summary. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!
status. on-going !
started on / ended on. 03-10-25 / tba
tags. college!au, crack, fluff, slowburn, strangers to lovers, contains swearing, sae might be ooc sometimes (no spain era yay), kys/kms jokes, timestamps don't matter, tba
taglist. CLOSED !
# PROFILES.
β the broke and broken
β the dukes
# CONTENTS.
β’ ββ contains written parts
[ chapter titles are subject to change! ]
βΆ playlist
01. YOLO π 02. karma is a bitch
03. it wasn't me π 04. joke
05. are you my heart? π 06. blessing in disguise
SUMMARY. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!
SUMMARY. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!
synopsis. sae is a bad soulmate; you're not any better. but somehow, you two make it work.
wc. 10.9k words (idk either dun ask me)
tags. soulmate au, slice of life, coming of age, self-inflicted injury, <- you can feel your soulmate's pain and reader does that to get back at sae (he lowk deserves it idk), getting together, fluff, angst with a happy ending, banter, idiots to lovers
a/n. disclaimer that this was written by someone who despises itoshi sae. at least i did before i finished this fic. /stares into the distance/ happy birthday, sae. this will never happen again!!!!!!
You were eight when you thought you hated your soulmate.
It began in your kneesβa bright, clean sting that made your crayon drag an uneven line of maroon across the paper. Then your ankle throbbed, your shoulder ached, your fingers stiffened as if youβd been clenching them too long. You stared at your small hands in bewilderment.
By the time your mother called you for dinner, the aches had dulled to a heavy pulse. You told her your body hurt for no reason, and she only smiled.
βThatβs your soulmate trying to say hello,β she said, drying her hands on a towel before cupping your face. βYou must be feeling what they feel. Isnβt that wonderful?β
You frowned. βThey hurt me.β
She laughed softly and pressed a kiss to your nose.
βIt means youβre connected. Soulmates share something sacredβpain. What we hide from everyone else, theyβll always see.β
You didnβt understand. You thought it was stupid. If someone was your soulmate, why would they let you hurt?
Still, the pain came and went in waves. Skinned knees, twisted ankles, bruises that never showed. You got used to wincing for no reason. Sometimes youβd mutter, maybe you should be more careful, as if the stranger on the other end could hear you.
When you turned twelve, it became less about scraped skin and more about something deep and shapelessβa pressure behind your ribs, a loneliness that sat heavy in your throat. It came without warning. Some days, youβd be laughing with your friends, and suddenly youβd want to cry for reasons you couldnβt explain.
You told your mother again. She just said it meant your soulmate was growing upβthat pain changed as people did. You went to doctors, too. They told you nothing was wrong and maybe nothing was at all. But you learned to live around it, to stretch your fingers when they ached like they belonged to someone else, to lie in bed and wait for the quiet to come back.
Sometimes, before you slept, youβd wonder what kind of person they wereβthe one who hurt this much, this often.
You imagined they must fall a lot. Maybe they didnβt care about their own body the way you did. You promised yourself that when you met them, youβd tell them to be careful. Youβd tell them that their pain made it hard to draw, hard to run, and hard to breathe sometimes.
But the years went on, and you never stopped hurting.
You just learned to call it living.
By the time you turn fourteen, the pain has settled into the rhythm of your life. It comes and goes like the weather; some dull reminder that somewhere out there, someone is still running and falling and fighting the world with their bare hands.
You stop complaining about it. You stop waiting for it to stop.
Instead, you join the volleyball team.
At first, itβs just to fill your afternoonsβan excuse to be too busy to notice the phantom ache that accompanies you like a shadow. You learn to dive and sprint and spike until your arms throb and your knees burn. The other girls laugh when you groan about the drills, but the pain feels good. Itβs real. Most of all, itβs yours.
When you stagger home after practice, you think to yourself, See? I can hurt too. If your muscles ache enough, maybe you wonβt notice the other ache underneathβthe quiet one that doesnβt fade with ice packs or sleep.
It works until you dream of a boy youβve never seen before.
He stands in a wide, gleaming hall where everything is alight with movementβwheels clicking over tiles, a womanβs voice echoing over some unseen speaker. Light pools against glass walls, and the air smells faintly of metal and rain.
His face is blurred at the edges, swallowed by distance as people drift past him in waves. Somewhere in front of him, a smaller figure calls out, reaching out with a chubby little smile.
The boy hesitates, just once. Then he keeps walking.
When you wake, your cheeks are wet. Your throat aches like youβve been shouting, though you donβt remember making a sound.
For a while, you stare at the pale strip of dawn leaking through your curtains. The ache in your chest isnβt sharp, but it takes the shape of something missing. You canβt name it, but it feels too large to be yours.
When your mother knocks, you tell her youβre calling in sick. She leaves a glass of water by your bed, and you spend the morning tracing the ceiling cracks with your eyes.
It was just a dream. Just another trick of the bond.
But even when you close your eyes, you can still hear itβthe murmur of a place meant for departure, and the echo of footsteps that never turn back.
You donβt remember when the ache turned into hatred.
Maybe sometime between the late-night practices and the mornings you woke up feeling like someone had scraped you from the inside out. Maybe it was when you realized that it didnβt matter how hard you trained, or how many bruises you earned for yourself, your soulmateβs pain was always worse.
You try to ignore it, the same way you always have. You focus on the court, on your team, and the satisfying smack of the ball against your palms. But even in those moments, thereβs that flicker of something else beneath your skin.
It happens just before a match point.
Youβve been serving strong all game, riding on muscle memory and adrenaline. Interhigh season is always the most anticipated run of the year. The light in the gym is harsh, the air thick with heat and sweat. When the whistle rings throughout the court, you toss the ball, step forward, and something inside you shatters.
Not pain. Not the kind you were used to.
Itβs worse.
A hollow sound, deep and gutting, like a sob echoing through an empty room. A flash of helpless rage, of despair so wide it swallows you whole. It slams through your ribs, floods your lungs, blinds you. Your knees hit the floor before you realize youβve fallen.
You could take a twisted ankle or a bruising arm. Anything but the pure misery carving itself into your chest.
The noise around you is distant nowβmuffled shouts and sneakers squealing on varnished wood. You canβt breathe. You can only feel itβthe weight of someone elseβs ruin pressed into your chest.
Theyβre breaking.
And theyβre taking you with them.
When you come to, the world is sterile white. Your throat is raw, your eyes swollen. A nurse sits beside you with clear worry creasing her brow.
βI didnβt find anything wrong physically,β she says softly, as if that should be comforting. βNo signs of fainting, no heatstroke either.β
You stare at your trembling hands. They donβt even feel like they belong to you.
βMy soulmate,β you whisper.
βHm? What was that, sweetheart?β
You swallow hard. ββ¦My soulmate is the one doing this to me.β
The silence stretches into something poignant until you see a flicker in her eyesβrecognition, maybe even pity. She takes your shaking hands in hers and squeezes gently, as though she understands more than she can say.
For a moment, you remember your motherβs words from years ago: Soulmates share something sacredβpain. What we hide from everyone else, theyβll always see.
You want to laugh.
Because if this is sacred, then love must be the cruelest religion in the world.
Since then, youβve turned your body into a weapon.
