Rants and Raves of Mommy-hood

Becoming a New Mother

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Final Blog

Final Blog

I am so excited to be ending the school year. This morning I have just a few minutes before I need to be at my last class before finals. I will attend school only Wednesday of next week to do the finals in my math and public speaking classes. Public speaking will be no “biggy”—just a one – two minute speech on what I enjoyed and what I did not. Intermediate algebra is going to be the one I am going to be having nightmares about all week. I am already dreaming of math. I have faith in myself, but I also know that our teacher does not cover material very well and is a tough grader. Every quiz or test the class has taken, the highest score has always been around the 70’s or at failing level.

 On another note, the kids are finally in counseling. I will be taking Zoey for her second appointment on Monday and Caydin’s appointments are still up in the air. After getting home from Zoey’s intake, Caydin decided to start throwing fits again because the day wasn’t all about him. He mouthed off and told us that he didn’t want counseling and that he would just “dip” so they better run fast if they want to catch him. This is going to be interesting!

 Here’s a funny story for you:

I asked my husband if he’d buy me some chocolate ice cream because I was having what I guess is called a “craving” for it. (Even though I don’t feel I have any pregnancy cravings.) Darrell went to go get the ice cream and I asked for him to pull out some money for the landlord as well. Well, my darling husband isn’t familiar with the ATM’s that suck in your card. So, after he got his cash, he left. We had to report the card as lost/stolen and get a new one. I told him it was a good thing because now we can learn to budget our money a little better. However, now we are out of money, and do not have the new card yet. As my mom says, “you live and you learn”.

 Thank you for reading my blogs and giving me a reason to keep writing them (other than my grade for English class). I thought this assignment was pretty pointless but thanks to some love and support at least I know that it isn’t all useless. {Like talking to a wall!}

 Take care! And happy holidays! :]

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It won’t be long now!

Well, it will not be very much longer now. My year is coming to an end! This is exciting to me, believe it or not. I have been doing this blog assignment for about 9 weeks now and I can’t wait until I get to go back to a little more private of a life. This year has been a real game changer for me. I was released from jail, went to a shelter, got married, became a mom, got my first car, got a place to stay, became pregnant with my first, enrolled in school, got into an accident, got my second vehicle, about to finish the school semester and finally going to have my son very soon. (All in that order!)

This year has been very exciting to me, and many things have happened (more than just described). I have also gained a relationship with my family; my mom, my sister, my dad. Things have been looking pretty good, now that I am looking behind me. I see how far I have come and I see all the possibilities for my future.

Well, in case you were wondering about the kids, Zoey has been grounded for almost a full month now. Today she will be off of grounding little by little until she has earned all her toys and privileges back. Unfortunately, now that I am really pregnant and Caydin knows that I can’t fight, chase, or discipline him without loosing my temper, he takes advantage of it a lot lately. He just sits there and tells me, “No”. Or he runs around the house screaming and punching walls, back talking continuously. The other day, when we FINALLY were able to get him the flu shot, he took a swing at the nurse and after they realized I was pregnant and he was getting violent, they had to call in two more nurses. They still required me to help hold him down. Thankfully, on Monday they will be enrolled (FINALLY) into some counseling treatment. Both of them this time. I never realized how time consuming these things really are and I have never had to learn patience like this either.

My husband has got another award at work! I am so proud of him and I couldn’t ask for anyone that is more determined, hardworking, or someone as understanding as him. He puts up with so much from me and I love him with all of my heart.

 I am almost completely done with my classes now. I have one last speech in public speaking (which takes a total of 2-3 minutes, and is about what I enjoyed in the class). I have two more homework assignments in math class, and then the final. I also have the final in keyboarding. I have a few more assignments in English which I really need to buckle down and get on top of!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am ready to eat!

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Update on Life

           This week I have made baby shower registries at a couple stores. Darrell and I went to Target and had a lot of fun scanning items we want for Liam. I like to spend as much time with him as possible, we don’t get a lot of it. Then, I went to take my sister with me to Burlington so that my guests can have another choice of shopping (it is also much more reasonably priced). We had fun, although I would like to spend some time with my sister doing something that we are both enjoying together, just the two of us. I know that I have a lot of time to make up for since we weren’t around each other very often growing up. (Even though she is still growing up).

