Tr@sh b@by @sailor-worthless - Tumblr Blog

i’m so emotionally damaged that i cry when people show me that they actually care about me lmao

how can i accept womanhood when i never got over girlhood

well fuck. should i put it back before he says anything else? should i wait and then “fix” it after he points it out?

#okay actually maybe not the first one because i think thatd end up being gaslighting #.txt

fuck fuck fuck fuck i probably should have figured out the boundaries of what the camera can and cant see but even then im sure i got way too close at some point and now hes going to ask me why im such a freak

#i dont know why else hes taking so long to respond if not to yell at me #.txt

its not that its a surprise, just an unfriendly reminder. ill never be enough to escape my failure after all this time. i was condemned to this nightmare as a consequence for my actions before i even fully understood what my actions were

i will never be enough to make up for the sin of merely existing

#i cant help but think about all the people that are gone now without me realizing that some conversation would be our last one forever #was losing them a punishment for my sin of existing too? to forever be losing losing losing losing #.txt

this is definitely going to be the part where he remembers that im pathetic and drops me again. it was good while it lasted though!

#.txt

jupiter-suggestion

what is fire if not the very embodiment of hunger? it does not want to die, so it must consume. fire acts like a starving thing; it clutches desperately to what feeds it, leaves nothing in its wake. to hunger is to burn.

okay, so i was definitely out of line. i should apologize, but i dont really know how to do that while also maintaining my boundary that i really genuinely cannot stand not knowing where i stand with someone or why theyre doing something….

i miss having more than two friends!!!! (or at least, i hope still two.) i dont know how to solve this by myself, but its not like i have anyone i can talk this through with right now

#.txt

what if im hungry and angry and lonely and tired and that seems to be the near permanent state of my existence? i think that should be a fair reason to give in

#but i wont #or idk people always talk about california sober or whatever #.txt

im so glad that my actual bodily injury comes second to your poor feelings, and that you couldnt even tell me directly to stop talking about it. i love being silenced both physically and virtually!

#.txt

i wish i could take them up on their offers, because it still hurts so much. however, theres not really any helping freaks like me

#.txt

when they said “tried to be a halfway decent friend / ended up a bad comedian” and “im trying to be cool about it / feelin like an absolute fool about it” and “so would you teach me im the villain, arent i?” and “i cant love you how you want me to”, i didnt realize they were actually writing about my life lol

#.txt

normally i at least know what i did wrong, but im still so confused. what happened to being happy that i was back and being friends????

#like was me obviously trusting him the only reason he didnt express outward hatred towards me?#after all this time was all he wanted just to see me showing more weakness than he was?#.txt

this was a mistake. it hurts so badly and i still dont even know if i got the right books yet, let alone if theyll actually be helpful, so what the fuck was the point?

#.txt

i actually think i might be going insane now! im positive hes just like, busy existing outside of talking to me, but i cannot stop wishing i had shut the fuck up and just been thankful to have people willing to talk to me instead

#whatever i have the whole night ahead of me and might as well keep getting my energy up #then i can finally go on the book run and either figure this all out or finally get put down like the rabid dog i pretend not to be #.txt

when you express your emotions, use “i” statements to communicate your emotions without putting the blame on the listener and/or putting them on the defensive

#.txt

androgynosaurus

Space Emails made me cry today

[ID: a screenshot of yellow text on a dark background. It reads "I'm Sorry from Your Past Self. Please do not forget me. Friday, Jun 27th, 2014 at 08:59pm". End ID]

#i wont #i cant

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Tr@sh b@by