Behind Those Vows - Harry Styles
NOT EDITED. I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO CUTE NOT TO POST RN. IT MADE ME CRY BTW. It is by me if youâre wondering haha. ENJOY.
Superstition is for those who chose to believe it. In my life superstition is only an excuse not to look at certain things in life. Today it means having an excuse to not look at a certain thing in my life, too early. That certain thing happens to be a someone and she has the most dedicated friends that wonât let me sneak a peek at her. She doesnât believe in superstition either, itâs more her friends that do.
They say that itâs bad luck - seeing your fiance before you actually get married. Iâd rather see her now so that when sheâs gotten to the end of the aisle I donât just stare at her. Plus Iâm too excited. I want to see how her dress hugs her beautiful figure, not to mention I havenât seen her dress yet. She hasnât seen me either, my tuxedo either. I donât see how that could be bad luck. You think because Iâm seeing my drop-dead-gorgeous fiance, Iâm gonna leave her. Not a chance in my life could I ever - I love her too much.
âReally? {Y/N} doesnât believe in that kind of stuff.â I tried to reason with {Y/N}âs friend, {Y/F/N} by telling her the truth.
âItâs bad luck!â she squealed, resting her hands on her hips. In that moment I was able to slip past her and into the room where I saw {Y/N} laughing. She wasnât in her wedding dress, but in a white slip that looked like it were barely there.
âI see you made it past {Y/F/N}.â She bit her lip, trying to hide her smile. I made my way to her as her other friends went out of the room for a minute.
âMay I say you look inexplicably gorgeous.â I looked at her from bottom to top, slowly looking her in they eye.
She turned, smiling it probably hurt her cheekbones. âYou donât get to say that until tonight mister.â {Y/N} stuck her tongue out just barely, wrapping her arms around my stomach. Speaking of stomach, mine dropped as she hugged me. The nerves were kicking in, the nerves that you donât think the groom gets. You just wouldnât understand it.
âI couldnât help myself.â I whispered in her ear. I sat down in the chair behind me almost as if I fell, pulling her on top of me. I could see her back from the mirror on the other side of the room. Her slip was riding up around her lower back as she kissed me. I gripped the backs of her thighs, knowing it would drive her insane. I could feel her hands around my neck, her lips moving along my jaw leaving pecks. âHoney.â I urged her to stop lazily. â{Y/N}, not here.â I whispered, moving her hair away from her ear as I did so.
She leaned back, her face glowing and a smile on her face. Her whole body was glistening from the night before. Thereâs some proof we donât stick to the whole superstition shit. Her hair was straight except for the curls pieces in the front, one white rose in her hair. I slid my hands ever so slowly from her under thighs to the sides of her stomach. We stared at each other her {Y/E/C} glistening with elation. I had to keep myself from ripping her slip off and making love to her.
Weâre not in the church yet, so it wouldnât be a sin. Yet, thereâs no chance {Y/N} is going to let that happen. I kissed her lips softly, lifting her off of me and to take my place in the chair. {Y/N}âs legs were tucked under her as she stared up at me. I wanted to kiss her so bad but I had just come in her to talk to her. There were no words coming from my mouth nor here, we only looked at each other.
âWe should get readyâŚâ I helped her stand up.
âLooks like it.â She pecked my cheek, walking over to one of those dress holders, pulling the zipper down. âIf youâre going to see it now. Close your eyes for me baby.â I did as she said hearing her messing with the dress and letting out some aggravating huffs of air.
âNeed any help?â I asked, leaving my eyes closed as she advised. My heart began to beat quickly, began to sink for reasons I already knew. Sad enough I felt that itch in my nose as if I were about to cry. This is only going to happen once and itâs happening now. The realization of how lucky I am is sinking in.
âI managed. You can look now, turn around Harry.â Her voice sweet, the best voice Iâve heard on a woman. I opened my eyes, slowly turning around to see someone who left me speechless. I did exactly as I guessed I would - stood there with my mouth open, staring.
Her dress was sheer with lace. Her breasts were covered down around her hips and down her legs. Her arms were covered in sheer fabric with white fabric buttons on the sleeves and around the v-neck part. I couldnât find words for how much this dress fit her. It was the perfect style and fitting for her body. She was wearing heels making her an inch or so shorter than me. Her straightened hair, resting over her shoulders.