Not because you loved the hurt, but because you want it to mean something. You want it to land back where it came from. Twofold, threefold, tenfold. Just so they can feel a fraction of what youβve had to live with.
So you trained until the edges of you were raw. You practiced serves until your shoulder ached in protest. You dove for every ball as if the court were a battleground, and you could bury your soulmate under the weight of your bruises.
Your teammates started to notice the shape you were taking. They called you relentless behind your back, admiring and alarmed in the same breath. Even your coach sat you down once after practice.
βYou look like youβre running on a grudge,β he said. βRelax. Play smart.β
You merely smiled at him like he was naive.
At home, your mother watched you stitch ice around swollen ankles and wrap your wrists every night. She worried the way mothers do, and sometimes she said the practical thingsβ eat more, sleep earlierβand other times her worry came out like superstition.
βSoulbonds arenβt cruel on purpose,β she said once, as she pressed a bowl of soup into your hands.
You wanted to spit at the word soulbond. But she looked at you with the same small faith sheβd used to kiss your scraped knees when you were a child, and the words stayed in your throat. You let her think what she needed to think. You let her hold the story that made your pain seem like destiny. It made her sleep easier.
Inside you, the resentment calcified. You stopped imagining a face when the ache sharpened. You pictured instead an absence to fill with painβa space you could punish. You served harder. You hit harder. People started worrying about you more and more, but you stopped caring.
Just like your soulmate never did.
So when Interhigh championship folded into the last set, you were all teeth and motion. You were a machine wrecking itself in the name of not being helpless. Every spike was a declaration. Every block a small, furious sermon.
You played like a monster. You didnβt listen to rhythm; you listened to vengeance. The opposing captain kept receiving your powerful strikesβand you snapped after her, lunging for one last impossible return.
You hear it before you feel it: a thud, followed by a sound like a twig breaking under strain. Your knee folds the wrong way, and the pain blooms in your bones with a clarity that makes everything else stupid and small. The world tears into a single bright, reeling point that has taken root beneath your knee pads.
You stay conscious long enough to see the scoreboard change, your teamβs chance sliding out of reach. You try to bite back the scream but it pours out of you anyway. Someone is already at your side. Your teammatesβ faces are splintered into horror as the bench dissolves into chaos. You feel hands under your thighs and shoulders, feel a stretcher, hear someone call your name like a curse.
They carry you out of the gym as the court lights throw long strips across your face. When they strap you down, the pain in your knee flares white-hot, and you bark out a laughβa sound full of spite and something like triumph.
Itβs directed at the faceless thing that had been living in your bones all your life, at whatever shadow had been siphoning you dry. It was neither poetic nor clean. It was everything youβd been holding in for years, finally thrown like a brick through fragile glass.
I hope you feel this, you muse.
Hope it haunts you forever, bastard.
The diagnosis doesnβt surprise you.
A partially torn right ACL. Not as catastrophic as it felt when you collapsed. Therapy is recommended over surgery, and recovery is more than possibleβif you care enough to walk yourself through it.
You nod when the doctor explains the regimen, and sketches out the months ahead in words like commitment and discipline and hope. You thank him because thatβs what people do when someone delivers bad news kindly. But the whole time, youβre staring at the light glinting off his pen, thinking how small the words sound compared to the noise inside your head.
He calls it an injury. You call it closure.
Because the truth is, you never loved volleyball. You loved what it gave youβa place to pour the pain until you could almost believe it was yours. But now the ache in your knee is constant and heavy and real. You no longer have to chase it. It follows you. It anchors you.
So when your coach calls a team meeting and everyone gathers in the school gym that still smells faintly of resin and defeat, you already know what youβre going to say.
Theyβre all crying before you even finish.
One of your fellow seniors grabs your hands with red eyes and snot trailing down her face. βYouβll come back next year, right? When weβre all in high school?β
You just smile. Because youβve already learned what happens to people who believe in futures.
βIβll try,β you lie.
You leave your uniform neatly folded in the locker. The air hums with nostalgia you canβt feel.
After that, your life condenses into a series of small, sterile routines: Class. Therapy. Home.
Your world is smaller now, quieter without the shriek of whistles and sneakers scraping against the floorboards. You walk with a brace that squeaks if you move too fast. Youβve learned the names of all the physical therapists on your rotation, and which ones actually care enough to look you in the eye when they ask how youβre feeling.
The pain in your knee overshadows everything elseβitβs your own brand of suffering, your own proof that your body doesnβt need the pain of your soulmate to betray you.
One afternoon, while waiting for your session, you find yourself sitting in the hospital hallway beside the vending machine that only takes coins. The walls are a muted beige, designed to soothe patients into docility. Across from you, two men are talking in low voices.
ββ¦that kid, whatβs his name again?β one says, scrolling on his phone. βThe boy genius?β
βOh, right. Sae Itoshi,β the other replies. βThe one who went to Spain. Heβs only turned sixteen, hasnβt he? Thereβs an article about him here, says heβsββ
You donβt catch the rest.
Your therapist appears in the doorway, calling your name with that practiced cheer reserved for patients whoβve stopped believing in progress. You push yourself up with a wince, your knee throbbing in familiar protest.
For a brief moment, you think about that conversation you caught in your periphery, about the name Itoshi, the word Spain. They mean nothing to you. Just noise in a waiting room, another life orbiting somewhere far from yours.
You donβt know that if youβd lingered a few seconds longer, youβd have heard the rest of it.
ββ¦suffered an injury last week, poor kid.β
But youβre already limping toward the therapy room, where pain feels simpler because at least this time, it belongs to you.
By the time you turn seventeen, the world has grown softer around the edges.
The sterile white hallways, the shrill whistle of matches, the sharp clarity of ambitionβtheyβve all faded into memory, dulled like the faint scar that curls around your right knee. Sometimes, when you run your fingers over it, you can still feel the echo of what it cost you.
But you healed. Everyone said so.
Your doctor smiled at you after the last check-up, and said you were luckyβthat it couldβve been worse, you couldβve lost more. But he didnβt know there are some pains you donβt come back from. You just learn how to walk differently with them.
You never rejoined the volleyball team in high school. You couldnβt; not after that. But some afternoons, when the last bell has long faded and the court lights glimmer against the twilight, you linger by the open doors of the gym to watch the life you could have had.
You tell yourself youβre fine. You even almost believe it.
Time has made you quieter, but also gentler. You donβt hate the world the way you used to. You donβt even hate your soulmateβwhoever they are, wherever they might be. Because hate is a heavy thing to carry forever. Somewhere along the way, you justβ¦ set it down.
Maybe thatβs why the ache faded for a while.
Itβs been months since you last felt the throb of their pain through the bond. No sudden stabs beneath your ribs, no lingering bruises that werenβt yours. Just silence.
Youβd like to think they learned to take better care of themselvesβthat, somehow, across the great, invisible distance between you, theyβd understood what youβd been trying to communicate. You imagine them finally learning how to live in a way that doesnβt bleed into someone elseβs body.
Itβs foolish, even if it comforts you.
But then you start waking in the early hours with a heavy heart, the same way it used to be before everything went wrong. The first few times, you tell yourself itβs nothingβa dream, a memory, the phantom pull of something long gone.
But it happens again. And again. And again.
Calling it pain doesnβt sound right. Itβs heavier than that. Loneliness, maybe. Despair so deep it feels like falling through someone elseβs chest.