           My classes are coming to an end and I am excited to meet my son really soon. Every day I am counting down and realizing how quickly this year is wrapping up! Soon it will be Thanksgiving (next week), and then my baby shower, and then my birthday, Christmas, New Years, and before we know it little Liam will be amongst us. So precious and innocent! After that, Darrell and I will be celebrating our one-year anniversary. I am so glad he put up with me for this long! (I am joking of course, he knows he had better put up with me.)

           Oh yes, but back to my classes, I am hoping that I am doing as well as I think I am in this English 101 class. I know in my Public Speaking course, I have a 99% and it is not going to change since we are so near the end. I am going to assume my grade to be about a “B” in typing since I did make a lot of errors I cannot fix. In Math 121, I am going to assume my grade to be about a “C”. I will think twice before I take another accelerated math course.

           Life is going okay, although my husband is sick right now, and I just want to hold him and take care of him and make it all better. I can only imagine how painful it is going to be whenever Liam gets sick for this first time. This is my grown-up husband I want to care for like a baby. But I know he enjoys it, and I am sure I can expect to get the same results when I finally get ill.

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Oh the joys of family.

On Friday evening, Darrell’s parents got into town. I was really nervous but everything worked out good. I am thankful for meeting them, and becoming part of the family as well. These are some pretty awesome people. I made a dinner for the whole family on Tuesday night, this was about ten people eating at my house. After all the cleaning, cooking, serving, and then cleaning up afterward, I am still very sore and tired. It’s not easy when you are more than seven months pregnant. “Grandpa” and “Grandma” (to the kids, anyways) got them some shoes, and books. It was very nice. Also, they bought me a nice sized goody bag of things for the baby. I am so excited. Aunt Jackie also bought little Liam some gifts which was very nice of her and unexpected.

After all, I think this visit was a success and I cannot wait for more to come. I love them, they are all awesome. I also know that Darrell was very pleased as well.

However, I know that we are both pretty upset, and feel pretty left out that we were not invited to a dinner that occurred on Wednesday night, although the hosts were at our house on Tuesday. But hey, things happen, I guess.

I have been doing O.K. in my math class, but not as well as I wish I was doing. Currently, I am typing up this blog before heading off to class. I am a little nervous about the test coming up on Monday morning. This is the second “midterm” test we are about to have, and if I am correct, the last test as well. After this is just the finals exam. And man, I am so nervous about it. I know I have not been doing great on my tests, like I usually do in my other subjects, but hopefully I will do better now. After all, it was just a certain area of the math that I was not understanding. Everything being covered currently, is relatively easy.

 Wish me luck!

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Saturday mornings at my house.

Saturday mornings at my house are always fun. Lately I been getting up around 3 A.M. to take my husband to work and then I get to fall back asleep around five. Then it’s up and cereal for the kids at 8 o’clock and this week is a little different. Zoey continues to lies, steal and “sneak” things from us. So today, she is doing all the dishes for mom! This is not as big of a treat as it may seem. She has never done dishes in her life, until this week, and this will be her third time. The first time took her about an hour and a half. (Although, I do admit that with how upset I was with her, I let them build up.) The second time was with her dad, and this was only a couple days ago. Last night while making dinner, I found some simple saucer plates with food stuck to them, grease smeared on them, and other things I am not sure what they were. My instructions were simple, she washes, and you rinse. Making it extremely easy to figure out these washing flaws. Unfortunately, that failed. So did Wednesday night, I only ask him to make dinner once a week while I am at class. I get home, and dinner is not done. It is not even started. Oh well, life goes on. Today I am planning to get these dishes done right, even if it takes all morning. I am doubling my time with schoolwork so that I do not fall behind.

 Oh yes, and today I get to meet my mother and father in-law. Is it strange that I am nervous? I have been told that they see improvement in their grandchildren just over the phone, so I guess that is a good thing. I suppose I shouldn’t be too worried. But I still feel like a child, like I am not going to be good enough.

Oh, also, we got our new vehicle this week. And paid it off too. I am very proud of us :) bills are going to be tight. But we will make it through this together.

