Today I had my same assignment from yesterday. Same patients. It was a pretty easy day yesterday so I was really thankful. My job has been 10x more stressful than ever since COVID. I can’t even focus on the gravity of situations my patients go through cause my work days consist of a billion tasks I will have no time for. These couple of days I could though.
I had one patient, ~20 yrs old who was previously relatively healthy. Had a disease process but was well contained. Until some scans said otherwise and he had to get a craniotomy. Well it didn’t go as planned and he suffered a stroke and massive blood loss. Post op he’s neurologically devastated. Pupils unresponsive to light. Can’t move for himself. He just gets annoyed when I flush his IV. I can tell because he manages to clench his fist and I can see his heart rate go up on the monitor.
His mom only speaks Spanish so she has limited communication with the nurses and his team. When he reacts to me this way she tells him not to get angry and laughs a little. I can tell she just appreciates seeing him react to anything at all.
I’m in there checking on him every hour. Adding formula to his feeding bag. Checking his pupils which never change. Checking his pulses. Monitoring his blood sugar and sodium levels. His mom plays music for him. Loud ranchera shit. She calls her other children on the phone to let them talk to their brother about what they did today or how he needs to wake up so they can finish whatever game they were playing.
This is her baby. Her baby she’s raised for 20 sum years. She never leaves his side. She’s watching her novelas right next to him on her phone. She plays prayers that she listens to with him. She cries at his bedside and I can’t help but want to cry with her. I can’t even grasp the pain she’s going through. I wish things could change for him, but it’s not looking that way. Today she finally left the bedside for a little to be with her other kids. I saw them eating in the front of the hospital. She said bye to me when I was leaving tonight and she looked so defeated and in so much pain.
All in all my job sucks.