Youβve learned to expect it the way other people expect the sunrise. While youβre rubbing sleep from your eyes, your soulmate must be winding down, thinking too much in the dark. Youβve come to accept that your mornings belong to their nights.
Until one day, they donβt.
You lie awake one evening, staring at the ceiling as the quiet presses in from all sides. Itβs unbearable, this heaviness that doesnβt belong to you. You twist in your sheets, bury your face into a pillow as though you can smother the feeling before it swallows you whole.
But it lingers. It crawls under your ribs and throbs with every breath.
Finally, when you canβt take it anymore, you whisper into the dark:
βWhat happened for you to hurt this much?β
One day in the summer, your best friend Ayane drags you to what she dubbed as "the most anticipated soccer game in the season." Her good-for-nothing boyfriend Oliver got her two tickets to see it, and youβve since learned how to say yes to things you donβt care about.
Sheβs beaming in her U-20 jersey, hair tied back with a ribbon that matches the team colors, and well, youβre just there to keep her from embarrassing herself too much.
βYouβre going to love it,β she insists, tugging your wrist through the stadium gates. βThe Itoshi brothers are facing off!β
You squint at her. βThe who?β
Ayane stops in her tracks, turning on you with a look people reserve for the hopelessly uninformed. βYou seriously donβt know? Sae Itoshi? The prodigy from Spain?β
βCanβt say I do.β
She groans. βJust watch, okay? Youβll see.β
You let her lead you to your seats, halfway up the bleachers. The air hums with thousands of voices and the metallic buzz of excitement before a kickoff. Youβve never really cared about soccer, or their prodigies, but Ayaneβs joy is infectious, so you let yourself be pulled into it.
The teams spill out onto the field and under the floodlights. The U-20 squad walks with confidence that comes from reputation alone. Blue Lock, the ragtag team of challengers, looks hungry and reckless. Youβre scanning the crowd when the announcerβs voice cuts through:
ββand the star midfielder of Japanβs U-20, Itoshi Sae!β
The moment he walks out, something inside you twists.
You donβt know what you expected from a name like that, but it wasnβt him. He moves like gravity bends a little closer around him, like the air itself has learned to make way. Under the lights, his hair burns a deep maroon, a color that shouldnβt exist outside of fever dreams, and when he glances toward the stands, the cameras catch his face.
For a moment, you forget to breathe.
Those eyesβclear and sea-green, detached in a way that feels almost cruelβmeet the lens, and your chest lurches like someoneβs hooked a hand inside it and pulled.
You press a hand to your sternum, the way someone might if theyβve just been struck. Itβs not new, this sensation, but itβs never been this immediate. This real.
Ayaneβs voice is distant, muffled by the roar of the crowd. βSee? I told you heβs insaneβ! Hey, are you okay?β
ββ¦Just got dizzy for a second,β you tell her, forcing a small laugh. βNot used to crowds this big, I guess.β
She narrows her eyes, clearly unconvinced, but the refereeβs whistle pierces the air, and the game begins before she can press further. You use the distraction to ground yourselfβthe roar of the stadium, and the buzz of tension that climbs higher with every second.
You focus on anything but the ache still coiled tight in your ribs.
The U-20 defense moves like a single organism. At its center is Oliver, cutting off every pass before it even happens. He slides in clean, rises smoother, barely sparing a glance at the forward he just stopped cold.
Ayane screams beside you, practically shaking your arm off. βOLIVER! DID YOU SEE THAT?! OH MY GOD! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!β
You laugh, startled and captivated by how loud she is. But when your eyes stray past Oliver, catching on the faint gleam of red hair just ahead, the pang in your chest returns.
Itoshi Sae.
Thereβs something surgical about the way he plays. When the ball is with him, every motion is precise, pared down to intention. He threads passes through impossible spaces like itβs a reflex. While everyone else is fighting to prove themselves, heβs simplyβ¦ existingβas though heβs already proven everything he needed to, years ago.
His teammates know this. You watch as he receives a pass with the ease of someone bored by difficulty, shifts his weight once, and sends the ball slicing across the pitch like a whisper turned into a blade.
The crowd gasps. You do too, though youβre not sure why.
The camera finds him again with a glint of sweat on his jaw. Under the lights, he looks almost unearthly. Too composed. Too controlled. You wonder, for the first time, if a person can be built entirely out of restraint.
Ayane grabs your arm again, nails biting through the fabric of your sleeve. βLookβlook!β she squeals, half out of her seat.
You follow her gaze. The U-20 offense has surged forward. Thereβs a narrow opening; just a breath of space at the corner of the penalty area. Saeβs there before anyone else can react. You see the line of his body as he draws back his left leg, smooth and devastating, and thenβ
The ball arcs cleanly into the net.
When the crowd roars, itβs deafening. The commentators explode into praise, Ayaneβs screaming into your ear, Oliverβs name is somewhere in there tooβbut all you can do is stare.
And feel the way your leg aches as though you were the one who made that shot.
It shoots from the ball of your foot to your calf, ricochets up your knee like a firecracker going off in old scar tissue. You jerk back in your seat because you know this pain. Youβve felt it your entire life. Itβs the sharp, buzzing ache that once wrapped itself around your bones until you wanted to tear it out.
No way.
You scramble for logic. Maybe youβre projecting. Maybe itβs just a coincidence, or your own fraying nerves. Thereβs no way Itoshi Sae is at the other end of your soulbond. The thought alone feels absurd, too big to fit anywhere inside you.
The roar of the stadium dulls to a distant rush. You sit unnaturally still, watching every movement, every calculated pass, every sharp pivot. The way Sae glides across the field feels like heβs already five steps ahead of everyone else.
You barely register the crowd losing its mind as the Blue Lock players push back against the U-20 with reckless brilliance. None of it matters. Your pulse thrums in your throat; your entire focus narrows to a single maroon blur. If this is some cruel joke from the universe, you want to catch it in the act.
Then, like fate baring its fangs in your face, it happens.
Itβs a small thingβso small anyone else would miss it. Sae doesnβt use his dominant left foot this time. The angleβs too tight, the defense too close. So he pivots, draws on his right leg, and sends the ball spinning to a teammate with effortless precision.
And the world lights up in your knee.
The familiar, sickening pull rips through the scar like an old wound being split open. You choke on your breath, clutching your leg with eyes wide. The agony burns through you like hellfire, and you have to keep absolutely still to not make Ayane worry.
On the field, Sae keeps moving, calm and flawless to everyone else, but you see the truth tucked in between his stridesβa ghost of a limp. Familiar. Personal. Something youβd only recognize if itβs lived inside you before.
βNo fucking way,β you whisper despite the roar of the crowd, your heart beating just in time with the ache in your knee. But the truth is here, right before your eyes.
Itβs him.
Itβs always been him.
Itβs one thing to know your soulmate is a football prodigy. Itβs another to know what to do with the information.
You go home after the match without saying a wordβto Ayane, to your mother, to anyone. You donβt even remember the train ride, just that the crowdβs cheers are still ringing in your ears when you lock your bedroom door and collapse in front of your laptop.
You type his name into the search bar before you can stop yourself.
The results are endless. Headlines, photos, clips of his goals and passes edited to cinematic soundtracks. You scroll through them like someone trying to understand a stranger wearing your heartbeat.
