With the lips of an angel

THE BREAK-UP: SAMCHEL.

rachelshinesbright:

Her first fight with Finn had been bad but not this bad, it didn’t involve other women, only in recent fights did it involve other women, or another woman, the one you probably could say Rachel had an obsession against rather than with. When he snapped in anger, she stepped back, she didn’t think he’d hurt her, but big voices intimidated such a small woman. “No!” she yelled, that point not caring what anyone heard anymore, she was way too heartbroken to even remember that this was all kinds of wrong. “I did it because I’m not in love with Finn! I was in love with you! You! But no, I was never, ever, ever good enough for you, I should have known you were just going to go back to your wife. You didn’t love me, you never did, did you? I can’t believe I was so stupid!” she swallowed hard and closed her eyes so tears would stop blurring her eyesight. “It’s everyone else’s turn to be treated like crap, I’m always treated like crap! It doesn’t feel so good when it happens to you, huh? Your wife can do it, Finn can do it, you can do it, people at my show can do it, but I can’t?”

Sam was more than a little taken aback when Rachel raised her voice. The idea had been so he could get inside without anyone raising any suspicion, not for her to yell the whole neighborhood down. Glancing around, he checked to make sure no one was actually paying attention. It was daunting, to have her actually say those three words to him. Or, in past tense directed toward him. He knew that she didn’t mean in the past, though. If she had, then she wouldn’t have been so upset now. There wasn’t much he could do, though, his hands were tied. He did still have a moral compass, no matter how skewed part of it was now was due to the small brunette in front of him. Trying to get her to at least lower her voice some, Sam took a step forward, his hand reaching to take a hold of her arm. “I never said I didn’t love you.” The fact that he did was the problem. He shouldn’t have. He was supposed to love his wife. “Things aren’t as easy as whether I love you, or whether I don’t love her anymore. There’s a baby involved.” He hoped she could understand that. “I need to do right for this baby.” His eyes were all but pleading her to understand. “Please, you can’t be mad at me for wanting to do the right thing for my child.”

THE BREAK-UP: SAMCHEL.

rachelshinesbright:

Rachel failed at remaining calm as well. Why would this happen to her of all people? She just wanted to be loved again, she had tossed away a large portion of her marriage because of her feelings for Sam and Sam didn’t seem to do the same with Kitty which was understandable but not in Rachel’s hindsight. She grimaced when he stood up for his wife, she hated his wife. She hated Kitty being married to Sam, she hated Kitty’s breasts, Kitty’s attitude, Kitty working with her husband, having a job, being more respected than Rachel just because Rachel hadn’t made it big yet, she was going to make it big, she had her opening night and it was semi-successful. Now she hated Kitty for having a baby with the man that she actually loved. Rachel could never win, it’s like she was living in high school again. Eyes welled with tears, both tears she forced and tears with full emotion she cleared her throat. “Don’t talk about no rights. You had no right to cheat on her in the first place! Finn would never cheat on me. That really goes to show you… and me …. what kind of guy and father you really are.” her words were harsh, but when Rachel was hurt, Rachel was harsh.

Sam had had enough of just standing there while Rachel had her little hissy fit. He understood that it probably hurt her to hear what he was saying, but it didn’t mean she needed to act the way she was. He wasn’t the one being unreasonable, and he didn’t know exactly what she expected from him. Did she want him to just leave his wife? When she had a child on the way? No, he wasn’t going to do that. He narrowed his eyes at her, jaw clenched in a sudden burst of anger. “Yeah? If Finn’s such a better man than me, why did you do it in the first place? Don’t make me out to be the asshole here, Rachel. You are just as bad as I am. I’m dealing with it, though.” Well... he was somewhat dealing with it. “I’m gonna be a great father. Come and talk to me when you grow up a little and stop treating everyone like crap the moment you don’t get what you want, when you want it.”

THE BREAK-UP: SAMCHEL.

rachelshinesbright:

Rachel took in what Sam was saying but a striked confusion landed on her face. “You haven’t had sex with her in…” she stopped in her tracks to make overdramatic airquotes “…Forever but she’s pregnant? You’re supposed to be lying to her, not me” Rachel commented. Her hand tapped nervously on her car, she was just thankful the wife he lied to wasn’t going to see this. Or the husband she lied to. But then when he spoke again her thankfulness went away, had he seriously just ended things with her because he got his wife pregnant? Her heart shattered at the words, her jaw agaping slightly. “W-why don’t you want to do this anymore?” she stuttered. “I… I don’t love my husband anymore! Why, why are you doing this? You said things aren’t the same with her. Do you think a baby of all things… a baby she doesn’t want… is going to fix things?”

