Unhappy Endings

Losing my mind and trying to lose weight

[sinkingskies]

“they turn their words to knives,
 throw them just at her.
 they slit her head
and pierce her heart. 
they never did love her. so she turns her words to knives,
 slices just at her.
 she falls down to her knees
 dripping blood beneath her sleeves.
 she longs to fall asleep.”

— knives (No. 1)

[lyrics-and-music]

Wavering // Casey

[irregular-reflections216]

[sad-lil-muffin]

I get stressed, then I don’t eat, then I enjoy not eating and get stressed

[get-a-shift-on]

I don’t think I’m okay without antidepressants?

[sad-lil-muffin]

A year later, still don’t think I’m okay without

[sad-lil-muffin]

Two years later

[sad-lil-muffin]

My hands are shaking my breath is uneven and my mind is twisting oh how I hate this

[sad-lil-muffin]

I'm so sick of feeling alone

[sad-lil-muffin]

Down the line I may heal, I may move on and I may laugh, But today I shall cry For suffering is essential to humanity And to stay alive is to feel pain. Without pain, we are nothing but corpses, Wandering without fear or love or longing. Death comes to us all But life comes to a lucky few

[sad-lil-muffin]

You all abandoned me during the dark times, then complain that I don't hang out anymore

[weightisnotjustanumber]

[sad-lil-muffin]

My mind is completely alone. I suppose that's the point, but at this stage my depression is feeling less like an illness and more like an inescapable abusive partner. Where I go, it follows and destroys. It weaves it's way into every aspect of my life, every relationship, every moment of every day, and it leaves bruises and broken bones that never truly repair. Even if my skin didn't still bare the scars, the tell tale signs will never leave me. I'm a part of the greater depression now which is sweeping our world. I'm just another messed up mind too faulted to be cured. Another number, another statistic of mentally ill, incapable, sad girls who punish themselves to feel anything. An ounce of emotion is worth as much to me as a million euro is to the population. I'll never be fixed, always the dysfunctional member of society, dependant on those I try to surround myself with. I will never be loved, never be wanted, never be accepted because I am not one of the normal people.

[gucciluxe-deactivated20171106]

if ur gonna date me u gotta be comfortable with a lot of casual silence bc i just never fucking talk

[sad-lil-muffin]

I tried to be good and kind and now I've lost a friend and I really really wanna draw blood

[cathagbheag]

If u wanna be my friend u have to understand that sometimes I can’t cope with conversations. And just because I’m on tumblr effectively shouting into the void but not replying to your message doesn’t mean I hate u it just means that the thought of talking to anyone in depth is extremely overwhelming

[sixpenceee]

This is Portroe Quarry in Tipperary, Ireland. It’s now flooded but it’s a popular location for scuba divers with depths to the region of 40 meters available

[get-a-shift-on]

Birthday aesthetic