The Salty Stoner

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I was able to get a Magikarp up to level 16 in an old Pokemon Blue cartridge in the time it took my PS4 to download this Overwatch update.

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I just got a real, actual, paying, job as a stage hand working at a real, actual, theater and that is pretty neat.

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"that's so sad, alexa play despacito" is my favorite meme of the past five years.

Because my mother actually owns an Echo.

So guess what my favorite phrase to use around her is?

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I might have been a little harsh on Frozen musical.

A lot of my first impression was colored by the Act 2 opener, which is called 'Hygge', and which I was initially completely horrified by.

But now that I've seen footage of how they stage it, it's maybe one of the most daring things I've ever seen in a Disney musical and perhaps the best part of the show?

[salty-stoner]

Tony Awards are coming up, and Spongebob is nominated, as, may I remind you, we are currently living in the darkest timeline.

However, amidst this, I would like the submit the 2:40-55 section of Someone Gets Hurt from Mean Girls as a contender for the Finest 15 Seconds in Musical Theatre 2018.

Hit me with more nominees.

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I’ve listened to the Mean Girls musical cast album a couple times now. And it’s kind of a mess. But I totally want to play Janis.

I mean, obviously, Karen is the role to be coveted here  

But, I’m much more Revenge Party than Sexy, if you get me.

[salty-stoner]

Anyway, I would like to thank the creators of Monster Hunter World for allowing me to make a character with a pompadour hairstyle and also for giving me a customizable feline sidekick.

This just became a game about me and my cat running around, killing dinosaurs, that’s what this is now.

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I always lose weight when I’m going through a depressive episode, but I haven’t weighed less than 100lbs since I was a literal child...

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I watched a ton of Roseanne growing up.

And I was a total Darlene as a kid, all through my teenage years.

Took a hard left turn and BECAME Aunt Jackie at some point though, not a plot twist I foresaw.

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Maybe isolating myself and binge reading manga by Junji Ito ISN’T actually good for my mental health, who knew.

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I was sitting in a chair in a weird position and my cat, who is not a lap cat, suddenly jumped into my lap, and since he weighs 16 pounds, he knocked me out of the fucking chair.

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Super jealous of people who live near large open fields because I would love to go outside, scream at the sky for a while, and have no one call the cops.

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The best arrangement is to have your weed dealer owe you money.

I recommend this arrangement.

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There's a scene in the the new Walking Dead episode where an eight year old kid somehow sneaks up on and murders a dude right in front of like three people and Carol all but just looks into the camera like she's on The Office.

[salty-stoner]

Anyway, 12 hours later and I’m just now digesting that last night I watched my weed dealer do a line of coke in front of me and then admit that he’s been tempted to “go bi” before.

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I’ve been re-watching Game of Thrones, in the midst of season 2, and I’m sure it’s just because I’ve been feeling particularly lonely and vulnerable, but almost every scene between Shae and Tyrion makes me cry now.

I mean, I remember how their relationship ends. But I always thought that was kinda bullshit writing because these scenes are so sincere and precious, aaaahhhhh.

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People like and comment on my posts about being extremely depressed and then act shocked when they see me in real life and I act depressed, like my dude.

I know a lot of people are super fake on social media, but it I'm getting online and saying I'm depressed? I'm really actually fucking depressed.