My Humor And Daily Life

I'm funny sometimes

[screenshotsofdespair]

[buckybarnes123456-deactivated20]

are you http because ://

[humorrelated]

friend: i'll pick you up at 5

clock: 5:01

me: wHeRE teh fuKc

[lubricates]

someone: tell me about yourself

me: don't know them sorry

[hypnotic-flow]

date me so we can mean mug people together

[prudeghost-deactivated20141020]

*meets u at a party* small talk is for posers, rate yr current level of existential dread from 1 to 10, let’s be emotionaly intimate forever starting now

[kant-deactivated20190908]

you know what? because personally i don’t

[dspressed]

I am, unfortunately, all panic and no disco

[autisticsprout]

skills include:

going to bathroom 2 hours after deciding to go to bathroom

staying awake all night for literally no reason

being on the ground

snack

[blendinblandin-archive]

me, buying things i don’t need: this is going to solve everything

[tymps2005-deactivated20140827]

*wakes up* what the fuck

[blairwitchdiaries-deactivated20]

i’m oscillating between dimensions y’all want anything

[lzbth-deactivated20150219]

swag won’t pay the bills but apparently neither will your degree

[minimalyzed]

replacing my heart with another liver so i can drink more and care less

[beautyfshn]

sorry for ignoring you i was mentally dead

[zunlight-deactivated20161119]

naked iphones r beautiful but at what cost

[maliciousmelons]

Seeing where your elementary school friends end up is always fun.