Sam I Am

Sam. Stage manager. Loves making other people laugh and smile.

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it’s britney,

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Just a tuesday in Canada

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Meanwhile, at Australia…

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An uneventful day in Saudi Arabia:

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oh my god what the fuck why is this so funny

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All america got is squirrells

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Are we bad people for laughing at the mishaps of kids?

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Groundbreaking revelation

[catceleste]

my favorite winter sporting events

Snow Peas

Beheading

Bat Impressions

Speed Cloning

Bad Ideas

[lagonegirl]

LMFAO

[autohaste]

this was a journey

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I am Jay-Z

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Relatable

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oh. my. fucking.

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theatre people as john mulaney quotes

Actors: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

Director: In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

Sound techs: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Light techs: No one knows what you're talking about, you idiot!

Stage manager: You ever have those days where something happens and you're like... whatever, this may as well happen?

Assistant stage manager: I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.

Stage crew: I am very small, and I have no money. You can imagine the kind of stress I'm under.

Set builders: This is an on-fire garbage can. ...Could be a nursery.

Props department: Because it's the one thing you can't replace.

Costume department: Hi, I'm very gay, and I'd like a few dollars.

Makeup people: I don't look older. I just look worse.

Publicity team: You know how you lie to your parents?

Budget board: Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.

Audience: I'm really sorry about last night, it's just that I'm mean and loud.

[linda-belcher]

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This photo makes me uncomfortable. (via conancat)

[traitor]

kylie jenner looks so cute here!

[swagginkayz]

There was a bee in Simone’s flowers 😭 😂 

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