[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

JJ arched a brow as Saffie pulled back, half tempted to push out of his own chair an inch and close the distance between them again. Instead he settled for a wide smirk as she stayed close for a moment. His gaze stayed on hers as she sat back down, tilting his head to the side as she spoke. He mused that he slightly resembled a puppy listening intently to praise, smirk settling into a warm grin as he watched her. The question pulled a small shrug from him, trying his best to seem unbothered. “Eh… I didn’t want to fall behind in my classes.” It was a lie. He was more than comfortable with the syllabus and often grew bored of the way the start of each semester seemed to be one long recap of everything he’s already learned. He’d missed her. That much was obvious. But even their new normal wouldn’t allow for that kind of unabashed admission. Instead, he reached across the table, letting his arm rest palm up. There for her to take if she wanted. “Also- I figured you’d be missing me? What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I left you waiting for me unnecessarily, huh?” A wink, as obnoxious as it was crude, quickly followed his words. He wasn’t sure why she put up with him, honestly. But, god, was he glad to see her. The second her eyes left his, he let his eyes wonder over her face, all of his favourite curves and lines almost surreal now he could see them in person again. “Also you’re beautiful. I know I’ve kind of said that already, but it’s true, so I’m saying it again.”

he lifted his shoulders with ease and her eyes briefly fell to meet them. how cool and nonchalant, all but detached to the question it followed. how cool saf used to think JJ was, when they were only so close that they new each other as the versions they presented to the rest of the world. but no one was ever cool, not really. not in the way film, television, and the modern mecca that was social media forced fed you to believe. people were goofy, or got angry—they slipped and faltered in ways that were both entirely unappealing and utterly charming if you stuck around long enough. and she’d known JJ long enough, seen enough sides to notice the way his grin remained tender where it used to revert to smugness; their genuineness previously a match that could only burn so long before being snuffed out. though, now, it continued to flicker, saf’s own palm gently moving to rest over his. her eyes remained foreword in a gaze unbroken as her index finger began to trace his hand. “of course i missed you,” she said. the first thought that’d come to mind at the voiced assumption. something she’d forego saying so plainly in the past. but she, saf was well aware, was no cooler than he was, nor did she want to be. even if her tone maintained a hint of its teasing nature. “—and, thank you. i might even prefer you saying that to you telling me i look like shit.” her nose scrunched. “maybe.”

then, like time had resumed or the world had snapped back into place, she stole a glance down at her things. “want to head up?” she asked, referring to either of their rooms. “have you even unpacked or did you immediately set out to find me?” her brows rose toyingly, though the entirety of her expression remained joyous. he knew, likely more than her own family did, that she was the kind of deranged that unpacked upon arrival. “i could... help, if you need it.” had that been to obvious? too subtle? did it matter? it’d been more than a couple days, of course she was itching to get back to one of their rooms.

[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

The frost that clung to the entrance of Hastings appeared more like a thin layer of dust now, in stark contrast to the thick and brittle clouds of white that had invaded the beautiful buildings archways upon his last visit. Winter break never lasted quite long enough, he thought to himself as he lugged his cases along with him through the familiar hallways. It had been nice, being home with his family.  The Buckley’s were surprisingly low-key when it came to Christmas. Just his immediate family and both sets of grandparents in the family home. Dad would always burn the potatoes, his grandma would always waste days slaving over a Christmas pudding not even she enjoyed to eat, and without fail every year on boxing day regardless of the weather, he and his family would take part in the Bucklympics, and he would be reminded yet again that his parents were absolutely insane. The intimacy was gone by New Years Eve, the family home abandoned for a French Chateau, boardgames replaced by loud parties and the kids he’d grown up with appearing like strangers as they all awkwardly reminisced about the glory days before the edibles took the edge off of the coke and they were reminded of the sad truth that nepotism was bad and they were probably never going to feel as if they’d earned anything in their privileged little lives. 

So perhaps the break hadn’t been perfect, but still, forgetting the stress of his bachelors for a few weeks had been necessary. He could have easily stayed a while longer if it wasn’t for Europe’s absence of one Seraphina Albright. They’d talked near enough everyday, enough for him to know what she was up to, but far too little for him to avoid the slight ache that had begun to spread across his chest with every little smile or scoff she’d given him over FaceTime. Though he didn’t plan on ever letting her know, he was a complete sucker for her at this point, and a few weeks apart after near constant contact for months had been difficult. So much so that he’d rescheduled his flight to leave a few days early, hoping to catch her off guard and get one of those raw, unedited Saf reactions that he was occasionally treated to. 

JJ had managed to get to his room without being detected, dropping off his luggage and grabbing a quick shower before he even let himself think about finding Saffie. Jetlag was certain to get the best of him if he didn’t get some caffeine in his body soon, so he’d set about getting the pair some coffee prior to returning to his room to grab her gifts and heading towards where he hoped he’d find her. His girlfriend was far from predictable, he knew better than to assume otherwise. She did however seem to favor routine, especially when it came to studying and if his predictions were right, he’d find her in their preferred Hastings study for at least another hour. 

His first glimpse of her fiery red hair had him grinning immediately, resisting the urge he had to head straight over to her and pull her into his arms rather dramatically. Instead he took the long way round, ducking slightly so his head didn’t stick out over the top of bookcases as he made his way over to their table. She seemed entirely immersed in something on her laptop, so much so that he probably could have risked walking straight over to her without her noticing. Her focus made it easy enough for him to casually drop into his usual seat beside her, pushing her usual coffee order practically under her nose in the hope it might get her attention. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re super hot when you code? You’re like a… Sexy genius or something. It’s a great look.”  @saffiealbright​

saffie had slipped back into her routine at yates as one slipped on their favorite old ivy league pullover—with haste and ease. in her absence from campus over winter break she’d actually longed to return to the lofty campus and, more specifically, the hastings house that felt more akin to a home than her parents’ high rise on the park. she sat within its refurbished library walls now, already tucked away into a study that’d practically become her own over the past four years. claimed territory that didn’t need to be spoken aloud to be duly noted by others. except that the spot wasn’t hers alone. saf’s eyes, which had been reflecting the light from her laptop for at least an hour now, flickered up from the screen and swiftly landed on the empty seat across from her. one foot even swung forward in its direction, the girl imagining the tip of her boot-clad foot meeting JJ’s shin with a nudge. nothing.

