to piss you off. 

As you drive through your neighborhood, you look around every yard, every driveway, every inch of sidewalk. You eventually pull up to the house and he’s standing on the porch, the box of treats on the railing.

“You didn’t think to leave the yard?!” You shout, slamming your car door. The rain is starting to pick up and you hear thunder rumble overhead. He rolls his eyes like you’re overreacting and that’s the last straw.

“Just go. Go home, I’ll find him.” You say, tears mixing with the rain pouring down your face. “You’re not helping and he doesn’t like you so he’s probably not going to come back if he hears you calling.” You snap, heading toward the front sidewalk to call his name as loud as you can. Josh doesn’t say another word, either because he’s realized he screwed up, or because he just doesn’t care enough. He pulls up in front of you after he backs out of your driveway, rolling down his window.

“Text me when you find him. And go put a jacket on.” 

“Yeah, sure.” It’s your turn to roll your eyes. You watch as he drives down the street, leaving you out in the rain, crying as you walk up and down the street searching for your best friend. 

Once you see his tail-lights disappear you pull your phone from your pocket, tapping Jake’s contact and letting it ring in your ear as you continue to call for Bloo. 

“Hey baby, how was your exam?” he asks, his voice relaxed and quiet. 

“Jake!” you panic, “Bloo got out! He’s missing and it's raining and–”

“You at home?” he asks, and you can hear him rustling around in the background.

“Yes! I’ve been calling him and looking for him for twenty minutes but he’s just gone!” you answer, shaking the treat box as thunder claps in the distance. “Fuck! He’s probably so scared I–”

“I’ll be there in five, hold tight, keep looking.” he says, ending the call. You shove your phone in your pocket and head down the sidewalk, checking your neighbors porches for any signs of your terrified dog. 

It seems like he appears almost immediately, his black Jeep screeching to a halt in front of your house as he calls to you from the driver’s window. “Y/N!”

You run towards his car, the passenger door opening as you reach for it. He hands you a towel as you shut the door, and you’re grateful for his thoughtfulness. 

“Figured you’d be soaked.” his eyes full of sympathy. “What happened?” he asks, taking off down the street, calling through his open window. 

“I don’t know. He was outside and then he was gone!” you answer, which you know isn’t technically a lie. 

“Why didn’t you call me immediately?” he asks, almost sounding offended. You know you can’t tell him the truth, so you lie.

“I didn’t think he was really gone! I thought he’d come right back!” you say, finding it hard to believe yourself.

“Has he ever done this before? Do you have any idea which way he went?” he asks, head snapping from side to side as the windshield wipers put in overtime.

“No! I’ve never given him the opportunity! I can’t believe he escaped.” you answer, a tear streaking from your eye. 

“Fuck, don’t cry baby. We will find him. He’s okay.” he says, laying a warm comforting hand on your leg. You shake beneath his touch and instantly feel like trash for taking advantage of the kindness you didn’t deserve from him. 

“I guess I just don’t understand? Didn’t you just get home from your exam? You said it ended at 4? It’s only just 4:30.” he asks, and you panic. 

“Yeah, we– they let us leave when we finished. We didn’t have to wait.” You hate lying to him, every single one that leaves your lips slicing you like a knife. 

“So you got home, let him out and he ran away? That just doesn’t seem like him. Bloo wouldn’t do that.” he says, and you feel even worse that he understands Bloo’s mannerisms.

“I know, I know. He–” you feel yourself starting to cry again. “We have to find him. I hate this.”

“I knew I should have taken him this week. Dammit! I should have been persistent.” he scolds himself, slamming his hand against the steering wheel. The worst part is that you know he’s right. If you’d let him take Bloo this would’ve never happened. He wouldn’t have ever let him out of his sight.

Your own selfishness caused this. You debate telling him the truth. Telling him that his brother was at your house. That he was watching Bloo instead of him. But you know it would crush him, and you can’t fathom the thought of not only losing Bloo, but losing him, too. 

“I know. I’m sorry…” you cry, letting the tears spill over again.

The two of you drive until the sky goes dark, checking every alleyway, every street, every abandoned lot for any sign of him, but you come up empty. 

“I’m sorry, baby…” Jake says, putting the car in park in front of your house. “I know he will turn up. I wish we could keep looking. I wish I didn’t have that fucking interview at 5 AM, I’d stay out all night I swear.”

“It’s okay, I get it. You have a job to do, it’s not your fault.” you say, gripping his hand as it rests on your leg. 

“Maybe I– Maybe I can call Josh and see if he will take the interview so I can stay and help you look.”

“No! No, it’s okay. I’m just gonna drive around for a little longer, check a few apps and facebook and see if anyone has seen him.” you say, hoping to diffuse that bomb.

“You sure? I’ll call him right now.” he says, grabbing his phone. 

“Yes.” you answer, “Thank you for offering, and thank you for helping me already. I– I’m happy you were here with me.” you say, hoping he realizes you mean it.

“Of course, baby. You call me if he shows up, okay? You promise?” his eyes pleading with you.

“I promise.”

After Jake leaves, you head inside and change into dry, warm clothes. You sit down on the couch and search through the neighborhood facebook groups to see if anyone has said a word about a missing dog throughout the day. You make a pot of coffee because you know you’ll be up all night. You can’t seem to stop crying. 

Your phone starts to ring, so you jump to answer it, your voice full of hope. “Hello?!” 

“Cherry, hey. I found him.” 

The moment Josh gets back with Bloo, you fly out the front door to meet them. You bring his leash, clipping it to him immediately as he jumps out of the front seat.

He’s soaking wet, his ears pinned down, his tail between his legs. He’s terrified and cold and you cry even harder at the sight of him, kneeling down to hug him close. 

You look up at Josh, who is standing in the rain, guilt covering his features.

“M’sorry.” He says, reaching down to pet Bloo’s head. 

“It’s… it’s fine. Whatever. I don’t care right now.” You say, wiping your eyes as you smile at Bloo, grabbing his snout and planting a big kiss to it. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again, mister. You’re all I have out here.” You say, a little sob leaving your chest despite the smile you’re giving him, looking into his beady little eyes. 

“Come on, let’s get you inside. Both of you.” Josh says, helping you to stand. You look into his truck before you let him close the door and see the passenger seat is all wet, covered in mud and grass and dog hair. 

“Sorry about your seats. I’ll clean them, I–”

“It’s fine, Cherry. Don’t sweat it.” He says, shutting the door and guiding the two of you inside. 

You get inside, leading Bloo to the bathtub since he’s covered in mud from the rain. As the water runs, you pull out your phone, sending Jake a text. 

You

9:32pm: Hey- I found him. He’s safe at home, getting a bath as we speak. Thank you for your help. Good luck with your interview tomorrow. 🐾 ❣️

Josh stands by as you give Bloo a warm bath, taking it upon himself to wash off his collar under the water in the sink. He dries it off carefully, laying it down on the counter. When you’re finished, you ask him to hand you the towel, but instead he holds it out, calling Bloo towards him. 

You realize you probably hurt his feelings when you said bloo doesn’t like him. You watch as he dries Bloo off gently, making sure to get his legs and paws, then gently drying his ears one by one. He gives Bloo a little smile when he’s done, reaching for his collar. He clips it back into place carefully. 

“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you something to eat.” You say, calling for Bloo to follow you. 

“You mind if I borrow something to wear while I toss my stuff in the dryer?” Josh asks softly, and you tell him to go ahead, scooping some food into Bloo’s bowl. 

He starts to eat, the chomping of his food and the clanging of his tags against the bowl ringing out so loudly through the kitchen, you don’t hear the sound of keys in the door. 

You do, however, hear it open. You whip around to see Jake in the doorway. He’s in a pair of plaid pajama pants, a holey, worn out Black Sabbath t-shirt, and his glasses. It looks like he hopped straight out of bed, not even bothering to put in his contacts.

He stands in the doorway, his stare icy cold, full of hurt and anger. You know he must have seen Josh’s truck in the driveway.

“Where is he?” 

Your eyes look down at Bloo, then you gesture a little in his direction.

“He’s fine.” 

“Not him.” He spits at you, and it’s clear you’re absolutely screwed. “I should have turned around and gone home the second I saw his truck, but I just had to see for myself. So I let myself in.” 

Before you can respond, you see movement out of the corner of your eye. You turn towards your bedroom door to see Josh step out, now fully dressed in a long sleeve black t-shirt. The logo on the chest gives away that it’s Jake’s Paul McCartney shirt that Bloo hid away months ago. You put it in your drawer for safekeeping and Josh must have helped himself to it. 

Bloo steps out of the bedroom behind him, sitting at his feet. He doesn’t even go over to greet Jake. 

“You’re fucking joking.” Jake says, the disappointment clear on his face.

“He– he was just helping me since you had to go to bed, he was–he was driving around and he found him and…” You sputter, and you can feel your pulse everywhere. This is very, very bad. 

“Cut the shit. What the fuck is going on?” Jake says, raising his voice now.

You look to Josh as you wring your hands, hoping he’ll back you up, plead your case, affirm your alibi…anything. 

Instead, he just laughs.

He grins smugly at you, then his twin, before he speaks.

“Fair is fair, my brother.” 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Taglist: @thunderstomp-and-tequila@farfromthehomelands@takenbythemadness@lyndz2names@brujamagik@overtheehillsandfaraway@gretavanfan@ohgodthefeeling-gvf@slightly-russian@gracev0609@sammiboo162@jakekiszkasmommy@jaketkiszkalover@everyglowinthetwilightknows@literal-dead-leaf@ghostly--photography@aintthatapity @wildbluesorbit@heckingfrick@jjwasneverhere@jaketlove@gingerbread-in-july@josh-iamyour-mama@brinlygvf@silverwitch23@allmylovejk@joshrry@jarmonicasweat@writingcold@jaketlove@earthgrlsreasy@vanfleeter@justdamnpeachy@gretas-sweat @jjwasneverhere@digitalnomadz@overtheehillsandfaraway@jakekiszkasmommy @justdamnpeachy@gracev0609 @meetingthestardust @discoh3aven @char289 @joopsenthusiast @scoreofinfantryvines @milkgemini

@weneedsomehealing123@reesetrippingthelight@wetkleenex-gvf@fulltimecynical@ageofbajabule@ageofsinners@indigostreakslut@ohgodthefeeling-gvf@joshskittytickler@mp0801@starcatcherry@samsbirks@darianh07@cassiesgreta@becinabubblegvf@hanntisocial@demonrat444@mrbrownstne@gretabyss@bizzielisteningtogreta@jakes-archer@laneygvf@jaketsword@hangvf@indigostreakmorgan

Tags: @gretavansara@jordie-gvf-admin@starshine-wagner@eyelinerjake@gretavanfvckface @gretavanmoon@fretaganvleet@gvfpal@joshkiszkas@ascendingtostardust@raviolilegs@sammysprincess@objectsinspvce@lallisonl@jaketlover@violet-hayes@jakemarrymeibeg@fakeplastiqtree@radmads-gvf@fwzco@katelynn-gvf@writingcold@jakesgrapejuice@jakekiszkasbabymama@emsfallingsky@gretavanbear@ejoygvf@beebloopbleep@mackalah

[devilat-thedoor]

what happened to what is and what never should be?? i need itttttt

i’m slowly, but surely, getting it finished! i got hit with a god awful cold this past week and i was down for the count. but as of this morning, i’m finally starting to feel better😌 i promise, i’m working on it. but until then, maybe enjoy some of my current favorite/comfort fics🩵

Sémillante - @profitofthedune (literally running to read the newest chapter as soon as i finish this ask. i need it all the time, everyday)

Vigilance - @gretavangroupie @gretavanmoon (pretty sure everyone has read this and if you haven’t…..get a grip🤦🏽‍♀️ i’ve never been so sad to see a story end, it’s my number one comfort fic) P.S. Coda outtake. nothing further….