I swallowed hard, fidgeting with my hands as I stared. I laughed a little, staring at her without wanting to look away. â{Y/N}, {Y/L/N}.â I walked closer to her as she spinned around for me. âI canât, find any words to explain how exquisite you lookâŚJesus {Y/N} youâre killing me.â I felt tears in my eyes. I couldnât believe that I was about to cry, never did I think Iâd actually cry looking at her today.
âYouâre gonna make me cry.â she waved her hands in front of her eyes quickly. âThank you bambi. God youâre so good to me.â She whispered, picking her dress up to walk towards me. I embraced her as tight as I could. The door opened to the room but nobody was saying anything. She pulled away, setting her hands on my biceps and looking me in the eyes. âWish I could just say my vows now.â
âYou and I both. I should let you finish getting ready before your sister (cousin/friend) or mother kicks me out. Youâre stunning, absolutely stunning if I hadnât said so yet.â I kissed her cheek slowly.Â
I fixed my tux more than ten times, making sure it was perfect. Adrenaline pumping through my body and that stupid smile was plastered to my face. I kept reciting my vows over and over in my head ready to divulge them. My heart sank every time someone opened the doors of the church and it wasnât her. Iâm sure Iâll know when itâs her cue but I canât help it. Nobody knows that Iâve already seen her in the wedding dress and Iâm afraid I might forget the vows seeing her again. Highly unlucky though for how many times Iâve said them.
My best man, Louis stands next to me looking around the room. I glance around noticing how many friends and family are here. It becomes more nerve wracking as I see that all the aisles are full. Tons of people are going to be watching {Y/N} and I exchange our vows. If realizing that didnât freak me out, I would be questioning myself. This has to be one of the most frightening days Iâve been through and itâs not even over.
I see the doors open once more, seeing {Y/N}âs niece all dressed up in a blue dress with a basket of flowers. Only a few more minutes and Iâll be experiencing what I had been in that other room. Now the other door has opened and there are a few people (from what I assume) standing in front of {Y/N}. It all happened; the music, everyone walking down and then the white dress appeared. I couldnât keep my eyes off of her, too mesmerized by her.
âHello handsome.â {Y/N} whispered, glancing at me with a wide smile as she stepped up with me. I took her hands as the ceremony continued. I recited my vows faster and faster a feeling like I might forget them.
âDearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony-â the priest began. If Iâm honest I wasnât paying too much attention. More to what would become of {Y/N} and I after this. This was the second step to starting a life with her, a real life.
A life full of hilarious, depressing, horrible moments that might even be scrapbook material. Hopefully kids will be included in this life. Getting to see {Y/N} as a mother is very clear in my head. Buying a forever house with her, building the perfect garden for her. Going through all the fights that will make us stronger. Comforting her when she feels sad or just needs me to be there. - Iâm going to be there for it all and itâs not going to be how I imagine it. Thatâs the point, getting to witness it and see what life and {Y/N} brings me.
âReady for them?â She smiled, moving her shoulders a bit as she let go of my hands and was handed a very long sheet of paper.
âNever been so ready.â I folded my hands in front of myself, listening to her keenly.
âOne of my favorite movies is about how this woman fell in love with just seeing a man and his smile. Sheâd sit at her booth at the train station and look forward to seeing him each day. On christmas day there he was in the wasteland that was that train station. Long story short he was pushed onto the tracks and he saved her and she pretended to be his fiance.â she stopped, looking at the people is what you could call a crowd. She motioned what could be taken as a whatever, âThe rest isnât so much about our relationship, I just thought it was funny.â
She tucked her hair behind her ear and went back, âAnyways. When I met Harry it kind of reminded me of that movie. I met him at that big park downtown, forgot the name.â she giggled nervously, âI hit him in the head with a frisbee and quite possibly could have sent him into a coma. But look at you! You fell for me instead.â that smile didnât leave her face as she spoke. âYou changed my view on how people should approach others, specifically if a man should approach a woman first. I didnât really think I just went up to him and began a conversation. I made sure to be polite and apologise first though, manners!â Everyone was laughing at this silly woman and how irresistible sheâs being. And it didnât end there, quite far from over.
âOver the course of our relationship we didnât agree with some things whether they were big things or little things. We fought like anyone else does, made fun of how the other did things. We even broke up twice. I never told you - him this but I did actually cry.â
âShe cried for hours.â her maid of honor shouted.