her gaze came back to the bright screen with languidness; a cat settling back into her perch. shoulders rolled back, hands rose to tighten the ponytail that held back her red strands, and fingertips resumed their places at the keyboard. the almost ceaseless tack-tack-tacking could be heard all throughout the large room and likely just out into the hall, the silence it was met with soothing enough that saf didn’t require headphones. then again, it was quite often that the thoughts that inhabited her head were loud enough to drown out any noise within the vicinity anyway. a saving grace most days, a habit that resulted in consequences others.

today, it seemed, favored the latter. that is, if you considered submerging oneself in the following week’s coursework worthy of consequence and being noticeably startled by a mere cup of coffee a fitting ramification. both hands froze in place above the computer keys, saf’s chin promptly lifting. typically she’d wait until she was finished with a line of code or practice test question to look up from her work—because god forbid she lose her train of thought—but some things were just too intriguing to make wait. for some seconds she only blinked back at him, at JJ, a smile slowly spreading across her lips. full teeth, insuppressible. then, “yeah. yeah, i think i’ve probably heard that once or twice.” an elbow met the surface of the table, hand momentarily covering her mouth. still, the motion did nothing to subdue her excitement. it was obvious in the way she looked at him alone, wide-eyed. almost as though she were in awe. elbow brushing with her laptop, she was quick to shut it and carefully push it, as well as her coffee, aside. and, well, with all of this now free space across the tabletop, she would’ve been remiss not to lift from her seat a couple inches, lean over, and hastily press a kiss to his lips. though it was brief, she lingered a few seconds longer just an inch from his face. then, releasing a breath of a laugh, she sat back. “i thought you weren’t coming back for a few more days,” she picked up, delighted in her own subdued way. admittedly surprised. she’d missed him—the him she could see in person and reach over to tug closer if she felt the sudden need. could he tell?

[greatmortality]

babygirl you are strange and offputting

[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

Joshua couldn’t help but frown as she rebuffed his apology. It wasn’t hard. What did that even mean? The far too familiar pang of disappointment hitting him as he rationalised her retort. Maybe it wasn’t hard because his opinion of her didn’t matter? Or because omitting the truth from him didn’t bother her? He had his own secrets, it seemed as if everybody they knew did, but it definitely wasn’t easy for him to keep them from her. This had turned out to be a rather awful day, he mused, dragging his eyes away from her again as he focused on his bags splayed out in front of him. The pair had argued about something tedious, he’d internalised his frustration and now it seemed as if she could be about to call the whole thing off. Maybe? He wasn’t sure. The energy between them was definitely uneasy though, the space that separated the two seemingly growing as they mumbled at each other from across the room. Before he could manage a response of his own she was talking again. Honestly, he was relieved, not entirely sure of what he was supposed to say, her gaze burning into the side of his head as he fought to keep his own unchanged. There was no way he was willing to be vulnerable with her now, unsure of her motives. Though they’d broken up a dozen times before, it would inevitably hurt more this time. It was different now. Drunken confessions and sober decisions had led to them becoming something that resembled a functioning relationship. Sometimes. 

This new explanation made more sense to him. Fear and shame far more relatable than the ease she’d mentioned before. There was a tone shift that was unmistakeable and he almost instantly felt ridiculous for being so paranoid only a few moments earlier, allowing himself to glance over at her. His brows flexed, bemused by her slight smile and how it contrasted what she was saying. Then came the words he’d never even imagined he’d hear her say. Suddenly he was a deer in the headlights, caught entirely off guard with no real grip on how he felt or rather, how he was supposed to feel. There wasn’t anything particularly reassuring about his lack of a reaction, he realized. It was the same way he’d behaved every other time someone had confessed any deep feelings for him. Of course, usually his shock was due to his inability to understand how anyone could feel so strongly when he felt so little. This was entirely different. The words didn’t scare him like they had in the past. If he was being entirely honest, he’d had to stop himself from saying them to her innumerable times over the past few months. Swallowing down every I love you and replacing it with a sigh or a joke, maybe even an insult depending on the situation. Him loving her was common knowledge as far as he was concerned. Anyone could see it if they really looked. But her loving him wasn’t something he’d ever even allowed himself to imagine. He had assumed he didn’t concern herself with such nonsensical things.

Her last words echoed in his mind, causing him to roll his eyes as he let his own gaze drop once more. “I love you too.” There was no trace of nerves or doubt as he spoke, as if he’d said it to her a thousand times before and it’s meaning was far less terrifying to them both than it was. “I don’t know if you said that on purpose, or if you misspoke, or if maybe that phrase means something different to you Yanks and I’m making a complete fool of myself by saying it back but-” A small shrug left him as he glanced over at her again. “But, I do. And I can’t think of any possible reason that you would ever be not worth it. Even if you do drive me completely fucking insane…” He allowed his smirk to peak through as he gave her another quick look. “Are you still in one of those moods where you don’t want me too close?”

she knew what was likely expected of her in that moment. shock-induced wide eyes, parted lips that were unsure of what words to form. anything that would indicate that what she’d said, she’d said without being wholly, entirely aware of every syllable that amounted to every word. but she had been—of course she had been. it went without blatantly saying that seraphina albright was mindful of what she said, how she acted. arguably a bit too much, but the fact remained: she’d said what she said with full cognizance. it’d been a choice, just then, for her to tell him she loved him. how could she not, when it was the foremost prevailing thing she’d felt throughout their conversation? more than fear, more than shame. she knew it with a certainty that didn’t require pause or thought. it was simply fact. no grand showcase necessary. sure, the delivery hadn’t been the most elegant or poised, but who was she—who were they—if not the type to deviate from the neatness and orderliness that surrounded them and begged for cooperation?

the same sense of certainty, despite or perhaps because of the chaos, found her in JJ’s response. and though she looked back up at him with a swiftness that might’ve implied she wasn’t expecting it, part of her had been. fact was what it came down to and, perhaps more than anything, saf could handle fact. and the fact of the matter was this: they loved each other. they would’ve had to have been ignorant not to know it by now. it was for that reason alone that she nearly rolled her eyes as he floated the ideas of her having misspoke or there being a discrepancy in meaning. doing so, however, would’ve moved her eyes from him, however fleetingly—akin to removing a life vest or cutting off a much-needed deep breath. in fact, her eyes remained on his face’s every subtle movement as she stood from her place and moved towards him, only separating once she was close enough to wrap her arms around him and rest her face against his chest. a wordless answer to his question. a large breath expanded her ribcage, letting it go and further relaxing into him. ‘i love you,’ in this case, didn’t feel like a confession of emotions, but rather a reassurance. a promise that they were in this together, truly. after some seconds saf pulled away, but only so much that she could meet his gaze. “when have you ever known me to misspeak?” she murmured, cocking a brow. “i love you,” she repeated, slower and steadier. then, quieter, past the point of a whisper and almost as though she were mouthing the words, she added, “—and thank you.”