Skin Deep & Boys of Summer - @streamingcolors-gvf (incredible AUs, immaculate smut and just overall insanely beautiful writing)

Cruel Summer - @sacredstarcatcher (i think this is the one that really cemented me in forbidden twin lane😳)

All My Love - @losfacedevil (owwie. only one part right now but fuck….Crystal knows how to bring the pain😢)

Give Me All You Got - @alwaysonthemend (i’ve said it before, i’ll say it a million more times. read this. it’s burned into my brain)

Keep Silent - @stardustvanfleet (you can’t even begin to imagine the extent of the filth liana is capable of…. but it’s a good start)

there’s more, i know there is. i’m gonna have to make an entire fic rec list. but for now, enjoy these talented babes😌

[sacredstarcatcher]

I’m honored! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[gretavangroupie]

Kismet (Chapter 6)

Pairing: Josh x Reader, Jake x Reader

Word Count: 18.6k

Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol Consumption, Drug Use, Fluff. Angst: Verbal Sparring, Light Degradation, Lying, Arguing, Jealousy, Guilt, Heartbreak, Manipulation Themes. Smut: Kissing, Teasing, Fingering F!Receiving, Oral F!Receiving, Oral M!Receiving, Unprotected Penetrative Sex, Rough Sex, Voyeurism, Public Sex.

This series is a special collaboration with my best buddy @sacredstarcatcher. If you haven't checked out her previous work Cruel Summer, be sure to add it to your reading list. If you would like to be added to the taglist for this series, please follow this link!

NOVEMBER

JAKE POV

You sent the message to her knowing there was a chance she wouldn’t respond. You didn’t exactly deserve a response after how you treated her that night. It had been practically silent between the two of you for weeks now, just a few pictures here and there. She still invaded your every thought, your every dream, and you’d ruined any chance of it ever being more than that with your petulant jealousy. Nearly thirty minutes had passed since you sent the text, and with no response, you knew you needed to face the reality that she may never text back again.

Though to your surprise, your phone buzzed on the nightstand as you laid in your childhood bed, sulking in your misery, the TV droning on in the background of some movie you couldn’t name. Your stomach lurched into your chest as you heard it, immediately snatching it from the charger.

Y/N

1:08am: Are you still awake?

You

1:09am: I am… Late night?

Y/N

1:10am: Yeah, packing to go home for the break. Sorry it took me so long to respond.

You

1:11am: That’s okay. I just want to talk, Y/N. I miss you. I’m really sorry. I know I was out of line.

You see the text bubble pop up, blinking for a few seconds before watching it disappear. Your heart plummets wondering if she's going to reply, and as you start to type another message your phone vibrates in your hands. A smile crosses your face as you see her contact photo filling your screen. Her and Bloo with their faces pushed together on her couch, your favorite smile in the world. You hit the green button and clear your throat. “Hello?”

“Hey.” she answers, her voice sweet and quiet. 

“Hey baby…” you breathe, feeling your body relax from just the sound of her voice. 

“I know it’s late, I just… don’t want to have this conversation over text.” 

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I’m just laying in bed trying to tell myself I’m tired.” you laugh. 

“You in Michigan?” she asks, a little louder than a whisper. 

“Yeah, for a few days. We’re all here…What about you, you said you’re going home for break?” you ask, genuinely curious of her plans. 

“Yeah, I leave in the morning with Bloo to drive to my mom’s. Gonna stay with her for a few days before I come back for finals.” she answers.

“How’s Bloo? Does he miss me?” you ask, letting a small laugh leave your lips. 

“Mmm…I think he does. He’s starting to mope around less though, so I think that’s a good sign.”

“He’s forgotten about me.” you sigh. 

“Nooo. No he hasn’t. He couldn’t.” she giggles. 

“Y/N…” you start, wondering how you’re going to piece together this apology.  “I’m sorry for how I acted that night. I shouldn’t have said those things. I had a shitty night and I drank too much... I know that’s no excuse, but it’s the truth. I miss you so fucking bad. All I think about is the next time I’ll get to talk to you. So seeing you out with Dave, doing what I wanted to be doing with you, just…I don’t know, it struck a nerve. I know I have no right to feel like that, I just want to tell you the truth, because that’s what you deserve. I’m really sorry for acting like that and I hope you can forgive me.”

“Jake, I…I miss you too…” she trails off. You can tell there's more she wants to say, but she’s quiet. 

“Will you forgive me, baby…” you beg. 

“I want to, Jake. I do. I just…We talked about this, you said–”

“I know. I know what I said. There’s just something about you that makes me… I don’t know. Protective.” you answer, trying to find the words.

“You don’t have to be protective of me, Jake.” she breathes. 

“I want to be.” you admit. 

“But we aren’t…together, Jake…” she trails off. 

“I know.” you answer quietly, your true feelings begging to come out. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I just… I don’t want you to flip out on me every time you see me with another guy. I don’t freak out when I see pictures of you with a million girls vying for your attention, or hanging on you in photos…”

She’s right, you hadn’t really considered that. “I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Noooo. No. You’re not, you’re just…on tour and missing home. That’s all. This will all be over soon though, right? Only a little longer?” she asks sweetly. 

“Another month, then home to you.” you say, the words slipping out before you could catch them. “If you’ll still have me. 

“Of course I'll have you, Jake. I miss you every single day. I’ll tell you again, Dave is just a friend. I actually haven’t seen him outside of classes since that night. I promise, your mind is just trying to play tricks on you.” she laughs. 

“So… are we good? You forgive me? Got my girl back?” you ask, nervously. 

“Yes and I forgive you…but you better start calling more. Bloo really does miss you. I miss you.”

“Swear I’ll call baby. Fuck, I can’t wait to see you. Both of you.” you confess. 

“Can’t wait to see you too, Jake. But let me go to bed, I have a long drive tomorrow with an unruly passenger.” she laughs. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I– Thanks for… calling and you know, talking. I just haven’t been able to think straight since that night and I couldn’t take it anymore.” you say. 

“No problem, sorry it’s so late and all. I guess I just missed your voice.” she says sweetly, and you can hear a yawn on her end of the phone. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow?” you ask.

“I’d like that.” and you’re sure you can almost hear her smile. 

“Night, baby.”

“Goodnight Jake.” she says, ending the call. 

Fucking finally. 

DECEMBER

HER POV

“And you’re absolutely positive it has to be Die Hard?” you ask as Josh smiles smugly on the other end of a Facetime call. He’s laid back on his fluffy hotel room pillow, his freshly showered curls resting against the white fabric.

“It’s one of the best Christmas films ever made. So yes. Plus it’s my turn to pick anyways, Cherry.” he answers matter-of-factly. 

“Fine. But I get the next two.” you bargain, sending him a smirk. 

You see the dimple form in his cheek as he shakes his head, “Fine, fine. Just tell me when you’re ready so we can hit play.”

You hover your cursor over the play button on your laptop, attempting to start the movie at the same time. You and Josh had gotten into a bit of a routine, swapping your phone calls for Facetimes, and now spending your Facetimes watching movies together.

“Okay, 3, 2, 1.” you say, hitting the play button and seeing the production logo roll through. 

“Ahh, a classic. Get comfortable Cherry. Prop your phone up where I can see you.” he instructs, his voice a little stern, but you know that’s just how he speaks. You shuffle around, leaning your phone against a pillow. “Damn, it’s almost like I’m there.”

“Not too much longer?” you ask, letting your eyes catch his. 

“About two weeks. Now hush, it’s starting.” he smiles, sending you a little wink. 

About twenty-five minutes into the movie you see your phone screen flash, catching your attention. Shit.

“What’s up Cherry? Need to pause for a second?” Josh asks, his face obscured by Jake’s contact ringing through call waiting. 

“Fuck fuck fuck…” you groan, deciding what to do. 

“Cherry…” Josh presses.

“Sorry, it’s– It’s Jake, he’s trying to Facetime.”

“Mmm, well, he’s too late. He’ll have to wait.” he scoffs.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Just give me a second.” you respond, declining the call, and once again being met with Josh’s face. 

“I knew you’d make the right choice.” he remarks, with a smirk. 

“Ugh, shut up. Hold on.” you say, opening your text thread with Jake. 

You

10:02pm: Can I call you back later? Right in the middle of something. 

Jake

10:03pm: I’ll probably be asleep. Just calling to see your face, miss you and Bloo. 

You

10:04pm: Tomorrow? 

Jake

10:05pm: Definitely, night baby.

You

10:05pm: Goodnight ❤️

Swiping out of your texts you reopen your active call, seeing Josh waiting for you to come back onto the screen. “You quite done?” 

“Stop before I hang up and call him back.” you warn.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, just a joke. You know I’ll wait for you, Cherry baby.” he says softly. 

You let out a sigh, “Okay, you ready?”

“Yep, hit it.”

JANUARY 

“You ready to go honey?” your mom asks, attaching Bloo’s leash to his collar. 

“Yeah, I think so, I think I have everything.” you say, looking around the house. 

“I’m so glad you were able to come home for a little while, the place just isn’t the same without you.” She smiles tearfully. 

“Well, we have our trip to look forward to, right?” you smile, grabbing the leash from her hands.

“Oh! Yes! Actually I talked to Karen just yesterday and we finally got it all ironed out.” she smiles. “We are gonna meet Karen and the boys in Savannah for a nice little beach vacation!”

“Oh, the–the guys are coming this year?” you ask, shocked, trying not to arouse suspicion.  

“Yep! Said they both jumped on board immediately.” she grinned. 

“Oh, wow. Okay that sounds fun…” your mind suddenly swirling with anxiety. 

“So we have that to look forward to!” she says excitedly. “Be safe driving home honey, call me when you get back so I know you’re safe.”

“I will mom, thank you for everything and I love you! Come on Bloo!” you say, ushering him out the front door and letting him jump into your car. You wave to your mom again as you pull out of the driveway, a pit forming in your stomach as you realize your week of relaxation is going to be anything but. 

The number on the exit signs are starting to look more familiar, and in the distance you can see the twinkling of the city lights against the dark sky. Letting your playlist shuffle through your favorites you count down to your exit, ready to get the hell out of the car and into your bed. As you put on your blinker to merge off of the freeway your phone rings through your speakers. You quickly press the button to answer, smiling as you see Jake’s name flash across the display. 

“Hello?” you answer cheerfully. 

“Hey baby, how’s your drive going?” he asks, his voice velvety smooth and calm. 

“Only have about fifteen minutes left. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.” you laugh, disgruntling Bloo in the backseat. 

“Oh really? I thought you wouldn’t be back until late tonight?” he asks, and you can hear the squeak of his leather couch in the background. 

“Yeah, decided to get an earlier start this morning– Oh! My mother told me that you would be joining us for the vacation this year…” you say suggestively.

“Hmm…I wonder why.” he laughs, and you can practically hear his smile through the phone. “Hey, did you eat already? I can bring you some dinner…”

“Oh, yeah I ate about an hour ago…But– You could still come over… If you wanted to… I know it’s last minute and all–”

“Yes. Okay.” he answers all too quickly. 

“Eager?” you joke, hoping to rile him up. 

“For you, always.” he answers smugly. 

“Okay, good. I have a little surprise for you anyways.” 

“Mmm, that makes two of us.” he growls. “See you soon.” he says, ending the call. You feel a flutter of excitement in your chest at the thought of seeing him after so many months. 

As you pull onto your street you quickly scurry inside with Bloo, depositing your things at the door and rushing to your bedroom to freshen up after eight hours in the car. Realizing none of your things were in their normal place you run back to the front door, grabbing your toiletry bag, and running back to the bathroom. After a quick spritz of perfume, brushing your teeth and your hair, you let out a huff, knowing he will most likely be here any minute. 

You make your way to the kitchen, rummaging through your pantry looking for a rogue bottle of wine, spotting a bottle Jake had brought over previously that never got opened. As you dig out your wine bottle opener you hear a knock at the door and instantly your heart starts to pound. Finally, After months, he’s here. 

You take a deep, centering breath as you make your way to the front door, spinning the lock as Bloo wiggles excitedly next to you. Swinging the door open you’re met with Jake boasting an arm full of small boxes. 

“Hey baby…” he breathes, his eyes taking in every inch of you. 

A smile spreads across your warmed cheeks, “Hi… I think someone is excited to see you.” You say, opening the door to let him inside. 

“Oh my buddy!” he cheers, setting the boxes on the coffee table before falling to the floor and wrapping his arms around Bloo. “Oh, I missed you too. Yeah, I did. Mmhmm. Yes. Yes!” He says between licks to his face. 

You shut the door and lean against it, watching the two of them have their reunion, crossing your arms across your chest as you laugh. Jake sits up and reaches for your hand, and as you grab it he pulls you to the floor, letting you land on top of him. “You think you’re not getting the same treatment?” he smirks, wrapping his arms around you, kissing your face everywhere his lips can reach until you’re both in a fit of laughter. 

“I missed you baby, shit…” he pants, never letting his hand leave your skin as he sits both of you up. He reaches over towards the coffee table, grabbing the two small boxes and placing them in your hands. “For you and for Bloo. Merry Christmas.” 

