September 1st, 2015
As some of you may know (if you still talk to me/follow me) today is my birthday and honestly I just really wanted to sorta make an update about myself and sorta just talk about things for a bit. So if you’re not interested in getting inside my head, then you can skip this and if you continue to read on then by all means, I hope you can relate.
I just find it astonishing how far I’ve come as a human being. It really baffles me to think that one year ago, I wanted to kill myself and I know I don’t talk much about myself but it blows my mind. Its humbling to see how far i’ve come and its almost a bit sad. Just the idea of a birthday, the idea that people will go out of their way to say “congratulations on living another year” is humbling. It shows that people actually care about the fact that you’ve lived another year. What really got to me is that people actually remembered my birthday last year. Its funny because last year, I lost pretty much all my friends except for one but this year I’ve (sorta) gained new ones or reconnected with old ones is more like it but its nice. Obviously there is some fake people that only found out because of my facebook but even that they took the time to do that is still somewhat nice but at the same time its a bit fake. If I didnt genuinely remember your birthday, I wont write it because I think its fake and two faced in a sense but then again thats me. I tweeted about this earlier today. Saying that I’m feeling the indiana jones vibe. Indy was scared of snakes and snakes are liars and personally I dont like liars and I got quite a few today. Maybe I’m just being bitter or maybe I have my guard up considering Ive changed so much in the past year but thats besides the point. Ive always been infatuated with the idea that snakes are liars, its crazy because snakes are slimey and seen as the devil or evil in almost all sources of media. Its crazy but thats probably because the Bible made satan out to belike a snake. Speaking of snakes, theres a song thats been in my head thats about snakes and how often people lie. Ive been meaning to write this song but I have not found the time. I have the chorus down pretty well but not so much the rest because I need to sit myself down to write lyrics. Ive also been infatuated with music and movie making lately and how much I enjoy it. I want to make things and do things. Its funny how my life has gone around in a circle in one year. Last year, I wanted to destroy everything, my life and now I want to make and build and be me. Its crazy how much life changes in such a small time. We all change and its beautiful, it really is. So many things are beautiful because life is beautiful. There are so many more things I’d love to talk about but idk, maybe it isnt the right time or maybe it is im wrong now. But life is a mystery like that.
Anyways, thank you all who wished me a happy birthday and if you didn’t it is ok. Have a great day people. Much love to you all.