[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

Back in familiar territory for the pair, he let his belongings fall to the ground beside his feet, leaning back against her desk and spinning his basketball on the spot atop a closed textbook absentmindedly as he waited for her to speak. It was laughable really, the sight of them both only a letterman jacket away from seeming like a scene from something reminiscent ofJohn Hughes movie. Him the jock, her the princess, waiting for some big reveal that might change their relationship forever. They both looked the part. Though he wasn’t a jock really. He didn’t quite fit the mold of any archetype, all the parts and none of the whole. Nothing substantial enough for him to ever really feel as if he made much sense in the social ecosystem of Yates, much less anywhere else. It had been a complete overreaction for him to take her embarrassment of him so personally that it had led him to spiral. But here he was, feeling rather sorry for himself as he waited for her to clue him in on whatever it was she’d been struggling with. His concern that her struggle had been legitimate had been enough to persuade him to travel back with her, but along the way he’d managed to convince himself that it could have just been her laying the foundations for another excuse. Her way of cushioning his embarrassment and avoiding any lasting tension between them.

As she began to speak his gaze stayed on the ball, resisting the urge to reference Harry Potter as she mentioned needing more time, a time-turner coming to mind almost immediately. At the mention of abusing adderall however his eyes instantly met her own, their line of sight only crossing for a moment as she looked down to the floor. Well shit, he really had been oblivious. His focus stayed on her as she continued, expressionless as he listened. There was no judgement on his end. His own attempts at ethnography had led to him becoming quite the yes man on campus. Taking any drug or substance that had been offered to him at parties or out in the quad over the past few years, all part of his so called study into American college culture. Three years in of course, this had led to him taking drugs and drinking far too often for his liking, but he’d made no effort to stop. What Saffie was saying was different though. Addiction wasn’t something he had any experience with, and she was the last person he’d have ever expected to be referred to as a drug induced burnout.

The real issue here though was that she’d been struggling. For months. And he obviously hadn’t noticed. She barely slept and was seemingly always working. He should have put two and two together, surely. Everything he’d put down to her just being a hard worker and a perfectionist with her work, all signs of something he was too distracted to question. “I’m sorry…” He didn’t really allow himself time to process the words before he’d mumbled them, unsure of how to follow up and stumbling slightly as he attempted to get his thoughts in order. “That- I mean, it must have been hard? Going through all of that on your own. I didn’t- I’m really sorry.”

i’m sorry, i’m really sorry. her head shook again with immediacy, not having been looking for some sort of apology. that had never been her angle—to be on the receiving end of pity as a result of her own idiotic actions. sure, in many other situations she would’ve readily accepted his ‘sorry,’ even taking some satisfaction in the shift from tension to potential regret. but now it just felt wrong. seraphina didn’t want his apology, as nice as the brief verbal gesture was, she wanted him to accept hers. she wanted to be reassured in some way that it was okay, that things would be okay, and that he wouldn’t ultimately cast her out after everything she’d done. the ever-looming fear, ever since they’d found themselves in their turbulent cycle of habits. even greater than the fear of disappointing her family and losing them, she could plainly recognize now, hands opening so that she could cover her face with them for a second. a hastened exhale left her as she sat back up, hands moving to now grip the end of the bed at either side of her. “it wasn’t,” saf backtracked a touch, “it wasn’t hard at all. in fact, it was far too easy. and—and that’s the problem.”

for the first time since she began her explanation, she looked up at JJ. really looked at him. “i should’ve told you, but i didn’t, because i was afraid. and i should’ve told you about tonight, but i didn’t because i was ashamed.” an almost uncharacteristic half-smile tugged at the corner of her lips, nervous, eyes flickering away as her hands began to motion some out in front of her. “—and, fuck, i love you and i didn’t want this to be the thing that convinced you it’s not worth it. after everything.” her head shook a final time, though this time noticeably at herself, eyes downcast on her lap. “but i should’ve. i’m sorry, i should’ve let you in instead of... shoving you out.”

[freaksgifs]

[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

JJ couldn’t help but notice as she altered her position to wrap her arms around her front. Almost as if she was comforting herself. A move that while could often be construed as her strengthening her defences now seemingly softer, more vulnerable. It made him want to cross the distance between them almost instantly, wrap his own arms around her in an attempt to soothe whatever thoughts were plaguing her. He’d attempted that once before today however and it hadn’t exactly gone to plan. The audible sigh it had earned him still echoing in his ears as he stood his ground. He struggled to make much sense of the rest of her words, confusion obvious as he tried to replay them in his mind. Like a riddle or puzzle he couldn’t quite piece together. She’d been struggling with something. Something so obvious that someone had reached out to her parents. Something that would have upset them enough to warrent her having to grovel to avoid losing their financial support. It was seemingly solvable, there were plenty of things that could have caused her seemingly uptight parents to become upset. It was the somber fact that this something whatever it may be, was something that he hadn’t noticed himself that made the riddle all but indecipherable. Was he really that oblivious? That he’d been able to overlook something that was apparently a huge deal? They spent so much time together, and he’d someone completely ignored this struggle. “I…” He didn’t know what to say really. He wasn’t going to interrogate her out here in the cold. Though he couldn’t exactly send her on her way and go back to working out, not now. Instead he let out a breath and shook his head, moving past her and over to his belongings, slinging his bag over his shoulders and grabbing his hoodie before he walked back towards her. Basketball still under his arm, he shrugged the best he could, trying to make eye contact with her despite his lack of understanding of whatever she was trying to tell him. “We should go inside. You really do look cold, Saf..” He busied his free hand, gripping at the strap of his gym bag to avoid it awkwardly hanging freely between them. “We can talk. If you want to. Like if you want to tell me what’s going on? It’s also okay if you don’t want to- I mean- Whatever makes you comfortable.”