“Jake…” you whine, searching his eyes. You see a flicker of excitement hidden behind them.

You peel off the red paper, revealing a small black box. You gingerly remove the lid, letting your eyes focus on the tiny silver sailboat pendant that rests on the fluff of cotton. A thin silver chain holds the single mast boat as you pinch it between your fingers, letting it twist and spin in the dim light of your living room. 

“Jake it’s so…”

“Saw it in a little shop in San Francisco…I immediately thought of you. I knew I had to get it. You know why, right?” he asks, grabbing it from your hand and unfastening the clasp. You shake your head a little, letting him slide it around your neck. 

“Well, I don’t know if you remember but, Annapolis was the first place our families ever went on vacation together. Maryland… Such a random place for a vacation, but it’s the sailing capital of the US. S’why we went apparently.” he pauses, smoothing his hand over the chain as he takes in the sight of you wearing it. “Then, I don’t know… I guess this is kind of stupid, but remember when we were sitting right here, watching 50 First Dates?” he asks, your heart instantly swelling as you nod your head. 

“Well, at the end you got all teary eyed and said you would live on a sailboat with me and with Bloo…Ahhh it sounds stupid now that I’m saying it outloud…” he stammers, feeling shy. 

“No. It’s not stupid at all. I love it. It’s– You’re so thoughtful, Jake…This is really special. Thank you. So much.”

“You’re welcome, baby. Just want you to know I was thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you.” he says, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Jake…” you reply, twisting your fingers with his. 

“Okay, now Bloo’s turn.” he smiles, handing you the smaller box. You rip the paper off, and are met with a similar small lidded box, and as you remove the lid you smile. 

“Couldn’t leave my buddy out.” he laughs. 

You pluck the silver dog tag from the box, the words ‘First Mate’ hand stamped into the metal. “God. You are so…” you pause, trying to find the right words. “You think of everything.”

“I try to. For you…” he trails off. 

Bloo saunters over, and you put him in a headlock as you attach the new tag to his collar.  

“It’s perfect.” he smiles, admiring his work. 

“You are.” you answer, craning your neck to press your lips to his. His hands find your hips, pulling you into his lap as your mouths reacquaint themselves with each other. This kiss is slow, and sweet, and passionate, and you hope he can feel how happy you are to be with him like this again. 

You pull away, not letting your lips go too far as you whisper against his. “Do you want your present?”

“I think this is a pretty good present.” he smiles, gripping his hands into your ass. 

“Mmm… I think you’re gonna like this one a little bit more.” you answer, standing up from his lap and walking to the kitchen to find your cell phone. You snatch it off the counter and open your emails, looking for the one you received this morning. You found your place in his lap again, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Okay, so. Remember this morning when we talked about you joining us on our vacation this year?” you ask. 

“I do.” he nods. 

“Well, I was thinking on my drive home that it would be fun if we could… I don’t know, sneak away for a little bit and go on an adventure, just me, you and Bloo.”

“Okay…” he presses, raising his eyebrows. 

“So, I booked us a kayaking trip for when we’re in Savannah. Just us, and Bloo.” you said flashing the phone screen at him to see the reservation. “I know it’s not a sailboat, but it’s kind of cute that we both gifted each other something water themed.” you giggle.

“Baby… That’s amazing. Shit, I can’t wait for that. I’ve been wanting to do something like that with you and Bloo. Thought about it while I was gone. God, you are perfect. You are. I swear. Thank you. That’s going to be such a good day.”

You drop your phone to the floor as he wraps his arms around your waist, connecting his lips to yours again, a little more passionately this time. You kiss him back, letting your tongue lick into his mouth as you taste him fully for the first time in months. A small groan leaves your mouth as his fingers slide under the hem of your shirt, feeling the skin he’s missed so desperately. 

“Fuck, I want you Y/N. Thought about you every single day.” he breathes, sucking spots into your skin. 

A jagged breath leaves your mouth at the feeling of his lips on your neck. “I want you, Jake.”

“Have me. Take me.” he breathes, stringing the words together almost indecipherably. 

You push up off of the floor, standing and extending your hand to him, which he takes as he stands. As the two of you make your way down the hallway he stops, spinning you to face him and brushing your hair away from your neck. 

“Fuck.” he breathes, taking in the sight of the small boat. “I have had that for two months, I looked at it every single day wondering how it would look on you.”

“And…How does it look?” you reply with a flirtiness in your tone. 

He grabs the tiny sailboat between his fingers, gently tugging you forward with it as he connects his lips to yours. “Perfect.” he murmurs softly against your lips. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as his hands slide down your waist, hooking under your knees and pulling your legs to wrap around his waist. He walks you to your bedroom, tossing you down onto the bed with a slight bounce. He pulls his shirt over his head, as he crawls to meet you on the bed, his hands working quickly to rid you of your leggings.

He tosses them to the floor, before moving to your shirt, pulling it over your head as his lips connect with your chest. His kisses are wet and hot, his hands sliding up your arms, letting his fingers link with yours as he holds them over your head. 

“Please…” you beg, letting your eyes flash to his. 

“You’re so pretty when you beg for me. I want you too, baby. I promise. Just want to touch all the places I thought about, first.” he says, sucking your nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirls around the hardened bud, letting his teeth graze over the sensitive flesh. Your body arches into his, and you notice his pants are still on. 

“Your pants. Please. Let me feel you…” you whine, your hands still restrained over your head. 

He removes a hand from yours, unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning the button, pushing the fabric to the floor. He crawls back over you, never letting your hands free from his grip as he returns his mouth to his torturous heavenly assault on your neck.

“Jake…please let me touch you…” you plead, earning you a smile as his lips glide against your stomach. 

“You miss me, baby?” he asks, a tinge of familiar arrogance in his voice, and in this moment you remember his twin. You push him from your mind as you feel the tingles forming in your stomach.

“Yes. Yes–please…” you whine.

“Mmm…I missed you too. Watched our little video damn near every night.” he pauses, his tongue licking up your stomach. “Not nearly as good as the real thing, though.”

He releases one of your hands, and it moves to grip into his hair. Your nails scratch against his scalp, earning you a groan of satisfaction. He looks up to you, as his hand moves and you feel two fingers swipe through your center. 

“Sweet, wet little thing. God I fuckin’ missed you.” he growls, pressing his lips to your center, letting his tongue swipe through your folds. Your hips jerk upward into his mouth, as his hand comes up to press your hips down. His tongue swirls back and forth drawing tight figure eights over your clit, the wet sounds escaping his lips, only proving to make you wetter for him than you already were.

You hand grips tightly into his hair again, as a hiss leaves his mouth. A gentle ‘fuck’ passing through his lips. He slips a finger inside of you, pressing directly into the place he knows you like best as if he hasn’t been gone for months and just did this yesterday.

A moan leaves your mouth at the contact, a ripple of pleasure greater than you’ve been able to give yourself tearing through your body. 

“There she is. There’s my girl.” he says, the praises flowing from his lips like a waterfall.

“Please, I can’t wait… I need you…” you whine, hoping he will approve your request just this once.

“Huh-uh. You’re gonna cum for me just like this, first. Want to watch you fall apart on my hand. Only fuckin’ thing I’ve wanted for months.”

You knew the power a few filthy words held over you, especially these last few weeks, so you pressed further, knowing you were close. “More…Keep talking…”

“Yeah? Want to hear me whisper dirty words in your ear? Tell you I dreamed of your sweet pussy soaking my hand? Tell you I came with your name on my lips every night? That what you want, baby?” he growled into you, his fingers working diligently inside of you as he let his tongue flick over your clit. 

“Yes…” you breathed, feeling the warmth starting to rise from your groin. 

“Cum for me, give me what I want…” he demands, with a harsh flick of his tongue. Your eyes meet his just as you tumble over the edge, letting your release sweep you into the riptide of euphoria. 

You’re a panting mess as you slip back into reality, feeling him crawling up the bed to hover over you. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

Your cheeks flame red at his compliment and you see a cheeky smile slide across his face. “So beautiful.”

“Will you fuck me now?” you ask, feeling a bit forward, but knowing it's what he wants.  

“You ready for me?” he responds. 

You nod your head quickly as he taps the tip of his cock to your sensitive clit. You hiss at the contact but you’re craving him more than you ever have, completely desperate to feel him inside of you. 

He presses forward, and you feel every inch of him as he reaches the hilt. He breathes hard into your neck, struggling to catch his breath just from the feeling alone. “Goddamnit, Y/N…”

You tighten around him, needy for more as you feel him jump inside of you. “Baby…” he whines, pulling his hips back before sliding into you again. His eyes practically roll back into his head as you squeeze around him again, and that's his final straw as he pulls out of you and taps your thigh. “On your knees. Please.”

You roll over, pushing up to all fours as his hand slides down your spine and rounds your ass. You feel his dick press to your entrance as he lets his hand guide your hips back to him. “Push back onto me baby, arch your back for me.”

He definitely knew what he wanted tonight, but you consider that he’d had a few months to figure it out. He thrusts into you as you push back and the rough contact steals the breath from your lungs. “Fuck Jake…”

“Tell me if it’s too much.” he pants, snapping his hips into you with a loud smack.

“No. Not too much, want more…” you breathe through each thrust. 

“More?” he asks, bringing his knee up and planting his foot on the bed. He places both hands on your hips, forcefully pulling you back before letting one hand snake up your back to rest at the junction of your neck and shoulder. He uses this for leverage, pulling you closer to him as he fucks into you. 

“So goddamn tight. So fucking good for me.” he grunts, letting his hand wrap around the front of your throat. 

“Do it.” you beg, desperate to feel his fingers tighten around your neck. You feel the tension building inside of you again, and you’re certain that one more harsh thrust and the lack of blood flow to your brain would be enough to send you over the edge once again. His fingers grip into your skin as he delivers another wicked snap of his hips, catapulting you into your orgasm as you clench tightly around him. 

“Baby, I’m– Fuck, I’m there. I’m–” he groans, trying hard to stave off his own release. 

“No. I want it. Give it to me.” you beg through strangled breath. He releases your throat, wrapping both of his arms around your waist and pulling you up to rest against his chest as he spills into you with a few gentle thrusts. His moans are loud in your ear as you rest your head on his shoulder, letting his hands palm your tits as he works himself through his come down.

The two of you collapse into the sheets, sweating and panting. He pulls out of you and rolls to face you, pressing his lips to yours in a rapid succession of kisses, a desperate attempt to show you how much he needed everything you just gave him.

A shower was needed, the two of you washing quickly with a few shared kisses and touches in between, a few laughs and a long, wet hug. You let him wrap you in a towel before the two of you make your way back to the bedroom, sliding on pajamas and falling back into your bed. His hands ran lazily over your back, his eyes tired and a yawn slipping in between every few words. 

“Did you really…watch that video every night?” you ask shyly. 

A small laugh leaves his chest, “Almost. Was missing you pretty bad there at the end.”

“Couldn’t you have…you know…” you trailed off.

“What…?” he questions. 

“Found someone to…”

“What? No. Why would I do that?” he asks like you’re insane. 

“Well, we aren’t–”

“No. That’s not me. That’s more of a Josh thing.” he says, waving his hand in the air. 

“A Josh thing?” you ask, feeling a bit of the color he brought to your cheeks drain as you process what he just said. 

He huffs out a breath, “Yeah, typical tour behavior. Finds someone somewhere, regrets it the next morning.”

“He does that often?” you ask nonchalantly, trying not to make it seem like you’re invested in the answer. 

“Pretty much. Think he learned his lesson on Halloween though.” he laughs, clearly replaying the memory in his mind. 

“Halloween?” you ask, the wheels turning in your mind. The night you two fought. The night you and Josh were…

“Mmhm… was glued to his phone all night, then got pissed off and left with some chick. We had to go pick him up at her place the next morning, he looked like dog shit and then got sick a few days later.”

You feel your heart sink and you wonder if he would have gone home with that girl if the two of you had continued texting. You try to brush off the sour feeling, remembering that it’s Jake’s arms you’re laying in, not Josh’s.

“I’m glad that shit doesn’t really interest me.” he says, running his fingers through your hair. “You’re all I really wanted anyways.”

You lean over and press a kiss to his soft warm lips, letting his hands wrap around your waist as he pulls you close to him. “I wanted you too,” you answer, your voice a little withdrawn. You try to bring yourself back into the moment with Jake, not letting Josh and his tendencies ruin your reunion with Jake. His voice pulls you from your thoughts, a welcome distraction.