Every article says the same thing: Genius midfielder. Prodigy from Japan. The youngest to debut overseas. Cold. Arrogant. A machine made flesh.
They talk about how he left for Spain at fourteen, how he turned down endorsement deals worth millions just to βfocus on soccer,β and how heβs rumored to hate interviews because he thinks most journalists arenβt worth his time.
And yetβ¦ you canβt stop scrolling.
Because nothing about him on that field looked empty. Detached, maybe. Controlled, yes. But youβve felt the kind of pain that hollows a person out, and thisβthis doesnβt look like that.
The person in the photos doesnβt match the one tied to you by pain and sleepless nights. The world paints him as a monster of precision, a boy who traded his heart for discipline, who doesnβt feel anything except victory. But you know better. Youβve felt him. The quiet agony that used to hum through your bones wasnβt born from pride or perfection. It was loneliness. It was exhaustion. It was someone who hurt enough to make the universe take notice.
You scroll until your eyes sting. Clip after clip. Headline after headline. And still, you donβt find anything that resembles the person your body recognizes. In fact, you would have scrolled indefinitely until you find an article buried deep in a sports blog dated only a few days ago.
βThough originally scheduled to return to Spain following passport renewal, sources say Itoshi Sae has shown interest in Japanβs Blue Lock project and may remain for the foreseeable future.β
You stare at the words until they blur.
Then you close the tab, shut your laptop, and lie back on your bed. You trace the old scar on your knee with your thumb with a quiet exhale.
You stare at the ceiling as the ache behind your ribs starts to simmer again. You donβt know if itβs yours or his anymoreβonly that itβs still there, pulsing in time with a strangerβs heartbeat.
For a moment, you almost pity him.
Because no one that brilliant should have to bleed this much just to shine.
βCome on, itβs Oliverβs birthday this weekend,β Ayane pleads over the phone one day. βHeβs renting out a place in Roppongi. Itβll be fun!β
You nearly drop your pen. βAs in Roppongi Roppongi?β
βYes, duh.β
You pinch the bridge of your nose. βAyane, thatβs underage drinking.β
She laughs like youβve told her a joke. βPlease. We can totally pass for twenty.β
βThatβs not the point.β
βThe point is,β she cuts in, βyouβre coming with me. Iβm not going alone.β
You open your mouth to refuse, but the image of Ayane in some too-short dress, hanging off Oliverβs arm in a district known for everything your parents warned you about flashes in your head. The thought of her going there alone knots your stomach.
You sigh. βFine. But Iβm not dressing up.β
Ayane cheers like sheβs just scored a victory. βYou never do!β
When the fated day comes, the summer night air is thick by the time you reach the station. Youβve done exactly as you promisedβplain shirt, long, flowy skirt, and sneakers. Something you can run in, if it comes to that. The district is alive with neon lights bleeding into the pavement, and the smell of asphalt and alcohol hanging in the heat.
Ayane arrives two minutes later, already dazzling under the street lamps. Her top is cropped within an inch of its life, her skirt definitely illegal in several prefectures, and her lipstick a dangerous shade of red. You take one look at her and wordlessly hold out the extra jacket you brought.
She blinks. βWhatβs this for?β
βYou,β you say flatly. βBecause I donβt trust your shitty boyfriend to have one.β
Ayane laughs, throwing her arms around you. βYouβre the best. I knew youβd have my back.β
The bar Oliver rented out is small but expensive-lookingβblack marble counters, low lights, the faint thrum of bass curling through the air. A banner that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLIVER!! hangs crooked above the bar, surrounded by a few too many bottles already opened. Itβs a place that reeks of money and pretense.
Oliver spots Ayane first and breaks into a grin. βThereβs my girl!β
You hang back as she runs into his arms, watching the way he leans down to kiss her like heβs performing for an audience. Youβve met him twice beforeβonce at the mall, once outside a karaoke barβand both times, you left with the same impression: charming in that slippery, practiced way people use to get what they want.
βYou remember my best friend, right?β
Oliver turns his head, and his grin sharpens. βOf course. Hard to forget.β
You force a polite smile. βHi.β
βHey,β he says easily, eyes flicking down and up in one slow sweep that makes your skin crawl. βDidnβt realize Ayaneβs best friend was this cute before.β
Ayane laughs, swatting his arm. βStop, youβre embarrassing me.β
You smile tighter, knuckles whitening around the strap of your bag. The only reason you donβt clock him right there is because itβs his birthdayβand because Ayaneβs eyes are too bright, too happy to ruin it for her.
For now.
You tell yourself youβll stay for an hour. Two, if Ayane needs you.
The bar hums with too much bass, too much laughter, too much everything. You pick a corner stool by the bar, the farthest one from the music, and order a glass of water despite the bartenderβs confused look.
βJust water?β he asks.
βJust water,β you repeat, because someone in this place needs to remember sobriety exists.
The glass comes slick with cold. You press it to your lips, scanning the crowd over the rim. Most of Oliverβs guests look familiar only because youβve seen them before, sprinting across the field or on Ayaneβs phone screen when sheβs bragging about her boyfriendβs team. A few wear the U-20 crest on their jackets, half a drink away from spilling secrets they shouldnβt.
You search for red hair and donβt find it. The relief hits embarrassingly fast.
Good. You can handle Oliver. You can handle athletes pretending they arenβt below drinking age. What you canβt handle is running into him. Not when you still donβt know how to breathe around the truth that binds you together.
So you do what you came here to do: keep an eye on Ayane.
Sheβs radiant, spinning between tables, laughing too hard at Oliverβs teammatesβ jokes, her borrowed jacket tied loosely around her waist. You track her like a tether. Itβs easier to focus on her than the haze pressing in from all sides, and the faint burn of spilled alcohol staining the air.
You were an athlete once. You remember the discipline that came with it. So seeing top-level players like Oliver chugging liquor like itβs water makes something in you recoil with disgust. Itβs all so loud, so far from the quiet hum of purpose you grew up with.
Youβre so busy staring at Ayaneβs outline through the shifting crowd that you donβt notice someone sitting beside you until a voice cuts clean through the noise.
βWater,β he says to the bartender.
You glance sidewaysβjust polite enough to acknowledge, just careful enough not to engageβand then your breath catches mid-sip.
For a moment, youβre not sure if itβs the lighting or your brain short-circuiting. But the color of his hair gives him away before anything elseβthe unmistakable maroon, muted in the barβs dim glow. Then his side profile, sharp and unyielding, with a face cameras adore and people call cold because they donβt know what else to name it.
Itoshi Sae is less than five feet away from you, sitting like he has every right to be there.
Your first instinct is to look away. Your second is to bolt. But neither comes fast enough; the worldβs already narrowed to the sound of his voice and the distance between you thatβs suddenly too small.
Youβve imagined meeting your soulmate a hundred different ways, but none of them included the faint smell of gin in the air, or the buzz of a bad pop remix vibrating through the floor.
Yet, here he is.
As real as the ache still hiding behind your ribs.
For a while, neither of you say anything. Youβre both just two people sitting side by side, pretending the air between you isnβt crackling. Sae isnβt even looking at you; his gaze drifts over the crowd with the same detached calm he wears on the field.
