Eros and Arugula

Chloe Goodwin Small town queer. Heartbroken romantic. Contented witch. Monk level gardener. Poet.

[saintjumpingmouse]

her lips

two plump orange slices

vestibules of sugar and citrus

that burst open upon contact

that clean delicate flavor

inexorable from her being

her tongue meets mine

a pink knight sent forth

to secure my surrender

to burns sweet kisses

into my skin

branding me

as hers

[saintjumpingmouse]

She loves

like a thunderstorm

in august

hot, wet, electric

sets fire to my rosebushes

leaves soft red petals bleeding

onto charred ground

and thorns stuck in my palm-

I tried to save them.

Her warm mouth

nurses my cold mountain peaks

like Zeus herself drinking

deep the milk of the earth

every touch reshaping the horizon.

She splits me open

fills the hollow places with

water and thunder

collar bone, hip bone, womb

slick, loud, cruel.

She strikes with an open hand

revels in the desolation

in the desperation

with which she is begged

to relent

to give up her sky god ways

sew seeds in the fields

no more storms

send us drizzle.

She laughs as if you

could command me

who soars above your fields

with fire in my smile

and everything you are

pinned beneath me.

[saintjumpingmouse]

- chloe Goodwin

[saintjumpingmouse]

winter

heater core

gas gauge

sensor broken

oil change, fluid check, fill

weird rumble

misfire?

slow acceleration

slipped brakes

10,000 miles  

wiper motor

tires

at last-

spring

[saintjumpingmouse]

She says her head hurts

She is always hurting

With a chronic pain the doctors

Can’t seem to explain or name

And I’m getting the urge to roll my eyes

And sigh

Because this is another day

Where I won’t get laid

Where I won’t hear any pet names

A day of glares and tempers that flare

And I know it’s not her fault

Not her fault that her default

Setting involves a pounding

Behind her eyes and a piercing

Pain that she can’t describe

Except to say that she’s tired

I’m tired too

Tired of blowing my kisses into thin air

Because her eyes are glazed over

And it feels like nobody’s there

I wish I could take away the bad days

Where she takes leave without pay

Because she wakes up with a wrecking crew

In her head and a zip-tie around her lungs

And I just want to us to run away- to find a place to hide

But we can’t because the pain lives on her insides

She pulls the covers up high and

I caress her side becuase

I know its wrong to say

I’m mad at you

For those doctor’s appointments you don’t go to

I know it isn’t fair-

I just want you to care about you-the way I do

But you see yourself as a broken part of a machine

And I see you as the best woman I’ve ever seen

So I want to enter you

To search every cell of your maze

Until I find the source of your pain

And yell until the doctors

Can finally here what I’ve been saying

I don’t want you to die before me

I don’t want to end up in some waiting room alone

Asking what’s going on and hearing “we still don’t know”

And finishing my day with “We’re sorry for your loss

But here’s the cost-“

As if we both haven’t already paid

Every day in a million terrible and perfect ways

I want to wake up early

Seeing your eyes smile see your lips curling

To accept my kisses

I want to make you eggs and bacon

Without watching your hands shaking

Like you’re about to fall apart

And I swear if we ever find out why

Your body is always falling apart

We’ll find a way to sew you back together

We’ll restart on our lives-cut free our tethers

And visit all the places we couldn’t go

And meet all the people we didn’t get to know

We can cram full the time we have left until

It feels like forever is a possibility

To slipping into obscurity

And even though I’m standing here

With nothing to give but the icepack

of my hands and the warmth in my chest

I need you to know

That even if you never get better

And all we have is stormy weather

I’m going to be standing in the rain

Drawing silver linings around

Every thought in your brain

Telling you it’s okay.

You can laugh, you can cry,

You can curse at the world

You can ask why-

I’ll still be here in the morning

I’ll still be here staring up at the sky

With hope in my eyes and I hope you will be to

Because I wouldn’t trade one bad-tempered day with you

For anything less than a cure-than salvation

Then for you to escape from this living damnation

And when you say you hurt

I just want you to know

I’m sorry, I love you and

I won’t let go.

[saintjumpingmouse]

As above so below

Those who sow reap

And those who reap sow

Those who have suffered

Their wounds will mend

Kindness will reap kindness

Without end

But those who act cruelly shall

Reap cruelty in return

For this is a lesson

That they must learn

With lesson learned

The spell will end

Time will heal and

Love will mend

Those of justice hear my plea

Balance the scales

So, mote it be

[saintjumpingmouse]

A Spell to Attract a Like-Minded Lover

Put on something sexy-this can be anything really-clothes, music, lighting, perfume... Scry into a mirror. Do sexy things in front of the mirror. Flirt with your reflection. Make eye contact with your reflection. Summon your inner demons and repent. (Optional) (Optimists are encouraged to summon their inner strengths and bask in it instead.) Keep doing sexy things while sending your sexy as fuck energy out into the universe. Ask the universe to send someone equally sexy and like-minded to you. When it feels right-blow your reflection a kiss, give it a wink, and maybe even check out your reflection's ass.