for one fearful moment she really thought he was done. she was convinced, what with the way his head shook and he walked right past her, that JJ was finally done with all of her shit. that this, somehow, had become the tipping point. a culmination of struggles small and large—communication issues, frustrations, avoidance, and finally one big problem to prove that seraphina albright was actually fucked up—that made him realize that he didn’t want to do it anymore. that it’d just be easier and somehow more worth it if he walked away. separated himself. the thought provoked a memory from not that long ago, in which JJ read something to her aloud. a rilke poem—his favorite at that moment. unbeknownst to him, she’d revisited it a few times since, picking it apart in the way that she felt she had to when she didn’t just get something. how can i keep my soul in me, so that it doesn’t touch your soul? it was cruelly ironic, the way it came together now, the struggling of it all, while watching him lift his bang to his shoulder and grab a hoodie that must’ve been thrown aside earlier in the night. how can i raise it high enough, past you, to other things?

saffie swallowed, hoping the motion would sooth the growing lump in her throat, turning so that she could face him wholly again. it wasn’t much of a conscious decision—more so something her body felt the need to do without entirely making her aware. even if this was it, even as she waited for him to say something that would confirm he was tired of it, she needed to look at him. she just needed to. her line of sight rose as he neared, maintaining contact with his eyes despite a truly unfair height advantage and fear of what very well may happen next. except... it didn’t. “oh—” she spoke too soon, releasing a breath as his words register. “right. i do. um—okay.” she then nodded, turning away from the basketball court and beginning to walk.

it wasn’t until they were back in her room that she realized it wasn’t the most convenient choice. JJ still had his things, which usually wouldn’t be a problem, but in this case may have been another small burden to add to the pile. it was too late to go back and continue down the hall, though, saf moving to sit at the edge of her bed once she’d shut the door behind them. a nervousness—a shame—foreign to her typically indifferent presentation inhabited her, even finding its way to one of her hands as it rose to move some hair from her face. “so... what’s going on has been happening for a few months.” the timeline wouldn’t get more specific than that. the loss of time, the unawareness of its passing, had been one of the more worrying effects on her end, the impact of it seeming to hit her now as she looked back. “i was really overwhelmed with school work and a few other things and i just needed more time. i—” something stopped her then, mouth quickly shutting and frustration furrowing between her brows. she didn’t want to hide behind excuses. so, off with the band-aid it was. “i’ve been abusing adderall. buying it off of someone.” her eyes met the floor, hands holding one-another and fidgeting some. “last week i fell asleep in a lecture hall... for a class i didn’t even have that day. when my instructor woke me up, i didn’t immediately remember how i got there and, well,” a sigh left her, “i guess that’s when my parents were called. apparently, i’ve also been ‘showing signs of burn out’ and ‘taking on too much.’” saffie brought her chin to her still clasped hands, leaning over so that it could rest there. her head then shook, still not making eye-contact with JJ. “i didn’t mean for it to get out of hand, but...” a weak shrug lifted her shoulders, humiliated.

[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

JJ had tried to study, he really had. Rather notorious for procrastinating in the most dramatic of ways, he’d limited distractions and had intended on spending the evening sat at his desk, trying not to fall asleep. It had been no time at all before an invite from a friend was enticing enough to pull him from his work. Streetball was of little to no interest to him usually, but it was always easier to keep himself distracted when he and Saf were arguing and sport was the easiest way to do so. As always, as it got darker and colder, one by one the other guys he was playing with heading back to their dorms. Eventually it was just him left, working on his endurance until he spotted his girlfriend walking towards him. He stilled with the ball in his hands, surprised and a little frustrated at her arrival. He was never unhappy to see her, but he couldn’t help but feel like it was a little typical. Now her parents had probably already set off back to New York, the two of them could make up without there being any risk of JJ poking his nose around in an part of her life she clearly didn’t want him to know about.

“It’s fine…” He was still catching his breath a little as he spoke, tucking the ball under his arm as soon as it was obvious that she had made it impossible for him to take a shot without risking accidentally hitting her with the ball. “You should get back to Hastings though, wouldn’t want you getting too cold.” He was a hypocrite really. The sweatpants and T-shirt ensemble he had on was hardly weather appropriate. His hoodie had been discarded with his belongings only a foot or two behind where Saffie now stood beside the net and if had any sense he’d have reached for it an hour ago. He didn’t feel the cold in that moment though, the sweat between his brow still managing to be evident despite the temperature. It had also caused his shirt to cling to his back, his free hand reaching behind him to pull at the fabric and relieve himself of the annoyance for a moment. “I’ll probably be out here for a while, but we can talk tomorrow, or whenever.” He couldn’t remember the last time the two of them had both been on campus and not in contact for longer than twenty four hours, not since they’d become official, or whatever they were. And he didn’t have a right to be so passive aggressive, not really. She’d come to apologize, though he didn’t really put much blame on her for how he felt in that moment. It wasn’t her fault that he probably wasn’t proper enough to be liked by her parents. Despite his parent’s accomplishments and fortune, he was still just a common kid really. He didn’t come from a long line of prestigious and powerful businessmen and women, he was going to be the first person in his family for generations to even graduate. He’d reasoned that he’d have nothing to even talk to them about. Not that he knew even as little as their job titles, but he could just sense that they were considerably more sophisticated than his own parents. So it was fine, he understood why she’d have avoided mentioning the dinner to him and why she was so quick to get defensive when he offered to come along. It made sense.

it’s fine. okay, so it wasn’t fine. she’d known this wasn’t going to be particularly easy, but something about his dismissive response especially didn’t sit well with her. if there were a few things she’d come to terms with their last year and some change together, one of them was that she’d much rather fight it out in the moment than let things simmer. doing so only ever seemed to further the chasm that could appear between them, with neither one exactly eager to try and cross it. but things were different now, weren’t they? despite what little she had to show for it, she’d been trying—truly trying—and to continue doing that meant working through the mistakes she’d make. because like it or not, she knew times would come where she’d make them, just as she had earlier that evening.

his immediate suggestion that she leave drew a sigh from her lips, the expressions that crossed saffie’s face—confusion as her eyes flickered over his own clothing, guilt as she found his gaze again—unguarded in a way that wasn’t exactly typical for her. he spoke again of tomorrow, or whenever, and she couldn’t suppress the next word that came to pass her lips. “joshua,” she spoke, not usually one to use his full first name. it was delivered in a tone that implied a silent, come on. a tone that, though a bit on edge, pleaded with him to stop blowing her off. the irony didn’t escape her. “okay, look,” she continued, most of the tension leaving her voice, “you don’t have to talk, but i want to, so...” her head shook, one arm coming to cross over her chest while the other’s palm cupped her cheek. nervous fidgeting disguised as getting comfortable to the best of her ability. “i was embarrassed.” though she fought not to look away, her line of sight drifted off to the side for a couple seconds. then, drawing a deep breath as both arms moved to hug the front of her body, she looked back at JJ. “i’ve been... struggling with something and they found out and i didn’t want you there while i groveled with them not to cut me off, effectively taking me out of school.” some of the aggression and deeper sadness she hadn’t been able to expression towards her parents began inhabiting the words. “—because i didn’t want you to find out that way.”

