inner workings @safedepositbox-blog - Tumblr Blog

so i have tinder on my phone, yeah i'm lame whatever fight me about it, but two guys named mike are messaging me and i'm like djfhlsdkjhfksjdag really.

#personal

steve is coming over so i can cut his hair and we're going to smoke. let's see how this goes...

riding the horse haaaard tonight. i wish i had a fuuuuuuckin cigarette though.

#horse #drugs

i looked at pictures on my phone of us :(

i'm sad about phillip and i just wanna buy drugs.

tueurenserie

I am a very sad useless person.

ohhhh goodness :( phills brother is going back into the hospital for at least 4 weeks. i'll probably never see him again which sucks cause i really really really really like him and i wanna date him. i hate to sound so hopeless but, really? that would happen to me. i've been having such a horrible run lately. i'm trying so hard to keep it all together but i just can't catch a break.

#personal

no no no it’s the drugs that are addicted to me

#heroin #smack

seriously though. compliments on my junk all the time :')

whore-of-the-sabbath-deactivate

Opiates are such a beautiful thing.

carpenooctem

xx

i feel so fucking stupid though. i hate hate hate hate feeling vulnerable and after everything steve put me through i hate crying because of a boy. it just hurts a whole lot, my ego can't handle it right now. on top of me relapsing and getting fucking heroin again and my anxiety/depression acting up it's like this perfect storm was created. things aren't going well but i'm really trying to keep my chin up. everyone knew at work today that i wasn't okay though and that disappoints me a little. i've been hiding this shit for weeks...

i'm so sick and sad. of course this is about the time my 'friend' from years ago chooses to hit on me AGAIN. i told him about what happened with phill and he just keeps trying to make plans with me. it's like no one gives a fucking shit, man. no one fucking cares when you're a decent looking girl and your heart is hurting all they fucking want is to hit on you and get you to move on to them. it's so enraging and demeaning. i go through this every time my heart hurts a little bit-- some guy will feign concern for about three seconds and then use it to try and exploit me. god dammit. and the kicker is that i don't even wanna go and talk to other people, i really fucking liked phill and i really liked where we were going. i'm so sad about how everything turned out... it's so not fair to either of us. i know i'm being super melodramatic but i had such good vibes about him and it's the worst that this is out of our hands. life is just like that sometimes though....

i'm all fucked up in so many ways. fuckkkkin fucked up. oops. or whatever.

wow how about don't ask me if i need drugs ugh

i got coffee from my job while on drugs but they didn't know. then they asked me to come in for a few hours tomorrow. that OT lifeeeee! <33

i want to say so many things but i've already said so much on here but he's just so wonderfulllllll

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