sanctuary from self.

We all need a quiet place, a place where we can selfishly explore our darkest thoughts and deepest desires. This is mine. It should be fairly obvious, but this blog is NSFW and intended for 18+ audiences only.

[sanctuaryfromself]

Drop sucks. Drop at 3 AM in a sex club thirty minutes from your hotel when you were having a perfectly great time prior to it really sucks.

[dicksplit]

[thesocratease-deactivated201510]

omfg

[sanctuaryfromself]

We used the suction cup dildo earlier and I left it on the bathroom sink to dry after cleaning.  This could easily be a scene in my home right now.

[sillylittleparadox]

I have a feeling that my messages to sanctuaryfromself alone-in-my-bed mayibeyourssir didn’t arrive. If so, I will cry out of desperation 😰

BTW, I am back! Missed you wonderful tumblr world 😍

[sanctuaryfromself]

No!  I haven’t gotten anything from you in a while!  

[sanctuaryfromself]

[kindlybeatingher]

That slut is properly prepared for bed

[sanctuaryfromself]

Hi. Hello. Real person here; not someone you can call slut.

This is what happens when credits get stripped off pictures. Every Tumblr dom asshole thinks he can write whatever on your pics.

[sanctuaryfromself]

Me: Do you know what I love?

Him: My hand around your throat as I dominate you in the shower?

Me: Well, yes, but do you know what else I love?

Him: A cock in your ass and the Hitachi on your clit?

Me: Yes, but-- you know, I'm just going to tell you...

[sanctuaryfromself]

He leaves me love notes all over the house. I have a small fear that one day our home will covered in nothing but Post-its.

[sanctuaryfromself]

All chained up with nowhere to go.

[sanctuaryfromself]

At exact midnight, Master wished me happy birthday and made me kneel before him while we talked about the past year of my life. He was kind and sweet… before sending me to the bedroom to pick out the paddle for my proper birthday spanking.

[sanctuaryfromself]

The pros and cons of play parties

Master and I have attended a few play parties in our new community, and we still feel like we’re trying to find our footing.  The community is small with no public clubs and only a few people regularly host parties.  That means it is easy to get to know people, but hard to avoid them if you’ve had a negative interaction.  Last night’s party gave us both our best and worst experience so far in the community...

The pros.

Last night we met an awesome sadistic Domme.  As I was preparing to be chained up in some predicament bondage (thanks to a cool guy that tied me at the last party too), Master struck up a conversation with her and asked her if she would like to help beat me.  When we talked about it later, Master said her face lit up and he loved pairing a masochist and sadist together.  She used her wooden paddle to give me 26 birthday spankings, then Master gave her some of our toys to use on me.  She was great and so engaging with me-- telling me that I was pretty then promptly landing a hard hit with the metal flogger.  

When the scene was over, I overheard my Master and her discussing the possibility of a play date for me.  It was fun sitting back (or kneeling, chained in an uncomfortable position on the ground, as it were) and letting the Doms negotiate while Master made decisions for me.

The cons.

But also last night, one of the hosts got really drunk and was completely disrespectful to Master and me.  He kept touching Master and kissing him on the forehead.  Laster, he kissed me on the lips without consent and dropped (fell? hard to tell because he was so drunk) to his knees and started to kiss my breasts.  Master and I felt under duress because it was his house and we are new to the community here. After the host kissed me, Master handed me my things and we promptly left.  I hadn’t even come out of subspace from our scene when it all happened.

When we got home, we had a long talk about it.  We both felt the same way.  He had to resist punching the guy, and I wanted to slap him and tell him to get the fuck off of me.  But you can’t reason with drunk people and the community is too small to make a scene in a host’s house, especially when it’s our first time meeting them.

Private D/s goes public.

Master and I are historically private in our D/s relationship, and this is our first time together in a community.  So now we are trying to decide what to do next.  Do we stop going to this party to avoid the host?  Is there a way to talk to him and make sure this doesn’t happen again while still attending events in his space?  How do we move forward with the Domme?  

We’re so experienced with each other, but novices in this public space.  Thank goodness we talk about everything and value each other over anything else.

[sanctuaryfromself]

Wants to suck my boyfriend’s cock because I’m so excited about marriage equality.

[sanctuaryfromself]

My birthday is in four days...

And we're going to a play party in two. I hope I leave the party with so many birthday spankings that I can barely even walk home.

[sanctuaryfromself]

I'm out of practice, and he hits hard.

[sanctuaryfromself]

Tomorrow Master's friends are finally leaving, and we get to have our new home to ourselves for the first time since signing the lease. We're also going to our first munch and play party. It is long overdo for me to be beaten and loudly fucked.

[sanctuaryfromself]

Snapchat?

Why would I give you my snapchat when you’ve already sent me dick pics via my submit, despite the fact that we’ve never spoken?  I’m not going to buy the cow when I can get the milk for free, man.

[sanctuaryfromself]

Apartment hunting

Master and I are jumping from hotel room to hotel room with a friend, living out of backpacks while we look for our very first place of our own.  Today, we looked at a cute little apartment with thick cement walls and a floor to ceiling support beam in one of the rooms, which I immediately fantasized about being tied to and beaten against.  This lack of privacy and restricted access to toys has made me a more than a little antsy, so fingers crossed that we get the apartment (and beatings) we want!

[sanctuaryfromself]

Year 4 Wedding invitations from the ex-sucias start to arrive in the mail.  You have no idea how to explain this berserkeria.  What the fuck, you say.  You reach out to Arlenny for insight.  She turns over the cards. I guess it's what Oates said: Revenge is living well, without you.  Fuck Hall and Oates, Elvis says.

Junot Diaz, The Cheater’s Guide to Love

[sanctuaryfromself]

The first time I tasted her was the first time I felt like I could know her. She is summer cherries, saltwater taffy, sweat, submission, and Dove soap. When I’m down in between her thighs, iron clad, my face full of cunt, there’s nothing else in this exquisite, fucked up world. She’s raw. I swallow her down in gulps of passion and she settles my blood, electrolytes. Fuck, it is all I can think about— stripping her down, strapping her to my bed, spreading her legs, and going to town on her delicious cunt. After we fucked for the first time, I left her apartment with cum on my lips, a smile on my face, and a job to get to. I carried her with me all day. At the office. To the gym. To dinner with my cousin. To the grocery store— well, by then she had worn off. But soon enough… I had her back on my face again.

Audio Smut, “The Sensorium” (via sanctuaryfromself)