[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

JJ nodded playfully in response to her prompt, though he quickly stilled as the tone of her laugh made it clear she hadn’t taken his teasing in the way he’d hoped she would have. Her next words had his brow creasing, a mixture of confusion and biwilderment playing on his features as she moved around the room. “That’s obviously not what I-” As she appeared in front of him he sighed, not bothering to finish his sentence or attempting to talk over her as she questioned him again. In any other situation he’d have made some quick quip about how she was cute when she was pissed off, maybe made a move to bring them closer together. After her previous rebuff of his attempt at physical contact however, he stayed frozen in place in front of the door, expression now stoic and a tad bored, not overly interested in whatever passive aggressive warfare they were fast approaching. Her final question was the only one that appeared to not be rhetorical, pulling an apathetic shrug from him in response. 

“I don’t.” Joshua blindly reached for the door behind him, grabbing the handle and pushing it open. He turned as if to leave before spinning back around, unable to stop himself from a retort or two. It was his own fault really, expecting any kind of predictable reaction from Saf. That didn’t stop him from getting frustrated though, especially as his offer was all but thrown back in his face. “I’m sorry that you’re pissed that you have to go out with your parents. Remind me to never just fuckin’ turn up here unanouced again. Or maybe you could put a sign on the door? Whenever you’re having one of those days where you don’t want me to touch or talk to you? I offered to go with you because I thought that maybe being around your parents is hard for you, like it is for me with mine, and maybe-” He shook his head and rolled his eyes simultaneously at himself for trying to rationalize something so small and stupid. “It doesn’t even matter. You’re making it super clear that when you’re fucking stressed out, you wanna deal with it entirely on your own. Which is cool. Good for you.” A sarcastic nod was all the dramatics he’d allow himself before he turned and walked back down the hall, loudly calling back to her as he made his way towards the staircase, voice dripping with the kind of forced prep he reserved for basketball games and calls with his parents. “Have a nice night.” 

she’d made the mistaken of taking a small step forward, not anticipating the way he’d suddenly turned over one shoulder and continued to stand in her doorway. the motion had brought her an inch, maybe two, closer and if she didn’t have to look up some to meet his eyes before, she surely did now. a hand reached up to tuck some hair behind one ear as he spoke—taking shots at her, and rightfully so—the opposite arm crossing over her chest. there was no point in interrupting or trying to backtrack now, as disappointing as the fact was. as much as she wanted to amend some of the things he’d said. because, plain and simple, she did want to talk to him. she did want to feel him there. however, those innocent, sensible desires had become warped, lost in translation somewhere within her synapses. where she wanted to lean into his touch, she instead created a distance. an all too comfortable chasm. it’d so often before kept her safe, but now it’d become something of a detriment. have a nice night. it was all she could do to stay planted, drawing a deep breath and allowing it to fill her chest and then release. then, after letting a few seconds pass, she too turned away from the door, shut it, and left.

***

not many people were out and about, driving in their cars by the time saf came back from the dinner; the term being used loosely, seeing as she'd hardly touched anything. her car’s headlights alone illuminated the street in a faint glow as she pulled up as close to hastings as she could get. putting the little black vehicle into park, she reached up to lower the driver’s side visor, slide the mirror open, and take a good look at the face that met her there. tired eyes framed by smudged black and brown, cupid’s-bow lips set in a nearly permanent frown, the unmistakable streak of black that’d left a trail down one cheek. and the bags—were they always so bad? releasing a curt sigh, she leaned over to pull some tissues from the glovebox. a crumpled few met her face in gentle swipes until there wasn’t a trace of makeup or discernable sadness left. without even a second to take another good look, saf finally opened the door, stepped out of the car, and made the short walk to the house.

she’d decided at some point on the drive back that one of the first things she should do upon getting back was find JJ, though the idea seemed discouragingly more tiresome now. still, after having made a quick stop at her room to change, she started making the rounds. his room, the studies, the quad. finally, pulling up the collar of her aviator jacket, she began to cross campus and head towards the last spot she could think of. if he wasn’t there, she’d have no choice but to give up, seeing as the cool night air already had her limbs shaking and face going numb. luckily enough, though, as she approached the court she could just spot the familiar figure that was her boyfriend. “hey,” she called out once she’d come within a few feet of the hoop, voice verging on hoarse. the sound prompted her to clear her throat, fingertips briefly coming to meet her throat. “i’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” it was all she’d prepared to say, not having had the mental bandwidth to plan out any more. still, figuring it wasn’t quite enough, she moved to lean against the hoop and opened her mouth to say more. “you were right. i was stressed and i shouldn’t have taken it out on you by being short.” she nodded once, gaze falling to the ground. “—and difficult. your offer was nice.” god, it all sounded so lame, so flat. it often occurred to her that JJ deserved so much better than she could apparently deliver, and this? well, it was one such moment of recognition.

[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

If Saf’s sigh hadn’t made her discontent with him pestering her apparent, her slipping from his grasp at the first possible opportunity definitely had. It was fine. She was already running late and it seemed as if he wasn’t exactly helping. As he watched her busy herself with her shoes he pulled his glasses off, hanging them from his collar in the hopes that maybe loosing some of the clarity of his surroundings would make the last two minutes of embarrassment fade away a little quicker. There was no aim really, with his offer to go with her. It wasn’t exactly his idea of a good way to spend an evening but she seemed stressed and he’d figured that maybe a friendly face at dinner would have helped. Either way he just wanted her to know that if she wanted him there, he would be. Her rebuff was message enough that that was not the case though, and he believed her reasoning. Almost. “Uh.. Understood.” A small nod followed his words, there wasn’t really much to say. He didn’t know her parents, not enough to protest anything she might be playing up. Meeting the parents was a big deal, not something that should be rushed. It was completely rational that she’d reacted the way she had and yet he couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something. 