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My Subaru vs. His Toyota

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And I haven’t even started on Halloween....

This week has been just as, if not more, hectic as all the others! On Monday afternoon, I had been driving Darrell to work when a car rear-ended us. There is no left turn lane on Highway 95 and another driver had been stopped two cars ahead of me, waiting for an opportunity to make his turn. Unfortunately, the young driver was not paying attention and locked his brakes right before slamming into us. Thank god, we are all okay; however, I wish I knew how the other driver was doing. He is an eighteen year old who was not paying attention to the road and he was rushed to the hospital by ambulance after ‘eating’ some windshield. His car is definitely a goner and every day I am praying that my car is repairable. I am very grateful he has good insurance. Currently, we are in a rental car until further notice, paid for by Geico. This incident has sure put us back though. Darrell has pain in his shoulders and neck, mostly stiffness, and thankfully, I have minimal injuries to my wrist and hand from bracing the steering wheel as the other driver slammed into my car.

On Tuesday, I had been so busy taking Darrell to the hospital, getting my car towed to the mechanic, calling the insurance company and picking up the rental, that I had absolutely no time to clean or prepare for Zoey’s 9th birthday. Thanks to my family and friends, who got to my house before I had, everything turned out amazing. I am so glad that her cousins got to be there and I know she had a great day.

Sadly, though, she has already lost her toys. Deciding to take her dolls to school and playing with her dollhouse when it was time to be sleeping, we were forced to take them away, and add another week to her grounding. I really wish she would get it through her head that she cannot disobey the simple rules that we set for her.

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October update

Wow, so much has happened now!

I am pleased to say that for the first time, my husband has seen Liam as something other than a little spec on an ultrasound. We got 3D photos of him at our last doctor’s visit. I was able to send some to both of our fathers and give a few to my mom and sister and still have about 20 or more for myself. This made me the happiest mother-to-be in all of Yuma County! 

This week has been extremely busy to say the least! I was worried that I may have to drop my intermediate algebra course because of the fact that it is an accelerated course and I did not understand the material enough for a grade to my satisfaction. I am an honor roll student and work hard to keep it that way. With all that has been going on between helping the sister-in-law, juggling my kids’ extracurricular activities, disciplining them, planning for Zoey’s birthday party, and checking daily homework, I have very little time to cram my schoolwork into the schedule. However, I succeed at the task, and after some thinking it over and extra practice, I have decided I should be able to stick it out!

I am worried about Zoey though. With the constant stealing, lying, and inappropriate acts, I need to get her some professional help since she refuses to speak to me. This task will not be easy since I am not her “birth mother” and cannot sign any paperwork regarding her health. With Darrell’s days off being rare to mine, I do not know how quickly we can get her help. In addition, she is grounded for the next two weeks. Which is extremely hard to do when you have planned a birthday party and Halloween is right around the corner. It is hard to know how to handle that situation, but I think we will go as planned with the days in between being quiet unpleasant for her.

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New Update

           This week I have been so busy and I had almost forgot to post my weekly blog! On Monday, I started my Math 121 class at Arizona Western College. This is an accelerated course and I am extremely nervous, considering I have not been in a math class in over five years. After a few days, I recognized familiar material; however, a lot of it is new information to me.

           The kids had parent teacher conferences this week. I am extremely proud of both of my kids. Zoey is doing great in her class, meeting all expectations and taking me by surprise. I was disappointed to hear that she sucks her thumb now in class, two-to-three times a day! Now that the teacher has informed me, we decided to make a tally system and reward her for decreasing her bad habit.

           When meeting with Caydin’s teachers, I found out that he has made an enormous improvement. He still falls far below the expectations of a fifth grader; however, he is on the right path. The expectations that his last teacher set for him, have been reached six months in advance and this makes me a proud ‘mama’. During our parent teacher conference, I will admit to getting extremely upset about the iPad issue. I do not understand why Zoey’s third grade teacher allowed me to place my own restriction on her device, but Caydin’s multiple teachers look at me like I am the devil. After the vice principal asked me to share my thoughts, I about exploded with all the reasons why I feel he should not have one in the first place, and how upset I am about them not allowing me to restrict his use on the iPad. It is very upsetting that he is playing SubwaySurfers instead of educational games as promised.

