Salt Water Memories

A collection of poetry and messy writing about love, loss, betrayal and mutual destruction...

[saltwater-memories]

Today the memories came flooding back

[saltwater-memories]

They were right, once you find love it not about your heart missing a beat. It is absolute calmness

[saltwater-memories]

I found an angel as sweet as honey. I still can't believe she's real

[saltwater-memories]

I) She was my first,just like my first whiskey and coke she made my head spin. I still remember the hand written letters and baking and those god awful teenage dances. We were so young and so sure. But just like every drug the more poison you take in the weaker you get. I still can’t even say her name she’ll always be the one who hurt me the most.

II) That year we spent endlessly texting, the mountain lookouts over the city and the birthday brownies the adventures and the singing I’ll never forget. How could I forget? you kissed me once and I became a poet. She will always be my favourite, the one that left the deepest scar which occasionally bleeds. But in this wicked world the lesson comes before the learning and she like the ocean had a depth I didn’t see until it was to late.

III) You were the most fierce, you’re icy eyes and steady heart stopped the world from tearing me apart. You scoffed at my unrelenting belief in love, but if it was for my stubbornness and belief you deserve something better then you wouldn’t have ever let anyone in. You’re the one I most want to come back, we will settle down and go to farmers markets and brunches and dinner parties where we will drink to much wine. Without fear or judgment from the alcohol lips that have crossed our paths in recent time.

Don’t ever say I’ve forgotten.. I remember all of the women I’ve loved

[saltwater-memories]

Of all I’ve written this might not have the most notes but it’s my favourite

[saltwater-memories]

IV) We were at the wrong time, we were of the wrong faith. We gave each other our souls well before we gave each other our bodies. When we went away together I couldnt stop thinking that was heaven. But heaven is an illusion and all you wanted was hell

[olearypoetry]

“The thing about writing is I can’t tell if it’s healing or destroying.”

— Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

[saltwater-memories]

Since you have been gone, I have felt so alone and no one seems to notice

A cry for help

[saltwater-memories]

We have given each other souls. Maybe that is why it harder to leave more than if we had just given our body. I have to leave that is the only way we can find love, happiness and peace...

It is not that I do not love you, it is I do

[saltwater-memories]

When they put you in the ground, they also buried the last human part of me

I cannot love

[hatefulfire]

“I want you down on your knees, admitting everything you ever did to me and begging for forgiveness, throwing your dignity and pride away and crawling at my feet, crying how sorry you are, how wrong you were, how much it hurts to know you hurt me.”

— And I’ll never forgive you.

[saltwater-memories]

I love you, but you drain me...

What it’s like to love a narcissist

[saltwater-memories]

Had sex with a pretty girl today, also spent most of the day thinking about you

Life is about balance

[saltwater-memories]

I hope they leave you bleeding on the ground. I hope you spend all night crying about it. I hope you drink until you throw up, but still can’t get them out of your mind, I hope you see them happy with someone else... I hope you suffer

I’m over it

[saltwater-memories]

I will never forgive you for leaving me, when I needed someone the most...

You couldn’t handle it not being about you

[saltwater-memories]

The vodka won’t disinfect your soul...

Serial killer

[saltwater-memories]

She will tell you how you are not like other boys

She will tell you how she doesn’t want to get her way, but she will scream, shout and rip you to pieces if she doesn’t.

She will sleep next to you and hold you tight.

She will ask you to open up and then tell you how she doesn’t want to deal with all your problems.

She will belittle all your achievements, nothing you achieve will be as important as hers.

She will always come back, she will want you to hold her and love her.

She will give you good days, days of nothing but paradise but they won’t last.

She will make you feel like you are always the problem. You are a naracssist, you’re the one causing the issues.

She will tell you she will never leave you and love you forever.

She will try to make you jealous and walk away.

10 ways a man can be abused

[saltwater-memories]

How dare you call yourself the victim. The one who stood there and perverted my kindness,and transformed it from honey to oil. You’re a cancer who has ate at my heart and fed at my soul. But I have scraped the tar out of my lungs and whilst it’s still difficult to breathe, whilst I’m still gasping for air, your power has gone, throw your body at me, try to be kind, but I will never come back. Your power is gone

Victim

[madness-suffocated-me-deactivat]

“This is an apology to myself for every time I sweet-talked myself into thinking you were good for me.”

— Maxwell Diawuoh, Once A Day (266/366)

[saltwater-memories]

AK 2019