Suddenly remembering the reason he’d made the trip to her dorm in the first place, he headed back over to her desk and reached for the small stack of familiar books. Another bad habit of his, leaving things he needed pretty regularly in her room as a poor excuse for another visit. These particular textbooks had been accidentally left behind in her room for a few weeks now. Linguistic Anthropology, a total bore in JJ’s eyes and a subject he’d found easiest to study in her dorm. At least, if he was with her it wasn’t a complete waste of time. With her night fully booked though, he figured he could actually attempt to study in place of his usual procrastination. He wanted to act normally, maybe say something sarcastic and pair it with his smirk before leaving, but the whole vibe of the room felt off and it was making him feel a little awkward. He resisted the urge to try and get a proper goodbye from her, instead just made his way over to the door, books tucked under one arm. “I’ll leave you to it then? I mean unless you want me to drive you down..? We can pretend I’m just like your very underdressed chauffeur or something.”

by the time she’d finished with the second shoe JJ had already made it back to the door, saf’s gaze flickering down to find the books now under his arm. part of her was very aware in that moment of how dismissive she was being—how brief and under wraps—but if it weren’t that, it’d be anxiety and stress. a mess of emotions she’d undoubtedly carry into the rest of the evening. as pretentious as it was, she didn’t lose her cool very often and this simply couldn’t be the moment she cracked. not even in attempt to garner reassurance, not even in these fleeting moments with him. composure, apparently, was the one useful thing she’d learned from her parents, rebuilt and modified to fit her own arsenal. but then there was JJ’s comment, and there was no preventing the bit of perplexity that found its way across her face. surely, it was meant as a joke, right? if not just an actually kind offer. a nice idea. a riff on the whole outfit disparity thing. still, it’s implications quickly seeped into her thoughts like wine to a dress, practically impossible to get out. and they sucked.

“yeah?” seraphina prompted, standing up. even in three inch heels he stood a full head above her. a bit of a sardonic chuckle slipped past her lips as she hurriedly stepped around her bed and reached for a small black bag hanging off her vanity chair by its chain. “because that’s a low i’d stoop to, right? passing you off as a driver, because you’re not in head-to-toe black tie?” she slung the chain strap over one should and cast one last glance in the mirror. “because that’s something i really care about?” the irony hadn’t missed her. in fact, it nearly slapped her in the face, looking into the reflective surface at the dolled-up attempt at an albright she’d cobbled together in hopes of impressing—of proving something. it made her sick. it didn’t help that the stress and fear she’d been experiencing on a deeply hidden level latched to the small quips as a way of release. turning to face JJ, saf stepped forward until she, too, was at the door. despite the plain fact that she needed to walk through it, she’d stopped and planted herself in front of him—unable to leave. “why do want to go so badly, anyway?” it wasn’t that he’d said anything that’d suggested as much, save for repeated offer to join, but in her haste she didn’t have the mind to come up with anything more accurate.

[saffiealbright]

joshua-buckley​:

Her very obvious hint that she was on borrowed time wasn’t enough to deter him as he crossed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He knew better than to try to steal a kiss when she’d only just finished her makeup, instead leaning down to press one against her temple. “I’m going to pretend you were more excited to see me, but yeah, hey to you too.” His signature smirk was on full display as he urged her to turn around in his arms, letting his eyes wonder for a moment before he spoke again. “Wow, well you definitely look the part, huh? I’m sorry you have to go to dinner with your parents though…” JJ had plenty of experience of being dragged along to fancy dinners by his parents. Though he was convinced there was no way Saf’s parent’s could be quite as embarrassing as his own, he could still sympathise. 

On reflection, he didn’t know much about her parents. Aside from the occasional comment or reference, they really hadn’t come up much at all. He’d have been lying if he claimed he wasn’t a little intrigued. The mystery that surrounded his very own Seraphina Albright seemingly impenetrable most of the time. They were impressive people, he’d gathered. Not sports celebrities with the inability to make it through a meal without talking so loudly and obnoxiously that all the surrounding tables would glance over with disdain written across their faces. Still, she seemed less than pleased about the impromptu plans and he was quickly trying to think of a way he could help. “Hey.. I could come with you? If you want?” He glanced down at his current outfit; jeans, a long sleeved shirt and a pair of Jordans, not quite the picture perfect boyfriend he’d imagine people as prestigious as Saf’s parents would be impressed by. “I mean, obviously I’d have to get changed but I could get cleaned up in ten, easy.”

 It was a mistake, possibly. Inviting himself like that. For all he knew she might not have even mentioned him to her parents. Shit. He was doing it again, assuming they were in the same place without any clear indication. His family had known about her for a while. Nothing too specific, not enough for his sisters to stalk her socials or any other highly embarrassing and overbearing behaviours the Buckley’s were known for. Still, he couldn’t help but mention it occasionally when they spoke, that he was with someone and it was going surprisingly well. “Or not. I mean, not is fine too.”

as much as she would immediately regret it, a frustrated sigh left her the moment JJ’s arms wrapped around her figure. she’d been trying, especially lately, to be even the slightest bit more vulnerable and affectionate and that, right there, had been about three steps in the wrong direction. dammit. as recompense she allowed him to turn her around, forgetting the pair of shoes she’d been headed towards and taking some seconds to really look back at him—or, more accurately, look at him look at her. to be fair, this was a far cry from her usual garb. she couldn’t even recall the last time she’d put this much effort into something as inconsequential as her hair, making sure each and every individual strand was in place and glossed to perfection. there was nothing she could do about the red, a personal choice her mother wasn’t shy about showing distaste toward, but her best otherwise would just have to do. “unfortunately necessary,” saf noted in response to his comment, taking the moment to promptly slip from his grasp and reach her closet. a movement that took more self-convincing than was noticeable.

securing the shoes—black, strappy little things—she tossed them onto the bed with all the elegance of someone bowling way above their weight. she soon followed, carefully sitting atop the mattress and beginning to put one on. however, JJ’s sudden suggestion momentarily pulled her from her focus, chin tilting upwards like a deer that’d just heard a twig crack under a nearby predator’s weight. her mouth opened to protest, though no reasoning came to her right away. nothing that wasn’t the fact of the matter; that he couldn’t be there for this conversation, for the potential beginning of the end. for the reveal of the petty little secret she’d kept from him the last month or two. or had it been three? time was a blur, all things considered. much to her luck, he quickly provided another reason for her. it was flimsy at best, but if she played it off well enough there was a high likelihood it’d work. “self sacrifice. i appreciate it, but i can’t spare the time.” her eyes flit back downward, hands reaching for the second shoe and beginning to put it on. “you know my parents—” she added, knowing that he very well didn’t, but would understand what she meant. “they’re... incredibly particular. not being punctual may as well be a criminal offence. believe me, you don’t even want to meet them.”