“Remember a few weeks ago I told you about that guitar collab I’m working on?” he asks, changing the subject. 

“Mhmm…” you hum against his chest. 

“I fly out to Montana next week to look at prototypes for my very own model.”

“Really? That’s so amazing, Jake!” you gush, knowing he was excited about this for the past few weeks. 

“Yeah, I’m stoked. I know it’s going to be a long tedious process, but so worth it. I’ll be flying back and forth for a few weeks to make final decisions, then we have to shoot some press and promo for it…” he trails off. “I know I’ve been gone, and I know we just got back to…well, this. But, I’m gonna be back and forth for just a little while longer.” he says, a little bit of solemn energy in his voice. 

“That’s–that’s okay Jake. Don’t worry about me, just go do your thing. You know I’ll be here.”

“I hoped you’d say that. You know it’s you I wanna come back to, right?” he asks, letting his thumb drift under your eye. 

You smile softly and nod your head, feeling his lips press to your forehead as your eyes grow heavy. You feel Bloo jump up into the bed, Jake welcoming him with open arms as he settles on the opposite side of him. He lets out a content sigh as he pats Bloo’s chest.

“I’ll be back for Valentine’s Day though…” he says, his voice sleepy as he rolls to pull you in tight. 

“Yeah? You got a hot date?” you say playfully, pressing your ass into him. 

“I think she’s pretty hot.” he touts, grabbing a handful of your ass as you turn off the lamp.

“Is this your way of asking me to be your Valentine, Jake?” you giggle.

He lays a soft kiss behind your ear, letting his velvety smooth voice fill your mind. “Something like that…”

You stand outside of Josh’s front door, the winter wind blowing your hair in front of your eyes. Just a few days after New Years, you’re holding his Christmas present in your hands, wrapped neatly in some brown paper with a simple bow of twine.

He opens the door, his usual handsome half smile on his face, wearing his usual long sleeve white t-shirt. His hair is a little longer than it was the last time you saw him, peeking out around the back of his neck, and his eyes are a little brighter, like his battery has been recharged after all of the excitement of being on the road for a few months.

“Well look who it is…” he says, and you feel the way your cheeks flush. A smile creeps onto your face as he looks you over. “Get in here. It’s cold.” 

You step inside, unzipping your boots and slipping them off. You shrug off your jacket, but his house is always a little chilly, so you’ve come prepared this time in a sweater. 

“You didn’t bring your friend with you.”

“Bloo? No. He’s fine at home. And he doesn’t seem to be a fan of you anyway.” You answer, snickering as he leads you towards the living room. 

“I think the fact that there are seemingly two of me makes him uneasy.” He suggests with a philosophical air as he sits on the couch, but you know it’s bullshit. 

“You don’t look that similar. Plus… It doesn’t make me uneasy.” You quip playfully, shrugging. 

Josh rolls his eyes in response, not giving you the reaction you wanted. He looks up at you, silence falling over the room for a beat. Some music is playing softly and it looks like he was in the middle of writing in his journal- the book is closed, but his pens and pencils are laid out on the coffee table. 

“Here,” you say, offering him the little box in your hands. “For Christmas.” 

He accepts it tentatively, holding your gaze as his long fingers graze yours briefly. You watch his hands carefully as he pinches the twine between his thumb and forefinger, gently untying the knot with one pull. You swallow thickly as you watch his nimble fingers, the veins in his hands appearing and disappearing as he moves.

You perch yourself on the arm of the sofa as he slips a single finger under the taped flap on the underside, popping it free. He unwraps the gift with impressive neatness, folding the brown paper over a few times to make it smaller, then he tucks it under his leg.

He lifts the top of the box free and reveals the suncatcher inside. It’s a circle, intended to be the sun, with a thin gold ring around it and a few smaller crystals dangling from it. He gently plucks it out of the box, looking it over.

“I don’t put up a Christmas tree, Cherry.” He says with a smug smile. 

“It’s not…” You say, trailing off, a little frustrated. “It’s a suncatcher.” 

“Oh.” He says, looking it over again. 

“You have a thousand windows in here and not a single blind, curtain, or decoration. I figured it’s a start.” You say, feeling your cheeks heat up. He hates it. He thinks it’s stupid. You want the ground to swallow you up. “It’s… It’s nothing. I just saw it while you were away and thought of you. That’s all.”

He senses your nervousness and offers you a little smile.

“Thank you. You’re a sweetheart.” He finally says, putting it down on the coffee table next to his closed journal and probably cold tea. You don’t say anything in response, choosing to just give him a halfhearted smile instead while you curse yourself for getting him anything in the first place.

“I didn’t have time to get you a gift, but I did light the fireplace in anticipation of your arrival. That counts for something, right?” He says, laughing softly as you sit sideways on the couch, looking over at him. You don’t buy that he didn't have time to get you a gift, knowing that Jake did, but you push it from your mind.

“It does feel warmer in here. Thank you.” You respond, giving him a little shy smile. You can feel him trying to pull your walls back down.

“What did you get up to for the holidays? Mom doing okay down there on her own?” He asks, putting his arm over the back of the couch and getting comfortable.

“It was really just her and I… and Bloo. I saw some old friends for dinner once or twice but other than that, her and I just hung out. It was nice.” You say, resting your head on your hand. “She’s doing okay being by herself, though. She and your mom are still constantly on the phone.” You pause for a minute, thinking back fondly on their friendship. “How was Michigan?” 

Josh chuckles softly. He looks over at the coffee table, like he’s considering his answer. 

“It was fine. Jake was in a piss-poor mood the entire time thanks to someone. So that put a bit of a damper on things.”

“Oh, please. You know how he gets when you guys go away.” You say, coming to his defense as well as your own.

“I know how he gets when we go away and leave you unattended.” He says, his comment definitely holding some weight as his eyes rake over you. “Look at you, knocking on my door the same day his flight leaves. Heard you got into some trouble on Halloween, even.” 

You tilt your chin down, looking at him like you’re disappointed in him for the remark.

“I heard you did too.” You shoot back, raising your brows. 

“That’s where you’re wrong, Cherry. I don’t get into trouble, I don’t play games, and I don’t owe anyone anything.” He says it calmly with such an arrogant tone that you feel your face get hot.

“No, I… I didn’t mean–”

“See, I’m not Jake.” He continues, and you can sense some annoyance in his tone. “I’m not your little boyfriend. You don’t catch me crying when you get out of my bed and hop right into his before the sheets are cold, do you?” He says bluntly. Your eyes go a little wide. This isn’t even close to how you imagined this conversation going.

“I wasn’t actually giving you a hard time.” You say, your tone clipped. “If I was, I would have called you up the moment I found out.” You explain with the smallest amount of contempt in your voice. “But I didn’t. I was just teasing you. I’m glad you had a good time with whoever.” 

He’s quiet for a moment, looking over at you like he’s discerning whether or not you’re telling the truth. The record crackling softly underneath the conversation has stopped, so when he stands up, you figure he’s heading to change or flip it. 

You watch as he walks away, flips the vinyl, then starts the second side. You surmise he can feel your eyes on him, because when he turns around, he’s back to his usual self, smiling smugly at you. 

“I missed you, you know.” He says on his way back over. He sits back down closer to you this time, seemingly trying to butter you up after his little outburst.  

“I know.” You answer, fighting a smile as you try and play the game. He gives you a surprised suck of his teeth, leaning closer, toying with the ends of your hair. 

“You’re not mad at me?” He says, his voice a soft, boyish melody in your ear. 

“No, Josh.” You answer truthfully. There may have been a little pit of jealousy buried down deep somewhere, but you’re rational enough to know that it’s not justified. “You’re not my ‘little boyfriend,’ so I’m not mad.” You lie, because buried even deeper than that jealousy is a glimmer of hope, that maybe, eventually, he could be. 

“Can I kiss you?”

His voice pulls you from your thoughts. His lips meet your jaw first, a sweet brush of his facial hair across your skin sending goosebumps up your arms. You nod against him, reaching towards the back of his neck to help him along. When his soft lips meet yours, a sigh leaves your chest. You missed him too.

He helps you into his lap and your lips reconnect, wasting no time at all. You can feel the hard outline of him against you as he pulls your hips down with a little force, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip almost mischievously as the friction makes your hips buck in search for more.

“Can I touch you?”

You hum affirmatively, feeling his slightly chilly hand slide into the front of your pants against your abdomen. Your muscles tense slightly as you adjust to the temperature difference while his hand keeps moving, slipping into your cotton underwear.

“Fuck… you’re so warm,” he murmurs, not hesitating as he slips two fingers inside you, curling them forward and watching your jaw fall slack. He takes in every detail of your face, your reaction fueling him.

Between the way his stare and his fingers are making you feel, you can’t help but let your head fall backwards, a drawn out moan escaping as he works you.

“Why is this pretty pussy so wet, huh?” He asks, licking softly at the skin of your neck now that it’s exposed. “I think you walk in here and it just happens. Classic conditioning?” 

You can’t help but let out a laugh, lifting your head again.

“Do you ever shut up?” You quip, your smile crinkling the edges of your eyes. 

He lifts his free hand, miming like he’s zipping his lips and throwing away the key. You purse your lips, taking your turn to give him a look of disbelief. He doesn’t say another word, but he curls his fingers so deliciously you can’t help but cry out.

You lower your head to kiss him, teeth bumping together. He lets out a small groan against you, panting into your mouth as he starts to fuck his fingers into you faster. 

“Keep going…” You sigh against him. You can feel him tempted to respond, but he stays silent, just listening, keeping a consistent pace with his fingers inside you. It’s not long before he has you breathless, teetering on the edge. 

He’s dedicated to proving he knows how to be quiet, and you know it by the way he’s humming, mumbling unintelligible praises with his mouth closed. You know he wants to feel you tighten around him and soak his fingers, and he doesn’t need to say it out loud. His dark eyes are boring into you as he adds a little more pressure, pressing and stroking against the inside of you until you feel like you’re floating.

With a small yelp and a vice grip on the overgrown hair at the back of his head, you start to tremble, collapsing into him, your climax taking you. You feel the way your body sucks his fingers in, never wanting to let them go, never wanting to let him leave again. He gives you a pleased hum as you come down, your quickened breaths soon slowing and deepening as he waits patiently for you to come down.

He withdraws his hand from your pants and tugs at the waistband, silently asking you to take them off. You don’t hesitate to hop up from the couch and slide them off. He stands up with you, taking you by surprise and pushing you towards the couch. You kneel on the cushions, putting your hands on the back of it. For a moment you feel exposed, looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows of his home into the woods of his backyard. It’s unlikely anyone would see you, but your natural reaction is a tinge of nervousness. 

You know he’s behind you, unphased, the little voyeur he is. You laugh softly to yourself as he unzips his pants, folding them in half and tossing them over the arm of the couch.

You feel his fingers as he reaches out, grazing over the small of your back. He trails them down to your ass, his touch sweet and firm. After a gentle squeeze, his fingers slip between your legs. 

“You look so pretty like this,” he says as he breaks his silence, and you turn your head over your shoulder, acknowledging the fact that, no, he doesn’t ever shut up. That couldn’t have even been five minutes. You watch as his eyes travel over the most intimate parts of you, admiring you, his hand lazily exploring your wetness, being surprisingly mindful of how sensitive you are, and decide not to give him trouble about it. The compliment feels good. 

He pushes a single finger into you, which in turn makes you arch your back, pushing back against him. You feel warm all over as he applies a little pressure. He lets out a breathy laugh at your reaction, slipping his finger out of you. He takes a step closer, rubbing the tip of himself against you for a moment.

“You want it, Cherry?” he rasps, and you hear the lewd sound of him slipping against you, soaked and dizzy with want. “Say please,” he taunts, and you huff in frustration.

Wordlessly, you shift your hips, arching your back just enough to get the wide, pillow-soft head of his cock to slip inside you.

“Oh, you little brat.” He grunts, and from the sound of his voice, you know his jaw is clenched. You try to push back against him, but he backs away, refusing to give you what you want. It feels good, but you’re not sated. You’ve thought about this for too long. It’s not enough. 

“Please,” you whine, and he sucks his teeth in response. 

“Listen to you begging… don’t you have any shame, Cherry girl? How did you survive while I was away?” He pauses. “While we were away.” He adds, slipping in just a little further, pulling a punched moan from you. “Greedy thing.”

