More hilarious text memes
[TEXT] At Mcdonald’s last night thr guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry so you screamed at him ‘YOU MCFUCKED UP.’
[TEXT] My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly Bloody Marys
[TEXT] If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night.
[TEXT] That’s the second worst thing to happen to my ass.
[TEXT] Just sent my mother the text “we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday”. Hows your day going?
[TEXT] Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
[TEXT] We need to get fucked up again and play games like ‘Save the tequila but dodge the knife’
[TEXT] He’s drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck’s your excuse?
[TEXT] You slept on a pillow of digiorno
[TEXT] Should we go get some celebratory ‘I’m not pregnant’ tacos?
[TEXT] I’ll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
[TEXT] I think ____ will remember that birthday for a while. I’m still dying over the fact that a stripper was hunting me down.
[TEXT] You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice and then hung up.
[TEXT] I threw up off of your balcony and it must’ve been loud because the dog next door started insane.
[TEXT] Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn’t get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
[TEXT] Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if were still alive?
[TEXT] The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
[TEXT] You said this was your mistake shot and vomited on the tv. Never forget.
[TEXT] He jumped into a mall fountain. I don’t think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever.
[TEXT] You passed out and I didn’t draw a penis on your face. Best friend of the year.
[TEXT] it’ll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you’ve had in a month…
[TEXT] Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple this time. Pinky swear.
dededos
ellievsbear
andulkaphoto
discoholicmusic
theartofmadeline
yousharknotpass