[saffiealbright]

@joshua-buckley​

it wasn’t often that seraphina felt the adrenalin pumping through her veins. not like this. not as she whisked around her room in search of lipstick and dresses and shoes that, frankly, she hadn’t worn in years. for once she was thankful that they were still in her possession, having almost donated or thrown it all out on countless occasions. she’d need them if she wanted a leg up on her dinner meeting with her parents. ethan and annabeth albright—or, rather, those in cohorts with the devil, as far as she was concerned. long ago had their naivete and self-centered mindsets turned her off, bringing her to avoid them as much as possible. she had, however, taken advantage of their willingness to provide their only child with an expensive, prestigious education. the pitfall of making a deal with the devil, however, was that whenever she stepped out of line or did anything to jeopardize that education, they’d find out. no matter that she was twenty-two, an adult, and only months away from graduating. they always found out. “mr. fucking hudson,” saffie hissed under her breath for what must’ve been the eighth time as she slipped a black velvet dress over her head and body. the hasty motion fussed with her hair, bringing her to check it in the nearby vanity mirror and attempt to smooth it out with both hands. then there were the earrings—the studs, the little diamond studs that had just been sitting atop that vanity.

equal parts frustration and worry built in her chest. they’d been a birthday gift from her mother last year. a gift that proved she had no idea who her daughter was, but a gift nonetheless and tonight’s pièce de résistance. she needed those damn earrings. pulling the small chair in front of the setup out, saf knelt down and began searching the ground. though she didn’t face the door, it wasn’t hard to hear it open, a shadow much taller than herself casting into the room. looking over her shoulder, her gaze landed on JJ. however, it left just as quickly, the girl standing up and spotting the studs on the chair. how the hell had she missed that? shaking it off, she leaned towards the mirror and began putting one in. “hey,” her voice called out across the space. as far as she recalled, they didn’t have plans tonight. and if they did, no they didn’t. not anymore. “i’m actually heading out in a minute,” she continued, finishing with the second stud and turning to face him. “my parents decided to visit last-minute, which means a required dinner at the most embarrassingly expensive restaurant within driving distance.”  moving towards the closet, her browse rose in a slightly dramatic show of distaste. not exactly for the restaurant, but for the fact that her parents felt it necessary as their stage for the night. “—which i’m minutes from being on track to running late for. what’s up?” 

[books-n-quotes]

You are unexplored, unusual, and terrifyingly beautiful. And only a few will know how to love you without breaking you and making you dangerous.

Nikita Gill, To the Heartbroken Ones on this Night (via books-n-quotes)

[saffiealbright]

harrisonhadlee​:

                    He finally leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair as he emitted a laugh, almost pained, but within it was amusement. He remembered his birthday. Vaguely. There were a few gaps to fill that he hadn’t even dared to attempt to compensate for. ‘Proud’ would not be a word he would use to describe that night nor his friends in retrospect, but as it goes— and certainly should go, what happens in Hooters stays in Hooters. Saffie was a threat to that oath. In fact, she disrupted it entirely, and seemingly never to live it down, Harry had, just about, landed himself in a perpetual battle against ridicule. His eyes bore into her for a few moments, narrowing for a fraction of one of those seconds, “You’re never going to let me live that down, will you?” Harry questioned, though his voice was pleasant. It was their inside joke at this point. As the ‘friend group’ had found itself on the frays, she had been the only one reminding him once again that his summer of, well, insanity was actually alive and kicking at one point. Either that or she was the only one that cared to remember, even in her backhanded way, and that felt important. His smile finally faltered, and he slouched again against the table, smirking, “And don’t think I’ve forgotten about those pictures. I’ve just gotten comfortable with them existing.”

                    He appreciated the assurance that she didn’t think he’d been intentionally aloof. If anyone else that hadn’t been considered a friend suggested he’d been as such he wouldn’t have cared. Only with a few people did their opinions matter, and he suspected she knew that he considered her as one. This did put her in a position over him, but, he was fine with it, just as he was with the dishonorable photos of him that she likely had stowed away on every device she probably own. He smiled as she mentioned Ellie. Ding. She knew very well what had him distracted, and as she proceeded to tease him his head tilted slightly to the side, testing until she alleviated the moment by allowing her eyes to briefly find the back of her head. She was prepossessing— too good for him, honestly, and while Audrey Hepburn seemed a little too rigid of a title for a woman he’d come to know as seldom seen and opaline, he supposed Saffie meant it as a compliment. Her lingering question took him off guard at first, his eyes then scanning her more considerately to see if she was joking. Childlike she appeared as she brought her knees to her chest, and he couldn’t pinpoint the sentiment it carried but he found himself heeding, “Yes. I do love her.” He smiled a little, serious and careful in tone, “I love her more than anything,” Harry confessed, avowedly, and the novelty of the moment almost tempted him to pass the underlying anticipation just below. Almost. His brows faintly furrowed as he retook his initial position on the table, elbows up, leaned in, “… Why do you ask?”

saf inspected harry’s reaction, nonchalant gaze having settled on his face. hyper-observant in the way that someone might be if they picked a stray cat up off the streets and felt the need to carefully study their every move. she watched, he studied her back. it was a back-and-forth that they so often shared, observing one another for things left unsaid. subtle physical cues. things that most might skip over entirely in favor of focusing wholly on what they, themselves, had to say next. there was a consideration to the small act that could be appreciated, saffie knowing that his aim wasn’t to be scrutinizing. he just cared, right? just as she did. because while she studied his reaction and response for her own understanding and gain, she also did so to make sure that he was happy. his well-being mattered to her, whether he was fully aware of that or not.

his answer—yes, i love her more than anything—gained a slow nod in response. there’d been no hesitation, no faultiness in his tone. there was, however, a fondness found in his smile and a great matter of care in his words. his answer felt heavy, but not in a way that suggested burden or unwanted responsibility. it was almost admirable, harry’s quiet declaration—which was an emotional response few managed to even get near tugging out of the albright. his follow-up question, however, though expected practically zapped the feeling from her. they’d once again shifted sides, two baseball teams switching infield and outfield. the desk lamp had been, metaphorically, turned on her. “it’s the... cringiest thing i’ll ever say in my life,” she started with a self-deprecating eyeroll, “but i’ve never really thought love was real.” even having prefaced the statement, saf still found herself hating the phrasing. “—not in the romanticized way most people make it out to be, anyway.” she shifted in her seat, eyes moving to the ceiling in thought. “i mean, everyone craves companionship. we’re only human. and we admire people that either have what we lack—personally, monetarily, status, you name it—or mirror the things we like about ourselves.” she looked back at harry, chin coming to rest on one knee. “i guess i never exactly trusted people to want to go through all of the bullshit for someone else if they had nothing to gain from it—and now that’s exactly what i’m doing. it’s what i’ve been doing.” she shrugged. “—and, overall, i don’t really mind it. like it’s worth it.”

