If The Sun Can Wake Up Every Day So Can You. @saf3inyourskin - Tumblr Blog

Crashing harder than ever into the bad neighbourhood that is my head. The house is cold and lonely with toxic fumes and nothing soft to sleep on. The weather is always painful to be in. Every corner I turn I worry about getting verbally or not physically abused. I can see all the good people across the hill in the sunlight being happy and I can’t cross over there because there’s raging river rapids fillled with sharp sticks and dangerously harsh currents. I look around for entertainment, or relaxation but it’s like the hazard alarm won’t turn off, someone is trying to annoy me or drive me insane constantly by punishing my ears and eyes with horrific images of death and pain.

Hello me again. Just pouring out random thoughts again to the internet because that’s therapeutic. I’m genuinely so fucking sad but I also don’t deserve to be, can anyone help? Basically I have so much in my life to be thankful for yet sometimes all the pain in between feels like it hits me so much harder mentally and makes me question how worth it everything is for much longer. Seeking solid actual genuine help at this point, I don’t think I can have the positive outlook of ‘it’s going to get better’ unless the universe shows me a really big fucking sign that it will.

I feel like depression and anxiety are such serious issues that affect so many people silently every single day. I would give nothing more than for there to be a cure that takes it all away but there isn’t because it’s not like having a cold or flu. I understand why so many people feel the need to take their life; because more often than not life can feel the infection that’s making you sick. There are not many other illnesses that change your personality into someone your not, I know right now I don’t feel like the person I truly am because something is wrong with me mentally.

God I hate my face

abduction

saf3inyourskin

This is nothing more relevant to this in my life right now.

I have found that being a person who creates art and uses that art to achieve happiness it can do also exactly the opposite. Putting your heart and soul into something you believe you’re good at to only doubt yourself every time is extremely frustrating and I have no clue how to take pride and time in what I do.

Somedays I wanna throw it all away but then what would I have to be ‘good’ at.

non sufficere putantur.

Effort vs. return.

I would very much like to spend the rest of my life by this persons side, we’ve been through so much together that I find it hard to imagine a life that didn’t include her. I’m just having an I can’t even deal day and she is the only thing worth dealing with.

Life gave me one final kick in my stomach today

quaerere auxilium.