           During all this hectic this week, I have found time to complete most of my school work, with the exception of the confusion in my English 101 course. Fortunately, Caydin’s parent teacher conference has influenced my argumentative essay.

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This week

This week in my life has been a little lonely. My husband is now working full-time, which means 9 hours a day for 5 days a week. When he finally has a day off he does not want to do much of anything and I cannot blame him, even though I wish he were not as tired as he is. On Monday, I will be starting a math class that will take up two hours of my time for 4 days a week for the next 8 weeks, I believe, it could be twelve. It is not easy balancing time. I am very proud of myself for getting 100%’s on all three of my speeches on Wednesday that I presented for my public speaking class. Yes, I love bragging about being a top student!

           In addition, I feel so blessed! We have been going through some hard times, still trying to get on our feet. We have been trying to get by and catch up to the point where we no longer have to rely on the help of others to know that we are going to be all right. However, for the time being, we still need assistance from others. Very slowly, we have been crawling out of this hole that we made for ourselves, so that we can become a family. I cannot wait for the day where we can start to build our mountain; we can sit on top knowing that if something comes our way we will be prepared for it. With the help and love from our friends, church, and, most of all, our family, we are the most grateful people under the sun. I am very blessed by God and so proud of my husband and children. We are getting through the storm and I can see the sky up ahead!

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Updates on the Babies

           Little Liam is quite active lately, and he likes to kick me whenever I am quiet or still for too long. Just the other day he decided to kick my rib while I did school work at the library, one of the weirdest feelings I have felt so far. Then again, I am certain there will be weirder feelings soon to come! Today as I was driving, I felt his weird sensation almost like a wave going across my abdomen, and I cannot help but wonder if he is turning up and down instead of laying sideways as he has been this whole pregnancy. Man, this boy is giving me bad heartburn. Whenever I come to get a little acid reflex, he likes to kick me immediately following the burn. I find it to be somewhat funny sometimes, as if he is hitting me for the acid reflex. I tell him, “It is not my fault! You’re the reason I have acid reflex not me.” Darrell even told the baby one day, “It’s called acid reflex, not reflex the acid.” Or something along those lines, I cannot exactly remember. (It was funny when he said it.)

           Besides the unborn baby, the kids are doing much better with their behavior, and I am especially proud of CJ for straightening up his attitude. These last few days have been nice and I know that he appreciates being able to watch movies and go to boy scouts with his friends. He has made an improvement but unfortunately, it is not a new thing. I feel soon he will be back to his bad ways but thankfully, we have an appointment on Friday to start up his services again at another agency. I know that he is just as excited as us, and that is a great sign.

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This Web site wants you to log in or sign up but after numerous attempts, it states to try again later. Let me know if you get this. ...

yes, I go this but it is anonymous. I think my teacher wants some type of post that shows on the website. I guess you do have to sign up, but no worries. Thank you anyhow :)

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My First Blogging Experience

Let’s start with a little background;

 My name is Sadie and I am 21 years old. I am not on here looking for judgement, only some advice, input, words of wisdom, ummm- acknowledgement would be greatly appreciated. This blog actually was created for the purpose of my English 101 class, so I am not expecting too much to come from it. I have been married now since February of 2015 to my husband who is 33. He has two kids from a past relationship, a boy and girl. The boy, CJ, is ten and the girl, we will call her Z, is eight years old. Since the day we were married they have both called me mom on their own terms. Their birth mother is nowhere to be found because unfortunately she is a meth addict. She has other children she has no relations with and has been an addict for most of her life. This may be the time to mention that my husband and me are both recovering addicts with no intentions of going back.

Let me be clear, this blog is not about my past addiction!

I am currently 6 months pregnant with my first, a baby boy. Aware that I am overly sensitive at this point, I am trying numerous methods to cope with my stress as well. This blog is intended for me to be able to vent out the issues that I would love to scream from the top of my lungs! My husband works full time now and I am a full time student and mother.

Lastly, this is also my first time blogging on the internet, and I am very new to the idea and don’t exactly know how it works or what to expect from readers. {If I happen to gain any readers.}