SOooo I decided to tumblr... I’ve been avoiding this hell of blogging, but I think it will be the best place I can relieve stress. I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately... So I needed to find a medium to express myself and take some weight off my shoulders... League just wasn’t doing it...
So I guess I’ll introduce myself. I am a very whimsical type of person... I work on a so called “Monica” schedule. I don’t like to make plans, well because I usually can’t make them or double book, hence the stressing... Or I just cancel last minute cause I am so freaking socially awkward and talk myself out of it to stay at home and be sad with my dog cause I am too dumb to realize that my anxiety comes from me not getting out of the house much... Anyways, I gotta stop saying that I can’t be bothered... So here I am writing blogs...
Today I am going to change that.. I am working towards a healthier goal of controlling myself, not allowing others or obstacles control me. I am starting a cleanse, a new job, playing on 3 soccer teams, trying to stay outta trouble and trying to maintain a healthier lifestyle. Unfortunately my anxiety came from being bullied... It started when I moved down here, joined a soccer team got bullied.. and well felt stupid and shut myself out of the social world... So when I actually would try and make friends again I would go full retard and push myself on them and they would be like... who the .... is this psycho... SO after many failed attempts at trying to find friends I just shut myself off from the social world and well stayed at home and played drunk league.... Pretty much it. I found having online friends and talking to my dog was a lot easier... NOPE, I recently found out that it’s hard... when your online friends can’t go and sit somewhere and chat with you... And your can’t really see if they even care, sure skype helps but it really doesn’t...
Anyways, getting off track... Yeah so I am trying different ways, getting a car this year... Freedom... oh how I can smell it... SO anyways, the real reason I wanted to blog was because I am starting a cleanse today.. And I am soooo bad with my food choices... So I am trying to get better at it... :) Today is the first day and there’s still one week ahead for me... yey Today I had a banana and some lemon water.. Tonight is going to be red peppers, quinoa and chicken :) Yum <3 Tomorrow I’ll let you know how everything is going... I’ve started a calendar and gardening along with this blog.. SO will see how the negative people out and positive people in come along :)