at that she began shaking her head, like she’d just come out of a hypnotized trance. yikes. “i guess i just asked, because you’re one of the more logical people i know. you’re smart, you think things through. for the most part, anyway.” saffie threw him a momentarily teasing look. “i’d trust you to tell me if you think i’m just getting in my own way. if that sounds like love, whatever love feels like. if i’m overthinking it.” an unexpected laugh brushed past her lips. "i need an objective opinion on feelings, harrison aldenkamp. or maybe a therapist.” while undoubtedly embarrassing, there was an immense relief in speaking all of this aloud. in feeling like harry wouldn’t mock or disregard her uncharacteristically jumbled thoughts. in not exactly asking any questions, but knowing he’d have a reply worth hearing.

[saffiealbright]

harrisonhadlee​:

                    He looked up from his studies with a sense of exigency, the augmented sound of his name, and then some, challenging his attention. Hooters. He felt foolish for not just simply sensing her presence as she’d come to rest at the entrance of the room, Saffie, efficacious in her ways, as always. Harry eased, a smile finding his expression— no a smirk, and his hands moved to close his textbook without removing his eyes from her person. Her hair, embers under the light burned brightly against her vibrant blue hues, and he couldn’t help but acknowledge how painted she looked. He watched her stand up straight, and he shifted his weight onto his elbows, bringing his hands together. Game on. Harry moved his head closer to his hands, his mouth concealed, at least from her position, “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were avoiding me,” He capered, his small, amused smile, concealed, and he let his words play with the silence before he began speaking once more, “—Truly, I’ve been wondering when Lady Lazarus would decide to rise again,” He lowered his hands as she leaned against the chair across from him, a pervasive personality; an ascendant stance— he’d always liked that about her. She simply did what she wanted. It was then that he realized he’d missed her company. He should’ve said something at the manor, but they both had been preoccupied it seemed, but that shouldn’t have been an excuse. Ever since their cahoots of a plan had run dry he’d fallen off the edge with her, and that had saddened him. He’d saddened himself. He’d always thought she was extraordinary, and it felt pertinent, especially now, to keep those kinds of people in his life. 

                    His smiled wavered for a moment as she sat, and he relaxed, becoming more sensible, “No, Saf, no, I promise I’m not.” He told her, shaking his head, assuring, and it was an honest answer. It was his last year here, he was stressed, soon enough he’d be having to look for apartments in Boston, and he had fallen into a habit of committing most of his free time to Ellie. Sanguine or not, life had never felt like more of a balancing act; sleep, of course, was a blessing, but he always felt a little sadder when the sun disappeared at around only six in the afternoon. He smiled at her, a corner of his mouth pulling up, almost teasing, until he decided to speak, “… Vineyard Vines, you said?” His mouth closed and he hummed lightly with consideration, “That’s a new one.”

a shrug, casual and perhaps even playful in its execution, lifted her shoulders. “it’s like your frat boy alter ego,” saffie elaborated, elbows resting atop the chair’s arms, hands briefly splaying out at both sides. her forearms then, too, settled at her sides. “yeah, vineyard vines made an appearance on your birthday. fully present. what a character.” the more she continued to speak of this supposed alter ego, the more the image in her head took shape. only, it wasn’t merely a fantastical image, it was a memory. a rather crystalline one, at that. harry, sat at the table inside the restaurant, crowded by a decently sized group of yates boys—and her, just across from the guest of honor. the ridiculous party hat, the even more ridiculous never-ending stack of wings. the few photos she’d taken that night still happened to live in her camera roll—a loving memory, a portrait of epic proportions—harry never having gone through with trying to delete them. “i’m always pulling for vineyard vines,” she noted with a certain finality, if not fondness. whatever seraphina’s specialty brand of fondness was.

“besides, i know you and all of your personalities haven’t actually been avoiding me, that’s not who any of your are,” saf assured, going back to that note in a way that was purely factual. not nearly as pompous as one might expect the phrase to be, but then again she wasn’t a pompous person. aware of herself and confident enough, sure, but never especially self-important. “—all of your time’s just been consumed by audrey hepburn reincarnate. not that i blame you, she is pretty prepossessing.” she shot harry a bit of a smirk, one that would’ve jestingly read, watch out or you’ve got competition if she hadn’t almost immediately rolled her eyes at her own self. by the time she’d completed the small motion, however, something else entirely took hold of her face. something noticeably more considerate, despite the flat way in which she delivered a sudden question. “do you love her?” saffie shifted where she sat so that she could bend her legs and bring them up onto her seat. it’d almost come out too casually, lacking the burst of endearment or anticipation one might expect from, well, anyone else but her.

[saffiealbright]

“harrison peter parker hooters hadlee.” saffie leaned against the doorframe into one of the hastings house studies, the light from inside it casting her in a warm glow. it caused her hair to nearly look like it’d been set aflame, the ends of each loose curl a lick of fire. the minor visual detail contrasted her semi-slumped stance, one shoulder pressed against the frame while the rest of her body followed suit at a steep slant. a human backslash with red hair and arms crossed over her chest. “if i didn’t know just how much you value our friendship, i’d think you’ve been avoiding me.” her brows rose as she came to stand up straight, stepping into the room. she stopped just short of a chair, bringing both hands to rest atop each corner like a businessman who’s just about had it with a slew of incompetent staff and the day’s overbearing workload. almost like she should’ve been donning suspenders, a cigar lazily balancing between her teeth. no matter that she hadn’t particularly sought him out these past few weeks—oh, no. this was an interrogation and the subject was harry. he was under the burning lamplight. if only because it was more amusing that saf having instead approached him and said something along the lines of, hey! i miss you, let’s hang out!

cracking a smile, she walked her way around to the front of the chair and took a seat. “you’re not avoiding me, are you vineyard vines?” @harrisonhadlee​

[yafictionquotes]

Holly Black, Black Heart