“Josh…” you huff, and he chuckles softly, moving in a touch deeper. 

“I’m just taking it slow… don’t want to hurt you…” he says, his voice dripping with fake concern.

“I swear to g-”

His hips snap before you’re finished, cutting you off as he stuffs you full and sends you forward into the couch. You gasp at the feeling, trying to look at him over your shoulder.

“You’re welcome.” He whispers, his tone smug. “Now stop your whining.” 

He hasn’t started moving yet, but you can feel warmth burning in your lower belly, your walls fluttering around him. He runs his hand down your back, taking a deep breath. 

“You’re so fucking warm and tight… Goddamn, Cherry.” He says, and you can feel him flex inside you, his body tensed up as he’s fighting the urge to fuck into you. He savors the feeling for a little longer before finally pulling back with a slow drag that makes your head spin.

“God, I missed you…” you say, your voice soft and muffled by the throw blanket on the back of the couch. You almost immediately regret it, because you know he’s going to take it and run with it. 

“Missed me?” He asks, sucking in a sharp breath between his teeth as he starts to set a steady pace, your hips bouncing off of his as he pulls you against them. “Or missed fucking me?”

“Both,” you answer truthfully. He picks up the pace a little more, thrusting with a bit of force, gripping your waist with both of his hands. He seems to reward you for your honesty, giving a pleased hum as he reaches around, his fingers dragging sloppy circles around your bundle of nerves. Your legs shake slightly, your hands gripping the back of his leather couch for leverage.

“Josh…” You cry out, lifting your head. Your hair falls over your back and he abandons your clit, taking the opportunity to gather it up, wrapping it once around his fist. 

“I know, Cherry-pie. I can feel it. You gonna give it to me? Your pretty pussy gonna tell me how much she missed me?” He says, his voice raspy and winded. You replace his hand with your own, and even though it’s not the same it’ll work.

You nod quickly against his hold on your hair, feeling your body start to tense up. Your thighs are quivering, muscles taught. 

“Breathe, baby.” He says, his voice soft. “Gonna be sore tomorrow. Relax.” He says, coaxing you along. You take a deep breath, filling your lungs, releasing it with a choked moan as your climax starts to take you.

“Josh…” You gasp, your voice wavering in rhythm with each thrust he delivers, your neck bent as he holds on to your hair. 

“Right… behind you…” He says, his words clipped as he speaks through clenched teeth. He sounds so needy that you want to bundle up the sound of his voice for a rainy day, the desperation of it enough to make you dizzy.

He chases his own end, fucking you deeper and harder, to the point that each stroke reverberates through your hips, your bones, painful in the sweetest way. He lets out a low groan as his hips start to stutter, his hand tightening in your hair. You hiss softly at the pain, but he soon lets go, pulling out of you and wrapping his hand around his cock. He pushes the underside of it against your ass, and you feel him stroking himself quickly. He curses before you feel him start to paint your lower back with his seed, whiny, pained sounds escaping his lips as he does.

You pull your hair over your shoulder, looking back at him as he comes back down. 

“Fuck me.” He says, a chill running up his spine. You laugh at the vision of him as he shudders, a tiny, fucked out giggle bubbling out of you. “That’s a sight.” He says, admiring his work. 

Your cheeks flush as he grins brightly at you, his cheeks rosy and glowing, and you can’t help but smile in return. 

“Come on. Let me clean up my mess.” He says, walking off towards the stairs, assuming you’re going to follow. 

The night that follows isn’t what you usually get with Josh. You’re not sure if it’s because you haven’t seen him in a while, or because Jake is out of town, or because he’s just been lonely while on the road. The two of you take a long, hot shower, Josh babbling softly about what he saw on the road, the crowds, the small towns, the fans he met. You listen and ask the occasional question, but much prefer to hear his thoughts strung together without interruption. 

You dry off, Josh kindly offering you a soft black t-shirt to wear. You borrow his hairbrush, getting a few knots out of your wet hair. He uses a gentle, unscented moisturizer, so you borrow some for your face, shooting him a smirk as you put it back on his countertop, knowing he wants to say something about you not asking permission or making yourself right at home. 

Once you’re seemingly dry, dressed, and finished, you move to walk out of his bedroom and track down your clothes. 

“Hey…” He says, holding his towel in his arms, some sweatpants hanging low on his hips. “Where are you going?” 

You furrow a brow at him. Who is this man in front of you and where did he send Josh?

“To… get my stuff? I’m sure you want to get to bed.” You answer. You’ve learned not to overstay your welcome. 

The air is heavy for a moment and you swear you see the gears turning in his head. Then he speaks in a soft, almost boyish voice.

“Why don’t you stay?”

The second half of January speeds along once your classes start back up. You see Josh every few days while Jake is in and out of town. When Jake is around, he’s usually at your house. You start to feel yourself getting a little overwhelmed between the two of them. It’s hard to keep yourself focused on school, your attention always being pulled in some direction. It comes to a head when Jake comes home on a Sunday evening and Josh, in typical fashion, calls you up, expecting to make plans for the same day.

“Just come over.” He says, like he doesn’t want to hear whatever your response it. “I got that wine you like and I’m half hard on the couch.” 

“Josh. It’s fucking freezing outside.” You lie, putting him on speaker as you braid your hair in your bathroom mirror, the 6pm sky pitch black outside. Jake is flying home as the two of you speak and you’re going to spend the evening at his house. 

“I’ll get a remote start installed in your car if you come over.” He offers, and you can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Josh…” you warn, tying up your first finished braid. “I’m already in bed.”

“Come onnnnnn.” He whines. “Please, Cherry girl?”  You sigh, biting down on your lip as you debate telling him the truth. 

“Jake’s on his way back.” You divulge, not saying anything more just yet. 

“So?”

“So… I said I would go over for a little while when he got home.” You share with a sigh. 

“Why wait all night for him when I’m here... on the line… begging for you to come pay me a visit?” He asks, his voice low and tempting. You’re silent for a moment as you curse the warmth building between your thighs. He knows you’re considering taking the bait by how long it’s taking you to respond. 

“Tell him you’ll see him tomorrow. You’re tired. You’re busy. You’re bored of him. Just… just come over. Let me bury my face between your legs for a bit, then I’ll send you on your merry way. Scout’s honor.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” You say, sighing. Picking up your phone, you see the last text Jake sent telling you he’d be back at his house around 11pm. You start to type a message to him as you hear Josh humming on the other line, not hanging up until he gets the answer he wants from you. 

You

6:13pm: Hey... I’ve got an awful migraine and I kind of just want to try and sleep it off. Can we get together in the morning? Coffee before my class at 11, maybe? Sorry to bail on you… 🙁

You send the text and put your phone back down on the counter, grabbing your toothbrush. Josh is going about his business on the other line. You hear his tea kettle, then the sound of a mug being pulled from the cabinet. A tea bag crinkles near the speaker. Your phone buzzes shortly after. 

Jake

6:16pm: Poor baby. Get some rest. I’ll text you in the morning and we can find some time to get together.

“What’s the verdict?” Josh asks, having heard your phone buzz. 

You spit out your toothpaste, then answer him with a little snark. 

“I’m getting a remote start for my car.” 

After that night, you start to reconsider your decision making. It’s getting harder to keep your stories straight. More difficult to keep up with the two of them. It’s draining your energy and taking your focus away from your schoolwork. You withdraw a little, trying to get your head straight. 

The universe, hearing your plea, gives you a break from the two of them when the freezing weather and campus germs land you with a cold. You spend the last week of the month alone, both of them keeping their distance, knowing they have to keep themselves and their weak immune systems safe from the plague you picked up on campus. It buys you some time to think and try to pay attention to your studies. 

FEBRUARY

It’s a freezing cold February afternoon as you sit in your bed, your laptop warming your thighs as you try and get some schoolwork done. You’ve been holed up working for a few hours, using your Sunday to catch up so you weren’t pulling any all-nighters during the week. 

Realizing your stomach is slightly empty, you flip the blankets off of you, kicking your legs over the bed and heading for the kitchen. When you look out of the back door, you’re met with a surprising view- snow?

There had been some snow while you were away, nothing but some light flurries, but this time it seems to be sticking. It’s coming down heavily, and you’re completely and utterly unprepared. You don’t own a shovel, you don’t think, and you don’t have your landlord’s key to the shed out back. 

Bloo trots out of the bedroom, sitting down at the sliding glass door and looking out, then over his shoulder at you.

“I know buddy. I didn’t think to get you a winter coat.” You say, closing the fridge. Padding across the floor in your sock clad feet, you grab your phone off of your bed and send Jake a picture of the view through the door, Bloo sitting and watching the snowflakes in the foreground. He’s out of town for the next few days, so the least you can do is update him on the freak Nashville snow storm outside of your door. You call Bloo into your lap after you hit send, hugging him for a moment in the quiet. Jake doesn’t take too long to answer, your phone buzzing a few minutes later.

Jake

5:21pm: I’m missing it? Oh come on. 

You

5:22pm: Wish you were here. (I don’t have a shovel.) 

You

5:22pm: And I miss you. 

Jake

5:23pm: You should call Josh. He can make it through the snow in his truck and he could use a workout. 

You exhale a little laugh out of your nose at his text- not because what he’s saying is anything absurd, but because of the sheer irony. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing. The way he’s so trusting, encouraging you to invite his twin over during a snowstorm, is making you feel god awful. 

You

5:25pm: Maybe. Hopefully it just melts…

Jake

5:25pm: Oh, and then re-freezes into ice? Brilliant!

You

5:26pm: Blah blah blah, you know everything about snow because you’re from Michigan, we get it. 😉

You sigh and pull up your contacts, dialing Josh’s number. He answers on the first ring, like he was already holding his phone.

“Hello?” He says in a brassy, cartoony voice. He’s in a good mood, you can already tell.

“Hi. Is this Mr. Josh Kiszka?” You ask, stifling a laugh.

“It is. Who gave you this number?” He asks with mock confusion. 

You laugh into the phone, standing up from your spot on the floor.

“I was referred by your twin brother. I don’t own a shovel, so he strongly advised me to ask you to come and clear the walkway. Wants to be sure I don’t slip and crack my head open like a watermelon.” You explain, pretending it’s a business arrangement. “And my dog needs a spot in the grass to pee.”

You hear him sigh on the other end of the line. A little groan comes through too, like he’s stretching after sitting for a while. 

“Alright, Cherry. I guess I can do that. If he insists.” He says, a little tongue in cheek. “I’ll be there in a bit.”

You quickly tidy your house, which you’ve been holed up in for hours. You light some candles, re-make your bed, fluff the throw pillows, and put on some quiet music. Grabbing your laptop, you open it and set it on the kitchen counter, getting in a few words between tasks as you pull out ingredients for dinner. You had planned to make some soup because of the cold, and now that it’s snowing, it’s the perfect meal. You hope Josh isn’t persnickety about his food.

Soon enough, you hear the crunch of his tire. Looking out the window, you see he’s pulled up in front of your house rather than in the driveway so he can shovel it.

“Bloo..” you sing out, calling him from the window. He joins you in the kitchen, ears perked up, nubby tail wagging as much as it can. You give him a treat and hold another in your clasped hand. “Let’s not bark at Josh today, okay? Can we try that?” 

You open the door before Josh has a chance to knock, trying to lessen the stress on Bloo. You remind Bloo to sit, watching him carefully as Josh stands in the threshold of your home. He’s bundled in a khaki colored jacket with a white hoodie underneath, a beanie over his head and ears. 

“Hi.” You smile, looking between him and Bloo. 

“He’s getting better…” Josh remarks, his expression showing he’s a little impressed. You watch as Josh stretches out his hand gently, letting Bloo sniff it. Bloo’s little nose twitches once or twice, then he stands from where he’s sitting, trying to get closer to Josh.

He sniffs his snowboots first, then up his legs, landing on his jacket pockets. He sniffs a little more intensely before looking at Josh’s face and tilting his head. 

“Here,” you say, offering Josh the treat in your hand. “Spoiled dog thinks everyone carries treats in their pockets for him.” 

Josh lifts his eyes to meet yours, his face a little unsure, but takes the treat anyway, wanting to at least try for you which you find pretty sweet. He holds the little bone out with an open palm and Bloo accepts it, licking Josh’s hand as he does, which earns him a soft grunt of displeasure. 

Josh’s eyes move to the kitchen, where you’re in the middle of prepping dinner.

“What are you making?”