You try to focus on the chaosβOliver laughing too loudly, someone clinking shot glasses, Ayane half-dancing with a drink she probably canβt handleβbut the awareness of him presses against your skin like heat.
You donβt notice youβve been fidgeting until his voice cuts through the noise.
βAre you an athlete?β
You blink. No greeting. No introduction.
For a second, your brain refuses to catch up. What kind of question is that? Does he know who you you are? Who Ayane is? He wasnβt supposed to be here at allβyouβd assumed he only joined the U-20 squad for that Blue Lock match. So what is he doing in a Roppongi bar surrounded by temporary teammates and cheap neon light?
And why is he talking to you?
You clear your throat, trying to find your voice somewhere between disbelief and the faint tremor under your skin. βI used to be. Whyβd you ask?β
Sae hums before taking a measured sip of his drink. His sea-green eyes flick toward you for the briefest moment.
βI saw your knee brace.β
The words land like a punch.
You freeze as your breath snags in your throat. Your skirt covers itβyouβd made sure of that. He shouldnβt have noticed it at all unlessβ¦
Your foot had been propped on the rung of your stool earlier.
You feel heat rise to your cheeks before you can stop it. βOh, yeah. Itβs an old injury. Started acting up again, so Iβuhβthought Iβd wear it just in case.β
Sae only hums again. He doesnβt press. He doesnβt even look like heβs listening, eyes half-turned back toward the crowd. But nonetheless, you can feel the pull. That silent, unspoken thread that vibrates between you like a heartbeat neither of you can claim.
Does he know?
Does he know about the pain he carved into you without ever touching you? Does he know about the dream you tossed aside just for the sake of getting back at him? Does he know that your pulse has been sprinting ever since he sat down?
β¦Will it even matter if he does?
But despite how carefully you both preserve this silence, it doesnβt last.
It starts with a tremor at the edge of the crowdβraised voices, the scrape of a chair, a glass shattering somewhere too close to the music. You turn instinctively, catching sight of a woman youβre certain wasnβt there before. Sheβs older than the rest of you, mid-twenties at least, her dress short enough to make a statement and her heels sharp enough to follow through on it.
She looks furious.
βWhat the hell, Oliver?β Her voice cuts like a blade. βWho is that brat?β
You follow the direction of her glare and your stomach drops.
Of course she means Ayane.
Oliverβs got an arm around her shoulders, grinning that easy, careless grin heβs always hadβone that looks good in photos and terrible everywhere else. But the second the older woman opens her mouth again, even he canβt smirk his way out of it.
βI thought you said I was the only one,β she snaps. βYou told me you werenβt seeing anyone else!β
Ayane blinks, her expression freezing halfway between confusion and horror. βHe told me you were just an old friend!β
You can almost see the headache forming behind Oliverβs eyes. He exhales, palms up, like heβs trying to settle a pair of unruly pets. βLadies, come on. Can we not do this here? Itβs my birthday. Letβs just relax, yeah?β
The womanβs response is to swing her purse at him.
It hits his arm with a sharp whack that makes the nearest table burst into laughter. Ayane lets out a shocked noise and suddenly sheβs throwing herself forward, nails and all. The crowd erupts. Phones come out. Someone yells, βDo it again!β and thatβs all it takes for the bar to devolve into complete chaos.
Youβre already on your feet, cursing under your breath. βFor godβs sakeβAyane!β
You wedge yourself between them, grabbing at her arm. Sheβs stronger than she looks when sheβs drunk, all flailing limbs and misplaced fury.
βShe called me a brat!β she slurs, trying to kick free. βShe called meββ
Her kitten heel catches your knee.
Right where the brace is.
The pain flares white-hot, so sudden you almost see stars. You stumble back, hand flying to your leg as your breath hitches in your chest. The world narrows to a single throbβdeep, familiar, and cruelly precise.
Ayane and the woman are still shouting. Oliverβs pretending to mediate but mostly just shielding his face. The rest of the bar watches like itβs free entertainment.
You steady yourself on a nearby table with gritted teeth, willing the pain to ebb. But across the roomβ
Sae shifts.
He hasnβt moved much since the chaos started, still seated at the bar, one hand curled around his untouched glass of water. But now his jaw tenses. His fingers flex once before sliding down to his right knee.
He doesnβt look at you right away, but you feel it all the sameβthe pulse that jumps between you, invisible but undeniable. That same echo of pain, the aching flicker that kept you company in late nights and early mornings.
You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek, breathing through the sensation. When your gaze finally meets his across the crowd, you realize he felt it too.
Neither of you say anything. The connection speaks for itself.
Like an ache that doesnβt know itβs supposed to heal.
By the time the nightβs noise fades behind you, Ayaneβs half-asleep on your shoulder, and her breath smells like peach schnapps and regret.
You keep an arm wrapped around her as you guide her down the quiet street, her heels clicking unevenly against the pavement. Sheβs clutching your jacket to her chest like a security blanket, mumbling something incoherent between sniffles.
βI told you those shoes were a bad idea,β you murmur, mostly to fill the silence.
She lets out a wet laugh. βYou told me Oliver was a bad idea.β
βWell,β you say softly, βI wasnβt wrong.β
βYeah. You were right.β Ayane sniffles, her voice cracking halfway. βHeβs the worst. I canβt believe I fought someone over him.β
You glance down at her. The smeared eyeliner, the reddened nose, the faint scratches tracing her arm.
βYouβre not the first person to make a bad call while drunk,β you tell her. βJustβmaybe donβt date guys who drink under twenty next time.β
βOkay,β she says, small and sincere, leaning more of her weight against you. βI promise. No more shady guys.β
βGood.β
βIβll stay loyal to my soulmate instead.β
You nearly trip over your own feet. βWhat?β
Ayane giggles weakly, eyes half-lidded as she looks up at you. βIsnβt that what youβre doing? Waiting for yours?β
The words hit harder than they should. You open your mouth, then close it again. Thereβs nothing to say that doesnβt sound like a lie.
βYouβre drunk, Ayane.β
βIβm observant,β she mumbles.
You donβt answer. By the time you reach her house, her headβs already lolling against your shoulder again. You manage to get her up the steps and ring the doorbell with your elbow. The porch light flickers on.
βGo to bed, okay?β you say, gently pulling your jacket from her hands once sheβs inside.
She nods. ββNight, soulmate girl.β
The porch light flickers once, then fades. The street settles into stillness.
Each step back crunches against the gravel, the weight of the night pressing down heavier with every breath. Youβre still thinking about Ayaneβs words when the car comes into view. Black, sleek, and idling at the curb.
Saeβs elbow rests on the window frame, head tilted slightly, sea-green eyes following you even before you reach him. The streetlight turns his hair to copper, and makes his expression even more indecipherable.
You clutch your bag tighter, unsure what to do with the sudden awareness crawling up your spine. βYou didnβt have to wait.β
His reply is instant. βYou shouldnβt walk alone at night.β
Thereβs no softness in itβjust that same flat certainty he probably uses to tell people how to play football. Like facts are things you obey, not argue with.
You huff out a quiet laugh, too tired to hide your annoyance. βYou really didnβt have toββ
βIβm already here.β
ββ¦Do you always talk like that?β
He doesnβt answer.
You shake your head and reach for the back door anyway, but his voice cuts through the still air before you can slide in.
