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"and yet each night we will all see the same stars.” @catstrophysics’s side blog for quotes. my fanfic blog. 

[same-stars]

tonight, the first chill of the year sets in. summer melted in the past, winter on the horizon chased by shortening days and ice on the wind. (I wish you were here with me. I always wish that.)

—m.j.

[same-stars]

we're in a bed I do not know, but we are together. so, for tonight, this is home.

—m.j.

[same-stars]

is there a name for a nightmare that slips into a daydream, silver-bell thoughts tarnished and burned with thoughts best left relegated to the night? the clang of the waking carillon drowns out too much, but the steam-whistle shriek of a black thought in a golden haze cuts through. is there a name for hell that chases around the clock?

—m.j.

[same-stars]

the radio stations here are not like home. the voices crackling through the radio are unfamiliar, chipper in a manner I do not trust. the numbers, too, are strange, decimals off from normal, fractions that may as well be chasms. the music plays without meaning.

—m.j.

[same-stars]

there is something to be said for how radionuclides decay into daughters. there is something there, to me, something buried in a daughter being a product of rot and of time and of pressure. there is a pain I know all too well hidden in tracing billions of years back through time in the scars of another decayed daughter.

—m.j.

[same-stars]

is it loneliness or hopefulness that pounds against my ribs, staring up at the stars and asking "are you out there? can you hear me?"

do I want to be alone? do I dare hope for an answer?

—m.j.

[theboy-thebitch-thelegend]

what does it mean to love? i think, dear child, it means that you have a desire to find every beautiful thing in the world and give it to the one you love and you would do anything in your power to make the world a better place, for them i know this, for i have loved many times and for many years and i love people who may never know the depths that is my love for them, like a deep well and what does it feel like to love? i feel, it is no longer so hard to try to put good things into the world to make the world beautiful for those you love and sometimes you weep for you cannot shelter them from every sorrow i feel this, for i have wept many times and for many people and though they may never know the depths of the well i do not tire of drawing up buckets for them and what does it mean, to love oneself? ah- this is not so easy to me i think it means that you still seek to find the beautiful things for your own self and you must say to yourself "i love you- -and you also are worthy of beautiful things" i say this, not from very much experience though i have tried and though i may never be able to love myself as i love others i think it is a worthy pursuit and what, then, does it feel like to love oneself? i shall tell you another day, i shall tell you as soon as i have found out and perhaps by that time, you will be the one with answers go, child, and love- love others and love thyself

- M

[same-stars]

what comes of the missing? of the hours spent, clock-watching, sunrise-waiting, holding breaths in to make the moments move by. what comes after? what fills the hole of absence when it is no more?

—m.j.

[same-stars]

I’m calling to let you know I’m on my way home. if home can be where you are, and if calling isn’t with a phone but is instead me, thinking about you, and hoping you know I love you.

I’m coming home. is that okay?

—m.j.

[same-stars]

you’re home, and you still don’t feel like you belong. with time, my love. I promise, with time.

—m.j.

[same-stars]

the skin on my hands peels away, worn from work and chapped from the cold, and all I see is you flaking away with it.

—m.j.

[same-stars]

and oh, how Eden burns in winter. how cruelly blood melts snow, how desperately the Tree that bore the Fruit shrivels and screams in flame.  —m.j.

[same-stars]

but oh, what’s a king without a throne? what’s the devil without a little hell to raise?

—m.j.

[same-stars]

and today I am far from home, miles from the ocean and light-years from the stars. (I can’t hear the waves anymore.)

—m.j.

[same-stars]

do the planes fly lower now? I feel my thoughts, my dreams, caught up in their wake, strung along behind jet engines in the clouds. no longer destined for the stars, but instead struck back to the ground.

—m.j.

[same-stars]

but did the serpent repent? did he feel grief, or guilt, as the Apple lay rotting in the Garden and Adam and Eve were forced through the gate? did he bow his scaled head and shed a tear for what would now never be?

did the serpent, too, eat of the fruit of knowledge, and find himself overcome with the pain of might-have-been? did he watch as the Eastern Gate slammed shut behind man and woman? did he see God’s heavenly light overhead, burning him as he lay immobile on the soil? did he know, then, that his pain was meant to be penance, or did he wallow still in greed?

did the serpent repent?

—m.j.

[same-stars]

I feel small, today, crushed under the sun, the moon, the clouds, but I wrap the corners of the sky right around my shoulders and wear a blanket of constellations.

—m.j.