“I figured you would be pretty cold after shoveling, so… I’m making butternut squash soup. But if you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay...” You say, preemptively hurting your own feelings, hoping to lessen the sting when he inevitably leaves.

“I love soup.” He says, and he grins. He grins excitedly. About soup. You think it’s a silly thing to pull that amount of emotion from him, but his grin is contagious, so you can’t help but smile back at him as Bloo sniffs around his feet some more. 

“Oh. Well good.” You nod once, watching as he zips up his jacket. 

“I’ll leave you to it.” He says, giving you a little wink. He turns to leave, but you reach for his hand quickly, pulling him towards you. You place a tender kiss to his lips, feeling his surprise, but it soon fades and he kisses you right back.

“Thank you. For um, for coming.” You say, a little sheepish.

“You got it, Cherry.” He heads for the door again and you snicker at the way the hood of his sweater sticks out of the back of his jacket as he goes. 

You get back to the kitchen, the squash still simmering. You see Bloo watching you carefully, so you offer him a little chunk of it from the counter, but he turns his nose up and leaves you to work alone.  

Once you puree the vegetables and get them into the pot with your broth and herbs, you put the top on and shuffle over to the window. Josh is almost done with your small driveway, the path from the steps already done.

You slip on your boots and jacket, shuffling to the back door. You slide it open and call Bloo, who stops in his tracks and looks out at the snow reluctantly.

“Come on, buddy. It’s snow.” You encourage, patting his rear-end softly. He takes a few more steps forward, skeptical, but his interest is piqued. He dips a curious paw into the snow, sniffing the ground, then two. 

You eye him with a little smile, watching him re-discover snow for the first time in two years. In a flash, he bolts out into the yard, sending a dusting of fresh snow up into the air with every step and kick. Josh, who is standing at the fence gate, watches with a surprised expression, a flicker of joy in his eyes. You look at each other before your attention is pulled back to Bloo, having the time of his life as he runs around in the backyard while the sky seems to darken.

“I think he just needs like… a little square of grass. I’m not sure if he’ll go in the snow.” You say as Josh approaches with his shovel. He nods wordlessly, pulling his bright eyes from the ridiculous and lanky display Bloo is still putting on. He makes a clearing for Bloo, then shoos you off of the small patio to clear that too. Once he’s done, he takes a deep breath, leaning the shovel on the back of the house. 

“Aren’t you cold?” He asks, brushing some snow off of his pants. You shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I’ve been inside by the stove.” You answer, looking at his face. His cheeks are rosy and his little nose is red. “Come on. Let’s get you inside.”

He slips off his boots and leaves them at the back door. You hold out an arm to take his jacket from him once he takes it off, and he hands it off to you without a second thought. He tugs his beanie off, leaving his hair a little sweaty and flat and you swear, in that moment, he’s stolen your heart. 

He catches you looking at him, furrowing a brow, like he’s wondering what your problem is. You shake your head, hiding your smile and walking towards the coat rack. You leave him to explore your home, walking slowly around the perimeter and glancing at the personal details scattered throughout. As he pokes around, you stir the soup in the pot, making sure it’s simmering and the bottom of the pot isn’t burning.

“Smells nice.” He says, stepping in behind you, his hands finding your hips, his chin resting on your shoulder. You give a little hum, tilting your head to rest against his. 

“I know you try not to eat dairy, so I used coconut milk.” You say softly. He exhales softly through his nose, almost a laugh.

“Well, aren't you thoughtful?” 

It’s about ten seconds of domestic bliss before you hear the sound of Bloo’s paws pounding on the back door, scaring the two of you back to reality. Josh huffs, taking it upon himself to walk over and let him back inside.

After the two of you eat dinner, you find yourselves snuggled on the couch. Josh sits with his head tilted down, his eyes straining to focus on the screen. His hat hair is still flat as ever, endearing you to reach out and pull him closer by the back of his neck.

“Careful. You’re getting pretty handsy.” He warns jokingly as he looks up into your eyes, his own reflecting back how tired he really is. You can’t help but laugh, scratching softly at the hair on the nape of his neck affectionately.

“You’re tired.” You say quietly as he wraps his arms around your waist, nuzzling into you between your face and shoulder. He takes a deep breath in like he’s about to yawn, but doesn’t let himself. You’re not sure what time it is, but you’re feeling a little sleepy yourself.

“Are you sending me to bed?” He asks, his voice a little hoarse and slightly muffled. You try to speak, but you lose a bit of courage as you imagine the sting of rejection, especially after having spent a nice evening with him. You would hate to ruin it, but at the same time, you would hate to watch him walk out the door. So you speak anyway, nervously parroting the words he said to you a few weeks ago.

“You should stay.” 

You feel him nod as his hands lock together behind your back. He squeezes you tightly, breathing deeply again, losing the battle against his fatigue. You move your head to kiss his temple gently, then nudge him so he’ll get up. He gets to his feet slowly, stretching with his arms over his head. You see the way his belly peeks out under his hoodie, his soft skin brushed with the lightest dusting of hair. 

You yourself stand up, letting Bloo out once more while Josh heads to the bathroom. You meet him in your bedroom while you wait for Bloo, picking out some pajamas and putting them out on your side of the bed. You hear the water turn off, then see Josh slink out of the bathroom, rubbing his eyes. He gives you a little smile.

You quickly take his place, getting into your pajamas and washing up, reappearing into your room to see Josh in his briefs, answering a text as he sits on the edge of your bed. He doesn’t look up at you as you walk by, stepping out to retrieve Bloo. You quickly retrieve him, locking up the house and turning off the lights, making sure you remembered to blow out your candles too. 

Once you’re done, Bloo follows you into your bedroom, seeing Josh sitting on the side of the bed. They eye each other suspiciously.

“The dog doesn’t sleep in your bed, does he?”

Opposites. 

“No. He has his own. Don’t fret.” You say, laughing softly. You pull the covers down on your side of the bed, slipping under them. Bloo circles in his bed a few times before plopping down and sighing.

Josh follows your lead, getting comfortable. He lays on his back, lifting his arm to summon you closer. You snuggle up, resting your head on his shoulder, looking at his impossibly bright phone phone propped up on his shirtless chest. He’s about ¾ of the way through the Sunday New York Times crossword.

“I thought you were sleepy.” You say, your voice soft. His skin smells so sweet, like soap and a tinge of sweat from earlier, that you can barely resist nuzzling against him again.

“Gotta finish. I’ll lose my streak.” He says lowly, and you can feel his voice rumble through his chest where you’re resting. “This is what I was doing when you called me.”

You look at the next clue that pops up on the screen.

“Three letters… Lunchbox favorite?” He says, like he’s unsure. The two of you think in silence for a moment.

“PBJ.” You mumble, and you watch as he uses his thumb to type while he holds his phone from the top of the screen with the rest of his hand. 

“Ahhh. Good one.” He says, seeing the letters turn blue. 

You answer a few more before you doze off, the warmth of his chest and the sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep as he nibbles on his lip in thought, determined to keep up his streak.

When you wake in the morning, it’s not on your own. The sun is barely up, peeking through the curtains of your bedroom. Josh is behind you, his hands wandering with a sleepy languidness across your body. He doesn’t linger anywhere too long, touch anywhere too aggressively, but it’s clear he’s trying to wake you up.

“Morning.” You whisper, a tired smile tugging at your lips.

Feeling and hearing that you’re finally awake, he pushes you gently onto your back, moving over you. You look up at him, and close your eyes again, putting your arm over your face while he situates himself between your thighs. 

You hook your leg over him, pulling him a little closer. He leans over onto his arm and you feel him tremble a bit, then hiss as if he’s in pain. You move your arm to look at him, and his brow is knitted up.

“You okay?” You ask, still whispering. 

“Sore.” He says, rolling his shoulders and neck, like he didn’t realize he was hurting until he started. 

He tugs at your shorts, unrelenting despite his discomfort. You let him toss them to the floor and watch as he pulls your leg over his hip, kneeling down a little lower before freeing himself from his briefs. You look down to see him hard and heavy in his own hand, the wide head of him making your stomach flutter. 

“Don’t hurt yourself…” You say, looking up at his puffy face, his lips pouty from sleep. 

“I’ll be gentle.” He says, leaning in to capture your lips in a sleepy kiss, his movements slow and sweet. When he lifts his head, he spits into his hand and strokes himself a few times, which you think is considerate despite the raunchiness of the action.

He pushes into you slowly and you wince slightly as he stretches you, listening to the sound of his breathing as he sinks in further. You can’t help the whimper that escapes you as he thrusts, slow and shallow at first. He buries his head in your neck, taking his time with you.

He’s gentle like he said he would be, which you originally thought was for his own sake, but you have grown to realize is benefitting both of you. He starts to push a little deeper, feeling you adjust to him, getting wetter and taking him with less resistance. 

He lifts his head to kiss you again, his lips lazily locking with yours as he thrusts, now pulling out almost fully before pushing all the way back in, never breaking the kiss. He breathes harshly through his nose, obviously exerting himself when he said he wouldn’t. 

“Fuck, you feel good. I’m not gonna last long.” He admits, ducking his head back down to kiss your throat and neck, his lips latching on to a sensitive spot that makes you clench around him as he drags it between his teeth. 

You cry out at the feeling, which only encourages him more, and he grabs your leg to push it up closer to your chest. The angle nearly knocks the breath out of you, and paired with how he’s picking up his pace, you know you’re done for. His hips start to snap into you as he chases his own end, pushing you over the edge yourself. Your back arches off of the bed as you soak him, squeezing around him, your sleep-laced voice releasing a raspy moan that bounces off the walls of your bedroom. 

“God, you take me so well…” he groans, his voice strained as his hips start to stutter. It’s not long before he’s spilling into you, buried to the hilt, stilling himself. You can feel him pulse inside you, moaning into your pillow as he finishes. His hips jerk a few times before he finally lets go of your leg, resting on top of you and catching his breath. 

It’s silent for a good while before he rolls off of you. You feel like you could definitely sleep longer, but you’re not sure if your schedule allows.

“What time is it?” You ask, seeing he’s already sitting up and on his phone. 

“Ten to seven.”

“Why would you not just say 6:50?” You ask quietly with a bit of a playful attitude, pulling your covers back over you.

“Okay, it’s 6:50, smartass. You know what time it is either way.” He grumbles with a smirk, standing up. “I have a meeting at 8. Mind if I use your shower?” 

“As long as you’re quiet.” You mumble back, letting your eyes flutter closed. You nestle into your bed, despite feeling a little sticky and sweaty. You have to shower before class and change the sheets anyway.

Your eyes are closed, but you hear him close the bathroom door and start the water. You’re happy to get another half hour of sleep, Josh quiet as a mouse as he gets himself ready and leaves without waking. 

You’re woken too soon by Bloo’s cold nose on your hand, whining softly to be let outside, since Josh didn’t know to do it. 

After throwing on your robe and stripping your bed, you hop into the shower. You turn up the hot water, washing your hair and feeling your muscles relax. You let your mind wander as you think through your class schedule, what you have to bring with you, what you want for lunch, what your plans are this weekend.. If today is the 9th, Saturday is… the 14th.

Valentine’s day. 

You shake your head and try to forget the thought, not allowing yourself to have any expectations of him. Valentine’s day is for couples. 

You turn off the water and pull back the shower curtain, looking at the mirror. At the top is a message written in lipstick, the handwriting neat and boyish, making your heart lurch in your chest. 

“Later Sunshine - xoxo”

Your week goes on and Thursday proves to be the day from hell. Your classes were awful, your mood was miserable, and the traffic on your drive home was enough to make you cry out of frustration. You finally get home and trudge through the slush left from the snowstorm earlier in the week, up the steps of your porch. When you get to your front door, there’s a big red box on your welcome mat, a white satin bow tied neatly around it. You bend down to pick it up, inspecting it for any kind of card or label, but there doesn’t seem to be one on the outside. 

You bring it inside, Bloo sniffing at it. “Move, buddy. Please…” You say, frustrated, putting the box down on the kitchen table. You walk back to the door to slip off your shoes, hang up your keys and jacket, then shuffle back over to the table.

Tugging on the bow, it comes undone and you pull it from under and around the box. It’s not very heavy, so you’re not sure what to expect as you lift off the top. The lid slides off of the glossy box with ease. Whatever is inside is wrapped in delicate white paper and there’s a note on top. It’s custom stationery, the paper thick and smooth.