Everyone laughed once more, âI was becoming dedicated to you - no - not âdedicated.â I was madly falling into a deep and painful love. Thinking about you at night made my heart swell and I could have sworn I would implode and die right there in bed. I cried more times out of love than sadness.â she tearing up as the tears fell, âI was losing myself to you in the only possible way I could think of. Giving myself to you hoping that youâd give me the world and treat me like a Disney princess, in which he has. I couldnât go and think about what it was like before you literally. There were men before you but I could never love them the way that youâve loved me.â
She began crying in a sense that she could barely speak words. It wasnât out of sadness - it was pure prosperity. I wanted to embrace her though she held her hand up to stop me, everyone else in the room silent. âYou gave up your life and what you had in my eyes for me. You changed your lifestyle and built one around our relationship. You built me a world full of more than seven wonders. Harry you gave back what I had lost, every single thing. I let Harry see me in my wedding dress before the wedding.â more laughter, âHe looked at me as if I were the only woman he had ever seen. You donât get that look from a lot of people. Let alone expect to get it once. Said he didnât have words to explain how beautiful I looked. This is my second face of make up. Once he - you left I had to take off my mascara stained blush and foundation.â
I cleared my throat trying to stop myself from crying, but it didnât work. I could feel tears coming down my neck. âHarry it took us seven years to realize that this is a perfect combination. You, you are like,â she held her hands up looking up and abruptly back at me, âlike the anything to my everything. You better not mess this up, not that I think you will.â she finished with barely any mascara running but tear streaks down her cheeks. âSaying I love you doesnât do it justice.â
I shook my head not knowing what to say, I went ahead and kissed her. Even though I probably shouldnât have yet, nobody stopped me. I rested my forehead against hers and whispered, âmy vows are shit compared to that my darling.â
âNothing out of those pretty pink lips could be.â she stepped away from me, standing like I had when I listened to her speak. The clapping was dying down now, allowing me to begin.
âIâm gonna start with the clear fact that it did indeed take me seven years to get over myself and see what was really in front of me. I would say about three years ago when you broke up with me for the second timeâ I faked a funny smile, âI realized that just giving you all my time and efforts wasnât enough. I had been giving you these memories that werenât really cherishable but they were memories. I was dumb and believed it was good enough. Iâll never be good enough for you Iâd like to mention. But looking at myself and seeing this man that could do so much more for you - I really needed to do more about it.â I cleared my throat again looking back into her eyes.
âI thought of everything and anything I could do for you even if it was the smallest of things. I was changing the way I lived for you because it felt right. Not with any other woman had - have I ever felt the way I do with you. The way I feel making you happy, the way I feel giving you the world. Looking at the past our relationship I see how much we blossomed over the past three years. How well we get along is what keeps me going, how much love you put into this is what gets me up in the morning. I didnât even want to take the time putting on my tux I just wanted to marry you right then and there. I still want to marry you and I donât see a parallel where I wouldnât want to. Nothing between us will ever make me love you less. Nothing in anyones mind, to do with anything is going to make me think that youâre nothing less than perfect - the best.â
I took a step towards her, taking her hands again, âFor that I owe you my life. I look forward to seeing you when I wake up or when we get home from our workplaces. I get that nervous feeling that I got when you first spoke to me every single, time I speak to you. Iâm always afraid you found a better someone to give you their world, the world. Then I re-think what I just said and tell myself, âsheâs not that kind of person. Sheâs {Y/N} for crying out loud. Sheâs my perfect woman.â And,â I began crying alike {Y/N} had a good ten minutes ago, âand I think to myself that all that pain weâve been through is nothing compared to how much love you just radiate each day. I would be the most selfish man alive if I even thought to ask for more. There wonât be a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a month, a week, a year, a decade where I donât think about my beautiful wife.â I wiped the tears away.
âIf you hadnât hit me with that frisbee I would be a sad loser waiting for someone like you to come along. And you would already be married to some guy that I wished I could be. If I had ever had the chance to look into the future and see this day and anything before or after - I would be truly scared. Scared I would mess everything up for this to happen. Like not being at the park or not being in the place I was. It scares me now to think about what it would have been like if I had been standing in another park. I would have never been graced with this beautiful - gorgeous, marvelous, confident woman in front of me. Iâd be learning French by myself alone, wondering how to flirt in French iâm guessing. If you hadnât come up to me I never would have come up to you is what you might think. But I noticed you before the frisbee hit me and I told Louis that one day Iâll make it with that girl.â I laughed as well did she.
I really tried hard not to cry here, âYou know what we did {Y/FULL/N}? We made it.â
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