βDonβt treat me like some drive for hire.β
Your hand freezes. βExcuse me?β
His reflection catches yours in the rearview mirror, eyes narrowing just enough to be infuriating. βSit in the passenger seat.β
You stare at him for a beat. βAre all geniuses this bossy, or is it just you?β
Nothing. Not even a smirk.
You sigh, muttering under your breath as you circle to the front. The leather creaks softly as you sink into the passenger seat, refusing to look at him. For a moment, neither of you speak. The engine hums low, the city outside blurring into quiet shapes through the windshield.
It takes you a minute to realize heβs waiting for you to tell him where you live.
You clear your throat, trying not to sound as flustered as you feel. βUhβleft at the next corner. Then straight for a few blocks.β
Sae doesnβt say anything, but his hand finds the gearshift, movements smooth and practiced. The car groans forward and the city lights slide past in streaks of white and amber. Itβs quiet. So much that it leaves lots of space for thought.
You glance sideways despite yourself.
His sleeves are rolled just enough to show the sharp line of his forearm, a silver watch glinting whenever the light changes. The pinstriped shirt and tailored slacks fit him a little too well; even his posture radiates precision. Everything about him feels controlledβdown to the way his fingers rest on the wheel like they own it.
Your eyes trail to his face before you can stop them. Strong jaw. Unbothered expression. The faintest crease between his brows that might mean irritation or focus. You canβt tell the difference anymore.
And then his gaze flicks toward you.
You tear your eyes away immediately. Great. Perfect. Exactly how you wanted to spend your nightβgetting caught staring at your soulmate like some lovesick idiot after watching your best friend brawl in a bar.
βSo youβre the one whoβs been giving me a hard time.β
You blink. βWhat?β
Sae doesnβt look at you. βDo you know what that injury of yours cost me back in Spain?β His tone is maddeningly calm, almost conversational. βA place on the starting roster. I couldβve snagged it earlier if youβd just taken better care of yourself.β
You gape at him. βIf Iβd taken betterβ? Are you serious right now?β
βDo I look like Iβm joking?β
Something hot snaps inside you. βYouβ You think I wanted this? You think I asked to feel your pain every time you got tackled or twisted your knee chasing a ball halfway across the world?β
Your voice cracks, but you donβt care. The words spill out like theyβve been waiting years to escape. βItβs not just the bruises, Sae. You think I donβt know what itβs like when your chest feels so empty, you want to die? When it feels like youβre running on fumes just to keep going? You think I donβt feel that too?β
His knuckles tense on the steering wheel. A muscle in his jaw shifts, the only sign that your words have hit somewhere close to home.
You lean back, the air between you buzzing with everything unspoken. βDonβt you dare act like this is all my fault. Iβve been carrying your hurt for as long as I can remember.β
The car slows to a red light. Sae clicks his tongue once, before turning his head toward you.
βThen stop feeling it,β he says flatly.
Your pulse spikes. βThen stop causing it!β
It comes out sharper than you intend, breathless and shaking. Your heartβs pounding so hard it almost drowns out the traffic outside. You hate the way he makes you feel. Cornered. Small.
Alive.
Sae studies you for a long moment, his expression unreadable under the glow of the stoplight. For a second, you think he might snap back. But instead, his gaze softens like a shadow easing off a wall.
βYou shouldnβt let it control you,β he says finally.
But itβs never been about control. This thread between you has been cutting into your ribs since you were childrenβsomething beyond control or reason. You even promised yourself, if you ever met him, youβd tell him to be careful.
But thereβs nothing careful about Itoshi Sae.
The light turns green. He looks away, one hand shifting back to the wheel.
βTry to rest,β he murmurs, eyes forward again. βYouβve had enough for one night.β
You want to argue, but you donβt. Instead, his car rolls on as the city unfolds around you, and for once, the silence doesnβt feel entirely unbearable.
Itoshi Sae is the most demanding person youβve ever met.
You learned that the same night he dropped you off. He didnβt even wait for you to say thank you or slam the car door shut in righteous fury. Instead, he shoved his phone into your hands and said:
βType your number.β
You blinked, certain you misheard. βIβm sorry, what?β
βYour number,β he deadpanned. βPut it in.β
You stared at him, completely lost. After everything you talked about, youβd expected him to want nothing to do with you. Honestly, you were fine with that. What could you possibly offer a man who already had everything?
Your thumb hovered awkwardly over his phone screen. βWhy?β
Sae rolled his eyes. βSo I can tell you to stop being a nuisance. In case you decide to start crying or whatever on your end of the bond and it distracts me in the middle of a game.β
You gaped. βCrying? Excuse meββ
βJust type it in.β
You did, mostly because it was easier than arguing with him again. He snatched the phone back without another word, saved the contact, and drove off before you could tell him to fuck off.
That was that.
That night became the blueprint for your so-called relationship: a tangled mix of snark and irritation, stitched together by a soulbond neither of you wanted.
Days passed. Then weeks. You donβt hear from Sae aside from the headline about him renewing his passport and flying back to Spain.
You tell yourself you didnβt care. Not about him, not about the dull ache that settled under your ribs whenever the bond went quiet again. It isnβt longing. Just... background noise.
Until one afternoon, while you were buried in notes for your midterm, your phone buzzes.
Worldβs Shittiest Midfielder: can you stop
Me: ?
Me: stop what
Worldβs Shittiest Midfielder: that
Worldβs Shittiest Midfielder: youβre picking at a scab on the back of your foot
Me: ...youβre bothered by THAT?
Worldβs Shittiest Midfielder: iβm in the middle of a meeting. cut it out.
You grin. Then, out of pure spite, you dig your nail under the edge of the scab and rip it clean off with a yelp in surprise.
Worldβs Shittiest Midfielder: what the fuck is wrong with you
Me: consider it payback for the car lecture, genius.
Three dots blink for a moment before vanishing.
You leaned back in your chair, smiling to yourself despite the sting in your heel. Maybe this was your new normalβoccasional cross-continental bickering with a world-class footballer who happened to share your pain, your pulse, and your bad habits.
You could live with that.
Probably.
You donβt hear from Sae for weeks after that.
No texts, no calls, no late-night complaints about phantom paper cuts or the occasional pulled muscle. The quiet is almost disorienting. Youβre loath to admit, but youβve gotten used to the constant static of his irritation.
But then, summer fades, and your mother falls ill right when the heat finally breaks.
The days start shortening, and your world follows suit. Between lectures and two part-time jobs, your life blurs into a rhythm of running between work, school, and the hospital. You learn the names of every nurse on the night shift, the brand of the bitter coffee from the vending machine downstairs. You start sleeping in chairs.
You donβt think about Sae much. Except when you feel that familiar hollow ache in your chest flareβlike the bond itself has turned brittle with all the grief youβre carrying.
When your phone buzzes at midnight, you almost ignore it. But the screen lights up with an international number, and your stomach sinks. You swipe to answer, pressing the phone against your ear as quietly as you can.
Saeβs voice cuts through, cool and irritated as ever. βWhat the hellβs going on with you?β
You close your eyes. βHi to you too.β
βIβve been feeling it for a month,β he goes on. βWhatever it isβitβs unbearable. If this is you spiraling again, Iβd rather quit soccer than deal with another second of it.β
You huff out something that might be a laugh if it werenβt so broken. Your gaze drifts to your mother, her face half-hidden under the hospitalβs dim light.