— FROM THE DESK OF JOSHUA M. KISZKA —

‘Saw these and thought of you, Cherry. xoxo’

You put the note down on the table and pull open the tissue paper. Laying side by side are two sets of fairly expensive looking lingerie, both drastically different.

On the left is a baby pink set. The bra has ruffles along the straps and under the cups, white lace with pink detailing. The cups themselves are unlined and translucent mesh, the edges scalloped, and along the mesh fabric are little red cherries printed all over. The bottoms are cheeky and ruffled around the waistband to match, adorned with the same cherry motif as the bra.

The set on the right is deep midnight black, and with a more careful eye, you realize that it’s incredibly similar to the other one, but instead of ruffles and cherries, the black one has intricate lace inlays and the mesh is dotted with tiny clusters of embroidered stars. It’s more daring, mysterious and way less sweet. 

There’s no mistaking he sent two of them for a reason. That little smartass.

You take the note and fold it up, hiding it away in your textbook on the table. You can’t help but smile as you look down at both sets again, shaking your head and putting the lid back over the box.

As Saturday rolls around you find yourself reaching for the black lacy thing so generously gifted to you by Jake’s very own twin. It feels a little wrong, you’ll admit, but this is what he bought it for, right? With a fresh blowout falling over your shoulders, you slide your legs through the skimpy shred of fabric, admiring yourself in the mirror and applauding Josh for his incredible taste. 

Fastening the bra behind your back, you take another look at yourself before pulling the deep red dress over your body. It stops short at the middle of your thighs, a long set of buttons fastened down the center of the dress. Knowing the buttons were part of the fun your first night together, you thought this dress would be the perfect reminder of how you ended up here in the first place. 

Your phone ringing on your bed pulls you from your thoughts, and a blush slides across your cheeks as you see Jake’s face on your screen. You tap the green button to answer the call.  “Hello handsome…”

“Hey baby… You almost ready for me?” he asks, a little shuffling in the background. 

“Mmm, almost, just getting your surprise ready for later.” you answer playfully. 

“My surprise, huh?” he asks, hearing his keys jingle in his hand. 

“Yeah, I think you’ll like this one.” you taunt. 

“How long do I have to wait for said surprise?” he questions.

“Oh, just a little while. You on your way?”

“Gettin’ in the car now. Be there in a second.” he answers, hearing his car door shut behind him. 

“See you then.” you say ending the call. 

You smooth the dress over your hips, and just knowing what lies beneath it is enough to have you feeling worked up. You slip on your heels, under Jake’s specific orders to ‘dress up’, and not a minute later was his fist knocking on your door. 

With a spray of perfume you’re dashing to the front door, anxious to see him after almost two weeks apart. Twisting the lock you instruct Bloo to back up, and as his nails click across the floor you open the door to possibly the most handsome version of Jake you’d ever seen. Dressed to the nines in a pair of wool trousers, a black button down shirt, and a matching wool waistcoat. A cluster of silver necklaces hung down his chest, and a pair of dark glasses shielded his eyes. He pushed them up into his hair as he saw you, a shocked look on his face as he took in the sight of you. 

“Baby…” it came out almost breathless as he directed you backwards into the house. His hands instantly enveloped your waist, pulling you into him as his lips met yours. “Fucking christ.” he swallowed hard. His hand traveled down your leg, and back up, sliding under the skirt of your dress until his finger was grazing the straps of your thong. 

“My, my, what do we have here?” he asks, running his fingers along the mesh fabric.

“You’ll find out later, if you’re good.” you respond flirtatiously.

“What if I want to find out now?” he growls against your neck. 

“Then you’d spoil your surprise.”

“Just a peek…” he pleads. “I want to see you so I can fantasize about the filthy things I want to do to you when we get home.” 

You snicker, stepping back and lifting your dress just enough to let him see the scanty fabric of your barely there panties. You spin, as his jaw drops to the floor. “Do not tell me the bra matches, or we will not be making it to that reservation.”

“Okay, then I won’t tell you.” you wink, feeling his hand reattach to your bare hip.

“Fuck, are they–they’re mesh. See through…and are those…are those little stars?” he asks, feeling the fabric with his fingers.

You nod and give him a shy smile. “You like?”

“I swear to god it’s like I picked them out myself. It’s–it’s exactly what I would have picked. You did fuckin’ good baby. It’s a shame I’m going to rip them off of you at the first opportunity.” he pauses, “Or maybe I’ll just fuck you with them on, hm? Would you like that? My naughty little thing…”

You feel a rush of guilt wash over you at his words. Exactly what he would have picked. Of course. Josh knew him better than anyone. Then you realize this is exactly why he did it. He knew you’d wear them for Jake, but you’d be thinking of him the whole time. Asshole.

“I’m glad you love it baby.” you answer, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I just need to grab my purse and we can go.” 

He releases you, adjusting himself in his pants as you walk to your bedroom to grab your things. You can hear him in the living room, flipping through channels on the TV. You search your room for your phone, but remember throwing it to the coffee table as he knocked on the door. Your heels click loudly against the floor as you pull your coat over your shoulders. “You ready?” 

“Yep, just getting this situated for Bloo.” he says, raising the volume on the TV. You look at the screen to see Mariska Hargitay shouting into her cell phone.

“Huh?”

“The TV. He likes the TV on when he’s alone.” he states, as if you were crazy to question him. You laugh and shake your head as he places the remote on the coffee table. “He likes Law & Order babe, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You’re insane.” you laugh, reaching for your phone. He grabs it for you, preparing to hand it to you as it buzzes in his hand. His eyes flash to the screen and he furrows his brow, letting his eyes flick up to yours. 

“Uh, Josh just uh…Josh texted you.” he says, a flash of confusion in his voice. 

“What?” you ask, grabbing the phone from his hands. Your eyes flick down the message. Jesus Christ Josh, why now?

Josh

6:42pm: I think I’ll need to see both to leave a five star review…

With Jake over your shoulder you type a quick reply, to ease his suspicions.

You

6:43pm: Wrong number

“He does this all the time. He texts me on accident at least once a week. Must have two Y/N’s in his phone.” you say, pretending to be confused as you shove it into your bag. 

“Hmm. Yeah that seems like him. Well, let’s go. Don’t want to be late.” he says, placing his hand on the small of your back and ushering you out the door. You knew you were going to have to lay it on thick tonight to make up for his brother’s obviously purposeful intervention. “Bye Bloo, be a good boy!”

As you slip into the front seat of his car, you quickly pull your phone from your purse, feeling it buzz again on your walk to the car. You roll your eyes as you read Josh’s messages and Jake slides into the driver’s seat. 

Josh

6:45pm: Mhmm…Have fun with Jake tonight. Let me know if you need me to come back and do any more plowing. 

Josh

6:45pm: Shoveling** whatever 😏

You lock your phone and stash it in your purse for the night, effectively pushing Josh to the wayside as you feel Jake’s hand slide across your leg, “Ready, beautiful?”

You link your fingers with his and squeeze his hand. “Yep, I’m all yours.”

MARCH

You hop out of your Uber, thanking the driver politely before scurrying to the front door of the bar. You were pulled from your trash TV marathon while trying to study for an exam. Josh insisted you come out and have a drink, claiming you’ve been a hermit for too long. He was half right. The only people you had had a conversation with in the last week were either your classmates, your mom, or him and his brother. 

You pull open the door and step in, the music a little loud. It’s a Thursday night, but that doesn’t really matter in Nashville. You scan the bar, then the tables, then the booths, searching for the most easily identifiable person you know. But you don’t spot him anywhere. 

As you’re about to give up, you feel a pair of arms slip under your own and around your waist. He laughs softly in your ear and you smell his cologne, spinning around to look at him. He’s definitely a little drunk, his smile wide and his cheeks tinted pink.

“I can’t believe I lured you out of your den.” He jokes, yelling over the music. 

“Very funny.” You say, rolling your eyes with a smirk. “I need a drink.” 

With a nod of his head, Josh directs you towards the bar. You follow close behind, hopping up onto the stool next to the one he chooses for himself. 

“I’m here with some friends, but I want you to myself for a little while.” He says, leaning his elbow on the bar in your direction. “Get whatever you want. It’s on me.” 

You give him a little glance, half flirty, half snarky. 

“You didn’t tell me I’d have to meet new people.” You say, rolling your eyes. “I would have gotten dressed up… or stayed home..” 

“You have to talk to someone that isn’t your dog, Cherry. Plus, they’re good people. You think I keep bad company?” 

“You are bad company.” You quip, only to be interrupted by the bartender stopping over to place two coasters in front of you and take your orders. 

“I’ll have a tequila soda with some extra, uh, limes please.” He says. “And whatever she’s having. The tab is under Kiszka.”

You curse yourself as your brain immediately reminds you that if you were with Jake, he would have ordered for you. You wonder where he is. What he’s doing. Who he’s with. 

“And for you?” The bartender asks, snapping you out of it. 

“Oh, um, I’ll have the same, please. Thanks.” 

One drink leads to two, then the bartender drops off a third, and you’re nursing it slowly. 

“I’m glad you came out. It’s nice to see you somewhere besides my bed.” He flirts, shooting you a little wink. 

Your filter is no longer functioning after two and a half mixed drinks. You raise a brow at him, tilting your head with a smirk. 

“I’m sure it is.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He questions, and you snicker a little. 

“Just that you’re a voyeur and I bet you’d bend me over this bar if it wouldn’t get you arrested in all 50 states and 193 countries.” 

You see him run his tongue along his teeth, shaking his head softly like he’s been caught. He leans in a little closer. 

“And I bet you would let me.” 

You feel your cheeks heat up, pinching your straw between your fingers and taking a sip. You don’t really have anything to say to him because he’s right. 

“Admit it.” He pushes. “I want you to say it.”

You take a shaky breath, squirming in your seat. 

“Yeah. I would let you.” You cross your legs, trying to settle yourself down. 

“You’d let the whole bar see you stretched pretty and pink around me? Bent over like you were the other day, taking me so well?” 

“You better stop.” You warn, an empty threat. Your cheeks are pink and you’re fighting a dirty grin. 

You see him look over his shoulder, then back at the bar in front of him. He finishes the last sip of his drink, putting his glass down on the shiny wood bar top. 

“Let’s go.” He commands, hopping off the barstool. He takes your glass out of your hand, putting it next to his on the counter, pulling you out of your seat as well. 

“Where are you taking me?!” You ask as he pulls you through the bar. 

He doesn’t answer your question. He wordlessly opens one of the bathroom doors, ushering you in with a forceful push on your lower back.

“Are you crazy?!” You ask, watching him lock the door. The room is small, smells like industrial cleaner, and there are paper towels all over the floor. You stare at him, trying to predict his next move.

He’s on you before you can expect it, pushing you back against the sink. He kisses you hard, your surprised hum fighting against the sound of the muffled music coming from outside the door. 

“Yeah. I am.” He says dryly. “Now take your panties off or I’ll just push them to the side and make a mess of them.” He mumbles against your lips, and it’s clear he means business. You slip them off as he nips at your neck, his hands sliding up your shirt to touch the warm skin at your waist. He quickly lifts you onto the sink, the cold porcelain pulling a little squeak from you. 

“Come on, Cherry. Spread those thighs for me…” He says, stepping closer to you. He unbuttons his pants, tugging them down. His breath is warm against your lips as you can taste the lingering extra lime on his tongue.

Your body submits to him as you brace yourself with your arms behind you, spreading your thighs. He shoves your skirt further up your body, his eyes lowered between your bodies. He drags himself through your wetness, a little chuckle passing his perfect, pouty lips.

“You’re soaked, Cherry… Calling me the voyeur when you’re messing your pretty panties thinking about getting filled to the brim on your barstool.” He mumbles, slowly pressing inside you. You shake your head, rolling your lips between your teeth to silence yourself. 

“I think you’re secretly a little slut. You blush and shake your head..” He says, nudging inside you. “Scolding me when my words make you all warm between your thighs… Josh!” He says, a little mockery of your voice. “You like it. It’s why you can’t stay away. You’d do anything I asked.”

You watch him carefully, unable to argue as he disarms you more with every inch of himself he slides into you. When he’s finally buried to the hilt, he stops, as deep as he can go, savoring the feeling of the head of his cock pressed tight against your cervix. 

Your jaw drops at the sensation, your mouth open and inviting as your brow knits together in pleasure and pain. He looks at your lips, then your eyes, then back to your lips, his mind working. Before you can compose yourself, he takes the opportunity to spit directly in your mouth, giving you a filthy smirk when he pulls back, wiping the remnants from his lips and chin with the back of his hand.

