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I don’t know where you are

Or where is your car

I

I’m way too fucked up mentalliy

I never really belong anywhere but it’d be nice to

I guess I do choose the wrong people for my life

F U emeralda Quimbar (“it’s not like that at all!” Gangs up with jazmine)

F U jazmine (“you’re annoying” and hangs up w “ezzie”)

F U Melanie (“I need space from iyleen”)

F U DIANA Trevizo (her theatre friends were more important, yea, there’s a reason I called her a b*txh)

F U erica (left me alone in another city and complained she had to help me “I have depression too u can’t come to me”)

F U Bryanna (claims I hit her. Idk. I was drunk and young)

F U monica (choosing her gf and ganging up with bree)

F U Kelly lily (I felt lonely and needed friends and only trusted men after fkd up gfs and yes I take accountability for something I felt out of control on)

F U cousin (choosing another cousin over me)

F U EXES FOR HAVING ME QUESTIONING MY WORTH EVEN MORE.

F U close friends I’m supposed to have and still choose someone else to call “best friend”

Take accountability too, jerks.

I had so much love for u. But you never loved me.

Learn what love is before you say u love someone.

I have borderline PD now. And I’m schitzo. F u.

Diagnosed 1 year and half ago

Got help for a year

Multiple inpatient trips

I don’t get close to anyone, but I love strangers more than anyone close to me.

I know u got ur own problems

But

I pray u get success, but there’s no way you’ll have a bigger success than me.

. Bc of u I can’t tell who actually loves me.

I need help? I got it, get it too.

I can’t sleep, my eyes are like

#traumatized eyes

Man that song got me through one of my biggest biggest heartbreaks.

My memory is coming back, but I really wanted to feel again…. I couldn’t stand not smiling at good news. I still get scared of good news though.

Black holes cover up my eyes

Hopefully I won’t wake up this time

I don’t care if I am a freak

I’m definitely not a loser, but my voices tell me I’m being one when I hold a grudge, or cry about my failures.

#Spotify

I want everyone I’ve ever met to know, I think about you all the time. I’m sorry I couldn’t reach out. I’m scared. I’m sorry I couldn’t respond. I’m scared.

But atleast I never left you on read.

Pls be patient with people who don’t respond on social media.

Ok I watch reels? Do u know how easy it is to be distracted by a video and know that’s my safety zone ????????????

Show me you are safe, tell me you are safe. My brain is afraid of hurting you, and being hurt. I love people I knew and met from afar, I can’t mess anything up I can’t mess anything up I can’t mess anything up I can’t mess anything up I can’t mess anything up

God whispered in my ear to keep quiet of it protecting me. Thy knows I can handle thy energy. Why must the people I loved have to be so dangerous.

God wants to spread the word of love, and God is unheard…. Because people who believe in God, still leave others alone without trying or understanding coming with judgement and worry about themselves in the end.

God doesn’t want that :c thy wants us all to hold each others hands. Thy wants us to hold eachother ! Why must we bicker! Why must we ignore 😭

God told me to take it easy but it’s so hard my nervous system loves the chaos it strives on since I was 13 and 7. Fingers were pointed at me and I was never able to explain myself. I just threw my hands. I couldn’t use my words. I couldn’t talk. Sometimes I couldn’t move.

#Spotify

God forgive me, GOD FORGIVE ME.

My life is so precious, why can’t I see what’s in front of me and not what happened in the past.

Worries

Heart beat

Fast fast fast it goes.

Spiral spiral spiral

I go

Help

Me

My hand

Is reaching

Pls

Grab

Me

Show me wrong from right and I’ll show you who I can be.

Savin’ me by nickelback came on

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