βAre you done?β
Sae exhales through the receiver. βDo you want me to add more?β
You shake your head, even though he canβt see it. A small, bitter smile tugs at your lips. βI wish I could stop hurting, Sae. I wish I could rip this stupid soulbond out so neither of us has to feel each other anymore.β
Your throat tightens, but the words donβt stop. βI wish my momβs soulmate didnβt leave her too early. Maybe then I wouldnβt have to watch her slowly die alone.β
The silence rings so loud in your ears, it almost stings.
Finally, he asks, βWhat do you mean?β
You wipe your tears with the back of your sleeve, voice dropping to a whisper. βItβs nothing, Sae. Iβll get my shit together soon. Good night.β
βHeyββ
You hang up before he can finish.
The phone slips from your hand and lands in your lap. The heart monitor keeps its steady rhythm beside you, and for a moment, you pretend thatβs enough.
Youβve been seriously considering dropping out.
Itβs your last year of high school, but the two part-time jobs youβre juggling arenβt enough to cover your motherβs medication for long. When you bring it up to her, she criesβhands trembling as she clasps yours, pressing her forehead against your knuckles like sheβs praying.
βIβm sorry,β she whispers. βIβm sorry the burden has to fall on your shoulders.β
You shake your head so fast it almost hurts. βItβs not a burden, Mom. I love you. Of course Iβll do everything I can to keep you alive.β
And you mean it. Even if it means pressing pause on your own life for a while.
That afternoon, while she sleeps soundly beside you, youβre back to scrolling through job listingsβanything thatβll pay more than your current shifts. The glow of your laptop makes the room feel smaller. Youβre trying not to think about how much longer you can stretch your savings when the door opens.
Itβs one of the nurses. Sheβs usually kind but careful, always wearing that look of pity that makes your stomach twist. Today, though, her face is lit up.
βGood news,β she says. βYour motherβs outstanding balance has been paid in full.β
ββ¦What?β
She nods. βAnd the referrals to the specialists you mentionedβthose will be billed to the anonymous donor. You can start arranging for further treatment right away.β
You stare at her for a long second, half-suspicious. βThis isnβt a scam, is it?β
βNot at all.β The nurse laughs softly. βYou can check the billing records yourself. Everythingβs been processed. Would you like me to contact the specialists on call?β
Your eyes flicker to your motherβthe frail rise and fall of her chest, her once-strong hands now folded weakly over the blanket. The woman who taught you there was something sacred in pain. You donβt even think twice before nodding.
βYes. Please.β
Later, while your mother is surrounded by a new team of doctors, you find yourself staring at your phone, thumbs hovering over a contact name you just thought of changing last minute.
Me: you didnβt have to do all that.
Me: how did you even know where to wire the money, assholeβ¦
Sae: ?
Sae: what are you talking about
You huff out a laugh. Heβs a terrible liar. But the grief thatβs been curling in your chest for weeks finally loosens a little.
Me: whatever
Me: thanks, genius
Me: i might owe you one after all
Sae: iβll fly back to japan next week
Me: so soon? couldβve sworn you just tried to run me over with your car
Sae: if you want to pay me back, treat me to dinner on the 10th. thatβs my birthday
Me: youβre booking a flight for a birthday dinner????
Sae: iβm just collecting what iβm owed
You laugh, too loud for a hospital room. A doctor glances over; your mother does too, but you donβt apologize.
Because for the first time, your heart stirs at the thought of Itoshi Saeβnot in anger, but something dangerously close to affection.
Itβs already mid-autumn, and youβve missed the first few weeks of your last yearβsomething that wouldβve wrecked you months ago. But now that your momβs treatment is covered, and sheβs stable enough for you to leave her bedside without guilt, you can actually breathe again.
Ayane nearly tackles you the moment you step into the classroom. She insists on helping you catch up, piling notes and worksheets on your desk like a one-woman rescue mission.
Halfway through reviewing algebra problems, she blurts out, βBy the way, I was the one who told Sae about your mom.β
You blink. βYouβwhat?β
Ayane pouts, twirling her pen. βSorry! You were burning yourself out on both ends! Someone had to do something.β
You stare at her, horrified. βAyane.β
βWhat?β she says, lips twitching. βWho am I to keep your soulmate from knowing something that important?β
The words hit you like a bullet.
Oh god. She knows.
Heat floods your face instantly, and you drop your pen, burying your head in your textbook.
βHe told you about our soulbond?β
Ayane grins like sheβs watching her favorite drama unfold. βDonβt give me that look! Thatβs Itoshi Sae! Your soulmate is a literal football superstar, and youβre shy about it?β
You groan. βPlease shut up before I evaporate on the spot.β
Her laughter rings out across the study hall, drawing a few looks your way. But she eventually lets you off the hook, mumbling about how βsoulmate privilegeβ should come with bragging rights.
The rest of the week passes in relative peace. You start feeling like a normal high school student again. But then your phone buzzes that evening while youβre eating dinner in the hospital room with your mother.
Sae: flight just landed.
Sae: hope you didnβt forget about tomorrow.
Me: yeah, yeah.
Me: all youβre getting is cheap katsu curry though
Me: no complaints or iβll poison your food
Sae: π
You snort softly, shaking your head. The sound draws your motherβs attention. Sheβs sitting up, eating her soup with a bit more color in her cheeks than before.
βWho are you texting?β she asks, her tone light but curious.
You freeze. Then, without thinking, you tell her, βYouβll meet him soon.β
The words hang in the air like smoke. Your brain immediately short-circuits.
What the hell did you just say?
Your mom just smiles, completely unaware of your internal meltdown.
Later that night, you curl up on the couch youβve claimed as your own, the room dim except for the faint glow of the monitors. You tell yourself youβre only staying up because youβre not tired.
But when the clock hits midnight, you unlock your phone, open your messages, and type before you can second-guess it.
Me: happy birthday, genius.
You are eighteen when Itoshi Sae asks you to be his girlfriend.
Except he doesnβt really ask, and you donβt really answer.
It happens on graduation day.
The sky is painfully blue, the kind that almost hurts to look at, and the air smells faintly of cherry blossoms drifting in from the courtyard. Your uniform is crisp for once, the pleats sharp and the ribbon tied neatly beneath your collar.
Your mom is sitting in the front row, clapping like her hands might fall off, eyes shining with pride that makes your throat ache. Beside you, Ayane is sniffling onstageβmascara already smudged, clutching your hand so tightly you can feel her nails through your sleeve.
When the principal finally announces your class, she lets out a watery laugh. βWe actually did it,β she whispers, voice wobbling.
You bump your shoulder against hers. βTold you we would.β
Itβs true. You made it.
Through the sleepless nights, the part-time jobs, the grief that used to gnaw at your ribs. Whatβs more is that the soulbond that once felt like a chain doesnβt drag anymore; it just hums quietly, a familiar weight youβve learned to live with.
Sometimes, when Saeβs overseas, you forget itβs even there. Other times, you feel the faint pulse of him through it, steady and distant, like a heartbeat echoing from another world.
Having Sae as a soulmate doesnβt hurt anymore.
Not even the seven-hour time difference can stop you from blowing up his phone with inane messages when youβre bored: screenshots of terrible memes, blurry photos of your momβs cooking, voice notes of Ayane snoring during class. He replies more often now, though heβll never admit it.