 He watches as you swallow it with a moan. 

“That’s what I thought.” He gives a little nod, then a quick raise of his brows. His devilish smirk grows, the wheels turning in his head. “I’ll see what else I can give you… if you’re so thirsty.” He snaps his hips into you, making you see stars.

He seems to remember where the two of you are. He picks up a quick pace, his strokes shallow and fast. He knows your body well enough to take the initiative and move his thumb down to brush broad strokes over it and help you along. 

His eyes are locked on to yours, the warmth of his brown irises making his lust-blown pupils look even bigger. You feel like you’re on fire- the nervousness seeping through you mixing with the way he knows just how to touch you is making your head feel foggy. The tension of your orgasm is threatening to snap any second now, your moans bouncing off of the dingy bathroom walls. Your brain is void of everything but him, your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer, as if he’s not already inside you, pressed against you. You lick into his mouth as he breathes heavily, his thrusts becoming inconsistent. You scratch gently at the hair on the nape of his neck, a wordless check-in. 

“Gotta hurry up.” He says, and you know that’s his prideful way of telling you he’s not going to last, but he’s disguising it as a fear of getting caught. “Come on, Cherry... Say my name.” 

The demand breathes out of him with enough aggression to make your stomach flip. It helps you along, pulling a gasp from your chest before you release the breath to the tune of his name, needy and desperate as you fall apart for him. 

He barely waits for you to come down, grunting as he pulls out of you.

“On your knees, come on.” He encourages in a rush, stroking himself. You don’t hesitate to hop off the sink and drop down to your knees, looking up at him. “Open up, Cherry. Can’t… fuck… can’t wait.” He says, his fist slipping quickly along the length of him.

You part your lips and it’s seconds before he’s spilling over your outstretched tongue, whining and cursing as he does. You swallow all of it down, licking along the underside of him, not letting any of it go to waste. You swipe your thumb under your bottom lip, gathering every drop. 

He looks down at you with a smile, his face flushed, his chest rapidly rising and falling. His expression is almost unreadable, a mix between what you think is something sweet, maybe pride, and something filthy. He offers a hand to help you up and you start to fix your skirt.

“Why don’t we go get you another drink, hmm?” He says, zipping up his pants and tugging his shirt down. 

When the two of you reemerge, he walks towards a table with six or seven people already seated around it. He seems to freeze for a second, stopping in his tracks. He looks back at you, then at the table again. He slides into the booth and makes some room for you. 

He hops right into a conversation, catching up quietly with the girl to his right. He doesn’t bother to make any introductions, leaving you to fend for yourself at the end of the table. It’s a little jarring and you feel incredibly out of place. 

“Do you want me to flag our server down so you can get a drink?” The guy next to you asks. He has dark hair and an impressive mustache. You smile politely, shaking your head. 

“I’m okay for right now. Thank you, though.” You say, your voice louder than usual to make it over the music. 

He turns away, focusing on the group again as they all chat. You’re seemingly alone again, observing Josh and the girl next to him, who seem to have a bit of chemistry. 

“Yeah, let’s get you a drink,” you hear him say to her. He looks around the table for a menu, but doesn’t see one. 

“Oh. Here.” You push the plastic stand in front of you towards him. It holds a slip of paper with a QR code asking patrons to scan for the menu. 

“I hate these fucking things,” he grumbles, snatching it from your hand and pulling out his phone. “Doesn’t anyone appreciate physical media anymore?” 

You roll your eyes. He’s such an old man, whining about kids these days and their cell phones. 

“This bar caters to millennials. Most people our age are constantly on their phones anyway.” You add, and it feels like the rest of the table looks at you. You shrink a little. 

“It’s so much more meaningful to hold something in your hands. That’s why we release physical copies of all our music. It’s just… it’s different. It doesn’t feel the same to stream something, to just press a button. It’s why people have started collecting vinyl and using film again.” Josh answers, slightly argumentative. 

“Okay, sure, maybe a majority of your fans, but that’s still a minority when you look at people in our age bracket and younger.” You say, confident that he’s misunderstanding you. “In one of my classes, we were…”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure Vanderbilt has taught you all about being completely out of touch.” He bites, and you balk at his statement. What’s gotten into him? 

“Oh, god. You go to Vanderbilt?” The girl next to him asks, stifling a judgmental laugh. You feel your cheeks flush red as the man who just fucked you in the bathroom and his little blonde girlfriend embarrass you in front of five other strangers. 

“I do, yeah.” You answer, feeling small. 

You look at Josh, your eyes a wordless plea for him to stick up for you, to come to your defense. 

When you see her lean over to whisper in his ear, and his only reaction is a laugh, you know it’s time for you to leave.

“Speaking of… I do have classes tomorrow. I think I better head out.” You say, pulling out your phone to call an Uber home. You push out your chair and stand up, trying to get Josh’s attention. “Have a nice night, guys.” You say to the rest of the table, realizing you can’t even say it was nice meeting them, because technically you didn’t. A few of them give you little waves and say quiet but friendly goodbyes. 

Josh seems to have forgotten you exist. He scrolls through the menu on his phone, pointing out a drink to the blonde next to him. He doesn’t even bother to say goodbye. 

You turn on your heel, cheeks burning as you try and hold it together until you’re out the door. 

After the incident at the bar, you give Josh a bit of the silent treatment. He attempted to reach out the next morning, but you left him on read. He was cold to you so soon after you were intimate that it pushed you away. Maybe that was his goal. Either way, you were left feeling like you have had enough of him.

Part of you is a little thankful, because Jake is back in town and you’re looking forward to spending some time with him, giving up the juggling act for a while. 

You wake up on Sunday morning, having already made arrangements with Jake for him to come take Bloo out for their usual run now that it’s a little warmer. Getting out of bed and walking into the kitchen, you smell coffee. Jake came and stole your dog in the early hours and was thoughtful enough to start the coffee pot for you. You smile, tugging your robe around you a little tighter, the morning temperature a bit chilly. 

Pouring yourself a cup, you pivot to look out the window, knowing they’ll be back any moment. You blow over the rim, waiting for it to cool down. You watch the cars go by, the breeze shaking the trees outside your window. Soon enough, motion at the end of your street grabs your attention. 

You spot Bloo first, trotting at a medium speed in his harness. Behind him is Jake, jogging down the street in a fitted, long sleeved, black workout shirt with a high neckline. He’s got on some black running shorts- the short inseam of them nearly making your heart stop as you lay eyes on his perfect thighs. He slows to a stop as he approaches your house, pulling his headphones out of his ears. He pushes the stray strands of hair from his face, the rest of it tied into a bun at the back of his head. 

Bloo knows they’re home and turns to walk up the driveway on his own. Jake follows, pocketing his AirPod case and shrugging his shoulder up to wipe some sweat dripping down the side of his face. He starts fishing in his pockets for his keys, so you take a few steps towards the door, unlocking and opening it for him. 

“You’re up early,” he says, smiling as he makes his way up the steps towards you. Bloo starts to tug at his leash, eager to say good morning too. 

“Little do you know, I was asleep by 9 last night.” You answer with a smirk, unclipping Bloo’s lead and unbuckling his harness. You stand back up to look at Jake, your eyes roaming from the bottom up as you come back to your full height. 

He’s a sight for sore eyes. You drag your eyes away from his muscular thighs, making pit stops at each of his hips, noting the way the waistband of his shorts hugs him just right, meeting the bottom of his sinfully tight, moisture-wicking shirt. 

“Hear that, buddy?” He says to Bloo as he waits patiently for his treat. “She’s full of energy. Maybe she’ll play with us today.” His smile is a little devilish as he takes a treat from the jar and hands it to Bloo. 

“I was actually thinking we could go to that art show in the park. If you have time.” You say, sipping your coffee with a soft smile.

“We can do that… Mind if I shower first?” He asks, still a little winded.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I still have to get out of my robe. No rush.” you say, gesturing at yourself with your hand. He grins, pulling you in by the tie of it and placing a kiss to your lips. 

You pull away, grimacing and sputtering a little because of the sweat he just smeared on your lips and face. He chuckles, letting go of you.

“Thought you liked me sweaty?” He asks, his voice laced with faux offense. 

“It’s a little early…” You answer with a smirk as he goes walking off towards the bathroom, shaking his head. 

You drop your mug in the sink and by the time you get to your bedroom, the door is cracked and you hear the shower running. As you get ready, you pop in to grab your moisturizer and put some on before the mirror has fogged up. Behind you, you see he’s hung his sweaty clothes over the shower rod. 

“I’ll wash these while we’re out.” You say over the water, reaching on your tiptoes to grab them from where they hang. You quickly check the labels to see the washing instructions. Both bear the signature Lululemon logo and you roll your eyes at his expensive taste. “You air dry them, right?” 

“….am I supposed to?” He asks, the sound of water falling to the shower floor getting a little louder and you can imagine he’s rinsing his hair. 

“Oh my god.” You answer, stepping out of the bathroom with a laugh. 

“Thank you baby!” He calls as you go, his tone asking for forgiveness. 

You toss them into the washer on cold and then busy yourself getting ready. Tossing on a thin sweater and some jeans, you brush your hair and run a flat iron over it to fix the bumps your messy bun left in it. The water turns off and you hear him squeeze the excess water out of his hair. As you finish your light makeup, you hear him call out to you. 

“Y/N?” He says, and you hear some concern in his voice. 

Knowing he probably forgot to grab a towel, you grab one from the linen closet and jog over to the door. When you push it open, you see he already has one wrapped around his waist. He’s staring at the upper right hand corner of your mirror. 

Your eyes follow the direction of his eyes and you see that his hot shower has fogged up most of the surface, but the message Josh left for you, despite being wiped away, is clear as day. You must have left it too long before cleaning it off and the oils from the lipstick stuck to the glass, keeping it from fogging up. 

When he finally speaks, you feel your stomach sink.

“…Is that Josh’s handwriting?” 

“What?” 

You know you’ve doomed yourself immediately. He spoke clearly and his question made sense, so it’s obvious you only said that to stall and come up with an excuse. 

“You heard me.” He says, and his tone makes your blood run cold. 

“Uh, it is. Yeah,” you admit, nodding. 

“Why the fuck is he leaving you notes on your bathroom mirror? When was he even here?” He asks, stepping over the lip of the shower and getting closer to you. He’s studying your face. He wants to know if you’re lying. 

“When he came to clear my driveway. When you were away in February.” 

You can see he’s angry and the gears in his head are turning. You need to cover your ass. You need to explain yourself. 

“He came over and it was snowing badly. He shoveled for a long while and I made dinner but it wasn’t done in time and he was all sweaty from shoveling and so he showered while I finished up.” You say, your words coming out fast and full of fear. 

Jake still doesn’t say anything, but you can see he’s mad. His chest and neck are red, his eyes narrowed as he puts pieces together. 

“You know how he is,” you offer, tilting your head, trying to convince him. You’re on the verge of over explaining. 

“How is he?” Jake asks, a nasty bite in his words despite his chilling calmness. “Enlighten me.” he purrs, leaning a hand on the edge of the sink. 

You blink, feeling like you need to choose your next words carefully. It takes you a minute to string them together. A minute too long. 

“Answer me!” Jake shouts as he slams his fist on the counter, making you jump. Bloo hears from the other room and barks, his nails skidding across the hardwood floor as he runs to get to you.

Jake’s eyes flash to the doorway, seeing Bloo assessing the situation. Bloo doesn’t growl, but he seems to be on the verge of barking again, a rumble coming from him against your leg. You immediately see guilt paint Jake’s features as he lifts his hand from the counter and runs it through his hair. 

“He… he likes to cause trouble. He probably wanted you to… to see it.” You try to keep yourself from stammering. Jake blinks, looking at you flatly. 

“Why would he do that? He knows we’re not together.” Jake says, calling your bluff. “I find it odd that he would have any interest in making me think you two are fooling around if he knows things aren’t like that between us. What trouble would that cause?”

You take a shaky breath, shrugging nervously and shaking your head a little. You don’t know what to say. You go to speak, but he cuts you off.

“Oh my god…You fucked him, didn’t you…” he breathes, shaking his own head in denial of the image his mind was conjuring up. 

“Jake–” you start, but again he shakes his head, silencing you as he only wants to hear the answer you couldn’t bear to admit.

“Tell me now, Y/N. Did you fuck my brother?”

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