“Well obviously not forever. And you do know it takes time sometimes before you know you’re pregnant.” He pointed out, furrowing his eyebrows. “What are you trying to say, Rachel?” He wasn’t impressed. “I’m not lying to you. When have I ever lied to you?” This was not a conversation he was wanting to have right now. Especially not in a place where anyone was able to overhear. Looking at the ground below was easier to do than to meet her eye’s in the moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do it. It was that he couldn’t do it anymore. At least, that is what he told himself to make him feel less shitty about the fact that he was having a baby with the woman he was unfaithful to. He lifted his gaze. “I didn’t say I don’t want to. Wanting to is exactly what the problem is, Rachel. Don’t you get it?” He tried to remain calm, though failed miserably. “You don’t have any right to talk about her like that. You don’t know what she does or doesn’t want. She’s... just in shock... or something. And no, it’s not going to fix things. But I need to be there. You’re making this harder than it already is.”

THE BREAK-UP: SAMCHEL.

rachelshinesbright:

Rachel wasn’t surprised when Sam told her his wife didn’t want their baby, she had assumed that but didn’t want to bring it up with Sam. She had brought it up with Finn, but not Sam. Kitty was too… well, she was too much herself to want children. Plus her husband was cheating on her, or HAD been cheating on her so Rachel couldn’t imagine that their marriage was the best it could be. It wasn’t nearly as bad as Rachel’s crumbling marriage but for once Rachel tried not to make it all about her. “How do you not see your wife? Your wife you clearly have sex with?” Rachel asked. She was still bitter, she couldn’t bare the thought of Sam with anyone but her but it was something she had to live with ever since she started her affair. “You know… Finn suggested that we have a baby.” The not being selfish thing wasn’t working out. It never did.

Sam definitely should have seen that coming. Why Rachel was so bitter about it all the time, he didn’t know. Was he supposed to just not sleep with his wife? Because that didn’t make anything seem suspicious what so ever. Letting out a sigh, he brought a hand up to rub his face as he contemplated how to answer her. “Because I haven’t had sex with her in... I don’t know how long.” Maybe if she knew it wasn’t a regular occurrence anymore, she’d stop bringing it up every chance there was. His stomach sank with what he heard next. Surely she was just saying it to get to him. No way was she actually considering having a baby with the man she’d made a point to make known that she wasn’t in love with anymore. Clenching his jaw, he shook his head. “You uh... okay. Wow.” He wasn’t really sure what to say. “I guess it’ll make it easier to not do this--” he gestured between the two of them, “--anymore.” It was something he’d been thinking about a lot since finding out the news. He couldn’t be a good father if he was cheating on his wife. The baby came first.

THE BREAK-UP: SAMCHEL.

rachelshinesbright:

She was taken aback by his attitude. He was being sour almost and it made Rachel almost uncomfortable. She didn’t care if Finn was sour towards her or Kitty, she was used to that, but not Sam, he was never sour with her. Why did everyone always get tired of her? She was annoying, sure but it was just high ambition, she knew she was going to make it no matter what anyone else said, her dads always taught her that it was okay to be like that so why wasn’t it okay with anyone else? She frowned. “Oh. Why won’t she talk about it? How is she um, feeling? Like does she have the morning sickness?” she asked him. “How about a baby bump?!” She asked, she was a little too excited when she asked it so she cleared her throat and lent against her car. “How are you feeling?”

The way her face dropped caused a pang of guilt to rush through him. He shouldn’t have been so short with her, and he hadn’t meant to be, his head was just all over the place right now. Bringing a hand up through his hair, damp from sweat, he let out a sad sigh. “I really don’t know. I guess... she doesn’t really want it?” It sucked, saying it out loud. How she couldn’t want a child was something that was still so hard for Sam to understand. But, he had known it when they had gotten married, so it was an idea he should have been used to. Suddenly there was an onslaught of questions, one’s he never thought Rachel would seem so excited about. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Uh... I don’t know. She’s just... Kitty. I hardly see her often enough to know.” Even when they were both home these days, he hardly ever got close enough to her to know whether or not there was a bump on her belly. “I... don’t know how I feel about it.” He answered honestly, his gaze dropping to his feet before lifting it again. “I mean... a baby is... awesome. I’ve always wanted kids. I just... thought I’d be happier about the news of knowing.”

THE BREAK-UP: SAMCHEL.

rachelshinesbright:

Rachel hadn’t slept one blink, Finn had not come home like he said he was coming home on Sunday - on time for her opening night that had went very well WITHOUT him showing up and they had not spoken since she accidentally told him that she didn’t love him. What it was was Rachel wasn’t IN love with him anymore and she knew he wasn’t IN love with her anymore and she was tired of being in a loveless marriage like her dads had been. She was also in love with her next door neighbor, Sam Evans, and Rachel knew Finn deserved to find someone he was IN love with like Rachel had, her career was too important and it clashed with her relationship with Finn and the feelings just weren’t there anymore. They were opposites. She was going to go to the mall and pick up a couple groceries when she saw Sam run past her house to get to his. “Sam!” Rachel called which was dumb because if Kitty was in the house Rachel would get a stilleto up her behind or a bible or something. An excuse would be easy to come up with, hopefully. “How’s the baby?”