Sae: stop sending me things when iβm in training.
Me: just thought you needed motivation.
Sae: youβre insufferable.
Me: you love it.
Sae: shut up.
Youβre not really sure what to call whatever this is.
Friends? More than friends? Something in between?
Sure, maybe you had fun during his last visit to Japan. Maybe your mom had taken one look at him and said, βHeβs polite. I like him,β which was suspiciously high praise. (She still doesnβt know heβs the one who paid her hospital bills, and you plan to keep it that way.)
Maybe youβd kissed the corner of his mouth in the hospital hallway before he left for his flight. Just a soft, nervous brush of lips, quick enough to pass for gratitude. You hadnβt looked back to see his reaction, but you felt it. The bond flared hot in your chest, pulsing with something wild and new before settling back to stillness.
That was months ago. You told yourself it didnβt mean anything. You told yourself you didnβt mean anything. At least, not to Itoshi Sae.
So why the hell is he ambling by the school gates like some sort of delinquent?
Heβs standing under a blooming cherry blossom tree like he walked out of a commercial for expensive cologne. Heβs wearing the same pinstriped shirt from Oliverβs birthday last year, sleeves rolled to his elbows, dark slacks tailored too perfectly for someone who insists he doesnβt care about appearances.
Behind him, his poor manager Dabadie looks seconds away from a cardiac arrest, scanning the crowd like the paparazzi might materialize from the bushes.
Heβs not supposed to be back in Japan this soon. Heβs not supposed to be here at all.
You break off from your mother, whoβs busy chatting with Ayaneβs parents, and march up to him, clutching your diploma to your chest.
βWhat are you doing here?β you ask in an attempt to sound casual. βYou usually tell me about your visits like I should be grateful youβre gracing Japanese soil again.β
Sae doesnβt rise to the bait. He doesnβt even blink.
Instead, he gestures toward Dabadieβwho looks immensely relieved to be acknowledgedβand takes a bouquet from his arms. Itβs a gorgeous arrangement of hydrangeas the same blue-green shade as his eyes. Nestled in the center is a small velvet box.
He holds it out to you.
βCongrats,β he says simply.
You blink at him. Then at the flowers. Then back at him.
βYouβ¦whatβ Sae,what is thisββ
He just smiles, and you begrudgingly take the bouquet because, well, what else can you do? The velvet box wobbles slightly between the blooms, and when you open it, thereβs a necklace inside. Silver. Simple. The pendant bears a single kanji.
His name.
You stare at it for a long moment. βYouβre impossible.β
βYeah,β he says, hands in his pockets. βYou say that a lot.β
Before you can respond, your mom swoops in. She lights up when she sees him, linking her arm with his like theyβve known each other for years.
βSae-kun! You came all this way! Oh, you shouldnβt have,β she gushes, eyes sparkling. βYou look thinnerβare you eating enough?β
Youβreβ¦ stunned. The cold, snarky Itoshi Sae, looking almost sheepish under your motherβs fussing. Heβs actually letting her straighten his collar.
Dabadie appears at your side, lowering his voice. βHe arranged for a celebratory lunch at his favorite restaurant. Donβt worry about the expenses.β
You pinch the bridge of your nose. βOf course he did.β
Later, in the car, the flowers rest between you. Your mother is engrossed in conversation with his manager at the front. Sae reaches for the necklace box, wordlessly lifting the chain from its cushion. You hesitate only a second before turning your back to him. His fingers brush your skin as he fastens the clasp, warm and careful.
For a moment, the bond humsβsteady and bright.
You glance at him over your shoulder. βYou really didnβt have to do all this.β
βI wanted to,β he says flatly.
And you realize, in that quiet stretch of spring sunlight, that there are still so many things you donβt know about him. You donβt know why he carries so much pain that goes beyond soccer. Youβve never even met his brother or his family. You donβt know what made him decide to show up here and now.
But you do know that he likes salted seaweed with his rice. That heβs weirdly fixated on athletesβ butts. That he has an inexplicable fondness for seagulls.
Thereβs so much you donβt know about Itoshi Sae.
But when the car slows to a stop outside the restaurant and you catch the small, absentminded smile on his stupidly pretty face, you think maybe you have all the time in the world to learn.
The hydrangeas in your lap rustle softly as you smile.
βHey, Sae?β
βHmm?β He glances over as he unbuckles his seatbelt. βWhat is it?β
β...Iβll pay for dessert.β
That earns you a faint laughβone that makes flowers bloom inside your chest as he flashes you a rare, but beautiful smile.
βDeal.β
end notes. YAY YOU MADE IT TILL THE END!! THAT SAID! we have a few post-show notes i'd like to go over with you lovely people here <3 thank you for reading! i loved writing this more than i thought i would hic... sniffle... it would mean the world to me if you let me know you liked it!
summary. y/n l/n longs to escape the confines of her privileged life. she wanted to be free. she hated the way her father forces her to be the person she doesn't want to be. but despite all these, she can't afford to tell her parents about her true feelings so she chose to stay silent and obey themβ until she meets someone who lives in the same world as her. enter mikage reo, born from wealthy family, rich, powerful, but unlike her, he's unafraid to stand his ground. after that one fated encounter, y/n and reo begin meeting often and starts forming a close friendship. but as their bond deepens, one question lingers: is it just friendshipβ¦ or is there something more?
status. not started (will start after down bad! is finished)
tags. college!au, fluff, sprinkle of angst, crack, contains swearing, mentions of alcohol and drinking (but not often), timestamps dont matter, ooc reo(?), same universe and spin-off of down bad! but can be read as standalone, im crying why is the quality of the banner so bad, we need more blue lock smau series guys, tba
taglist. open! (just comment or send an ask to be added)
SUMMARY. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!
SUMMARY. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!
SUMMARY. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!
SUMMARY. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!
Browsing through the depths of this rabbit hole and you're like one of the only people to satisfy most of my cravings ily u matter to me and thanks for writing..
(now i will ask nicely, where's chapter 25 at)
i am not that active here but thank you for visiting my blog!! πββοΈπ
chapter 25 will be posted tonight! ( it's like a filler chapter though so pls dont expect too much hehe :x )
Your βdown badβ smau came up on my for you page and Iβd never even heard of blue lock (? Please forgive me if thatβs wrong!!)before but you have awakened something in me and I much devour every piece of your smau and MORE
summary. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!
status. on-going !
started on / ended on. 03-10-25 / tba
tags. college!au, crack, fluff, slowburn, strangers to lovers, contains swearing, sae might be ooc sometimes (no spain era yay), kys/kms jokes, timestamps don't matter, tba
taglist. CLOSED !
# PROFILES.
β the broke and broken
β the dukes
# CONTENTS.
β’ ββ contains written parts
[ chapter titles are subject to change! ]
βΆ playlist
01. YOLO π 02. karma is a bitch
03. it wasn't me π 04. joke
05. are you my heart? π 06. blessing in disguise
SMALL FUNFACT: you were the one who taught sae how to use memes π
a/n: the slow burn is slow burning now . . .
SUMMARY. you just wanted to prank your friend by giving him a love letter as "payback" for not lending you his notes. it should be easyβ writing it and sending it to him. but why is his brother the one that's reaching out to you the next day?!