Give one last 'come hither' look to your reflection.

Sashay away. You sexy minx you.

[saintjumpingmouse]

A childish offense really-

To take one’s mother for granted

To think one’s father invincible

To throw a firecracker into the tall grass

And run away-laughing.

 What is a child of man, really-

If not a voracious flame

If not a creator of chaos

Who exploits his mother

Who wounds his father-

 Who in seeing his mother’s

Scorched fields, her withered trees,

Her barren streams,

Offers-no reparation.

 Who shrugs-content to forget

The air she gave from her lungs

The sustenance she shared

The loving embrace of her hills and mountains

The way her waters danced with life.

 A childish offense really-

To forget the divinity of trees

To ignore the wisdom of water

To seek instead the thrill of fire

The glory of gold.

 But a mother can hope,

For with surety-

given enough time

All things change

Even the burning hills

Even the children who burned them.

[saintjumpingmouse]

The robins have returned to the holly.

Their russet bosoms press

against his spiky green crown

the small red kings

of another waxing year-

so brave amidst the thorns

so timid- no perhaps- offended

at my approach.

They take flight-

a crimson wave

rising from the earth

leaving red berries 

at the feet of trees

a warmth in my heart. 

[saintjumpingmouse]

Two hands and a heart

a crown on her head

cloth and a needle

a spool of gold thread

to tie us together 

in life and in death

and if it should render

through hurt or neglect

never these words do you forget:

no matter the wound 

love can mend

and what is lost

may be found again.

I pledge my loyalty

and a hand to hold

May our love grow stronger

as we grow old. 

[saintjumpingmouse]

A tiny gold locket

two hearts entwined

A tiny gold locket

her heart and mine

[saintjumpingmouse]

Munin sat in a magnolia tree-

Greetings he passed on to me.

Hugin joined him by and by-

And told me tales that made me cry.

For such emotion and intrigue

They ask so little in return of me-

A flower, a story, a scrap of meat,

Or a shiny pebble as a treat.

I ask of my love across the sea

They tell me her love will always be.

And what more I do implore

She says she’ll love you forevermore.

What joy, what sorrow, what fear, and lust

I wish I could hold her to my bust!

Odin’s secrets I care not for-

For my love she lives on a distant shore.

And I in exile and I in pain

May never see my love again. 

[saintjumpingmouse]

I stand staring

into the great womb

of the world

requesting reclamation

 gift me back my gills

my shimmering scales

my strong bullet shaped body

 teach me again how to live

in the unerring rhythm

of your body

[saintjumpingmouse]

her body in the center of the mattress a great force of gravity

b e n d i n g the fabric of space and time

pulling me towards her in an endless dance of orbit and caress

our bodies moving relative in perfect, circular, harmony

every kiss a d i l a t i o n of time every moaning breath

a confirmation- of event horizon long passed

her impetus her ferocity

a warm sensuous vacuum growing in size v i s c o u s with hunger

the electric folding energy of our souls

vibrating faster and harder then ever before

ALIVE with the joy of entreating

completion-

[saintjumpingmouse]

Aphrodite sets the record straight:

People assumed I did not love my husband that I cheated on him because he was ugly; lesser the truth is he was always beautiful and I always loving but never meant to belong to just one

They portray me as valley girls blonde big tits naked pink yielding young and lazy always listless waiting

yet I spent my youth busy being in lust with the oceans and the earth I came home with dirt on my knees and sea salt in my hair a belly full of cactus fruit

I grew fond of apples and emeralds fell in love with doves and bulls the symmetry and aysemmtry of all things

I was absorbed with appreciation I worshipped trees and whales the way ravens change colors when the sun kisses them

I enjoyed sex copulation masturbation orgies of magnitude love making the musk of man the taste of woman long bubble baths posing in art galleries, on altars listening to philosophers and poets grasping for truth-

And I am old now oldest of the gods still living and still in love with my work I find little pleasure in boredom I have more house calls than all my peers combined everyone desires love

Yet still the press diminishes me I know I shouldn’t let it get to me but- me who fights more ruthlessly than War sleeps with more women than Zeus himself comforts more children then Hera.

Just between you and me if I had chosen the form of a man they would have named me God.

[saintjumpingmouse]

Have you ever seen

an old mail man those old workhorses-

with their soft brown eyes dreaming of lazy green pastures a chair near the fire;

air conditioning-

their slow surefooted gait swayed backs

still strong

but crooked now;

deteriorating.

don't you love them

for their silent steadfastness

sweat soaked harnesses

knee surgeries

full saddle bags

the thousands of miles

to and from your door-

the way they have grown too tired

to do anything

but comply to the ringing of bells

the crack of the whip

Don't you love them

for the unmelted snowflakes in their manes

the steam rising from their mouths

as the speak the histories

they've collected

where snowdrops bloom;

tomatoes grow wild

the house that used to be blue

cruel masters; friendly dogs

and the names

they'll never forget.

[saintjumpingmouse]

You are nightshade, my dear, And I- I am a sunflower blushing beneath moonbeams caress.