Sage

1999's baby | she/her | Personal blog

[werenotreallystrangers]

you don't just marry a person. you marry their ecosystem. their food. the temperature of their house. their sleep schedule. their friends.their family. their way of moving through the world

[theambitiouswoman]

This made me think about all the “I can change them” people and how in reality, it usually ends up changing you. The reason we become those people isn’t just control but the hope that love can create the safety we are craving. That we never got or aren’t giving to ourselves. It’s attaching to potential instead of reality. Believing that if you can fix what feels off, you won’t get hurt later. That if you can shape the situation, you can finally relax

Sometimes it comes from old patterns where love to you meant earning, proving, or holding everything together. So you start adjusting yourself your standards, your needs, your routines,trying to make the relationship work. But you don’t change someone into alignment, you choose someone who already is because that “ecosystem” isn’t a small detail. It’s your everyday life. It’s what you wake up to, how you feel in your own body around them

And if you constantly have to reshape yourself to fit into theirs, you’re not building a life together you’re slowly abandoning pieces of yourself just to stay. And this expands to everything else in your life. Just to avoid looking inward, and really going for the love you deserve

[2productive]

[midnightinshadow]

[academic-vampire]

𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔬𝔫𝔢, 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢

[cassandralombard]

[uroko]

Rainy day in Fukui, Japan // Countryside of Japan[福井++] ♡

[lqpiine]

𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓶𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯

[uroko]

Rainy day in Daira Pond, Japan // 雨の日の平池

[xanaxfarts]

bouquets behind foggy glass is a photo style i will never get tired of

[midnightinshadow]

[academic-vampire]

𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔪𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔢𝔶𝔢

[uroko]

Oirase Stream 奥入瀬渓流 // Discover Nippon ♡

[lioness-of-the-north-2]

My dreams aren’t even as beautiful. 💚

[ngalitzine]

BRIDGERTON | 2.08

[theambitiouswoman]

I keep choosing the life I say I hate. I know what I should do and what kind of life I don't want, but I keep choosing the latter. Any advice?

You may not know this, but this is way more common than you know and than people will admit

This is something like a pattern. Most of the time, in our daily lives even, we don't choose what we want. We choose what feels familiar. Even our wants are a product of these, and its something people do not realize it the correlation. So even if it hurts. Even if we hate it. Our brain will continue to choose that over the possibility almost every time

The short easy answer is to honestly go against yourself and experience the temporary discomfort of it. Because knowing what you should do isn’t the same as feeling safe enough to do it

Sometimes we say we hate something, but we’re not uncomfortable enough to disrupt it yet. Change usually happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the fear of changing. Until then, the brain will rationalize

A lot of people don’t change because on some level they don’t believe they deserve better… or they don’t believe they can handle better. If your self concept is low, you will subconsciously choose what matches it

And sometimes you’re not sick of it, you’re just scared of what life looks like without the pattern. Who are you without the chaos? Without the familiar struggle? Without the identity you built around it? Do you believe you are capable of holding something better? Do you believe you deserve it? Is the goal too big and far off, that it feels unrealistic to you? in which case, have you broken it down and created a plan?Are you willing to feel uncomfortable long enough to build it?

You have to decide that you are worth the disruption and more importantly be willing to experience a reality and mindset that is more cohesive with the life you want

These are just different ideas, I can't really answer it for you. You know you best. But all in all I would say, find something you want bad enough that you are willing to throw everything in the air for it and just go for it. If you don't know what that is, then start with yourself

Invest in your health. Your discipline. Your confidence. Your environment. Raise your standards. When you build yourself up, your tolerance for a life you hate naturally decreases

Now that I’m typing it out… that’s probably the best route because when you become someone who values themselves more, your choices start matching that, without you having to force them.

Remember that what got you here, won't get you there. Change happens when we change. Maybe thats the real season you are in

Hope this helps <3

[theambitiouswoman]

When you water yourself down for other people, they don’t see you as humble. They see you as smaller. And the human brain fills in gaps, if you shrink, people subconsciously assume they’re above you

The brain automatically and unconsciously reads confidence, posture, tone, and self presentation as signals of status and competence, so when you consistently shrink yourself, people’s perception of your authority shrinks with it

I don’t know why you might water yourself down. Maybe to be liked. Maybe to avoid jealousy. Maybe to keep the peace. We’ve all done it at some point. The moment you dilute yourself, you teach people how to perceive you

You don’t need to be quieter, less ambitious, less opinionated, less intelligent, less attractive or less anything to make other people comfortable. The right people are not threatened by your fullness

Be much muchier. Water seeks its level. So stop lowering yours

[cowsgirl]

come on in, the water’s warm!

[dreamyeuphory]

~ Back from a long peaceful break...~