i’m so emotionally damaged that i cry when people show me that they actually care about me lmao

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@sailor-worthless
i’m so emotionally damaged that i cry when people show me that they actually care about me lmao
how can i accept womanhood when i never got over girlhood
well fuck. should i put it back before he says anything else? should i wait and then “fix” it after he points it out?
fuck fuck fuck fuck i probably should have figured out the boundaries of what the camera can and cant see but even then im sure i got way too close at some point and now hes going to ask me why im such a freak
its not that its a surprise, just an unfriendly reminder. ill never be enough to escape my failure after all this time. i was condemned to this nightmare as a consequence for my actions before i even fully understood what my actions were
i will never be enough to make up for the sin of merely existing
this is definitely going to be the part where he remembers that im pathetic and drops me again. it was good while it lasted though!
what is fire if not the very embodiment of hunger? it does not want to die, so it must consume. fire acts like a starving thing; it clutches desperately to what feeds it, leaves nothing in its wake. to hunger is to burn.
okay, so i was definitely out of line. i should apologize, but i dont really know how to do that while also maintaining my boundary that i really genuinely cannot stand not knowing where i stand with someone or why theyre doing something….
i miss having more than two friends!!!! (or at least, i hope still two.) i dont know how to solve this by myself, but its not like i have anyone i can talk this through with right now
what if im hungry and angry and lonely and tired and that seems to be the near permanent state of my existence? i think that should be a fair reason to give in
im so glad that my actual bodily injury comes second to your poor feelings, and that you couldnt even tell me directly to stop talking about it. i love being silenced both physically and virtually!
i wish i could take them up on their offers, because it still hurts so much. however, theres not really any helping freaks like me
when they said “tried to be a halfway decent friend / ended up a bad comedian” and “im trying to be cool about it / feelin like an absolute fool about it” and “so would you teach me im the villain, arent i?” and “i cant love you how you want me to”, i didnt realize they were actually writing about my life lol
normally i at least know what i did wrong, but im still so confused. what happened to being happy that i was back and being friends????
this was a mistake. it hurts so badly and i still dont even know if i got the right books yet, let alone if theyll actually be helpful, so what the fuck was the point?
i actually think i might be going insane now! im positive hes just like, busy existing outside of talking to me, but i cannot stop wishing i had shut the fuck up and just been thankful to have people willing to talk to me instead
when you express your emotions, use “i” statements to communicate your emotions without putting the blame on the listener and/or putting them on the defensive
Space Emails made me cry today
[ID: a screenshot of yellow text on a dark background. It reads "I'm Sorry from Your Past Self. Please do not forget me. Friday, Jun 27th, 2014 at 08:59pm". End ID]