Sam had everything he ever wanted, he should have been happy. It’s what he kept telling himself over and over again. There was no reason to not be happy. It didn’t prevent the ever nagging feeling in his entire being that was screaming just the opposite, though. When it had gotten so bad that he’d do anything to avoid being at home, he didn’t know. It was like it had crept up on him out of nowhere. It hadn’t, of course, it had been there for quite some time, it was just eating away at him more now that he was running out of excuses to not feel so guilty. He didn’t know how long he’d been running for, maybe an hour, maybe more. It was the best way to clear his head, he didn’t think when he had to focus on breathing. The music pumping in his ears also helped distract him. He almost missed Rachel outside as he slowed his pace as he moved towards his front door, though her moving caught his attention from the corner of his eye. Taking out his his headphones, he stopped, moving back towards her. “Hey.” They hadn’t really spoken since he dropped the baby bomb. At her question, he shrugged. “Kitty won’t talk about it.” Pausing, he stopped a few feet away from her. “How are you?”

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: Even if I did, it's not like it matters now... You're going to be happy with her.

Rachel: I'd rather have a baby with you then with Finn.

Rachel: Please don't tell Kitty

Sam: Why wouldn't it matter?

Sam: I didn't mean for this to happen.

Sam: What would I tell her?

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: Because Finn cares.

Rachel: And I accidentally just told him I don't love him. Because I loved you. And now you're having a baby. Great. My night is great.

Rachel: I always remember protection!

Sam: I'm not Finn.

Sam: You... love me?

Sam: I know. Which is good. Otherwise we'd probably have a baby on the way too. I don't know if I could handle two babies. Or having to tell Kitty that I cheated on her and got another woman pregnant.

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: How can you not enjoy sex with her when she lets you bend her over on things and believes in giving blowjobs? I'm nothing compared to her

Rachel: ... You felt that too?

Rachel: WHY weren't you using protection?!

Sam: Why do you think that's stuff I enjoy? Blowjobs are awesome, yeah. But it can be about more than what she lets me do to her. It's just not the same.

Sam: I shouldn't feel it too.

Sam: I don't know. I don't always think about these things. We're lucky that you remember protection when we sleep together.

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: Why?! Why would you want to have sex with somebody like that?! I HATE HER, SAM! HATE!

Rachel: Why even have sex with me when you're getting some from her?

Rachel: Finn and I don't have sex.

Rachel: I'm hurt. I'm very very hurt.

Sam: Because I'm married to her. You make it sound like her and I have sex every day or something. When we don't. And I don't even enjoy it anymore.

Sam: Because it's not just about sex...

Sam: That's not my fault. Finn's an ass anyway. I can't pretend I'm bothered about whether or not you guys have sex. More of you for me. As selfish as that is.

Sam: I'm sorry. I didn't think this would happen.

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: KITTY IS PREGNANT?!?!?!?!???????????????

Rachel: ... So that means you two have sex?!?!?!?!?!?!

Rachel: While we were having sex?!?!

Rachel: What the.... How... I...

Rachel: I guess I really do suck in bed? I HATE HER

[AFTER TAKING A DEEP BREATH]

Rachel: It was nothing you did... She's home often enough to have sex with you, clearly!

Sam: Maybe...

Sam: I... what? Yeah, sometimes. I thought we talked about this?

Sam: Rachel.. it wasn't anything to do with you. Or how good you are in bed. She's my wife. I can't just not have sex with her.

Sam: Are you mad at me?

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: It's okay, Sam. You can tell me. It's not good to bottle things up inside.

Rachel: I don't love him anymore, Sam.

Rachel: I know how you feel, Finn works all the time too.

Sam: Kitty might be pregnant.

Sam: Oh.. What're you gonna do?

Sam: It sucks. Is it something I did?

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: Oh really? What huge thing? You know you can talk to me.

Rachel: I just... I'm having problems with Finn.

Rachel: When is she not working?

Sam: I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about it.

Sam: Again? What kinda problems?

Sam: Good question. I don't know anymore.

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: You don't know?

Rachel: My night is... okay, I guess. Not really.

Rachel: You don't have... your wife?

Sam: Uh.. well, I was kinda just informed of this huge thing. And I'm kinda not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I know how I feel. But I don't think I'm allowed to feel that way. I'm mostly just confused.

Sam: Not really?

Sam: She's working.